


10 years 2 weeks 4 hours 52 minutes

by TJBaby



Category: GOT7, K-pop
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blow Jobs, Bottom Im Jaebum | JB, Bottom Mark Tuan, Cussing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hand Jobs, Hyungline, M/M, Markbum, Masturbation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Rimming, Shameless Smut, Slow Build, Slow Romance, Smut, Swearing, Switch Markbum, Tags May Change, Top Im Jaebum | JB, Top Mark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-23 08:06:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 206,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13783299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TJBaby/pseuds/TJBaby
Summary: A heartbroken Jaebeom has to find himself after a ten-year relationship is callously broken. He runs away to nurse his heart and soul and finds Mark. Or is it that Mark finds him?After selling up his company, Mark finds employment with his friend Jackson to take up some of the time and to help clear his mental state. It means going back to Japan - the country where he left his heart. Only this time, he finds that he has a stalker... or is this the universe's perverse sense of humour? Throw a handsome man constantly at him in the hopes that Mark will wake up and smell the coffee?How will Mark and Jaebeom cope with the universe throwing them constantly at one another? How will they deal with the ever-increasing feelings they have everytime they meet? Will this help repair their hearts or break them even more?





	1. The First Cut is the Deepest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will Jaebeom do when his world changes with 5 little words?

"Hey I'm home!" Jaebum called out as he came through the door, throwing his keys in the side dish and toeing off his shoes. "Hey, Jinyoung, did you hear me?" He padded softly through the house, searching for his boyfriend. "Are you home?" He skidded into his bedroom.

"Hey-y-y-y…?" He broke off as he took in the scene - the dark haired boy sitting on the bed - sitting on the _unmade_ bed - surrounded by sealed up boxes and packed suitcases. The boy had obviously been waiting for him as he was dressed in outdoor clothes. "Um, what's going?"

The room felt cold, like there was no life except for him. Something prickled up the back of his neck and he suddenly felt nauseated. Jaebeom gulped, unnerved. "Jinyoung?" he questioned. The boy in question turned his head to look at him for a moment before turning away, looking out the small window of their room.

Jaebeom switched his focus to look around the room and felt something stir in him, something unsettling, unnerving. Why were there packed suitcases and boxes and why was the bed stripped to nothing…? He looked at the suitcases then at his boyfriend.

He called out softly. "Hey. Jinyoungie? Hey, what's going on?"

The younger man took a breath before replying, "I'm leaving you."

Jaebeom felt the air thicken around him, his heart filling with fear. _What?_ "What?" he croaked. He looked back at the door he had walked through, as if to ask himself what had he walked into. Shaking his head, as if to clear his hearing, he repeated, "What?"

The answer was still the same, "I'm leaving you."

Jaebeom was floored. He swallowed hard, breathing shallow. His voice was strangled as he asked, "Why?"

Jinyoung breathed out, face resolutely turned toward the window. "I think it's better this way."

Jaebeom exploded. " _Better…_ ? What? Jinyoung - baby - talk to me! What? It's _not_ better this way. You're talking about leaving me. About ending _us_ ! What happened? I mean - what? I left you this morning and everything was okay and then I come home to this? What?" He swallowed hard, his breathing coming in shallow heaves. _It's better this way? What the hell?_ His brain went on overdrive. _He's leaving? But he said he would never leave._

His eyes roved over the younger man's figure. The blank stare out the window, the determined set of his shoulders told Jaebeom the younger was mentally removed, already having left in his head. How had he missed this? What is going on? Why was this happening? Surely they could fix this? Whatever this is. He stood there. Waiting.

"I don't want to talk about it." Jinyoung's voice was firm, face still turned away.

"The fuck?!" Jaebeom was incredulous. "You don't want to talk about it? Are you _fucking_ kidding me? _You_ don't want to talk about it? You _don't_ want to talk about it. You don't _want_ to talk about it? What about me? What about what the _fuck_ do _I_ want?"

"Jaebeom. Stop. You know there's no point in continuing when one of us doesn't want to. There isn't anything to talk about. I've decided and I'm leaving."

"Fuck! Jinyoung!" In anger and frustration, he paced around the room, unable to keep still. He had to keep moving because if he stopped, he would break. He was shaking, partly from adrenalin and partly from fear. He could feel Jinyoung's eyes on him, but he couldn't make himself stop. The younger man's revelation had taken Jaebeom by surprise and the resulting anger, denial, and bargaining was happening all at once. An endless stream of words kept coming out of his mouth and Jaebeom felt helpless to stem the tide of words. "What… _why_ , Jinyoung? I don't understand. You can't mean this! Why are you doing this? What can I do? Is it me? What do I need to change? Is it my late nights? Is it my sleeping habits? Is my habit of flicking through songs that annoying that you'll leave me? No, that can't be it. You wouldn't leave me for that. Then… What is it? What can I do to make this better? Tell me. Tell me, Jinyoungie. Please!" Jaebeom stopped, frustration raging through him. He gripped his hair with tight fingers. _What the fuck was wrong with his boyfriend? What the fuck was wrong with this? What is going on?_ "What the fuck? What do you mean? I don't get it!"

"That's the problem. You _don't_ get it. You never did. That's why I'm leaving."

" _That's_ …argh! That's a massive fucking cryptic fucking cope out. And you know it!" Jaebeom was fuming at this passive aggressive tactic of Jinyoung's.

What the fuck was wrong with Jinyoung? Why won't he even talk about what the problem was? He was just going to leave? What about Jaebeom? What about what the fuck he wanted or how much he cared? After everything, and all that they have been through - he is fine with just leaving? What about their life? Oh my god, what about the cats?

He took a deep breath, feeling angry tears in his eyes and a sharp pain in his heart. Jaebeom looked over at Jinyoung; took in his boyfriend's side profile - the beautiful face that just this morning he had woken up to like he had countless times in the past and stared as usual at the younger, silently thanking his lucky stars for letting him be in his life - now this impassive, resolute face that was not willing to budge from his stance, his decision and refused to even meet his eyes. And to top it off, Jinyoung was stonewalling him and not explaining anything.

Silence from the other man. The silence was oppressive. Jaebeom's heart hammered hard in his chest. He held his breath, not wanting to push the other man yet wanting him to speak.

What does this even mean? Jaebeom couldn't understand what this was. It was frustrating and aggravating. One moment they seemed fine and they had made plans to even go out that weekend with friends and now they were breaking up? What on earth was going on?

Jaebeom was twisted and confused, and his heart was in so much goddamn pain. He wanted his Jinyoungie, not this robot person in front of him with no emotions. He glanced around. The room felt smaller, more compact, more claustrophobic.  Jaebeom had never noticed how small the room felt before. The walls seemed to narrow, the ceilings closing in.

Jaebeom swallowed hard, trying to get his head around the bombshell that had been dropped. He heard nothing save their breathing. The room was so quiet. His chest felt tight and it hurt to breathe. He wanted to reach out and grab his Jinyoungie, his beautiful boy and just hold him; just hold him and tell him that whatever this is, it's okay, they will get through it. He wanted Jinyoung to tell him he had made a mistake and that he loved him and couldn't stay away from him and he didn't know what he was thinking.

Something in him snapped.

"Argh… You know what? Fine. Go. Go fucking leave. Fuck the last I-don't-know-how-fucking-long..."

"Ten years." Jinyoung broke in, his tone soft. Jaebeom looked at the young man. Jinyoung finally stared back at him, but his face was still that neutral, that impassive mask. _Come back._ The younger continued in that same soft tone. "It's been ten years, Jaebeom." Those beautiful eyes met his gaze, never wavering. "Ten years, two weeks, four days, and ten hours and probably about fifty-two minutes. I counted. You didn't."

_But I did, Jinyoungie. I did._

He heard Jinyoung take a breath and braced himself for whatever words were going to come out of his boyfriend's mouth. Maybe he had cheated on him, maybe he was tired, maybe it would be…Jaebeom didn't really believe his his brain kept trying to tell him. He knew it was over, but he didn't want to go out without a fight.

"But why…?" he asked with pain in his voice. "Why are you leaving m...?"

"I don't love you anymore," Jinyoung blurted out.

_I don't love you anymore._

The words stopped Jaebeom cold.

_I don't love you anymore._

The words reverberated through his head, getting louder and louder.

_I don't love you anymore._

He broke down then. He fell to his knees, gasping. Tears fell from his eyes and he felt as if his heart had shattered into a thousand pieces.

He didn't think he would ever forget this moment. Ever.

Deep, heart wrenching sobs wracked his body. He couldn't breathe. _Oh my god, he couldn't breathe._ He shook as he cried, chest heaving, fists on his thighs, tears dripping from his chin onto the floor between his knees. He cried until he felt empty. He cried on his knees until he couldn't cry anymore. Then he was sobbing. He heard himself taking gulps of air and then just sobbing, the sound echoing through the room.

The sun had set by the time his sobs had subsided. He felt choked, and numb.

_I don't love you anymore._

How the fuck… How do you stop loving someone? He couldn't fathom it.

Jaebeom looked at the man in front of him. He was like a complete stranger. His Jinyoung would never have said anything that hurtful, that demeaning, that dismissive of their life together. They'd been together for ten years - longer even! When they'd gone through coming out of the closet to their family; when they'd come out to their friends; when they'd bought their first car together; the first apartment they rented. They had been together through good times, even better times, and they had been through some of shittiest moments, but always, always together. They were friends and lovers, partners in life and in love. And now... Raising his eyes to the ceiling, he took a deep breath before quietly rising to his feet and straightening his back. He looked at the younger man for a while.

_I don't love you anymore._

Jaebeom scoffed in his head. _What the fuck ever._ Jaebeom stared at the man he thought was his world and whom he had thought felt the same way. Now he looked like a stranger to his eyes. When did it change?

"What, Jaebeom? For once you don't have anything to say?" Jinyoung's voice was cold. Jaebeom shivered inside. Cold, and hurtful, the words sharp and designed to sting.

He knew would never forget this moment. He may not dwell on it, but he would not forget it. The moment when Park Jinyoung broke his world and his heart.

He leaned back against the wall. Jaebeom rubbed his hands over his face, weariness showing in his every being. Finally he spoke. "You don't love me anymore. I get that. Then I won't beg you to stay. Because I don't want you to stay. I deserve more than that."

He slid to the floor and bowed his head between his knees. He missed him already.


	2. For Whom the Bell Tolls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Jaebeom ready to move on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos! I'm blown away by the followers. Thank you very much.
> 
> Editor's note: For clarification the Youngjae in this chapter is Yoo Youngjae from B.A.P. not Choi Youngjae. I realised after I had written this that we have two Youngjaes in this story. I am truly sorry in advance for any confusion.
> 
> ***************

The clang of the weights hurt his brain. _Why the hell was he here again?_

Jaebeom felt was frazzled with the noises around him. Usually he found them calming but somehow, today, they irritated him. He stood there with his arms crossed, counting aloud for his gym buddy and friend, Yoo Youngjae, but he couldn't ignore the banging of weights, and the sounds of footfalls on the treadmills. He blinked, hoping to refocus his mind.

"-forty-nine, fifty. Done. Good job, Youngjae." He clapped the younger man on the shoulder as he sat there breathing puffing and huffing due to the workout.

"God I'm unfit again." The puffed-out man sat for a moment before getting up from his seat. Towelling off, he groaned, "Honestly, I must have been insane to let you guys talk me into this this morning."

"You say that every morning, Youngjae," Jin, their other gym buddy and friend broke in. He pulled Youngjae away, allowing Jaebeom to take his place. "Start, Bummie. You," he pointed a finger at the younger man, "...always complain about being dragged here."

"No I don't." Youngjae sulked, towel wrapped around his neck.

"Ah, yeah, you do. You need to stop complaining. That's twenty. Keep going..."

Youngjae conceded, "Well, ok, it's true, but whose bright idea was this anyway?"

Jaebeom shook his head, grinning at his friends, paused his reps for a moment, wagging his finger at them. "You are both as bad as each other. Youngjae always complains about how unfit he is and how we dragged him here - nevermind that it's his idea we attend the gym in the first place. And Jin, you always complain that he complains."

He started up again as they both gasped. "Not true!"  "Jinx!" "Jinx!"  "Jinx again!"

"Grr…!"

He laughed through his reps, trying to keep form, but failing at the expression on both their faces. "Honestly, guys, stop," he laughed, almost falling off his seat. Jaebeom felt the tension in his head ease a bit at the laughter between his friends.

Grinning, he started his final round of reps as the other two stood talking about life. He got lost in thoughts as he pushed through his counts - tuning out the two spotters. He didn't miss the way they avoided the elephant in the room - Jinyoung and Jaebeom's break up. It had been nice to not talk about it after having nothing but days and moments alone to think about it. It's not like he hasn't talked about it. These two knew that since they were the ones he talked to, cried on, threw up on at the end of a particularly bad night full of alcohol and food and tormented thoughts of 'why?' These guys had been awesome - turning up with drinks and food from the moment they had found out Jinyoung had moved out.

But...

It seemed to Jaebeom that it was like the proverbial elephant in the room with everyone else around him, other friends and even family - everyone avoided the subject of Jinyoung. Almost everyone he ran into lately tended to avoid the subject - well, if they knew about it. (It wasn't as if he and Jinyoung had taken out a front page advertisement or anything so some of their outer circle people hadn't heard about it yet or they were only minor acquaintances like his work colleagues.) But people that did know? They didn't like to ask him how things were... Was he that transparent about his feelings? Were they avoiding it in case he fell apart? Were they just uncomfortable with the idea that he might suddenly start blurting out all his feelings to them? He frowned at his thoughts. People annoyed him; maybe it _was_ him.

Frustrated, he grunted under his breath as he pushed against the weights, quickly finishing up his reps.

"How you holding up there, sport?"

Jaebeom turned to meet the concerned gaze of his friends as he did the final count with gritted teeth.

"Yeah, you okay there, Jae?"

He knew what they were meaning and it wasn't referring to the exercises they were doing. A little annoyed at this friends, he threw his towel down before turning to them.

"Yoo Youngjae and Kim Seokjin - stop babying me!" he grumped, noting the aggravation in his tone. _Damn. He needed to calm down. It wasn't their fault._ He took a breath. "I'm sorry. Sorry guys. I'm okay. Honestly." He moved to adjust the weights on the machine for Jin, "Guys, just… just stop stop asking me every five seconds if I'm okay, okay? I'm not going to fall apart just because I thought about ..." He waved his hands about indicating the unspoken name.

A hand came down briefly on his shoulder. "Hey, okay I know we've been over talking about the Jinyoung stuff over the past few days, but we are just concerned."

He caught the shared glances between the two men.

"Jin, yeah I know." He looked at them both and swallowed hard. "Thanks. You know, I appreciate you both just being here." Fleetingly, he just looked at them, wanting them to know he really did appreciate them. Then he grinned, cocking his head to the side. "Now can we just do workout at gym like we normally do?"

The other two shook their heads at him and laughed.

They worked out and talked - just like they did every other morning and Jaebeom felt like a little bit of normal was back in his world. As they moved onto other circuit machines, a loud laugh sounded from a group near them drew their gaze in that direction.  

"Hey who's the little cutie?" Youngjae asked, an appraising look in his eyes.

Jaebeom looked over the group too. He recognised a couple of them as regulars. The other two he hadn't seen before. He looked a little longer, lingering on one of the newcomers. One of them was definitely a bit of 'all-right' though. He let his glance slide down the other guy's body in appreciation. He wouldn't mind introducing himself to that and helping him out with reps and then some.

 _Woah. Where did that come from?_ He frowned at himself.

 _Only a few days and you're already scoping out the talent?_  
_Yeah but he walked out on you, not the other way 'round._  
_But you haven't fallen out of love with Jinyoung so why are you looking?  
_ _It's not like I can't though, after all I was the one who was dumped._

"Argh!" He stopped abruptly and got away from the machine, annoyed with his own thoughts warring with itself. He threw a look at the other group, taking mental note as the other man moved with effortless grace... He liked the effortless way the other seemed to handling the reps of the curling machine… He liked the lines of the muscles as they bunched and released… He liked the angle of his neck… And his jaw… And was that a peek of abs… _nice…_

Oh who was he kidding - he just liked the man. End of.

Jaebeom realised what he was doing and then fought with himself to not keep staring. With an effort he yanked his gaze away… Only to meet the knowing gaze of his friend Youngjae. "Hey," he said somewhat sheepish at being caught staring at another man. Jaebeom felt attacked when Youngjae had the audacity to cock a brow up, and nodded toward the other group. "See anything good there, Jae?"

Rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment, Jaebeom avoided the question and slid his gaze sideways… only to find Jin was standing there with arms hanging on the top of the machine watching Jaebeom. Wearing a shit-eating grin that made Jaebeom want to hit him. Jaebeom internally groaned. _Dammit_. The older man obviously could read his thoughts, laughed, and moved to replace Jaebeom in the seat of the machine and started his own reps. It didn't stop his handsome face from looking smugly at Jaebeom.

Cheeks flaming, Jaebeom ignored the both of them and walked toward the free weights behind him. Youngjae came to stand next to him, still staring at the other group where another loud bout of laughing sounded. Jaebeom couldn't help but to also look over then groaned as he saw his friends watching him.

Youngjae leaned into Jaebeom. The younger man intoned lowly in his ear, "It doesn't hurt to look you know. You're a free man now."

Jaebeom flushed and nodded; he knew.

_Then why did he feel guilty for doing so?_

 


	3. Breathe Some Life Into Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Has Mark found something to give him life again?

The door banged loudly against the wall. He stirred in the bed. A voice sounded loudly, causing him to wince and shuffled further under the blankets.

"Mark! Get up! You're late! Mark!"

 _Go away Jackson._ "Go away, Jackson." Mark's voice was muffled.

"I won't. If I do that, you will never get up, you will spout hair all over your face and you will become a hermit with a beard and you will smell and you will never find someone to fight with and love and do shit things with and good stuff with because I'll be taken by someone fabulous - obviously - and your mother will never forgive me for leaving you here."

"Oh my god you are such the drama queen! Get out!" He snuck a hand out from under the covers, groped around the bedside table, and then threw something toward Jackson. He knew Jackson would sidestep it easily enough.

"Weak. What a weak-ass attempt that was. You have got to do better than that."

"Fuck off." A sock went flying at Jackson. _Why won't he just go away?_

"Pathetic."

He flung the covers back and sat up, knowing his hair was sticking out every-which-way. "Get out." Mark growled.

Jackson's mouth dropped open in astonishment. "Did you just growl at me?"

"Yes." He pouted, feeling petulant.

Jackson mock gasped, hand to his chest. "Wow. Markie. I'm offended." Barely a second later, "Okay, no I'm not but that's impressive. It usually take another five minutes to get to this point. Go me!" A broad grin threatened to split the other man's face.

Mark glared at him. "Go away. Seriously."

"Can't do that sorry. You told me I had to get you up so here I am."

Mark sent him a quizzical look. "When did I do that?"

"Um," Jackson tapped his chin in thought, "...about twenty years ago when we were like in diapers and you were like if I am ever as pathetic as that man over there, come and get me and make me do something, anything, just don't leave me to rot in bed."

Mark gaped at him.

"You're staring at me like I'm insane. I assure you I'm not. My mother had me tested after she dropped me on my head. Come on, Markiepooh!" Jackson started bouncing on the bed. Mark knew he would cave in. This was too much for the morning. _Ugh._

With his patented Jackson-pout, Jackson pushed his face into Mark's and whined, "You wanted me to come and make you do stuff instead sitting here moping about. Let's go out. We can get you laid. Or something! But let's go!"

Mark rolled his eyes before falling back to the bed with a groan. "Why are you doing this? What did I ever do to you?" He turned his head and glowered at the still bouncing man. "Fine. But I'll hate every single minute of it."

Jackson jumped off, sated for now. "Whatever makes you happy, my little chuppybun."

Mark ran a hand over his face, wondering what he had got himself into.

Almost an hour later, Mark still felt barely conscious, even after a quick shower and stopping by the coffee shop. They walked into Jackson's gym; the music was blaring even in the early morning. The lights were bright and everything declared 'early morning people'. Mark knew this wasn't his place.

"Why are we here?" he groused. The clanging of weights equipment was making Mark grumpy. _Definitely far too early for this._

"To have fun?"

He cocked a brow at Jackson. "Is this fun?"

Somewhat defensively, Jackson declared, " _I_ think so."

Mark snorted. "Clearly, you have a warped idea of fun."

Someone waved at them from the other side of the room. Mark squinted. It was BamBam. And some guy he hadn't seen before. Jackson waved back and pulled Mark along with him towards them. Mark allowed himself to be dragged along, clutching the remnants of the green tea Jackson bought him on the way here.

"Hey you guys came!"

"Hey! Yeah Mark here didn't want to come."

BamBam laughed. "Let me guess - it's the day of rest."

Mark rolled his eyes. "It's Saturday. The day of pre-rest," as he shook hands with BamBam.

BamBam laughed again. "Yeah I have one of you types here too." He turned to Jackson. "Shall we introduce them?"

"I don't know. Mark's pretty fussy."

"I'm right here."

They carried on as if they hadn't heard. "Yeah so is this one. Still, let's try it?"

"It's on you if it doesn't work."

"If it does?"

"I'll take all the credit."

BamBam finally turned to pull the other boy forward to Mark. "Hey Mark this is Youngjae. Youngjae this is Mark. Say hi."

"Oh hey."

"Hey." They stepped forward, shaking hands.

Mark noticed the grip was pleasantly warm, but not clammy. The other boy was nice looking; he had been definitely present when they handed out the handsome traits. "How'd they get you here?" he asked, projecting warmth in his voice.

"Promise of helping me move house. Again."

"Again?" he queried.

"Yeah I had to move out of my ex-'s place and I went into a temporary place for a while."

Mark noticed the slightly dejected tone in the other's voice. _Oh so fairly recent break up then._  

Youngjae's voice rose slightly as he continued, "But I've found a new place now! Hopefully a bit more permanent. These guys said they'd help me move there."

"Oh - ok cool."

They stood there, awkward silence creeping in. A bang and a shout made them both jump and turn.Jackson and BamBam had moved away to prep one of the machines. Laughter soon followed as the two tussled.  Youngjae sighed as he watched the other two changing weights on the equipment. "I had said I was going for one ab at least this year. Apparently to Bam that meant I had to come here so that I could work on my single ab. What about you?"

Mark made a face. "Jackson felt I was in danger of turning into a hermit so he made me promise to go with him for one day and do things that he promised me would motivate me at life. Like green tea and  the gym."

He could sense Youngjae's amusement beside him. "Oh? And how's that working out for you?"

"I'm going to kill him. He just doesn't know it yet."

The laughter that erupted from Youngjae made Mark turn and smile. It was loud; it was heartfelt; it was joyous; it was _nice_.

"Hahaha I'm sorry. That's funny." Youngjae laughed some more. "Hahaha I'm not laughing at you. I'm s-s-sorry!"

Mark exchanged a rueful grin with him. "Don't worry, I know. It's okay. I'm not taking offence. Jackson is very full on, but I got organic green tea this morning, Youngjae! Green tea! That was instead of my usual iced coffee and let's just say, it hasn't helped with my non-morning self."

"You're funny."

"You're easy to please."

"Would you like to find out how easy?"

Mark gave him a sideways glance. "Are you flirting with me?"

Youngjae laughed his loud laugh. "What if I am?"

Mark gave him an assessing look. Youngjae met his gaze with a confident beaming smile. Mark knew he liked the boy's aesthetic look. And he liked his laughter. _It couldn't hurt to see, could it?_ Mark sucked in his bottom lip and gave the other man a wink and a smirk. "Then I ..."

"Yo, guys, let's go!" Jackson came bounding up, jumping on them both. "What? Did I interrupt something?"

Mark just about thumped his friend for interrupting the moment. Youngjae laughed loudly, causing Jackson to wince at the volume in his ear. "I think you just cock blocked your friend, Jackson-ah!"

They both turned to watch Youngjae as he walked away to join BamBam on the curling machine. "Aw, man, sorry Mark."

Mark kept his gaze on Youngjae. "It's okay. I think there's plenty of time for that one."

Beside him, Jackson squealed in excitement. "So you are interested?!!"

"Jackson..." he started in warning then paused, his eyes taking in the younger boy's enthusiasm and happiness radiating to even the spot where he stood - feeling black and murky. Where Mark was dark and inky, Youngjae was bright and sunshine. _Maybe...?_

Mark took a deep breath and plunged in. "Yes. Yes, Jackson, I think I am interested."

 _Maybe he can breathe some life back into me._  


	4. Sugar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Mark ready for Choi Youngjae? Is he ready at all?

* * *

The presence of Choi Youngjae made Mark nervous now that he had expressed his interest to Jackson. Maybe he had been a bit too quick to state that to Jackson when he hadn't even spent five minutes alone with the guy. Mark had been second guessing himself ever since.

And now he found himself opposite the man at a table for four. Choi Youngjae. Youngjae Choi.

And it made Mark edgy and very nervous.

The four had decided to relax in nearby cafe after their workout. The decision had been unanimous as they were all tired and starving. There was a comfortable ease in their group - a type of relaxed friendship after their workout. The conversation was casual, the atmosphere light. The camaraderie built around the grunts and strains, laugh and jesting within the gym had extended to this and Mark had to admit it was nice.

_Much better than sitting at home alone._

Silently he thanked Jackson for dragging him out to the cafe. He wasn't sure what was wrong with him today. Maybe he had just needed to eat. Whatever it was, he was extremely grateful for the change in location. Mark was grateful for the decrease in noise level. While it had not been particularly loud at the gym, the clanging of the weight equipment at the gym had bothered him - like bells going off in his head. He couldn't seem to shake it off until midway through their circuit. And then when they were heading into the locker rooms, it had started to bother him again, enough to make him bang into a trio that had walked out of the locker rooms. He had shaken it off at the time.

But he had immediately felt at ease when they had seated themselves within the long-set building; the focus on warm wood panelling and leather padding and being cleanly set out made Mark nod approvingly at the aesthetics of the place. He liked clean, he liked organised. He like neat and he liked tidy. He also like a place that felt comfortable and he quietly felt that, sometimes, most restaurant and cafe decor really didn't hit both targets well. He shrugged. This place was obviously one that seemed to hit both and for that, he was satisfied. Idly, he wondered how they found it. It was obvious to Mark that Jackson, Youngjae and Bambam often went to this cafe as they ordered their items fairly quickly and had led the way upstairs to a table.

But when he found himself directly front and centre in front of the man who had been so very obviously flirting with him and whom he had expressed interest about to his best friend, Mark wasn't sure what to do with this… situation. He was thinking. _Hard_.

He kept looking around the cafe, pretending to take in the atmosphere. Not avoiding Youngjae. Not at all.

Well, it had been a bit of a surprise to him that Jackson had arranged Youngjae to be at the gym that morning. But it was pretty apparent during their workout that Jackson and Bambam had arranged this little tete-a-tete without his knowledge, although it did seem that Youngjae had been aware of it. Mark wasn't sure what to make of that. He felt a little awkward knowing that Bambam and Jackson had set him up essentially on a blind date. It wasn't that he minded as such; it's just that he would have preferred knowing that he was on a blind date.

Or would he? He knew it had been awhile since he had been dating. It wasn't that he lacked any offers from people wanting to date him; it was also that he was a little bit gun shy, a little bit unsure, and more than a little afraid of getting his heart involved these days.

And it wasn't that Mark hadn't wanted to date; it was more that Mark had had no inclination to date someone; - he did not feel a need for arm candy; for companionship outside of his friendships; and he didn't feel compelled to have someone at home waiting for him. Those had been his reasons when he had considered why he should date and then didn't - and even now, they seemed justifiable. His mother and father often said one day he would find someone who would change his mind about all of this. He had doubted this. Until now. Until Choi Youngjae.

He tried hard not to stare at the subject of his thoughts. But it was difficult when a) said subject was seated directly across from his line of sight and b) when Youngjae did everything that unsettled and surprised Mark; -  the way he would touch or slap anyone around him when he found something extremely funny was somewhat endearing; the way he laughed was loud and unfettered; and the way the younger man allowed himself to be in the moment; all of it was particularly attractive to Mark.

Maybe Jackson and Bambam had been right to not tell him about Youngjae?

Choi Youngjae was like a breath of fresh air, a bit of sunshine that shone down on Mark as he in stood in the Garden of Life and all he knew was that he wanted to bask a little bit in that warmth. He frowned, trying to work out what the deal was with Youngjae. Why did he feel pressed to find out more about him and hang out with him more? Was Mark that starved of genuine human interaction?

He peeked under his lashes, watching as Youngjae took a sip of his drink. Was Mark as interested as he had made out to Jackson? Did he want to know what made this man tick? He knew he found the younger man very forward, which made Mark feel a bit edgy. Mark wasn't used to that. People often flirted with him, but Youngjae's very open flirting and genuine manner from the start threw the normally-reserved Mark into a bit of a spin. He knew this was one of the few times his interest had actually been peaked enough to be curious about someone. Maybe he _should_ find out more about Choi Youngjae. Mark quietly sipped his drink, peeking another glance at the younger man.

As he once again casually glanced around - carefully avoiding straight ahead at Youngjae so he wouldn't look like he was constantly staring at the man - he accidentally caught Bambam's eye. Bambam's eyes slid to Youngjae before meeting Mark's eyes again. Mark shuffled awkwardly in his seat. He knew he'd been made, sneaking glances at Youngjae.

Mark smiled briefly at Bambam, wincing internally and silently willing him to not reveal his stalker tendencies. The young Thai boy smiled warmly at him, eyes flicking towards Youngjae again in silent query. Mark wasn't sure what Bambam wanted to know so he shrugged in reply. Bambam took a sip of his drink, his eyes assessing Mark, making the older man feel a little self-conscious at the younger man's long gaze. Instant karma for staring at Youngjae really. Mark made a face, smiling somewhat awkwardly.

Bambam grinned, still holding Mark's eyes as he casually asked Jackson, "Hey who was the guy in the group across from us?"

Mark's eyes flew to Youngjae's in alarm as the other boy leaned forward in interest. Maybe he was reading Choi wrong? Maybe he was being friendly toward Mark but was not wanting to actually date Mark. Mark felt cold at the thought that he read the situation wrongly. _Awkward_.

A simultaneous chorus had sounded at Bambam's question. "What group?" "Which guy?" "Did you like the talent?" The latter obviously being from Jackson. Bambam was laughing, holding up his hands as if to ward off the others. "Hey hey calm! Chill everyone. It was just a question. There was a guy at the leg press machine. Had a big chest. He's part of that regular group, Jackson-hyung. The one that you seemed to be interested in whenever they came in?"

Jackson laughed awkwardly, a sudden flush on his cheeks. "Oh yeah, I know that group." He paused, lips pursed in thought. "The one today? Was that the shorter one with the broad shoulders? Looks pretty good? Yeah I remember him. He's a member. He came in as a guest on one of the others' cards originally and then signed up as a member and been around since. Can't remember his name though. There was another guy that used to come with them, but he hasn't been around recently. Too bad because he was the hottest of them. Broad shouldered guy is not as hot as the missing one but still... not bad. Why? You keen, Bam-ah?"

Bambam laughed, "No, you know I'm happy right now. Just it was him that kept looking across at us and staring at our Mark hyung."

Jackson let out a shriek of delight. "Aiiiieee! Mark! Someone is keen on you! At my gym!"

Youngjae huffed, leaning back in his chair. Mark thought the younger was cute in that moment. Youngjae started to fidget with the salt holder on the table, grumbling at the Thai boy, "Bambam, it's a gym. Most of the people look hot. He could have been looking at anyone. How do you know?"

"Aite aite aite aite - worried you have competition, Youngjae-ah?!" crowed Jackson.

"Sorry to break it to you Choi, but yes, of course, the guy was checking him out!" Bambam declared to Youngjae. "Our Mark hyung is H-O-T -- hot!"

Youngjae looked briefly annoyed at Bambam's response and his eyes flicked towards Mark. Bambam stated this as if he was quite proud of this fact he declared. Mark flushed, suddenly embarrassed and shy, even more so as he felt Youngjae eye him and peruse his body slowly. He felt his face grow and his ears started to burn.

"Why? Was he seriously checking him out? When? Why?" he demanded of the other two, sitting up and leaning forward suddenly.

"The handsome one kept staring at Mark every 7.5 seconds. And I assume you want a better answer for why other than because Mark is hot, hence why you keep checking him yourself every five seconds. Does it make you want to keep them away, Youngjae-ah? You should probably put a ring on it then," Jackson was teasing and purposely trying rile Youngjae up; leaning back with a grin on his face.

"Aiiii! Jackson-ah, you're stirring!" Bambam laughed.

"Well, you have to admit Mark is good looking…" Jackson voice peetered off, his hand making wave motions in the air. "You'll have to get used to other guys checking him out all the time," he teased Youngjae.

Youngjae looked over and held Mark's wide-eyed gaze and pursed his lips, staring with an intensity that startled Mark.

The younger man replied in an aside to jackson, "Oh I'm sure I can handle that. Mark is not a something you want to keep hidden. He's so pretty you want to share him with the world," all the while pinning Mark with his intense look over. After a moment, Youngjae laughed, his eyes seeming to linger on Mark before siding to look at the other two.

Mark's ears were burning and he was sure that his face was the same. "Thanks so much, Jackson," Mark said through gritted teeth.

Youngjae wore a smirk on his face, cocking a brow at him. Mark raised a brow in return. The younger laughed before he gave him a mischievous smile and a sly wink. Mark laughed in startled embarrassment, his hand coming up to cover his mouth, surprised already at the casual discussion of his looks but even more surprised when he felt Youngjae's hand slide against the inside of his knee. With a shocked gasp and eyes wide, Mark jerked his leg up in sudden shock and hit his knee on the bottom of the table.

He swore. "Fuck!"

"Mark!"

"Hyung!"

Two concerned boys looked at him. The third just wore a huge smug smile. _Youngjae_. He waved the other two's concerned looks away. "I'm okay, I'm fine. Sorry I just felt a weird cramp up my leg," he lied. Tingles ran through his body and he bit his lip in consternation. He avoided looking at Youngjae.

The cafe worker interrupted anything further as their food orders came out, for which Mark was intensely grateful for. Their conversations ceased and were held off as they all feasted ravenously, but Mark couldn't help glancing at Youngjae, thoughts furiously running through his head.

He kept looking around the cafe as if nothing was flustering him but internally he was screaming at the turn of events. He had to process how fast this was all going. Choi was interested. That much was obvious. The question was - is Mark? If yes, then how much? Enough to ask him out? Today?

Still avoiding looking at Youngjae, but feeling the occasional bump of knees - which he felt Youngjae kept purposely doing - he kept his eyes moving around, taking in the people, the pictures on the wall, the atmosphere until he was sure his heart was calm again and he could breathe.

_Calm down._

Taking a few deep breaths to distract himself, he realised he actually was enjoying this place and did actually appreciate the atmosphere.

He took a few more breaths and relaxed. The other boys were eating and exchanging few words, clearly focused on their food. He was free for the moment. Mark eased back in his seat and looked a bit more intently around and hummed in approval; he definitely liked and appreciated the more sedate sounds at the cafe compared to the gym.

Well, sedate except for the two not-so-discreet women next to them who were excitedly discussing… things - _personal things_.

He paused - he didn't mean to hear their conversation, but they were talking quite loudly, and was that - yes he definitely heard the word _penis_. He jerked his eyes towards the rest of the group as he absorbed the women's topics of choice. The four men's eyes met as some of the subjects became very personal in a very short time. The four quietly laughed at some of the subjects the ladies had brought up and Jackson leaned into the boys conspiratorially, giggling and pointing covertly to the two gossiping women at the table nearby. Words tumbled out fast as he filled them in on the two women nearby. "So these ladies come in every week when Bam and I come in. Lisa - who is not here - is in love with the trashy boyfriend that keeps going out every night. Last week -- Lisa was going to leave him. But she kept going on about how beautiful his dick was. That's how Bambam and I tuned in to their conversation in the first place. She would not stop raving about this cock. But she is supposed to be breaking up with him."

Bambam made waving motions at Jackson. "Hyung hush hush... Listen... listen..." Jackson went quiet, and they all sat silent, listening.

"Did you know that Lisa is going have a baby?"  

Jackson's face had an 'O' of shock and he held his hands up to his mouth in surprise.

"Really? I thought she and what's-his-face were calling it quits?"

"Yeah I thought so too, but apparently the guy is like the love of her life so she's going to keep him."

"Well, if she's okay with it, I guess… he must have a really big penis."

Bambam sniggered and he and Jackson exchanged a quiet hi-five.

"I know right? She keeps going on with how he knows how to use it and how she gets so excited and turned on, but really, the guys doesn't do a lot for her outside of the bedroom. Surely, she could find someone who would do more for her?"

"Boys are so useless…"

"Jackson - stop eavesdropping." Mark lightly chided as he drank his iced coffee, grimacing at the icy coldness after his meal. It did seem a bit personal to listen into, but they were quite loud and vocal with their conversation.

"Who? Moi? That's what commoners do!" Jackson mocked a shocked look at Mark. "And you know I'm not common! I would never, " he wagged a finger at Mark, "...eavesdrop."

Youngjae laughed out loud, hitting Bambam on the arm with his hand. He pointed an accusing finger at Jackson. "You just did, hyung. And we did too. Otherwise we would never have known that she was pregnant."

Bambam nodded, grinning at his elder. "Yeah, Jackson. It's what we do every time they come in. You can't deny it."

Mark laughed as Jackson pouted at their teasing; pretending to get huffy and annoyed but then a broad smile broke on his face. "Yeah, ok. That's true. But hey - we all did it right?" He motioned to all of them individually. "It wasn't just me?" They nodded in agreement. He deadpanned, "So really, you're all dragging me down to your commoner status."

A chorus of "Jackson!" and "Hyung!" and a sugar packet were thrown at Jackson for his teasing remark. He laughed - a high pitched and happy laugh that they all joined in with.

Bambam's voice cut through their laughter as he dryly intoned, "Well, now we know Lisa is pregnant. Tune in for next time…" He gave a small laugh.

"Ah-haha!" Jackson cackled. "I know right?! It's a good thing we know now or we would have been so surprised next week when she turns up still with the boyfriend!" Jackson looked at the younger excitedly, clenched fists waving excitedly.

With some alarm, Mark noticed Jackson's' increasing excitement. He knew from experience this could get a bit dangerous. (The most noteworthy was the incident three years ago when Mark ended up wearing a side order of honeyed fries with added beer on top because Jackson couldn't stop bouncing around in his chair while relaying his paintball experience. One sweep of his arm and Mark had been covered in beer and fries. He really did not want a repeat of that.) Mark pointedly moved Jackson's drink away from his elbow - just to be on the safe side. He didn't want to wear Jackson's tea - organic or not. He noted that Jackson didn't even notice - the younger just wore a big grin on his face as he continued to discuss what he and Bambam had heard over the past few months. Mark shrugged. As long as he wasn't wearing it, he was fine if the boy didn't notice. Mark tuned back in and  listened to the boys' chatter - some of it was pretty descriptive; the girls apparently hadn't held back on what they shared. Mark laughed - his friends were insane about the gossiping women. He caught a look from Youngjae and held it, shaking his head in laughing resignation, fingers toying with the sugar packets on the table.

"Jackson is too hyped to rein in." Youngjae commented, laying a hand on Mark's forearm on the table, still smiling at the other boys who were now trying to lean towards the other table without the women being aware of being listened in on.

Mark stilled momentarily at Youngjae's touch before relaxing and letting out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding. "Yes, but wouldn't have him any other way. He is a lot of fun, but don't forget, he…

Youngjae interrupted, "... he also has his serious side! Jackson hyung always says that!"

They both laughed. Youngjae drank from his cup, eyes smiling as he held Mark's gaze; putting his cup down before speaking. Mark idly flicked his gaze to watch the younger man's hand toying with the cup handle; also noting his long fingers, and fine hands before meeting Youngjae's eyes once more. Mark was feeling comfortable and happy with the attention the younger was paying him. It felt incredibly nice. He could get used to this.

"Hey, you know, Mark-hyung, Jackson and Bambam talk about you a lot. It's nice to be able to finally put a face to the name. I had always wondered what you looked like." Youngjae's eyes were bright as he looked at Mark. He has nice eyes.

There was the distinct brush of warm fingers against his skin as Youngjae tentatively moved his hand from Mark's arm to his hand and Mark felt sudden tingles run down back of his neck as the soft pads of his fingertips trailed down his arm. The younger dropped his eyes for a moment before lifting them back to look at the older again. He gulped at the look in Youngjae's eyes. He dropped his own gaze to where Youngjae's fingers were now playing with his own. He felt the softness of the younger's fingertips skimming over his heated skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. He watched, mesmerised as each of his fingers were stroked individually, sending frissons of excited shivers up his arms and through his body. He could feel the tug of Youngjae's hand, pulling to turn his hand over and he swallowed the sudden lump in his throat before he turned it over, allowing the younger to access his sensitive palm. His skin felt warm under Youngjae's touch, but Mark discovered it also felt good. Really good. He looked at their hands now palm-to-palm, and bit his lip, looking up into the younger's  eyes.

There was an intensity as they gazed at one another and Mark suddenly felt short of breath.

"Hey, I want to…" Youngjae started, but then was interrupted by a whoop from Jackson.

"Okay, she's three months! Dibs on whether it's a boy or a girl. Or even better - puppies! Oops!"

Both somewhat disoriented, they quickly pulled their hands apart and turned their heads to look at Jackson; at first the young man had excitedly raised his hand into the air, but now Jackson hurriedly pulled his hand down as the women had turned to look at them. Mark snickered behind his hand. Sprung! Holding in his laughter with Youngjae and Bambam as Jackson smiled weakly at the women; the Chinese boy waved and waggled his fingers at them before hiding his head in his arm. The two women quickly exchanged a glance at one another, packed their things and left. Laughter erupted at their table, particularly from the dark haired man across from him. It was a particularly boisterous laugh and Mark fully appreciated it - it made him happy.

He could get used to that sound and that feeling.

His eyes took in the warmth of the boy's laugh, the happiness radiating from the younger's face and wholehearted way the younger man threw himself into the act of laughing. He feetingly wondered if Youngjae would be this whole hearted about everything in life. Bambam tapped him on the arm and Mark quickly turned to the Thai boy.

"So Mark hyung," Bambam leaned back in his car. "... what's up with you? Jackson said you don't have much to do these days? Is this how life of a retiree goes? It must be nice to not have to worry about going to work nor deadlines like you used to."

Mark broke off his musings and thoughts about the young Choi and focused on his friends,  laughing softly. "Haha yeah, I'm just at loose ends though at the moment. Every since I sold my shares in the company, I don't know what to do with myself. I guess… I'm just taking a break at the moment and taking it easy. Someone here thinks _that_ is wasting away." He looked pointedly at Jackson.

He was only teasing the younger boy; he was actually intensely grateful that Jackson was seeking him out constantly and finding him and saving him from himself. If Mark had had his way, he probably would never see anyone.

Jackson casually laid his arm over the back of Mark's shoulders. "And this is why you are here. Because I wasn't going to have you laying in bed at home or sitting around playing games all day and all night. Life is meant to be enjoyed; it's a party - you need to join in."

Mark let out a snort. "Jackson, life with you is exhausting!" Mark stated emphatically, staring him in the eye. "I'd need a holiday every other week if I spent all my time with you."

"Hey! I'm a simple man, with simple wants!" declared Jackson.

Mark gave him a look of disbelief. "Says the man who has fingers in many pies and works himself to the bone and has the energy of a never ending battery!"

"Hey!" Jackson objected. "I like being busy! We only live once! WOLO!" He held his fist out for a fist bump with Mark, but mark just gave him a 'not-on-your-life' look. Luckily for Jackson, Bambam intervened.

"Hyung hyung!" Bambam proceeded to make motions with his arms, dabbing crazily.

"Cute." Jackson deadpanned. "Bambam. Dabbing is so last year that it's two years ago." Then he shrieked with laughter and the two proceeded to make dabbing motions, looking like two crazy nuts next to Mark and Youngjae.

Youngjae shook with loud and crazy laughter, head thrown back, rocking back in his chair. Mark stared, fascinated at the younger man's obvious enjoyment of the moment. He envied him that. A few other patrons were staring at them, and noticing, they calmed themselves to a quieter volume, still snickering away.

"Ah, Youngjae-ah, this is fun. You should come with us every morning." Bambam took a long sip of his drink, looking tired and drained from the craziness after a big workout.

"Ah, I didn't mind doing this morning. But you know I'm not a big fan of the gym and exercise! Besides, I don't want to be third wheeling it with only two crazy nutters. Maybe if Mark hyung is going too, I'll consider it."

"Aiiiiii! Only if Mark hyung come too, huh?" Jackson and Bambam both gave Youngjae a teasing smirk, both of them waggling their eyebrows. Youngjae's face was pink with embarrassment. They teased him further. "What? We aren't good enough for you? Only Mark hyung will do, huh?" The two laughed, hi-fiving each other as they chorused, "We told you you'd like him! Ask him out now!"

Mark felt his face burning, suddenly bashful as he and Youngjae were put on the spot.

Wincing, as he anticipated a denial from the other man, he snuck a glance at the younger, but to his surprise, there was a soft, but appraising look from him. Mark's eyes widened in surprise, then he smiled softly in return.

Beside him, Jackson shrieked. In his ear. High-pitched and loud. Ouch.

"Did you hear that Mark?!"

Mark tugged his lower lip into his mouth, blushing in embarrassment. "Yes, Jackson, I heard," lifting his eyes to meet Youngjae's, feeling suddenly shy and nervous. "I am right here. I can hear what you hear too."

Jackson clapped him on the shoulder. "Just checking. Sometimes you are completely oblivious to that kind of thing."

Youngjae laughed. "I think I have been very obvious, Jackson-ah. It's just you keep cock blocking whenever Mark wants to ask me out."

Mark's mouth dropped open. "I wanted to ask you out?" he asked incredulously.

_What? Well yes, he wanted to, but he was going to wait for the right moment._

Youngjae grabbed his hand again. "Oh good - I'm glad you asked. Yes. Is next Thursday good for you?"

Blindsided, Mark nodded mutely. Jackson squeezed him tightly around the shoulders as Mark sat there stunned. "Good job, Mark. Ahhhh!" Jackson sighed at first in delight then he turned serious. "You owe me twenty dollars."

Mark turned his head slowly, still shocked at the turn of events. "Why?"

"Because Youngjae here was going to ask you on a date. But instead you asked. So Bamie will win and then I'll have to give him twenty dollars and so really it's on you that I lost so therefore you owe me. So now you owe me twenty dollars. Unless you back out and say no and don't really want to date Youngjae-ah..."

Mark looked long and hard at Jackson. The younger man had such an earnest look on his face as he truly believed this logic. The sad part was that Mark could follow his logic. He shook his head in silent amusement. Mark turned to look at Youngjae - there was a sudden reservation on the young boy's face, a closed-off mask of sorts, and Mark could tell the other man was trying to hide his fear of possible rejection. That sealed it for Mark.

"Thursday works for me," he confirmed. And flushed again as Youngjae smiled broadly with pleasure.

Cheeks burning, but grinning back at Youngjae, Mark pulled out his wallet, took out a twenty, and handed it to Jackson, his eyes never once leaving Youngjae's.

Youngjae let out a roar of laughter. Mark laughed along with him.

He could feel it. This was a good thing.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well so hey, what do you think so far? We've had a bit of insight into both Jaebeom and Mark's worlds - I 'm keen to hear what you think about them so far!


	5. Fade Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some days are better than others. And others are just not that good. And those not so good days? They are better when you're with friends. It's a rollercoaster of emotions with Jaebeom.

 

 _God, he was so turned on._ "God yes, oh just like that," Jaebeom murmured. He could feel the stroke of his fingers, the glide of his lips _oh god yes fuck..._ "Oh god oh god, that is so good." Hot breath against his skin as heat unfurled in his stomach; naked skin against naked skin; the feel of his dick hot and hard and aching to be touched; he heard the ghost of his lover's laugh in his ear, teasing as he moved his head down the line of his throat, his chest, his abs until _oh shit yes_ those were lips against his cock. Oh god, yes he could feel his cock being engulfed in that heat.... and his hips bucked up, his mouth open and his breath coming hard and rapid. His cock was being stroked and it was tight and firm and the rhythm grew faster and faster and he was suddenly flying, soaring as he came hard, ribbons of cum over his fingers and tears in his eyes as he came crying his lover's name out into the empty room...

"Jinyoungie!"

Jaebeom lay there, breathing hard after he had stroked himself to completion.

He turned onto his side and cried. He missed him.

 

* * * * *

 

Jaebeom smacked the floor with his palm. He felt it reverberate up his arm. _Fuck that hurt._ But it reminded him that he was alive. His cheek was resting against the coolness of the floor.

"My ex told me he no longer loved me. Actually what he said was I don't love you anymore. I didn't know what to do with that. I thought it was me; that it was my fault." The words were croaked out, from a throat hoarse from shouting and crying out, from a body too weak with spent emotion and a lot of alcohol.

He smacked the floor again. "How dare you walk out after all this time only to say something like that? Who the fuck leaves you with 'I don't love you anymore?' Fuck that. Are you _fucking_ kidding me?"

Then he cried. He could feel the fat tears rolling down his face and he just let them. _Screw them. They can fall. Fuck it. I just want my life back. The way it was. Fuck you Park Jinyoung. And fuck you for being in my fucking wanking fantasy. Fuck you fuck you fuck you._

"Nope. I am not going to dwell on that. No I'm not. That's on Jinyoung. Not on me. I didn't fall out of love. I still loved the fucker right up… " _Until he tore my heart out._ He sobbed, letting the tears fall, uncaring of the puddle that was pooling beneath his face.

"Jaebeom?"

He stopped mid-cry and looked up blearily. "Oh, h-hey, J-J-Jin. Come sit down with me. I have alcohol. Come join me."

He heard a sigh and felt the other man come sit down with him and pull him to a sitting position. "Hey Jaebeomie, you need to stop this."

"Stop what, Jin?" He felt great. The alcohol in his system was making lots of painful things go beautifully numb and it was great. "I'm fine!"

"No you're not. You're drunk off your face and it's because of that fuckwit who decided to leave you."

"No, he's beautiful. He's my Jinyoungie!" Jaebeom declared. Then he remembered. He pouted. "Oh wait, no, he's not mine anymore." Jaebeom felt the walls moving as he slowly turned his head towards his friend. "He's not mine now, because he stopped loving me. Did you know that? He stopped loving me. What is it about me that he stopped loving? What is so bad about me that he left me? Huh, Jin?"

"There isn't anything wrong with you, Jaebeom. Jinyoung is a dumbass who didn't know how good he had it."

Jaebeom gave a drunk scoff. "It was so good, he left, Jin. So good he didn't even tell me until he was packed and ready to leave."

He stared at his hands draped on his knees. "He packed in one day, Jin. One day. Do you know how much planning that must have taken? We talked that morning about going away that weekend with you and some of the other guys and then he packed. He packed up his portion of our life in one day. What does that say about us? About him? About me?"

"It says he had thought it out before and often, Jaebeomie. There was nothing you could have said or done."

He huffed at Jin's answer. It was a good answer Jaebeom felt. "Good answer, Jin." He made a clumsy attempt at making a thumbs up sign with his hand, but it wouldn't cooperate. He looked at this thumb wondering what was going on with it. It kept moving. There were three of them, no, wait, one, no, yeah okay one. He smiled beatifically as he finally got his thumb right and made the sign to Jin. "I did it! See, good job, Jin!"

"That's good, Jaebeom." There was a deep sigh from his friend. It made him feel sad.

"What's wrong, Jin? Why you sad?"

"Nothing Jaebeom. It's just I don't like seeing you like this. You're so sad."

"I'm not Jin! See!" He tried to crack a smile but the dried out tears on his cheeks made the skin hurt and it reminded him that he'd been crying and then the reason why. The pain exploded in his chest and he whined, pulling his knees further up into his chest. Then the tears started to fall and he could feel them once again falling down his cheeks, dripping off his chin and onto his jeans, slowly seeping in until he could feel his tears against his skin. He sobbed anew, the wetness only serving to remind me of how alone he felt and how Jinyoungie was not here to dry his tears and how lonely he was now.

"Damn him to hell. _Argh..._ Why'd you have to go and leave? Why'd you leave me behind? Was I not good enough for you anymore? I can't even fucking wank without your fucking face being there. Fuck _this_!"

He felt the anger rise again and he threw his head back against the wall, relishing the pain because it stopped the pain in his chest. Jaebeom stayed there, his head leaned back, face to the ceiling. "Fuck balls. When will it stop hurting?"

"Your head or your heart?"

The throbbing pain in his head was growing and Jaebeom semi-regretted hitting his head now. Drunk or not, that shit was going to smart tomorrow. "Both. The fucker screwed with both and I'm too fucking drunk to care right now."

He could hear his own voice; his voice was plaintive and small. He hated feeling so small like he was too big for his own skin. He curled even further into himself. He felt cold - he couldn't get warm. He felt Jin hold him. It helped a little bit. The band around his chest loosened and the breathing seemed a little easier.

"I don't know Jaebeom, I just know it gets easier with time." Jin's voice, when it came, sounded so far away to Jaebeom, even though he was lying on the older man's chest, like he was hearing it through water. It was disconcerting. It felt as if he was removed from everyone and life and was existing on another plane; another dimension. Every now and again, the blurring of noise would disappear and he would hear with clarity again, but with the clarity came the pain. Jaebeom drew in a sharp breath at the pain that seemed to come sharply whenever it felt like. He was really starting to hate that feeling.

"I want to be able to breathe, Jin. I want to be able to take a breath and not have it disable me with the sharpness of the pain in my chest."

"Why do you never say anything?" The voice was soft above him. "Jaebeom? I know you're not sleeping. Why don't you ever tell us how much pain you're in?"

"I don't fucking know." Jaebeom took a shaky breath, his cheek resting on the older man's chest, staring numbly at the photo in his hand.

Time had passed achingly slow after Jinyoung left. Jaebeom had found himself having bad days and worse days. He felt bleak, and empty. Jinyoung taking all of their life and leaving him with the tattered remnants. He would take to drinking but then with the drinking came the crying and with the crying came the need to purge his thoughts to anyone and everyone. He felt empty and angry. But occasionally he would have moments where it felt normal, and he could breathe, and he could function. Like working, or going to the gym. But then he would come home and it would be back to bleak, emptiness and nothingness, and all Jaebeom could do was get angry. Immensely angry. He would find himself throwing things, punching things. He would himself drinking a lot. And with drinking came crying. And the outpouring of his soul over the phone to his friends.

Tonight it seemed was no exception.

Made worse with the stupid find of trying to get himself off and finding he could only think of his ex-lover, his ex-fucker of a boyfriend. And he came. That - to Jaebeom - was the worst part of it all; that he came to the imagined image and ghost like feels of Jinyoung-fuckface-heartbreaker extraordinaire.

He drunkenly called Seokjin in the hopes to keep his sanity by the end of the liquor bottle. Luckily for him, Seokjin dropped everything to come around as soon as he heard from Jaebeom and let him rant and talk and cry and drink, then cry and rave some more while Jaebeom got angry at the memories of his life with Jinyoung - or as Jaebeom now called him 'that fucker.' And the tiny kitchen of what used to be their apartment, and was now only his, bore the brunt of his anger.

Then as anger gave way to frustration and repressed emotions, Jaebeom gave way to angry tears, sobbed and cried some more until Seokjin pulled him into his arms and held him until he could breathe again.

Then he drank some more.

And then he would try to quash it all down ruthlessly. Never really that successful in practice. It would all rise and bubble up until he exploded again.

"You okay there, Bummie?"

"Yeah, hyung, I'm doing _great_."

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Lim Jaebeom."

"Sarcasm is the highest form of intelligence too, hyung."

Jaebeom leaned heavily into Jin, feeling comfort in the hold as the older man pulled Jaebeom into his chest and held him there. Jaebeom briefly acknowledged the squeeze on his shoulders. He sunk in, feeling the arms wrap themselves around him, needing the comfort and care the other offered. He was very drunk. And very over it all. Emotionally spent.

"Thank you for acting like you cared, Jinyoungie-you-fucker! It was nice to know that I was the only one. Fucker. Now stay the hell out of my fucking wanking fantasies."

"You have to admit, your ex did have a very fine ass. Apple bottom and round like peach. Firm too."

"Shut the fuck up, Jin. I don't need reminding."  

Jaebeom was feeling very pissed off and bitter.

He had thought they had it all, the idyllic life, the great high school romance that lasted through the ages. And then to find out that Jinyoung had just watched him fall and walked away, there was a bitterness left in his mouth, knowing that Jinyoung had left them, their relationship before him. The apartment was so quiet nowadays and Jaebeom couldn't get used to it. He had always thought that he would have Jinyoung forever, that they would grow old and do stupid shit together. He was everything that Jaebeom could have ever hoped for and now he was gone.

And the stupid thing is he had never realised just how much noise Jinyoung added until it wasn't there any longer. The sound of turning pages as they sat reading; the soft hum of melodies as the younger would cook; the soft padding of his slippers down the hallway - it was all noticeably absent and it made his heart hurt.

What was worse were the other little things - things that you wouldn't think about until after they were gone. A touch of Jinyoung's hand on his shoulder as he walked past; Jaebeom touching Jinyoung's ass as he skirted past to get to the bathroom, the wardrobe or the fridge - dependent on the room they were in; a brief hug as they got up off the couch to head to bed; the touch of their pinkies as they sat reading in bed, but most of all, it was the resting on his leg on top of Jinyoung while they lay in bed. It was that one connection between the two of them as they drifted off to sleep - one on his back, the other on his front. It was all those things that Jaebeom missed the most.

He cursed at the memories and while he hated them, he loved them at the same time.

He lay there, listening to Jin breathing, and he couldn't help but compare it to Jinyoung's. He cursed inwardly, hating these kind of comparisons. He wanted to get to the day that he wouldn't make these comparisons any longer. He sighed heavily.

It was warm in the apartment and the air slowly circulated around them. He felt the brush of warm air against the skin on his bare arms. It made him shiver.

The older man's arms tightened in response for which Jaebeom was grateful. The comfort found in the older man's hold removed some of the pain he was feeling and was welcomed -- no matter how fleeting the comfort. It seemed to him that everything in his body hurt; his throat hurt from crying, his eyes too, and his heart hurt especially bad. But the worst feeling of them all -- it seemed that there was something tight in his chest, an endless agony that hadn't left since Jinyoung told him he was leaving him.

"When will it stop hurting?" he repeated numbly. "I know, I know, you don't fucking know." Jaebeom took another shaky breath and stared at the photo still clutched in his hand. His fingers brushed across the two-dimensional image of the face that had been seared into his brain everyday for the past ten years upon waking and before sleeping. He hadn't known what was going on behind this face.

Jaebeom mentally kicked himself.

He had never realised that Jinyoung was having a hard time. He wanted to know what went wrong. How did he lose the love of his life? Jinyoung had walked away without any further words, and hadn't been heard from since. Jaebeom's pride had stopped him from sending him messages or calling him, even though he had written out many messages only to delete them before sending. Some days he wanted to hear Jinyoung's voice so badly, and other days he swore that he never wanted to hear from that man ever again.

He continued to look down at the photo in his hand; the smiling face of the man he had thought made the sun rise and for whom the sun set for over a decade. The tears welled in his eyes and he choked as he spoke to the image. “I don't know... I'm sorry. I wish… I didn't… I don't mean to rant and say the same thing over again. _Shit!_ It's just -- God, why does it hurt so much to talk about it?” His chin jutted out in anger and frustration.

He saw the hand as it crossed his blurry vision reaching across and taking the photo from Jaebeom's hand. He watched numbly as the photo was put it face down on the floor, next to the many empty bottles of alcohol. He felt so drained, so tired. The endless crying was getting to him. He mumbled, "I'm really fucking sorry."

Their apartment held too many memories. He wanted to not be here. How was it fair that Jinyoung got to leave and here he was stuck with their memories?

“Not as sorry as me," Seokjin muttered darkly. "I'm sorry you hurt, Jaebeom. But I really wish you would move on. He doesn't deserve this… this mourning. He's a bit of a dickhead really.”

Jaebeom felt too weak to protest. “Yeah I get where you're coming from. I know. I’m sorry, Jin,” he mumbled. Jaebeom turned to look up at his friend. "Am I being really pathetic?"

"Do you want me to answer that as your friend or as a nice person?"

Can he handle Jin's version of answering like a 'friend'? He knew that Jin tended to be very blunt and yet at times, he was the softest of all of their friends when it came to dealing with emotions. He pursed his lips. "How about we try for nice, for once?"

Jin laughed softly and shook his head. "I don't have that in me, Jaebeom."

"Fine. Let's go for friend then."

"Great. You're a fucking idiot. The dimwit didn't deserve you."

Jaebeom softly laughed and sighed at SeokJin's biting tone. "Thanks. Look, Jin, I know you hate him right now, but you were his friend too you know."

"True, but you don't do shit things like tell your loved ones you don't love them anymore."

"Hey! I've gotten over that. You need to build a bridge too."

"Sure you're over it. That's why you're sitting on your floor staring at his photo and drinking yourself to numbness."

Truth. Jaebeom couldn't hide from that. Unfortunately he knew that Jin was right. Those things told his best friend that he was not ok and that he hadn't gotten past this. He was still angry, still hurt. He would still punch Jinyoung as much as he probably would also pull the same man into a tight hug and kiss the living daylights out of him. Okay, so he's not over it. But he wasn't about to show Jin that. Nevermind that he had spent the last few hours showing him how angry he still was. The chaos in the kitchen had shown Jin just how angry Jaebeom still was. He tried to show he was fine and waved a hand airily at Jin. "Eh… trifles."

"And you're ignoring the facts." Jin's tone was sharp but firm.

He winced, anticipating what harsh truths his friend was going to lay on him. "What facts?"

"That you aren't over it. That you are finding solace in the bottom of a bottle. That poor defenceless kitchen. All of this is proof that you are not okay. And -- Jaebeom, no matter what you do, think or say, Jinyoung is never going to come waltzing back through the door wanting you back. And even if he did, you wouldn't want him back. And even if you did, I'd punch him and then drag you away until you came to your senses."

Ouch. Harsh. But all true. "Well, huh." Jaebeom was a bit stunned by Jin's insight. "What if…" Jaebeom started then stopped, afraid of the answer… _What if Jinyoung wants me back? What then?_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope your heart is okay! My poor beta reader was heartbroken with Jaebeom. Jaebeom is recovering slowly. I guess we couldn't expect him to be fixed straightaway and get over a ten year relationship just like that. It's gradual steps. 
> 
> But yeah, what if Jinyoung wants him back - would Jaebeom take him back? Will Jin tell him what he really thinks?
> 
> Leave your comments and thoughts below and let's talk about this heart broken boy.


	6. The Restless Quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd - all mistakes are my own. Oh, and this here contains minor smut.

* * *

"Wang Jackson!" Mark strode toward the gym office calling out for Jackson, bypassing all the gym members out in the main gym. Receiving no answer from the inner sanctum, he poked his head inquiringly around the door, his eyes searching for his friend, "Gaga?"

"Oh hey! Yien!... Mark! Glad you made it!" Jackson swiveled in his seat to greet him before turning back to his screen, continuing to punch the keys on the keyboard as words streamed out of his mouth as he talked at Mark. "Pull up a chair and I'll be with you as soon as get these hours in or these guys won't get paid! Then there'll be hell to pay! Ha!" He threw his head back, cackling for a moment at his own joke before punching in more things on the keyboard. "Yeah, sorry that we had to make it at the end of the day; things got a bit hectic around here. But hey, that's work, right?"

Mark made moue and shrugged in agreement before perching himself on a nearby desk.

"Yeah, sorry, I was going a bit crazy in my place so I thought why not come down and talk to you since you have been bugging me about coming down for the past few days anyway."

"Thanks, Yien. You know how to make me feel good about myself."

Mark doubled over as he gave a squawk of laughter. "You have no issues with self-confidence, Jackson. Now hurry up and finish up what you're doing so we can get down to the stuff you want to talk about. It's the contracts and stuff you've landed right?"

Jackson stopped momentarily, looking at Mark in amazement. "How'd you know?"

"Because you've done nothing but talk about these deals you made, and how they are going to amazing, and everyone has to wait see, but they will be amazing."

Jackson laughed deprecatingly, "Well they will be amazing - when I can get them off the ground so to speak."

"You will, Jackson." Mark reassured him confidently. "You will."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. Now do what you do best and be quiet so I can finish this up."

Mark chuckled quietly, but left him to it. Having owned his own companies he knew all too well how that went, and he quietly made his way over to the furthest office chair from the door. (Mark hated having his back to the door. Not entirely sure why that was; he just knew that he preferred seeing who came through the door first before they saw him.)

Seating himself down again, he dragged his fingers absently along the armrest of the chair, waiting for Jackson to finish payroll so they could start discussions. Mark had a sense that he knew what it was that Jackson wanted to talk about - working with him. To be honest, he wanted to discuss it with him too. When he had invested in Jackson's company many years, the two of them had discussed what roles he might play in the future, and if he ever sold his main company or should he get bored with 'retirement.' And Mark felt that that time was now. He was bored. Selling his baby, his real-everything-him company had been a great opportunity - sure - especially in a financial sense. He still felt he had taken the right step in doing so, but he also knew he was too young to really step away from the working world, and none of the other investments he had needed him. However, he was too full of ideas, and life, and he needed to be doing _something_. Especially since he was still single and had no current obligations; again, something that also needed rectifying. Mark was hoping that going on the date with Choi Youngjae might be a step into solving that latter issue. At least, Mark hoped so.  

As he waited, hands fidgeting with anything and everything in reach, his eyes searched aimlessly around the room. He noted the clean desk and well-managed office; a far cry from Jackson's personal space where he seemed to hoard and clutter anything and everything of sentimental value. Mark inwardly snorted - he remembered being at college and having to deal with Jackson's hoarding ways. (Jackson had taken to sleeping in the living room because he had kept almost every assignment and gifts given to him in his room and it was overflowing. Mark eventually helped him sort everything out so the boy could sleep in his own bed again.)

He jiggled his leg absently, lost in thoughts, nervous energy flowing through him as usual.

"Tuan Yien, stop it. You'll jiggle all the good luck out of your body," Jackson groused, eyes still intent and focused on his computer screen.

On auto-reflex from years of being chastised for the exact same thing made Mark stopped moving his leg. He laughed at this. "God, how many times have I heard that over the years? Yes, Gaga. I know - mustn't shake the luck out." He laughed again as he was reminded of so many mothers admonishing him for years about his leg shaking.

"Ha! Too many! I swear so many noonas and ahjummas were going to hit you with all your leg jiggling and finger tapping!" Jackson threw him a beatific smile in response before again concentrating on his task.

Mark wore a big grin, recalling many moments in their shared history. He grinned, happily watching the other man, allowing the memories flitter through his mind. He loved spending time with Jackson. It was always good; he was never bored. Jackson could be quiet as a mouse, or he could be loud as fireworks display. Mark never knew what he was going to get but it was usually just what he needed. Jackson was pretty intuitive like that. He may be crazy to some people, but Jackson Wang had a heart of gold and Mark was pretty thankful for that. He was hoping for some of that much needed intuition today - he was going a bit stir crazy.

Mark leaned back in his seat, something loosening in his chest. He wasn't sure what was wrong with him. He had been restless since the early hours of the morning, pacing his apartment, and he would find himself watching TV only to get up again to walk into the kitchen looking for God only knows what. This morning the desire to remove whatever was crawling under his skin was intense. He had thought that with the anticipation of a date with Youngjae on Thursday would calm the desire to flee, to run, to be anywhere else but here. But the crawling feeling under his skin continued and even the shower after the run wasn't enough to calm him. He wanted to fly - to get away; fly, to go anywhere. He'd even gone so far as to look up flights to the nearest, cheapest destination, but held himself off.

"Mark?" He looked up to find Jackson staring at him. "You okay?"

Mark let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. "Gaga," he began, then stopped. "You have work to do."

"Markie… I can stop for a moment. If you want more time, then I'll need to finish up first though and then we can talk shortly."

Mark chewed his lip in thought. "Yes, I think we need to talk."

Jackson threw him a small smile. "Let me finish this. Two ticks and I will be right with you. Ok? Hang on, just about there."

Grunting quietly in acquiesce, Mark turned to observe the other man, taking in the intent look on the younger man's face as he filled in all the necessary boxes for paying his staff. He admired Jackson's passion and his unrelenting way of pushing himself to better life for himself and the people around him. His idea of networking to bring about cohesiveness into the world around him was an admirable trait.

Jackson was a loud man for all intents and purposes and because of it Mark knew he was often misunderstood. But Jackson threw himself into life. He would work and play hard - always had done and Mark was envious of Jackson's unwavering focus on getting ahead.

"A-ha!" Jackson crowed from the other side of the room and spun around on his chair, like a kid with his arms in the air. "Yes! It's done. Now no more dreading people wondering if they got paid or not. All sorted. God, I love electronic pay systems."

"Jackson, you'll get dizzy," Mark warned.

The other boy stopped, broad smile on his face, lighting up his face. It held Mark, briefly, in mesmerisation. It still sometimes threw Mark just how good looking, how handsome his friend was. Mark could appreciate how charmingly handsome the face of his boyhood friend was. It had come useful a number of times when he needed a wingman. But sometimes, Jackson's face would come so alive that it caught you unawares, almost blinding you and that was when Mark would stop and stare at him in wonder.

Jackson shuffled his chair towards Mark, breaking the elder's gaze. "Hey so I was thinking… you know how I have been working on working with some hotel gyms? Well it looks like i have the opportunity to do it across of the hotel chains. It's been one of my ongoing projects now and I think that we may have been able to break into the market after one of their other contractors pulled out."

Mark smiled, genuinely pleased. "That's great, Jackson. Congratulations." Mark was excited for the other guy. "You've worked hard to build up this business and look, it's finally starting to pay itself off!"

Jackson smiled at the older man, happiness radiating on his face. "Thanks, Mark."

Back at school Jackson had been the guy who had a big social network, knowing everyone and always making friends. He also had drive and ambition and would hard to get the good marks, the high scores, and he always had a goal in mind. He was good at that. Mark was always the guy who had a small group of friends and while he was open with them, he wasn't overly open to people he didn't know. He was happy and content to work as equally hard as Jackson, but he had never had the same increasing drive and ambition the other man had. He never resented Jackson or himself for who they were; he accepted that they were different and each of them gave something different to their relationship. It was something that carried on through the years. Mark knew he was lucky to have something so unique.

"I was thinking about going over some of the ideas and contracts I've landed if you don't mind?"

"Sure! Of course."

"But first…" Jackson put his elbow on the desk and placed his chin on his hand. "...what's the deal with you, Markiepooh?"

Mark rolled his eyes. "Really, Gaga?"

Jackson went "Ahhh! Ok, ok, stop. Serious face now." He drew a breath, then opened his eyes to look at Mark with a straight face. Then he broke it by laughing once more. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Sorry." He tried again, this he was just relaxed and friendly - something Mark was familiar with. "You okay, Mark? You look... tense. What's going on with you?"

Mark pursed his lips, contemplating how deep he wanted to go with this. "I don't know, Jackson. It's been a weird day. I-I-I… I don't know how to explain it. It was just weird. I feel like I want to go someplace, just like go, just leave, you know?I just want to leave. Get away, go away, not just be staring at the same apartment walls and be like out exploring, doing things or something? I want to go away for awhile, like a long while. I don't know. I feel so restless, so out of sorts.

"There's more, isn't there?" Jackson's eyes narrowed at Mark as he peered at the older man's face. "I know you; you have never been satisfied with sitting around. A bit like me."

"Not exactly like you Jackson. I mean I do things, but I don't have that same drive that you do."

"You do." His eyes were serious as he looked at Mark and it surprised Mark by how serious Jackson was taking this.

He shook his head in reply.

"But you do Mark," the other boy insisted, his voice quiet but firm. "You just show it in an entirely different way." He waved a hand in front of him as Mark went to object. "Listen - listen to me. I have watched you over the years I know what you're like. You show this outward thing of being chill and relaxed, but inside you are always so cautious - so afraid of making too many mistakes. You're also a perfectionist, but you allow yourself to think too far ahead and you get scared about the ramifications of what might happen if you do this thing now, or that thing then, so you don't end up doing anything at all. You've wanted to do things to please other people but occasionally you have to let yourself do the things you want to, too." He leaned forward getting into Mark's space. "You are happiest when you are doing the things you want, Mark. You know that."

Mark looked the younger man for a moment. "Then what do I want Jackson?"

Jackson's face was serious as he replied, "You want to be me." Then he grinned before getting serious again. "Aiiiii… No, not really. But you want to do more, be more, but you need a way to find it."

Mark looked at the other man carefully. "I'm not you, Gaga," he said softly. "I don't go ahead and do it just because I think I can."

"But you can and you have, Yien. You started letting go the minute you sold that company you built up, Markie. As a famous book once said Feel the Fear and do it Anyway. You did it once. Just do it again."

Mark rocked back in his chair, making a hmm noise in his throat. He quietly confided, "I just about booked a ticket to someplace today."

Jackson's eyebrows rose to his hairline. "It didn't happen to be Japan, did it?"

"How'd you know?" asked Mark in surprise.

Jackson threw him that look. "You love that place Mark. You always have. You find pieces of you there every time you visited."

Mark fingered the edge of the desk as he thought about his morning earlier.  His thoughts had been full of what ifs, where for, and do I's. It had been exhilarating, foreboding, heartbreaking and full of unresolved thoughts and wishes. He'd wanted someone to help him sort through it all. He wanted someone… is this why you want a partner? Mark thought about it for a moment. The desire to have someone else to talk to for once had been so strong that he had driven himself out of his own house to come into the gym to find Jackson. And now Jackson helped him find some answers - not all but some.

"Mark?" He looked up to find Jackson staring at him. "You okay?" He nodded. Jackson stared at him intently for a few minutes before hmm-ing again. "If we're done talking about you and your world, " he made exaggerated round circles with his arms, "let's go over some of these, huh?"

Together, they laughed and got down to business, putting aside their personal discussions for now.

"This is the one that we looked a few months back - where we did the scope together, but what I want to show are the changes the client asked for here and here…"

As they went over plans and contracts, Mark was almost ecstatic. His brain was slowly turning to mush without anything to really make it work, and looking at all the plans, this might just what it needed. He listened to Jackson's plans and threw in some of his own ideas - the two of them melding ideas well together.  This is what Mark's brain had been starving for; a chance to discuss ideas, plan and work through business related proposals and working out how best to implement them. He was excited about how Jackson's ideas were going to pan out. This could be very good for Jackson - and for himself as silent investor. He said as much to Jackson as they finished up the last of the plans.

"Yeah, I think it's going to be great!" agreed Jackson, enthusiasm colouring his tone.

"So what's the big favour?"

Jackson didn't look at him, avoiding his eyes and Mark grew curious. He knew Jackson and he would only avoid him if it was a big ask. What was going on?

Jackson rubbed the back of his neck, his face flushing, "The thing is, Mark, one of the sites that we are looking at isn't even this country, it's overseas. That's why I asked about Japan."

"It's in Japan?" The idea of travelling back there excited him.

Jackson nodded feverishly. "Yes, and you love Japan. You know you do! And I don't know if I can spare the time to go across, but you know how important scoping is. I can do the job when it's time to put the work in and find all the contractors but right now, I'm pretty swamped. I've had a chance to look at upgrading one in Japan. It would open up the market there for us. I was hoping that you'd be able to help with this." He winced as he looked at Mark. He put his palms together pleading with Mark. "Pretty please? I know it's not exactly what your area of expertise but it's still customer liaison and scoping and you're pretty good at that."

Ah, so that was what it was. "You want me to go in place of you?" Mark knew this was good and what he needed. But he wasn't going to give in to Jackson that easily.

"Please, Markie? I will water your plants and feed your dog - if you had a dog that is - but I can drown your plants like they were my own, and I will take you for dinner, and I will make sure that you aren't bored and lonely for the rest of your life!"

"This wasn't on the cards, you know that right?"

"Well, neither was having you sell out and bumming about before retirement and look at where we are now? Mark, I am super desperate. I love you, you wild impetuous crazy man and I would love you more if you do this for me, for us."

"Jackson…"

"Don't make me beg. You know i'll do it. I'm like at your feet. And it's like my worst angle."

Mark gave him a look. Jackson quickly changed tack.

"Ok I can be at your feet Is that what you want? For me to beg like a dog at your feet? Cos i can do that you know. I will!"

Mark shook his head slowly. "So dramatic…"

"Then you'll do it? You will?! Oh thank god because like I'm stuck and no one else knows this better than you do since you helped plan it and implement the whole business plans and well it's kind of your money too so in a sense you would get to make sure your investment is paying itself off…"

"The point with an investment is that I shouldn't have to work to make it work for me, Gaga."

"Yien!" Jackson got down to walk on his knees to him, hands clasped desperately together. "Please please please I beg you to do this! You love Japan. You know you do. Markiepooh…. please?"

"Okay," he said finally to Jackson. "But you'll have to do this on my terms…"

Jackson pumped his arms straight up into the air, a broad smile breaking out onto his face and threatening to split into two. Mark threw him an amused look, full of bemusement and doting.

"Wang Gae, Mark Gae!" Jackson crowed before he threw his arms around the older man.

Mark struggled around the boy's arms that threatened to topple them both to the ground. "See… that would be one of my terms - you can't do that or I won't go."

"Shut up, Mark. You love it."

                                                                                                           * * * * *  


Mark leaned his both his hands against the tile letting the water fall onto his back. He was excited at the prospect of going to Japan and escaping this place. A change of scenery is what he wanted and needed. His last trip had been shortened because of … he didn't want to dwell on that. He just knew that he wanted to go back. He always found himself at peace there and maybe this is what he really needed - a time to heal, a place to find himself, and to make the right steps to make his life good once again. The excitement stirred in him.

He groaned at the thought of having to find and wear his suits again. Japanese businessmen expected some level of decorum when doing business and he knew that turning up in jeans or casual pants wasn't really the right sort of tone to set from the outset.

God, when was the last time he'd worn any of his suits?

The water rained on the back of his neck and felt so good against his heated skin. He stayed like that for some time - allowing the water to soothe him. He wished for a moment for someone to share his thoughts and his shower with him. He allowed himself the luxury of letting his thoughts wander, thinking about having someone with him - here, now.

His hand trailed across his chest, feeling his nipples puckering up as the pads of his fingertips brushed purposefully against them. He bit his lip, and leaned his head back, feeling the water fall over his head as he slid his hand down against his stomach, imagining someone else's hand touching him. He hissed as his finger slid over his hard erect cock, feeling the pressure in his dick grow as his fingers wrapped themselves around him. He tugged his lower lip into his mouth, sucking on it, and swallowing hard. _Fuck yes._

The water beat down like a water on a drum and he could hear the rhythm it was making against his skin. He felt a shudder go through him as he stroked himself, slowly at first the a little faster. He could hear his own gasps and moans, as his fingers moved along his length, twisting his wrist with a flick at the end before gliding back down to the base. Fuck it felt good. It felt fucking incredible. He let out a hiss as he stroked himself a little faster, his hips moving with his hand. He grabbed the shower head with one hand, using it to brace himself as he stroked his dick, letting his fantasies come to mind. A hand stroking him around his balls, a hand covering his as he stroked himself, a body sliding wetly against his, rolling up and thrusting against his front, a cock sliding alongside his, creating friction. Fuck.

The beating of the water against his skin set up a rhythm that flowed through his body.  His breath was coming in shallow as his fingers slid along his shaft. Fuck yes - oh god. He pulled all the way to the top before sliding back down slowly adding a twist and letting out a hiss as his hips jerked at the feeling. Fuck.

He shuddered as he came hard. Ropes of cum wrapping around his fingers, his heart thudding against his chest, and his head falling forward, stomach tightly clenched as his body bowed through his orgasm. Fuck.

He leaned his head forward, hot breath coming fast and shallow as he slowly recovered. Then hot tears scalded his face, mixing with the hot water as it sluiced down, washing away his cum and Mark felt the loneliness of his world. Japan couldn't come soon enough for him.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow this didn't end the way I had anticipated it ending. I'm not entirely sure what happened but Mark is like an onion with many layers and we are slowly unwrapping him, I guess. What did you think?


	7. Finding You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When finding yourself is the only option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again - I apologise for having two Youngjaes in this story. This is a Jaebeom-centric chapter so it's Yoo Youngjae from BAP, not Choi Youngjae of GOT7.
> 
> Also again unbeta'd. All mistakes are my own.

* * *

 

_What if Jinyoung wants me back? What then?_

Ever since his discussions with Seokjin, Jaebeom couldn't stop thinking about what he would do if Jinyoung wanted him back. Part of him wanted it to happen - he knew that in a way he yearned for a rewind to go back to that time before they split - before Jinyoung broke his heart.

He moved restlessly as he lay across Youngjae's lap. Jaebeom wanted to ask the other man but in a way, he was too scared of what Youngjae might answer with. What if his friend says all the things that Jaebeom knows he should do in that eventuality, and what Jaebeom knows in his heart of hearts he should do, but what if… it's not what his heart wants to do? Like maybe, perhaps, _to take him back._

Apparently, though, Youngjae could hear his unspoken thoughts because Youngjae choked out adamantly, "Nope. No. Never. How many languages do you want me to say 'no' in? Don't even think it, Jaebeom. You aren't an idiot. Well, you might be, but that's why you have people like me and Brain and many many others. Because you're an idiot in denial. And we all know that idiots shouldn't be trusted. Especially when the heart is involved and everything comes out in moron. Just… don't do it, 'Beom. Please..."

Jaebeom heard a sound above him, at the same time, feeling Youngjae looking at him. He glanced up to be somewhat startled for the other one's face was wet with tears. "Shhh…." He patted Youngjae on the arm. "Hey, don't cry Youngjae. We aren't supposed to both be crying drunks. Jin will really disappointed in us if he ever found us like this." The other man sniffed and gave him a watery smile. It made Jaebeom felt bad. The man who cried for him and with him. Jaebeom felt guilty. Youngjae was here once again, cleaning up after Jaebeom. He felt sorry for the other man. He shouldn't have to clean up after the mess that Jinyoung left behind.

He shouldn't _have_ to do this. Neither should Seokjin. Or his parents. Or anyone else for that matter.

But Jaebeom was grateful that they did.

Youngjae had confronted Jinyoung after he found out about the split and it was Youngjae who had chosen Jaebeom over the other man.

_Such a terribly good friend. What an excellent friend. What a friend to get drunk with._

It was all so messy; so painful.

Friends were divided.

Family was hurt.

Holidays were ruined.

It went out in ever increasing circles; a droplet in the water of life, radiating out and creating larger and larger waves.

This is why he had never wanted to do relationships. He never wanted to hurt like this. He never wanted to hurt other people like this. He never planned for relationships - Jinyoung had just wormed his way in and simply never left.

Well until the day he did. And when Jinyoung walked away - he left pain and devastation behind.

 _This_ is what made recovery in a breakup hard. All the shit left behind.

"You know," he said, almost conversationally, hoping to lighten the other man's mood. "Luckily the fucker and I didn't have kids. Aside from the friends that he and I each got to keep. You're really fucking lucky I kept you."

The other man gave a gasping sort of laugh. "You're so lucky; you get to keep me in the divorce. _Papa_ Jaebeom."

"Stop it," Jaebeom rasped out. "I tried to give you to the fucker, but he didn't want you either."

"Well," Youngjae softly moved Jaebeom's hair off his face, "Jinyoung clearly has no taste."

Jaebeom was taken aback at the softness and he choked back a sob at the gentleness in Youngjae's actions.

It was this care that made the healing worth it. That people cared enough to allow him to fall apart and patch him up - a little like Kintsugi. This man, Yoo Youngjae cared for him. Kim Seokjin cared for him. His parents cared for him. People cared. He choked back the tears that had welled at the thought. Youngjae reached forward to hold Jaebeom’s hand, the other hand brushing the remnants of tears from Jaebeom's cheeks.

The other man spoke slowly to Jaebeom, his fingers still playing with the older boy's hair, smoothing it, gently stroking it as if the older was a child, "I figured that it was Jinyoung's thing. That he was the one that thought he stopped loving you. You - you've never stopped loving him. Over it or not, you are still drinking yourself stupid and over some guy who dumped your ass and you need to stop hiding. You need to do this for you, Jaebeom."

Jaebeom sighed, his tone resigned, the anger pushed down to safe levels again. "I know. But you know what? Even after all this, I think I will still love him because all our memories; all our shared experiences? All of that won't change - they will still be things that we lived through together, shared together and in that instance, we loved one another. If he stopped loving me, then he made the conscious choice to do so and I can't stop him, but I won't stop loving the him that I had."

He couldn't explain what it was - it was just how he felt; his own feelings. He wanted to remember his memories of their life together and not tarnish them with harsh words and bad feelings. He wanted to be able to pull them to look at them, see them for how beautiful those moments were, and put them away again knowing that he was once loved, in love, and that he loved in return.

"Yeah. Okay. That's… that's a novel way of looking at things, Lim Jaebeom. I would have hated him. In fact, I do. He's hurting you. But I understand what you are saying. I still hate him though."

Jaebeom sighed, fingers of one hand playing restlessly with the label on a bottle nearby. "I did too for a while. Hate him, that is. Like when he first told me. And all through that night after he finished moving his stuff out. And everyday, I would feel it come up, you know, but it's easier now. To hate him a little less, do you understand?" Jaebeom bit his lip in sorrow and pain. "I always thought that we'd grow old together, you know? That because we'd found each other from a young age, that we were lucky - you know?" He took another deep breath and let it out slowly. "But the thing is, I can't hold onto someone that doesn't want to be held on to. I can hold onto the memories, but I can't... I can't live there."

He didn't want to tell Youngjae that when he closed his eyes, Jinyoung was still at his side. That his breath and his love were enveloped around him, his body wrapped tightly against his. Jaebeom knew Jinyoung had never wanted to hurt Jaebeom. Ever. But the older boy had a savage side when he lashed out and the way he left his boyfriend of ten years - that was harsh in Jaebeom's books. Even for Jinyoung. But he must have felt trapped and for that, Jaebeom was sorry. He wished he could still hold him tightly just one more time.

_For me, it's still only you. But I need to let you go._

He blinked away more tears. Goddammit - will his eyes ever stop leaking?

Jaebeom looked at Youngjae. He looked at their linked hands. _God, he knew he was so lucky that he had friends like this._ "Thanks, man," he said softly.

He felt Youngjae's grip tighten. "No problem. Any time."

Jaebeom gave a choked laugh and Youngjae gave him a wry smile.

"You should always laugh, Jaebeom. You try so hard to be the man - the man's man. But there's a time to be soft and a time to be real. Find someone who loves you when you laugh."

"You sound all cheese and romance."

"Yeah, well, I'm good that way. I'd be a great catch for anyone."

Jaebeom smiled. "Now why couldn't it be you I fell for all those years ago?"

"Because I'm too good for you. And you know it. As Jin says I'm worldwide handsome."

Jaebeom snorted and grinned at his friend. "Ah, no I get it. You're an idiot and full of yourself." He flinched and laughed as Youngjae slapped his arm in objection. "Ouch! Hey some people like that - they like arrogance!"

"Yah! Watch your mouth! Some people like me," the other man grumbled.

Feeling cheeky, Jaebeom scoffed lightly, "Name one."

"The coffee shop guy near my work. Oh and the lady at the ice cream place. Oh and hopefully the guy at the gym that I saw the other day. You know - the group you couldn't stop staring at?"

Jaebeom glared at Youngjae, all traces of Jinyoung fleeing from his mind. Suddenly irritated with Youngjae, Jaebeom couldn't help but feel a little possessive about the man who'd caught his eye the other day. Jaebeom couldn't help staring at him - he'd never seen someone quite so… pretty was the wrong term. Whatever it was, Jaebeom's eyes had followed him around the gym that morning.

Jinyoung had been pretty, but this one was... different, he was so _appealing_. Jaebeom couldn't think of another way to describe him. His hands had itched to pick up his camera and take candid photos of the man - in every manner of position. Clothed or … less clothed… ok, naked. He had wanted to see the man naked. There. He thought it. He squirmed a little at his thoughts - his body had definitely noted his interest.

And when they'd banged into him after getting changed on his way into the locker room, Jaebeom couldn't help but notice how something stirred in him, as he'd gripped the other man's shoulders for balance, and he'd wanted to hear the man's voice, but he couldn't hear his voice as he said his apology because of Youngjae's accursed ringtone of stupid bells. Jaebeom wondered what his voice would sound like.

"Jaebeom?"

"Youngjae… you leave him alone."

"What? He was _nice_. I know you're single now, but hey, I'm calling dibs on him."

"Hey!" Jaebeom felt indignation rising. _Ah hell no. That man was too good for the likes of Youngjae to corrupt him. His traitorous mind said but what about you? What about if you corrupted him?_

Youngjae whooped and hit Jaebeom's shoulder. "I'm only kidding. Jin called dibs first!" Youngjae gave a chuckle, pushed Jaebeom off his lap, and ran to the kitchen, laughing wildly as he threw at the older man, "Oh and by the way, you're going to be my wingman when I finally gets the courage to ask him out!"

Jaebeom let out a growl, pulled himself up, and gave chase.

Jaebeom never noticed how he left the subject of Jinyoung alone.

 

* * * * *

 

Jaebeom woke to blurry disorientation. The walls were white and unfamiliar. He yawned and stretched, blinking a few times as he looked around, eyes bleary. Well it certainly wasn't his apartment and the room had the distinct smell of disinfectant and fake air freshener. His phone buzzed, the screen flashing bright as an incoming call had his phone vibrating. He answered it, his brain still foggy. "...'Lo?" he murmured groggily.

"Dude, are you still fucking asleep? Open your fucking door or you better have a goddamn good excuse as to why you aren't answering the door." The voice exploded over the phone and Jaebeom winced at the loudness. He pulled the phone away and quickly checked the time. 5:00am. _Why the fuck…?_

"Huh? I-I-I'm...out of to-w-w-n," a yawn broke through, stretching the syllables as he replied, pulling himself up to sit against the headboard. "Shit. Sorry. I'm not home." He shook his head to clear it. "Who's this?"

The voice changed abruptly to be somewhat more polite. "Oh it's Youngjae -- you know -- the person you were supposed to be meeting this morning… fucker!" _Somewhat_ more polite. Jaebeom winced at the pissed off tone from his friend. Shit. Shit. Ah, _fuck_ . Jaebeom could hear footsteps in the background and assumed Youngjae must be leaving his building. _Oh goddamn -_ he felt really bad. "Ah, fuck, man - I'm so sorry." Belatedly, Jaebeom remembered that he'd said yes to helping his friend out and being his wingman at the gym. _Damn._ He shuffled himself to slouch more against the headboard, trapping the phone between his ear and shoulder. "Look, Youngjae… Brain… I am so sorry."

"Don't you 'Brain' me. Only friends are allowed to use my nickname. You are no longer my friend, you dickwad. And what do you mean you're away?" Youngjae's voice sounded echo-y. _Must be in the stairwell._ "You were supposed to be meeting me this morning! How are you away without telling me? We were supposed to head to the gym for the workout remember? You were going to help me ask that guy out?" His voice was rising with every point he made.

Jaebeom glared at a spot on the wall. "Hey, I said stay away!" then he winced, thinking about how he had let his friend down and warning him away probably wasn't the ideal way to make it up to the guy he stood up. "Ah, hey Bra...Youngjae?" He started tentatively, his voice low with contrition. "I know. I'm sorry man. I just…" he broke off, rubbing his hand over his face. _He felt so shit right now. Fuck_. "Ah-yeah, I needed to get away. I'm so sorry. You have no idea how bad I feel right now. You know I'm normally good for that. Just… yeah. I'm sorry man."

Jaebeom felt like a really shitty friend right now. He had promised Youngjae that he would be there. Youngjae who - with Seokjin - had been his emotional rock over the past few weeks. The other man had asked for only one thing from Jaebeom and that was to help him get the confidence to ask a guy out from the gym they frequented. He felt so incredibly guilty.

He heard the long suffering sigh over the line. "It's cool. It's cool. That guy will still be there. He's been there pretty regularly lately. It's fine. Just…" He heard a car door slam and then the man's voice became softer, more gentler. "I was surprised, I guess, Jaebeom. That was all. It's not like you to take off without saying a word to anyone. I knocked on your door for like fifteen minutes. Where the hell are you by the way? Your parents' place?" Youngjae's tone was curious.

Jaebeom hesitated. He didn't know if he wanted to let anyone know where he was. But this was Youngjae - one of his oldest friends, who let JB call him Brain even after all these years and the guy who had helped him out after he'd walked around like a zombie for the first few days after Jinyoung left. The friend who had made him get stinking drunk and then held his head when he threw up in the toilet - for most of the night while raving drunkenly. Jaebeom hesitated a bit longer.

_But do I want him to know where I am?_

Jaebeom worried about what Youngjae would think about his running away. Jaebeom hadn't planned on coming here. It's just… Jaebeom hadn't been able to stand it anymore - the same walls around him, the ghost-like memories in every room. _Shit, he couldn't even sit on his own goddamn couch and relax because he half expected Jinyoung to put his head around the corner and ask him if he wanted a drink or a snack or whatever._ So he booked himself on a trip and got on a plane. It was escapism. He sighed loudly and washed his hand over his face, rubbing his eyes. After a moment, he revealed his location to the other man. "Tokyo. I'm in Tokyo."

He heard the sharp intake of breath. "Woah. Jaebeom. Tokyo, as in…?"

"Japan. Yep. Ohayou Gozaimasu. Means Good morning."

"Holy shit man. When you run, you really run."

Jaebeom sighed. "Yeah."

"Well... how was the flight?"

He laughed softly. "Shit. It was shit. I was still hung."

The answering laughter in his ear was genuine and Jaebeom relaxed, relaying his stressful journey to the Land of the Rising Sun.

He'd been genuinely surprised he hadn't thrown up or suffered too much along the journey. The airport had been manic at both ends, the flight had been full and too many people for Jaebeom to get any sort of calm to himself. And the Airport Limo Bus on his arrival had been too full of coughers and sniffers and annoying tourists. Even with his headphones on, he couldn't remove himself and relax. He'd jumped out as soon as he could at the bus terminal, standing by waiting for his bag to be unloaded, then he had paced himself quickly to the nearest cab to get to his hotel.

As he shared this all with Youngjae, he starting relaxing more, changed to speaker phone and slid back down the bed, listening to Youngjae's voice, talking away to one of the few friends he had left after the break up. He was more than grateful to this man for being there for him.

"So you got there okay then?"

"Yeah. The check-in was little troublesome - my grasp on the Japanese language is not as good as Jinyo-... it's rudimentary at best. But hey, I managed it, got my room key and finally got into the elevator."

"How do you feel now?" came the quiet query.

 _How did he feel?_ Jaebeom knew what Youngjae wanted to hear but he wasn't there yet. When the door had quietly snicked closed behind him and he'd finally stopped; shoulders finally dropping its tension… he'd taken a deep breath. And cried.

"Well, I'm a bit more cried out than when I arrived."

"Jaebeom."

"It's okay, Youngjae. I'm … I'm ok. I wanted a change and I think this will be good for me.".

"I'm sorry. I should have realised how … well... I should have…"

Jaebeom broke him off. "Hey, no worries. It's good. I'm good. I just need to get away for awhile."

"Yeah okay."

"Ok, thanks man."

"All good. You call me later. Make sure you go for a walk outside and don't just lock yourself away in the hotel room."

The call was disconnected. Jaebeom groaned. _Goddammit_. He had let a friend down. A good friend. He felt really shit about it. Well fuck, he's going to have to make it up to him when he gets back. Nothing he could do about it right now.

He lay back, looking up at the ceiling.

Jaebeom breathed deeply for the first time in … was it days? Week? Hours? Jaebeom couldn't tell anymore. He lay there. Quiet. Peaceful. A very faint sound of someone walking past his room door, but no street noise came up through the glass. Getting up, he'd crossed to the window and stared out at the city laid out below him.

_Tokyo - I am in you._

Finally he was in the city he had dreamed of.

He stared out at the city. He could smell change. This would be good. He knew it. He threw himself into clean clothes, palmed the hotel card key, his phone and wallet and headed out the door. He was going to head out. Look around. See what was out there. He wondered what he would find out there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! I didn't think Jaebeom had it in him to just up and go like that. Did you? Yes, it's a double update. It was needed because well I got excited so yeah... I have been caught up with the latest CB so have been busy checking out anything and everything to do with the GOT7 boys. Also a lot of work on at the moment so apologies for the update being a bit late.


	8. Sweetness and Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally date time and Mark and Youngjae head out together. Will they find compatibility or animosity? Are they better suited as friends or lovers?

"I got your favourite!" Mark watched as Youngjae weaved his way back to their table - two ice creams in his hands, excitement written on his handsome face. Mark smiled back at the slender man with the bright smile. It was an infectious smile and Mark could feel his face reciprocating in a wide grin.

"Thanks!" he said as he gratefully took his ice cream, waiting patiently for the other man to sit down before scooping out a bite. Mark relished the cool dessert, letting it melt on his tongue in appreciation. The younger man sat opposite him, but Mark could feel him looking at him as he went to scoop out another spoonful. Spoon halfway up to his mouth, he paused, eyes narrowing as he saw Youngjae's eyes followed the direction of the spoon. He suddenly felt somewhat self-conscious as he noticed the dark-haired man alternating staring at his mouth and the fully laden spoon. "Hey! Youngjae - eat," he directed, motioning toward the gently melting ice-cream in front of the distracted man.

Youngjae blushed at being caught, but just laughed softly; the younger boy scooping out a spoonful and put it in his mouth while meeting and holding Mark's gaze. "Mmm… delicious! Like you…"

"... " Mark squirmed at the compliment. _What the hell?_ He wasn't sure what to think.

Youngjae lifted his brows questioningly. "Too soon?"

"Um… Too much? I don't…" Mark moved uncomfortably in his seat. He scrunched up his nose, frantically trying to work out what to say. Youngjae sniggered at his expression.

"That's ok," the younger man chuckled again, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm not normally like that - it just seemed to good an opportunity to pass up. That's what I get for getting flirting advice from Jackson."

Mark laughed, relieved that it wasn't Youngjae's usual tactics. "Hey, next time, you should probably let it slide. It was not...good. Jackson's a bit on the heavy-hit them with a sledgehammer approach. He tried the 'I'm not a photographer but I can picture us together.' And the classic 'You look like my next boyfriend.'"

"They aren't bad…"

"No, Youngjae. Just no," Mark snorted with laughter. This man was really quite naive, he thought to himself.

"Noted!" Youngjae's dark eyes were full of mirth and he seemed perfectly comfortable at Mark's comment. Mark let his shoulders relax, settling into his seat and content to eat his dessert. Youngjae seemed happy enough to sit quietly and eat, not breaking the comfortable silence. Mark appreciated this. He liked this guy. Youngjae seemed to be fairly carefree and happy. And to find that the younger didn't feel the need to fill the gap with mindless chatter really appealed to the older man. It had been a long time to find someone who could sit in quiet comfortable contemplation with him.

He sat looking at Youngjae, meeting his gaze unabashedly and smiling in between bits of ice cream. "So we finally got to date night, huh?"

Youngjae rewarded him with a broad smile that lit up the slim man's face and also something within Mark's chest. "That we did."

"To be honest, I wasn't sure how we were going to get on. So thanks for the texts and just talking to me via sns. But when you texted me about ice cream and simple dates, I wasn't sure if you had talked to Bam about my preferences for nice quiet dates! And whether you were just catering to my preferences." He stabbed his spoon into his ice cream with relish, happy to be discussing this in person finally. Admittedly, Mark had trolled through all the younger man's SNS accounts, perusing all photos and posts, trying to work out what made the other man tick. So far, Mark liked what he'd seen however he wasn't about to tell the other man about the photos he'd stared at a little bit long than he should have done. It would make him sound a bit creepy. He wasn't _that_ guy. But he had been looking forward to this ever since they started texting each other.

"To be honest, I wasn't sure where this was going to take us either," revealed Youngjae, spreading his hands in a helpless fashion. "I was just hoping for the best! An ice cream date was a nice safe option in case either of us wanted to gap it and leave."

Mark leaned across the table towards the surprised boy and confided in his low voice, "It seemed that Thursday took an interminably long time to get here." He leaned back, biting his lip before shoving the spoon in his mouth and grinning around it. He meant it. It felt like a long time - probably because of both his nervousness and anticipation.

Youngjae beamed back, licking his spoon. "Were you nervous?" he asked Mark. Mark nodded. Youngjae chortled in relief. "So was I! I'm glad you were nervous too. How do people do this all the time? I swear the idea of dating was making me so nervous that I found myself walking into a room, not knowing what i was supposed to do it there!"

It was Mark's turn to laugh. "I don't know either. I swear I changed several times before I finally decided on what to wear."

Youngjae chuckled. "I showered like three times," he confessed. "It was so nerve wracking and the clock seemed to take forever to reach the appointed time I had given myself to leave the house."

Mark smirked, stirring what was left of his ice cream and peeking up at Youngjae. "Well, we got here, didn't we?"

Youngjae smiled his wide, beaming smile, his eyes crinkling up. He nodded shyly. "That we did. Did I say I was glad we kept it simple?"

Mark grinned. "An ice cream date is as simple as it gets."

They finished eating in comfortable silence, eyes meeting, and both silently amused while they ate.

"So um…" Youngjae queried, "... earlier, you said you are going away? Where?"

Mark swallowed the last of his ice cream, before answering, "Japan. For work."

Youngjae quirked a brow at the other man. "You seem happy about that. I know people who go away for work and it's like such a drag. You like Japan?" At Mark's nod, the younger felt compelled to ask, "Why do you like Japan?"

Mark thought about this for a moment, staring unseeing past Youngjae before answering the slim shouldered man slowly. "It's where I think I was happy for once in my life."

"This sounds deep."

  
Mark pursed his lips. "Not that deep."

"Are you sure?" Youngjae lifted a brow in silent challenge.

"Yes. No." Mark thought about it for a second. He corrected himself, "I don't know. I fell in love with it. I never fell out of love with it."

"Why?" Youngjae pushed gently, genuinely interested.

Mark stopped, trying to work out how to best explain what he felt about the country. He finally settled for a seemingly simple answer. "It's quiet. People leave you alone unless you approach them. They have respect for the people around them and wish to not upset anyone so they don't make a lot of noise in case it disturbs others. It's like a mutual respect for one another. I liked it for the fact I could think. I could hear myself and my thoughts and that was quite refreshing compared to here. It gets very loud at times that you can't be alone with your thoughts unless you isolate yourself. And sometimes you don't want to be alone but you still want to think. That's what Japan is for me. A place for me to think without being alone."

They were both quiet, pensive after his comment. Mark worried that Youngjae was going to run from the weird introverted guy - was he giving off the wrong vibe? He chewed his lip, lost in his concerns.

Youngjae broke the silence. "So you fell in love with a country? That's going to be hard to compete with, you know," he jested lightly. "But, I guess it could be worse. I mean, it could have been a flavour of ice cream or another man."

Blowing out a small sigh of relief, Mark gave him a careful look. "Well, ice cream flavours are pretty important, you know, " he started slowly. "You can't just give up a firm favourite because it took a lot of trial and error to get to that conclusion that it was your favourite. It would be a sure way to a broken heart, I feel." He winked at the slender man across from him. "I wouldn't try to compete if I knew it was against a favourite ice cream. I'd be sure to lose."

Youngjae guffawed. "I get the feeling you'd give the ice cream a good run for its money."

Emboldened by the other's reaction, Mark felt he could tease a little bit more. "Well you could give a country some stiff competition."

"Yes, because I'm often licked, never beaten?"

Mark roared with laughter at Youngjae's outrageous remark. "Why do I get the feeling that you are really not as innocent as Jackson and Bam think you are?" He shook his head as he chuckled.

"Because I'm not! I don't know where they get the idea I'm innocent because I'm as healthy as the next person!"

"Ha! So you have beaten it then!"

Youngjae howled, laughing hard while falling to the seat next to him, hiding his suddenly flushed face. Mark stared in surprise at the cuteness that was in front of him. Youngjae was super cute, attractive and adorable, and right now, he was the cutest thing he had ever laid eyes on and Mark found himself enjoying all of the other man's reactions. A surprising and delightful find. Youngjae was surprisingly good company. Silently, Mark filed that away for contemplation later.

After calming down to a happy relaxed state, Youngjae asked curiosity evident in his tone,"Have you fallen in love with a person rather than a country?"

Mark looked at the other man. He wanted to say yes, but he knew that wasn't true. Everytime he had thought he'd fallen in love, he realised it wasn't really love but a want to fall in love with that person, however in the end, he realised he wasn't truly in love. He compromised for the middle ground as he answered the other man truthfully. "I thought I had a few times, but in hindsight, I don't think so."

"Hmm… I thought as much."

"Hmm?"

"I like you - a lot, Mark. But I have come out of a relationship. I'm not looking to get into one straight away, but I'm also not really into having a one night stand as such. I want… connections. I want to have something deeper. I don't… I think… I'm sorry. I'm trying to explain what I feel. It's none of my business really, but I don't think I'm what you are looking for."

Mark was taken aback at his forthrightness. "Ok then. Then what am I looking for?"

"Someone that isn't me." Youngjae said self-deprecatingly, fingers plucking at the edges of his shirt, a somewhat strained smile appearing on his young face.

Mark cocked his head at slender man, taking in the hesitant way he was tugging at his sleeve. Was Youngjae perhaps a little insecure and unsure of himself? He'd just come out of a relationship (Mark felt gratified to know that he'd been right in his initial assessment) but did that previous partner ruin this young guy's heart and his ego? Was Youngjae projecting his feelings onto Mark because of what his previous partner had said to him? Gently, he spoke to him, "It's early days, Youngjae. Are you sure? We haven't even finished our first date yet. You don't even know what I like yet."

"I know. I don't know. I don't know enough about you," Youngjae admitted, a small gentle smile on his face. "Maybe I'm being presumptuous because I like you, and I'm like not very sure of myself, but I feel like you want more. I'm a little bit anxious because I'm fresh at dating again and you seem really really good, and wow, so good-looking. Really. But I feel like you want someone less- less-.... I think you want someone more free and less needy. I'm needy." He tittered, the sound seeming a little forced. His fingers plucked nervously at a napkin on the table and started to ruin the napkin within his hand.

"Are you?" Mark was genuinely curious as he observed the changes in the younger man. He really wanted to reach across and hold the younger man's hands still and give him reassurance.

"I'm… I require maintenance."

"Don't we all? I mean, aren't we all a little bit high maintenance?" Mark cocked a brow at the dark-eyed man. "And you think I'm not needy? I'd beg to differ."

"Well not needy like I need to be around that person all the time. But I want affection, and cuddles, and touch, and I need to hear the right words sometimes. I think you'd be good with actions of love without saying it. Me - I need to hear it. We wouldn't match so well."

Youngjae paused, letting the words sink it. Youngjae's eyes darted nervously around them, avoiding Mark's gaze.

Mark gave it a moment before he quietly replied, "What is it about your ex that did a real number on you, Youngjae? You seem so … skittish, like you are ready to bolt at any moment. I'm not going to destroy you. I'm not him. I may not be looking for a super long term relationship or anything right now, but it doesn't mean I'm looking for a frivolous one night stand either. I want connections just like you do. I think you really need to give me a chance here. We are on our first date - it's too early to say whether or not I'm the right person for you or if you're the right person for me."

"Oh god, I'm already making this into a dramatic thing, aren't I?" groaned Youngjae. "And I'm supposed to be making a good impression on you and I'm coming off all needy!"

"Do you think so?"

Youngjae exploded, "Yes! No! Wait! I don't know!" He took a deep breath and finally met Mark's eyes. "Look, I loved the guy I was with, but we were badly matched and it took a lot to eventually end it. He was never as into me as I was into him. He ended up letting me go, but I learnt something from him."

"What was that?"

"That I deserve the best - I deserve someone's best. And I want that - from you. I think." Youngjae covered his face with his hands in embarrassment. "Oh God!"

"And asking God is how you're sure that I'm the best? Or are you questioning him that I wouldn't give you my best?" joked Mark, hoping to make the conversation a little less heavy on the emotional scale.

Youngjae peeked up at him through his lashes, a small grin touching his face at Mark's words. "I think you would. Well, at least I hoped so. You look like you would give everything to the one you really liked. And I kinda hoped that you liked me." He gave Mark a sheepish smile.

Mark chuckled in relief. He smiled, injecting gentle teasing into his tone as he said, "So… is that what made you ask me out on a date? Because really, you know, I didn't ask you. I didn't know where to look!"

Youngjae laughed unashamedly, his hands dropping down. "Haha ok ok yeah. Sorry about that. I just really wanted to hurry you up and I couldn't bring myself to ask you out. I was too shy!"

"You? Shy?" Mark was incredulous. "Youngjae! You just about humped my leg in the cafe!"

The younger gave an unabashed snicker. "Well, it was fun. It's fun to do bad things."

Mark lifted a brow at this.

Youngjae covered his mouth and laughed again. "Oh come on. You can't tell me Mark Tuan has never enjoyed doing bad things. You look like you'd enjoy doing all kinds of things - good or bad, but you'd be particularly good at being bad." Mark pouted. Youngjae laughed loudly. "You can't fool me. You'd be into handcuffs and blindfolds, maybe even a little paddling? You'd love cuffing someone naked to the bed, running your hands, mouth and tongue over them, teasing them all over until they were hot and sweating head to toe, begging you to let them cum."

The savage imagery ran through his head, especially as Youngjae licked his lips during this little speech. _Holy fuck._ He suddenly had visions of Youngjae laid out naked before him, his mouth open, gasping and writhing before him. From soft, insecure Youngjae to hot, smutty Youngjae. Mark's face flushed hotly and he stared hard at the other boy. _What the fuck?_

"See! The mention of it turns you on right?"

Mark cursed out loud. "Anyone would be with that imagery Youngjae! For fuck's sake. I'm sporting a boner with that imagery!"

Youngjae sent Mark a knowing smirk along with a 'Really now?' kind of look and bit his lip. Mark fixated on the man's lip-biting.

"See I knew you'd be fun. Look at what you might have missed out on if you hadn't decided to go on a date with me." Youngjae leaned forward in a conspiratorial manner.  "I give great head too."

Mark's mouth dropped open.

Youngjae slapped his hand on the table, and stamped his feet in over excitement. "God you are so fun to tease! I could say anything right now and you'd probably imagine anything and everything. Tell me, what do you think of threesomes? No no, I'm joking. Seriously though, you would not have asked me out, had I not put you on the spot?'

Collecting himself together, Mark shrugged, as he sat back, closing his mouth and swallowing - hard. His voice was still husky as he teased back, "I might have done. Now, I guess, we'll never know."

Mark shook his head at their teasing one another. It was kind of light hearted yet with touch of tease that Mark really liked. _You seem so innocent and yet under it all you are quite devilish, aren't you?_ Aloud he voiced, "You like teasing, Youngjae. Do you like being provoked back? Why hasn't someone snapped you up already?" _Surely, someone else must have liked this man?_

"I … I'm choosy. I don't date just anybody."

"I'm not just anybody, is that what you are saying?"

Youngjae chuckled, his face wide in a grin. "Actually, like I said, I've just come out of a relationship. Bammie said you were really nice - actually it was more like he's hot, he's single and well I haven't seen him with anyone for a while and I've heard he's hung like a horse…"

Mark's eyes widened and he burst out laughing, head falling to his arm on the table, face and ears flaming.

Youngjae roared with laughter, slapping his thigh as he watched Mark's reaction.

Mark peeked up at him. "Can I be honest? I like your laugh."

"Haha really? Everyone tells me I'm too loud! I like yours too."

Mark looked at him; he could feel a dopey smile on his face. "You like my laugh too?" _You are too cute for words._

"I like you." _And, obviously not shy._

"I like you too."

"In all seriousness, I'm sorry I made it a little deep back there, but I like this - you and me."

Mark gave him a smug look. "I am the best you know."

"Oh pfffttt…. Stop it!" Youngjae made a face at him. "Be honest."

"Okay, okay, but only because you asked me. I quite like this too so far. Enough that I might even let you ask me out for another date," Mark teased the other boy, who laughed openly in return. 

"Touche! Fair enough. So Mark Tuan, would you go on a second date with me?"

"Will it get me gropage rights?"

"Wha-a-at?" Youngjae stammered, laughing weakly in confusion.

"I'm joking, Youngjae. Unless you want me to go there, then no, I'm not. But seriously, I like you. Yes, I'll go to another date with you, but let's make it dinner or a movie or something instead next time?"

The unabashed laughter that left the younger boy's mouth made Mark feel good about agreeing to another date. "Yes, Mark Tuan, we can go to dinner or something. I'll find another one of your favourites or something."

Mark rubbed his neck anxiously. "Um… Youngjae... I have to say this… I'm really sorry, but to be fair, I want to be honest with you… That was not my favourite ice cream."

The look on Youngjae's face was classic. "What?"

"I'm not a fan of this flavour. It is Jackson's though. Maybe he told you his - did you ask him for mine?"

Mark could see that Youngjae was panicking and Mark felt bad at making him flounder. But at the same time, he thought Youngjae was cute when he was flustered. "Don't worry - I like it enough, but yeah, not my favourite. In fact, you have my favourite."

Youngjae must have not paid attention to Mark's comment because he still fussed, "Oh my god, why did you eat it??? I am so embarrassed now. God! Mark!"

The slender man looked across at the dismally unhappy man before him, and somewhat impulsively, he leaned across the table and pressed his lips to the other's, silencing the younger instantly. He stayed there for a moment, revelling in the feel of the slim man's lips - full and soft beneath his - a little chilled from the ice cream yet the scent of his favourite flavour giving off a desire to consume the other man entirely. He allowed himself the luxury of trailing the tip of his tongue lightly again the younger man's lower lip. He pulled back, smiling at the other's wide-eyed expression. "I like that flavour," he reiterated as he smirked at the dark-haired man.

"Oh my god!" whispered Youngjae, slack jawed with shock.

Mark leaned back in his chair, smug smile still on his face. He joked, "Actually I prefer the Ruler of All but I will accept God." He groaned mentally. It sounded better in his head.

Youngjae gave him a look and reached across, hitting his chest with his palm. "No, you did not just do that!"

Mark quickly placed his head on his arms, covering his face, face flaming with mortification. His voice was muffled as he said, "I know. I'm sorry. That was lame. See, this is why you should never listen to Jackson." He lifted his head back up to look at the other man. "But it got you to stop thinking didn't it?"

"It actually made me think more." Youngjae replied, a wry grin on his face.

"Oh?" He was crestfallen, dropping his chin to rest on his forearms. "So I didn't stop you for thinking about the mixed flavours?"

"No you did." Youngjae nodded before leaning forward, placing his face closer to Mark's,  mirroring the older boy. "But then I was thinking whether you will bite your lip like that when you I touch you naked."

"Youngjae!" Mark's face flamed anew.

"Mark!" Youngjae teased back.

Mark laughed loudly, "Donkey!"

Taken aback, Youngjae laughed. "What?!"

"Oh my God! Shrek. Have you never seen… Nevermind. They - JackBam - told me you were the innocent one!" Mark shook his head. _Where on earth did his friends find this kid?_

"JackBam huh? I like that. Huh. Well, guess what? They don't know everything."

Mark cheekily poke his tongue out the side of his mouth. "Well then - tell me everything, Choi Youngjae."

As he listened to the dark-haired man across from him with the wide beaming smile and loud boisterous laugh, Mark thought this might be a train he was willing to ride on and see where it takes him. He got the feeling that Choi Youngjae would be worth spending some time figuring out.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a cute little date. I don't know about you but I prefer having a little date at first - test the waters. This is what they were doing with their little ice cream date. To see if they want to have a more proper date.
> 
> Also wow, thanks to all of you. I'm blown away by the kudos and comments. Thanks. And for those who have got in touch with me on Twitter by DM, also thanks! It's nice to be told what you guys think and where you think they are headed! Please keep it coming.
> 
> By the way, Japan is coming... I haven't forgotten where Jaebeom is...


	9. The Wonders of Japan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Japan often captivates on all levels and it is no different for Mark and Jaebeom. They are captivated. But in entirely different ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I am so sorry. I didn't even realise how long since I have updated. I've been made flat out with various IRL things so I am sorry to keep you all waiting. Ok so we left our pair in two different places last time. We will now be in the same country! Yay! Here is our first foray into Japan and well... let's see what our boys have found...

It was all so wondrous, so weird, and so  _ different _ . All at once. Everything that Jaebeom had imagined Japan to be and then some. There were so many places he wanted to go; things he'd read about; places he'd seen through movies or TV shows. Japan made him lose all thoughts of his break up with Jinyoung and focus on the present here and now. And there was plenty to focus on. 

Jaebeom had been out exploring for most of the day since he had left his hotel room. He had captured some amazing photos and he couldn't wait to go back and look through his pics once he went back to his hotel. He'd had to forego the old-style film for digital as he'd left his camera back home. (Impromptu trips almost inevitably meant leaving everything he might have required at home.) Resigning himself to buy a new camera, he'd resorted to running into the nearest BIC and bought a one. 

Japan made him bold, wild, and he wasn't about to miss a single detail that he might regret not having captured later. There had been some interesting shrines and temples and Japanese gardens  - all of which were magnificently quiet and peaceful and well laid out. Why were Japanese gardens always so zen?

He had happened upon some historical architecture mixed with modern, found magnificent treasures as he photographed amazing art through ironworks on buildings, unusual architecture through strangely added corners on buildings, and unusual window shapes. Modern art expressed through architecture was strong in Tokyo and he was loving it for it provided him with so much dimension and depth for his photos.

Exploring meant walking down hidden pathways, and not so hidden alleyways, and ambling alongside canals surrounded by trees. He had ventured into shady looking lanes and skirted around some dodgy looking people and he'd even ventured forth and investigated some of the strangest types of vending machines; one of which had nothing but brown paper wrapped boxes - no indications of what content lay inside. 

Armed with his camera, he'd gone down weird little side alleys; entered some tiny little shops filled with wizened old men and women, drank tea with them. It had been so good to talk as much as his halting Japanese would allow. They were very patient and keen to share their stories. It was a shame he wasn't more fluent; he would have loved to ask more in-depth questions about some of their shared stories. He was infinitely grateful that they even deigned to share with a complete stranger. He found it fascinating that everyone was so polite. People were polite back home, but this was another level. No one bothered him while he was wandering around on his own. Back home, he felt that people would have found it strange that he was wandering around and eating alone, but here, it was the norm. He wasn't sure how to feel about that aspect of it; he often liked the camaraderie found in group eating but right now, this is exactly what he needed. 

He only ate when his stomach deemed it was time to eat and then he tried out the most authentic little tiny place he liked the look of and it was worth it! And when he passed some street stalls near one of the temples - Jaebeom felt he'd tried all sorts of Japanese stall food, but still couldn't get enough of it. He had also stopped it at random little ramen shops, some yakitori bars and in some diners; they didn't always have pictures of their food so he would try their special item and again, so far, he had not been disappointed. For that, he was grateful for Jaebeom loved his food. He basically ate every hour it seemed! 

In Nakameguro he walked along the Meguro River, hands trailing along the rail as he wandered alongside the water's edge. The infamous red bridge loomed in front of him and he pulled up the camera to take shots of its structural beauty.  _ It must have been magnificent during cherry blossom season.  _ He lamented his loss but instantly brightened his thoughts with a promise to come in spring in the future. He started to cross the iconic red bridge, but stopped and stared out across the water, thinking about the culture he had been experiencing so far that day. The bits he had loved most were the different styles of buildings, the faces of the people, to see the quaint with the modern, the well-worn paths versus the less so. There was something he couldn't quite capture on camera; a stillness to life despite the sheer amount of people. There was a calmness not found in other cities he had visited, a calm reverie of sorts and he found it absolutely fascinating.

It was a pleasant feeling - to be wandering about to his heart's content, unanswerable to anyone and just doing what his heart desired. Taking photos of this bridge was just one of many examples of why it was worth it to visit for him - it had been one of his many desirous locations to photograph as well as just view with his own eyes. Ever since he had seen photographs of the red bridge during  _ sakura _ season, he wanted to see it with his own eyes. He still had places all over this city to view. He couldn't wait until he went to see Mount Fuji - even though he was here at the wrong time of year to walk up the still active volcano, he wanted to at least walk to the base level. 

He was definitely enjoying the calm and relaxed manner in which he was viewing this city. 

Putting away his camera, he made his way back to the train station and stood to look at the maps of the train lines. It was after 'peak hour' commute so the number of people on the trains were definitely diminished. 

The train maps confused him. Which one was he supposed to be on? His eyes tracked the colour line he was sure he wanted - except it didn't go where he wanted to go. He gritted his teeth and tried again. Ahhh…

"Excuse me, do you need help?" A soft voice interrupted. 

He swung around - he knew that phrase as he has heard often enough over the past few days. "Ah,  _ hai _ ," he said in halting Japanese, "I am looking for the right train to take." He winced inwardly - he knew he didn't say that correctly. " _ Sumimasen _ ," he apologised. "I am a tourist and new to Japan. I am looking for Hachiko. Ah, train station for Hachiko." 

She gave him a gentle smile. The woman's eyes didn't even betray what she thought of Jaebeom's terrible language skills. "You want to know which train station to go to? Hachiko is in Shibuya.  _ Koko ga ikitai tokoro desu ka?" _

"Oh, that means 'is this where I want to go'…shit… I mean,  _ sumimasen _ ..." Jaebeom struggled to decipher the question. "Shibuya?  _ Hai _ , yes, I am going to Shibuya station. I want to go to Hachiko and the Shibuya Crossing," he confirmed politely. She smiled in understanding and showed him what train station to go to, where he needed to go, and explained it well enough that Jaebeom felt confident in trying to get there by himself. 

"Ah, thanks very much." 

His Japanese was improving and it was still only day one. Now to find that dog statue. And whatever nearest Starbucks - god he really needed something familiar.  _ Ganbatte! _

                                                                 * * * * *

_ Ganbatte!  _ What was he doing? What was this even? These were questions that Mark was constantly asking himself as he threw clothes into his suitcase. Is he insane? Is he prepared? He ran around his apartment, grabbing various bits, packed his toiletries into the suitcase before sealing it and running out the door along with his carry on. Why did he think this was even a good idea? More questions that Mark was asking himself as he made his way to the airport. He even kept asking himself the same questions as he boarded the plane, onboard the plane through the flight, and getting off at the other end. 

The familiarity of Japan hit him like a ton of bricks. The orderly fashion in which people queued and the quiet that was in the air. People were not talking loudly, but quietly in low tones. It was comforting and there was a tension he didn't realise he carried that eased somewhat as he registered the differences that made Japan home for so many years before.

As much as he noted all these things, Mark's brain was still flooding him with the same questions, in fact, it had even added a few more questions along the way as he made his way to the baggage carousel. Why did he want to come back? What did he hope for in coming back? He asked himself all this - over and over again - as he found his luggage and purchased his ticket to the airport limo bus, rode it in complete silence - caught up in his own reverie to even note the other passengers during the ride - before disembarking at his hotel. He shook himself mentally, told his brain to  _ shut up _ , and gathered his items before moving into the hotel lobby. Quietly, he moved toward the front desk. But it was relentless. Will he even find what he is seeking? What is he seeking?

The hotel concierge spoke to him in Japanese. " _ Konbanwa _ ."

It was enough to jolt Mark from his reverie and mental thoughts to switch to the other language in Mark was fluent in. " _ Konbanwa _ , I'd like to check-in, please. The name is Tuan - Mark Tuan."  _ Be quiet brain. _

"Ah, yes, Mr. Tuan, your room is ready. Let me just finish some paperwork and you can be on your way. May I have your passport, please? I will get ready your invoice."

Mark placed his passport on the small tray provided and waited. 

_ Seriously, what is it you're looking for?  _

_ Shut up.  _

_ Oooh, tetchy. _

Mark ignored his brain. It was not long before check-in was completed and he could finally make his way upstairs to his room, but all the while he could feel the questions crowding his mind like mice to cheese and waiting for an answer. He figured it could wait until he got settled in his room and then maybe even then, he could probably hold off on seeking what the answers were. So he was a little afraid of what he might find - so what? 

He put his bags down, still avoiding the questions in his head, and looked around. It was small, functional and totally adequate for a working man's needs. Desk, TV, fridge, bed. There was even the luxury of a small couch on one side - truly an upgrade to what he would normally book for himself. He took his jacket off and hung it up. Mark looked at his watch thoughtfully, wondering if a shower then food is in order, or should it be food then shower before bed, and decided he would take a shower before his heading out because well, fuck it all, he was stressed and he hadn't even started the project yet. All he'd done was arrive in the fucking country he'd been yearning for like a pathetic lovesick idiot. He shook his hands and arms, trying to loosen up and get rid of the tension. A buzz from his phone had him fishing it out of his pocket.

_ Youngjae 6:03pm  
_ _ "Enjoy your trip. Youngjae."  _

The message was enough to pull Mark out of his funk for a short moment. It was enough to disturb his thought patterns and Mark quickly focused on that and texted him back. Again, another avoidance on Mark's part to not engage in the seething mess that was his emotional brain. But he wasn't about to go into that.

_ Mark 6:05pm  
_ _ "Hey! Thanks. The flight was delayed. Just finished check-in and now in the hotel room."  _

_ Youngjae 6:08pm  
_ _ "Oh wow, that's late… weren't you supposed to have arrived about an hour ago? You're in later than you thought. You going to go out and find dinner?" _

Mark thought about it but realised he felt too bothered to contemplate going out. Luckily he was in Japan where convenience food was almost as good as going to a takeaway bar. He might as well find a convenient store nearby. He messaged back. 

_ Mark 6:11pm  
_ " _ No, I'll probably stay in. Maybe. I need to go have a shower and just chill. I'll find food after." _

His phone buzzed again. Mark chuckled at the other man's response. It made him smile and already he could feel the tension leaving him. 

_ Youngjae 6:18pm  
_ _ "You needed to tell me you were about to go have a shower? The rudeness and disrespect! The images running through my mind right now." _

_ Mark 6:19pm  
_ _ "Seriously? If I was going to be rude and disrespectful, I'd have sent you a pxt." _

He sniggered and waited but there was no immediate answer. Mark shrugged. Stripping off his shirt, he made his way into the small but adequate bathroom. He gazed at himself in the mirror - he should probably shave too since he hadn't done so since yesterday. 

He stood in the shower, letting the hot water sluice down his back. He rubbed his face vigorously, removing all traces of shampoo from his eyes before he opened them and stood them mulling over his decision to come here. He let the questions flood his anxious mind as the water ran down his naked body. Watching absentmindedly he allowed his mind to wander as freely as the rivulets of water snaking down the trail on his abdomen and down his flaccid cock to gather momentum at his balls before running down the inner muscles of his thighs. Mark's eyes followed the trails of water down his legs. Why was he here? After everything he went through to move back home, why did his heart want to come back so much? What was here that couldn't be found anywhere else? He rubbed his chest, willing the sudden tightness to go away, running his palm over the suddenly tense muscles. 

Was what he was seeking even a what? Maybe it was a whom? He leaned both his hands against the tile letting the water fall onto his back. Maybe he did need this time in Japan. He needed to find his peace. 

But first - food. 

Quickly finishing up in the shower, he toweled off and changed into clean clothing. He picked up his phone and noticed a missed message from Youngjae. He barely held in his laughter as he read the preview and couldn't stop the grin breaking out on his face. 

_ Youngjae 6:21pm  
_ _ "A pic? :O Of you in the shower? Can you? Send one?" _

He held in his laughter but couldn't stop the grin breaking out on his face. He took a selfie anyway and sent it.

_ Mark 7:17pm  
_ _ "You can't help yourself, can you?" _

_ Youngjae 7:21pm  
_ _ "Oh I can help myself and I just did. I'm thirsty. You have me rutting against the bed. I imagined you.. naked. In the shower. Water dripping down your body. Would you have touched yourself? Instead, I get your face grinning like a loon." _

_ Mark 7:22pm  
_ _ Youngjae!!!!!"  _

_ Youngjae 7:22pm  
_ _ "Mark… If I were there, I'd help myself…To you." _

_ "All of you."  _

_ Mark 7:23pm  
_ _ "I will be the kind hearted hyung and let you explore with your imagination.  _

_ Youngjae 7:24pm  
_ _ "LET. ME. LIVE!" _

Mark sniggered at Youngjae's words. The man was incorrigible. It made him feel good though, like he was wanted. Something he hadn't felt in a long while. 

Another text came buzzing in. It was not Youngjae.

_ Jackson 7:24pm  
_ _ "You got your ass in ok, right?" _

_ Mark 7:24pm  
_ _ "Well hi to you too, punk. Yes, Jackson. I'm fine." _

_ Jackson 7:24pm  
_ _ "LOL. Sorry. Yes, hi. I was just checking. I didn't want my BFF to be not ok in his favourite city." _

_ Mark 7:24pm  
_ _ "It's not my favourite city, Jackson." _

_ Jackson 7:25pm  
_ _ "Because I'm not in it, right?" _

_ Mark 7:25pm  
_ _ "You are almost as bad as Youngjae." _

_ Jackson 7:25pm  
_ _ "Oooh. Youngjae, eh? So you have been in touch since your date? Have you seen him naked yet?" _

_ Mark 7:25pm  
_ _ "Jackson - I'm in Japan." _

_ Jackson 7:26pm  
_ _ "And you had a hot date with Youngjae today - you didn't take advantage of that before you left? Or are you waiting for a holiday fling before you settle down with the boy?" _

_ Mark 7:26pm  
_ _ "TBH, I didn't give it much thought." _

_ Jackson 7:26pm  
_ _ "Mark, you need to get laid. Shit it's been too long - you forgot what to do with it!" _

_That's it!_ Mark pushed the call button and called Jackson. "Hey, fuckhead I'm just heading out to go find food. And you are definitely almost as bad as Youngjae."

Jackson sounded distracted, but happy to hear from him, and Mark could hear the tapping of keyboard keys in the background. "Hahaha! Mark, ok, ok! Well, don't forget Shibuya is still rocking at this time of night. Just because the hotel in the 'burbs doesn't mean you can't go check out some night life. You might meet a holiday fling!"

_ Hmm… that's a thought. _ Mark mused for a bit as he stood before the window. Mark decided to head to Shibuya instead.  _ That might be just what he needs. _ Then he registered what Jackson said...

"Hey! I am not looking for a holiday fling!" he declared hotly.

"What about just eye candy?"

Rolling his eyes, he said his goodbyes after reassuring Jackson that he was all set for the meeting with the vendors. Then Mark took a deep breath, looking out over the brightly lit city before him. A phrase came to his mind unbidden… 

_ Something wicked this way comes… _

 

* * * * *

 

Jaebeom looked down at this phone trying to work out where he was. He had left the train at the wrong stop but had already walked through the station gates before realising and was utterly confused. The station signs confused him momentarily before he finally worked out where he was and made his way towards the platform. He stopped, trying to work out which set of stairs he was supposed to go up. Damn. He should have worked this out before leaving the map. Someone banged into him, with what he could recall was a hastily thrown Japanese apology. He looked up at the signs again, comparing it with his train app before walking up the stairs to the Yamanote line.

"Yamanote line… Get off after Harajuku Station. Okay." He could do this.  _ Hwaiting! _

 

   * * * * *

 

Mark was relieved he remembered how to add money to his Suico card.  _ Thank god for train passes. _ Quickly swiping his way through the gates and walked towards the platform.He hurried by stores towards the platforms. Which one was it again? He quickly looked at his phone working out which line he needed to be on. Okay, this should be fine. He banged into someone inadvertently and threw a quick apologetic 'excuse me' as he passed. He quickly spotted the Yamanote line and hurriedly walked up the stairs for Yamanote to Shibuya to the platform. The platform was full yet orderly and he waited in line with others for the train to arrive. He loved this aspect of Japan; the order, the quiet, the knowledge that you have 5 minutes between each train. He moved to the side as the train passengers disembarked and moved on with the other people, skirting around others as he moved to sit down. His carriage was relatively empty - for Tokyo - being so much later in the evening than peak hour office workers. He was relieved by this. He hadn't wanted to start with the sheer overwhelming numbers of 'salarymen' in the evening commute.

Mark found himself soon wandering the streets of Shibuya. What was supposed to be a quick excursion to find food turned into a nostalgic walkabout around one of Japan's infamous tourist areas. Hachiko Statue, past a few of his favourite manga cafes, before eating at the ramen store he had frequented in the past while working in Shibuya. He took in the hustle and bustle of the streets crowded with people, yet it was so entirely pleasant. The people gave way and there was an underlying order to the movement along the footpaths that people quietly observed. There were lights and sound and yet it wasn't overwhelming. It never failed to amaze him how it never felt like there were too many people here because of how quiet it was and people respected your personal space. 

He felt at home here - like he'd never left. 

_ Is this what he was looking for?  _

He waited at the famous Shibuya scramble crossing aiming for Starbucks, meandering through his thoughts while he waited with the crowds, briefly glancing at the tourists that stood nearby with their selfie sticks and their backpacks. He'd forgotten how busy it was late at night in Shibuya compared to other parts of the city as he took in the still lively atmosphere. He crossed diligently when the walk signals changed and managed to avoid a few tourists with cameras filming themselves, quickly making his way up the escalator to the Starbucks entrance, queuing in the surprisingly short queue - well, short that is, for Tokyo. 

The phone in his pocket buzzed and he quickly pulled it out.

_ Youngjae 8:44pm  
_ _ "Are you naked yet?" _

_ Mark 8:44pm  
_ _ "Well hi to you too, Youngjae. Yes, I got dinner fine." _

_ Youngjae 8:44pm  
_ _ "LOL. Sorry. Yes, hi. I was just checking." _

_ Mark 8:44pm  
_ _ "You were pervy." _

_ Youngjae 8:45pm  
_ _ "Because you left me hanging with … you know what… nevermind! It's been a while ok?" _

_ Mark 8:45pm  
_ _ "I said I would make it up to you when I get back. I fully intend on that. Second date and all that." _

_ Youngjae 8:45pm  
_ _ "I'm not easy you know. I won't put out on the second date." _

_ Mark 8:45pm  
_ _ "Hadn't imagined you would. Good things take time." _

_ Youngjae 8:45pm  
_ _ "Oooh. In the meantime, I have full rights to imagine you in any which way I want?" _

_ Mark 8:45pm  
_ _ "Define any which way..." _

_ Youngjae 8:46pm  
_ _ "Shirtless. Breathless. Hard. Moving down my body. Naked. Behind me. Sweaty. Gripping me tightly as you slam hard into me. How's that?" _

A cough behind him alerted him to others behind in line. He noticed the man behind him was a little flushed in the face and was avoiding looking at him. Mark flushed, thinking about what he might have read over his shoulder and moved forward, quickly ordering his drink and moving off to the side. He held off on replying to Youngjae until he knew he had some privacy.

_Mark 8:49pm  
_ _"Sorry, someone was behind me and I was in line and yeah I waited until I found myself a quiet more private spot."_

_Youngjae 8:49pm  
_ _"Oh good you replied! I was worried I'd scare you off with my graphic imagery."_

 He reread Youngjae's last message. Mark's breath came in shallow waves. Ever since they had ended their date, and had agreed to another one after he came back from Japan, Youngjae seemed determined to send him the raciest imagery possible one can create with words. This man would be the death of him. Many, many pleasant kisses later, the ghost of Youngjae's lips was still in Mark's mind. He had enjoyed it most thoroughly, even if the younger man had whined at the chaste ending prior to him ending the date before running to catch his flight. Mark sniggered at Youngjae's words. The man was incorrigible. It made him feel good though like he was wanted. Something he hadn't felt in a long while.

_ Mark 8:50pm  
_ _ "You may have scared off the person in line behind me! I think they caught a glimpse of what you were sending me." _

_ Youngjae 8:50pm  
_ _ "Wait, hold up. Someone could read AND understand what you read? Aren't you in Japan - where they speak Japanese?" _

Mark realised Youngjae was right. The man behind him was not Japanese, Youngjae did not text him in Japanese, and that must mean that the man behind must have been able to read what he had been sent and was writing. That's why he couldn't meet his eyes! He quickly scanned the place, looking for the man. 

He looked across and found him, the guy looking straight at him, and the man had the grace to blush and duck his head instead of meeting Mark's gaze. Mark stayed focused on him, sipping his drink and when the man lifted his head, Mark had the temerity to lift a brow, giving him a quick wink. Mark could almost feel the other's face flush, as hot colour flooded his face. A very handsome face, his brain quietly noted.  _ Shut up. _

_ Mark 8:51pm  
_ _ "He's here. I found him. He is definitely not Japanese." _

_ Youngjae 8:51pm  
_ _ "Oh? God, is he laughing at you?? I am so sorry." _

_ Mark 8:51pm  
_ _ "Haha Don't worry. If anything I think he was embarrassed and he knows that I know that he read what you wrote." _

_ Youngjae 8:53pm  
_ _ "That only just made sense to me. Had to read it a few times though. You should go say hi and tell him off for reading over your shoulder. That's rude! Well, I do it sometimes on the train but still…" _

_ Mark 8:53pm  
_ _ "You never know I  just might." _

Mark loosely kept tabs on the other man as he continued his conversation with Youngjae, noting the man's face - quite handsome remember, his brain helpfully supplied,  _ shut up _ \- then purposefully Mark got up and walked past the guy as he dropped his cup into the rubbish and recycling. 

He found his feet carrying him to the man he'd been observing for the past thirty minutes. "I'm Mark, by the way." He quietly expressed to the surprised man. "I thought I'd introduce myself and let you know I'm not a weird creepy texter."

The dark haired man turned quickly, his face flaming once again. "Im Jaebeom. I'm sorry for eavesdropping - is it eavesdropping when I read your screen? I'm really sorry. Sorry."

Mark grinned. "It's fine. Just don't look so surprised next time. So what's a Korean doing in a place like this?"

Jaebeom laughed, relaxing a little bit. "I'm taking a breather. I have been tourist-ing it up and just wanted something familiar before heading off to find the statue of Hachiko. What about you?"

Mark answered easily, "I've just arrived back in Japan. I've just been to see Hachiko. You know he's right outside the train station right?"

He watched the other man groan. "Ah, really? Ah, well, then I'll see him on my way back to my hotel then. It's a great story, isn't it?"

"It's one of my faves, yes. How are you enjoying Tokyo?"

"It's fascinating. I am really liking it so far. I've only been here a day but it's looking good so far. I'll probably spend a week here before maybe moving to stay in Yokohama. I am hoping for a few overnight trips to places like Gunma before Hakone and Mt Fuji. Then maybe head to Osaka and Kyoto. I have no real set plan yet."

"I'm surprised. Most tourists have their itinerary all set."

Mark noted Jaebeom's awkward rub of the back of his finger where it looked like a ring used to sit. "Well, it was a surprise trip? I hadn't actually planned on this - at least not right now, but hey, here I am."

_ Recent break up?  _ Mark carefully filed that away. He knew that feeling all too well and felt a little sorry for the guy. He made a move to leave before things got awkward.

"Well, enjoy Japan. Who knows - our paths may cross again someday." He made a motion to walk away just as Jaebeom smiled and Mark stood transfixed - the man's face transformed into a thing of beauty and Mark's brain said to him,  _ He is the second beautiful thing you have seen today - damn.  _

He forced his feet to carry him out the door. First Youngjae and then this man. His man drought was apparently over - good-looking men were everywhere and dear god, he was interested. As he walked past a store, he heard the song playing,  _ it's raining men, hallelujah _ . Mark could have sworn the universe had an evil sense of humour.

   * * * * *

 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you notice they crossed paths more than once? Did you?


	10. Of Shrines and Dines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Jaebeom and Mark seem to meet in the darndest places and where the fuel for desiring one another seems to be located in the same places as to where they eat or drink. Is it the hand of fate stepping in? Or something more simple than that?

Mark thumped his pillow with a closed fist, groaning loudly as his alarm went off. He could feel the dry grittiness in his eyes and the sandpaper feel of his throat. Who the fuck invented mornings? He kept his eyes tightly closed even as he moaned into his pillow. It was like he always told Jackson, morning is the annoying thing that separated night time from the afternoon. Mind you, this was Mark most mornings. But today in particular, he felt as if he had had barely enough sleep. And that alarm was goddamn annoying. God, why were mornings so hard anyway?

He groped around trying to find his phone with his eyes still firmly shut - resisting all attempts to actually open them up to turn off the alarm - and when his fingers finally found the offending item, his well-versed fingers tapped the screen, turning off the blaring sound before he flopped back onto the bed in the sudden quiet, trying in vain to recapture those last remnants of sleep. Ugh, nope, he was actually awake.

Resigned to being awake now, Mark moved sleep-addled limbs under the blankets, plumped up his pillows against the headboard and opened his phone. Bleary-eyed, he peered at his phone screen, blinking to relieve the dry eyes and noted the missed calls and texts he'd received. _Hmm... Jackson, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson, Tammy - hello sister-, Youngjae - hello, Youngjae hello again, BamBam - wonder what that was for -, and some more texts from Youngjae - hello hello._ Mark yawned and stretched before he opened his messages app.

 _Jackson 2:44am_ _  
_ _"Yien! The team at the Japanese office is ready. You'll need to head there in the morning."_

_Jackson 2:45am_

_"The client address is on file. They'll go through it with you.  
_ _Thanks again for stepping unto the breach, Mark. Hwaiting!"_

Mark screwed up and his eyes and blinked a few times. 2 a.m.? _Oh for fuck's sake Jackson, what were you doing even up at that time?_ But Mark already knew the answer. Jackson was working as usual. No more, no less than what he has grown to understand of Jackson Wang. Hard-working and motivated. Workaholic and driven. Mark yawned again - feeling tired already from Jackson's messages. But wait, there's more! Yes, there were more messages from Jackson.

 _Jackson 2:48am_ _  
_ _"Don't forget the company gift."_

Seriously, Jackson, company... Oh wait - no it was okay. Mark had bought that after much consultation with Jackson on the phone. Jackson had forgotten about it so it had been a good thing for Mark to have asked about prior to his leaving. He laughed quietly at how Jackson could remember certain details and faces but other things just fell to the waste side. But he never forgot about the important things that mattered to any single person.

 _Jackson 2:52am_ _  
_ _"Oh and plan for dinner. You know how these things go."_

 _Oh yes, dinner._ Salarymen and business and dinners and all that. Mark made a mental note to make sure he took his portable charger. Ok, good thing Jackson reminded him.

 _Jackson 2:52am_ _  
_ _"Oh and don't wank off tonight - I need you on your A-game, not somnolent."_

_"You better not have wanked off!"_

_Oh for fuck's sake Jackson, what the actual hell?_ Mark almost flushed with embarrassment at the thought of Jackson thinking that he would be wanking off but then remembered this was the same boy who had known him through his teenage years and had even helped him get off in the early years when Mark himself didn't know what he needed to do with his dick. Plus Jackson was right - the A-game was better if he hadn't just had an orgasm in the twenty-four hours leading up to an important moment - like high school exams or university exams. Mark quietly conceded the point. Jackson 1: Mark 0. He scrolled down.

 _Tammy sent a message!_ Mark smiled in spite of himself, feeling his heart swell and the contentment blossoming on his face. He opened the text from his sister.He really did love his family. He missed them often.

 _Tammy 3:17am_ _  
_ _"Hey, call me sometime. It's been too long. The girls want to see their uncle."_

_"PS have you been laid recently yet? I'm sure it's been too long! I love you. Don't forget what we look like. Call soon!"_

He made another mental note to call them - perhaps tomorrow depending on what the schedule would be like. And his nieces were the cutest things in the world and he adored them. He quickly texted her back saying that he would talk to them tomorrow. He was just going to ignore the bit about being laid - why does everyone want him to have sex these days? He was managing just fine. Wasn't he? Aiiii, too early to be discussing this with his brain. She cared for him, he knew this. Tammy was just wanting him to be as happy as she was. It was their way of saying hey find someone and get happy already. He was working on it.

The next few were from Youngjae and he chuckled as he read them, sinking back into the pillows as he read them one by one.

 _Youngjae 4:24am_ _  
_ _"Mark-hyung! I'm going to the gym with BamBam."_

 _Youngjae 4:44am_ _  
_ _"Tell me why I am putting myself through this torture without you here? Why? Why? Whyyyyy???"_

 _BamBam 5:01am_ _  
_ _"Yo, it's yo' boy Double B. I'm at the gym. With yo boy CYJ._

 _Youngjae 5:17am_ _  
_ _"How dating are we?_

_Like we are exclusive or not yet?"_

_Youngjae 5:17am_ _  
_ _"Nevermind. Ignore my last message."_

 _BamBam 5:17am_ _  
_ _"Did you confess already hyung?"_

Mark snorted. BamBam should know better than to ask. He never confessed unless he was really sure of the person. He flicked a quick reply back saying so, laughing quietly as he did so.

 _Youngjae 5:48am_ _  
_ _"No don't ignore that. Did we confess or not?!"_

Mark cocked his head to the side. He was not sure if he was confused or if Youngjae was confused. A tendril of concern crawled up through him. He tried to understand what the messages meant but his head was just too cloudy and fogged up to really work. What was going on? He reread the last few messages but either he was still too addle-minded -- it was the morning after all -- or they really were just confusing as fuck. He pulled up his contacts list in his phone and called instead. "Hello Youngjae," he greeted, voice still husky with sleep.

He heard a gasp from the other end before the younger laughed in delight. "Oh hey - wow! You sound sexy as fuck in the morning." Mark could hear BamBams chortle in the background. "Shut up - he does!"

"Really now? I look really good in the morning too or so I've been told," he knew his voice sounded all smirky as fuck but honestly, it was the morning and he'd just been told by a cute young thing that he was sexy. Even over the phone, Mark managed to feel happier from Youngjae's words.

"Haha, nothing wrong with that ego this morning."

"Only because you make me feel full of self-confidence." It was true. Youngjae was like the literal sunshine.

"Do I?"

"You do," confirmed Mark. He shuffled around on the bed, adjusting himself. "So...hey, Youngjae," Mark cleared his throat a few times before he continued. "Ok, colour me confused by your messages."

"Ah, hahaha, you got my texts then? I was just making sure that we were on the same page. We figured we could go on a second date right? But we didn't like confess or anything? We're not exclusive, correct?"

Mark frowned in thought. "No, we didn't. And no we aren't." He thought carefully before continuing, choosing his words carefully. "You know we are still early stages right? I know we talked about going on a second date when I return from Japan but you aren't putting your life on hold? You are still allowed to go out and live your life. We're still at flirtationship - like we are interested but it's not like we have done the big confess 'hey be my boyfriend thing' yet."

Youngjae's voice rose in his excitement. "Oh my god I know!!! But I was worried about how this might look! BamBam was asking about our date and I mentioned that we'd both said we liked each other and he was like OMG did you guys confess??? And then, I was like oh hey no I don't think so? And then I panicked and sent you that text and then I un-panicked and then I panicked again and now look we are here!"

"Yes, I recognise those trees."

"It's been ages since I've gone on dates and well, you know!"

Mark laughed. "I have told you I am interested but honestly, like I told you, we have yet to go on a second date. I'm not asking you to hold out until I return from Japan. And you weren't about to wait - we talked about this."

"If it happens, we happen."

"If it doesn't, we don't."

"But, Mark, I will be mightily annoyed at you if we aren't at least friends if you happen to find someone else!"

"Noted. I'll be sure to inform you of every man that crosses my path and takes some interest in me."

"Oh thank fuck, because honestly, it did worry me today." Youngjae's voice sounded relieved.

"Why today specifically?" Mark noticed that Youngjae went quiet kind of quickly. Was Youngjae worried about Mark being in Japan? Did he think Mark would find someone over here? He coaxed gently, "Youngjae?" Mark could hear the younger boy breathing over the phone. He could imagine him worrying his lip while he worked out what to say.

He heard Youngjae take a deep breath before words rushed out. "Ok… so like big dramatic pause moment there but honestly, it was needed. So you know how I mentioned that there was someone cute at the gym? He was there today. Oh my god, Mark, he's super cute! Would you mind if I wanted to follow that line of attraction? I mean I like you, but options are options. I don't want to sound horrible, but I also don't want to pin everything on you because you know… we don't know if we work yet, and WOLO..."

Mark broke in. "WOLO?"

"...we only live once…"

"I know what it means Youngjae, but wow, have you been hanging around Jackson lately? That's like his line."

"Bammie's too."

"Ah, that makes sense." So it wasn't that Youngjae was worried about him; it was that Youngjae had found someone else to be interested in. Mark wasn't sure how to feel about that. He settled further down the bed. Seriously, mornings are so overrated. "I don't want you to feel like you can't see other people, Youngjae. Like you said you've only just jumped back into the dating pool. I'm in another country for at least two weeks. Who knows - I might find someone here. We can keep going on the way we are going. We are friends first and maybe something more later, but that remains to be seen."

"Thanks, Mark. It would interesting if you found someone over there. I don't know how I would feel if you told me that you did but at the same time, I do low key want someone to express interest in you - if only so it affirms my choice in liking you as a person!"

Mark sniggered at that. "So you want someone to find me attractive so that you feel that you have good taste in men? Thanks for that vote of confidence, Youngjae."

He listened to the bark of laughter at the other end.

A beep sounded signalling another call coming through. The Mandarin characters spelled Jackson's Chinese name. Mark thought he better answer that. "Hey Youngjae? I have a call coming through - are you good?"

"Yeah I'm good. Talk to you later!"

He quickly answered the incoming call. "Hello Jackson."

"Markie, I'm so sorry!"

He sighed. This was never a good start to any conversation with Jackson. "What did you do?"

   

 * * * * *

About thirty minutes later, Mark made his way to the Starbucks near the station. It was going to be the only way he survived until his brain kicked in. He shuffled his bag to the other hand as he stood in the queue. Jackson said the client had prepped the brief and they were to have this meeting more to create ties for the business and build the trust in the working relationship. Mark knew what this meant - it meant that Mark was going to be the lead and meeting with the Japanese clients from here on in - something that Jackson had kind of glossed over. Mark knew he couldn't switch out the lead contact when that was how the trust was built upon so in the future he would be coming over with Jackson. Damn that infernal manipulator.

"Good morning, what would you like to order?"

"One iced coffee, grande, dark mocha chip please." He paid and stood off to the side waiting for his order. It wasn't too busy considering the time of day so Mark noticed when that guy from the Starbucks yesterday - Jaebeom? - walked in. He looked distracted, a hand roughly shoving his black hair back off his forehead as he peered at the menu high behind the counter. Mark noticed he looked about as good as Mark felt; like he hadn't quite had enough sleep and he was here for a quick pick-me-up. The wide shoulders were offset by the tee and shirt combo that looked like they were worn for comfort than for style, but they couldn't quite hide the muscles in his arms that peeked from the short sleeves of the summer style shirt.

Mark decided to tease him a bit. He waited for him to finish his order and stood back so he wasn't noticed before he moved toward the younger man.

"Hey… Jaebeom, right?" Mark said conversationally, silently laughing when the guy turned around with the deer in headlights look. "Gotta stop meeting like this. Someone might think you're stalking me or something…" Mark winked at him as he reached around him and grabbed a straw.

"But…"

Mark bit his lip to stop himself from laughing outright as Jaebeom's jaw dropped and the guy got flustered. He casually raised a brow at the younger man, putting the straw in his mouth. As he licked the end of the straw, he noticed Jaebeom's eyes drawn to his movements. _Interesting_. He decided to ignore that he himself noticed the two moles above Jaebeom's eye that added a certain something to his already good-looking face. 

Mark's name was called and he rushed forward, grabbed his drink, grateful for the interruption. He turned and Jaebeom was still looking blankly at him. _Must have been a hard night._ Mark took pity on Jaebeom. "Relax…" Mark grinned at the flustered boy. "I was just teasing you. It was kinda fun. See you around… _stalker_."

Taking a sip of his drink, he grinned as he waited for the other man to finish digging himself a hole.

Jaebeom stammered, "W-w-what? Um.. yeah… I'm not…"

He heard the barista calling Jaebeom's name and noticed the man hadn't moved so he leaned over and growled in his ear, "Jaebeom..." and walked out. He walked away, a slight bounce in his step. He was very awake now.

Shit, he was off to a later start than he anticipated. How did he end up here? Mark hurriedly made his way out of Starbucks and towards the station. He had to quickly check on his phone for directions at the other end but shortly worked it out.

Greeting the small Japanese team that he'd only met via online communication was a bit disconcerting but they soon understood where each stood. He listened to their Japanese team work out the final details of what they would present today. They quickly discussed what the contract entailed and what had already been discussed and put on the table via Jackson on email and video calls prior to this meeting. Mark knew this upcoming meeting with the client was more a gesture of good faith and not the actual closing of the contract and with his name on the company deeds, it would make the other company's team feel reassured that they were dealing with the highest ranked of his and Jackson's company. He knew that face was incredibly important.

He stretched and yawned as the team broke for a quick break. He shook his head at the offer of food, indicating to the others he needed to make some phone calls.

He looked out the window in quiet contemplation. He liked being back at work, at the helm of a ship. It may not be his, but it was still nice. It wasn't as if he was itching to be back at the helm of his _own_ company, but being in charge of this project gave Mark enough challenge, enough authority and responsibility without the other stress. Being a director of your own business, knowing you had a responsibility for all those employee's and those lives was a stress that Mark felt he could do without for a little while longer.

Talking of stressful employers… Mark fired off a quick text to Jackson to let him know they were on break. Jackson must have been between meetings and clients as he promptly called back. The call wasn't long - they discussed a few changes to what had already been decided, but it was fairly brief. The plans for the project seemed to be good, very sound. The contractors the Japanese team had lined up were good and ready to go on proposed date provided the client today signed by the agreed signed date. All in all, Mark was happy and in turn, he thought Jackson was happy too.

"... so I think with those changes we can make it better for their future clients."

"I like it. Sounds good all around. Sign off on the changes and make sure Keiko-san emails the revisions through to the client before the meeting."

"Will do… boss." Mark grinned as Jackson let out a shout of laughter.

"Boss! haha! I like it!" Jackson declared. "Can you shout 'The plane! The plane! Boss, the plane!'?" Mark knew that he should have never watched the Fantasy Island episodes that he found on YouTube with Jackson.

"No."

"But Markiepooh…"

"No."

"Ok, new rule! You cannot say no to the Boss when he requests for aeygo!"

"That's a stupid rule, Jackson," Mark flatly replied.

"No, it's not, Yien. You do such good aeygo! Please! Aeygo! Please! Please!" Jackson's tone was wheedling and whining. Mark laughed in spite of himself.

"I'm going now…Hanging up..."

"Wait wait! Ok, I won't make you do aeygo. But can you still keep calling me Boss?"

Mark hung up the phone, letting out a small cackle because he knew Jackson would have let out a disbelieving shriek at the other end. He waited. His phone blared. "Hel…" ... _lo?_

"The audaciousness! The temerity! The cheek! The sheer rudeness!"

"Bye, Jackson." As he hung up, he heard Jackson's delighted cackle and knew the younger man wasn't offended. Mark's heart was light as he finished his conversation with Jackson. He checked for any other messages and quickly responded before heading back into the meeting room with the others. One of the team members brought in coffee to carry them through to the meeting which he gratefully accepted.

As he sat there listening to the discussions around him, sipping on coffee that his mind felt tied into a certain incident that morning, Mark found his mind couldn't help but wander, thinking about what Jaebeom might be up to…

 

    * * * * *

There was a certain peace when you first enter Meiji Shrine. And Jaebeom noticed as soon as he passed the first gate. He had stood for a while looking up at the first torii gate, feeling the difference even before he stepped through and then when he walked past and onto the wide pathway...He felt like turning in circles, bathing in the feeling, letting it wash over him. For the first time, it didn't hurt so much in his chest, there was no pang of suppressed hurt, but instead, a freeness that he hadn't realised he had needed.

He walked down the seemingly endless gravelled path, feeling a calm he had not felt in a long time. He was surrounded by foliage and trees so tall. There were no soaring skyscrapers, nor neon lights, no sounds of trains or cars; only nature and a peace that felt like … love.

Wasn't he in the middle of Tokyo? Wasn't he in the middle of an entire bustling city? How could this place not be tainted by the emotional negativity of people? How did it not absorb the frustrations, the anger, the sadness, the loneliness of human beings? How could it send out such a feeling that made him feel whole once more?

In wonder, he walked further, and he could have sworn the trees whispered to him welcome. You are safe. Welcome.

_Thank you._

It was amazing. He could feel the love, the nurture that went into creating this place, this amazing piece of heritage. The feeling it brought to his chest, the heart, the respect these revered Emperor and Empress were given, it was planted in these very trees, in the very ground and it radiated far and wide to anyone who came in. Jaebeom felt so thankful to be experiencing this. It was truly an amazing experience and he felt awed. He could feel the rips in his heart and the shredded edges seemed to be healing and fixing themselves and the pain it used to cause was subsiding. It was hard to explain, but Jaebeom knew that things within him were different.

When he reached the Minami Shin Mon, he was lucky enough to be one of few people and the place was virtually deserted. He quietly observed the people who went up to the main shrine and prayed. He wondered what they prayed for. The 'at peace' feeling in the air washed over him. It seemed to infuse him and a tension inside him slowly unravelled and unwound and it was somewhat disconcerting that he could feel it almost tangibly dissolving within. He continued to let himself absorb whatever it was here that was bringing some peace after the weeks of turmoil since Jinyoung's leaving.

As he wandered through the peaceful shrine area and its buildings, he couldn't help but think about his failed relationship and how gutting it was to have had it end the way it had. The pain that seared his heart before felt calmer now, more at ease in his soul. He knew that he was still in pain, that would take a while to disappear entirely. It may not even disappear at all. To be fair, Jaebeom didn't really want it _all_ to go - he thought he wouldn't mind having a slight twinge to remind him that he'd had ten glorious years with someone who was beautiful and handsome and had such an indomitable spirit. He just would prefer that the pain didn't crush him everytime he thought about his ex. A slight twinge would be ok.

He also would have preferred it if Jinyoung hadn't fallen out of love because it only made him question himself as to what he would bring to any relationship if the love of his life, his lover, his best friend, after 10 years 2 weeks 4 hours 52 minutes, had found nothing to hold on to but had instead fallen out of love with him. He wished he knew Jinyoung's thoughts if only to quiet his own thoughts.

He shook himself out of his melancholic thoughts and focused on enjoying this place - plenty of time to cogitate later. For now, he was here to enjoy this. He slid his camera out of his bag and looked around.

He wandered around, taking in the ageless grace of the temple, the wondrous beauty that lay in the very walls and stones that made up this shrine and its surrounds. Jaebeom allowed the peace to wash over him, absorbing as much of it as he could before finally turning away and walking on.

It was truly peaceful here and he felt that somehow some way he was repaired enough to move on with his life, irrespective of what Jinyoung had done, would do, or had thought of or even if he would even come back to Jaebeom in the future. For now, Jaebeom was happy with being here, healing and righting his world and repairing the cracks in it.

He continued to walk through, seeing the _kazaridaru_ \- the sake barrels - the names of the sake masters commemorated through the decorated sake barrels, donated to the shrine for festivals. It was impressive actually. He had read about the significance of the sake donations but had failed to realise on how grand a scale it was. He took photos as best he could, but the crowds were growing now and he decided he would move on.

There was a gift store and restrooms nearby and he took the time to freshen up and use the utilities before moving on through towards Yoyogi Park.

Yoyogi Park was large and adjacent to Meiji Jinju and Jaebeom found himself wandering around looking at the various buildings with interest. He knew that this had been the venue for the 1964 Olympics and he was intrigued by how well the Japanese had continued to use the facilities over time.

Jaebeom was so lost in his photography of all the sites that he lost track of time and it wasn't until he felt hunger pangs that he realised that he had been wandering around Meiji Shrine and Yoyogi Park and all the surrounds for a good part of the day. Mind you, Meiji Jinju was 175 acres so it wasn't surprising that Jaebeom needed to catch his breath and sit for a while after visiting. He placed his camera into his bag - he was ready for some food and he recalled a ramen place that one of his friends, Yugyeom, had told him about. That would foot the bill nicely.

After some wandering around because his phone refused to find coverage momentarily within all the tall buildings, he eventually located the ramen house he wanted.

He entered and was greeted loudly by the proprietor. He gave a small bow and held up one finger, quickly going to his seat as he was bade to. He ordered quickly, and before long his meal and drink order arrived. He tucked in, feeling relaxed and happy.

He allowed to his mind to wander back to that morning when he saw that guy Mark again. He was still bothered by that morning and by the fact he had not been able to recall his name at the time. His name had come to him much later.

As he sat there waiting for his ramen, he took the time to think back to how he'd been standing in line at Starbucks innocently minding his own business when Mark had come up to him with a very casual easy-free, "Hey… Jaebeom, right?"

It had surprised him. Mainly because in a city the size and population of Tokyo, it wasn't a given that you would re-meet someone you'd happened upon one time. All Jaebeom could think of was how he couldn't for the life of him remember what his name was - all because he had freaked out because he'd had a dream about that very man once an hour or so beforehand. A very graphic, very sex-personified kind of dream.

But he had been floored when Mark had said, "Gotta stop meeting like this. Someone might think you're stalking me or something…"

Jaebeom shook his head at the memory. He had gotten so flustered and then even more so when Mark winked at him while reaching for him. For a moment, he thought it was a very forward thing of Mark to do until he realised that Mark was pulling away with a straw in his hand from the stand behind him.

The server brought Jaebeom's ramen to his seat and interrupted his thoughts. _"Sumimasen. Tonkatsu ramen desu."_ Jaebeom nodded his thanks and appreciation. The smell was good. He gave his thanks before starting his meal, making slight appreciative noises as he ate. The man behind the counter smiled and nodded at Jaebeom's appreciative gestures. It was really good ramen.

Even as he ate, Jaebeom couldn't help but let his thoughts wander back to the morning. He chewed carefully as he wondered - had Mark been flirting or was that wink just a friendly gesture that meant something else to Mark? Jaebeom felt that it was not just a friendly gesture. He wasn't sure what made him think that, but as he slowly ate his meal, something in him said that Mark had been interested. Even his easygoing, carefree words of "Relax…I was just teasing you. It was kinda fun. See you around… _stalker_ ," made Jaebeom think that Mark had been teasing him - genuinely and on purpose.

The raised brow that Mark had thrown him had peaked even more of an interest from his end because seriously, how can anyone be that good looking while casually sipping on a drink? God is a vindictive bitch was the conclusion he had reached. Jinyoung captured his attraction in a similar manner at first too.

As he sipped on the ramen broth, it brought to mind not memories of Jinyoung but instead, that of the sound that Mark's mouth made while sipping on his drink.

Jaebeom paused his eating, glancing around out of nervousness, half expecting other patrons around to know what he was thinking about, but on a rational level, he knew they didn't. He shifted uncomfortably on his stool in recollection.

He knew that he had watched mesmerised as Mark touched his tongue to the end of the straw, wrapping those pink lips around the plastic stem and sucked. It was like the dream he had had this morning, except it wasn't a straw the older had been sucking on. He had felt stupefied as he had stared at the older man.

Jaebeom breathed out. He doubted Mark would have been as friendly toward him had he seen what Jaebeom had been thinking. Or maybe…

He had found himself stammering when confronted with that face after all those not-so-innocent thoughts from the night before running through his head. "W-w-what? Um.. yeah… I'm not…"

 _Shit_ . Jaebeom hadn't meant to read over the man's shoulder last night but he had had the height advantage over the shorter, slightly-built man. The little huffs of what was obviously laughter coming from the man as the texts came fast-and-ready made him intrigued as to what kind of messages the man in front of him was exchanging. His eyes had widened when he realised that they were really quite private. And since he and Mark of them had talked at the Shibuya Starbucks, and Jaebeom had heard that voice and had got to actually look at that face - a face that he felt God had been so very proud of when he had sculpted it - he couldn't stop thinking about what that message had said about Mark. _Shirtless. Breathless. Hard. Naked. Sweaty._ Possibly why he had tossed and turned about in bed with images of Mark in his head all night. But the highlight had been the coup de grace of the morning woody dream … Jaebeom dreaming of that man above him, below him, his cock inside that beautiful man's mouth. Those lips would be wrapped around him, those eyes would most likely be closed, those beautiful lashes fluttering against those cheeks that would be sucked in as he moved his mouth over Jaebeom's cock. He could almost feel it all...

And he had been thinking about all of this while Mark had been standing there, grinning and teasing him, with that beautiful smile, and that beautiful face and Jaebeom could only think of what he had looked like in his dream

But then Mark had to go do that thing... when his name had been growled out in his ear; when he had felt Mark's breath washing over his skin - his eyes had gone wide because - _fuck me_ \- his dick had twitched in his pants... " _Jaebeom..._ " because Mark growling out his name was just … _holy fuck_.

Mark had grinned innocently at him. And Jaebeom had wanted to just leap on him.

Even just recalling his thoughts at the time, Jaebeom internally cringed. He winced as he recalled his face flushing hotly when that grin had showcased those beautiful teeth and he had gotten blinded by that smile and those canines - the ones that made Mark look like a kind of modern-day vampire. Oh God, that had led to some other thoughts and Jaebeom had definitely thought very not-so-innocent thoughts as he'd pictured those biting down into his shoulder while Mark would be coming undone. There had been more internal swearing and cussing on his part as Mark had held up his drink in farewell and walked out the door. Jaebeom was willing to admit that he had been more than a little regretful as he'd watched that man leave.

Jaebeom only hoped Mark hadn't noticed that he was sporting a very hard, very frustrated boner. He was thankful for his backpack, quietly held in front of his pants, had grabbed his drink and willed his dick to die down as he sat at a table, backpack still strategically on his lap.

Jaebeom took a deep breath and reached for some water. Swallowing between sips, ruefully, Jaebeom chuckled to himself as he thought back through that entire incident. It had taken a while before he had been able to get his dick to calm down to wander around Tokyo. He'd spent some time just listening to music and trying very hard to not think about Mark.

He found it more than interesting that this man had popped up in front of him. He found it more interesting that he was interested. After all, Jinyoung and he had only recently broken off their relationship, and yet, here he was having intense sexual desires towards a man he had only just met, and in all honesty, wasn't even sure if the other man was even into men.

It would be just his luck that Mark would be as heterosexual as the next guy, or worse, not into cats. He couldn't imagine a relationship with someone who didn't love his cats - talking of which… he pulled out his phone and messaged his two best friends who confirmed that yes they had already thought ahead and fed his small family. Jaebeom received a photo of his babies and he grinned at the photo.

Jaebeom couldn't help but wonder what the man was doing now…

   

 * * * * *      

Mark's meeting with the clients that afternoon was long but typically Japanese with a closing of a meal at a nearby place.

Mark felt very tipsy already. That was a lot of sake and whiskey they had consumed with their ramen, but he had to give his friend Yugyeom props for the delicious place they had gone to. He and Jackson owed that boy - it was really delicious. Thank goodness Suzuki-san was ready to leave with Tanaka-san. He made a slight motion with his hand to the proprietor and gave his card to pay for the meal. He stood and bowed politely, as they indicated they would leave before him.

" _Arigato gozaimasu, Tanaka san, Suzuki san._ " Mark bade them goodbye and made all the necessary customary gestures, the rest of the team also leaving to bid the others a polite business farewell, leaving Mark to gather his thoughts and his breath alone in the private room.

Taking a deep breath, he waited for a moment, and went to also leave but spotted a familiar figure. Mark paused, contemplating whether he should stop or not. Those wide-set shoulders were enough to give him away but easily confirmed with the earrings and rings on his hand. Im Jaebeom. What were the odds? The universe must be shoving Jaebeom his way for a reason and well, who was Mark to say no. Also that Mark couldn't resist the desire to needle the man. There may have been some alcohol at play in this decision too, but Mark was going to ignore that.

Moving quickly across the room, he sat on the empty stool next to the man with an air of nonchalance. "Hey stalker boy, you didn't think I'd notice you coming in?"

He immediately felt bad at surprising the other man when he started coughing and choking and Mark slapped him sharply between the shoulder blades. He held up a finger to the owner who poured him another shot of whiskey and quickly thrust it into Jaebeom's hand. He suppressed a laugh at the almost comical way Jaebeom reacted to the whiskey burn and instead, rubbed the man's back almost soothingly. He felt the muscles beneath his hand and his fingers suddenly tingled. He left his hand there for a moment longer than necessary.

The younger boy finally turned toward him and Mark gaped at the watery eyes and the overly flushed face. It made Mark think of blowjobs and what fucked out Jaebeom would look like. He quickly leaned forward as his dick twitched and stirred at the thought.

"Mark?" came the raspy query

_Oh, my fuck. God, he sounded good like that._

He gazed at Jaebeom, from the slick lips to the teary eyes with the two dots above them that bade Mark to press his lips there.

Mark swallowed hard and bit his lip, his voice coming out husky in response. "I hope you enjoyed your meal - I see you got the same as me. Are you changing your tastes to suit mine?"

He couldn't help it - he stared at the man. _He really has very nice eyes. And a great mouth._ The alcohol mixed with the desire that started to burn in his body. His dick was definitely alive right now and Mark knew he had to leave before he embarrassed himself by sporting a woody in the middle of a ramen house. He dropped a wink at the confused man before giving his shoulder a quick squeeze. _God those shoulders felt good under his fingers._ He had a disconcerting image of what they would feel like to grip in the throes of fucking. _Fuck he had to get out of here before he embarrassed himself._

He leaned over, clamping down on the urge to suck on the other man's lobe, instead choosing to lowly intone, "Don't change to suit me - I hear opposites attract." He walked away quickly, his senses full of the man's scent. _God, Jaebeom smelled good._ His cock agreed. Walking was difficult. Thank God he had a satchel to strategically hold in front of him. Mark winced as his hard cock and tight balls expressed their displeasure by making the act of walking also hard - talking to Jaebeom had stirred the gods and Mark felt he was paying the price.

   

 * * * * *      

When Jaebeom felt a body jumped into the empty seat next to him, he paid them no mind. But it was when he heard the voice..."Hey stalker boy, you didn't think I'd notice you coming in?"

_Oh my god._

He knew that voice… He choked on the mouthful he'd just taken and felt it go down the wrong way. He coughed, gasping for air and felt a hand thumping him in between the shoulder blades. It wasn't helping. His eyes watered, and he coughed and gasped some more, his hands reaching for a drink to aid, felt a glass in his hand and quickly swallowed the drink that was offered to him. It was not water. It burned down his throat and he gasped as his airways cleared. _Whiskey. Woah._

Okay - he was okay. He felt like an idiot though as he turned watery eyes to greet... "Mark."

There was something in Mark's eyes as their eyes met, Jaebeom was sure of it, but he was too busy still gasping for breath. He was sure it wasn't a good look but oh well. In comparison, Mark looked damn good. All suited up, complete with a tie, and his hair smoothed up off his forehead and holy shit, this man really did look fucking good. Jaebeom was sure they painted a sight right now - Mark in his suit, he in his casual wear and bucket hat. Such total opposites right now.

"I hope you enjoyed your meal - I see you got the same as me. Are you changing your tastes to suit mine?" _I don't know - do you like men? Please say yes?_ Jaebeom was partially disgusted with his mind for being so trash for this man, but he was also disgusted with himself for not uttering a single word that would show his more chic side, but he was floored by this gorgeous man and that look in his eyes. Jaebeom could feel his body responding to whatever that was. Was it too much to hope for? He licked his lips nervously.

There was that confounded wink again before a quick squeeze on the shoulder and a dropped whisper in his ear. "Don't change to suit me - I hear opposites attract."

As the man walked away, Jaebeom expelled a breath that almost winded him and led him into almost believing that he, Im Jaebeom awkward-extraordinaire, had cum in his pants right then and there. His eyes were wide as he drew a disbelieving breath in and his thoughts were in disarray. _Mark-fucking-Tuan. What the fuck was that?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well. Mark and Jaebeom. The universe seems to be speaking to you. 
> 
> Sorry for the delay in updates! Hopefully you'll be ok that it's slightly longer this time around. I'm super nervous at how you guys will take this chapter! Eek! Please let me know what you think or even a 'glad you updated' comment! It's fuel for my drive to write the next chapter!


	11. When Stalkers and Love Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If the Universe wants you and your partner to meet, it will. And when it is earnest in its desire to have you two meet, it will keep throwing you at one another until you work it out. The universe has its wacky sense of humour and plays with these two a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updates... my brain wasn't functioning well and then I think Jaebeom threw his toys out of a cot and didn't want to speak to Mark in my head and then it took forever to get them talking to one another again. 
> 
> Also: For those who don't know. Yokohama the second largest city in Japan; it is next to Tokyo, although on a map Yokohama looks like part of Tokyo. But ask anyone in Yokohama - it's not part of Tokyo. It is the capital city of Kanagawa Prefecture. It's also a port city, so it's next to lots of water. 
> 
> Also thank you thank you to Obliviouschyld who helped me wrestle this chapter to life... you can also thank her for the slight delay as I held it captive in its finished state until she got an update out on her story (if you have read her stuff - go, do! But after reading this update please.)

The sun was beating down heavily. The air was cooler on this side, probably because Yokohama was a seaport. But it didn't stop the heat from the sun and Jaebeom was looking for someplace cool to go wander in that wasn't a mall. Jaebeom waited for the lights to change so he could cross the street. He looked down at his phone, scrolling around the map... He could have sworn that there was an art gallery here someplace. The map told him it was here… _where the fuck was it?_

"Hey, stalker!"

Shocked and surprised, Jaebeom quickly lifted his head and looked around. _Who? What? Where? Why?_

There was a familiar figure loping towards him, and seeing who it was, Jaebeom cocked his head to one side, eyes narrowing, exasperation on his face, but a smile broke out on his face nonetheless. _Damn his thirsty self._

"Aiiii. I'm not your stalker," he called out to none other than Mark Tuan.

Jaebeom noticed Mark properly as the other man broke into a jog to come to him. The older man was dressed fairly casually - jeans, tee, sneakers and a cap. Jaebeom couldn't help himself as he gave the blond a good look over. He suits a cap. _Looking pretty good there, Mark Tuan._ His eyes went wide as he realised he'd just given Mark the eye-slide up his body and hoped the other man hadn't noticed. _Shit._ Had Mark noticed his hungry stare up his body? Dreading what the other man might have thought at his forwardness, Jaebeom cringed internally. The light indicated he could cross and panicking, he hurried to cross before the other got to him.

He winced, prepping himself for a tirade of questions for when the other man would catch up to him. Instead, he started when he felt the older boy sling an arm around his neck and shoulder, the weight comforting and not constraining in any way as he walked along with him. Ok, so maybe Mark _hadn't_ noticed Jaebeom's long slow perusal of his body. God, he fervently hoped not.

His breath choked somewhat in his throat as Jaebeom could feel the puffs of warm breath against his neck, sending trickles of excitement and spikes of awareness down his body as Mark spoke in his quiet tone, "Aw, that's a shame. I kinda like having my own personal stalker." His voice was almost caressing as he said this and Jaebeom felt an extra delicious shiver going down his spine at Mark's words. Were they on good enough terms to be arm over the shoulder basis or was this really an attempt at hiding a pass being made at him? Would Mark want to hide that? Would he even make a pass at him? Personal stalker. Jaebeom liked the sound of that. He, too, liked the idea of being Mark's stalker, watching him. Not creepy at all... Nope... Is it? Jaebeom knew the answer was most likely yes, yes it was definitely creepy. It did not stop the idea of watching Mark crossing his mind, and his brain helpful supplying scenarios in which he could watch Mark. Watch being the operative word. Scenarios that involved the man next to him in semi-clothed or preferably unclothed situations. The jeans and casual top ensemble did not help Jaebeom at all as he now just imagined Mark in _only_ jeans - open at the zip and nothing else, one arm cradling the back of his head, the other hand draped casually over his stomach, abs and happy trail on display. Jaebeom leaned into Mark, taking a deep breath. He couldn't help himself; well he could, but he didn't want to. It felt nice. Had nothing to do with the fact that he wanted to plant his mouth on Mark's skin, preferably at the curve of his long neck. _Damn that boy has a very beautiful neck._ And definitely, nothing to do with the want to feel that lean body pressed up against his - even if only for a moment. He noticed Mark didn't seem to mind nor did Mark push him away. Jaebeom turned his head slightly, biting his lip, and inhaled Mark's scent. It really was like ambrosia to his senses. He blinked his eyes rapidly, trying to bring some sense and decorum to his brain, and not just a feeling of being blissed out by walking next to the man.

"So what's my stalker been up to today on his Japan travels?" Mark's tone was conversational as they walked along. "Seen anything good? Apart from me, that is."

JB knew his face was flushing even as he said, "Ah, really. Stop it. I told you I'm not your stalker." He didn't really mean it. He enjoyed Mark's teasing - sometimes a little bit too much. And no, he hadn't seen anything as good as Mark. He made a small hissing sound as he reflected on how badly he had it for this guy.

"What's up, JB?"

Startled, Jaebeom looked at him. Those large expressive eyes were staring at him, expectantly waiting for an answer. He could see each individual lash…

"Are you ok?"

Jaebeom pulled himself together with a small effort and grunted. "Yes."

"Yes you're ok or yes you've seen something good or yes you're up? The latter might be a bit TMI, but hey, we all have needs, you know."

Mark's voice held a teasing note and that smile lifted the corners of those pink lips and Jaebeom wanted nothing more than to sweep his tongue along that bottom lip. _Yes I'm ok, Yes you. Yes, I'm most definitely up._ Jaebeom licked his bottom lip before breaking out into laughter. "Ah, really? That's the best you can come up with?"

"Well, I was put on the spot. I'll do better next time. I promise." Mark pulled him in briefly, giving him a side hug. "So how is the tourist thing going? Have you been looking around Yokohama? Have you been down to Yamashita Park? Sakuragicho? Chinatown?"

"I went down earlier. There was a cruise ship that came in to the harbour. I got some nice photos."

"Oh good. Yokohama is often overlooked because of Tokyo. It has its own little delights. I will admit I am surprised to see you here to be honest. Are you sure you aren't stalking me?"

Jaebeom cricked his neck, twisting it in response. "Ai, you better not be referring to me being a stalker again."

"Well aren't you?"

Jaebeom sucked in his breath and made a hissing-tsking sound. "Ah, really? Stop." Mark laughed. For a moment, Jaebeom reflected on the name name Mark had coined him. Stalker. After all the little run-ins, it did seem like there might have been some stalking going on. But it wasn't his fault that he had seen the other man several times over the past few days. It was always while the other man was running between appointments it seemed as he'd been carrying his briefcase and was in his suit but all at differing locations. Definitely not stalker material. He didn't even have Mark's phone number so there was no way he could even try to track him down even if Jaebeom had wanted to.

And he hadn't wanted to.

Much.

"Seriously - how was I supposed to know that you had business someplace nearby in Shinjuku?" he grouched. "And that after I had spent a good portion of the morning at Shinjuku Gyoen and I'd had the thought to go up to the viewing platform in the Tokyo Metropolitan Building that you'd would also have a similar idea for your lunch?"

"You wouldn't," Mark agreed.

"And you even made it so that i would have another tick on my 'List of ten most embarrassing things that happened to me in Japan'"

Mark looked thoughtful for a moment. "Gee, I hope those children will be ok… You have a list?"

"Ah, Mark! It was your fault that we had that stupid lightsaber fight! And yes I have a list - thanks to you!"

"You have to admit, those lightsaber chopsticks were pretty cool though. Really? What's on it?"

"Really! That's all you got to say? 'Ok, yeah, they were cool'? And I'm not going to tell you!" Jaebeom silently acknowledged that the chopsticks that were shaped to look like mini Star Wars lightsabers were pretty cool. And that yes he'd bought several pairs to bring home for his friends. Although he did worry that his apartment might not handle a fight between the Sith and Jedi after Kim Seokjin and Yoo Youngjae got hold of them. But he wanted Mark to acknowledge that there were going to be some kids - Japanese and foreign - that would either be using those chopsticks in a similar manner when they went home or too scarred at being held in a play-hostage situation between two fully-grown-as men.

"Okay, then, what about Akihabara?"

Jaebeom shook his finger at the other man. "Ok, no, no, no. Akihabara was _completely_ a coincidence as I'd gone looking for a couple of specialty music store and you know I was there specifically for a new acoustic guitar!

"Ok sure let's go with that…" Mark's voice didn't sound like he believed Jaebeom. Jaebeom's jaw dropped at his next words. "Hmm… okay, maybe you weren't stalking me per se, but you have to admit, those instrument stores weren't even in Akihabara so it was kind of a lame excuse for you being there… But hey, those crepes you treated me to were good! Though it was awkward when you purposely bumped into me in front of those buskers... "

Jaebeom glared. He growled, "I am not your stalker." But yeah, how was it that they ended up in standing in front of a crepe store, eating while talking about the music they both liked? And why did the universe just want to show them how perverse it really was because although they had gone their separate ways, it was mere hours later that they were both standing in front of the same busking band, but on opposite sides of the crowd and they only noticed when they went to leave and literally bumped into one another. "I did not purposely bump into you…"

"Sure, let's go with that…"

"I didn't!"

"JB! I believe you! Stop being so defensive about it!" Mark patted his shoulder in appeasement. "But you have to admit, the bottom of the Tokyo Skytree incident was remarkable, you outdid yourself there. You had to have stalked me there!"

"Oh my God, no! Stop trying to make me out to be your stalker! I was trying out the yakitori bar! One of the one of the hotel staff at the place I'd been staying at recommended it! How was I supposed to know that you'd be going there??? You were there with work colleagues!"

He'd bumped into Mark and some of his work colleagues, and while they had extended the invitation to join them, Jaebeom wasn't sure that he was ready to socialise with Mark, let alone also with other people that only Mark knew. It would feel a bit like a forced group date so he declined. Then he banged his head against the wall in subway as he called himself all sorts of names for being such a scared idiot.

"Ah, but you could have had that staff know my staff and they could have worked it out between the two of them and 'accidentally-on-purpose' told my staff where you were going so that we would all meet… huh? Huh?"

It was the smug smirk on Mark's face that made Jaebeom pinch his side and got his neck yanked for the trouble.

"Goddamn it, Jaebeommie!" Mark cursed, the slim athletic man tried to sidle away from the ticklish spot with his arm still draped around Jaebeom's neck..

Jaebeom's mouth dropped open. "What did you call me?"

"...Er… Jaebeom?"

Jaebeom quirked his head. "No, you didn't."

"Yeah… I did."

"Ah, no. No, you didn't."

"Fine, I called you Jaebeommie."

"Why?"

Mark stalled, "Because it's cute?"

"Why?"

"Because you're cute?"

Jaebeom's breath left his lungs with a whoosh and he was fighting to draw breath at this comment.

"Breathe, Jaebeom. It was only a compliment. It's not like I declared I have designs on your virtue." Mark's voice was amused. "Unless you want me to…"

Jaebeom choked, shaking his head.

"Pity. I can stick to 'stalker' if you like?"

"Aish, I'm not your stalker!"

"What about Tsujiku?" Mark countered.

"I'm a damned tourist, Mark! I'm supposed to go to these places! You've lived here! How… what… shit! If anything you are stalking me! I didn't know about the damn soba place! In a fish market of all places!"

And the last was, well... needless to say, he hadn't expected a Mark Tuan to be at the morning fish market - like really? Who really decides that a fish market is a good place to wandering around in the wee small hours of the morning just to have a bowl of soba? Mark Tuan apparently. Yokohama may have been mentioned as they took part in the sharing a plate of fresh sashimi before waiting in line at Inuoe for a steaming bowl of shoyu ramen that Jaebeom had to admit was worth coming in for. That chicken broth was so good.

See - nothing that was stalker material. If anything, Jaebeom could have been easily swayed into thinking that it was actually Mark who was stalking _him_.

"Aw is my little pup pouting?"

Semi-jokingly, he pushed against the older man then stopped. _Did Mark just pull him closer into him?_ Jaebeom felt his heart skip before thudding harder and faster. He attempted to pull away slightly, trying to create a slight distance so that Mark wouldn't feel his rapid fire pulse.

Again Jaebeom felt the other pull him into his side tighter still. JB whimpered slightly, even though he wanted nothing more than to fall into this man's side and stay there. He pulled away only to be pulled back again, and then it became a silent tug-of-war between them.

No matter where they met, nor for how long their interaction was -- each time they had met... For Jaebeom, it was a frazzled, churning, seething mass of emotions, complete with wank material for the night shower, bed, and morning shower. And Jaebeom knew that no matter how many times he met Mark, his wank bank was filled up with more and more scenarios than he could shake his stick at. This here - this arm over his shoulder and around his neck; this draping of Mark Tuan over his own body - this was not helping. It was adding even more fuel to the fire so to speak. He could feel the heat from Mark's body, he could smell the mix of cologne, deodorant and Mark's own scent, and dear God, he could feel the press of Mark's body against his own as they walked along. He kept trying to pull away, but the athletic man was surprisingly strong. That and Jaebeom wasn't really trying that hard to get away.

Finally, he gave up and just settled in against Mark's side. There was a seemingly satisfied 'Mmm' sound from the other man that irritated yet pleased Jaebeom - secretly that is. He wasn't about to let on that he was happy about it. Not at all.

They ambled along quietly, content to walk and bask in the sun that bore down on them. The road they were on was one of many backstreets, silent and empty, save a few passerbys. There was a pleasure found in the comforting presence of one another and in the quietness of the air. There was little traffic in the back streets, so only a few cars passed them, a van or two and the occasional truck. Even traffic was softer here, less intrusive, and so Jaebeom and Mark felt they were in their own world.

Mark's fingers were stroking the side of Jaebeom's neck, sending frissons of excitement down the younger man's body straight to his groin. He didn't want to enjoy it, but he knew that he'd be lying. Jaebeom made a huffing sound - just to appease himself that he wasn't really enjoying this. He didn't want Mark to think he was easy. But maybe Mark already got that memo as Mark teased his heated skin with his fingertips.

"Aish! Why are you doing this?" he grumbled. He wanted to sound more upset, more irate, but he knew his heart wasn't in it. Instead he just sounded like a disgruntled child who didn't get his favourite ice cream flavour. He wanted to wrap his own arm around the back of this man and let his hands feel what this man would feel like beneath his fingers. He wanted to plant his mouth on that side of that jaw. Jaebeom looked at the other man as Mark pulled him closer again. _Mark was going to be the death of him._

"Why am I doing what?" Mark looked at him, with one brow raised, a questioning look, if anything, and Jaebeom wondered fleetingly if that was an act or truth. Jaebeom could have sworn Mark was hiding behind a facade of innocence. He swallowed hard as he looked down at the other man's face, wanting to hold it between his hands and kiss that mouth.

Jaebeom gestured to Mark's arm wrapped tightly around him. "This .. this!"

The delighted grin on Mark's face combined with Mark's tone was somewhat teasing, maybe a little flirtatious. "This 'what', Jaebeom? Use your words."

He couldn't. Mark grinned, flashing those canines again; and Jaebeom could have sworn he swooned like a texan maiden fresh from her daddy's plantation for a moment and he was glad for Mark's arm around him. _I'm so trash right now._ He couldn't help but think that he would do anything for this man. Anything. Jaebeom internally groaned - something he seemed to be getting very good at these days around every interaction with one Mark Tuan. He liked the teasing, but he was also wanting to know if this was teasing as friends or teasing because the older man was interested in him. _All because my dick is horny._

"How is it that you are doing this? And why?" he grunted out, starting to get both excited and yet frustrated at Mark.

"What?"

"This."

"What is 'this'? I'm not following." Mark's brows rose in query.

"Yes, you are!" Jaebeom was getting irritated at what he felt was Mark's deliberate obtuseness. He could feel himself gritting his teeth and he was so sure that his trademark jutting chin would be making an appearance soon. He was often teased about how his chin would come out when he got annoyed.

"Clearly I'm not because I'm confused."

"Are you?!" Jaebeom all but shouted.

Mark reared back. "Am I what?"

"Confused!"

The other man's brows furrowed and drew together. _Great, he frowns prettily too._

"What? Jaebeom…?"

"Mark, are you confused?" Jaebeom asked exasperation evident in his voice. _What was so difficult about all this? Oh my god! It was an easy question!_

Mark stopped in his tracks. He turned to face Jaebeom fully. He narrowed his eyes at Jaebeom. There was a long pause and Jaebeom could feel Mark's eyes searching over his face. There was a moment, when Mark's eyes lingered on his mouth, that made Jaebeom's heart splutter to a stop before starting again but instead beating in triple time. And when his eyes searched over Jaebeom's face, meeting his eyes, then his mouth, then back to his eyes… _dear God_...

"No," Mark said finally. "I'm really _not_ confused. Are _you_?" There seemed to be more weight in those words then there should have been and Jaebeom got the disconcerting feeling that he and Mark were now discussing something entirely different than what they had started with.

"I don't know what we are talking about anymore." His voice came out shaky, surprising him. Jaebeom didn't know where this conversation had turned to but he got the feeling it was no longer about the same thing. "I don't think I'm confused?"

Mark made a small noise beneath his breath, straightened and pulled away. Jaebeom felt bereft of his arm and his closeness. And a distinct feeling that maybe he came out lacking in whatever Mark was searching for in his face. Jaebeom didn't like that feeling.

"Well, as much as this has been pleasant, I turn this way and unless you are going to come to where I'm staying in Yokohama, I don't think you are heading the right way."

Jaebeom looked around, registering that he wasn't where he probably wanted to to be. He opened his phone and looked down at his map. He flicked his thumb over his screen trying to work out where he was in relation to the gallery he'd been angling toward. "How is it that you managed to lead me astray? Aish… really?!"

Mark burst out laughing. " _Hontoni!_ That is Japanese for really," Mark helpfully supplied, smirking at him. "And yes really. I didn't lead you; you came willingly along with me. Now, practice your Japanese. You'll need it."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because we are in Japan, dumbass."

 _Oh._ "Oh."

"What, Jaebeom?" Mark stepped back into his personal space, so close Jaebeom could feel the heat radiating off him and slid his hand to the back of Jaebeom's neck. Mark's voice dropped low; sultry and sexy to Jaebeom's ears. "Did you want me to say something else? Like so I can make you cry out in two languages when we fuck?"

All the breath left Jaebeom. His brain short circuited. Unbidden the images came to him -- Mark gasping for breath, his neck arched back, that beautiful pale neck that would look so good with his hand wrapped around it. He could still hear the echoes of Mark growling in his ear " _Jaebeom…_ " from Starbucks the other day. He chewed on his lip as he looked at Mark from beneath his lashes, holding his breath for an answer.

Mark gave his nape a tight squeeze before dropping his arm and moving to cross the narrow back street in the other direction. Jaebeom couldn't help but watch him as he left, the lithe figure capturing his gaze as he walked to the crossing. Why was he always leaving? And why was he always leaving when Jaebeom felt like jumping on him?

He was still watching as Mark stood to wait at the lights, so he didn't miss it when Mark turned back to Jaebeom. "I hear there is a great Korean restaurant in Shin Okubo," Mark called out, his tone soft.

"Um, ok?" Jaebeom was confused as to where this was going. He spread his hands out in a 'what?' gesture, indicating his confusion.

Mark smiled at him. Jaebeom thought it was the most angelic smile he'd seen in a long time. "At least, this way you can have half the location worked out beforehand." Mark's tone turned jovial once more, the teasing lilt back in his voice. He walked backward as he crossed the road, still talking, his voice rising to be heard above traffic. "Japan's pretty big, you know, and I figured you wanted a heads up that I wasn't going to be in Yokohama." He stopped when he reached the other side, standing on the opposite corner, his bottom lip caught by his teeth as he smirked back at Jaebeom. "It will make your stalking that much easier."

Jaebeom's irritation came back full force. "I'm not your stalker… oh, you know what, forget it!"

Then that wink - that goddamn wink before Mark sauntered off. Jaebeom found himself grinning at the older man's back. He shoved his phone in his pocket and almost stepped out onto the road, before engaging his brain and quickly getting his bearings back as a car beeped at him - the signal hadn't yet changed.

At least not on the road.

But - and Jaebeom was pretty sure he'd read them correctly - the signals between he and Mark? They had definitely changed. Hadn't they? Had they? Had he read the signals that Mark was giving him correctly? He took a deep breath. He opened his phone. He wasn't looking up Shin Okubo … nope.

He wasn't going to look for … _Koreatown_. Shin Okubo was Tokyo's Koreatown.

He dropped his hand and looked back towards the still retreating figure down the street.

 _Damn_.

Mark knew he wouldn't give up a decent Korean meal to avoid him. His mouth salivated at the thought of BBQ or a decent kimchi jjigae. Tonight he actually _would_ be Mark Tuan's stalker because he was going to follow that man to Koreatown.

_Well played Mark. Well played._

God, he hated it when the Universe was on the other person's side.

  


* * * * *

 

 _God, he hated it when the Universe was on the other person's side._ Mark screamed silently into the pillow on his chest. Mark was pretty sure the Universe was conspiring everything to make sure that Mark was well aware of Jaebeom's presence.

And Mark was very very aware of Jaebeom's presence. All too aware.

"Oh my God! _Oh,_ my God. Oh, _my_ God. Oh my _God!_ "

"What are you 'Oh my God'-ing about?"

Mark lifted his head out of the cushion he'd buried his face into and looked across the room to the dark-haired man standing there with the toothbrush in his hand. "I'm a pathetic flirt," he wailed dramatically.

"So what's new?" The cushion went flying towards the other man. "Hey! Mark stop throwing my furniture around! Staying with me is one thing but throwing my furniture at me is another!"

"Aren't you even in the least bit sympathetic to me, Taecyeon?" Mark ground out.

"No. But that's why we work well together. We tell each other to grow a pair and move on."

Mark grumbled, "Not helping, Taec." He got up and grabbed the cushion, climbing back onto the couch and curling up into foetal position.

"Aw, is someone feeling sad that they didn't get all their treats today because they have no game?"

"Shut it."

"Hey, I can't help it if I have game and good looks. Now you however..."

"Hey! I have…"

"Good looks, no game."

"What the heck?" Mark sat up, all indignant for all of a moment before flopping back and conceding to the other man. "Ok, yes, that is true, I don't have game. But you don't have to keep reminding me," he grouched, pouting.

Taecyeon relented. "You have some, but it's truly awkward as fuck. I seriously don't know how you managed to get the guys you've gotten in the past." Taecyeon disappeared back into the bathroom where Mark could hear the water running.

Mark thought for a moment before calling back, "Hey I got you, didn't I?"

"One date Mark," Taecyeon called back. "One date. Those dad jokes fell way flat. You are lucky that sex was pretty fucking amazing."

Mark made a face. "You will never let me live that down, will you?" he called back to Taecyeon.

"Not ever, if ever." There was a promise in that intonation. "Now hurry up and get ready so we can head in. Whatever happened to 'oh I'll come out and visit you and we'll hang out in Yokohama and go to Chinatown.' No… Mark has to find some boy that he wants to dip his wick into and now we are going all the fucking way into Tokyo so his nuts can get off in Koreatown. Sheesh."

Oh my God, yes! He'd changed the plans on Taecyeon. So much for coming to visit him for the day.

"I'm sorry!" Mark raised his voice so he could be heard over the running water he could hear. "Did I mention that you are the bestest, most excellent, ex-boyfriend and friend, a man could ever hope for? And that I will seriously make it up to you by buying you all the meat you can eat tonight? And promise to get you so stinking drunk so you don't have to watch any awkward flirtations going on in front of your face?"

"Damn straight you owe me. I will collect, believe you me!"

Seriously, he owed Taecyeon, his friend, who happened to also be his ex, his very patient, patient ex-boyfriend who he'd promised to take to dinner for a long overdue catch up. Thank God, Taecyeon understood and was willing to go into Shin Okubo - all for a man that Mark may or may not be able to get in the form of one Im Jaebeom.

Curling up on the couch he couldn't help but think about how he'd handled the latest run in with Jaebeom. "Real smooth, Mark," he told himself. From start to finish he'd been awkward as fuck because he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around the broad shouldered man, to bury his face in the side of his neck and breathe in his scent. Then kiss his way up to that delectable mouth, maybe with a segue to the ear and a teasing tonguing around those earrings he spied there.

Mark wasn't sure what possessed him to taunt and tease Jaebeom the way he did every time they met, but he felt compelled to. He couldn't help it. But Mark was conscious of the fact that it had been a long time since he had flirted and teased anyone so he wasn't even sure if he had game anymore. Youngjae had been his first foray in a long while. Well, outside of a club and being drunk and ending up with someone he found off the dance floor when he had been pathetically desperate for human touch, that is. And even then Youngjae had been the one who teased him more than Mark had teased. Was he coming across as flirty or creepy? Chic? Or sexy? Desperate and needy? Mark groaned, turning on his side and clasping his arms over his head. God, he hoped he was coming across as less needy and more sexy. Fuck!

With Jaebeom, Mark felt confident that he had some game. He felt confident to slip out remarks that were seemingly innocent, yet were r-rated, and non-filtered. After all, Jaebeom had read those very sexual messages from Youngjae and yet had still kept talking to Mark. This had intrigued Mark enough to want to tease him. Whether the comments were really a good idea or not was anybody's guess. And when Jaebeom got angry or annoyed he would do that jutting out chin thing of his and it was so endearing to Mark that he couldn't help but push Jaebeom's buttons just to see it happen. Why was he so thirsty for this man?

Talk of thirst... He could drink a well dry, he was that thirsty. And Jaebeom -- he was an oasis. Like a water-laden oasis in the middle of the Sahra desert. Insanely attractive, especially with his naturally cute aegyo, he made Mark want to bait him often just to see that cuteness come out. And at the same time, jump his bones. To slake his thirst so to speak. Often. A lot. Always.

He'd been moderately surprised when he saw the figure in his little bucket hat with his backpack waiting at the lights in the middle of Yokohama. After all, he'd last seen him in Chuo, Tokyo.

But he had already worked out that the universe had a funny way of making things happen. In fact, Mark had grown suspicious of the universe's plan as it seemed that that man was being thrown at him from every part of Tokyo City. And it seemed the universe had expanded to include Yokohama - the second largest city in Japan was no exception it seemed.

He really did wonder at times if Jaebeom was stalking him or whether all of this was a happy spate of coincidences. Happy? Worrying? Confusing? Disturbing? All of these things - all at the same time. It had worried Mark at first but he decided if the universe wanted to make it happen then who was he to try to stop it? After all, there was something about meeting a person over and over again by coincidence that would make for the best how-I-met-your-father story in the future and how cute he was...

And oh God, Jaebeom had looked so cute.

Mark was sure Jaebeom had no clue as to how good looking he was. Mark was equally sure that he himself hadn't had a clue until his body had clued him in of the attraction to that dark haired man.

Mark bit down into the cushion he was crushing to his chest.

Jaebeom had looked so delicious, standing there with that ridiculous hat and with that look on his face of 'where the hell am I?' with his big sneakers, distressed jeans and bright red hoodie topped with that gormless bucket hat and then when his face switched to that helpless 'I'm so lost I have no clue' look on his face...

It had all added up to making Mark walk towards the man and call out to him.

But holy fuckballs Batman… that look in Jaebeom's eyes as he'd looked at Mark slowly from the ground up -- like he'd wanted to eat him. And Mark was okay with that. Mark had felt that rush of excitement, that bit of adrenaline course through him, making little Mark get hard at the unexpected but not unwanted attention. He'd had been acutely aware of Jaebeom's hungry look as he'd approached him and that had encouraged Mark to throw his arm around the other man's shoulders. Had he had the chance, he maybe would have thrown his legs around him too, but hey, public place and all that.

But … fuck, why oh why did he ask Jaebeom if he'd seen anything good apart from him? And the... ' "Did you want me to say something else? Like so I can make you cry out in two languages when we fuck?" '

Mark cringed into the cushion for the umpteenth time. "Oh my God! Why???" Whatever possessed him to say that? Mark curled tighter around the cushion in sheer mortification at the memory. Then he stopped as he took the time to remember Jaebeom's reaction and he slowly unwound from the cushion.

The reaction that he had gotten from Jaebeom after he'd all but growled that out to him was not at all what he'd expected. Not at all. That stupid beautiful man had started to chew on his lip. And Mark had been hard pressed to not react to that. He'd wanted to unfurl that lower lip from beneath the other's man's teeth with his thumb, slide his digit along his lip feeling the softness beneath that pad of his thumb, before replacing his thumb with his mouth. Firmly. Then softly. Then teasingly. And finally, with tongue. Mark groaned at the thought of sliding his tongue inside the brunet's warmth, feeling the touch of his tongue against his, feeling the vibrations as the younger man groaned into his mouth...

Okay, now he was more horny, less embarrassed.

"Argh!" He growled into the poor tortured cushion on his lap. He was sorely tempted to bite the stupid thing and wrench it side to side like a puppy in his frustration at his idiocy. He flopped back, thinking hard about ice cubes and cold showers…

He knows that the bright spark thing would be to ask for a phone number. He'd wanted to ask for his number, but then the shyness, the fear of being rejected rose and he questioned himself - perhaps that was too forward? Too much pressure?

But no… Mark had barely managed to contain himself…. He'd only managed to gather himself and pushed himself away from leaping on the unsuspecting man. And even then Mark had still been torn between grabbing him and kissing the bejesus out of him anyway, or refrain and restrain himself and keep it to PG level by suggesting to spend some actual time with him, or just hope that the world would somehow bring them back together again.

Although in hindsight, he _had_ just asked the guy if he'd wanted to be fucked by him. A phone number would be nothing in comparison.

Instead, what idiot decided to invite a stranger to come stalk him? "Shit! Why am I such a fucking idiot?!"

It had been a debate in his head as he'd stood there by the lights waiting to cross whether he would ask him to dinner. But in the end, he'd given in and compromised by telling Jaebeom he was heading into Shin Okubo. He had silently thrown out an apology to one Ok Taecyeon, while also fervently hoping that Jaebeom would be there; fully prepared to spend the night being tormented by today's events as he had been with all the other times they'd inadvertently met..

"Jesus fuck what have I done?" before burying his face again back into the cushion. Mark was so ashamed of his own self. Thirsty much? He groaned and pulled himself off the couch and into the bathroom. He leaned on the doorjamb as he waited for Taecyeon to finish using the sink. "Whatever possessed you to have a place in Yokohama, anyway?"

The dark-haired man lifted his head and met Mark's eyes through the mirror. "It's pretty and far away from you?"

"I'm in a whole other country away from you - how much further do you want to be?"

"I didn't want to be in Tokyo anymore. You weren't there so I had nothing to keep me there."

"You love me," Mark started to tease, but stopped as he saw the look cross Taecyeon's face. "I'm sorry," he said softly. He knew that he and Taecyeon still had some feelings to work through.

Taecyeon leaned against the edge of the vanity, his eyes still gazing at Mark's through the mirror, his arms braced and taut against the cold porcelain. "I did love you, you know. Then you left."

Mark sighed. "But you know why. And why it was better that way." He walked over to Taecyeon and back hugged the half naked man.

Taecyeon turned and wrapped his arms around the shorter man. "It doesn't stop it from hurting Mark." They stayed that way for a moment, both dealing with their thoughts. Taecyeon murmured, "You know, I have forgiven you for moving away like that. It was unexpected, but you couldn't help it. I just… I just expected you to come back."

Mark sighed. "I know. But…"

"It's ok. I understand."

"I cared for you Taec."

"I know. It's what made it hurt..." Mark pulled his head away from the other man's chest and looked up at the taller man. Taecyeon smiled down at him, one hand coming up to brush Mark's hair from his face with a gentle hand. "...knowing that you hurt yourself in the decision too." He leaned forward, brushing his lips lightly across Mark's before pulling his head back and smiling. Mark raised startled eyes to him. Taecyeon chuckled softly. "Sorry, your lips are irresistible. I just had to try them once more. You know... You're always giving up selflessly for other people. You need to start looking after yourself too, Mark. Work out what is right for you and go chase after the things you want, not what everyone else is expecting of you. You won't get told off for going after your dreams. Well, not anymore."

The silence loomed as the elephant in the room was addressed.

"I know," Mark replied softly. "It's just… I miss them. All of them."

"Talk to them."

"I can't."

"You can, Mark. Your sister talks to you. When did you last talk to Tammy?"

"The other day. I called her and spoke to her and the girls."

"When are you going to go back to see them?"

Mark held on tighter to Taecyeon, burrowing his face into his chest. He shook his head against the other man's skin. "I-I can't."

He felt the other man's hands rubbing his back in comfort and he gratefully accepted it. They stayed that way for a while, Taecyeon resting his chin on Mark's head, Mark just breathing, arms wrapped around one another.

"Now come on… I believe there is a stalker you want to introduce me to." Taecyeon's tone was light.

Mark cleared his throat and attempted to meet the same tone. "Ah, Taecyeon! Don't you dare call him that to his face! I'm trusting you!"

"Mark. _Mark_. Mark! I am nothing if not discreet. I can keep quiet if I have to."

Mark glared at him. " Are you serious right now? Discreet? I have never met a more indiscreet person! You blurt out shit that people are so mortified that they beg for the ground to open up beneath them! Remember Sunny? She was so unimpressed with you. You outed her to her friends that she was seeing that guy. After you promised to keep it on the down low too."

"Oh, but yeah, they needed to come out. He wasn't going to progress with the relationship unless it was out there."

"And the justification behind Mimzi and the story of how she fell into lake up near Hokkaido and had to strip off and drive home naked?"

"She said it herself - it was funny!"

"But it was her story to tell, Taec!"

"I told it better. And besides, who outed Jackson huh? The literal out of the closet story? During seven minutes?"

Mark exclaimed, "I didn't know he was getting jacked off by a guy in the hall cupboard when I opened it! And besides, this is about you."

"Hey!" Taecyeon held his hands up in defense. "No, it's about you and that guy. Who made all the noises this afternoon huh? It wasn't me moaning a certain man's name after he came back home. And it was not me who wanted said man to tell him to cum. We share a damn wall, Mark. I heard it all. It took me back to our apartment - good times. Hearing you fapping in your bed - did you forget the walls are thin here?"

Mark hit the taller man. "I swear to God, Taec, if you say any of that or make any mention of it or even insinuate that I might like him…"

"You're going to thank me?" The older grinned, leaving Mark in the bathroom.

"You're a fuck, you know that?"

"Yep but I have game."

Mark could hear Taecyeon chuckling down the hallway. He stared at himself in the mirror wryly. "That man - he irks us."

 

* * * * *

 

He was nervous, he realised as his shook his leg on the train journey across from Yokohama. And switched lines to head to Shinjuku and Shin Okubo. What if Jaebeom didn't come?

"Relax," said Taecyeon as they got off the train and strolled through the Shin Okubo station.

"Easy for you to say."

They made their down the stairs. "Hey don't worry. We'll see him. He'll laugh. You'll laugh. You introduce us. I ask him to join us for a meal. He'll sit with us. And then you can spend the night feasting your eyes on his face, ogling his body… ow! What was that for?"

"Shut. Up."

They swerved around people who had stopped in a group. "Aw, is little Markiepooh upset that I hit the nail on the head? Or should I say Little Mark's head. Isn't that what all this is about? Your dick doing the decision making for you?"

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

"Ok, but I don't like you very much right now."

"That's because I'm not some stranger that called to your dick." Taecyeon narrowly avoided stepping on a kid who was attempting to walk through his long legs.

"Hey! He hasn't called it… yet."

They turned the corner. Mark noticed him first and the adrenaline filled him and he started to walk with a little more bounce in his step.

Taecyeon noticed Jaebeom too - from the bucket hat that Mark had described. "Oh is that him there?"

"What? Oh my God. Yes. Shit. Did he camp out at the station? Yeah, that's him."

"What's with the bucket hat?" Taecyeon asked out of the corner of his mouth.

"I have no idea." Mark sidled back.

Taecyeon gave a choked laugh. "You know… that bucket hat makes him look like a penis. That's why you like him - because he reminds you of head."

Mark paused, looking hard at Jaebeom.

Taecyeon leaned down to whisper in Mark's ear. "You will never get that image out of your head. Ever. Burn the bucket hat when you date him or be prepared to be at full mast everytime he wears it."

Mark cursed. "I hope you go to hell, Ok Taecyeon."

"Believe me, I have a first class ticket already. Let's go meet your bucket hat wearing penis boy."

"You're a fuck, Taecyeon."

"Send me an invite to the wedding. Or a sex tape… ow... ow... ow… Stop hitting me!"

  


* * * * *

 

As he watched Mark hitting some man while laughing in the train station, Jaebeom realised with all the something of being hit by a train, he had a crush on one Mark Tuan.

Whether it was on the way to Shin Okubo after Mark's blatant invitation to stalk him, or while in the shower thinking about whether it was a good idea or not to follow through with this mad cap idea to go across to Tokyo just for dinner, or whether it was while wandering around Shin Okubo itself trying to work out when and where he would "bump" inadvertently to one unsurprised Mark Tuan - Jaebeom wouldn't really know the how or when or why, but he knew when Mark had his hands on someone else that he'd be able to tell people in the future that he knew the exact time when he realised he liked Mark Tuan more than just as a friend.

He just knew that here he was, looking for that smile, on the handsome face beneath that mop of blond hair, with those piercing eyes that seemed to hold the very essence of what looked like 'home'.

He also realised then that he was screwed.

Because this fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach; this highly anticipatory feeling of seeing even one glimpse of that smile from that man; this was all very reminiscent of how he had fallen, ten years ago, in love with one Park Jinyoung.

Fuck.

Jaebeom stopped in his tracks.

Love?

Really?

When he had just come out of a long term relationship where they were basically married and together and not been with anyone else? Really? This can't be love. It's too soon. It's too... _Oh my god_. He turned blindly and walked with hurried steps back the way he came...

But remember how the universe has a perverse sense of humour?

The man he'd been searching for was coming out of the train station. And Mark was walking with the man he'd been hitting … _Wait, hold up…_

"Jaebeom! Im Jaebeom! Stalker boy!" Mark called out as Jaebeom stopped at the entrance - shocked.

_Jinyoung?_

A man was walking along the road and Jaebeom could have sworn it was Jinyoung - _his_ ex, Park Jinyoung. _Turn around,_ he willed silently while also praying that he wouldn't. Apparently, the universe liked him a lot o maybe it didn't - he wasn't sure - because the man turned as Mark called out his name and their eyes met and Jinyoung's eyes mirrored the shock and surprise that Jaebeom was sure was in his own.

"Well, fuck." Jinyoung's words always did echo Jaebeom's sentiments accurately.

The awkward was definitely in the air. There was Jinyoung and Jaebeom and Mark and Taecyeon - all frozen in time at Jinyoung's words.

"Nice. That's what you say after all this time?" Jaebeom said dryly. His body was tense.

"Jaebeom." Jinyoung was stiff after his moment of cursing. Jaebeom could read him like a book still.

"Jinyoung." Jaebeom was less curt and more polite back. He forced himself to relax, forcing the tension in his body to leave him as he observed Jinyoung. He wanted to be the bigger man.

"Mark," supplied Mark helpfully, looking discreetly between the two Korean men.

"Donkey." Apparently, Taecyeon felt compelled to add his two cents worth.

Jinyoung snorted as did Mark.

"That'll do pig," Mark sidelined to Taecyeon. "That'll do."

The shorter dark-haired man stepped forward. "I'm Park Jinyoung, nice to meet you, Mark and … Donkey was it?" Well, Jinyoung always knew to use his manners, no matter how he felt nor how unfortable the situation may be, and how to make light of a situation, but his next words made Jaebeom seethe inside. "I didn't know Jaebeom was in Japan," he gave Jaebeom a slight smirk, "...let alone that Jaebeom _knew_ people _in_ Japan."

Jaebeom panicked and looked at Mark for a second. Instead, Taecyeon stepped into the breach. "Oh, didn't JB tell you? I was _sure_ he told all the _important_ people that he was travelling. I'm Ok Taecyeon. Nice to meet you, Jinyoung. This is my friend Mark Tuan. How are you? _Very_ pleasant to meet you. How long are you staying in Japan? I'm assuming you are only visiting, right?"

He watched as the taller man held out his hand to his ex who took it because well, manners. But wow, what a zinger to Jinyoung. Jaebeom had to hand it to Taecyeon - he knew how to read the situation. Jaebeom wasn't so sure about the nickname 'JB' when he had yet to meet the guy Taecyeon properly himself, but Jaebeom had to admit, shortening his name on purpose implied a closeness between them. _Score for Taecyeon counts as Jaebeom's right? Jaebeom 1: Jinyoung 0._

"Only a few days, this is my first time." Jinyoung was still eyeing Jaebeom sideways. "I've always wanted to come, but it was never the right time."

Jaebeom raised his brows disbelievingly. _Never the right time?_ He dropped his head, staring at the ground as he bristled internally. He felt Mark slide up to his side, gently reassuring him.

"Ah, JB said something similar. Funny that." Taecyeon stepped back and clamped a hand on Jaebeom's shoulder, startling him. "It's been good showing JB here finally around Tokyo. Been angling for him to come over for ages, but he's always had something holding him back."

 _Implication - Jinyoung._ Jaebeom was taking it. _Jaebeom 2: Jinyoung 0._

"They've been lots of places since they arrived, haven't you, JB? Where was it the two of you went, Mark? Shibuya and Shinjuku right? And the Skytree? And of course, Yokohama."

 _How_ ? Jaebeom looked at Taecyeon - _how did he know? Oh. Right. Mark. Hang on, was he implying…?_

Mark took over the conversation... and Jaebeom's hand. Jaebeom could only stare dumbly at their intertwined hands before staring wide-eyed at his ex.

"Tsukiji Market was the best. Poor Jaebeommie was overwhelmed _,_ " Jaebeom could see that Mark was eyeing Jinyoung and felt gratified when he noticed his ex narrow his eyes at both the hand holding and the pet name Mark gave him. "... by the the auctions and then I had to drag him to get soba after our sashimi because he was like a baby and kept complaining about how cold he was."

"Hey!" objected Jaebeom, finally finding his voice. "It was cold at the fish market and I was unprepared for how cool it would be there at that time of the morning. I can't believe how this is being turned and used against me right now." He turned to Mark, a little annoyed, "I complained, like, one time!"

Mark stepped closer and wrapped an arm around Jaebeom's back. He could feel the warmth through their clothes and it was both calming, yet exciting to him. _Shit. Shouldn't he be feeling awkward or in some sort of pain? Should he be feeling this much excitement when his ex was right in front of him in this very awkward situation?_

He turned to focus his eyes on the ground embarrassed by his reaction, but felt Mark slide a palm onto his cheek. It felt like a brand across his skin. He turned back with the slight pressure to meet Mark's eyes, and his breath caught in his throat when he met that gaze. Jaebeom knew Mark was purposefully creating an intimate moment between the two of them in front of Jinyoung, but god, he really just wanted to drown in those eyes for real. Mark Tuan was heartbreakingly beautiful at close range. Jaebeom tensed up at the thought that he could lose his heart to this man.

"Shh… it's ok. It was more fun warming you up later. We can do a repeat screening of that later, baby," Mark said softly, his voice gently low and intimate but loud enough for Jinyoung to hear.

Jaebeom swore silently. _Holy fuck. Kill me now._ He knew that Jinyoung would probably pick up the uncomfortableness in Jaebeom's stance. He hoped that Jinyoung would put it down to being uncomfortable at the public display of affection in front of him. But in reality, Jaebeom felt uncomfortable because his skin had heated up, his palms were sweaty, his stomach clenched tight and his mind was on overdrive at the picture Mark's words had implicated. And combined with the look on Mark's face, the younger felt his dick stir at both the implied hint and the future promise. He wanted that desperately. _God, if only._ His mind was like Jinyoung who?

He took shameless advantage of the situation to grasp the blond holding him in his arms, noting the differences in their builds, the slim figure gently pressed against his. He gently clasped his hands on the other man's hips. He really wanted to kiss Mark right now. But he opted for a warm, "Did I ever thank you for that morning? And the night before?"

Mark flushed prettily. Feeling a little guilty at using this to his advantage, Jaebeom pressed his forehead onto the shorter man. "Remind me to thank you properly later," he said with a husk in his voice. Mark bit his lip, with heat in his eyes and Jaebeom had to stop himself from chasing the tongue that dipped out to wet his full pink lips.

Vaguely, he registered Taecyeon talking. "Oh, come on, you two. Get a room. Sorry, they're always like this. Forgetting about us mere mortals that are like standing around them feeling uncomfortable. At least, this time, their hands are above their clothing," Jaebeom heard Taecyeon say to Jinyoung. He shivered as Mark's thumb brushed over his cheek. He stuck his tongue at the corner of his mouth, gently biting down to stop himself falling onto Mark's lips and embarrassing himself. But Mark touched his thumb to the tip of his tongue before tracing his lips and it was all Jaebeom could do to not nip and suck on that digit in front of these people.

Dimly, he heard as Jinyoung hmmed, "I see." He glanced sideways. The shorter brunet bowed as he said his parting words to Taecyeon, and to them all in general. "Well, I have to go. It was nice to meet you both. Jaebeom, I will see you around. Maybe when you are back home, we could talk?"

It grew more awkward until Jaebeom finally registered that Jinyoung was waiting for an actual answer. He finally filtered what his ex had said; Mark was cupping his face tenderly, their eyes still locked on one another and Jaebeom found it hard to focus. "Oh! Um, sure. Yes." Jaebeom's tone was dismissive.

He felt Jinyoung take his arm abruptly and surprised, he turned to look at him with a frown. Jaebeom swallowed hard, looking at those familiar fingers grasping his arm. Currents ran up his arm.

"It _is_ nice to see you, Jaebeom," Jinyoung said softly. "And w-while it stings a bit, I-I'm glad to see you happy." Jaebeom was stunned into silence at his declaration. _How so unlike Jinyoung._ He could only watch stupefied as Jinyoung turned to Mark. "Take care of him. He's worth it."

_What the fuck?_

Mark had dropped his hand from Jaebeom's face when Jaebeom had turned to look at Jinyoung, but had instead wrapped his arms loosely around Jaebeom's waist. His eyes were hard when he stared at Jinyoung, but soft when he looked at Jaebeom.

"I know. I pity the man who let this treasure go. They didn't know what they had." He looked back at Jinyoung, his message clear as he declared, "I don't intend on being that much of a fool."

Jinyoung bowed in acknowledgement before turning and walking away. Jaebeom watched his ex walk away without so much as a glance backward. He breathed a sigh but he wasn't sure if it was of relief, or of disappointment, but he knew it wasn't as much pain. Sure there was still pain, but it was definitely better. He was glad he hadn't met Jinyoung by himself though. Tears pricked at this eyes, and he quickly blinked them back.

"A friend of yours, I take it?" murmured Mark.

His eyes still in the direction that his ex had disappeared in, but no longer in sight, Jaebeom nodded, jaw tight. "My ex," he rasped out, throat still tight.

"I figured as such. Pleasant fellow."

"He can be… until he's not."

They were silent for a while. Then Mark softly said, "I'll chalk this up as number seven on my personal stalker scale."

"Aiii..." Jaebeom swiveled his head to find Mark's face extremely close to his. He gulped. He'd forgotten that he was still standing within Mark's embrace. He swallowed as his eyes flitted quickly from the blond man's eyes and his lips. "I'm not a stalker," he managed to squeak out.

"Okay, so not a stalker. Just mine then," declared Mark softly, a hint of a smile appearing at the corner of his lips.

"Well, that was awkward and fun," interrupted Taecyeon. "Okay, you two lovebirds, let's go find some food now. I'm hungry. You owe me meat, Mark. Come on, JB. I'm assuming you're coming too, now that Mark finally has his hands on you."

Jaebeom heard Mark gasp - outraged. Then the blond threw his head back and laughed - a delighted happy laugh.

Jaebeom felt his heart grow with that delightfully happy sound. Then Mark turned to him and he felt pinned to the spot as Mark gave him one of those full-fledged smiles.

He was mesmerised. Totally, utterly and completely mesmerised. That smile completely changed Mark's face, turning him into the most perfect being on the planet.

He stared, stunned, at the blond still laughing and still holding him in his arms. His grip tightened momentarily on the slim man's hips. Here he was, having been put on the spot by a stranger's ex-boyfriend and yet he was laughing about it all. Mark didn't even really know him and yet he rescued him. Jaebeom felt overwhelmed with appreciation and gratefulness.

"Thank you," he said sincerity in his voice.

Mark nodded, acknowledging the thanks. Then he grinned impishly at Jaebeom. "You said you'd thank me _properly_ later," Mark teased.

Jaebeom's jaw dropped in astonishment, then he flushed hotly . "I-I-but-I…"

"Relax, _Jaebeommie_. I expect you to buy me dinner first. I'm not easy, you know. A fake relationship doesn't get you into my pants any sooner than a real one, you know."

Jaebeom felt mildly surprised at the emptiness he felt when Mark dropped his arms from around him, but the older man just his hand down his arm to hold his hand. Smiling stupidly, he let Mark intertwine their fingers before walking on, Jaebeom following blindly. Briefly, he glanced at Taecyeon who had a knowing look on his face. Jaebeom chose to ignore it.

"Thank you to you too. I owe you. Let me pay for dinner."

"Oh, I think Mark has that covered already. He owes me - plenty more now."

He took a couple of deep breaths as he followed the blond's lead through the crowd - his lungs felt free but his abdomen was full of fluttering butterflies - he was on fire from their connection. He had never felt this with Jinyoung - he was alive right now. It was scary but exhilarating. He would do anything for more of those smiles. As if on cue, Mark threw him another stunning smile and Jaebeom stumbled momentarily before righting himself.

He felt Taecyeon lean down to him. "Yeah, don't worry, I know how you feel. Those smiles will get you everytime. He doesn't know the weapon he wields. Be gentle with him."

His breath whooshed out of his lungs as he jerked up to turn startled eyes to Taecyeon's knowing gaze. There was a brief nod of acknowledgement between them before the taller dark haired man called for Mark to "Wait for us, you impatient meat hog. Stop dragging poor JB along! You aren't getting away with not feeding us tonight. You owe me! Big time! And I. Will. Eat!"

Jaebeom felt the world shift around him and then right itself. It suddenly felt different. He thought he rather liked it this way.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *runs away from the flying tomatoes*


	12. Post Ex Era

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the bombshell of meeting his ex in Tokyo, Jaebeom and Mark end up at a restaurant together, with friends. How will this go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... anyone curious about what happened next? This is not as long as the last chapter, but it's still a bit of a mammoth chapter to write for me. Hope you enjoy!

Mark's head was spinning as he led them through the crowd.

Jaebeom's hand was in his; the man that had been fuelling his desire recently; the man who he had barely stopped himself from leaping on earlier that very day; he was holding that man's hand. His hand.

Mark felt a bit wild-eyed and briefly wondered  if it showed - did he look like a madman storming through the streets of Tokyo, dragging a hapless victim along behind him? God, he hoped not. Fuck, it felt good though.

Jaebeom's hand being in his felt right. It felt... it felt so damned good and so damned right. Fuck. Was this a good idea? Was this a moron move to make? They say once your heart is involved, it all comes out in moron - is that what was happening now?

Part of his mind said 'We're doing this because what if we run into Jinyoung again, of course it was right'.

Another part of his mind was all, 'Don't you think you should discuss this with the hand's owner first?'

And the rest of him, a much larger part of him was screaming, 'This is good!!! Of course, this is right. Don't let go.'

A sudden mental image of Rose in Titanic briefly flashed through his mind, 'I'll never let go Jack, I'll never let go…' He shook his head to clear it, and glanced at Jaebeom who was now walking alongside him. The side profile made him catch his breath.

Dear Lord, thank you for this beautiful man. Now if you could make him just want me as much as I want him, that would be great. Oh and if you could just overlook the whole pre-marital fucking I intend on doing… oh wait, nevermind I'll ask a different deity. Dear ~~Lord~~ Lucifer, thanks for the temptation. I'm willing to sell my soul now. He's beautiful. I think you outdid yourself this time.

Mark was just lost in this man's beauty. His steps faltered and Jaebeom stopped with the sudden drag as Mark's feet slowed to a standstill. The dark haired men stopped, the shorter one looking back to Mark, one brow raised in query. He looked so fuckable, standing there, still holding Mark's hand, arm outstretched -- he was all cute and questioning with a slight smirk on that handsome face and Mark wanted to walk across and smush that face between his hands and kiss that mouth.

Mark bit his lip. Should he? Should he not? The devil sat on his shoulder and was egging him on, but Mark didn't want to be too forward. It might scare Jaebeom off after all and Mark wanted to collect on that 'thank you' eventually. But hey, remember the 'make you cry out in two languages while I fuck you?' Can't really lose after that.

Settled in his mind, he dropped the man's hand, bridging the gap between them, stared hard at Jaebeom for a moment before rising up on the balls of his feet. He planted a small kiss at the corner of Jaebeom's lips. His eyes widened slightly as he suddenly registered what he'd just done.

He quickly pulled back.

 _Shit_ . _Fuck_ . And now he was hard. _Fuck_.

The other man's eyes widened as Jaebeom's surprise registered on his face echoing Mark's shock at his own actions.

'Surprise!' said Mark's brain. 'Hurrah!' said Mark's cock.

The brunet lurched slightly as if to grab at Mark. Mark's eyes widened further, his mind quickly alternating between 'shit, step back!' and 'fuck kiss me already!' but Taecyeon took the choice away from the both of them.

"Really? Do I have to separate you two?" His voice was dry. Mark's eyes snapped on the taller one's face and noticed Jaebeom looking down at the ground, his face red. Taecyeon continued, "Let's leave dessert for later, huh?" He grabbed Mark's arm and started to drag him forward while throwing his words back towards the other man. "Come on, Jae _butt_. There's meat to be had and I'm not talking about Mark."

Argh! Mark was about to thank his friend but then he threw that kind of comment out and it was all Mark could do to not wish the ground would open up beneath him in that moment. Taecyeon was impossible. Instead, Mark hurriedly grabbed the younger man's hand again, pulling the suddenly pliant man along. He couldn't help smirking at the still stunned expression on Jaebeom's face.

Mark felt the compliance in the other man's steps beside his, their steps subconsciously matching in stride. The blond's heart pounded so hard he was almost certain that both Jaebeom and Taecyeon could hear it thumping against his rib cage.

But he didn't care.

He pulled the man a little closer to him and spoke quietly, "You alright there, Jaebeom?" The other man nodded, and Mark noticed the gulp he swallowed and he followed the line of Jaebeom's throat down to his collarbone with his hungry eyes. His eyes flicked up to meet the younger's dark eyed gaze. "That was just a small preview - I still expect dinner you know," he smiled devilishly at Jaebeom, teasing him further. "Just so you can imagine what you could get later…" He chuckled at the smirk on Jaebeom's face and the eyes that drew down his body heatedly. He tucked the man's hand into his side, feeling giddy. The answering clench in the hand that held his meant Mark's step was lighter, bouncier as he strode along, walking with the youngest man to a destination that for some would be just dinner... but for Mark - he sensed this would be leading both Mark and Jaebeom to a path of something else. A potentially raunchy path - he hoped - full of heart stopping, heart melting moments and deliciousness. And naked Jaebeom. Lots and lots of naked Jaebeom. Fuck yeah.

Yes. It could all go horribly wrong too. But that was ok. For Mark, it was enough that the world was suddenly a happier place and all the people in the world were slightly less irritating than they were yesterday.

That and his lips were tingling after being pressed against Jaebeom's skin. He almost prayed to cross paths with Jinyoung again so he could have the excuse to do it again soon. He spoke once more, "You know," he started casually, "... maybe we should just practice - you know, in case we meet up with Jinyoung again." He quirked a brow up at Jaebeom and drew his tongue along his lower lip. He heard and felt the deep breath the other man took before Jaebeom let it out somewhat shakily.

"Practice makes perfect," came Jaebeom's raspy answer against the bottom of his ear as he leaned into Mark. Mark shivered, as he felt a quick press of those lips against his skin there and the promise that came with those words.

 

* * * * *

Jaebeom's skin was still tingling from when Mark planted that kiss on him. The blond was always surprising him and he never quite knew when or where the man would do something that would take his breath away. That kiss came out of the blue - one minute they were walking, the next Mark had stopped. And when Jaebeom had turned around to look at him, wondering what had happened to cause the sudden stop, Mark just stepped up and kissed him.

With those full pink lips.

He'd quietly hoped that Jinyoung would cross paths with them so that maybe he could kiss Mark back. But then as Mark had suggested, they could just practice the kissing, in case Jinyoung was around. He almost couldn't believe his reply - practice makes perfect indeed. He ducked his head and smirked at the thought. He could recall the blond's surprised face. That face made Jaebeom think about what other faces Mark would wear… surprised, happy, sad, ecstatic, orgasmic… his balls tightened...

He looked around the room, his eyes darting desperately around, trying to lose the images before he got caught out with his dick jutting at full mast. The restaurant was a nice bbq place in Shin Okubo. Yep. Lots of Koreans, lots of Japanese. He quietly noted that the atmosphere was loud for Japan, but quiet for Korea with many tables mixtures of Koreans, Japanese and many other foreigners. The cacophony of different languages mixing in the air was not overwhelming but it was certainly notable. Korean BBQ certainly brought out both loudness and diversity. The room was full of people and already filled with the smells of cooking.

 

It had been making the men salivate as they argued over what they should order. Mark and Taecyeon overrode Jaebeom's offer to buy them dinner and quickly ordered all the things they all wanted before sitting back to wait for their drinks. Jaebeom managed to calm his thoughts down as they sat there, but he was very aware of the blond sitting in such close proximity to him. They both sat to one side of the table for four. He and Mark on one side, Taecyeon and a spare seat on the other. The spare seat was for later on when a friend of Taecyeon's would be turning up too - Jang Wooyoung. From what he had understood, this was Taecyeon's special friend, but they hadn't formalised it enough to be called boyfriends yet. And Jang Wooyoung also knew Mark.

Jaebeom was already nervous with anticipation of how this night was turning out, and he was getting nervous with the advent of meeting yet another of Mark's friends. Especially when all he seemed to focus on was the heat that radiated at his side from the other man's body, the brushing of their thighs next to one another, and the occasional brush against each other's arms. His brain kept short-circuiting every time.

As their drinks arrived, Jaebeom again brought up wanting to pay but Taecyeon overrode him.

"Thank you. You don't have to do this you know. You didn't have to bring me along." Jaebeom mumbled as they sat there waiting for Wooyoung to arrive.

"I know but, you know, it was difficult to detach Mark's new accessory," Taecyeon teased.

Jaebeom mocked pretend outrage. "Hey!" He feigned hurt as he looked at Mark.

Mark just grinned at him before arguing with Taecyeon about whether kimchi was self serve or not in this restaurant. The grin - small gesture as it was - made Jaebeom smile happily and he settled back in his chair with a little wiggle. If he was a cat, he would have purred.

Jaebeom was glad he was with them. The two had been adamant about dragging him along with them and paying for him and it was comforting in a way after that intense awkwardness with Jinyoung.

They didn't know him, yet they trusted him - even they only knew him through all the unusual meetings with Mark - but trusted him enough to take him with them to dinner. It made him extremely thankful for meeting Mark in Japan - even though it had been an unusual way to meet. Definitely an interesting how-I-met-a-stranger kind of story.

And Mark's friend  - he seemed to be similar to Mark; grounded, friendly and authentic. For all his teasing, Taecyeon seemed very fond of Mark, and Jaebeom felt a warmth from this man whom he met barely thirty minutes ago. Jaebeom was thankful for that, and for them.

He was a bit… - embarrassed was the wrong word, maybe more mortified was closer to accurate -- that these two guys who he didn't even really know stood up for him against an ex that he was a little bit scared to meet because of his own fear of being in pain. And his fear that he would show Jinyoung how weak he really was and just how he'd been devastated after he'd left.

But thanks to Mark and Taecyeon, he'd been able to hide that from Jinyoung, flipped the tables on him so to speak. He was a bit happy and yet also a little bit sad. After all, this was the man he had loved for over ten years; he didn't really wish pain on him. A part of him still - and would always - love Jinyoungie. You don't share that many significant moments of your life with someone to just throw them all away because they were no longer in your life. Jaebeom was just grateful to have a rock to cling to in the storm that had been Jinyoung.

 

* * * * *

 

Mark looked across at Taecyeon who was conversing with Jaebeom. He watched with interest as the lean man sat so casually with the man whom his ex (Mark) was interested in. He watched with gratitude as Taecyeon encouraged Jaebeom to relax and feel at ease. He felt gratified that even those many years ago, he had chosen a good person in which to confide in, to share part of his life with. And that Taecyeon continued to be that good a person even after they were no longer together. That type of person wasn't easily found. Mark counted himself lucky, especially when his time with Taecyeon had held some particularly significant moments in his life. You don't share that many significant moments of your life with someone to just throw them all away because they were no longer in your life.

When Taecyeon disappeared to the bathroom, Mark noticed Jaebeom sitting back - lost in thought. A frown appeared on the dark-haired man's face then it cleared, then it appeared and again, disappeared. He wondered what the man thought about.

Mark reached over and touched the back of the dark haired man's hand, laying on the table. "Stop thinking so loud."

Jaebeom smiled and turned his hand over to grasp the other man's. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking…"

Although it was done in an unconscious and natural way, it was only Mark that seemed to notice how easily Jaebeom had turned his hand over to hold his. Mark didn't think that Jaebeom was fully aware that he'd done this.

"... about Jinyoung?" Mark asked quietly.

Taecyeon arrived back and Mark noted his sharp glance at their joined hands. He shook his head slightly at the older man. He wasn't going to let go nor draw attention to Jaebeom's actions in case the man pulled away. But Mark noted the slight smile that Taecyeon wore and the slight quirk of his brows - it was his silent stamp of approval. Mark mouthed, 'thanks,' as Jaebeom answered with an affirmative, "Yes, it was about Jinyoung. I'm sorry."

"It's ok," Mark replied. "Heartbreaks are called heartbreaks for a reason."

Taecyeon snorted, as Jaebeom poured them all shots of soju. They lifted their shot glasses, cheered and drank.

"How can he be so heartbroken after that ass?" Taecyeon asked, making a face at the taste of the soju. He quickly drank his beer to chase the taste away. Mark and Jaebeom did the same.

Mark lifted a brow questioningly. "Because did you see that ass?" He snorted, shaking his head.

Nodding in agreement at Mark, Taecyeon half whistled under his breath. "Fuck yeah, he may have been an absolute cock to Jaebeom but man, that ass was fine."

"Oh, my fuck, yes. It was a peach." Mark nodded, possibly a little too vehemently for Jaebeom's liking because his hand twitched under Mark's grasp. Mark winked at the other man and held onto his hand tighter.

Taecyeon hmmed loudly. "I have to say, he was a semi-handsome fellow. Not as good as me, but not bad. With one hell of an ass that would put the J-Lo booty to shame."

Mark agreed before he turned to Jaebeom quizzically saying, "How did you not want to tap that ass every single fucking night?"

Taecyeon leaned across the table. "Ah, Mark? Do you like Jaebeom or Jinyoung?" he asked, eyes twinkling with suppressed amusement.

 _Fuck you Taec._ "Um… I like... ass." Mark laughed his high pitched laugh and his face flushed with delight and embarrassment. He noticed Jaebeom giving him a somewhat assessing look. He chewed on his lip, watching as Jaebeom's eyes focused on his mouth. He teased his tongue to the corner of his mouth, watching avidly as Jaebeom gulped at his action.

A voice broke in as a body slid into the empty seat next Taecyeon. "I swear whenever I come into a conversation with you two, there is always some aspect that is sexual in nature. Whose ass are we appreciating?"

"Wooyoung!" Taecyeon and Mark chorused.

The other man laughed as he joined them. He exchanged a convoluted handshake with Mark, a side hug with Taecyeon and waved at Jaebeom. Mark noticed Jaebeom waved back awkwardly. He made a head motion at Wooyoung.

"Oh yeah, hi, I'm Jang Wooyoung. You must be JB." Their introductions were cut short as their order started arriving to the table and everyone scrambled to make room on the table as dishes were put down. Taecyeon took care of putting meat on the hot grill and for a moment, silence reigned.

Mark prodded Jaebeom gently, making another head motion, but this time, at Jaebeom toward Wooyoung. Jaebeom quickly got the message and leaned across to shake hands. "Hi. Wooyoung, was it? I'm Jaebeom actually. Im Jaebeom."

Wooyoung shook his hand and then turned to glare at Taecyeon. "Dude!"

Taecyeon looked back. "What? Oh. Oh, technically you're not wrong. He is JB!"

Mark noticed as Jaebeom gave Taecyeon a dry look, sinking back in his seat. He bit back a laugh as Jaebeom asked, "At what point are you going to talk about how you call me 'JB' when you don't even know me?"

"Hey! I'm your hyung! Be polite! And hey, you know Mark!" stated Taecyeon, matter-of-factly, as if that was self-explanatory. Mark groaned - this was going to be bad for him. He could feel Taecyeon gearing up for something that was bound to embarrass Mark. Discretion? Please - Taecyeon did not know the meaning of the word.

Taecyeon concentrated on placing the meat on the grill before he pointed the chopsticks at Mark, seemingly uncaring of manners. "JB. JB, my man, you've been all over Mark; I saw you pull his hips into yours. You would have felt that boner against yours." Mark and Jaebeom quickly averted their eyes away from one another in embarrassment. Yes, they had both felt… each other. Mark flushed and cast his eyes at the ceiling in silent prayer before looking across at his older friends. Taecyeon slyly grinned at them before saying, "Technically? So have I - felt his boner - so we inherently have shared something together so you and I, JB? We're close, I feel."

 _What the hell? Did he just tell Jaebeom about him knowing Mark's dick?_ Mark gave a strangled cry and choked…

Jaebeom smacked his back. (Briefly, Mark was taken back to when he did a similar thing to Jaebeom in the ramen house… except Jaebeom was nice enough to hand him water and not whiskey.) He quickly grabbed the water, gulping it down. He smiled his thanks at Jaebeom and then turned to glare hard at Taecyeon. He couldn't believe … actually on second thoughts, he could totally believe that Taecyeon just said that.

"You're an ass, Taec."

"What? It's not like it's exactly a secret. We're all friends here. You and I slept together, we dated once upon a time. It's not like we're going to hide it. Wooyoung knows all about it. And now you and I are good friends - no benefits. Though I think that's a bit of a pity. Ow! Don't hit me." Taecyeon rubbed his arm where Wooyoung hit him. "Jaebeom's going to have to get used to us because I'm clingy to all my past relationships because I need all my memories and won't let you go without a fight so he better be prepared to be friends. Besides, he has to be polite, because I'm his hyung. You - you dongsaeng!"

Mark glared as Jaebeom gave Taecyeon a look. Mark growled out, "Oh my God, you are honestly the worst!"

"That's not what you said…" Taecyeon smirked at Mark and winked. Mark gave another strangled cry and banged his head on the table. Taecyeon ignored him and turned to Jaebeom. "Do you have a type, JB?" he asked as the youngest looked like a deer in headlights. "Should we be looking at your tendency to like people like Jinyoung and myself? Dark-haired, tall, good-looking, Korean..." Actually, Mark wanted to know the answer to this question too. He listened intently.

"I'm not attracted to you if that's what you're angling about," Jaebeom said, his voice meek.

Taecyeon nodded, putting cooked meat onto a plate. "Good to know. Bucket hat wearing penis people are just not my thing. How do you feel about Chinese? Taiwanese specifically?"

Mark poured them all another round of soju and deftly handed one to Taecyeon as a way to shut him up.

They all drank them back before resuming the conversation. Wooyoung turned to Jaebeom. "Okay so what is the deal with the bucket hat? I have got to ask. Do you know how much of a penis you look? And I'm not saying this to be offensive but you seriously look like a walking breathing cock."

Jaebeom just looked at Wooyoung and Taecyeon like deer in headlights as Mark laughed. "Taec calls you penis head… because of your bucket hat." Mark helpfully supplied, still chuckling.

Wooyoung appeased, "It's a great hat. Maybe better on other people. On you..."

Taecyeon sipped on his beer. "It makes him look like a penis. The head with the bucket hat, the body is the shaft… and with those shoes he has on… balls."

"That is true." acknowledged Wooyoung. He made a face as he assessed Jaebeom, making Jaebeom squirm.

Jaebeom poured them another round while he laughed nervously. "What? I look like a dick?"

Wooyoung nodded. "Figuratively...  like morning wood… like a giant mouth would suck you off… Imagine how wet you'd be with a giant mouth drooling on you..."

Taecyeon and Mark both looked at each other. "Eww…"

Wooyoung "Would save on laundry and shower…"

Taecyeon leaned forward in curiosity. "What if the tongue had cum on it?"

Wooyoung shrugged, drinking his wine. "JB would be wearing it. Be sticky though… I imagine on that scale it would be like wading through gel...Isn't that like some kind of kink?"

Startled, Jaebeom looked at them wide-eyed. "Say what now?"

They quickly downed another round of soju as their final dishes arrived. And Taecyeon quickly plated the rest of the cooked meat. There was silence for a while as they dug into their food. More beer arrived and along with it, more soju was emptied until they had a small collection of empty bottles on their table. Mark felt that he should perhaps be alarmed at how many they had consumed, considering it was Jaebeom's first time really hanging out with him, but Mark couldn't think clearly enough to express an opinion about this.

Although, Mark did worry as Taecyeon started to clear his throat. Taecyeon had been focused on eating, but extreme hunger abated, he was now free to eat at a more leisurely pace. He could now ask extremely awkward questions and Mark knew from experience that he could and would ask extremely awkward questions if the situation presented itself.

"So at what point was anyone going to mention the fact that JB dated a man that looked like a shorter, less handsome version of me?" asked Taecyeon. That was pretty safe. Mark felt fine about answering that one.

"Actually I had noticed that Jinyoung looks very much like you. I really should have thought twice about bringing you as my wingman. You're like my competition if he has a type." Mark mused in his tipsy state.

"Who has a type?" Jaebeom asked, his mouth full of meat. "Me?"

"You," replied Wooyoung at the same time as Mark.

"Me you, or me me?" Jaebeom to pointed to Mark as well as himself.

"Is he always this dense?" Wooyoung asked Mark.

"Hey! Maybe he has street smarts!" Mark defended Jaebeom as he swayed a little in his seat. The alcohol was getting to them all.

"Well, that's good because you don't have any! Maybe it's good that you two like each other."

"Why is that good? We haven't finished vetting JB yet," Taecyeon asked.

Wooyoung eye-rolled at Taecyeon. "Mark needs someone who likes quiet," supplied Wooyoung. "Who appreciates the quiet. Can be with themselves a lot. He's intelligent but terribly obtuse."

Taecyeon argued, "Mark needs dick. JB looks like one."

"Can a dick suck off a dick?" questioned Wooyoung.

Taecyeon shrugged. "Technically it could be counted as docking. What part of JB is the foreskin?"

JB stared at the two. "Oh, my god, this is getting weird."

Wooyoung angled his head and looked at Jaebeom. "Getting weird? You say that it is getting weird? It's not already way past that?"

Jaebeom shook his head.

"You might just work after all. I approve. You can fuck him you know," he declared to Mark.

Mark looked at his friend and raised his brow. "Really? That's what you want to say now?"

"Well, I'm declaring the obvious. You two are making cow eyes at each other while we eat and I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs because that man over there is busy inhaling food. So now you are my entertainment. I was promised dinner and a show!"

Mark reached over and hit Taecyeon. "I told you to invite someone fun!"

"I did. He's just there." He indicated Wooyoung, next to him, while shoving food into his mouth.

"Why him?"

"Hmm? Because he answered my group text to my friends. Plus he wants some of this…" he indicated his body, "...tonight. Maybe I should have grabbed Jinyoung… Ow!" Taecyeon rubbed his shoulder. "Stop fucking punching me. Actually, you know what? Don't touch me. Not now, not tonight, not ever again."

"You fucking love me touching you." Wooyoung smirked, waggling his brows.

Taecyeon paused, then shrugged. "Well, that is true. But hello? Public place. Seems weird. Not to mention penis head over there is making me think weird thoughts. I keep alternating between being hard and wanting a blowjob or watching someone else give one. It's fucking with my food absorption rate."

Jaebeom shook his head."What did I become part of?"

Taecyeon corrected, "Well, _technically_ , you didn't become a part of something. Your ex made you become fast friends with us. It was on the cards anyway, but hey - you just jumped right in there into Mark's arms and well, here we are."

"I didn't jump into them!" Jaebeom denied hotly.

"Okay," Taecyeon rolled his eyes, "you stood there while he placed his arms oh-so-gently around you. I noticed you didn't exactly jump out of them either. In fact, wasn't it you that made the whole thing closer? Wasn't it _your_ hands - you have small hands by the way - lucky for you he has small hips but you know this from grabbing them, should start calling you grabby - oh god, where was I? … Oh yeah, that's right…  it was your tiny hands that grabbed _his_ skinny hips …"

"Oh my god." Jaebeom looked full of regret, hanging his head down until his chin met his chest as Taecyeon droned on.

"I wasn't jumping Mar… I wasn't jumping you!" Jaebeom was quick to say this to Mark, turning to look at the blond. Mark stared at him with an amused look.

Wooyoung leaned across. "Are you sure? Because in all fairness, knowing Mark, he would have loved it. He still would so the option is most likely still open." Wooyoung helpfully pointed this out, holding a palm up in a vague shrugging motion.

"I wasn't…I wouldn't... I mean, yeah, I'd like… fuck," Jaebeom's face was red. Mark looked at the younger man who was embarrassed, and hanging his head.

Mark stuck the tip of his tongue out before replying. "I'd like fuck too, but hey we said we'd start slow. " Mark quipped, emboldened even more by the alcohol. "You could do that thanking thing you said in front of Jinyoung. It sounded promising. I think I'd like your version of thank you sex." Mark was sure where this bravado was coming from but he was going with it. The alcohol may made him think he was more shit hot than he really was, but he was fully prepared to wear that in the morning if this boy would look at him hungrily like he was now.

The pause was long as Jaebeom lifted his head and stared at him. Mark licked his lips purposely and watched Jaebeom's eyes zero in on them.

"Really…go on… thank me..." Mark goaded Jaebeom on.

Taecyeon groaned playfully. "Oh for fuck's sake, don't go getting a hard-on in the middle of a restaurant. It's so cliche. JB - Mark wants you. You want Mark. Park Jinyoung is out of the picture but you can say thank him next time you see him for making sure that you could jump Mark's bones. By the way, Mark likes it when you do jump his bones…"

"Shut. Up." said Mark calmly, still holding Jaebeom's gaze, still teasing the other man. He had pulled his bottom lip into his mouth now and he watched as the dark haired man's mouth parted softly as if he was about to lean over and kiss Mark. _Do it!_ He silently urged.

"Don't be like that, Mark. It's okay. We all have needs. Jaebeom has needs too now he doesn't have a boyfriend. You have a bone with his name on it. Admit it."

Jaebeom's face flamed anew. Mark thought it was cute. Jaebeom still stared at Mark even as he told Wooyoung, "Aish, stop - stop it."

Wooyoung pulled a long drink of his beer before answering, "You can handle it, Jaebeom. Or at least you should be able to handle Mark. Haven't you already thought about it? What about you - are you easy to handle? Or just hard."

"Weak. That was weak," scoffed Taecyeon.

"I know. I apologise. I don't know what's wrong with me today. These two kids are making eyes again at each other and I'm losing my touch. So catch me up on this Jinyoung thing... What happened?"

Taecyeon clapped and rubbed his hands together, gearing up for the full story-telling. He was in his element and Mark knew that he and Jaebeom were not going to escape out of this unscathed.

"So Jaebeom is Mark's stalker…" Taecyeon began.

"I am not his stalker."

"... and Mark made plans with his stalker to follow him to here from Yokohama…"

Mark acknowledged it. "Guilty."

 

* * * * * * * * * *

 

Listening to Taecyeon's somewhat embellished story, Mark couldn't help but think back to the 'Jinyoung' incident as he watched Wooyoung hitting Taecyeon. He was taken back to the moment when he was hitting Taecyeon before meeting Jinyoung. And when he'd stepped up to rescue his 'damsel-in-distress'.

It hadn't been that he'd thought Jaebeom couldn't look after himself; it was that he had felt that Jaebeom was being threatened by this other man. And Mark hadn't not like that. Not at all. He couldn't pick Jaebeom up and run away with him so he could only stand next to him and hold his hand.

Park Jinyoung.

Mark wasn't sure what he had expected from the ex he'd had in his mind, but it certainly hadn't been a younger, shorter version of his own ex. Honestly, it had taken him a moment to gather his thoughts together because Jinyoung bore an uncanny resemblance to the younger Taecyeon he had dated. Taecyeon looked a little different now but the similarity was still there.

But where Taecyeon he could - and still did - love in a way, he hadn't had nor did he have the same affection to tie him to the man who had hurt the man he had held in his arms. The one he had felt quivering under his touch. The one he wanted quivering under his touch but not from fear or nervousness, but with anticipation and want; with desire burning from his eyes, and hot words pouring from his mouth. The one that had stood here needed a tender touch, a loving mouth, and a want so large it eclipsed all else, save him.

And Mark wanted that. Mark wanted to give him that. It scared him that with all their meetings with all their moments, that he felt this already. It was a far cry from what he had felt with Taecyeon and that, in itself, was an eye opener for Mark.

He had thought he had loved Taecyeon to the moon and back, but the protectiveness and possessiveness he was feeling for this dark haired beauty with his two moles above his eyes and that strong jaw, with that hard body that he'd felt beneath his hands… shit he was so fucked before it even began. His heart was already lost and he feared for what would happen to him when Jaebeom would one day walk away from him. His mind said 'we will cross that bridge when we come to it. We'll take what we can for now.'

He was scared of how much he was feeling and they hadn't even officially dated, but here they were, in front of his friends, Mark having semi kissed him even, held him and for all intents and purposes, been semi-dating in front of one Park Jinyoung.

They were going about all this backward and entirely back to front but in a way that made it doubly fun and quirky and in way, a much better way to get together. All he had to do now was convince Jaebeom it was a good idea to spend more time together and maybe even soon, see the man naked.

Mark grinned to himself, excited at the prospect of spending more time with this man. Maybe Youngjae was right and he could have a romantic fling. But, if he played his cards right, maybe this could be more. Mark felt he could hope…

 

* * * * * * * * * *

"So in the end… Mark invited Jaebeom to this restaurant?" Wooyoung asked.

Taecyeon shook his head. "No to this area in general…"

"Why did he not just say this restaurant? He knows this is where we like to go."

The taller man shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe he was too busy thinking with his dick or something. Anyway… so we were at the station, JB here was waiting like a big penis with shoes and his ex - who looks like me by the way so, you know, hot - walks by..."

"There's another person like you?" Wooyoung looked intrigued by this.

"Yes. Now…"

"Does he have a better personality?" Wooyoung interrupted further. "Maybe I could trade up?"

"You'd be trading down. He's short." Taecyeon's voice was curt. Mark laughed at the pout that was appearing on Taecyeon's face.

"Not that short," interjected Jaebeom.

"Dude, you're short. Of course you don't think that," said Taecyeon pithily.

"Anyway…?" Wooyoung was getting impatient.

Taecyeon patted his arm placatingly. "Anyway so Jinyoung went by swinging his enticing and inviting little peach around - he has an ass that won't quit… "

Jaebeom winced. "Can you not refer to my ex's ass like that?"

"It looked so fucking good." Mark blurted out excitedly. Jaebeom turned his head and tsked. Mark laughed and grabbed Jaebeom's shoulder. "Stop. I'm just appreciative. You appreciated it once too."

Wooyoung leaned across to Mark in a seemingly conspiratorial manner. "Sounds like I should really find this man. Do I need to find this man?"

Taecyeon gruffed out, "No you don't. I'm better than him... shhh…"

Wooyoung leaned back satisfaction on his face as Taecyeon put his arm across the back of his shoulder in a possessive manner. Mark laughed at the two of them.

Taecyeon continued in a more normal tone. "So… Jinyoung says something, we exchange a few words, Mark here starts to make moves on JB here to protect JB's already lost virtue or something and then JB starts humping against Mark's leg…"

"Hey! I didn't!"

Wooyoung admonished the younger man with a finger held up to tell him off. "Stop interrupting the good storytelling… carry on. JB humping leg…"

"...And I swear those two would have made out right there. There was some sappy shit about having a make up sex session later in front of Jinyoung. Jinyoung got jealous - jealous Jinyoung looks hot by the way - and then yeah, he left. But Mark here got all possessive and held JB's hand all the way here…"

There was an "aww…" from Wooyoung before Taecyeon sat up and said, "I forgot the kiss…"

Wooyoung sat bolt upright. "What???"

Mark noticed Jaebeom sliding a glance sideways at him, biting his own lip. So… Jaebeom didn't forget the kiss. _He_ couldn't forget the kiss; the feel of Jaebeom's skin under his lips had felt soft and amazing, his lips still had the faintest of tingles on them. Mark felt gratified that Jaebeom was still feeling _something_ about that kiss.

Taecyeon smirked knowingly. "Mark kissed JB."

"Fuck - why do I miss all the good bits?" Wooyung grumbled, sitting back against Taecyeon and crossing his arms.

Taecyeon wrapped his arms around the younger man. "I told you to hurry up and finish your stupid yoga class."

"Well, fuck you too."

"You can later. But first, what do you mean 'two'? Is there someone you bringing along? Are you bringing a third person - kinky dongsaeng. Always knew you had a kinky side. Ow… why is everyone hitting me today?!"

 

* * * * *

Jaebeom also felt like hitting Taecyeon. He had been recovering just fine from the "JJB aka the Jinyoung-Jaebeom Break-Up" as he'd coined it in his head. That is, until he'd seen his ex-partner up, close and personal again. It had been a good way to see him again in one way, but at the same time, it did hurt. And having Taecyeon rave about how good looking Jinyoung was, well, it was making Jaebeom feel very weird things.

On the one hand, he was happy to know that other people found Jinyoung as attractive as he'd found him; on the other, it hadn't been his choice to split so he felt unhappy that everyone else was raving about how good-looking his ex-boyfriend was and giving him a hard time about the break up.

He sighed. He knew that they weren't to know who broke up with whom, but it still hurt nonetheless. Jinyoung _was_ good looking, handsome, and had that air about him that made you want to pin him down and make him do your bidding but knowing that he'd be savage as fuck while doing so. He'd watched many a man - and woman - fall to the man's charms and lose. He was always the one that went home with the handsome, charming Jinyoung - no matter how many people threw themselves at Jinyoung.

What was it about them that made him like the good looking super attractive men? First Jinyoung and now Mark.

The alcohol was swimming in his system and he found himself alternating between thoughts of Jinyoung and thoughts of Mark.

Hope is what springs eternally - apparently - and yet Jaebeom didn't want to hope too much that Mark saw him the same way. He had the inkling feeling that _maybe_ Mark liked him too. So many things were pointing towards that definitely being a thing. But then again, he doubted his own thought processes and feels on anything to do with attraction since the JJB because he had misread his and Jinyoung's relationship so badly.

He watched the blond as he sat there sipping his beer. He wasn't even sure if Mark lived here. Was this to be his rebound relationship/A fling in the post break up travels he was doing? God, Jaebeom didn't even know how long he himself would be here for. He'd been all spontaneous and so forth. But he knew his own days were numbered and time was not a luxury that he had and that he would have to go home soon, maybe even within the week. Work wouldn't hold let him go on for an indefinite period of time. Maybe he would take whatever Mark was willing to give him and hope for the best? Jaebeom wondered if he could encourage Mark to come travelling his last few days together.

 

* * * * *

They were definitely winding up for the night. Many bottles of soju and many glasses of beer had been consumed and Mark still wondered how he was going to ask Jaebeom to travel with him. Technically, they were not together, so it wasn't even that they could just _go_ together. They hadn't made actual confessions either so there was that too.

"Hey stalker boy, what's your plans now?"

"I'm not… you know what, screw you. I'm not that desperate that I have to stalk someone."

"Aw, not even me? I'm disappointed."

Jaebeom laughed his deep rich laugh. "You are determined to call me that, aren't you?"

"I figure it'll be something interesting to tell our friends…"

"I'll think about it."

Mark smirked. "If you hate it so much, how about you agree to travel with me then?"

"What?"

"Well, where are you heading to after Tokyo? What else do you want to see before you have to go back home?"

"I was thinking Hakone? Um, it was kind of why I was in Yokohama. I was going to go from there to Hakone." Jaebeom's eyes moved around the table, meeting Wooyoung and Taecyeon's gazes before meeting Mark's once more."Also, I'd like to try one of those bungy jumping things though but not sure where. I think there is one in Gunma?"

"Oh hey, me too!" Mark exclaimed. He'd read about that and had been meaning to go do that. He'd heard really good thing about the ones in Japan. Gunma would be ideal.

Taecyeon asked, "What about Osaka? Kobe? Kyoto?"

Jaebeom shrugged. "I don't know. I'd like to. Maybe wait and see? I don't think I have much leave left unfortunately, and I probably should be heading back home."

Mark was quiet. He didn't want to think about Jaebeom leaving. It only seemed like yesterday they'd crossed paths, but he knew it had definitely been a lot longer. He took a breath and went for it. "Well, this bungy jumping thing…"

"Yes?"

Mark took a deep breath. "You may as well come with me."

"Why?"

"Do I have to spell it out?"

Jaebeom looked at Mark confused. "Um… Yes?"

Taecyeon cleared it up, "Stalker boy - you really don't know how to live up to your name, do you? It's, like, you know... rather than having to go to the effort of finding me, why don't we just travel together? Right, Mark?"

"For the last time I am not your personal stalker." Jaebeom gave him that same wry smile that was almost a smirk and made Mark's heart make that little skip in its rhythm.

"Well duh, you'll be my personal travel companion." Mark eye-rolled at Taecyeon as if to say 'this kid.' But inside, he was holding his breath - figuratively - as he waited to hear actual confirmation that Jaebeom would travel willingly with him.

"Hey!" Jaebeom exclaimed. "That's not a better title upgrade, you know."

"I can call you director of my person, but then you'd have to let me see you naked."

To his surprise, Jaebeom smirked back. "I think we could work out a deal with that."

Jaebeom's breath caught in his throat as Mark leaned in, one hand sliding to the back of his neck. "Think you could handle an onsen together?"

Jaebeom's eyes expressed his disappointment which made Mark laugh quietly. But he left his hand on the nape of his neck while turning back to Wooyoung and Taecyeon.

 

* * * * *

"So that's settled then."

"I didn't say yes, yet."

"Live with it kid. He's bossy when he makes up his mind to be. But you know what? That can also be fun." Taecyeon smirked as the wheels turned in Jaebeom's head and his face clearly showed the moment when he realised what the older man meant. Taecyeon winked at him. "It's enough to give you a hard-on, isn't it?"

Jaebeom tried to keep a straight face. There was no need to tell them he was hard at the thought of a dominant bossy Mark. But he was. He goddamn was.

He side-eyed the blond sitting next to him, whose hand was still at the nape of his neck, caressing his skin with light fingers. Delicious shivers were running down his body and goosebumps were coming up on his skin. Bossy huh? He'd like to see that side of Mark one day.

"So will you come? Travelling?"

"Yes. On one condition..."

"What?"

"We it together together. We double bungy."

"Double bungy. That sounds so dirty. I love it. You jump, I jump, Jack."

 Both Taecyeon and Wooyoung looked at them and said, "Ewww...."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I will admit I want them to move on and be together travelling, but Obliv talked me into making the restaurant scene happen now so that we didn't get a multitude of flashbacks to them in the restaurant. Besides we all wanted to know what happened after the Jinyoung aftermath, didn't we? Hands up who is waiting for the smut to happen? *hand goes up*


	13. Leap of Faith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tissue warning.

Mark woke to the feel of someone stroking his hair. He breathed, allowing himself to luxuriate and enjoy the feel of having someone's warm fingers combing through his hair while laying face down, his head turned to the side. It had been such a long time since he'd felt so blissed out. He could smell a series of familiar scents - the crisp scent of shower gel mixing with the scent of shampoo and conditioner, and the clean smell of freshly laundered clothing. Taecyeon.

Bleary-eyed he opened his eyes, forcing them to focus with every blink. Slowly, everything in the world became more distinct and clearer - a pair of well shaped knees slowly came into view, settling and familiar. He hmm'd as his gaze travelled up to find the familiar sight of the dark-haired man with a book on his lip, one hand buried in Mark's hair. He sighed blissfully at the sight and snuggled further into the pillow beneath his face. "Morning," he croaked, acutely aware of his morning voice, groggy and raspy from lack of use. Taecyeon wouldn't care. Mark didn't care - he was warm and protected and safe. It was Taecyeon after all.

"Morning," came the amused reply from above his head as he burrowed further, pulling the blankets up around his shoulders. "How'd you sleep?"

Mark tried to stifle a yawn, but it escaped him, his jaw cracking wide. "Good." he eventually replied, burrowing his nose into Taecyeon's side.

The other man quietly laughed. "You're like a kitten burrowing into me. I'd forgotten what it's like. It's been a while since we've woken up like this." His fingers continue to comb through Mark's hair, lulling the man back into a semi-comatose state.

Mark nodded sleepily, forehead plastered against Taecyeon's thigh, one arm thrown over his legs and a small content smile on his lips. Taecyeon always used to sit with him like this on the weekends, some book open in his lap while his fingers combed through Mark's hair. Mark smiled softly. Memories. They had so many memories together. Taecyeon and memories. Memories of picnics and walks, the two of them and with friends, movies and parks, bars and restaurants. Weekends away memories when they travelled for skiing, or for the sun. Closeness memories of when the weather was bad and they would curl up together and watch TV, or Mark would sleep and Taecyeon would read a book.

"Why does it feel like we haven't broken up?" he said drowsily and lax from the feel of being petted..

Taecyeon chuckled softly. "Because I never let you go."

Mark let out a small huff of amusement and let that answer wash over him. He thought about it, letting it sink in and he let it ramble through his thoughts. Taecyeon had always kept in contact. It was Taecyeon who emailed, and texted and sent him funny dog pics and links to videos and kept up the chatter long after Mark had left Japan. It was Taecyeon who responded with a 'hey you' and not a 'screw you' when Mark felt he could finally reply. He was grateful for Taecyeon for not letting go. "Why didn't you? After everything I put you through, why did you never let me go?"

Taecyeon kept stroking his hair. Mark felt so comforted, almost purring like a cat. He missed this a lot. He had almost forgotten his question when Taecyeon finally answer him. "Because it hurts when you lose a friend when you don't have many to start with. And I wasn't about to let you disappear with my memories."

His words resonated with Mark. His world was intimate by nature - an introvert by design, his world was limited so memories and people with whom to share those memories with were few and chosen carefully. Memories was all he had of Japan. He had made Japan all about Taecyeon. So Taecyeon by extension was Japan. And Japan held so many memories and so many feelings - full of happiness, joy, sadness and despair, but in the end, regret. It was where he was happiest and it was where he was at his lowest. The memory of him on his knees as he cried at the unfairness of it all, to have finally everything, to be so happy and yet to have lost everything. Of standing in the shower with Taecyeon, numb and unfeeling. Of being at the airport, bags in hand, not even remembering what he'd packed, or if he had even packed. He tried to push his thoughts down as they struggled to rise to the surface. He didn't want to do that now. Not here. Not now.

He focused on the hand combing through his hair. He focused on the rhythm, the pressure, the warmth...

"Hey Mark?"

"Hmm…"

"I miss you."

He smiled, a sad little smile. "Aww, me too." He reached across and held Taecyeon's hand that wasn't still stroking his hair. Though they were no longer together, Mark still had a special place in his heart for Ok Taecyeon. He was the man for whom Mark had realised love and being loved could be a real possibility in his life and although in the end what he had felt for Taecyeon wasn't the forever happily ever after love, he still held a fondness and deep attraction for the man. Ok Taecyeon wasn't a man you could easily forget, no matter how hard you tried. "I miss you too, Taec."

The older man sighed. "And I miss this."

"Me too." He snuggled closer. He really did miss this. It wasn't the waking up with a warm receptive body, it was the waking up to a bond that meant you could just be. You didn't have to wear a mask, nor be in a lively mood; you could just be whatever it was you were in the morning.

"And… Mark? I miss them. Your parents."

Fuck. Mark froze. His hand stilled in Taecyeon's. His breath caught in his throat. His eyes were open, but unseeing as tears came unbidden to his eyes. There. Taecyeon said it.

And Mark knew he would be raw by the end of today.

"Taec…" Mark choked as the tears welled up and spilled out. Taecyeon had got him in his waking up state before he'd had a chance to put up walls and defenses. He felt the tears leak out of the corners of his eyes and fall into the pillow beneath him.

_Not fair._

He had thought it had been an unspoken agreement that his parents wouldn't come up as a subject but no, he should have know Taecyeon would bring it up. Because he knew Mark. And he knew Tammy, and Grace, and Joey, and he would have known through them that Mark hadn't let it out. And now he was cornered.

The memories that he'd been holding at bay for the past two years rose up and crashed over him, like waves on a surf beach in a storm.

They crashed hard, pulling him in and churning him around -- with pictures of his mother's face...his father's face… of memories filled with happiness… of memories filled with bitter regret.

Mark sobbed back the urge to cry out - a heart-wrenching, wavering cry of unfairness that fought and struggled to leave his throat. He struggled to breathe. He couldn't breathe. He gulped in lungfuls of air but they got stuck in his throat. He wanted them back. He want to turn back the time. He wanted… them.

He felt Taecyeon grab him and haul him into the circle of his arms, his face upon his chest and it reminded him of his mom's arms and the scent of her, familiar, warm, and loving. Always understanding and never judgemental. He would never get that again. He wanted his … _Mom_.

And the dam burst.

The tears poured out in rivers as his body started to shake. His legs drew up, but Taecyeon was in the way. In a flash, Taecyeon was lying with him, murmuring in his ear, and Mark could only sob in his ex-lover's arms as he fell apart.

And in the midst of his storm of tears, he could feel Taecyeon crying with him. And Mark felt bad for keeping Taecyeon at arm's length. Because he missed them too. And Mark was his only link to them. And had removed himself and left Taecyeon alone.

His mother's beautiful and happy smiling face at each birthday from the time he could recall to the last one she had been present for floated in front of his eyes;

Her joyous face looking on proudly at every end of year recital/concert and graduations;

The kindness and understanding at the end of every exam he sat when he would drag himself to the car and she would hold him while he curled up as he felt mentally and physically depleted;

The smile she would bestow on him as she kissed him goodnight over the years and eventually blow kisses over video calling;

The frown she grew on her face when he would tell her he wasn't coming home for the holidays;

The disappointed smile she would wear when he told her something had come up and he wouldn't be able to join them for the family holiday after all;

But most of all, the hurt look she had when he told them that he wouldn't come home for their anniversary.

Mark took a big shuddering breath, trying to ease the tightness in his chest, the clenching of his heart at the misery he had given his parents in their last few days, heck, their last few months.

His father's face - the disappointment in his eyes as he let his mother down, the lack of the smiles that he'd grown up accustomed to always receiving...

He choked back a sob, and another, and another, but it wasn't long before his body was heaving and shuddering with heavy heart wrenching tears. He braced the back of his hand against his mouth as he drew in shaky shuddering breaths.

The memory of his father, of his father's face -- reminding him that the laughter that always came so readily to himself stemmed from that older man's face and that man was no longer around and he would never see nor hear it again.

He would no longer see that glint in his eyes as one Raymond Tuan tiptoed behind one unsuspecting Dorine Tuan, hoping to scare her, or tease her, or surprise her, holding his finger up to his lips to tell the kids not to say a word.

He would no longer see his father's welcoming smile at the airport, the unsaid things in his eyes as he wrapped warm arms around him and held him close and breathed him in like he was a kid again.

He cried for the loss, for the heartbreak he felt, for the regret, and the bitterness. He cried for the emptiness in him. He cried for the fear that rose in him as he stared into the big abyss of life and knowing that the trepidation in his heart as he walked along life's path would be alone without the hands that had always been there to guide him. He cried for the bitterness in his own actions, for the regret that would never completely go away at his uncaringness to spend the time with them, stupidly thinking he had a lifetime in which to spend with them. He cried at the unfairness of it all and he cried because he missed them and he had never known what it was like to really miss them before… until now when it was too late.

Eventually the sobs subsided and he could only lie numbly as the tears still flowed from his eyes. Tears full of harsh regret, of the pain in his heart, of the sorrow he held within himself -- they rolled out and bled into the pillow beneath. His breath was shaky and faltering, his body unsteady and quivering, and his voice was tremulously thin.

"Thank you…"

He felt Taecyeon holding him, the older man's chin on the top of his head as his was tucked under the man's against his chest. They lay side by side on the more-than-damp pillow but Taecyeon didn't seem to notice. "How are you doing?" he asked Mark.

"Good." Mark pulled back, wiped his face and saw the look Taecyeon was giving him. "Well, I'm doing okay considering, after that crying storm you just put me through."

"You needed it."

"Yeah, I probably did." Mark rolled onto his back and lay looking at the ceiling. He could feel Taecyeon lying on his side, looking at him.

"Mark, why didn't you let anyone in? Why did you remove yourself and throw yourself into work so much?" His hand was rubbing Mark's arm in comfort and Mark was grateful for it's grounding feeling.

"I-I just did what I had to. To cope." he whispered. "I wasn't coping. So I worked. I could forget when I worked. I didn't have to come home to you asking how my day was and how I was doing. I could come home when I was exhausted, pass out because I was so tired, and during the day I was so engrossed in projects and work and employees and contracts, I didn't have to think about how much I had let them down, how much I missed them, and how much I regretted not going home that anniversary."

"Mark. They are your parents. You are allowed to grieve for them. They died."

"I know. I know this."

"But?"

"But … I stayed here Taec. They wanted me to come home and be there for their anniversary and I selfishly stayed here. I - they died…"

"Not because you stayed. That was a freak accident. You didn't cause it. It wasn't your fault. It was an accident. There was no one at fault."

Mark turned to his side to face Taecyeon, pulling the blankets up and around himself. He wasn't about to go into that now. He peered up at Taecyeon. "How late is it?" he asked huskily.

Taecyeon took the hint and replied with, "You slept late."

"Hmm… did I?"

"Mmm. Yes."

"It's mid afternoon - about 1pm. I would have woken you up earlier but I feel like you needed the sleep. It was a big night last night. Do you recall?"

Mark sighed, a tight grimace on his face. Jaebeom. Yes, he recalled. "Yes."

"And do you recall what we talked about?"

"Travel. Together. "

"Yes. And do you know why I am now asking you all these questions?"

"Because you are concerned?"

"Yes. Mark?"

"Hmm…?"

"How are you? Really? Be truthful with me." Taecyeon looked very serious as he gazed at Mark.  

"Right now? I'm shattered. I was holding it all together."

"No you weren't."

"Okay, I wasn't but I thought I was. But now, I feel all open and raw and empty yet full and as if something is missing and I'm torn between wanting to claw out the hole that is in me and wanting to find something to stuff into it."

"Is that something Jaebeom?"

Mark was quiet. Finally he said, "I don't know. God, I don't know."

Taecyeon held him as he cried some more. "You know that man is coming out of a long term relationship and that Park Jinyoung broke his heart. It wouldn't be fair to him if you aren't ready to be in something. He's not rebound material, Mark. You can't screw with him. Don't go in not knowing what it is you want from him."

The thing is Mark genuinely didn't know. He didn't know if he would ever know. Maybe he should just stay away from Jaebeom.

He was screwed up. He was pretty sure Jaebeom didn't need anymore crap to deal with. He was already cut up after Jinyoung - would he even want to deal with Mark's endless broken up inside shit?

 

* * * * *

 

Jaebeom didn't know what to do - should he do this mad thing and travel with Mark? Or should he keep his distance? Would Mark want to deal with all his fucked-up-ness and moroseness shit?

He was coming out of ten years. Ten fucking years of being with the one person. What did he have to offer anyone? A fucked up heart and no knowledge of what exactly he had done wrong. What kind of offer was that to lay on the table. Oh hey, I'm Im Jaebeom and I'm offering a lifetime of insecurity, repairs of the heart and possibly a fucked up idea of what love and relationships are supposed to be about because my ex left me with no clue as to what I did wrong… so ah, date me? Please? He snorted at the thought. Yeah right. He'd run a mile if he saw himself coming. Pathetic idiot.

He held the phone up to his face as he contemplated calling a friend.

_'For 500 dollars, you can call a friend and ask them for the answer…'_

He should never have watched that game show.

He let his hand fall to the bed. What was he doing? Mark had been drunk and flirtatious and invited Jaebeom to travel with him. Firstly, was that man just plain out crazy? You don't invite complete strangers to travel with you! Secondly, was that man crazy? You don't rub junk together and then throw out an invite like travelling together without some expectation that you are wanting to get some. Thirdly - that man was plain out just fucking crazy. You don't meet a stranger, invite him to stalk you, meet the crazy ex, pretend you are dating in front of the crazy ex, and then invite him to travel with you. You are just waiting to be murdered and pushed off the trail somewhere between Kamikochi and Norikura.

Fuck!

Jaebeom swore in frustration. He thrashed his arms and legs on the bed for a good minute in frustration. Huffing after that exertion, he lay like a dead fish and thought about that annoyingly, infuriatingly good-looking, fucking hot man that he'd been pressed up against the day before.

Fuck. He plain out wanted to fucking screw that man, nail him to the the fucking wall. Let that man fuck him and then return the favour. Screw-fucking-it.

Could he take that whole thing at face value? Did Mark really want Jaebeom to travel with him? Or was it a pity invite because of the Jinyoungie thing? Or was it really a hey let's take the crazy stalker with us so we aren't going to be surprised. Aish! Jaebeom slapped his own forehead with his palm. Even he was calling himself Mark's stalker now. Dammit. He wasn't a fucking stalker! Well, not on purpose anyway.

He turned over and opened up his phone. They had taken some selcas at dinner. H poured through the many drunk selcas. God, that man was photogenic. Jaebeom was itching to take up his camera and take many photos of his. His brain questioned if said man would be naked, but Jaebeom chose to ignore that part of himself - at least for now.

He gazed down at one picture on his phone. He was in the foreground and the man in question was slightly behind him. And that man - he was just beautiful. Inside and out. So far Jaebeom had found him to be funny, intelligent, grounded and pretty fucking attractive. There was an air about him that was teasing and fun, yet mysteriously deep. A sadness in his eyes occasionally but quickly replaced by laughter and a glint of mischievousness.

But was Mark even really interested in him? There were definitely times when Mark gave off that vibe, but Jaebeom really didn't trust his gut anymore. He liked-liked the blond. There was no doubt about that. He hadn't even really realised when it was that he started to like him, but he just knew that he did.

What surprised Jaebeom the most though was when he and Mark had been walking together in Yokohama and he felt like he could do that forever with the other man. And then when Mark had stepped up in front of Jinyoung - the clenching in the pit of his stomach had Jaebeom asking questions to himself about what these feelings were about.

He hadn't meant to hold Mark's hand in the restaurant but it had felt right and second nature to do, and he hoped that he hadn't been too forward about it. But now he needed to know what Mark felt. What did Mark think about this? What did Mark want out of this? And what is he himself willing to give Mark? What did he want from Mark - because this felt more than just sexual - what could he give at this stage? Did he have anything to give? Oh my God - he just created more questions than answers! Argh. He growled at his confusion.

Time to phone a friend. _Here's that $500…_ He took a deep breath and pressed the number for Youngjae.

"Hey shithead, how's Japan going?"

Jaebeom was startled. He pulled the phone away from his ear and looked down at the phone in confusion. He wasn't expecting the growly tone from his best friend. He put it on speaker mode. "Yah, Yoo Youngjae! Is that how you talk to your hyung?" Jaebeom admonished one slightly younger man.

"No, that's how I talk to the shithead friend who abandoned me to fly to another country, Beomie."

He pushed his hand through his hair abruptly, his hand settling at the back of his neck in frustration. "Aish. Seriously? We are going to do this again?" Jaebeom said incredulously, his brows disappearing under his fringe as it fell back on his forehead.

"I'm bitter! I'm a bitter, twisted, old…"

"...single fart, I know, I know."

"No, actually," the smug tone came through strong and clear. "I'm not single. I have a boyfriend." The 'So there!' came through just as loud and strong as if Youngjae had said it aloud.

Jaebeom raised his brows in surprise. "When this this happen?" He was taken aback because he didn't think he'd been gone all that long and yet it seemed that his friend had moved very quickly. His fingers twitched, anxious to check his calendar, but he dare not switch applications just yet. Youngjae sounded in a mood.

"If you'd be in the country and not somewhere else finding yourself - how's that going by the way - then you'd have been able to help me with my wingmanship and asking said cute boy out!" The man's tone was definitely waspish and curt.

"Wait! You asked the cute boy at the gym out?" Jaebeom was very shocked. _Who are you and what have you done with my friend?_ " _You_ asked the cute boy at the gym out? Like out? You, as in you - like Yoo Youngjae you?"

"Yes!"

"Hey, I thought I had first dibs on cute boy!?" He mentally smacked himself across the back of the head. This was not the time, Jaebeom.

"Hey you weren't here!" came the defensive reply.

"Hey! What kind of friend are you!?" He was definitely reacting to the tone in Youngjae's voice, but he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"Hey! I should be asking you that, Mr I'm-going-to-buy-a-plane-ticket-out-of-here!!!"

A sudden pause as both of them stopped and only heavy breathing was heard at either end. His head was spinning at how this got out of control so quickly. He needed to calm down. He needed to calm his friend down too.

"Touche," Jaebeom conceded, after a moment. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Aiiiii, I'm sorry, Brain. And I'm sorry for making it about me."

"No, I'm sorry Beomie. I shouldn't have been like that with you. I'm just… I don't know. I'm due over at his house soon and yet, I'm procrastinating here. I'm scared about him - I feel too much, too soon and I'm just… argh. It's stupid."

"No, it's not, Brain." Obviously, it was not the time to talk to Youngjae about his own mixed up feelings with Mark. And certainly not the time to bring up Jinyoung and his run-in with his ex. He shook his head and took another deep breath and let that out with a sigh. He needed to be there for his friend. Just like his friend had been there for him. "So tell me about this man of yours."

There was a long pause before Youngjae spoke again. Jaebeom was only sure he hadn't hung up because he could hear the background noises of wherever Youngjae was. When the younger did finally speak, Jaebeom noted the quiet, more serious way his friend spoke and it spoke volumes about how much this new man meant to his best friend.

"Um… He's cute and he's funny. And he is pure! And sunshiney! And, oh my fucking god, I am going to screw this up so badly because he is literally a ray of sun-fucking-shine and I don't know how to deal with that utter pureness he has going on! Fuck! Help me Beomie! I don't want to screw this up. I didn't even know he liked me like that and then he confessed. That fucking beautiful sunshiney face fucking 'fessed up to fucked-up me!"

Jaebeom sighed at the panic in the other's voice. "So at what point were you going to 'fess up to him that _you_ liked him?"

 

* * * * *

 

Mark moved the laptop so he could climb on the bed. "So at what point were you going to 'fess up to him that you _liked_ him?" Mark asked, watching Youngjae on the screen. He lay back on the bed, eating shrimp crackers out of the bag while he watched the younger boy's flustered actions at the other end of the video call.

"I wasn't! Hahaha. It was a bit crazy at first. I mean it wasn't _that_ apparent that he liked me. I thought he was hot. He apparently thought I was too. When he kept saying hi to me when I went into the gym, I thought he was being polite but would privately squee about it." Youngjae screwed up his face at the thought of his dim-witted moments when his now boyfriend was hitting on him. "Okay, I was slow on the uptake, okay! I admit it."

"Pathetic," scoffed Mark with an indulgent smile on his face, placing more crackers in his mouth.

"And when he came over on the pretense of helping me with my shoelace…"

"Seriously - you have told me that story a few times now… "

"Sorry! I like him you know."

"You don't say," Mark was mildly sarcastic but he really was very happy for Youngjae. It was quite fun to watch Youngjae talking about his new man. Mark didn't feel all that cut up about losing this man to someone else. Maybe it was because he had his own sights on someone else - Jaebeom - but also perhaps because he knew Youngjae was better suited to someone else who wasn't Mark. That, and hello - Jaebeom. He shifted on the bed. He didn't need a hard on to deal with right now.

The other boy was laughing - even on screen his laugh was loud and his face filled the screen and was smiling broadly. Youngjae was loud as he exclaimed, "I know right?! But he was just so attractive! And a nice body. And his eyes are beautiful. And he sings, Mark! He sings! And it's beautiful and his voice is beautiful!"

"Sounds like you may have found your match there, Youngjae." Mark was sincerely happy for the boy that resembled a very happy otter.  

"Oh, I think I have. You really sure you don't mind?"

"What? No, of course not! I told you that already! Besides…" Mark stopped, wondering if he should mention Jaebeom. "I may have met someone," he added quietly.

"What was that, hyung? I didn't catch that last bit."

Mark was quiet. He didn't know he wanted to repeat what he'd said. But he was saved from having to make any further decisions because Youngjae jumped from his seat, excitement radiating from his slim frame. "Oh! Pizza's here! Hang on, I got to let him in. Hold on, hyung."

Mark placed his head on his hand as he turned onto his side with a small sigh. He wondered if he should mention Jaebeom or not. It's not like they were actually a thing. They were talking about travelling together after all. It wouldn't be crazy to tell friends that he was travelling with a newfound companion.

Mark and Jaebeom even managed to get each other's phone numbers after Wooyooung told them it would be crazy not to have each other's numbers. Well, that and his own blurted out 'Hey stalker give me your number. After all, we essentially rubbed cocks together in front of your ex, Jaebeom. Hand over your number like the desperate morning-after-a-one-night-stand.' He really needed to work on that filter. In his defence, there was a lot of soju and beer involved. But still, he was surprised that the man gave it to him.

Youngjae came padding back to the computer. "Sorry about that. It was the Pizza delivery. We are supposed to be having pizza for dinner. Guess Jae is running late."

Mark looked at the sad otter face. "Aw, I'm sure he'll be there as soon as he can, Youngjae. He won't be standing you up."

"Oh I know he won't, but I really am excited at you seeing him. So i was disappointed at having to wait. He's really good looking, Mark. Not like you, but that's possibly a good thing because you are just far too handsome and I'd be worried about all the other men and women who look at you… he's, like, different and I am hoping you nor he are each other's types! Hey maybe I shouldn't introduce you to him - he might like you better!"

Youngjae's laughter boomed from the laptop speakers and filled the empty room. Mark laughed along with him. "You're crazy. Well, you did say you mentioned me already. Otherwise he would never have asked you out!"

"Yeah. I know! When I texted you after the date, what I said still stands. I really like him. And I liked that he backed off when I first told him I had a bit of a connection with someone already. But he certainly beelined for me when Bam mentioned you had gone overseas for an unknown length of time and Bam said that it was too early to tell if we were going to be even a couple…

"Gee… thanks Bam…"

"... and that's when he asked if I wanted to see a movie."

"Well, he had the sense to know an opportunity when it came up!" Mark quipped. "But hey, thank Bam for being a dodgy as friend and encouraging the competition!"

"He said later that he was sorry. He said he hope you'd understand when you met him."

Mark smiled at the worried face of Youngjae. "Choi Youngjae, you like this man. Don't worry about me. I'm not like butthurt over this or anything like that. I do envy him, just a little, because you kiss damn fine."

It was his turn to watch with delight as the younger man flushed brightly and ducked his head in embarrassment at the praise. "Ai! Mark! Hyung! Well, thank you very much," he intoned in English before cackling loudly. "Oh my God, I can't believe I am getting embarrassed like this over one little comment! About my kissing technique. Ai!"

"You are so damn cute."

"Haha, thanks. I'm nervous about him meeting you now."

"Don't be. It'll be fine. He's met BamBam…?"

"Yup. And he met Jackson. Who he kind of knows already anyway? Because Jackson owns the gym right? And he met Bam's boyfriend too - you know him right?"

"Oh yes, he and I are close. It's how he and BamBam met actually, through me. Yugyeom and I go back a while."

"Well, you know what? He knows Yugyeom too. Through his friend or something. You know when I texted you and Bam and Yugyeom before the actual date, he was doing the exact same thing with his friends. That's how we found out he knew Yugyeom too! God, I was so nervous. He was too!"

"Well of course he was. _You_ made me nervous. I can only guess what _you_ did to him."

"Well, he was also making _me_ nervous! I just about didn't confess how I felt!"

"Well now you guys are dating and I could not be any more happier. I'm so glad you found someone," Mark smiled at Youngjae then jested, " - even if I had to miss out." Mark fell back on the bed, mock clutching his chest and made noises as if he was cut up about it. Youngjae's responding laugh made him lift his head to look back at the boy on the screen. "You mock my pain!" Mark cried out. "You never loved me!"

"Hyung, stop!" Youngjae was laughing so hard he almost fell from his seat. "It's okay. I'll still jump you if you like."

Mark stopped, lifting a brow flirtingly. He rolled over and moved close to face the the screen and camera. "Really?" he drawled, rolling out the word invitingly. "And how would said new boyfriend like this about his boyfriend?"

"Oh it's ok, hyung. I told you. We talked about the fact that I would jump your bones and well, Jae said he'd jump you too so it's ok. He's not concerned about you at all."

Youngjae's new boyfriend's name made Mark think about what Jaebeom would do if he saw this cute young man jump him. He laughed at the image of Jaebeom's jaw coming out in anger, and the bristling the other man would do at someone touching him. Hell, he didn't even like Taecyeon back hugging him the other night. "Yeah, I don't think he'd like that at all.

"He'd be fine!"

"No, I meant _my_ … I mean… never mind."

" _Your_ what, hyung?" Youngjae looked at him with suspicion in his eyes. "Oh my god you are having a fling! You found yourself a hot new romance!"

Mark winced. He stalled for a moment. Then he blurted out, "I may have met someone."

"You what?" Youngjae's voice was high pitched and excited.

Mark was quiet. He didn't know he wanted to repeat what he'd said."I may have met someone," he said a little more forcefully.

"A holiday fling that you said you wouldn't be having," Youngjae teased.

Mark rolled onto his back and grabbed a pillow to throw over his face. "Off-mompf-onnah-fawk-offa-mit."

"What?"

He pulled the pillow off his face for a moment, "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Hey! I talk about mine! You tell me about this!"

Mark rolled back over and rolled at the cute otter face staring frowning at him. "I - you - hey, I've mentioned him."

He watched the screen carefully as realisation dawned on Youngjae's face. "Oh my god, " he breathed. "Is this stalker dude?"

"Yes!"

"Oh my god, Mark! You have fallen for your stalker? What _has_ Japan done to you???"

 

* * * * *

 

_“We fear beginnings; we fear endings. We fear changing; we fear “staying stuck.” We fear success; we fear failure. We fear living; we fear dying.” ― Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway_

When - in the beginning - do you decide you are going to make it work? When is it that you put your faith in the unknown and just do it anyway? When you decide to feel the fear and do it anyway? Nothing is more paralysing than the fear of fear itself and Mark decided that he'd had enough.

He'd been stuck for several years now because he blamed everything and everyone for his misery. He hurt because his parents died. He hurt because he and Taecyeon were no longer together. He hurt because his family was in Los Angeles. He hurt because he hid from himself.

It was up to him to celebrate his parents' lives, for what they had contributed to this world, to their friends and family members. It was up to him to fix what he broke when he tore apart himself and Taecyeon and ran away, never coming back until now. And it was up to him to visit his family and to call them and see them, not selfishly expect all of them to come to him.

But most of all - it was up to him to feel the fear of falling in love and just do it anyway. And the only way to do that was to take a leap of faith.

He took a deep breath and pressed the call button.

"Jaebeom? Hi, it's Mark...um...it's...me. About that tandem bungy - do you think you want to go ahead and do that if I can get a booking?"

 

* * * * *

 

Jaebeom gulped as he looked out. _Don't look down_. He looked down. Fuck.

"It's enough to give you a hard-on, isn't it?" Mark unknowingly echoed Taecyeon's words from a few days ago. The day was well on its way, sun climbing high into the sky and burning down on them. Mark spoke again, his voice soft. "I can leave you to yourself, you know."

"No, don't do that," Jaebeom reached across to grab his wrist involuntarily. His eyes went wide as he realised what he'd done. Before he could snatch his hand back, the older boy grabbed it and twined their fingers together.

"Finders Keepers." Mark smirked at him, fingers holding on firmly, yet lose enough that Jaebeom could pull free if he wanted. But he didn't want to. Jaebeom looked down at the intertwined hands, feeling the warmth against his palm. It felt... pleasurable, yet tingly. He felt another rush of feeling elsewhere; his dick stirred at his hand being grasped by Mark's and the older boy's thumb rubbing light circles against his wrist. He almost moaned at intensity of his cock jumping to hardness as tingles spread like lightning from his wrist to his groin. He wanted to reach across and pull Mark toward him, pulling him up against his body.

"I have to be honest with you. I'm the one who's the stalker."

Jaebeom distractedly replied, "Eh what?"

"Sorry. I mean, if anything, I'm your stalker. Not you mine. As much as I like the idea of you stalking me. I don't totally get it but I seem to be able to hone in on when you are around. Call it a sixth sense or something, but if you are in the vicinity, I feel it and I can spot you before you spot me. So in a way, I'm probably the one stalking you."

The man was rambling and Jaebeom just stared at him. But when he realised what the man had said...Jaebeom was floored by this. "You can sense me? I don't know how to feel about this."

"Call it spidey senses or something. Do you really object now we're here?"

"Well…" Jaebeom made shrugging gesture that made the other boy laugh. People were milling around them but they paid them no notice, only all too aware of one another and their proximity to one another - which was close - very close; very, very close. "Err… what do you think?"

Mark was staring at the younger in a distracted manner. His thinking face was making his lips purse into a pout. Jaebeom wanted to press his lips against them. Mark finally noticed Jaebeom waiting for a answer. "What do I think...Of what? Of this? Us? You know what I think."

"We've barely met." His eyes were met by a firm gaze. Jaebeom shifted as much as he able to.

"We're here now." Mark's voice was soft.

"Yes, but we're not… it's unusual."

"It's not like we're moving in together or anything."

Silence. Jaebeom thought he may have a point. He'd been cautious after Jinyoung. But he realised that as much as his relationship broke down and caused its own demise, Jinyoung was to blame as much as Jaebeom. Jaebeom felt he was taking his own responsibility for what he lent to the situation - not being there enough, perhaps not showing or saying it enough - his love for Jinyoung that is. Because even though he did not know what caused it to end, he knows that whatever they had together, it had been on its way out. They had been slowly dying. Jaebeom had been going through the motions. It would have died because they had not been watering it. But now… he wanted more. Mark made him feel more. He wanted Mark more. Whatever it was that Mark was offering - because with Mark, he felt alive.

"So?" Mark pressed.

Jaebeom peeked up at him from beneath his lashes. "So this is a holiday romance… Is it?" he teased, holding up their linked hands.

"Is it?" Mark bit his lip and smiled.

The whimsical smile on the other's face made Jaebeom pause. "Isn't it?"

Mark cocked his head to the side. "I don't know. Do you want it to be?"

Words of a song reverberated in his head 'Leap of Faith - do you doubt?' The younger took a deep breath. "I know I want this," Jaebeom said firmly.

"Good. I want this too."

"Do you …" He left the question hanging, unable to voice it aloud. He wanted to know if Mark was all in, but it was too much for him to say it. At least, for now. But Mark seemed to be on the same - at least, Jaebeom thought so.

"Yes. If you want…?"

"Yes." Jaebeom's voice was firm. God, yes.

"Then let's…" He held out his hand, palm up, fingers curled in, thumb out. In or out, he seemed to be silently saying.

Jaebeom looked at his hand for a moment. He took a deep breath, expelling it with force. He squeezed the hand holding his, "Okay…"

Turning that hand over, Mark gave the thumbs up signal to the staff who had been hanging back. The bungy staff stepped forward and finished their prep and gave detailed instructions to the two men… Then it was countdown.

They counted down before they each took a deep breath and together, they jumped off the bridge.

Together.

Free falling.

The air was rushing in their ears, the wind passing over their faces and their mouths were open in duplicate wild grins.

Leap of faith. Everyone should do it. Feel the fear and do it anyway. While he should have been scared or filled with trepidation of the prospect of a new relationship, Jaebeom was feeling the fear, and letting himself feel, and the hand that held his made it seem worth it. Mark Tuan - with him, everything was possible.

* * * * *

  



	14. So Kiss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrenaline is helping to push their relationship forward. And Jaebeom uses it to finally kiss Mark. Will Jaebeom and Mark succumb to seemingly inevitable attraction that they hold for one another? Will this be when they finally do something about it? Who is seducing whom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, this is a shorter chapter because well it is. 
> 
> Secondly, warning - here in is a lot of uses of the word 'fuck'. It apparently is what both Mark and Jaebeom feel comfortable using to express any high emotion they feel. Also a little extended foreplay ahead i.e. smut. because I felt they needed to get some of that sexual tension out. If that is not your thing, please back out now. Otherwise, for those who have joined my little train... enjoy...

* * *

"That was - fuckballs - amazing!!!"

The high pitched yell was echoed by the whoops of excited laughter from the other man.

Jaebeom's stomach was churning with adrenaline and elation and he was flying high from the rush of their bungee jump and he was pretty sure that Mark felt the same way. Both of them were alight with excitement and adrenaline. They jumped out of the boat and back onto the bank of the river that they had just bungee-jumped over. They both bounced in their excitement, grabbing, and talked animatedly over one another.

"Did you…?"

"I felt…"

"That was..."

"Fucking awesome!"

"Fuck," exclaimed Mark, unable to keep his feet on the ground and jumping up and down, "... that was just… FUCK!"

Jaebeom laughed at the other man's intense and passionate description. He, too, was feeling the same intensity and without warning, Jaebeom swept Mark into his arms and hugged him in his excitement. Mark stilled momentarily in surprise, but Jaebeom pretended not to notice.

Jaebeom almost shrieked with the emotion that bubbled out of his throat. He settled for an excited shout. "ARGH! I could do that again!" Jaebeom was beyond ecstatic right now. He wanted to hug Mark so he was going to hug him. "Wait! No, I couldn't, but FUCK that was fucking awesome!"

Mark's delighted laughter rang out in the air, his long fingers clutching at Jaebeom's shoulders; the younger man could feel the slim hands bracing themselves on his broad shoulders as he swung them around.

"I know right?!" Mark replied excitedly, glowing with happiness. "It was fucking awesome. Shit! Shit! Shit! I could do that over and over again. It's like flying, man. Fuck. That was fucking awesome."

Jaebeom paused and put the man down and beamed, his smile wide as he gazed at Mark. He looked at the beautiful, flushed, laughing face with those full pink lips.

 _Fuck it._ He leaned across and bridged the gap, pressing his lips hard against the surprised man's mouth. He felt the quiver against his lips, and thinking he'd overstepped the line, regretfully, he started to pull back when to his surprise, he felt the tip of the other man's tongue bold swipe along his lower lip.

Did Mark… He brought his hand up to curve his fingers around the nape of the slender man's neck, as he felt him melt into his kiss. Softly, Jaebeom parted his lips, his heart racing, squeezing the man's waist briefly before pressing against the other man more, pulling the other man's body closer to his. He felt the man part his lips wider giving him access...

 _Fuck,_ his brain whispered quietly to him. _I know,_ he answered back.

The heat from the athletically-built man radiated against him and his body responded immediately to the warmth and the feel of the other man's hardening cock against the front of his hip. His breath expelled with a harsh gasp, his brain short-circuited and he stopped thinking and could only feel… the slim body in the curve of his and his cock begged to be freed.

"Fuck, Mark," he breathed as Mark's tongue, insistent and persistent, pushed and slid its way in, to slide tantalisingly against his; all slick and wet; teasing and bold. His own lips firm as he further deepened the kiss, his hand grappled at the leaner man's waist, to bunch the material there while simultaneously pulling on the man's ass, pulling him up and hard against his own hard cock. Holding the man firmly against him, he rocked his hips, grinding their cocks together, earning himself a harsh groan and a growl, before the blond pressed harder against him and a soft bite on his lower lip.

His balls tightened at the scrape of Mark's teeth against his inner lip and an "Ah fuck me! Mark!" slipped past his lips unbidden as Jaebeom felt pre-come leaking from his cock. Mark relentlessly plundered his mouth, alternating between sucking hotly on his tongue and nipping at his lips before crushing their mouths together. Jaebeom felt dizzy and aroused, frustrated and desired all at once.

They pulled apart for air with a gasp, leaning foreheads against one another. He tilted Mark's face towards his and planted another firm kiss with a chaser of tongue as he swept along the shorter man's bottom lip before he pulled away nervously. "Thank you," he said sincerely as he looked the man in the face. "That was damn fun."

He watched the other man, the way the tip of his tongue dashed out to nervously lick his lips. "The bungee or the kiss?"

"Take it how you want."

"Can I take you?"

He let out a hiss of almost pain at the imagery that presented itself in his head. "Fuck, Mark. You have no idea how much I want to do that right now."

A soft cough and a gently spoken " _Sumimasen…_ " reminded them of where they were. They started in shock and surprise and guilt. They had both completely forgotten about the Japanese staff who had collected them from the end of their jump.

Hurriedly, they parted and bowed low, apologising profusely to the Japanese bungee workers. They shared a guilty glance before apologising once more.

Meekly, Jaebeom and Mark followed them back to where their bags and jackets were left, exchanging bold yet shy glances with one another, but all the while holding one another's hands. Quietly collecting their gear, they thanked the staff before making their way to the vehicle that would take them to Hakone. Jaebeom thought the biggest thrill so far was holding Mark's hand - it was as good… no, it was _better_ than bungee. He couldn't wipe the grin from his face all the way to the car. He didn't want to.

 

* * * * *

 

The landscape was going past fast, blurring into a stream of coloured lines. But it did not matter for Mark sat, unseeing, looking out the window, chewing on his lip and lost in his thoughts.

Fuck, that kiss was a kiss and then some. Mark shifted in his seat, adjusting his seat belt a fraction as his dick stirred at the memory. Jaebeom made him have much higher expectations for first kisses in the future. He lifted his hand and thumbed at his lip in recollection. He sniggered quietly as he pulled at his lip. That man sure knew how to kiss - it made his toes curl and his hole clench. Those Japanese workers were almost scarred if they hadn't coughed at the moment. Who knows how far that would have gone had they not announced their presence.

He fidgeted with his hands. His gut was churning with mixed emotions - most of it excitement, elation, but there was also desire, and fear. He was here with Jaebeom. They were really going to do this. He took a deep breath. He was going to have a relationship for the next few days until Jaebeom left the country. It was a fling.

They were covering a fair bit of distance in the next few days, and he wasn't thinking about just the distance on the ground, but in the realm of distance in terms of emotional and physical intimacy. He and Jaebeom had made plans to go on a trip, but they also made plans to become something, an item, a couple, for however long they had.

This meant they would to go to bungee first, then hoof it all the way around to Hakone and hope for whatever happens, happens. But they'd been in luck when they found the bungy company had a site in near Fuji City, in Ashitakayama. This meant they could do all the things they wanted to do in the short space of time that they had, including several romantic nights away as well as the sightseeing that both Jaebeom and Mark wanted to do. So now they were on their way to see Mt Fuji from one of the five lakes in Kanagawa Prefecture where Taecyeon and Wooyoung had booked a room for them.

Taecyeon and Wooyoung had been so good to him. He hoped that they would eventually make that relationship official instead of hedging about like they still were. But Mark knew that for Taecyeon, he had needed the closure between he and Mark before he could really move on. And the last few days spent hanging out with Taecyeon and talking (and crying) and talking really helped both Mark and Taecyeon. He knew that he himself wasn't completely healed but he'd made a start. He'd even video called his family in LA and with Taecyeon at his side, he'd been able to talk through some of his grief with them. Tammy and Grace had cried. Joey just called him a moron. But all in all, it was definitely a more positive step forward in healing. Mark knew he would be forever grateful to have such a man as Taecyeon to call 'friend', and by extension, also Wooyoung.

As a parting gift, Taecyeon and Wooyoung had paid for a car and driver for them so they could be driven around in comfort and peace they said, but Mark knew it was more to help Mark and Jaebeom with getting to know one another, and like the mischievous plotting men that Taecyeon and Wooyoung were, to keep their hands free for... _other_ things.

Something clenched hard in the pit of his stomach.

Was this really a good idea? A short term fling with a man he found so incredibly attractive? Or maybe it was already too late? They had already flirted for days and this trip sealed the deal on the inevitable event they'd been hurtling toward since they first meant.

The phone conversation had left no doubt in Mark's mind that this is what the other man had in mind. What Jaebeom said was actually, "I'd like to see more of you before I leave. I know that this is bad timing, considering I'm about to leave the country, and well you live here, but I, uh, think that it would be more pleasant to enjoy the next few days together. If that's okay with you, that is."

He did not let on to the contrary that he did not live in Japan. Something held him back from correcting the other man's assumption. He didn't want to know where the other man was from either. It would probably pain him if this went well and he found out that the man lived at the other end of the country to him. Long distance was not a relationship he was interested in.

They laid it bare that they both accepted that there were no strings attached - that this is whatever this is and after this, that neither had expectations to go further. They weren't going to set limitations in place so there may or may not be sex involved. But Mark highly doubted that they would leave it off the menu, so to speak, after that kiss.

Mark leaned his head back against his seat rest. His heart was racing. He glanced across at the other man and found his gaze on him. He bit his lip at the intensity he found in the other man's eyes and gave him back a smoldering look of his own. He heard the sudden intake of breath, saw the slight widening of the eyes before a smirk graced those full lips. He noted the tendency Jaebeom had to smirk like a bad boy, lips lifting only on one side of his face, tongue poking at the corner of his mouth, making Mark want to lean across to chase that tongue with his own. The smirk turned into a smug look the longer Mark looked.

"See something you like?" Jaebeom's tone, too, was as smug as the look on his face. Mark let his eyes rove down the other man's body. Mark raised a brow in appreciation as he slid his gaze down before coming back to meet his eyes. "Yes. Something I want."

He slid across as far the belt would allow him, hand sliding up to grip the man's nape, pulling him forward for a kiss. The feel of Jaebeom's lips was soft, yet firm, warm and inviting. He pressed his forehead against the dark-haired man's. "You're fucking amazing, you know that?"

He drew back, squeezing the back of his neck briefly before settling back to his seat.

Jaebeom just grinned, gave a slight twitch of his head, face flushed, and turned back to his phone.

 _Cute_.

Mark turned back to the window, a smile on his face and spark in his heart. They were really doing this.

 

* * * * *

 

_It was the base of Mt Fuji. He was really at the base of Mt Fuji. He was here._

Technically they weren't at the base exactly, but they were at one of the five lakes and the imposing mountain was beautiful. The sky was astoundingly clear, save the clouds that reportedly perpetually lived around the summit and he could see it in all its glory. He was here. The immensity of one of the tallest mountains in the world was almost overwhelming. He took a deep breath and looked up toward the top of the mountain. It couldn't really be seen from down here, but it gave you a good indication of just how much work it would take to climb that. It was hard to marry the pictures of the picturesque photos of Mt Fuji with the actuality of standing at the broad base of the magnificent mountain.

"It's beautiful." He was truly astounded at how gorgeous and breathtaking this was. His imagination had not prepared him for this. He had his camera but could not lift it for he was breathing in that sight. "The view is truly beautiful."

"Yes, it is," Mark replied, behind him.

A note in the other man's tone made him turn. Jaebeom turned to see Mark looking at him, not at the scenery. In a sudden moment of realisation he realised the other man meant him - _he_ was beautiful. He ducked his head, feeling suddenly flattered and shy, he peeked up through his lashes and beamed. The other man grinned back.

"Did you just…?"

"Yes."

Mark just flat out, bold-faced flirted with him. _Him_. Im Jaebeom was just hit on by the most gorgeous man on the planet. Jaebeom took a deep breath and let it out explosively. " _Wow_. Does that really work?"

Mark shrugged, still smiling softly at him. "I don't know. How are you feeling right now?"

Jaebeom shrugged, a broad grin on his face. "Pretty flattered, I have to admit. You just compared me to Mt Fuji. That's making me feel pretty good about myself right now."

"And so you should."

"Yeah. I'm …. Yeah."

He stood there looking down at his feet, feeling slightly bashful now. Mark had slid an arm around his waist, resting his chin on his shoulder. Jaebeom gently placed a hand over the older man's and they stood looking at the place he'd always desperately wanted to go in his dreams.

It felt like a dream.

Here he was, with a man who was as beautiful as this mountain. A man who had just flattered and complimented him and held him as if he was precious.

Jaebeom was feeling pretty damn good. Today had been a good decision. He wondered fleetingly if tonight he'd be thinking the same.

They stared at the mountain for a bit longer, relishing more in the quiet and the intimacy of their hold. Jaebeom held onto Mark, feeling the hand beneath his, and loving the way they fit together. He liked the way they felt together. He liked them together - end of. It was scary to think that about a week or so ago, he had met this man and now here they were sharing the final days of his impromptu runaway holiday. He was greedy. He wanted to have more and yet he was still fearful of letting go entirely. This man might not be in his life for any longer than the next few days. Unconsciously, his grip tightened on the older man's hand. He wasn't sure how he felt about letting this man go after their trip. He figured it would be hard to do so. But what choice did they have? It was even him that said he only wanted Mark to accompany him for his last days - what right did he have to ask for more than that. He didn't even know if Mark would be up for coming to visit once Jaebeom went home. Flights weren't cheap. Maybe he should do what he can to keep as many memories as possible. He thought about his camera and figured he should start taking as many photos as he could to capture their time together. Something told him he'd regret it if he didn't.  

"Mark?"

"Hmm?"

"I want to take photos."

"Hmm?"

"It's hard when I'm encumbered with you."

"I'm just hard for you."

"Seriously?"

Mark let him go with a wry smile, and a pat on his butt.

"Go on then. Take your time. It'll be worth all the photos you take. It is a beautiful place. I don't want you to regret not taking as many photos as possible."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. You won't regret it when you look at the photos later. Take as many as you need."

Jaebeom felt his face break into the widest smile he'd had in a long time as the man settled himself on the ground to wait for him. He started to mentally consider and compile the photos in his head that he wanted to see in the end as he shot photo after photo.

So many times he thought he'd got the best photo then he'd walk around and there would yet another angle that was even better. By the end of thirty minutes he'd alloted himself, he'd taken far too many photos of the blond at every angle.

 _Oops_ .

He stood there looking down at the screen, checking out some of the photos he'd taken.

In his defense, he had taken photos of the mountain too as well as his favourite subject - the sky. But the photos of the blond lifting his face to the sun was by far going to be one of his faves, he already knew that. He felt the other man come up close and he could feel anticipation within him build. Silently he chastised himself for feeling like a teenage boy with his first crush. He glanced up at the man, stopping as he took in the blond-ness glowing under the light of the sun, and absently wondering where the man's cap had gone. He licked his lips and turned back towards the mountain, but highly sensitive to the man's presence.

He realised he wanted his touch.

Mark's touch.

After that look in Mark's eyes earlier, Jaebeom just wanted to be touched by him. When he felt the firm touch of the other man's hand at the small of his back, it was with a small sigh that he leaned back against the other's man's hand. He let out the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. Slim fingers pressed lightly upon the small of his back; they slid languidly up his spine, causing a sharp shiver to race through him. A small chuckle from the lithe man standing behind him, close enough for his breath to coast over the skin at his neck. Jaebeom shivered again, his pulse increasing with anticipation.

Strong fingers gripped his shoulders and a warm chest pressed against his back. Sparks of something flew through his body, the excitement building. He gulped. A warm tongue dipped delicately into the curve behind his ear. He breathed sharply.

 _Mark_.

A wealth of feelings grew in Jaebeom - feelings of anticipation, excitement, fear, want, desire, and most of all need. A need that had his stomach and balls clenching, his nipples tightening and hardening, and his breath coming in short, sharp, little gasps. He was hard. Really hard. Painfully hard. He wanted more. He wanted so much more. The adrenaline was coursing through him still and he wanted _him_. Jaebeom's lips parted, breath escaping with a gasp as he arched his head back. He leaned back against the other man, silently asking for more. One of the man's arms to snake around his waist while the other hand slid up to cradle his neck. He leaned his head to one side, baring his neck, bracing it for the onslaught from the mouth that pressed and licked, trailing its way down his skin.

 _Fuck_.

He swallowed hard, imagining those lips, that tongue, sliding against another part of him. It felt so good, so hot, so… oh fuck… a moan left his lips. Instinctively, he swayed his body toward his man, mutely asking him to smooth and caress any part of him. He heard the gentle laugh before the slender hand stirred at his waist, shifting from his waist to trail casually, almost lazily, along the waistband of his pants, drawing insolent little circles over his abs. Involuntarily, he jerked his hips in response and he heard the chuckle against the curve of his throat.

"Jaebeomie…" he felt the whisper of his name against his skin, goosebumps rising as Mark's tongue lapped at his skin. "Fuck, you're so beautiful. Far more beautiful than this mountain. I'd fuck you here, right now, if only we didn't have an audience. I'd like to enjoy you to myself before sharing you with others' eyes."

An electric current ran through Jaebeom at the thought and he opened the eyes he hadn't realised he'd closed. There were people moving above them, luckily on another level of ground so they were unseen for now. He breathed unsteadily, trying to ground himself after that unearthly piece of foreplay. If this was foreplay, he was so screwed. His breathing was heavy and even to his own ears, he sounded like he was panting as if he'd run a marathon.

"Mark…" he breathed.

Mark's arm moved to sling itself over his shoulder and he was pulled into another back hug from the blond, and he felt the man drop his chin onto his shoulder, also breathing heavily. He could feel the man's erection against his ass. It made his breathing even more challenging. He took a few deep breaths, willing his own hardness and ache away, but it was made more troublesome when the other man swept a palm over his erect length. He jerked against that warm palm with a low growl and felt the snigger against his back. He frowned and pouted.

A soft kiss was pressed again the side of his neck. "I'm sorry, Beomie. I'll stop now."

He nodded before allowing himself to relax into Mark's hold. If that day was any indication of what their time was going to be like, then Jaebeom got the feeling they'd be in bed together before the end of the day. Not that he minded, as he'd thought it was inevitable with the way that they had been meeting up and the flirting with the hot glances and he'd be glad to give up the many cold showers.

They moved when they felt it was safe to move - noticeably after both erections finally subsided. Which took a while because Mark was a goddamn tease, Jaebeom noted.

They got back in the car and the driver took them to their lodge to check in. They were surprised when they pulled into the ryokan.

Taecyeon and Wooyoung had really gone all out. Between the car and driver, and this particular ryokan, one would think that Mark and Jaebeom were on a couples weekend. But therein lay one very large issue…It was pretty nice and looked very hospitable...

They were standing in their room. They had known that they would be sharing one room.

But ...

There was one very large, very much, a king-sized bed. One. Only one. And the lodge was fully booked. Jaebeom didn't know whether to curse them or thank them.

"I'm sorry, Jaebeom. I should have thought to double check." Mark sounded annoyed and exasperated.

Jaebeom counted to ten, trying to control himself from pouncing on the slimmer man and throwing him on said king bed. "Mark, it's only for the one night. I think we can deal with it." His brain scoffed at him. Jaebeom ignored it. "Besides, the lodge is fully booked."

He watched as Mark ran an agitated hand through his hair. _God, he'd like to run his hand through that hair too._

Mark spoke and Jaebeom re-focused on the older man. "Look, Jaebeom, just so we're clear, I didn't have any expectations from you. I didn't come here expecting to … fuck you. I mean, I know we have talked about it, but just know that I hadn't thought ahead and thought it was a done deal or anything… Oh fuck, I'll just shut up now." The blond was clearly upset at how Jaebeom might take this, but Jaebeom thought if anything this might actually help cut through some of the crap they'd have to do if there were two rooms. They did only have limited time after all. And no point in wasting a room - right?

"What?" Jaebeom asked, arching his brows. " - no designs on my virtue? I'm saddened by this. I'd expected all night sex at the very least." Mockingly, Jaebeom fluttered his lashes at Mark.

The gesture broke Mark's tension at the situation and he laughed, showing those beautiful teeth and boyish grin. "You are impossible, you dork," he said as he reached for Jaebeom's hand, but Jaebeom shook a warning finger at him.

Jaebeom tsked at him with a teasing smirk. "No, not impossible. I'm not _easy_ , but I'm not impossible. Just work a little harder, Mark." He walked away, aware of Mark's following look and headed toward the door. He hoped the man was staring at his ass. He'd worked hard on that ass. "Come on, let's go check out the onsen," he invited. He grabbed the door handle, but took a sharp breath before he turned back. "You can even see me naked," he teased.

He looked back at Mark who was still standing there, but this time with a somewhat assessing look on his face.

He laughed when he heard Mark declare, "Well fuck. The boy has balls after all."

He doesn't know what prompted him to reply with, "Yes, why don't you come up and feel them sometime?"

He just knew that all the breath was knocked out of him as Mark strode over to him and pushed him back against the wall, sinfully rolling his hips over him so that Jaebeom could the hardness of Mark's cock slide against his own. _Damn_. "Oh, I fully intend on doing just that," Mark drawled softly, his face so close that Jaebeom only had to lean forward and their lips would be touching. Mark leaned closer, "I'll lick them... and your pretty cock too." Jaebeom's brain short-circuited and Mark took advantage, dipping his head and slipping his tongue into Jaebeom's mouth; sliding, teasing his tongue with slick deftness. Mark ended with a flick of his tongue against Jaebeom's lips and a rock of his hips.

"Shall we go then?" Mark smirked before pushing off the wall, leaving Jaebeom out of breath, mouth agape.

 _Fuck_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, damn. that was a bit fluffier than I thought it was going to be. Big fluffballs are Jaebeom and Mark apparently. 
> 
> Both Jaebeom and Mark are feeling themselves here. Big teases. I feel sorry for both of them to be honest - imagine all that sexual energy being put off like that. Gah! 
> 
> We will get to see a detailed chapter of that energy being released... namely, gratuitous smut being smutty for smut's sake. For those who have been waiting, say aye! Or maybe it should be aite aite aite...


	15. Touch Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jaebeom and Mark finally work out how to get the other into bed...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank islandahgase and ObliviousChyld for providing me with stimulating gifs and pictures to get this update done. I also thank GOT7 for have such a brilliant stage concept for Japanese comeback that I got this chapter done and dusted so quickly. Smutty from here on in. Leave now if you don't like smut. If you do, then by all means... welcome... enjoy and come in.

* * *

"Mark… stop. Wait." Mark felt Jaebeom grab his arm preventing Mark from stepping away. Mark looked at him and waited.

Jaebeom made a strangled noise in his throat. "Are you always this …" Jaebeom seemed at a loss for words.

"Hot? Sexy?" Mark said sardonically. He laughed to himself as Jaebeom's jutting chin came out.

"Aw, you getting mad, Jaebeommie?" Mark taunted, pouting before he smirked in what he hoped was a sexy way. He quite liked the idea of Jaebeom being mad during sex. He'd bet that that anger would give way to some of the most intense sex he'd have experienced to date. Considering Jaebeom wore his emotions on his sleeve, this man would be passionate as all hell in bed. "I'd like to see you all angry - think it would make for a challenge and great angry sex."

Jaebeom dropped his arm with a tsk. "You're a tease, Mark Tuan."

Jaebeom went to stride past him in annoyance, but Mark forestalled him by grabbing _his_ arm and pulling him back against him, snaking an arm behind his back and holding the man firm against him. He searched his eyes, looking for ...ah, _that_ \- the desire in Jaebeom's eyes. His voice was soft as he told the younger man, "I like you, Im Jaebeom," staying in the other man's personal space. "I like you a lot. Otherwise I wouldn't be here."

His eyes kept searching the other man's face, noting the softness in the younger as he listened to Mark. Mark wanted to tell him more; he wanted this to be completely clear, and free of any and all misunderstandings.

He took a deep breath. "I won't hide that I want you," he said frankly. He didn't think he could make it more plain. "You asked for me. You shall receive. Are you ready for all of this? For all of what we said we wanted out of the next few days?" He waited until Jaebeom nodded silently. Mark turned serious and he held onto the man, gripping his waist tightly. "All joking and teasing aside… I won't do this as a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. And I won't pretend something that I don't feel. There is little to no guarantee that neither of us won't catch feels by the end of this, so if you want to run away from that, I completely understand. However, I want you to understand that I'm going to make damn sure that whatever memories you take away from these two days with me - they are going to be some of the best you have to look back on."

His fingers tightened on the other man's skin. He wanted to be the best for Jaebeom - he wasn't going to look at the reasons why until Jaebeom left his company for home though; Mark didn't think his heart could take that right now. His voice choked up a little as he said, "I want you to go back home knowing that someone cared about you, and not as something that someone threw away. I refuse for Jinyoung to make your stay in Japan something mediocre when it's one of the most beautiful places in the world. You will be on your rocking chair in your old age saying that you had the best time in Japan, and that you got to see some of the most amazing things and met the most amazing people - not that you ran away from a heartbreak caused by a dickhead. Understand?" Jaebeom looked at him, eyes wide with some emotion that Mark could not name. Mark sighed. He did not want any misunderstandings about what they were doing. "Do you understand and do you agree or am I assuming too much?" he asked softly, biting his lip.

The other man sighed and nodded. "I understand. But Mark - when I said to you I wanted you to spend the next few days with me, I didn't expect you to be… it … just… it will be what it is. I am not expecting moonlight and roses..."

Mark smiled at him warmly and leaned in to place his lips at the curve between his neck and shoulder. "I know, Jaebeom," he murmured against his skin. "But I'm an all in or all out sort of fellow and when I agreed to this, I agreed to being all in. And that to me -- is giving you everything while you're here to give it to. And besides… you're hot and I kinda want to see you naked and blushing while I lick my way down your happy trail..." He teased the other man by trailing his tongue along his collarbone.

"Who said … oh... _shit_."

Mark laughed softly against the base of his throat. "Yeah, Jaebeommie… shit. I will do my damndest to make sure you have the time of your life - in and out of bed for the next few days until you have to leave… You will not be able to walk properly onto that plane..."

"Mark…"

He shut whatever Jaebeom was about to say by crushing his mouth onto his. He put everything into that kiss. He wanted all of him for the next 48 hours. He poured his feelings and energy into that kiss. When he felt the man was suitably pliant in his arms, he finally lifted his head.

"Let's head out… because as much as I want to bed you right the fuck now, I want to do this well. Let's enjoy the rest of the day and then we can man cave later for as long as we can. Agreed?"

Mark led them out the door. He thought it might be safer being outdoors for now. And besides, they wanted to have a look around Hakone. Though the exchange of words at their door plagued him. He was still semi hard and it was making it awkward to walk around because his balls hurt. They fucking ached. In a macabre, revenge kind of way, he hoped Jaebeom felt the same way.

Mark felt Jaebeom staring hard at his back as they wandered down the corridor.

"Stop it. You're drilling holes in my back."

He could almost guarantee that Jaebeom's face would be all flushed at his words. He glanced back. Bingo. He eye-rolled dramatically. "And stop being embarrassed about it. I have a great ass - look at that instead."

Jaebeom went bright red as some other guests wandered past them and quickly they bowed their heads in greeting. Jaebeom spluttered quietly in an aside, "You're … you're… "

Mark turned to him and raised a brow at him in query. "What? You want to comment on what… I'm an ass? You're or your? If the latter, my what, Jabeeommie? My cock? My ass? My mouth on your cock? Or would you prefer on your ass? Would you like me to lick you or eat you out? What are you trying to say?" Mark teased him and he found he couldn't help it. Jaebeom got _so_ damn cute when he was all flustered.

"Aish, stop it," Jaebeom tilted his head in consternation and Mark wrinkled his nose in enjoyment and amusement. "You're being so cocky."

"Cocky eh? But we know you like my cock. You like my cock well enough when I push it against you all the time."

"Is this how it's going to be all the rest of today?" Jaebeom's eyes were wide, looking concerned and alarmed at the thought..

"I'm teasing you, Jaebeom-ah. Either that or I really am this smutty-mouthed and you will need to stuff something in my mouth to shut me up… something hard and thick..."

"You're a fucking cock, Mark Tuan." Jaebeom laughed and shook his head.

"I'm not the one that insists on looking like a penis head. Lose the bucket hat or I keep making comments penis-related for the rest of the day."

"Does the hat make you think of my cock, then?"

Mark halted mid-stride, and thought about it. "Yes. Yes it does," he said after a moment.

His mouth dropped open when Jaebeom patted his ass and said "Good. I'll keep it on then."

 

* * * * *

 

The words exchanged before they left their room seemed to have the tone for the remainder of their day. And to both Mark and Jaebeom it seemed as if the other had taken their exchange as a challenge.

Jaebeom thought that perhaps because it was a foregone conclusion that they would end up in the same bed together, but that exchange seemed to ensure that the journey there would be fraught with innuendoes, outright declarations and moments of riling each other up.

Like when Mark told Jaebeom that he would love them to fuck in one of the Hakone Ropeway gondolas so that they would feel what it's like to fall off the world when they both came...

Or when - after Mark said this in a low growl - in the ten minutes between Sounzan Station and Owakudani Station, Jaebeom had become so hard that he'd slipped his hand down his own pants palming his cock and Mark had slid next to him on the seat putting _his_ hand down Jaebeom's pants too…

Then Mark letting his fingers stroke the side of Jaebeom's cock and Jaebeom - feeling the older man's slim fingers sliding directly against his skin - his mind had blown at the approximately one hundred and thirty metres above the earth…

And when he pushed Mark against the seat of the gondola at the Hakone Ropeway and pushed his hips rhythmically against the other, telling the moaning man beneath him in a hoarse voice that it was only a small taste of the action he intended on doing later; earning himself yet another groan and a bucking of hips, before he pulled up the slimmer man's hips around his waist and tongued the blond's throat as the blond arched his head back and they both completely missed the great view of Sagami Bay and Mount Fuji.

When they got back to the ryokan, it was dinner time. And dinner was in the shared dining area... and although they were in the shared dining room, at a table for just the two of them, it felt like they were in their own world. Heated glances were exchanged and both Mark and Jaebeom were having to adjust and readjust discreetly. Jaebeom couldn't forget the feel of Mark's hand on his skin, and Mark whispered that he couldn't forget the feel of Jaebeom's cock beneath his fingertips, making Jaebeom cough and choke on his food.

When they held hands and walked down to finally hit the onsen, it was late and not many people were in there. Which was probably a good thing considering the smoldering glances, the heated conversations, and the erections that they had to constantly try to hide. A visit to the onsen revealed a hot springs infinity pool. The infinity pool would be too revealing for what they had in mind even though, thank god, it was finally dark. They decided that their private room bath might be a better option.

They shared a grin and raced up to their room.

It was when they got there that the enormity of what they were about to do hit them.

And Jaebeom gulped as Mark strode predatorily towards him. "Mark…" he whispered hungry for his taste.

Their mouths grappled harder and faster with one another, hands gripping tightly on whatever part of the other's body they could find.

He pushed the older man away for a moment and walked back to the door. The quiet snip of the lock sounded loud in the suddenly still room.

He turned back. They were really going to do this…

 

* * * * *

 

Jaebeom looked so cute against the door, all nervous and wide-eyed. Mark eyed him, need driving him, want making him cautious. He didn't want to scare the man.

"Jaebeom…"

He was unprepared for the man to rush at him, lips crashing down on his, but he welcomed it. He tasted him as his tongue thrust its way in his waiting mouth, sliding against his, and he sighed with his own need being fanned hotter, more needier, his own desire growing as he felt the want from the younger.

Arms snaked around his waist, one hand pressed in the middle of his back, holding him tightly against the broader man, and he felt the hunger in Jaebeom, the driving need to make him supplicate as the man nibbled at his lips, sucked hungrily on his tongue and all of it - the whole of Jaebeom's actions -  made Mark want to push back with his own needs and desire.

He fought back with his own want, ground his hips against the other man, taking satisfaction in the groan that came deep from the other man's throat and reverberated deep inside their joined mouths. He gripped the broad shoulders tightly before sliding one hand up the back of the brunet's neck to grip tightly in his hair; the panting that resulted fanned the younger's breath against Mark's skin and made the blond groan with delight. He hooked one leg up to grip at the younger's hip and thrust his hips forward; the answering growl and the sudden grasp of his ass with tight fingers and hot palms shooting a sharp thrill of excitement and anticipation through his body.

He felt the sudden tilt of the world as Jaebeom bent down and picked him bodily up into his arms, fingers brushing against his taint making him keen into the other man's mouth as the broad-shouldered male walked them both to the bed. He felt the world tilt as Jaebeom leaned himself forward, and he felt the cool crisp feel of the sheets against his back as Jaebeom placed him on the bed, their mouths still fused together.

Their lips parted for a moment, their eyes staring at one another, breaths coming in hurried gasps.

Then it was Mark who was arching back as Jaebeom slid his mouth along his jaw, and down the column of his throat, his cry strangled as he moaned and pushed his hips up against the weight of the other man's body. It was the slide of the younger's hands pushing up his clothing to reveal his stomach, chest before a hoarse growl sounded and Mark felt tongue, teeth and lips attack his chest, his nipples, his abs and he could only cry out as the fever in him rose to dizzying heights. The feel of Jaebeom's tongue lathing his nipple to an erect peak, the warmth and wetness of his mouth latching on, the blowing of cool air upon the sensitised tip before latching on once more to tease his tongue on the nub… Mark arched back, babbling incoherent words from his mouth. Then it was a long, slow, path as Jaebeom repeated it with the other nipple, taking his time, before he trailed down, slow and sensual, tongue, lips, and mouth taking their time to lathe and learn every part of Mark's body and Mark could have wept with the agony of the tortuous journey.

"Mark…" the soft whisper against his skin sent vibrations through him and he shivered. Then he felt hands pushing up, lifting him up to pull clothing over his head and he was lain back against the sheets. The air softly brushed against his naked torso, a cool relief against the heat from his body.

The mouth that nibbled along the waistband of his pants, the fingers that nimbly opened the fastening and pulled at his zip, the hands that entreated him to lift his hips and allow his pants to be removed… Mark could only stare heatedly at the dark haired man as he attended to Mark's removal of clothing. Then it was a lick of the man's lips as he paused at the waistband of Mark's boxers, a brief question in his eyes to which Mark answered by planting his feet on the bed and lifting his hips high and the man slowly revealed Mark's aching and hard cock to his gaze.

"Fuck, Mark… you're beautiful… " Throwing Mark's underwear somewhere behind him, the man fell forward, pressing his lips firmly on his, hand gripping tightly at the back of Mark's head.

And Mark never felt more wanted as at that moment.

The brunet drew back...

"Jaebeom…"

Mark propped himself up on his elbows as the man drew back, his gaze hot and heated, holding Mark's eyes, never leaving them. He removed his clothing one piece at a time, slowly... deliberately… pausing to kiss Mark's lips, his jaw, the hollow beneath his ear, the base of his neck, the middle of his chest until he was as naked as Mark. All the while his gaze still coming back to meet Mark's - eyes dark and fierce with desire and a want.

Mark bit his lip hard as the younger came to kneel up on the bed; Mark staring at the broadness of the man before him. He knew Jaebeom was well built but nothing had prepared him for this sinewy body that had his mouth dry and a craving that grew so intense, his balls were tight and aching and he felt he could have cum just from a touch.

The broad-chested man ran an open hand from Mark's throat all the way down to his hip, gripping it tightly as Mark fell back on the bed, suddenly weak. "Jaebeom," he whispered.

The younger man was silent, his eyes caressing every inch of Mark's body. Then it was tongue lapping at his skin and Mark felt he was going to die but oh what a way to go… "Oh God, Jaebeom," Mark groaned. His hands fisted in the sheets. His hips drove up to meet the younger man's tongue. "Please Jaebeom, please" he panted. "Give me something, anything, _fuck_."

* * * * *

Jaebeom groaned against the older man's skin.

He _loved_ seeing Mark like this.

He loved _hearing_ Mark like this.

All aching and arching, lustful and raw; writhing beneath him. He loved making him cry out, marking him, making Jaebeom bite his lip in sheer want from wanting to possess and protect this man. A warm feeling of possessiveness flooded over him and he pressed his palm down against his hip, firmly holding the older man in place, wanting to hold him there forever. He rubbed his face against the sensitive skin of the older man's abs, feeling the muscles tightening underneath as he brushed his face, his nose, his lips against the skin there, gliding down and following the happy trail towards the man's cock.

He glanced up at the older, as he moved sideways towards his hips, hearing the older man moan and groan in complaint at this digression off the original perceived path. "Jaebeommie, please," he heard above him, and he tightened his fingers holding the older man's hips in response, pressing his thumbs into those two very sensitive spots in the crease of his hips. The answering jerk of his hips made Jaebeom bite his lip, blood rushing south towards his own cock which was now throbbing and aching. The "God, Jaebeom!" of the panting response made him touch the tip of his tongue to the top of the crease, before lightly suckling at the skin there. His ears picked up the whine drawn out from the older man, and he swept the same spot again, drawing circles with his tongue, breathing warm air over the dampened skin.

He groaned himself as he felt Mark's ready responses, the tight yet uncontrolled jerks of his thighs and hips, the unbidden and deep throated moans coming from his already wrecked throat, the barely held whines and the panting gasps coming from between those pink lips. Jaebeom dragged his nose down towards his groin, following the line of the crease before he flattened his tongue and deliberately traced the path back from his groin to his hip, trailing his tongue ever so slowly over the sensitive skin in the crease.

He could feel the older man shaking beneath his hands that firmly held the older in place, he could taste the saltiness of his skin and the smell of want. He sucked on the innermost sensitive portion of skin, feeling Mark jerk again beneath him, keening out in the quiet of the room. _Jaebeom._ _Jaebeom_. His name. It made him feel wanted, loved and he wanted to give this man more, giving him everything his heart desired. Because Mark was worth it. All of it.

* * * * *

Mark was barely holding it together. He could feel what the other man was doing to him. He could feel _everything_ the other man was doing to him - and it felt fucking phenomenal. He couldn't control his limbs any longer, his brain was so blissed out with the feels of everything; - Jaebeom's hands, his tongue, his nose, his lips - everything.

Mark could feel the glide of the younger man's smooth body sliding down his legs, nestling between them holding his hips down with those hands - those fucking hands he adored - and the pressing of those two deep spots that were his weakness. "Oh-h-h-h fuck," he felt his body roll up, hips rising, back arching off the bed. Jaebeom had found those already earlier and Mark knew back then that the younger would use them against him but... oh god it was bliss... it was good ... it was just -- oh holy fuck _yes_ . He swallowed and gasped for breath. His chest tight as he took in tortured shallow breaths, feeling Jaebeom licking up the crease from the inside of his groin to his hip. _Fuck that was - oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck - shit!_

"Jaebeommie!" Mark pushed his hips up, aching to find friction against his tortured cock. His arms are limp and non-functional near his head, the fingers clutching tightly at bedclothes. He could barely think, he could barely function - all he could do was feel; feel as Jaebeom slid his hand down underneath his balls, lifting them up one by one to suck them into his mouth holding them there - oh so gently - and then tonguing them so skillfully that Mark could only cry out.

Mark's body was on fire.

Everything was pinpointing to all the attachment points that Jaebeom had on his body; his thumbs teasing his taint; palms braced on the topmost of his inner thighs; fingers pressed on the area around the base of his cock; that talented fucking talented mouth on his balls; the one knee that Jaebeom had pressed up against his, calves locking against one another, ankles too.

A litany of pleas fell from Mark's mouth; he knew he couldn't contain them anymore. "Fuck Jaebeom put me in your mouth fuck please Beommie fuck shit please I'm oh god I fucking want oh shit shit shit I want you oh MY GOD!" The final words were yelled in the instant that Mark's brain lost coherent thought - Jaebeom had slid up to take his cock in his mouth _Oh fuckballs Batman_ … "Oh fuck. Shit. Oh my God! Jaebeom! Jaebeom! Jaebeom! No! Fuck! Yes!"

The stream of expletives that fell from his lover's lips emboldened Jaebeom. He stared up at his lover, watching at the same time he took the older deeper into his mouth, tracing his tongue around and over the head, lapping at the underneath before swallowing him past the back of his mouth and into his throat. The loud keening wail; the tortured bow of his body told Jaebeom Mark was close. Extremely close.

"Jaebeommie, _please_!" Mark was pleading. He needed a release; he needed to come. "Please please, Jaebeommie please please." His gasps were melding together, one endless stream of words.

* * * * *

Jaebeom hummed while throating Mark deep in his throat, holding the older man down with his hands, feeling the shaking body beneath his, thighs fluttering against his chest uncontrollably, hips pushing against his hands. He slid his mouth back - a little regretful for he liked the taste of Mark, but he knew that man was ready, that he needed to come now. He doubled his efforts on Mark's cock, swirling the head of his cock with his tongue, sliding his hand up to feel that skin beneath his balls, sliding back to finger the tight ring of muscle before sliding back to hold the base of his cock. He bobbed his head faster over Mark's cock, feeling the man bent in a perpetual bow, his hips arched up to meet Jaebeom's mouth and Jaebeom sucked him. Hard. "Oh fuck, Jaebeom!" before his hair was gripped hard, Mark's hips thrust a number of times hard before stopping, trembling, and with a hoarse shout, the older was coming down his throat, cock twitching as he came.

Then the younger let the slender man go; the brunet's own cock throbbing. Jaebeom gazed down upon the blond's still pulsating cock, slick with his saliva and the few pearls of cum that escaped his mouth. He leaned down to lick them clean from the man's slit and felt the other man jerk with sensitivity and a hiss.

He grabbed the lube from where they'd left it, poured a generous amount on his hand, before sliding his finger to rim gently around Mark, tracing it gently around the tight ring.

"Ahh… Jaebeom-ah," grunted the other man, back curving as he lifted his legs, giving Jaebeom more access. "Oh fuck…yes… please...my Jaebeom... "

"You're so beautiful, Mark." He meant it. Blissed out Mark was just so damned beautiful to Jaebeom's eyes. He couldn't wait to be inside this beauty of a man. "Fuck, I want to make you mine, Mark," he whispered hoarsely, his fingers pushing against the ring of muscle and sliding in slowly. He felt the muscle clenching around his digits and he felt the answering pulse in his dick.

He let out a small gasp and bit his lip as he watched Mark's mouth dropped wide open, eyes fluttering closed, the blond breathing out a deep sigh of pleasure, body shuddering with the intrusion as Jaebeom pushed his finger deeper still.

"God, so beautiful."

Jaebeom looked down at Mark cradling his knees wide, his lover wanting to give himself easier and more access to Mark's body. His heart clenched as he looked down at the trusting man. Need pulsed through him too, as he scissored Mark wider and his own breathing became rough and unsteady as he heard the need in Mark when he cried out with pleasure, his breath shuddering.

Oh holy fuck yes, he really did love seeing Mark like this.

Passion driving him, Jaebeom pressed his lips against the inner thigh of his beautiful man, felt the tremble of the muscles beneath his lips. _Fucking hell_ . He licked a strip along the inner thigh, felt the jerk of Mark's hips, and the clench around his fingers. He felt a keen sense of protectiveness, again of possessiveness too, and he wanted to push his fingers harder and faster into this beautiful, willing man, make him writhe beneath him, knowing that he and he alone was making this man lose all control. Controlling himself, he added another finger, patiently waiting for his man - waiting for the muscles to relax for him, listening for the breathing to ease, the body to soften, before pushing his fingers forward into the hot slickness of Mark's body and watched him arch back in pleasure. _Yes, so beautiful._ Jaebeom couldn't get over how stunningly beautiful Mark was like this.

He moved his hand back and forth, increasing the speed and force of his thrusts in slow increments, searching for that spot, and curling his fingers to hit it and was rewarded with a harsh cry and a tightening around his fingers as Mark shook with eagerness and greed.

"Shit, Mark, I could just about come just from watching you. You're so fucking amazing right now," Jaebeom's voice was hoarse, his throat dry as he gazed down on his lover writhing beneath his hands and mouth.

He felt a jolt as Mark looked straight at him, eyes heavy-lidded with desire. He slid his fingers out of the man's body, leant forward, crashing his lips hard on Mark's and moved to sit between his legs. Impatiently, he gazed down to see Mark's hole clenching empty air and the current that ran through his body at the sight was strong and fuelled him even more. He groaned as he tugged at himself, coating his cock with lube, slickly prepping himself. His eyes met Mark's and he held those eyes as he placed himself at Mark's entrance. The roughly whispered, "Jaebeom…" along with the feel of Mark's willing pliancy made something in his chest clench as he slid himself in, the ring of muscles widening to fit him before it contracted around him, pulling him into the waiting warmth of his lover.

His head spun as he fell forward, bracing himself over Mark's lean body that was bowed back, hips slowly pushing forward then stilling, waiting for the man beneath to accommodate his girth. When those eyes finally lifted and met his once again, the body relaxed yet taut with anticipation, Jaebeom drew a sharp breath as Mark nodded at him, before reaching to bite on Jaebeom's lip, letting his teeth graze the sensitive inner lip. He groaned loudly.

 _Oh for fuck's sake, Mark would be the death of him._ Biting was such a turn on for Jaebeom. Fuck yes. He rocked his hips, checking to see if Mark was ready for him and watched as the man's face grew flushed and heated and his lips parted to gasp for air. He _looked_ stunning, starting to unravel and come undone. Jaebeom couldn't help but push forward, snapping his hips and felt the shock and shudder through Mark's body as he easily fitted around him. Jaebeom breathed in as he pulled back, until he felt the head of his cock against the rim before thrusting forward again. And again. And again.

"Jaebeommie…" Mark groaned. "More…please… "

And then he is engulfed; sliding into a depth of warmth, of pleasure; Mark's body wrapping tightly, gliding down his shaft; the smooth gradual movements, sliding, shafting, smoothing; and Jaebeom felt himself keen into the silence, desperately seeking more friction from his man.

 _Mark,_ he called silently, lips parting on a gasp as his hips rocked back and forth, creating a driving rhythm that had both of them breathing hard and crying out incoherent words into the night air.

Mark's body taking him in, the sounds of Mark moaning and keening as he snapped his hips, rocking into his lover's body, the scent of Mark all around him, the feel of Mark's hands clutching at his shoulders, his hair, nails raking across his chest, his back, down his arms as his cock hit the spot that made the other man lose all control.

Trembling at the assault on his senses, he could feel Mark's body sucking him in with abandon. The tongue that met with his, sliding and gliding together between their mouths, and the resulting familiar tightening in his balls.

All of it bade Jaebeom to thrust eagerly further and further into Mark's pliant body ramming harder and harder until his hips met skin.

Fuck. It had been so long since he had felt this much excitement, this much want, this much desire for another person… It felt so delicious, so delightful, so fucking good after not having been able to do it for so long. He wanted more than this. He wanted all of Mark.

He heard the rumbling growl from deep within the other man's throat, feeling the tension in the body as he thrust harder, bottoming out, his hips slapping against the other's ass, the bunching muscles as the slender man clutched at him, and with a cry and a barely coherent "Jaebeom..." Mark climaxed, the hot white pearls of cum roping up between them to land on his stomach.

With a growl, Jaebeom snapped his hips faster and harder, bottoming out in the other man, riding the other until he felt the familiar tightening in his balls, felt the combination of the ache, the pulsing of his blood in his ears, the pounding of his heart and with a hoarse cry, he pushed hard into the other man, gripping tightly onto his hips, crying out his release with final jerk of his hips and a shudder running through his body.

They both lay still, hearts beating wildly, for a moment before Jaebeom wrenched himself off the other man. He grabbed his lover's hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed the trembling hand before he pulled himself up and to the bathroom. He came back to the bed with a warm damp towel to wipe Mark clean. The tired man smiled up at him. "Jaebeommie…" he whined softly, making grabby hand motions. Jaebeom threw the towel towards the bathroom, before climbing back onto the bed and wrapping his arms around his lover.

* * * * *

Mark glanced over at the clock. "It's tomorrow already…. When is your flight?" He twined and entwined their fingers.

He felt Jaebeom tucked his head under his chin and kiss the top of his head. "Not until mid-morning the following day. I didn't want to try and navigate the morning rush."

Mark's heart was tight. He wanted more than one more day. This was possibly a bad idea in terms of his heart, but that had been so worth it.

He kept his voice calm as he said, "We have another day then."

"We do indeed."

Their fingers twined together and stayed together as they lay there, each lost in their own thoughts until they fell asleep. Mark's dreams were full of a dark-haired, smiling man, complete with the bucket hat and a camera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you all still alive??? Just check in and let me know...


	16. Top and Tail Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Mark and Jaebeom decide that the smut will continue and they are truly enjoying the holiday fling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually only part of what I have actually written and intended for an update. But there was too much so I split it. A lot. Because I feared for my readers' brains that there might be too much smut in one chapter. 
> 
> Oh, this... it's smut. ALLLLLL smut. With some plot somewhere in there. Barely any. There might be a smidgen someplace and for that, I might be sorry. You might need to dig deep to find it.

 

* * *

It was the light touches and the fingers that teasingly touched his skin that woke him and brought his mind from the depths of sleep to the warmth of their bedroom. Mark could feel Jaebeom next to him, his arms and hips moving, constant small puffs of breath floating against his skin as the younger tried to not disturb him. The barely there touches against his skin as fingers brushed inadvertently against him made him think about what Jaebeom might be doing. But it was the barely whispered groan of "Mark please…" that made his eyes snap open and his cock grew half hard.

Still sleepy, he turned his head, but he was not prepared for the sight of his boy lying on his side facing Mark with that dark head thrown back, hand fisted around his cock, rocking his hips to slowly fuck his hand. Mark sucked in a breath, as desire unfurled in the pit of his stomach. His eyes slowly travelled down Jaebeom's body, from the arch of his neck, to the heaving of his muscled chest, over the clenching of abs, the rocking hips and the muscular forearm as it gripped his hard and thick cock.

He rolled forward, intending to place a hand over the brunet's to help stroke that cock, instead sliding a hand through the curls to wrap around the base of his member.

The man's eyes flew open and he lifted his head to meet Mark's gaze in surprise. Raising a brow in greeting at the other man, Mark grinned lazily, and propped himself up on an elbow, hand supporting his head. Mark held his gaze as he moved his hand to curl fingers around the man's balls and watched as Jaebeom's eyes fluttered shut and his hips stuttered up, his hand moving once again.

God, he looked good - part of Mark ached to be inside this man. He loved being taken like Jaebeom had taken him earlier, but fuck, he really wanted to feel this man fall apart around his cock. Mark liked topping - a lot. He preferred being the pitcher to the catcher, but occasionally, he liked bottoming - to feel that fullness within and there was a little bit of submissive element in bottoming too that Mark liked. But he knew that was _him_ as a bottom. He'd met far too many power bottoms to ever consider a bottom being the weaker or more submissive one.

At first, when they'd met, Mark would have picked him for a top, then later after the ramen store a bottom, but over the days they'd spent together he gave as good as he got so Mark hadn't been surprised by Jaebeom's want to top earlier that night. He had really wanted to top Jaebeom, to slide his cock deep inside him and rock him to orgasm, but it had seemed earlier that Jaebeom was a top, and Mark had been more than willing to bottom.

 _Couldn't hurt to at least ask, right?..._ Pushing Jaebeom onto his back, Mark shuffled down the bed, and moved to lay between the man's legs, gazing heavy-lidded at the man's hand still constantly moving over the brunet's cock, the hard length thick and red, the head full, pink, and pulsing. He licked his lips. Maybe he'd suck that instead. He wouldn't mind blowing off the man. But still… the want to enter this man got the better of him. They hadn't talked about their preferences and Mark wanted to know… Curiosity getting the better of him, Mark slid his hand down the man's taint to the puckered hole, wondering if the man would allow him to, at the very least, rim him.

Mark felt his own hard length bumping against his abs, heavy and hard and vying for some attention. His fingers still exploring he found the entrance slick  - lube must have flowed down over the hole - and it felt deliciously slick to his sensitive fingers. God, he wanted to slide his dick inside and feel it tighten around him.

The man's hips paused in their movement, but Mark continued to finger the rim, using the lube that was there. Jaebeom's hand had stopped, but still holding his beautifully hard cock up, pre-come leaking out, and Mark couldn't resist; he leaned his head forward and licked the slit, sliding his tongue in and making little lapping motions with the tip of his tongue and heard the raspy throaty groan from above.

"Have you bottomed, Jaebeom?" Mark asked as he pulled back and looked up at the dark haired man, his fingers still playing with the man's entrance. Jaebeom was definitely an enigma.

The man's dark eyes gazed back at him. "I usually bottomed for Jinyoung."

Mark felt the drop in his stomach before a rush of excitement grew in his stomach and circled there, creating flutters of anticipation.

_Was he shitting him? Fuck._

Jaebeom usually bottomed - this knowledge blew Mark's head, figuratively. His cock grew harder - if that was even possible. He took a deep, calming breath.

"So you didn't top normally?"

There was a hesitancy before Jaebeom answered. "I… I like both, but Jinyoung… he didn't like bottoming."

Oh my god. Jaebeom liked pitching and catching, but his ex-lover preferred pitching. Mark screamed in sheer ecstasy his head. It wasn't often Mark met a versatile. Often it was a definite top or a definite botton. Mark too liked both. To find one who could do both, excited Mark immensely. But having it in front of him like this… Mark sucked in a breath and let it out slowly, trying to not get ahead of himself.

"Wo-would… you… ?" Mark couldn't make his brain function. "Shit. I mean, can I, would you mind if I topped you…?"

The explosion from Jaebeom was immediate. "Fuck yes. You can top me Mark."

The man he wanted liked topping, _and_ he liked bottoming. This man - for whom Mark had been prepared to bottom for was into both. And he just said Mark could top him. _Really?Oh my god! Fuck. Sing hallelujah._

_Breathe._

Mark kept telling himself to calm and breathe and not freak out the other man in his excitement and anticipation. He trained his eyes on Jaebeom as he resumed the exploration of the man's ass. Letting his fingers do the talking, Mark gently fingered around the younger man's rim, feeling it pucker tightly before relaxing beneath the pads of his fingers. He noticed a clenching and unfurling of the puckered hole as his finger stroked the ring.

He knelt up for a moment, looking for the rest of the lube. Jaebeom quietly handed it to him, his tongue coming out to lick at his lips nervously. Mark smiled and leaned forward to chase the tongue back into the other's mouth. They exchanged kisses, delving into one another's mouths, dipping in, licking and nipping at one another's lips before Mark pulled back to sit between Jaebeom's open legs.

He poured lube onto his fingers, feeling the other man watching him carefully. Leaning forward, he gently pressed against the rim with his fingers before he met that gaze. He pushed one of his digits in, sliding to the first knuckle, watching carefully as the younger's lips parted involuntarily to allow a faint gasp to escape. His own dick twitched at the responsiveness of the other man. The sounds he made were enticing.

He pushed further, his eyes assessing every movement the lean man beneath him made; the slightly laboured breathing, the slight arch of his back and neck, the clenching of the muscles around his finger, the fingers tightening around the still hard cock. He let the younger man adjust around him at each joint, to allow his body accommodate the intrusion before he pushed further until he was all the way in. He was surprised when the younger planted his feet on the bed and rocked his hips, accompanying the movement with a series of moans.

"Mark…?" His name was moaned out between gasps of breath. Mark's cock twitched at the sound. He swallowed hard.

"Jaebeom?" he replied, his voice husky.

"More…? Please?" The faint slightly-shy question moved Mark, causing a clenching feeling in the pit of his stomach. He moved his hand to slide back and felt the man's hips rise up as the drag was felt within him.

His own cock twitched again in response. He could feel the excitement building within himself, his balls tight and aching, wanting to be touched.

Mark wanted to prep the other man more but Jaebeom looked at him like he was something good to eat, and Mark couldn't think when Jaebeom looked at him like that.

The older man laughed softly at the hungry look in the other's eyes. "Calm the farm, Beommie. I need to prep you properly. I don't want to hurt you."

A strained look crossed the younger man's face as he worried at his lip. Mark paused, waiting. Finally, the younger spoke.

"Mark?"

"Yes?"

"I… fingered myself earlier… while you were sleeping," Jaebeom admitted, a dark flush coming up his face. "I was needy and wanted to feel something, anything, inside me…"

Mark's eyes flew to hold the brunet's shy gaze at the sudden declaration. He bit his own lip as his cock grew harder still. _Fuck_. The thought that Jaebeom had already prepped himself, that he'd rocked on his own fingers made Mark insanely hard and sent desire rocketing through him. He suddenly realised that the lube that was at his hole was because Jaebeom had already had his little fingers sliding deep within himself.

"You little fucker, baby boy. You didn't wait for me," he croaked out, his voice suddenly hoarse as his throat went tight at the image in his head. The pet name fell unbidden and easily, and unnoticed.

Mark leaned forward, desire coating his words, making his voice even huskier. He teased the brunet's open mouth with the tip of his tongue, sliding it along the bottom lip before nibbling at the corner of his mouth, tracing along the soft under portion of his top lip before delving deep into the warm cavern of his mouth. He received the man's sigh as he placed his mouth softly yet firmly over the other, sliding his tongue along the other's, feeling the glide and stroke of warm wetness and silky smoothness.

"Fuck," Mark said against his lips, in between kisses and sucking his tongue, "I want to fuck you so hard right now. You have no fucking idea."

Mark felt the man's hands come up to slide along his sides, caress his hips before sliding down to palm his dick. The hot warmth from the palms made Mark rock his hips in response. His head fell forward, touching his forehead to Jaebeom's as panting gasps left his mouth. "Oh, fuck..." he breathed.

Jaebeom pleaded against his lips, raining gentle kisses upon his lips. "Let me touch you, please? Let me slide my mouth over your cock? Or my hand at least?" Mark moaned as Jaebeom's fingers moved to grip him tightly, and began to slide over his length, sliding first up, then adjusting the hold before sliding down to the base. The blond stilled his hips, the cheeks of his ass tight as he just allowed himself to feel the younger man's hands minister to his cock.

"Mark?" panted Jaebeom, "Fuck me? I want you to fuck me. Fill me with your cock. Please?"

Mark's breath stuttered to a stop before he took a deep breath. "Fuck, Jaebeom, baby…"

"Mark. _Please_." Jaebeom whispered, urgency in his lips, desperation in his tongue. Mark  - his tongue battling with the other, fighting for dominance and winning as the younger's mouth went pliant and soft under his - nodded fervently before pecking lightly at the younger man's lips in confirmation.

The younger's eyes lit up and he felt around for the lube before pouring a generous amount on his hand and palming Mark's cock again, slicking it up for the elder.

Mark's eyes almost rolled back in his head as Jaebeom's hands stroked up and down a many number of times, skimming over his balls, curving around his base, fingering tightly around his head.

Abruptly, Mark grabbed the other's wrist. "Stop, baby. I'm going to cum if you keep that up." He planted a kiss in appeasement against the pouting man's mouth before moving away and kneeling down between his knees.

He was torn between slow fucking, looking at Jaebeom's face, wanting to watch all the expressions cross his face, and also wanting to turn him over to fill him up, to slide home into him, gripping those hips. Mark opted to keep him on his back for the time being while he gently pushed two of his fingers back in to test the limits of the younger man's sphincter and muscles. His lungs felt tight as he felt the inside walls against his fingers; Jaebeom hadn't been lying about fucking his own hand for the muscles gave easily beneath Mark's fingers. He took another deep breath as anticipation and excitement grew and electric currents pulsed through his blood.

His voice was low, husky even as he asked the younger, "Did you touch yourself?"

The dark-eyed man stared at him before slowly nodding while also thrusting his hips to meet Mark's fingers. Mark drew in a sharp breath at the nod of affirmation. His mind exploded with imagery of Jaebeom pushing his fingers inside his ass and rocking himself onto them.

"I bet you rocked yourself on your fingers as you edged yourself closer. Didn't you, baby boy?"

Jaebeom moaned at Mark's words, his eyes growing darker with want.

Mark moved his fingers a little faster, watching as the boy gasped and rocked against them. "Did you push one or two fingers inside you?" he demanded.

"T-t-three… three of them, ah, god, three of my fingers…" stuttered Jaebeom, body already shifting and rocking against Mark's hand.

 _Oh holy fuck._ He paused, catching his own breath at that reveal, pulling his hand back a little in order to add an additional finger, and when he pushed forward with all three, a groan of satisfaction rose from the dark-haired man and a moan from him. _Jesus Christ, this boy is going to be the death of him before he even gets inside him._ Experimentally, Mark moved his hand, building up speed in slow increments, testing Jaebeom's limits and finding none. He bit his tongue as his adrenaline shot up. His want to fuck just rose even higher. His eyes fixed on the brunet's face, on those parted pink lips gasping for air, watching Jaebeom come undone beneath his hand. He stroked the inner thigh with his other hand, watching as the legs fell open under his touch, sliding up to cup his balls with one hand at the same time as the digits of his other stroked in and out of the man's slick hole, scissoring and stretching as they went. "Fuck, you're gorgeous. So fucking gorgeous," he said, half moaning.

The other man looked at him briefly with a small smile before allowing his head to fall back, but Mark knew Jaebeom heard softness in his voice, and saw the wonder in his eyes. He shuffled forward, sliding his fingers out to touch his own aching cock against the edges of the younger man's puckered rim against his head, and he wanted to thrust himself inside the warmth he could feel. Instead, he slid his fingers back in, curled them as he searched feeling for the spot within the athletically built man that would make said man crazed and panting, and when Mark found it, he watched his man throw his head right back, and his body arcing off the bed, chest heaving, the cries dying in his throat while Mark pressed and stroked that sweet spot.

He stroked it firmly over and over again watching the boy shake and tremble before Mark leaned down to cover the boy's cock with his mouth and took that thick hard cock all the way down to the base. An anguished cry left his boy's mouth. It made Mark's toes curl when he heard it; the sound of it thrilling him, knowing that he made it happen.

He...He made it happen...He made Im Jaebeom make that sound...because of him...because of what he was doing to him. The knowledge of that made his head spin, his balls pulse and his cock twitch.

Jaebeom's hips jerked beneath the forearm, hand, and mouth Mark had on the boy. He braced and pushed the younger back on the bed. He focused on Jaebeom. Mark had work to do after all. He was making fucking history here. He chuckled silently at his own joke.

He slid his mouth up, still covering his cock; sucking lightly on the shaft, sliding his mouth back down before looking up at the man moaning at the head of the bed. He heard and felt the deep groan from the bruent, felt the trembling of his hips as Mark slid down the man's cock until he reached the base and his nose was pushed into the curls -  Jaebeom was all warm and musky, a scent that seemed to make him more aroused and excited. _Shit, was that even possible?_ He was already so turned on. The elder slid his mouth up again, pausing for a moment with his lips around the head, swirling his tongue effortlessly before taking the man deep, sliding down, all the while pushing his tongue against the underside of the shaft.

He moved his fingers, still buried deep inside him, against that bundle of nerves, pushing up against the prostate while he relaxed his gag reflex. He let the head push past into his throat, felt the head in his throat, tasted the man in his mouth - the thick shaft was heavy and pulsing on his tongue. He hummed, listening to the man's strangled curses above his head and feeling the hands gripping tightly in his hair.

He pulsed his tongue against the underside of the cock before he reluctantly slid back up, letting his tongue circle around the head regretfully. He allowed his lips to suck on the head a final time - making the brunet buck his hips up again, cursing him to hell and back again.

"Mark!" The desperate cry from a beautiful man. "Don't stop! Fuck!" When Mark didn't go back to sucking him off Jaebeom cursed a blue streak. "Fuck you to everlasting hell. Fuck you and that beautiful fucking face. You're a fucking _tease_."

"Tut - tut, Jaebeom. Such cruel words when I'm doing nice things to you." Mark moved up to pull at _his baby boy_ with a smirk. "Come - turn over for me, baby," he said, growling a little in his throat as he grabbed at his hands. Jaebeom's eyes blinked for a moment, lust blowing his eyeballs dark before he quickly scrambled to his hands and knees, leant forward to brace himself on his forearms, hands placed at his ass, pulling his cheeks open for Mark's eyes.

Mark took a surprised deep breath as Jaebeom presented for him. He hadn't expected this.

He slid his hand to the small of the man's back to ground himself. _Fuck he was beautiful_. He found his own hands trembling. "Baby, fuck, Jaebeom-ah, you are so beautiful." He could feel the tremors from the man's body shaking beneath his palm. "Are you okay?" he asked, concern lacing his tone.

A muffled affirmation.

Mark shook his head. That wouldn't do. "Baby, I need to hear your words. I need to know you are okay. For me and for you."

Jaebeom lifted his head for a moment, his eyes seeking Mark's. "Yes. … Please, Mark, please take me. Please fill me up with your cock." His dark eyes looked at Mark pleadingly. "Fuck me deep… fuck me...hard. Fuck me until I see stars. Fuck me until I am filled with nothing else but you. _Please,_ Mark. Do it - for me."

Mark expelled his breath with a choke. "Fuck baby. Fuck." He couldn't think. Jaebeom's words made him want to slide on in there and ram him until he was home, but he wasn't going to do that. He had promised himself that he would make this trip memorable in the best ways. For Jaebeom. And maybe also a little selfishly - for himself. And Jaebeom just asked him to fuck him in the best way possible.

He stroked his hand down the muscular man's back, letting himself just _feel_ … feel the feeling of Jaebeom's hot body arching against his firm touch. He stroked his hand over the mound of the younger's firm ass, sliding palm-down the back of his thigh, the back of his hand up the inner thighs to stroke the length of his fingers against those balls that tightened appealingly under his hand before pressing his fingers to the ring of muscles that was slightly open, puckering and releasing, waiting for him. He slid two of his fingers home, letting the residue of lube aid his digits in.

They slid in so easily. Mark could feel his head spinning and his balls clenching - he wanted his cock in that heat. "Fuck," he said lowly, "I want nothing more than to be inside you." He slid his fingers out slowly, slicked his cock some more before lining himself up. His cock was so ready and the picture Jaebeom presented before him, his ass in the air, his hands holding his cheeks open, that hole clenching on empty air - all of it waiting for him - it excited him so much. Mark shook his head clear and took a cleansing breath. "Shit, Jaebeom... baby… fuck baby boy... I'm going to fuck you. Are you ready for me?"

He waited until Jaebeom nodded and placed his head back on the pillow and arched, opening his legs wider for Mark. Mark pushed the head of his cock in, feeling the ring of muscle give beneath his entry and then it slid around him, pulling him in. _Fuck baby._ His head spun with the feeling of warmth and tightness around his cock.

He couldn't breath for a moment, the feeling was so intense. He was inside Jaebeom. He was in him. _Shit fuck._  He could feel Jaebeom rocking back and heard him whining and he bade him to stop with a hand on the small of his back, "Wait a moment, baby boy. Wait for me. I need a moment. Fuuuuck. You feel so damn good… so damn good. Fuck, Jaebeommie, so fucking good. Shit."

He could hear the words pouring from his mouth as he knelt behind his boy, waiting for the intense feelings to subside so that he wouldn't just thrust selfishly into the beautiful man and cum without him. Mark leaned forward, curving over the younger's back gently pressing his chest against that silky skin, touching every part of of the younger he could reach, caressing him, stroking him, touching his nipples, teasing them, flicking them, feeling the man moaning in pleasure beneath his palms, and he kissed every part he could reach until the brunet was begging him to, "Move, Mark, please. Fuck me hard, please please please."

He kissed the middle of his back one last time softly before he leaned forward to grab at the hollow between his neck and shoulder with the palm of his hand.

"Jaebeommie…" he breathed; the only warning he gave the man beneath him before he pulled his hips back within the brunet, and snapped sharply with his hips, thrusting forward all the way in, holding it there for a moment as Jaebeom's back arched in pleasure, and he was engulfed fully in that hot slick heat.

"Guhhh… oh fuck Mark… Yes! Faaa….more!!! More!" Jaebeom was gasping and Mark felt compelled to follow his demands. It was pulling back and thrusting forward, pulling back until the head of his cock was caught by his rim, thrusting forward until his hips slapped against the man's skin, again and again; feeling his hips slamming hard against Jaebeom's pretty little ass, hearing the slap of skin on skin, fucking the beautiful dark haired beauty harder and faster than he'd ridden anyone before, and feeling himself bottoming out, time and again.

His heart hammered in his chest, his breath came in sharp gasps, his lungs were on fire, and guttural groans left his own lips in time with the younger's moans. He grabbed hold of the younger man's shoulders, hoisting him up, hands clasping the front of his shoulders, pulling the brunet's arms back…

The change of angle meant he hit that spot, that bundle of nerves, and Mark felt the man beneath him arch back with a stiff cry, head arced back over his shoulder as Mark hit that sweet spot… Mark was fucking up into the pliant man and hitting that spot over and over as best he could until the man beneath him was taut as a bow, crying out with insensible, incoherent words, clutching back at Mark's hips and thighs… Jaebeom's cock - hard and heavy - bounced and hit the sinewy body again and again with a force that had the man crying for Mark to let him cum.

Mark adjusted the man he held and pushed up, finding the spot and hitting it until the man was trembling and shaking in his arms.

As Mark felt himself hurtling toward his own orgasm, he changed his grasp, snaking an arm across the other man's chest, pulling him up into the curve of his own chest, reaching around and grabbing the boy's length and tugging it as best he could to the timing of his slamming into his ass.

"Oh oh oh… _Mark…_ my cock… oh fuck yes _!_ "

"Cum then baby boy," Mark growled, his voice deep at Jaebeom's ear. "I want you to cum all over my hand while I cum inside you. Do you hear me? Do it for me. Cum for me," and he felt Jaebeom shuddering against him, ropes of cum shooting up and forward and over his hand as Mark continuously tugged at the man's cock. Excitement flooded him as he felt the boy cum around him and with a cry, Mark released the younger's cock, grabbed the boy's hips, pushed him to bend forward and pounded even harder into him, his rhythm becoming erratic and uncontrolled as he pushed forward to his own climax, cumming hard with a growl and a grunt and a series of thrusts coupled with "Fuck--Jae--fuck--ing--beom!" and a final thrust into _his_ boy. "Mine," he growled as he bit down in the the boy's shoulder. His head swam, his ears rang, and his heart threatened to pound out of his chest as he painted the inside walls of his lover's ass white with ropes of cum.

When he managed to clear his head enough, shaking with effort, he laid them down on the bed on their sides, his cock still inside, their bodies still joined at the boy's ass. He kissed the brunet's shoulder, his neck, feeling the man's heart pounding against his arm.

"Shit, Mark. _Fuck_." Jaebeom's voice was shaking, and Mark lifted his head wearily to check on him. It pleased him to see Jaebeom's face was filled with happiness as he turned to look at Mark, and his lips reaching for Mark's. The older pressed a gentle kiss onto the ruby red and swollen lips before he pulled himself out, feeling the ache of loss already. He pecked the boy's cheek as he climbed out of the bed, and walked with shaky legs to the bathroom, cleaning himself while in there before returning with a warm, wet towel for his boy.

Mark cleansed the athletic body clean, quietly appreciating the muscular body before pulling the blankets up to cover the boy and took the towel back to the bathroom, pausing to pick up the one Jaebeom had thrown earlier onto the floor. By the time he came back, the boy was asleep.

He paused, gazing down at that beautiful face, relaxed in repose. He felt his heart tighten with unnamed emotion and he reached forward and caressed the man's cheek with the back of his hand. Jaebeom stirred, snuggling instinctively towards the blond man's hand and something stirred in the pit of Mark's stomach at the small action. He paused - was this bad? Growing hope when in all likelihood this was going to end within the next twenty-eight to thirty hours?

He couldn't believe it when Jaebeom admitted to being a versatile.

Mark knew that it could mean that Jaebeom would bottom if the other refused, but he hoped that it meant more than that; that Jaebeom actually did enjoy being both top and bottom - just like Mark did.

His first boyfriend had been a bottom, as had been his second. A few hook ups between the second and Taecyeon taught Mark that not everyone likes penetration and that bottoming was actually fun too. Taecyeon had been a top so Mark had bottomed for him. The few with whom penetration hadn't even been an option - Mark had learnt how to give and receive blowjobs. Mark was definitely a penetration kind of man though. He loved the feeling of sliding inside a hot ready body. And he enjoyed the feel of having someone sliding into him and making him feel so good. He shivered at his thoughts.

Knowing this boy - _his_ boy - could switch with him made Mark very happy. He tenderly pushed back the hair off his lover's face. They were so compatible, it wasn't even funny.

Slowly, he drew back and with a happy gaze, Mark climbed back into bed, drawing the covers over himself and tried to fall asleep without disturbing the other man, just watching him sleep. When sleep finally came for Mark, the light of false dawn was on the horizon and the blond's head was filled with hopeful dreams and his arms were full of one dark-haired Korean boy, curled tightly around him, as they both slept deeply and untroubled.  


* * * * *

It was morning and the pale morning light shone in through the glass. The men both stirred, Jaebeom being the first to really awaken. He stretched languorously, feeling the kinks and aches in his body, smirking as he yawned, knowing he got them honestly. His body ached, gloriously so, and he grinned in memory of the middle of the night sex with Mark. Good Lord, that boy could fuck! He still could feel the lingering feeling of having Mark inside of him, of having his hands caressing his body and the way that boy could kiss… Jaebeom silently mouthed ' _wow'_ in recollection. He turned his head, watching the man sleep.

That man was so damn pretty. But he would never have guessed that he'd make such a fuck-awesome top. He was so glad he found out that Mark would top him. As much as Jaebeom liked the idea of topping, he'd only really done it a few times with Jinyoung because that ex-man of his really didn't like it.

And as much as he'd liked experiencing topping with Mark, Jaebeom thought after last night maybe he liked being bottom a lot. With Mark.

He thought back about his initial thoughts on relationships when he'd first realised he was gay, heck, when he'd first found out about the birds and the bees. He'd had definite ideas about what relationships were all about; a little give, a little take, but being equal overall. He had thought about what he'd like, what he had fantasised about, what he would like to experiment with. And when he'd found out he was gay - he'd shoved a lot of that into that imaginary closet labelled gaydom, thinking it had been closed off to him. And even when he had come out of the closet, a lot of that thinking, that dreaming, that fantasising had stayed in the closet. Until Mark. Until Japan. Until the end of he and Jinyoungie.

Jinyoung hadn't done that any of that with him. Jinyoung had already known he himself was gay; he'd already experienced gay relationships and sex and what he liked and disliked without Jaebeom and when they had come together, Jinyoung was already set in what he wanted and he didn't really deviate from that - which Jaebeom was okay with because he loved Jinyoung. But there were times he had really wanted to try new things and Jinyoung had shut him down by straddling him or making Jaebeom so excited at having 'forbidden' sex that he'd forget about how he'd been talking to Jinyoung about trying new things. And when they'd been a couple, it was just understood that this was how couples were and acted.

Mark changed him. Mark changed that. Mark had been this constant burr in his side that challenged him, made him feel uncomfortable, made him feel happy, made him feel things that ended in wanking to images of Mark topping him, he topping Mark, of Mark pressing up against him in the shower, Mark going down on him, of him making the other man cry out his name while he fucked him from behind while on his couch in his apartment… Mark made him feel - end of. Mark made him think that there were other options that were less… vanilla.

And that is why he felt the irrepressible need to top in their first moment, to make Mark happy, to make some of what he'd been thinking come true.

Perhaps it had been selfish, but his desire to do what _he_ wanted for a change… that desire had been strong.

However, as much as Jaebeom liked being able to top him, he was insanely beyond happy to know that Mark could top too. He wasn't sure if he was ready to be in a relationship where he was the top all the time. Maybe he could do it? Jinyoung being basically his only experience made it hard for Jaebeom to work out if he'd be happy or not in that situation. But with Mark, Jaebeom realised he didn't have to think about that.

And that the blond would happily, very happily, top Jaebeom, and that made Jaebeom insanely fluffy inside. He could feel how happy it made him, and he could feel the smile on his face that threatened to split his face apart.

He blinked away the sudden tears that pricked his eyes at how happy he felt.

He rolled over onto his stomach, pillow bunched up beneath his chest and shoulders to rest his chin on as he turned to look at the still sleeping man, the blond hair tousled; the slim high cheekbones, slightly pink with sleep; the lashes that fanned out on cheeks flushed with sleep, the pink lips mouth slightly parted, breathing deeply.

So beautiful. So _dangerous_ \- he could fall in love with that. He was damn cute. Jaebeom could happily look at this man all soft and warm, and all that fluffy-guff, all morning.

Mark's voice made his heart stop. "Stop staring at me. It's creepy."

Jaebeom must have made that small squealing noise he heard. _Whoops_ . The other man started to stir, eyes fluttering and limbs unfurling. Mark burrowed under the covers for a moment, before… "Good morning," came with a husky voice. _God, he was sexy in the morning._ Jaebeom smiled even wider, looking at the eyes peeking out from beneath the covers.

"Well, good morning to you too." He turned to his side to gaze at Mark, hand supporting his head. He grabbed the covers firmly around his waist - no point in letting Mark know he was sporting a hard-on for him right now.

"How did you sleep?" yawned Mark, stretching out, eyes crinkling as he smiled at him. Jaebeom's heart swelled. He could do this every morning if he woke to that look.

"Well enough," he replied. "There was this man who disturbed my sleep though. Fucked up my night." He grinned at Mark's laugh. "What about you?"

"I slept great. I had a great bout of exercise and a large teddy bear that made me sleep well." They both cracked wide smiles. "Jaebeommie? Um…Last night?" Mark said, his voice suddenly shy. "That was just fan-fucking-phenomenal." Mark ducked his head under the covers bashfully and Jaebeom could hear him chuckling, his laugh muffled somewhat by the blanket.

Jaebeom's heart felt like it had been seized by an invisible hand… Mark sounded _so_ damn cute. Jaebeom was almost squeeing at how cute and tiny his man was this morning. _Woah_ . His man? _His_ man? _Shit_ . _Okay…_ His eyes wide, he searched his mind for anything to bring up to distract from the moment of epiphany that his brain wanted him to explore. Morning… breakfast… breakfast! Ruthlessly he pushed down the feels he wasn't prepared to explore right at that moment. "Um, so breakfast?" His voice squeaked in nervousness. He cleared his throat, hoping Mark hadn't noticed.

Mark pushed the covers down at the mention of food and gave another big yawn, "Yeah, we should get some - what time is it?"

Jaebeom checked the clock. It looked like they still had plenty of time to get to breakfast. They could shower and get cleaned up... Jaebeom suddenly had a different sort of breakfast in mind. "We have time… wanna have a shower together?"

He waggled his brows.

At. _His_. Man.

_Shut up brain._

_He's pretty._

_Yeah, he is._

_Ours._

…

The blond laughed, his teeth showing. Jaebeom stared. The longer canine teeth made Mark look like a sinfully delectable vampire. Fuck. Bite me. "Don't do that. You look positively predatory."

"All the better to eat you with…" Mark smirked.

Jaebeom took a tight breath with all the images that came to mind at Mark's words. "So that's a yes for the shower?"

Mark didn't answer but instead flipped the covers back, revealing himself in all his glory in the pale morning light. Jaebeom's heart stuttered as he took in the lanky figure of the pale man as he shuffled off the bed. Jaebeom was just going to ignore what his heart was doing with its little pitter patter against his ribs and just worry about what his dick was saying as Mark got up naked, morning wood and all, and walked unhurriedly toward the bathroom.

_What a fine, fine ass that man has. A fine ass, indeed._

He looked down; his cock was hard and already leaking pre-come. Oh well, no point in fighting it huh? His grin wide, Jaebeom pushed off the bed after hearing the shower start and knowing his lover was in there. He grabbed the lube after some thought. Who needs breakfast? He was going for Round Three. Maybe Mark even had a Round Four in him - after all, they had yet to try the outside hot springs bath before they had to check out...

He found Mark standing there with his hand under the water, testing the temperature. He leaned in and placed the lube next to the shampoo and body wash. Mark gave him a sardonic look and Jaebeom winked back at him. Mark turned with a sly smile, grabbing the face cloths from the shelf by the sink. Jaebeom walked up behind him, sliding his hands around his waist, to slide one hand onto that hard waiting cock, the other down to hold those  balls tightening at his touch.

"Jaebeommie…" Mark gasped, his surprised eyes lifting to meet Jaebeom's through the mirror. Jaebeom could see a full frontal naked Mark, hands braced on the counter, a beautifully big hard-on that was being gripped by yours truly and the hand that disappeared between his legs. _Fuck that was hot_. Jaebeom eyed Mark in the mirror appreciatively before leaning down to bite the smaller man's shoulder as he tugged at the blond's cock. Idly, he noted that the curtains did not match the drapes as his hand disappeared into dark curls, rather than blond like his hair on his head. Jaebeom found that he actually liked that. It excited him more and he stroked firmer and faster. He watched avidly as the man jerked within his arms, abs clenching tightly, hips jerking, jaw dropping to gasp hotly, the blond's eyes dark and intense, almost glaring at Jaebeom. Mark Tuan, turned on was one hot fuck mess. He stopped and pulled his hands away.

He raised one brow at the man in the mirror, "Let's get in the shower, shall we? Can't waste water."

Mark growled and turned, grabbing him, and crashing his mouth to his.

"Get on your fucking knees…"

 _Holy fuck! Okay, hot turned up Mark is dominant as fuck!_ And Jaebeom loved it. That growl in that raspy morning voice made him weak at the knees so he was more than happy to comply, sinking down to the floor. His eyes became level with that heavy cock, the cock so hard he could see the veins on the side and he wanted nothing more than to lick a fat strip up that to the bulging head that was dark with colour. _Fuck, even his cock was beautiful._

He felt Mark lean across and turn off the water - good boy, not wasting water - before Mark pulled at his hair, forcing his face up towards his cock. Mark's hand was at the base of his cock, pushing it forward toward Jaebeom's lips. He dropped his jaw willingly.

"Suck my cock, baby…" Mark murmured, his voice thick and heavy, but surprisingly gentle. Jaebeom flicked his eyes up momentarily in surprise, but turned them back to gaze at the hard cock in front of him. He did as he was bade, leaning forward to open his mouth wide, letting the head rest on his tongue. He looked up at the man above him whose eyes darkened more at whatever sight he was presenting. Little did he know until later that this was how Mark had been picturing him in his own wank bank fantasies and Mark was thinking of everything under the sun that would stop him blowing his load right on his tongue just then. He did know that Mark felt heavy on his tongue, and it made his mouth water and his groin ache. He wanted nothing more than to slide his mouth all the way over this cock down to the base, wanting to lick and suck pre-come until Mark came into his mouth. He wanted the taste of that man on his tongue and in his mouth so desperately.

"Fuck, Jaebeommie, you are beautiful." Mark's tone was one full of wonder. Jaebeom took that as permission to move so he pressed forward lightly, wrapping his lips around the fullness of that head and he heard the ragged groan that Mark involuntary let out.

He slid his mouth down, slowly, softly, stimulating the underside with his tongue before he pulled back, lips tightening firmly and sucking lightly.

"Ah fuck, baby, that feels good."

Emboldened, he did it again, sliding down before pulling back, and again, and again. He could feel the man's trembling legs, Mark having to adjust his stance to gain stability once more and when he was ready, Jaebeom relaxed his jaw and let himself just enjoy pleasuring this man because good god, he tasted good. The pre-come was flowing and Jaebeom was lapping and sucking that for all he was worth. He could feel the cock getting thicker, harder in his mouth and he knew it wouldn't be long before Mark came in his mouth and he doubled his efforts and felt the clutch of a frantic hand in his hair and still, he slid down and up again. Mark's hand was still at the base of his cock and Jaebeom pushed all the way down until his lips met Mark's fingers and Mark's cock was pushing past his gag reflex and into his throat.

He throated him, hearing the strangled cries from above, and it wasn't long before both Mark's hands were in his hair and his hips were trembling against his lips and jaw as Mark came down his throat. Mark quickly pulled back after cumming, Jaebeom too, and he looked up as he wiped the corners of his mouth clean and gave the blond a very smug smile.

"Ready for that shower now, Mister Tuan?" His voice sounded rough after being throat fucked and he could see that Mark liked that. _Noted - for future reference._ He ignored the bit that said _what future?_ And grabbed the man's hand that was offered to him.

Mark pulled him up to his feet and the slim man wrapped his arms around him, clinging to Jaebeom to steady himself, his voice chuckling softly before he uttered "Thank you," in a low voice.

Jaebeom's heart bloomed with unnamed emotion and he kissed the top of the smaller man's head, "You're welcome."

They were soft when they got into the shower, all caressing and touching, exchanging kisses as they helped each other wash up and down, until once again the sexual tension rose and Jaebeom found himself in the corner, hard, horny, and being pushed back by a very aroused Mark. His breath came in short pants as his brain shorted out, overlaying visions of his fantasy of being taken in the shower with the reality of Mark sucking on his neck; wet, naked chest pressing hard against his; his hands being held tight and pushed back against the wall while a very erect and worked up blond moved his hips to rock his cock against his.

"M-M-Mar-r-rk…" Jaebeom stammered, his eyes just about rolling into the back of his head - that's how turned on he was. "Fuck, Mark, please… oh my god, I can't breathe. Stop, No, Don't. Stop." _Fuck what was he saying?_

"What are you saying, baby? Do you want me to stop? Are you ok?" Mark's concerned tone made Jaebeom feel a bit like an idiot.

"Mark.. I'm sorry… I just need to breathe…. Fuck I love this. I want this. But fuck… I have had so many fantasies of you in the shower and now I… I can't breathe. It's too much. Fuck."

Mark leaned his head on Jaebeom's shoulder, and for a moment, Jaebeom thought this was the end of them. Instead, he felt the man's shoulders shaking. At first he thought Mark was upset, then he realised that the man was laughing.

"Hey! Why are you laughing?"

Mark kissed his wet skin before pressing his lips to Jaebeom's, replying. "Is that all? I have had a few of you too. That's good to know that you have been thinking of me too. It feels very reciprocal then. Tell me…. He felt the whisper of Mark's lips brushing over his ear and he shivered despite the warmth of the water. "...what was I doing to you?"

Jaebeom's balls tightened and unclenched and he felt like he was having a dry orgasm at Mark's words. "I-I-I… fuck… you were…" he breathed out before taking a deep breath and expelling it. "You were on your knees, Mark," his voice was shaking and Jaebeom felt nervousness colouring his words. "You were sucking me off and telling me 'good boy'…"

His eyes flew up at Mark's sharply drawn in gasp and then his neck was clasped with a firm hand, his mouth was being plundered by an insistent tongue sliding into his willing mouth, the tongue grappling with his, touching tasting, stroking in, pulling out at the same time as a hand pulled at his hip, and his cock was being slid roughly against the other's hard cock that was leaking pre-come. Then it was a mouth suckling at his neck, licking its way down the column of his throat, stopping to suckle at small hollow at the base before moving down to flick and lick his erect nipples, licking around them in circles, before running roughly over the sensitive nubs and making him jerk in arousal and shock at the feel.

He opened his eyes when it all stopped and he looked down to see Mark; wet hair pushed back off his forehead, wet face staring up at him, licking his pink lips before he leaned forward to touch the tip of his tongue to the slit of Jaebeom's hard cock.

"Fuck! Mark!" he choked as the man licked, teased, then wrapped his hot mouth over the head of his cock and sucked - hard.

The blond's hair started to bob up and down and Jaebeom laid a gentle hand on his hair intending on just guiding the man, before the blond released him, looked up and said authoritatively, "Hold my head. Jaebeom - grip my hair. Fuck my mouth, Jaebeom. Take charge. You know you want to. Pull on my hair. _Make_ me suck you off," and when Jaebeom's fingers tightened as Mark held his gaze, he saw the man smirk before he purred, "Good boy…" and moved to take Jaebeom's cock back into his mouth, holding his gaze before the elder's eyes lowered and then the other man bobbed harder and further on the younger's cock than before and Jaebeom could only jerk his hips in surprise and groan loud at the feel. The younger braced himself as he could feel himself hurtling towards an orgasm.

_Shit. Good boy. Shit. Those words..._

"Fuck Mark," was the only warning he could give before he choked out a gasp, pulled hard on the man's hair and stilled his hips as he came, his member pumping into the blond man's mouth. He jerked with the final spurts, he was sucked clean and he pulled out of Mark's mouth as he grew overly-sensitive. Mark patted his ass as the elder released his cock from his mouth.

 _Holy shitballs and fuckman._ He felt replete, tired, and his legs threatened to give out on him and the other man gave a small chuckle, encouraging Jaebeom to slide down the wall and sit with the still kneeling older man. Warm arms wrapped around his slightly chilled body and they shuffled until they were sitting under the stream of water. Under the gentle spray of water, they exchanged small peppering kisses, wet lips pressing lightly against water soaked jaws, cheeks, noses, foreheads and necks as they gathered both of their breaths back.

Jaebeom leaned heavily against Mark, as the elder stroked his wet hair back from his face, the shower raining water down softly on them. The feel of Mark's hand on his forehead - God, that was so good. As was the blowjob he'd been treated to. Mark fulfilled his fantasy and then some. He voiced as much to Mark who wore a smug expression on his face and said he would take the compliment. Jaebeom especially loved the cute overbite of his lip when he said this, and he leaned his head to kiss the other's mouth gently.

"God, you're beautiful, Mark. Thank you."

The pink that coloured the other man's cheek made Jaebeom laugh, making him almost fall back on the shower floor.

"Aish, stop that," Mark admonished with a shy smile.

"But you're so cute, Markie…" teased Jaebeom.

"Aish, not another one."

"Another what…?"

Mark rolled his eyes at Jaebeom. "My friends call me stupid names like Markiepooh."

"Oooh, Markiepooh… yeah, ok, no, I won't call you that," Jaebeom retracted as he watched Mark's face change to an unamused look.

"Good." Mark pulled him close with a satisfied look on his face.

Jaebeom grunted as he allowed himself to be pulled against Mark's chest, "So how come you get to call me Jaebeommie and I don't get to call you Markie?"

He felt the man's laugh reverberate against his back. "Markie I can do. Markiepooh will guarantee that you will never get your dick anywhere near me for the rest of your natural born life."

Jaebeom laughed loudly. "Noted."

Mark's arms were draped over him as they sat on the floor, legs on either side of Jaebeom's. He leaned his head back, resting on the elder man's shoulder. He enjoyed the feel of Mark planting small wet kisses beneath his ear, down his neck and in the crevice between his neck and shoulder as the water fell on them. It felt so good.

Mark suckled on his shoulder for a brief moment before leaning his chin on his shoulder. Jaebeom shivered as a current went through his body. His dick twitched. He sucked in the corner of his lip. Gah, would he ever get enough of this man?

Mark teased his ear with his tongue. Jaebeom's body was limp, all focus from his bain focused on the one spot Mark Tuan held in his mouth. God, so good. So good. So fucking fucking good. He felt the chuckle against his skin as his body reacted.

"So.. what else have you thought about doing in the shower, Jaebeommie, baby?"

"Bending me over and fucking me until I came." _God, could he have said that any quicker?_ He felt a flush rising and he wanted to curl up in mortification at his eagerness but couldn't find the energy, weak against the fingers oh-so-casually stroking his bare skin, and that mouth that was sucking on his neck.

"Was it my name on your lips?" Mark's low voice asked gently.

He shook his head. _Definitely not his name._

"Oppa?" Mark questioned and, again, Jaebeom shook his head.

Jaebeom turned his head to look at him before he dropped his eyes to his lover's lips, a blush creeping up on his face. He croaked out the answer, "No… it was... Daddy." He bit his lip at the admission.

He wasn't prepared for the smaller man to jump him and push him to the floor of the shower. But he was really very happy at the reaction. Very very happy. Not as happy as he was fifteen minutes later when Jaebeom found himself facing the wall, Mark's cock in his ass ramming him hard and Jaebeom was cumming and calling the man fucking him, " _Daddy_." Thank God, he'd brought the lube into the shower.

End of chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you find the plot? I blame ... myself. I felt that all the angst and stuff I caused Jaebeom at the beginning meant he could have lots and lots of gratuitous smut now. But I also felt it had to have plots somewhere. Don't you agree?


	17. Tell Me that You Love Me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final leg of the Japan trip together - what exploring will Mark and Jaebeom do? And ... did they catch feels? How will this affect their normal life? Will it even affect their normal life? Or will it be just a holiday romance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I apologise now for keeping you all waiting. It's a massive update. All 14K and then some of it. A lot of smut (I won't apologise for that) and some feels. I wanted it all in the same chapter. I hope you enjoy it. All errors are mine.

* * *

After their bathroom escapades, Mark left Jaebeom in the bathroom and went into the bedroom to start getting dressed first.

"Hey, we should probably hurry if we want to make it to breakfast," he called out as he grabbed some clothes. The sun was definitely out now so people would be in the dining room having breakfast. He was starving. He shook out his jeans, intending to put them on, but when Jaebeom came back into the room, Mark got distracted and couldn't help but feast his eyes on Jaebeom's body. He stopped, one foot in his jeans, one foot out, balancing a little shakily as he openly ogled, growling appreciatively.

"See anything you like?" Jaebeom, walking across the room clad in only his boxers, grinned as he noticed Mark's openly appreciative look.

"Plenty," he replied, brow arching as he ran his eyes down the length of his body. Jaebeom face bloomed with colour, blushing madly when Mark hissed in appreciation. _Fuck - that body._ He would have thought that he'd got his fill of his boy, but apparently not as he dragged his eyes down the length of the man's bare chested torso, outline of his cock plainly obvious in his boxers and, holy fuck, that ass.

"Who needs breakfast?" Mark murmured.

 _Um, Mark?_ His stomach growled at him even as he checked out his boy. He told it to shush. His stomach rumbled again reminding him to focus on his needs, not his wants. His brain reminded him that Mark _needed_ breakfast - not just because he was fucking starving, but he needed breakfast if he wanted to keep doing what he'd been doing to his boy.

He sighed, tearing his eyes away and looking at Jaebeom. "We should probably go to breakfast though, right?"

The dark-haired man grinned and nodded. Somewhat reluctantly, Mark dragged his eyes away as he shoved his feet into his jeans and pulled them up, slightly annoyed at his body's need for actual sustenance. He was mentally struggling to shrug away his want to take Jaebeom to the dining room, and not just throw him down on the bed and have _him_ for breakfast. He took a deep breath and expelled it heavily. He could do this.

"You okay there?"

Mark sighed. "Yeah. Seriously though? I'm not normally awake at this time unless I have to be." Realistically, Mark normally only ever woke up because he was actually starving.

"Really?"

"I'm only awake for you." Like seriously. This morning, he'd felt Jaebeom's presence, and something in him wanting to maximise the time spent with his boy before he left these shores made him get up. _For fuck's sake, the sun hadn't even really risen up then._ His intention had been to shower and then go with him to the dining room, however, it seemed his baby boy had had other plans. Round three had dinged and then it was all on. Not that he'd minded - Jaebeom had been so incredibly hot and confident when he came into the bathroom. But also playful, which Mark found hotter than if Jaebeom had been all macho macho. And that blowjob had been sublime.

He pulled his tee shirt over his head and down his chest as he recalled the events in the bathroom, shivering a little in recollection. Holy shit - his boy was so good with his mouth. And god, oh, so willing - to anything and everything. Mark was finding he himself was kinkier than he'd thought.

"Daddy, huh?"

"Aish. Stop it."

"Wanna do it again?" Mark asked, eyeing the dark-haired man and his fuck awesome body.

"Fuck." Jaebeom looked stunned.

"Yeah…" Mark continued getting dressed, pleased that Jaebeom was now as distracted as he was. Sharing is caring, right?

In the shower, he'd found Jaebeom incredibly receptive to being soaped up and rinsed off with all sorts of innuendo and sensual touches - a slip of a hand here, a glide of the hand there, a lick of tongue and a few bites to finish. Thank god he was because Mark loved being able to soap that hard wiry body, finding all the crevices beneath the pads of his fingers and hearing those soft pants from Jaebeom's lips as he stood under the water. And Jaebeom was incredible at revving up Mark's already roaring libido when Jaebeom had reciprocated - all eager, and wanting; pressing, yet gentle. But when Mark pushed him up against the shower stall wall - Mark had worried that he was going to give the younger man heart failure when the young Korean hyperventilated at Mark trapping him in the corner and touching him. It had truly concerned him for a moment that maybe he had done something wrong. But it wasn't that at all. It had been incredibly touching and arousing for Mark to hear from Jaebeom's lips that he had had fantasies about Mark taking him in the shower - in every which way. It helped that Mark had also thought a lot about having Jaebeom in the shower in every which way too. To which Mark felt that he was obligated to fulfil said fantasies and set about getting on his knees to wrap his mouth around Jaebeom's hot and ready cock and sucking him until the boy came, but then Jaebeom had told Mark about calling him Daddy… and Mark's head had ceased functioning for a moment as it had been one of his secret things - to have someone call him Daddy. But for Jaebeom to then plead for Mark to bend him over and fuck him too; who was Mark to refuse? … so he'd bent the man over, lubing him up and fucking him, until against the shower wall Jaebeom groaned and they'd both cum once more. But holy shit - a Daddy kink? A fucking Daddy kink! Who knew??? Gah, this man would ruin Mark for all others - he swears.

Although after coming hard in Jaebeom's willing body once more - even as the younger had screamed out Daddy as he'd rammed him to cumming untouched - Mark was incredibly ravenous for actual food and he was aware that they had to check out today to head back to Yokohama so Jaebeom could pack before his morning flight.

He pulled socks on over his feet and sat back waiting for Jaebeom to finish getting ready, losing himself in his thoughts even as his eyes stared at Jaebeom hungrily, the brunet had bent over and started to put on his pants and Mark's eyes roved over the strong back muscles, the tight ass, the lean, muscular legs before they were removed from his view by the pants. _Dammit_. And now that ass looked good encased in those pants. Mark bit his knuckle in silent frustration.

"You. Are a walking fucking cock riser - did you know that?" Mark grouched, shaking his hand out - god he'd bitten down a bit hard. He checked the time - lucky for them both, there had still been plenty of time to get in for breakfast. Thank god for rising early this morning - literally and figuratively. He stood, grabbing his wallet and phone and shoving them in his pocket. As an afterthought, he checked his wallet - yep that little packet of lube - never know when it might be needed. He turned around to Jaebeom.

"Feed me, baby," he whined, shoulders shrugging up and down in a petulant motion to Jaebeom who was finishing getting dressed. Mark walked across and slipped his arms around the boy's neck, pouting. He could feel his ears getting red. So he was using aegyo to get his way. It would hopefully work. He was still embarrassed, no matter how he justified it to himself.

"Aish, you big baby. Okay, I'm ready. Let's go…" and Jaebeom pressed a kiss to his waiting pout and Mark smiled, happiness blossoming in his chest as his boy grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the door. He checked out their joined hands and smirked at how good they looked clasped together. He would miss this, but for the time being, he would make the most of it.

 

* * * * *

What happens when Mark gets distracted by tall, dark and handsome instead of having breakfast? He gets hangry.

Jaebeom noticed this almost immediately after their shower. He not only found it adorable but also a little turned on. A growly Mark was not one to be trifled with in his experience. Not that he minded, considering what those growls usually meant. His cock stirred and he immediately went 'oh god, down boy' to his overactive dick.

He had noticed the ogling look from his… from Mark. He'd smirked a bit - he admitted that it was nice to be leered at. Even when he was with Jinyoung, he'd gotten his fair share of looks from various people. Nice to know it was still there. He _may_ have taken the time to go slowly at pulling his pants on over his ass. He _may_ have bent over a little longer than he would have normally when picking up his shirt.

And he _may_ have take a little longer to finish pulling his t-shirt over his head and down his chest, but if asked, he would deny it. Even though he felt the other man's eyes staring at him the whole time.

He glanced over at Mark as he finished putting socks and slippers on. The little huffs the lean man expelled made the blond look adorable and that disgruntled look just added to the cute effect when he whined to Jaebeom, "Feed me, baby."

That cute pout up close and person made his heart clench. The arms around his neck sealed the deal. He knew he was whipped. But oh my god, Mark with aegyo. Jaebeom was just so taken with it. "Aish, you big baby." He smiled at the blond and sighed happily. "Okay, I'm ready. Let's go…" he leaned in to press a kiss on Mark's cute pout. Fuck, he had it bad. Fleetingly, he wondered if they had time to have another round but thought better of it.

Quickly, he pulled on the other man's hand as he grabbed it, taking them out the door before Jaebeom jumped on him again. Shit, he had it _so_ bad. He really was so whipped that he would just about give this man anything. Jaebeom definitely thought yes, anything and everything. And Jaebeom meant everything - even sexual everything. Or rather, _especially_ sexual everything. What round were they up to again? Did blowjobs count as separate or together? Fuck, he really desired to do everything with him. Every fantasy he'd ever had and new ones too - all of them had been on his mind since he had met Mark. More so even, since Mark was so receptive about making Jaebeom's fantasies come true. Idly, he wondered how Mark felt about being tied up. Or blindfolded. Or both?

He looked at Mark out of the corner of his eye. He saw the blond tossing his head to try to get the hair out of his eyes. Mark smiled wide in thanks, his eyes bright, and Jaebeom's heart melted. "Hungry, baby?" He laughed at Mark's fervent nod. "We'll get you fed and you'll feel better soon." He leaned over to brush the hair back from his eyes. He tugged the man closer into his side and squeezed his hand. As they entered the dining area, he tucked Mark's hand into the crook of his arm, pulling him closer into his side - feeling suddenly territorial and possessive as he noted a number of appreciative looks from women and, interestingly enough, some men being thrown Mark's way. He guessed that they weren't the only ones away on a 'holiday special'. _Stupid fucking people need to keep their eyes to themselves. They have their own people to pay attention to - stop looking at mine._ Jaebeom was decidedly put out at all the attention people were paying Mark.

"Do you have to be so good-looking?" he muttered darkly, glaring at everyone. "Everybody wants a piece of you."

Mark laughed and squeezed into his side, smiling cutely - _how can he be so cute when he's just smiling?_ \- and pushed them toward the table the server led them to. "Aw, are you jealous, Jaebeommie? I swear, I'm only here for you," Mark sat down, still grinning, " - and for food. I don't mind the looks. I'm here with you."

"You're here for _me_ ," Jaebeom stressed as they sat down. "You're mine," he groused, still grumbling and grumpy over the attention far too many people were paying _his_ Mark. He could feel his chin jutting out in annoyance.

Mark's eyes held his for a moment and Jaebeom felt his breath leave his lungs. He quickly mentally traced back over what he'd said in his fit of pique. Oh yeah. _You're mine_. His cheeks burned. He hadn't meant to say that out loud, but now that he had, it felt right. Shit. Filter - must work on that filter.

The servers brought their breakfast over - traditional Japanese breakfast as was typical of a ryokan stay - and they nodded their thanks. Grabbing their chopsticks - " _itadakimasu"_ \- they looked over the many dishes before eating. Mark's smile was so wide as he took in all the food placed in front of them and Jaebeom quashed the urge to squeal at the happy look on the other man's face.

As they ate, Mark quipped, "Well, if I'm yours, you're mine." Mark's tone was light, but his eyes were anything but… Jaebeom felt his heart clench. Was that in reference to his comment about being his? Did Mark really mean that? Jaebeom wanted to examine that phrase and turn it upside down for hidden meanings but on face value… Gah. He'd take that and hold it tight for the next however-many-hours were left.

He looked down at the food, trying to compose himself. He looked back across at the man. "I'm yours, you're mine, huh? I'm going to hold you to that," he promised, intent strong in his voice, staring intensely at Mark.

"Do you need ink and a pen?" Mark touched the tip of his tongue to this upper lip for a moment, teasing with his eyes, smiling with his lips.

"I was thinking more of a stone plaque and a chisel," Jaebeom joked.

"Okay!" Mark laughed his high pitched laugh; his face beautifully, astoundingly stunning in his obvious happiness.

Unconsciously, he reached across and rubbed his thumb on the other man's hand while thinking about how natural this all felt.

"What's natural?"

"Huh?"

"You said it feels so natural. I'm asking what does?"

Jaebeom was surprised at himself. "Shit, did I say that out loud? Oh! Okay. Um… well, here I am thinking about my man - you - who will be around to help me get off later."

"Oh I will, will I?" Mark seemed amused by this.

"Yeah, you will. You love my cock."

"Hey! Yeah okay, that is true. But to think that I thought you were this innocent guy I met at a Starbucks."

"Innocent? After reading your texts? Oh yeah… sure. I _was_ innocent. You corrupted my mind with your sexual texts! Incidentally, who was it that was sending you those?"

Mark shrugged. "A guy I was interested in. But he found himself someone else. As did I." Jaebeom flushed as Mark winked at him. But he was relieved to hear that they didn't seem to be texting anymore.

"Was it really only over a week ago that I'd been wondering about how life would be, going forward alone? And then you came into my life… now look at this shit - you and me together. If someone had told me that I would up and leave my life on the spur of the moment and travel to another country and meet someone who would make me think such thoughts as 'Jinyoung, who?' I would have laughed in their face."

Or cried. Considering his state of mind a few weeks ago, he probably would have just cried. Looking over Mark's shoulder and reading those texts had been such a random thing, not something that anyone would think would have started whatever it was they were on, let alone go on a trip together, sightseeing, adventuring and sleeping together.

"More like ten days. I think I met you on my first day here," Mark commented after some thought.

Wow. Really? Ten days? It felt a bit surreal in many ways to Jaebeom. It certainly didn't feel like they had just met. It felt like his entire Japan trip had been with Mark all along. He had met him on the first day and almost everyday since Mark has been present in his day. And last night, they'd spent finally spent a night together. And screwed each other senseless. And it was amazing. It was fucking amazing. It wasn't scary at all. It actually scared him more at how little it scared him.

He ate slowly, digesting his thoughts more than the food.

He looked up at Mark and met his eyes. Mark gave him a cheeky little smile and a wink. He felt a little silly at feeling bashful when Mark looked at him like that, but he was.

He started when Mark reached across and swiped his thumb along his bottom lip, brushing away a grain of rice stuck on his mouth. His heart flip flopped at the gesture. Mark had done this a number of times to him, especially in the last twenty-four hours and his heart still pattered in that same erratic way every time he did it. It was so intimate a gesture and so freely done and it made his heart sing and clench in way that was almost hurtful, almost painful.

Jaebeom was aware of how many people were staring at his man as Mark did this. He smirked a little, gloating inside. _Eat your heart out people - this one is mine._

"Well, then," Mark leaned back. "I'm going to say ditto for you then. You cannot look at anyone else. You're mine. You'd better not let me catch you staring at anyone else while we're here." There was an edge to Mark's voice, even as he ate…

"Or what?" Jaebeom asked, his voice a little on the breathless side as he hoped for Mark to say he felt a bit more for him than just holiday fling material.

Mark put his chopsticks down and made moue with his mouth, as if pretending to think about it. He tapped his thumb against his pouting lips before quipping lightly, "I'll think about a suitable punishment for looking. Or perhaps…" he leaned forward, dropping his voice low and skimming his eyes down as if he could see Jaebeom's body through the table, sending delicious shivers down Jaebeom's body, "...maybe more appropriately, a strong deterrent to stop you from even thinking about looking at someone else." Mark arched a brow at him, as if daring him to challenge this statement.

"Hmm... maybe," Jaebeom teased and waggled his brows, "... you should make sure that I am satisfied enough so that I wouldn't be looking because I'd be more than satisfied with what _we_ have."

"Hmm… maybe I should work on that. I'm sure we can find ways to satisfy every part of you." Mark's voice was almost purring and something about that made Jaebeom's breath catch with a hitch. He suddenly had mental images of Mark first 'punishing' him and then also 'deterring' him with almost every sexual deviancy known to man and to be honest, Jaebeom wouldn't be adverse to any of them - just quietly. Cuffs - check. Floggers - check. Paddles - check. Cock cage - let's talk about that one.

Mark's tongue darted out to lick his lips and Jaebeom stared at his wet lips before looking into Mark's eyes. Mark's eyes darkened, and Jaebeom could see them flicking from _his_ eyes to _his_ mouth. Oh god - can he be turned on by Mark just looking like he wanted to fuck him? Because that was what Jaebeom was feeling right then. He felt hot and flushed and his dick and balls were like 'oh okay, again? Sure, why not!' He was almost certain _he_ wasn't on the breakfast menu, but Mark had him wishing he was. His balls began that familiar ache that seemed to happen since he had met this man. But this time, he felt good about it because he knew that said man would help him later. Not that much later though, he was hoping. Maybe he could persuade Mark into a blowjob or sex before they checked out after breakfast.

Breakfast? Shit, they were in the dining room with other people. "Mark… breakfast," he choked out, feeling his chest constricted by the hungry look on Mark's face.

He watched as Mark blinked and sat back, suck his bottom lip as he stared at Jaebeom. "Um… yeah, breakfast." He picked up his chopsticks, but his eyes would flick continuously to Jaebeom as he resumed eating. Jaebeom felt like he'd narrowly escaped a very public display of affection… And he didn't know how to feel about that.

* * * * *

Mark thought it was lucky they were in the dining room of the ryokan with other people, because breakfast could have ended very differently. Jaebeom should count himself lucky that Mark was able to restrain himself from publicly displaying his outright affection for his boy. Yes, he would have thrown him down and had his way with Jaebeom had they been alone. Something told him not to do that - apart from propriety, it was also probably not what Jaebeom would have wanted. But his little devilish part of his brain quipped who knows - maybe Jaebeom is into exhibitionism?

He'd just taken plenty of deep breaths, feasting his eyes on the dark-haired man, watching him move that broad shouldered body that he'd spent the last ten hours learning and touching and licking and _god, get a fucking grip on yourself, Tuan._

He concentrated on the food - _food, Mark, food not Jaebeom_ \- and ate and finally sated his stomach's hunger.

Breakfast finished, hangry Mark averted - they made their way out of the dining room. Mark seized the other's hand and held it in his, dragging him out the door to the outdoors.

"Let's go for a walk," he suggested. "Walk off breakfast." He noted the happy expression on the younger's face when he grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together. Jaebeom's pleased reaction made Mark grin, sucking his bottom lip as they walked along.

Aside from not wanting to scare the man by dragging his ass to their room and having one more fucking session, Mark knew he was putting off the packing up and leaving of this idyllic place by suggesting this walk. As if he could hold back time by procrastinating. He was pretty sure that Jaebeom was not really buying into the 'let's go walk off breakfast' excuse considering the amount of energy they had expended throughout the night and that morning. But Mark hadn't want to just go back into the bedroom - far, far too much temptation. He wanted to add to the memories that Jaebeom had - maybe for his own selfish reasons, because part of him wanted Jaebeom to remember not just Japan, but to also remember Mark himself. And not just for sex, but for other memories too.

"So why are we going for a walk instead of like you know, screwing each other's brains out? Because you know - that's pretty much what our breakfast conversation consisted of."

"I know," Mark replied. "This is why we are walking. Your last few days slash hours are not going to be confined to a bed and fucked into insensibility…'

"Why not?" Jaebeom grumbled.

"...because there is more to this trip than finding a fuck buddy. You need to heal other shit too, that Jinyoung broke, Im Jaebeom. And the only way to do that is to give you fresh memories of what life can be like when it's fun, with people you like and are attracted to and doing things that _you_ want to do."

Jaebeom pursed his lips at this. "But what if I don't want to walk?"

"Then we don't have to," Mark was firm. They didn't have to do this at all. "But, there are some beautiful grounds here; you are in Hakone, one of the most beautiful places to stay in while staring at the imposing Mt Fuji in the background and you want to stay indoors? What will your friends say when you go back and can't explain what you've seen of Japan?"

"They'll say you at least got up close and person with the Japanese laundry."

Mark laughed. "Okay, okay, I'll give you that."

Jaebeom grinned, "What do you really want me to see?"

Mark smiled, "There are hidden gardens on this ryokan property and I thought we could explore these one by one. Might seem dumb but I thought a walk together might be nice to look back on. A lot of my own memories of my closest friends and family are of doing mundane things, liked walks, and talks, and games, and dinner and just stuff."

Jaebeom snuggled into his side, his head on his shoulder, "Oh that really does sound good. Let's do that."

Mark smiled at the dark hair plastered to his arm while they walked. As much as he'd like to continue the sexing, he also wanted the bonding side. Besides which, Japan is pretty and Hakone in the morning is simply stunning. Also helped that Jaebeom was too. They walked around the ryokan property, pausing at one hidden garden then another, talking to one another as they walked - their arms swinging in time, their feet moving in sync.

He walked closely to the other man, noting their synchronised steps and the natural swaying of joined hands. Was it only a short ten days ago that Jaebeom had landed in his life? It feel like forever, yet it felt like no time at all. Mark felt like he was being rewarded for returning to Japan.

"Do we still need to stop at Gotemba Mall?" Mark asked conversationally as they walked.  

"Yes please, if you don't mind. I need to buy some things and I may as well hit up the outlet mall."

Curiosity made him ask, "What are you buying?"

"Err…"  He muttered something which Mark couldn't quite catch; their feet crunching through fallen leaves as they walked making it harder to hear when Jaebeom went quiet. Jaebeom was cute when he was a bit shy, Mark noted.

"What was that about buying what? I didn't quite catch what you said?"

He noticed Jaebeom rubbing the back of his nape. Mark had noticed the younger often did that when he was nervous. "I, ah, need to buy a couple of suitcases."

Mark looked at him, somewhat surprised. "Wow. How much did you buy already that you need to buy two more suitcases?" He teased, "Are you taking home the whole of Japan in your suitcase? Are you leaving any of it behind for the rest of us?"

Mark stared at Jaebeom, putting a frown on his face, and faked concern. "Or are you really a psycho stalker and you are going to take me home with you in little bits? Hey," he laughed as a thought occurred to him, "... does this mean my penis gets its own suitcase?" He wiggled his eyebrows meaningfully.

"Ai! Stop it! Oh my god! For the last freaking time - I'm not your stalker! And I'm not a psycho, though right now you're making me feel like one. And hey, lastly - you are impressive but not enough to warrant an entire suitcase for your cock!"

Mark stared at him smugly. "But you are impressed," he smirked before laughing loudly when Jaebeom hit him. Mark pretend-pouted and stuck out his lower lip. "Aw...so you aren't going to murder me? And chop me into little pieces and eat me?"

"I might eat you out later," Jaebeom muttered darkly, his grip tight on his hand as annoyance flowed through his body. Mark choked on jaebeom's words and stumbled a little, but righted himself. _Is that so?_ Mark silently filed that away. "...but no," Jaebeom emphatically stated. "I won't murder you. Hard to fuck a dead person."

Less than a heartbeat later… "So… you've tried it then?" Mark couldn't resist the opening. Jaebeom stared wide-eyed at him in shock. Mark joked, "Some people are into that," before...

"Ew…" they both made a face.

Mark apologised profusely for making them think about that. "Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to take it there. Sorry about that." He made a face and turned the conversation back to something normal. "So um, why the purchase of new luggage then?

"Well, I don't actually have any suitcases yet. So it's not exactly more."

"Huh?" Mark frowned, not understanding.

Jaebeom sighed, "This was an impromptu trip so I only brought a a cabin bag. I didn't really pack. I've bought everything I've needed since I arrived."

Ah. Mark read between the lines. Jinyoung must have been the catalyst for Jaebeom being in Japan. Wow, that must mean that the break up was very recent. Like in the last few months recent.

They walked along quietly. Their feet crunched through the grass and fallen leaves as they walked on. Mark noted the change of season meant the leaves were already falling. He would have to look through the mall for a jacket if he was going to stay much longer since he didn't bring one - he'd figured he'd buy what he needed here. Wait… Throwing Jaebeom a quizzical look, Mark questioned, "You came to Japan with basically nothing?"

"Yes."

"You travelled to another country, one you didn't know, and arrived with nothing?"

"Um, yeah."

"Wow," laughed Mark. "I'm actually impressed. I tend to do the same, but I guess I've gotten used to other people who pack everything with them." Mark thought of Jackson's predilection of packing everything that he might possibly need while away and a list of places he could go to in case he needed the equivalent of something he hadn't been able to bring with him. "I have friends who can't travel without the kitchen sink."

When Jaebeom laughed with him, Mark found himself biting his lip. _Goddamn_. Mark really liked it when the younger laughed. Despite it happening a lot over the course of this trip, Mark still had to calm his heart for the millionth time hearing it. He wanted to see that more often. That laugh really did do things to his poor heart and it would often beat erratically at the sound of Jaebeom's laughter. He was so screwed. It was going to hurt when this man left. He pushed aside the somewhat depressing thought for now. "So what else are you buying in order to warrant two suitcases? You didn't leave a lot at Taecyeon's before we came here so... " Mark was referring to the things that Jaebeom had left at the older man's apartment before they had left for their little holiday trip.

Jaebeom shrugged. "Just wanted to pick up a few gifts for some friends back home."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, you know, my ex and I split up?

Mark snorted. "Obviously."

Jaebeom rolled his eyes and smiled. "Well, these guys were good friends who stayed with me rather than with him. They were my port in the storm after the shit went down. That and they helped make sure I was a pleasant, crying drunk rather than a destructive one."

Mark could relate. He watched carefully as the cloud that crossed Jaebeom's face as he recalled those nights. Mark squeezed his hand in empathy; the younger looking up at him and Mark nodded, smiling his understanding. He'd had Jackson and Yugyeom when he'd left Taecyeon and stayed in Korea - that was back in the days when Jackson and Yugyeom had been a couple. It had been a messy time for him then too.

Mark mused aloud, telling the younger, "I had friends like that too when I've ended relationships. But my last long term one when my long-term ex and I split? That was a little unpretty. And the friends that take you in and keep you alive… well, friends like that… they deserve their rewards." Jaebeom raised a brow - Mark took that as a silent query. He took a breath and expanded on his story, "I was not in a good place. Some… unfortunate…" Mark searched for the right term without wanting to invoke a pity party by telling his holiday fling lover who was about to leave the country that his parents had died and he'd fallen apart and ran away from his then boyfriend whose apartment they were about to go stay the night in before said holiday lover flew out of the country. Probably not how he should explain it.

Mark settled for something innocuous and vague, "Yeah, I had some unfortunate _incidents_ in my life and I needed a harbour, I guess. Gaga was good to me and let me stay with him and his not-yet boyfriend until I got myself together. I was a pretty messy drunk."

"I can relate." Jaebeom was nodding.

Mark shrugged. "In the end… I got my shit together. And I kinda got them together."

At Jaebeom's quizzical look, Mark explained, "My friends were oblivious to one another and I got them to see what was right in front of them and got them together," Mark sniggered a little at the memory.

"You got your friends to date?"

"Well, they were wanting to for ages, but they'd both been dancing around it a lot."

"Nice. Were they appreciative about it?"

"Yeah, actually. They were a really lovely couple. Very sweet together. They did kinda dote on each other. Although they are now split and have moved on to other people, the friendship is still there and they loved their time together. I feel very happy that I at least was a catalyst for their happy time together. That and I bought them a plant in thanks. Oh, and got them both pretty trashed when they split up."

"Well, at least they are still friends."

Mark caught the catch in Jaebeom's tone. Jinyoung, he was guessing, hadn't wanted to be friends. He gently smiled at Jaebeom, looking at him. "I'm glad you had good friends around you after your break up," he said to the dark-haired man. "You deserve good people. Besides, you're far too cute to be left on the shelf."

A blush stole across Jaebeom's face at Mark's words and the young man ducked his head bashfully, making Mark bite his lip at this cute gesture.

" _Aish_. My friends told me similarly. They gave me the spiel about plenty more fish in the sea. Yadda yadda blah blah blah."

Sensing the blacker mood that was pervading Jaebeom, Mark gently navigated to tone back to a lighter more carefree one, teasing the other man, "Tell me about these fish in the sea… am I one of them?"

Jaebeom peeked at him. "I don't know - do you have a tail? Are you hooked?"

They stopped in one of the gardens and looked out across the view towards a river that was nearby. Mark felt compelled to back hug Jaebeom … it was nice to note how easily the other man relaxed into the curve of his body.

"Maybe," Mark replied easily. "Do you want me to be? I could get hooked on you."

"Not if you are going to use lines like that. And to think I used to find you sexy..." Jaebeom's tone was teasing and sarcastic.

"Hey!"

"I was expecting moonlight and roses!"

"No you weren't. Don't lie. Shut up and let me snuggle you." Mark squeezed him tightly for a moment before loosening his arms and doing just that - snuggling Jaebeom. They stood together, just breathing and listening to the quiet air around them.

"It's so peaceful," Mark remarked. "I can't get over how beautiful this country is."

Jaebeom nodded, his hands clasping over Mark's hands around his waist. They felt warm and comforting. Mark really liked this. Standing peacefully in these quiet surrounds with his beautiful man and just being. It was so good. So perfect. So easy to fall in love. He was quiet as the words floated quietly around in his mind. Love.

They had found each other here on this short trip and had finally worked through the sexual tension that had been building since their first meeting. Their unconventional first meeting. Not that any of the other meetings had been less unconventional either. Mark had wanted Jaebeom to leave with romantic and feel-good feels along with beautiful scenic memories, but he himself also wanted to have good memories of their time together. This was, after all, the first time in a long time that he had wanted to do anything like this.

In Mark's head, having a romantic time away with great sex, beautiful moments in idyllic scenery with a holiday fling was safe, secure. He hadn't really counted on his heart becoming involved but even though it scared the crap out of him, he felt compelled to go along to completion.

Even if it meant a broken heart.

And it seemed like all their meetings had been pushing them towards this - towards this idyllic interlude, complete with romantic feels and fierce sexual attraction.

This amble through nature was just extending the romantic feels that they each had been feeling. They hadn't discussed it; they had just felt it. They talked about life, not love, but other things in general terms. Neither were too specific about their home lives, not wanting to break the mood they had created on this trip. It was comfortable, light, with things that related pretty much only to this time and place. It was perfect.

He listened to the sound of his heart thumping in his chest. He felt the soft relaxed breathing of his man against him. Everything else was quiet and still. An insect flew out of a nearby tree; something rustled in a nearby bush; a bird squawked once from the air. Mark loved how quiet it was, but he knew what he wanted to add to that quiet - the sounds of his boy moaning softly.

"You know what would be fun?" he intoned, his voice quiet and low, giving no inkling as to what was on his mind to the other man.

"What?" Jaebeom asked, sounding all relaxed and blissed out after being well fed and being held close to someone who cared.

Mark slid a palm, slow and firm, down over the front of the other man's pants feeling his dick stirring beneath his hand. He felt Jaebeom's body stiffen and heard his breath catch in his throat. Mark smirked a little naughtily as he rubbed his hand over the stiffening cock. He bit back his own moan as he felt the growing stiffness beneath his palm. Moving his hand more, he encouraged Jaebeom's dick to full erection and when he deemed the time right, he breathed into the young man's ear, "It would be fun hearing you cum while we are out here in the open."

The man's eyes widened as he turned his head to look at Mark. "Um, what?"

"You heard me… Hearing your breathless moans float with the other sounds in the air," he said, his tongue poking out the corner of his own mouth as his words teased the younger man simultaneously as his hand rubbed over his pants feeling the outline of his cock. "I want to slid my hand into your pants, fist your cock in my hand, stroke your hard cock until your balls tighten and pump cum out over my hand. What do you think of that?"

Jaebeom was breathing hard, his eyes glassy.

Mark laughed low and teasing, "I thought as much. Shhh… you just have to be quiet…"

Mark leaned forward to unzip the man's pants and slid his hand beneath the man's waistband of his boxers. Wrapping his fingers around Jaebeom's quickly rising length felt like coming home, and Mark's breath caught in his throat. He swallowed hard as he started to slide his hand up and down the length of that member.

It was gratifying to feel the younger man trust him as he leaned his head back, allowing himself to just feel as Mark eased the clothing off the now hardened cock. Pre-come was leaking already and Mark was using that as a helpful lubricant. But he did happen to have that little sachet in his pocket… oh there it is… he quickly made short work of lubing up his man's cock, noting the little excited jerk of the man's hips as he slid his hand along the slicked up length. He twirled his palm around the head of his cock, before sliding back down to the base. The boy arched back against him.

"Mark…" the younger breathed, sounding mildly anxious, but also very turned on. "What if somebody comes?"

"Apart from you, you mean?" Mark laughed softly. "You'll be very quiet then... " then as he firmly gripped his boy's cock he added, "Or I can gag you…"

The sharp intake of breath let Mark know that Jaebeom was very taken with this thought. Was his boy into kink? Oh god, why is there not more time to explore this? Mark cursed their short time together. He really wished he had more time to explore that and to experience more with this man - he felt they would have a fantastically banging time.

His hand slid rhythmically along the man's cock, feeling the hardness against his palm, the silkiness against the sensitive pads of his fingers. He could also feel the tightness of his ass against his own hard cock. Fuck, his boy felt so good. He couldn't help but rock up against his ass cheeks and hear the groan that accompanied it. Mark shivered in delight.

He licked his neck. "Does my baby boy like the idea of being gagged? Hmm… What about being tied?"

Jaebeom gasped aloud and drew in a sharp breath. Mark gave a slight twist to his downward stroke, and felt the sharp jerk of the hips in response.

"Do you like that, huh? Would never have picked you for someone who liked being tied up. Would you like me to bind you from behind or to a bed? Or maybe you'd like it out in the open, tied with your hands behind your back, bent over while I slide into you… "

The resulting gurgle in Jaebeom's throat as he groaned and moaned at Mark's words warmed his heart, and that little evil part of him that wanted to tease his boy some more. He firmed his strokes, changing patterns to keep Jaebeom wanting and felt the responding rocks against his grip.

He chuckled lowly, "Or perhaps you'd like it if I blindfolded you? Hmm?" he questioned, feeling the boy nod against his shoulder. "Or maybe…" he licked his ear, and sucked on the hollow beneath his ear as his hand moved a little faster on his length, adding another little twist at the head, hearing the guttural groan before sliding down, "...shhh, baby. Someone might hear. Maybe - I should gag you first, then blindfold you before binding your hands behind your head and then I can do whatever I want to you. Pinch your nipples, suck your cock, eat you out… "

Hips rocked a little faster, pushing the brunet's cock faster into the blond's fist and it was with a sudden "oh fuck," as the younger man came in Mark's hand. Mark quickly leaned the boy's cock forward so the cum wouldn't land on Jaebeom's clothes, and he could feel the man's balls spasm as white ropes spurted out over Mark's hand and onto the ground. His own dick was hard in response.

But something about how quickly it all happened made Mark smile; it was all so quick, it felt almost like being a teenager again. All dirty words, secret garden trysts, and quick dirty handjobs. He lifted his hand to lick Jaebeom's cum off, smiling contentedly as Jaebeom panted his way down from his climax, leaning against Mark.

Mark turned the boy around and with his hands brace don the man's hips, took the man's softening cock in his mouth, keeping his mouth firm and sucking his boy's cock clean. He could hear the strangled chokes of sound as Jaebeom jerked against his tongue, the overstimulation making him cry out and clutched at his shoulders. Mark held the cock in his mouth, letting the man's cock grow soft in his hold, before he let it go. He tucked Jaebeom back into his pants and patted it after doing up his zip. Jaebeom jerked, still over stimulated, and Mark laughed a little at Jaebeom's reaction. "Sorry baby," Mark wrapped his arms about him and pressed his lips on the younger boy's cheek. "Oh, god, Beommie… you are delicious beyond my wildest dreams."

The man turned his head contentedly, pressing his lips on the man's neck, before tucking nose into the crook of his neck. Mark felt Jaebeom breathing him in, contentment evident in the relaxed stance, and in his easy smirk against Mark's skin. "You, Mark, are the devil," cam the muffled response. "And you will be the death of me. I swear."

Mark gave a wide satisfied grin, pulling the boy up and pecking his lips. He smirked a little before leaning in once again, kissing him softly. Jaebeom responded softly too, making Mark humm in happiness. He grabbed the dark haired man's hand and pulled him back towards the ryokan. They had packing and getting home to do. He had started to wish that they really were going home together. He should probably warn Taecyeon and Jackson because fuck, this shit was going to hurt.

* * * * *

Back in the room, the packing up was being done in a bit of a hurry because well, they wanted to get back to Taecyeon's apartment. The walk and the handjob had been amazing and Jaebeom would have loved to reciprocate with a blowjob, but Mark had vetoed that as being too time consuming and reassured him that they'd have plenty of time tonight…  so now they were hurrying to check out of their room. And everything was rush rush rush...

"Did you remember to remove…"

"Where did we leave the lube..?"

"Did you find…?"

There really had been no need for Jaebeom's hand to be on Mark's ass every time he moved past him, but hey, who was going to ref that policy?

"Phone charger... Thanks!"

"Is this ours…?"

Nor was there really a need for Mark to peck a kiss on the younger man's cheek, lips, neck every time he went past either but Jaebeom wasn't going to complain and he took that kiss every time, adding it to his little memory banks to look at in the future when he was alone.

"Hey I think this is yours?"

"Oh yeah sorry, thanks."

He added his own kisses in for good measure when he felt that Mark wasn't kissing him enough, a lingering kiss against the curve of his neck, a quick grasp of a hand to bring it to his mouth, brushing the back of it lightly against his lips, a quick peck on the lips when Mark handed him something to pack, adding light touches on the man's back, an intimate hand at the nape of his neck, but most of all, he gave him return smile to all the small smiles his man gave him. His heart would patter erratically very damn time. So whipped. So very whipped.

Finally everything was in their bags or so he hoped. He took a deep breath as he zipped up his bag. He felt like this was the beginning of the long slide home and it made him frown, as he felt an overwhelming sadness at the thought. He grabbed his bag and Mark's hand and hand in hand they walked out of the room. He glanced back for a moment. He had a feeling that he'd be looking at all of this in great detail in the future and he would be holding on fast to those moments found in that room.

As they drove away, he couldn't help feeling like he'd left a little something of himself there. Maybe what they say about Japan is true. It captures your heart and you leave part of yourself there.

At Gotemba Outlet mall Jaebeom proceeded to buy out the mall, or at least it felt like it. And yeah, Mark did too. After the mad shopping excursion, Jaebeom had gifts for Taecyeon, Wooyoung, Seokjin, Yugyeom, and Youngjae with his new beau. Plus he thought about bringing home things for some work acquaintances and, of course, his family. He wasn't sure where he stood with the Park family so he bought something just in case. In the end, they were both laden down with bags, and thankful for Taecyeon and Wooyoung's gift of car and driver.

Finally, _finally_ , they arrived back at Yokohama. They had agreed to stay at Taecyeon's apartment, rather than a hotel with said apartment dweller offering and opting to to go stay at Wooyoung's so the new lovers Mark and Jaebeom could spend their last night together comfortably. And Jaebeom was on the apartment floor with all of his belongings and gifts surrounding him. He didn't think he had so much. Was it all going to fit?

"You bought so much. What did you end up buying at Gotemba that you hadn't already bought so far?" Mark asked as he lay on the bed looking at Jaebeom. He looked so damn cute.

"It's a bit more than I had estimated in my head, I will admit." He put things into the suitcases, carefully working out how to fit it all in. He'd just about got it all in when Mark stretched, distracting him as the tee shirt rose to reveal bare abs. Jaebeom's mouth salivated and he gulped at the glimpse of that skin. _Fuck_.

"This is tiring," Mark yawned.

"I think you're tired out from this morning, Markie." Jaebeom fixated on the expanse of skin he could still see.

"I think you might be right, Beommie. Who knew holiday flings could be so tiring? In a way, it's good you're going home tomorrow so I can get some sleep!"

Jaebeom laughed. "I think I'll be sleeping on the flight home. My friend, Brain, he told me it was my mission to get laid. I think he wanted me to have a holiday fling and get my brains fucked out. I messaged him earlier telling him he better get me from the airport because I was going to be too fucked to catch the train home. "

Mark laughed loudly. "Yes, you can tell him that mission is completed. Well and truly."

Jaebeom gave up on packing, got onto his knees, and crawled across the floor to where Mark was laying on the bed, prowling very cat-like. He leaned in and kissed him thoroughly, one hand clamped firmly on the nape of the blond's neck. Mark was left breathless when Jaebeom was finished. "What…?"

Mark shivered when Jaebeom purred, "Maybe we need to make sure that the mission is completely done. I want you," he stated boldly. "Take your pants off… It's my go to have a turn at you. I want _you_ to remember _me_ when you can't walk tomorrow."

* * * * *

 _Fuck. Okay._ Mark couldn't find any problem with that. He barely got his pants and boxers off before Jaebeom was on top of him, tongue pushing in to his mouth. Mark smiled around the other man's tongue before thrusting back with his own and wrapping his bare legs around the other man. He noted the other man hadn't removed any clothing and somehow that made Mark more excited than ever. He always knew he was a kinky little shit. Jaebeom was pretty much confirming it for him.

Jaebeom's tongue thrust its way in his needy mouth, and he welcomed the now familiar taste of the other man, and god, that tongue sliding against his made him groan and he sighed into the younger's mouth as his own need was fanned hotter with the driving hips against his bare and naked cock. "Touch me, Jaebeom, I need to feel you" he breathed as material rubbed tantalisingly against his skin, keeping the other's cock away from him. He moaned with frustration.

Arms draped around his head, hands gripped his wrists, Mark was held in place as Jaebeom teased his naked cock - rocking his hips against him, giving him the friction he wanted, but not the warm skin, nor the cock-to-cock feel. _So close but so far._ And Jaebeom's forearms kept the younger's mouth tantalising close to Mark's lips, but never quite enough to kiss him as deeply as the elder wanted. He raised his head up, trying to get deeper into the younger man's mouth, wanting to deepen the kiss and feel him deep inside at least one part of him, but the younger kept teasing him. He was aching for him. He wanted more of the younger. _Fuck - give me._ "Jaebeom…" he groaned as the younger further teased his lips with little laps of the tip of tongue and a nibble on the lips ending in a gentle pull of his lower lip with his teeth, causing Mark to rock his hips up into the younger. The moan that Jaebeom released reverberated through Mark, making his nipples erect, his balls tighten and his cock harder and leaking with pre-come. "Jaebeom, - _fuck_ \- get naked already. Fuck. _Please_. I want you."

He couldn't get close enough. He wanted to be pressed up to his man, pressed up naked but Jaebeom wouldn't let him go. He felt the younger pull his hands up above his head, then holding both of his wrists with one hand. He wriggled but the younger held firm. "Let go, Mark, let me do it all," he felt whispered against his lips before a hand snaked down to his waist, sliding his shirt up to bare his abs, then his chest. Mark moaned and arched as the hand smoothed across his skin, barely touching him; sliding up his bare sides, over his chest, circling his nipples before passing over the tips, sensitising them to his touch. Mark hissed at the feeling as a shock went from the tips to his balls, that ache growing in his groin. He wanted those fingers pressing down against his taint, touching that ring of muscles, teasing and pushing into him, and hitting that spot so he could cum.

He clenched his hands, nails driving into the palm of his hands as they fisted beneath Jaebeom's hand. His arms fought to be released, to be able to touch the man above him who teased and tormented him. He wanted to desperately lick and suck and touch and tease the man who was taking him to an aching, tortured state wanting to be sucked on, fucked in, and brought to an exploding release. Mark had never felt quite this desperate, this tortured, this teased before. His mind only knew it wanted one thing - release.

His legs wrapped around the other man's body, letting him rock up to find friction for his cock. He was leaking pre-come everywhere but he was beyond caring. He wanted the younger man to touch him, with his hand, his mouth, or his naked skin - whatever, but not this clothing business. He was getting frustrated at not getting what he wanted and he was being held in place. _He needed more, dammit. More!_ His body twisted and writhed on the bed, as the boy teased his nipples - the warm pads of Jaebeom's fingers feeling incredible against the sensitive nubs. "You're a fucking tease," Mark growled as his body arched once again. He threw his head back at the almost painful need driving his body to press hard against his boy. "You're a cruel, evil man," he panted as Jaebeom's body dropped down on his. The larger weight held his slimmer body captive beneath the broad chested man, and his boy toyed with Mark's nipples more with the tips getting so much more sensitive that Mark was almost crying to be let go. Then that mouth - that fucking hot slick mouth - engulfed one nipple and Mark cried out as a current ran straight down to his groin; his cock got so hard, and his balls clenched and unclenched and he couldn't rock up any longer because the man had pinned the bottom half of his body down with his weight. Mark cursed a blue streak, "Fuck you, Jaebeommie! Fuck you, you evil evil bastard. Fuck! Fuck! Oh my fucking god!" The last curse ended on a gurgle of sorts as Jaebeom slid a hand down to press against the spot directly under Mark's balls. His cock twitched to almost stand up on its own.  


"You are fucking shitting me! Touch my cock, you bastard!" he spat out in frustration. Mark was barely holding it together. He could feel what the other man was doing to him and he couldn't do anything back - he could only writhe around, aching to find release as his nipples were toyed with, his cock untouched, his balls teased and his hole - fuck, Mark wanted Jaebeom's fingers, his cock, his mouth, fucking anything to come and touch it.

"Jaebeom…" he panted, "fucking touch me. Please." He was pleading now. "Oh god yes, suck me," he moaned as Jaebeom lightly pulled on a nipple while licking the other with the tip of his tongue. "Fuck me, please, Jaebeommie…" his words were barely comprehensible as Jaebeom's other hand teased his balls and the younger's leg slid between his, "...ohhh... fuck…" his body arched and bowed as currents flowed through his body, causing him to jerk and twitch and cry out. "Damn you!" he glared at the dark haired torturer who was smirking at him, "Suck me, fuck me, do whatever but please please please, do something more than tease me. I beg you." He threw his head back, his eyes and jaw clenched against the tide of pent up desire to cum as Jaebeom chuckled and moved his hot delectable mouth down Mark's body. Over his ribs, over his abs causing Mark to suck in a sharp breath as the _fucking tease_ followed his happy trail and breathed hotly on the tip of his cock.

His toes curled when Jaebeom nosed down the side of his cock, sucked on his inner thigh, licked his way down the crease from hip to taint, before finally planting soft, wet kisses down towards his aching hole. He felt Jaebeom's hand lifting his legs, bending them at the knee, and he pliantly, willingly, helped to raise them to either side of his chest. He blankly followed the softly spoken, "Hold your legs up, baby…" He hadn't even realised that Jaebeom had released his wrists. But he felt both of Jaebeom's hands on either side of his hole, as his mouth gently breathed on him. Was he… oh my god… would he…?

But all further thought left his mind when he felt the touch of his boy's tongue edge the rim of his hole and Mark's head knew only that Jaebeom was finally rimming him. Oh holy fucking Christ's balls and fucking batman too.

He keened as he threw his head back.

Jesus fucking Christ… His body was on fire. Holy fire-and-brimstone fire.

Mark arched back off the bed as Jaebeom's mouth covered his hole and his tongue pushed past his ring and all the way in.

Fuck yes.

He could feel the ache in his untouched cock and he wanted so much to touch himself, but he could only clench his hands on his thighs as he held them up with his hands. He could feel Jaebeom's fingers skimming his tight balls, his tongue dipping in low, taking it slow, and he could only gasp for air as his chest constricted against the dull ache that filled his body.

This was the total opposite of blissed out - this was the awareness of everything fucking holy. He could feel everything-everything; - Jaebeom's hands, his tongue, his nose, his lips, his breath - everything.

And it was great.

"Oh-h-h-h fuck," he felt his body roll up, hips rising, back arching off the bed as Jaebeom's tongue delved in, teasing him. Jaebeom's hands pulled him back down on the bed, his mouth dipping in, his lips sucking, holding him firmly on the bed before once again his boy would tongue him. _Fuck_ . Mark could feel every inch of that man's tongue sliding inside him and it felt so hot, so slick, and so fucking good. His tongue dipped in and out, and he swirled around and Mark could feel every part of his sensitised ring giving in to Jaebeom's questing tongue. His legs shook and he could feel his entire lower half just giving in to whatever his man wanted as Jaebeom's hands spread him wide. He groaned. This was beyond his fucking wildest dreams. God, he loved it when he was rimmed. Mark never felt more exposed yet worshipped and protected as he did when he was being rimmed. And - _holy fuck_ \- he cried out as the boy pushed further in and he felt it sliding against his inner walls - Jesus Christ, the boy was good at this.

As Jaebeom slid his tongue out, Mark could feel his hole clenching around nothing and he whined at the feeling of emptiness. He felt lubed up fingers into the hole that Jaebeom had opened with his tongue… Oh my motherfucking god, yes. _Yes._ Mark felt he was going to die and it would be at the hands and mouth of this beautiful boy. Mark was good with that.

He felt Jaebeom pulling away and he heard himself whine… and when his boy came back for him, it was to pull him up to sit on the edge of the bed, and his boy's cock was lined up all ready for him to sit on. Oh fuck. Oh _fuck_. And then Jaebeom pushed up into him and Mark felt so full of cock and of Jaebeom that he couldn't think straight and he wasn't sure if he was even breathing anymore. It was so fucking good. Everything was all about the cock in his ass, hot and buried deep. Fuck yes. He doesn't recall how he got naked, only that he was, for Jaebeom was biting on his shoulder, causing Mark to shudder at the feel and then his boy pulled him down on his hard hard cock and he could only grunt as words failed him. He searched frantically for Jaebeom's mouth, for something to ground him and he sucked hard on the younger man's tongue, searching for something, anything to stop him from flying apart at the seams…

Then there was Jaebeom's hoarsely whispered, "Fuck this" and then Mark knew nothing save his hands clutching the bed behind him, arms ramrod straight as he braced himself against the welcome onslaught of fucking as his boy - his fucking beautiful boy - rammed up harder and faster into him and he could only hold his legs up, splay his knees wide, as his cock hit hard against his lower abs in rhythm with Jaebeom's pounding into his ass. He cried out from the pain in his cock, the ache in his balls, the pleasure in his ass, then he was feeling himself hurtle toward his orgasm as Jaebeom thrust hard into him, his dick pulsating as he came inside him and pushed Mark into his own orgasm. He shook with the force, cum spurting in thick ropes over his stomach and chest before he fell back on the bed, heart pounding fiercely, his lungs on fire as he gasped for breath. He clasped his boy's head as he fell onto Mark's chest. As he ran his hand through his lover's damp hair, he could only stare at the ceiling with wide eyes as he thought frantically, _Oh my god, I'm in fucking love. Oh my god, fuck no!_

* * * * *

It was when Jaebeom had Mark half naked, lying on the bed and Jaebeom was licking his balls, his taint, and finally eating him out, his tongue delving into his man that Jaebeom may have inadvertently identified the emotion that was going through his heart.

 _Fuck_.

Love.

He was falling in love with Mark.

Shit.

Goddamn it.

Screw it.

He heard the little moans, the gasps, the tiny puffs of "please, Jaebeom" as the small pleas filled the air. He could hear himself silently pleading, _Let me love you. Let me fuck you_ . He could feel his toes curling as he felt the shudders that rocked his lover, the trembling in the limbs above his head; his own hands shook as they touched and teased, but most of all he could feel the whirling maelstrom of emotions in his stomach that was crying to be let out. _Love. Love. You fucking love that man._

 _Yes._ He pushed lubed up fingers into the hole he had opened with his tongue… _Yes._ He roughly pulling at his pants so he could free his cock and it was when he pulled the other man to half-sit on the edge of the bed, lining up his cock so he could push up into him and he'd entered that welcoming warmth, that tight heat that he felt the words rising and threatening to come out.

He made short work of the remains of Mark's clothing, pulling them off his body, making him entirely naked and bare in front of him. He sank his teeth down on the man's neck, shoulder, pulled Mark hard down onto him as he pushed up, ramming his cock harder into the grunting man, grateful to the other man when he pulled Jaebeom's head to suck hard on his tongue and bite at his lip.

And that was when Jaebeom felt the crack in his heart as he thrust hard up into Mark… _fuck this - I love this. I love you. Fuck I'm screwed._

He thrust hard, making Mark cry out and throw his head back - a beautiful picture he presented to Jaebeom - the blond's hands flying back to brace back on the bed behind him, the older's hard cock bobbing against his stomach, legs spread wide apart, receiving the fast and hard thrusts from Jaebeom until Jaebeom - with his heart once repaired already - came inside the older man with a roar of ecstasy, pain and anguish, "Mark!" and tears leaked out from the corners of his eyes.

And one beautiful blond Mark Tuan answered with a high-pitched keening cry, moaning erratically as he released up between them, white cum roping up between them to paint themselves on their chests and stomachs.

As Mark fell back on the bed, breathing hard, Jaebeom lay his head down on his man's chest, uncaring of the cum sliding down his lover's - that's right, _his_ lover's - body, hearing the wild thumping of his man's heart, but it could in no way compare to the wildly beating pace of his own heart.

_Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark. Mark._

Fuck, he was in love. He was fucking screwed because his flight left in a little over fourteen hours. And he may never see this man again… It took less than a heartbeat for Jaebeom to think, fuck that for a fucking joke - he determined that he'd fly back for this man if he would let him. Fuck it all.

"Jaebeommie?" A soft hand tenderly ran fingers through his hair. He stayed holding onto that lean torso, a few tears escaping. He prayed it would be taken for sweat. He felt the kiss on the top of his head. "Let's go have a shower." He nodded, not trusting himself to answer. He slowly pulled out, and got to his feet, and helped the other man up. He held him close for a moment before moving them silently to the bathroom.

He turned the water on, adjusting it to the temperature he knew Mark liked, and helped the other man in before climbing in himself. Once in, he began to wash the other man, sliding his hands over Mark's lean body, leaving no patch unclean, no part untouched, like a cat wanting to mark him, scent him. He noticed Mark, too, was quiet. "Are you okay, Mark? I wasn't too rough on you?"

The older man shook his head and gave him a tired smile. "I'm sorry, I think I'm just a bit tired."

"Too tired to go out for the rest of today?"

"No, no, I just need to probably eat. We haven't eaten since Gotemba."

"Well, we better head out and feed you huh? Can't have a hangry Markie."

Jaebeom laughed as Mark hit him. Jaebeom pulled the slim figure close and held Mark as the water sluiced off their bodies, rinsing them clean. They stayed like that for a while until Mark's stomach reminded them they should probably get out. Jaebeom teased the other man while they dressed. Mark looked for snacks in the kitchen while Jaebeom finished packing his bags. Mark joined him as he was zipping up the last suitcase and threw a couple of things into his carry on. They sat down on the couch, summoning up the energy to move.

"I guess, this is almost end of our time, huh?" Mark's voice was deep and low. Jaebeom knew he'd forever remember the sound of his voice. He'd be able to pick it out of a crowd.

"I guess so." He tried to keep it light. It wasn't Mark's fault that Jaebeom fell for him after all and he didn't want Mark to feel pity for the tourist who came and fell in love with him. After all, it was his terms that Mark had followed for their short trip - 'Let's be a couple while we trip around' was probably the worst suggestion he'd ever made, or maybe it was the best? He would have to confirm that later - after consultation with his heart when he'd found all the pieces.

He watched as the blond bit his lip. "It's been fun, Jaebeom."

He took in the picture of Mark sitting there, his beautiful profile making his aesthetic heart ache with the perfectness of his face. His fingers ached for his camera. "It has, Mark. It's been really fun. Maybe..." He took a deep breath and said what was in his heart. "Maybe we could do this again soon." He didn't make it a question. He wanted it left as a statement - for Mark to mull over it, think about it, and maybe, just maybe, ask him to come back.

The soft press of his beautiful blond's lips against his cheek made his heart ache. "We haven't finished this one yet, Jaebeommie."

He eyed that beautiful man. _I'll miss you,_ Jaebeom wanted to say. Instead, he pressed his lips against the other's. He wanted to remember this. To know that he was wanted, to know that he was capable of loving again and to know that he was not broken after Jinyoung. This short relationship - it didn't end badly. It wasn't …Jinyoung. This was Mark. Mark Tuan. _His_ Mark Tuan… for what was left of tonight - Mark was his. "Well, let's go then," he nudged the other. "Let's go and see these places you keep raving about that I might have missed in your beautiful Yokohama."

He gripped the hand that Mark offered and got to his feet, smiling though his heart was aching. He could do this. _It was only ever supposed to be holiday romance._ Why then did his heart feel like he was letting go of something too precious, too good? He paused for a moment, staring at the blond. "Mark…"

"What, Jaebeom?"

_I think I love you._

He cracked a smile and swallowed both the words and the lump in his throat. "Nothing. Let's go."

He smiled genuinely at the other man's wide smile, allowing himself to pulled out the door and into the waiting corridor. They held hands as they got into the empty lift, Mark grinning his happy grin at Jaebeom. "In case I forget to say it later, thank you I had a great night."

"The night hasn't started…"

"I know - I j-j-just," Mark looked down at his shoes. He looked so small all of a sudden to Jaebeom. The other's voice was quiet as he said, "I just didn't want to forget. That's all."

Jaebeom felt a wrench in his chest. He stood looking at the older man, before impetuously leaning forward, grabbing the other man by the nape of the neck and pulling him forward to claim his lips in a soft kiss. "Thank you," he breathed as he pulled away a fraction. "For everything that has happened since I met you and for whatever happens tonight - thank you."

They had made their way out onto the streets of Yokohama. The sun was shining but low in the sky as evening was on its way and the main streets were busy as people were out enjoying the end of their weekend, but everyone and everything seemed to dull to a vague noise in the background as Jaebeom walked with Mark, hyper-aware of Mark's slim hand in his.

Mark took them to the Noodle Cup Museum, one of Yokohama's attractions, just so Jaebeom would be able to talk about the attractions he'd seen when he went home. It touched him that Mark would consider what the future held for Jaebeom when he got home. He let himself believe for a moment it was because Mark had been thinking of them as a future. He gripped the other man's hand through the streets as they walked down to the Red Brick Warehouses, ambling through the teaming buildings hand in hand and mixing with tourists and locals as they walked around.

They wandered through, pointing out things to one another, but it was mainly Mark pointing out bits and pieces to Jaebeom so that he would remember Yokohama. He didn't think he would ever forget it - because he would never forget Mark.

* * * * *

They were on the streets of Yokohama. It reminded Mark of their first meeting in Yokohama when he had teased Jaebeom about stalking him.

He threw an arm around Jaebeom as nostalgia overtook him. No matter where they met, nor for how long their interaction was -- each time they had met... Mark had been left with a feeling of aching, of having let something go that he should have held onto. He'd quashed it down as best he could until he couldn't anymore. When Jinyoung happened, he knew he'd been given an opportunity and he took that what was offered on a plate and he had held onto that.

And now he'd had what was on the plate, he wasn't sure if he could let it go.

He walked with Jaebeom, not feeling inclined to go into stalls they passed, just content to be as they were. Jaebeom seemed to be the same. They did stop at the food stalls and purchased some street food, stopping outside the Red Brick Warehouse near the special Yokohama buses to eat. Mark found that he couldn't stop touching Jaebeom, be it hand or shoulder or arm touching  - the younger man had to be in Mark's personal space at all times. Clingy much? He snorted to himself. He couldn't help it. In so many ways, they fit together and it wasn't the usual 'they fit together because you pushed that square peg into the round hole, and shaved and hammered the crap out of it to make it fit' kind of shit. This was a custom-built, designed for Mark Tuan only perfect fit relationship. Relationship? He guessed that this weekend interlude was a kind of relationship. But it was going to end in a little over fourteen hours or so - give or take an hour or two. Whatever it was - he was almost crying at the unfairness of having it taken away from him so soon. He never thought it would get to a point where he would be wondering if he should find out whether the man lived in Korea or not.

He looked out over the water, as they sat on the seats out in Rinko Park, people watching, just leaning into one another. Mark could feel Jaebeom thinking heavily beside him. He wondered what the man was thinking about and whether he was also bothered by the upcoming end. But he guessed that he and Jaebeom had set out the terms at the beginning, and it was supposed to be no strings attached, let whatever happen happen and let it grow or die organically so maybe Jaebeom wasn't where Mark was at - thinking and feeling all the things that he wasn't supposed to be thinking or feeling. He sighed. Feelings weren't supposed to be part of this. He had thought he could keep his feelings out of it. But no, he had to grow attached. He had to grow ' _feels.'_ He made a face at his thoughts.

He looked out, gazing unseeingly as the light started to fade from the sky and the sun started its journey to slide down beyond the horizon. They walked on, Jaebeom pulling on Mark's hand and Mark followed, feet walking them around the water's edge, and it wasn't long before they found themselves standing at the bottom of the Landmark Tower.

He looked up at the distinctive building. He had always loved the view from here. And he wanted to share it with Jaebeom before he left. It was one of the views that he had held in his mind and he hoped that it would be the same for Jaebeom.

"Want to come to the 69th floor with me? Feel like going up?" Mark asked impulsively. Jaebeom looked at him with a start before he started to snigger. Mark looked at him, wondering what was so funny. "What?"

"You want to take me to the 69th floor?"

"Yes…?"

He was confused when Jaebeom arched his brow at him questioningly and asked, "Is this code for something?"

"What? No…?"

"Mark - come one! Sixty-nine?!" Someone walking past sniggered at Jaebeom's exclamation.

"There's the Sky Garden on the 69th floor." Mark felt like he was being ultra slow on the uptake. A light bulb went off in his head and his ears flushed with embarrassment. Oh my god. He'd just asked Jaebeom if he'd wanted to 69 with him. "What are you - twelve years old?" he muttered, grumpy at being laughed at.

Jaebeom laughed. "Yes. Mentally. It doesn't matter the language, it will always be laughable material. I mean, come on, it's 69, soixante-neuf, yuggu."

He felt Jaebeom's hand on the nape of his neck, slapping it lightly. "Come on, you dimwit. Let's go up to this 69th floor you want to take me to." He leaned in and breathed into Mark's ear, "I bet it's not as crazy fun as what I pictured in my head though." Mark's jaw dropped open at Jaebeom's comment and his brain went crazy wild with images. _Fuck how many times in one day can you be turned on by one man?_ He walked after Jaebeom, hoping no one would notice the awkward way he was walking - he and his cock needed to have a talk about when was a good time to sprout wood.

As they stood in the lift, they unconsciously leaned against one another. The lift dinged and they stepped out. Surprisingly, the 69th floor was almost empty and they wandered over to the windows and stood in peaceful quiet as they gazed over the beautiful harbour with its fading light as the sun began its descent. Jaebeom took his camera out before he pulled Mark into the circle of his arms, taking photos even though he held Mark, and Mark pressed his lips against the younger man's jutting jaw as the sun went down and tucked his head under the other man's chin, watching as the last tendrils of the sun's rays disappear out of sight, listening to the shutter of the camera clicking away.

"That was worth it," he heard Jaebeom say above his head. "It may not have been what I was expecting, but it was beautiful nonetheless."

Mark smiled. He had hoped Jaebeom would see the same beauty as he himself did. "I love it here. I love that view. The only one comparable would be on the Ferris Wheel in Cosmo World."

"We'll have to do that too then. Compare, contrast."

"True. Let's do it when it's truly dark though. The lights of Yokohama make it something special."

They made their way back to the lift and outside again and walked around until they were standing on Pukari-san Bridge, pausing again to stare out at the dark sea. They argued over which was better - the view at night or in the day.

"It's so different at night. You miss the details found in daylight."

"But it's more mystical at night. You can feel the hint of what it might offer in the darkness. The darkness often surprises you with what can come out of it."

"But daylight shows you how big it is, and gives you an accurate representation of what it has to offer."

"Why does everything you say to me sound so dirty?"

"Because your brain is wired that way?"

"Hey!"

"What? You understood instantly what my friend texted me, you just laughed earlier about the 69th floor… you are so definitely wired that way."

He laughed as Jaebeom shook his head at his arguments.

Jaebeom peeked at him and smirked, "Okay, that's fair."

Mark grabbed his hand and started to pull him away from the water's edge. "Let's head up to Cosmoworld. That's the Ferris Wheel with the clock that we talked about. You said you wanted to go and you missed it last time because of ... well, me," Mark laughed softly as he recalled why. "I didn't realise you cut your Yokohama trip short because of my invite to dinner with Taec and me."

"You mean, your invitation to stalk you."

Mark raised a brow and smirked smugly. "Well you did stalk me, so I think you just outed yourself there as my stalker."

Jaebeom huffed as he grinned, realisation dawning on his face at what he had just admitted to. "Just that one time." He wagged a finger at Mark.

"So you keep saying… I don't believe you, but hey… " Mark shrugged before he smiled, sadness colouring his tone because he would miss teasing Jaebeom like this. He felt his smile wobble and took a breath. Jaebeom smiled at him, too, but Mark felt it was a sad smile, like he, too, was sad.

Mark stopped, eyes searching the other man's face. "Hey, baby. We both knew that this was going to end, Jaebeom," he said, lifting a hand to caress the cheek of the younger, feeling the man lean into his palm. "Hey, let's just be together and make it a good night to remember, huh?" The younger boy shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded. Mark sighed and wrapped his arms around him. "We still have tonight - all of tonight," he whispered. He felt the other one also sigh before he nodded against Mark's shoulder. Mark pulled away, bending down to peer at the other's face. "Let's go, okay?" He took hold of the younger's hand, and they made their way toward the Cosmo clock, knowing that the clock was ticking down for their time to end.  


* * * * *

His heart was aching at the thought he would have to let his man go. Something shifted over the course of ten days whether they were aware of it or not, and now Jaebeom could feel the tenuousness of what they had grown over the past 48 hours. He resisted the urge to blurt out his feelings to Mark; choosing instead to let his thoughts roll around in his head as they meandered through the streets of Yokohama.

They made their way through the streets to Cosmoworld, taking selfies under the Cosmo Clock. Jaebeom laughed at Mark as he made the goofiest of faces. They took more vids than photos, wanting to upload them to sns and share with friends.

They lined up for the Ferris Wheel, wanting to share that experience together, but also wanting a mount alone while still being in the crowd. It added something to their trip - a little bit of nostalgia to look back on. They rode it to the top, holding one another, exchanging soft kisses as they took in the sight of Yokohama Harbour with its twinkling lights at night. Jaebeom never ending with his picture taking also took photos of Mark against the background of Yokohama Harbour.

At the bottom, they took photos in the love seat with the gigantic heart - all cheese and heart eyes - at least from Jaebeom's side. They fed one another crepes and ice cream and custard before they linked fingers and wandered slowly down whatever streets took their fancy. They made their way down to Chinatown, shared dumplings and noodles, skewered meats with rice before they decided to head back to the apartment.

It was a bittersweet four hours that took them into the night and heading up in the lift to Taecyeon's apartment, he could feel the overwhelming oppression of their last few moments together.

"Mark…" the press of lips against his stalled any words. He silently acknowledged Mark's disinclination to talk, choosing instead to follow his lead and make their way in silence to the apartment.

Opening the door, they both stood in the doorway for a moment, breathing shallowly before one of them, he couldn't recall which, took a step forward into the foyer that heralded the start of one very long goodbye.

The door closed behind them, they took off their shoes and they made their way into the living room. It was the silence that unnerved him. It was the look in Mark's eyes. It was the weight in his chest at all the unsaid things… and then Mark's fingers were stroking the side of Jaebeom's neck, his lips were pressed firmly against his lips and Jaebeom slid his arms around the man's waist to pull the slim man into his body. _We fit so well._

Mark leaned back against the circle of his arms, looking at him with sadness. It that made Jaebeom's heart clench with pain. Were they both feeling this anxiousness, this pain of not wanting to let go? He stared at him too.

Mark bit his lip, before pulling back, letting his hand trail down Jaebeom's arm and pulling him wordlessly toward the bed. Without saying a word, they both undressed, taking their time to undress one another, exchanging soft reluctant-to-let-go kisses, passionate remember-me kisses, and, in Jaebeom's case, small heartfelt I-think-I-love-you-I-wish-I-could-tell-you kisses, until they were both naked.

Mark held up a finger and walked away, Jaebeom's eyes following him and seeing him locate the lube from earlier.

He watched as the man walked unabashedly unashamed toward him, his cock swaying as he walked. Jaebeom knew that he would recall that long lithe figure in his memories forever. He held his breath as Mark stopped to throw the lube on the bed before with a soft sigh, the elder closed the distance between them, stepping into his personal space. It was another soft sigh that heralded his lover's lips on his, and he wrapped his arms around the slim back, pulling Mark into the curve of his body. He felt the slide of skin on skin, and it was heavenly. A profusion of feelings flooded his body - excitement, anticipation, want, love. He touched his lips to Mark's, gliding effortlessly into the fast-coming familiar dance of their tongues and revelling in the familiar taste of his mouth as they each let their lips speak for them. He nibbled on Mark's lower lip, swiped the inside with his tongue, running a wet tip of tongue along the length before sliding back in to slide slickly against that smoothness of Mark's tongue.

He welcomed the touch of his lover on his naked skin. The barely-there touch of those slim fingers trailing up his back, and the overwhelming amount of feelings that grew in him made him jerk and groan against the other man - the excitement; the want; the sheer anticipation of what this night would bring. As Mark's fingers traced the line of his spine, Jaebum revelled in the feelings coursing through him and his torso rolled at his elder's touch, pushing very part of his abs and chest against the other. _Mark_ . Their lips parted and they pressed hard against each other, Mark's warm breath at his ear sending a current through his body to earth at his feet. Lips - soft lips - that he'd grown oh-so-familiar with brushed his neck, adding another current to shoot through him, his nipples tightening and hardening with want. _Mark_.

Moaning, he arched his head, silently requesting for more from his man; he needed to let Mark lead this because he couldn't; his brain had stopped. Fingers gripped his shoulders. A warm chest against his front. A tongue dipped delicately into the curve behind his ear and glided down the line of his neck. He groaned out Mark's name before the elder covered his mouth and swallowed the rest of his moans. His hands came up to hold the back of Mark's head, prolonging the kiss and holding the man... just there - right there - oh god just there.

He pulled back, breathing sharply as sharp spikes of awareness made their way down his chest, gathering into a swirling maelstrom in the pit of his stomach, causing his body to ache with all the feels. He dipped back into the blond's neck, tongue lapping against the man's soft skin, the long beautiful neck and sucked on the lobe of his ear, feeling the shivers that rocked through the slender man. His hand pressed again the man's back, pulling him into Jaebeom's body, and Jaebeom could feel every inch of skin where Mark's body touched his. He groaned as all sorts of feelings threatened to explode from him. _Fuck, Mark. Fuck._

The cooler night air moved around them, adding to the already overwhelming stimulus of their skin on skin contact. Instinctively, he moved his body closer to his man, palming one cheek of his ass, sliding it down to pull one leg to wrap around his hip. Mark groaned against him, his head leaning onto Jaebeom's shoulder as the younger hand caressed the curve of Mark's ass.

Mark's palm clutched the curve of his neck, his breath washing over his collar, causing Jaebeom to shiver and arch his head back. Mark's mouth roved over his skin, from his shoulder to his collar, blazing a trail that left Jaebeom breathless, shuddering and sighing, his head falling to one side. _Jesus, Mark. This is torture._ Involuntarily, he jerked his hips in response and he heard the chuckle against the curve of his throat. _Evil man._ Pulling his head upright, he tightened his grip on the blond's ass, giving a smirk of his own as the elder's head dropped back, his mouth agape and a gasp left those parted lips. Those slim hips rocked against Jaebeom's hold. He felt a small thrill of victory. He lifted the man to wrap both the legs around his body, causing a small yelp to leave the slimmer man. He crashed his lips to Mark's, leaving no room for the other to go, and the hunger in the other man as he responded made Jaebeom harder than before.

His cock ached. He could feel Mark's between them. He moved his fingers as he held the man's ass cheeks in his palms, brushing his fingers against the edges of his man's rim, feeling the answering clench and the jerk of his body. _Fuck, Mark. I want you…_ He moved them to the bed, laying the man down gently on his back. He crawled on after him.

He lay down next to him, facing him, their cocks touching. He hears the gentle laugh at his earnestness before one hand stirred, shifting from his hip to trail casually, almost lazily, along the line of his waist, drawing insolent little circles upon his skin towards his cock. A soft moan left his parted lips, the rush of pleasure that accompanied it was intense, he shuddered shakily while his legs shook. He hooked one leg over the other man's pulling himself closer.

Both of the slim man's hands moved, the soft pads of the elder's fingertips sliding gradually, indolently in an upward direction. They brushed lightly against the hardened nipples on Jaebeom's chest. He drew in a tight breath. And when those sensitised nubs were teased one again, he threw his head back, gripping his lover's hips him as he rocked his own hips, seeking relief.

He felt a breath in his ear as Mark questioned lowly, "Ready for more, Jaebeommie?" before Mark's hand glided down, lingering agonisingly over each dip and hollow before he felt it brush against his length. As the warm fingers wrapped around his hard cock, an arm snaked his waist pulled him into the curve of his man's hips. Gasping at the simultaneous feel of Mark's hand sliding down his erect length and Mark's hard cock being placed between his legs, touching against his balls, he could not help but cry out.

"Oh fuck.... Mark..."

He held fast to Mark's hips, as the man's thumb rubbed over his slit, slicking the head and length of his cock with his pre-come and sliding smoothly into Jaebum's instigated rhythm caused by the rocking of his hips. Jaebum moaned indistinctly, his hips rolling rhythmically aiding the elder's hand along his cock. He ground hard against Mark. A muffled groan against his skin and a lust-filled sharp thrust against him was Jaebum's reward. And Mark pushed his hips violently against him, thrusting harder in his own eagerness, and Jaebeom heard the unrestrained moans and incoherent whispers as they filled the air - Mark's stiff cock sliding against his flushed and hot skin. _Hot fuck damn._ Jaebeom can feel the build up within himself and he knew he was not far from cumming.

Quickly, he thrust his hands into the blond's hair. Jaebeom attacked him with both his tongue and his hard cock - one exploring the depths of his sweet mouth - lapping, tasting, dipping, touching; the other - grinding, thrusting, moving, sliding. He pulled Mark with his own leg up over his hip, tugging the man with his strong thigh, encouraging the man with a heated stare to continue moving against him. He felt Mark's cock sliding against his taint, his balls so deliciously and he rocked back against that silken length while those slim fingers fisted his cock. This was the best of both worlds.

He tilted his hips to make the angle benefit them both as their cocks slid against one another's skin. Fuck, the friction is heavenly. The feel of Mark's cock made Jaebeom dig his heel into the blond's ass, pulling him further against him. His pre-come was flowing, creating a slickness between them. They both groaned.

With quiet desperation in his voice, he muttered, "Please.... Mark ... let me feel you cum against me. Cum with me."

"Fuck," was the heated panting response. "I want you, Jaebeom."

It sent delicious shivers snaking down his spine, and he wanted nothing more than to throw this man onto his back and fuck him senseless.

Instead, his chin was grasped gently, tugged lightly forward and lips swept heatedly across his, causing them to part and allowing Mark entrance. Desperately, the blond's tongue snaked inside, Jaebum responding with equal desperation and want.

Desire-filled eyes stared at him from his blond man as Mark coaxed him onto his back on the bed, and all too soon, Mark's body is sliding over him. Jaebeom forgets everything else around him.

Every morsel that is his beautiful blond man moved against him - slowly, sensually, deliciously - a rough caress as skin slid its way up his sensitised body.

Faintly, he felt Mark's hands move softly against the side of his face, fingers tracing his brow, the line of his cheek, to slide unerringly to the corner of his mouth before tugging insistently at his lips. A breathy whisper emerged as Mark's finger traced the line of his bottom lip before gently pushing into his mouth and Jaebum is compelled to wrap his lips around it. He wound his tongue around his Mark's finger, savouring the feel of it inside him.

Jaebeom's senses sing as he felt the silky smoothness of Mark's body, the warm breath that brushed over his skin, the scent of Mark that filled his nose as the man muttered nonsensical whispers that spoke desire, of want, and to Jaebeom's ears, love.

A deep groan from Mark sounded in the air and Jaebum can feel Mark's hard cock pressing against his own length and Jaebeom cannot help but rock his hips, creating the most delicious friction against both their cocks.

"Fuck, Jaebeommie..."

He saw the darkening of Mark's eyes with the force of his want. A responding current ran through him in answer. He grasped Mark's chin with one hand, capturing his lips in a bruising kiss and the swirling maelstrom threatened to burst as their tongues slid sinuously against one another.

_Fuck but Mark tasted so fucking good…_

Mark keened into the silence, desperately seeking more friction from him and Jaebeom leaned over to grab the lube, pouring some onto their cocks and smoothing it over them. Mark's hips jerked at the stimulation and he groaned, making Jaebeom gasp and bite into the man's shoulder.

" _Jaebeom_." The gasp of his lover in his ear made him harder and he rocked against Mark faster and more forcefully. The other man also rocked himself, falling into the same rhythm. He pulled back, breathing heavily. God, he wanted Mark so fucking desperately.

"Hold on babe - I got to get on you. You want that, don't you?" At the man's low moans, he laughed lowly, giving his tongue a final flick with his own before turning both over and straddling him. He prepped himself, quickly, knowing from experience how to quickly get himself stretched enough so it would only hurt for a moment. He felt Mark sliding his hand on his cock, giving him some much need stimulation to negate away the pain. _Fuck._ He rocked back on his fingers, feeling the other man's hand gliding over his sensitive cock and he groaned, arching his neck. Oh my god, he could come like this.

"Stop baby. You need to be on my cock." He groaned as the elder stilled his hips, but he knew he was right. He pulled his fingers out, feeling himself clenching on nothing and almost crying at the want to be filled. Slow and careful, he angled himself so he could slide himself slowly onto the other man's cock; feeling the head slide beyond the tight ring of muscle and he stopped, feeling the burn as his ring stretched around that head, and he groaned before he slammed himself down, Mark's dick feeling hot as it pierced him. Mark arched up beneath him. "Jaebeommie!" sending frissons of hot excitement through him; Mark's cock filled him as it bottomed out within him. He gasped and moaned loudly and long as he ground down further onto that waiting cock, the other man's hand tight on his hips, guiding him and his voice was suddenly choked off as he reached all the way down to the base, his balls pushed against the pubis of the older and he ground down in that motherfucking hardness. "Fuck Mark," he gasps. "Fuck. Oh fucking God." He lifted up and he felt the other man's hips rock up to meet him and it drove the other man deep into him, filling him entirely.

"You look so good Jaebeom. So good on my cock." Mark's hands gripped tightly at his hips. The younger one's mouth dropped open as Mark's cock thrust hard against his prostate. Jaebeom let out a keening wail as he shivered hard, feeling himself coming undone around the man's cock.

The older man gasped sharply, sliding down his legs to hold tightly to his thighs. "Fuck," Mark groaned his eyes closed tightly relishing the feeling, "you are so damn tight, so fucking good."

Jaebeom felt fucked. He was filled with that beautiful cock, and all he wanted was to ride him to orgasm, finding his release as Mark held him. He whined as Mark stayed still.

Mark snapped his eyes open, his eyes intense. "Ride me, baby boy," he growled.

The small pants, the soft cries filled the air until "Fuck Mark!" Jaebeom was cumming between them, his cock spurting out ropes of cum and his balls were spasming uncontrollably.

Mark cried out, arching back, his hand coming down to force Jaebeom to continue moving, Mark's hand against Jaebeom's still cumming cock. He slid his ass along the man's still hard cock, hearing the rumbling groans in the blond's throat, felt the tension in the man's body against his, the muscles bunching taut until with a harsh strangled groan Mark came, his cock twitching as white pearls of cum painted the inside of his walls and he felt him pulse deep with him and he shuddered as Mark milked him dry.

* * * * *

Mark swore there were stars in front of his eyes as he came down from his violent orgasm inside his boy. He murmured, words indistinguishable.

"Hush…" Jaebeom quietened him, a hand brushed the hair back from his hot, flushed and sweat-filled face.

"We haven't even started yet, love. We have all night to go," there was promise in Jaebeom's words.

Mark smiled and lay in the man's arms, welcoming the little kisses, Jaebeom was planting along his jaw.

Jaebeom held his promise and throughout the night he and Jaebeom continued to fuck and screw until somewhere in that time, it turned to making love, where it was sweet and slow and achingly tender. Mark cried as he came for the umpteenth time with Jaebeom's cock buried deep inside him, burning him slowly from the inside out. Later, he keened as he slow fucked his boy, holding him tenderly and sweetly as he shuddered his way to another mind blowing orgasm inside him. And he watched as Jaebeom cried out as he thrust up into Mark's body, cumming deep inside him as Mark rode him to orgasm.

It was enough for them to be together and when they fell asleep curled into one another's arms, Mark's body was blissfully aching. He had no doubt that Jaebeom's was too.

By the time he woke up in the morning, Jaebeom had left… leaving Mark a note and a phone number. And a picture of him with his hand on his erect dick with 'come and get it' written on it and a Korean address. Mark silently thanked Taecyeon for having a polaroid camera on the bedside table as he stared at the sinfully beautiful photo his holiday lover, hard just for him. And then he continued to stare at it as tears slid down his face, tear staining the pillow beneath him.

* * *

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How you doing there? I teared. I liked that they caught feelings, in spite of telling themselves they wouldn't. I didn't like that Jaebeom left without saying a proper goodbye. Now, I'm going to go wallow for a bit because I'm crying with Mark.
> 
> Tell me - what did you like the most? What didn't you like? Did you cry with Mark?


	18. Under A Lovers Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So what happens after the romantic holiday fling ends? Do you chase after it? Do you let it go? Jaebeom is now back home. Mark is now left behind in Japan. What do they each want?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay... got a little caught up with IRL world and well, it didn't leave much time for working on this. I have got a few chapters ready to post so get ready for a few updates over this week. Then I'll be at LA and Houston concerts so updates may be delayed!

* * *

 

Jaebeom felt as if he was going to throw up from sheer nervousness as he sat on the flight home. He leaned his head back against the headrest, his eyes squeezed tightly shut and his fingers gripping the armrest. He must have looked scared, for the passenger to his right leaned over and asked if he was okay. He nodded and released the armrest, breathing deeply. His nervousness wasn't from flying - oh, no, far from it; it was from knowing that he had left Mark his own personal calling card.

Jaebeom shook his head in disbelief at himself.

He couldn't believe he'd done that - left a very incriminating photo with his personal details all over it with a cheesy AF message: 'Come and get it.' _Really, Jaebeom?_ He shook his head again; he really had to question his flirting game. That was so incredibly lame. He wouldn't blame Mark for not chasing him after that. He was glaring at his seat's screen when the seatbelt sign dinged and turned off, signalling the levelling off of the plane.

He huffed as he pulled out his travel book, still annoyed with himself, but careful to open it to the bookmark he was using. He snuck a look at the polaroid he had stolen of Mark, looking wrecked and blissed out. His body surged with the feeling of want. He slammed the book closed and squeezed his eyes shut again. Damn polaroids. He urged his dick to calm down and not think of the blond.... naked… blissed out, fucked out by him. _Fuck_. He could feel his dick stiffening and his balls tightening. He swore lowly, his mind slowly paraded each and every one of Mark's polaroids that he'd stared at that morning before he'd picked the one that he used as a bookmark now. Now his body was cursing him for being so far away from Mark. This was going to be a long flight. He gripped the armrest again until his knuckles were white. He ignored the concerned tension emanating from his seated neighbour.

* * * * *

Mark wanted to laugh at how cute that message was that Jaebeom had left him. Instead, he grinned quietly, his mouth quirked insolently on one side, looking down at Jaebeom's picture. _Come and get it -_ Mark snorted as he spooned another mouthful of food into his mouth and chortled in his head. Jaebeom had made Mark laugh with that really fucking cheesy line. It was _cute_. _He_ was cute. His _Jaebeommie_ was _cute_. It made Mark want to squeal with how cute he found Im Jaebeom, but he reined it in. _Tuans did not squeal._ But still, he did a quiet little dance in his chair as his eyes were drawn to that message. He laughed at himself. _Pathetic, Tuan, pathetic._ He shook his head, laughing quietly as his fingers swiped the piles of photos in front of him. Damn, they had gotten carried away with Taecyeon's camera. There were photos of Jaebeom, photos of Mark, but nothing warmed his heart as much as the one that Jaebeom had chosen to write his message on. He carried on eating his breakfast, his lips curling into a smile, a warmth in him that had nothing to do with the sun streaming in through the windows of the apartment and everything to do with the _cute_ man in the many photos scattered on the table in front of him. He would never regret this trip to Japan - ever. He hummed as he chewed, eyes flicking through the photos once more.

* * * * *

Jaebeom opened the door to his apartment, noting the sun shining through the windows, the air still and heavy, and the place quiet. He slid off his shoes, slipped on his slippers and padded around, wheeling his luggage in. A shuffle down the hallway told him the cats had been alerted to his presence "Ah, there you are," he smiled as his cats came barreling out to greet him. He promptly sat on the floor and let them climb excitedly over him, their tails whipping up a frenzy and their purrs sounding like a band of tractors. He pushed his face into Odd's fur, before scooping up Koonta and then it was Nora batting his face with her paw. Content, he let them climb over him as they nudged at him. Ahh - he had missed his babies. He cuddled Nora and let her nuzzle his chin with her nose. It reminded him of Mark and his tendency to nuzzle Jaebeom after cumming and he could feel the blush crossing his cheeks. Even though he was alone, Jaebeom buried his face into Nora's coat, to hide his red face. He really hoped that Mark liked cats.

* * * * *

Mark felt the blush stealing across his face as he held _that_ photo in his hand, peering at the man - again - and oh, for fuck's sake, he was alone and he was still embarrassed to be staring at his man this way. It was that face; he loved that face. (Author: sure Mark, tell yourself you were staring at the face) Mark wondered if he had to stay in Japan for much longer because he really wanted to see that face in person again. He picked up his phone and dialled Jackson's number. Surprisingly, he didn't think he would ever be in the position to say he wanted to go back to Korea over Japan. He skipped over the fact that Jaebeom was now more memorable than Japan, instead focusing on wondering if Jaebeom really wanted to see him. Mark really hoped the younger man wanted to see him. He tapped the edge of the photo, staring at it avidly as he waited for Jackson to answer his call. Jaebeom was… _special_. He took a deep breath when Jackson answered his phone, "Gaga…"

* * * * *

Jaebeom looked through the photos on his computer, showing them to Nora as she sat on his lap. There was Mark with his beautiful profile pointed toward the sun; there was Mark smiling radiantly after their bungy; there was Mark in a soft contemplative moment in the car; there was Mark against the backdrop of the Hakone Venetian Glass Museum. There was Mark… Mark, Mark, Mark. Japan was Mark. Mark was Japan. If Jaebeom had one thing that he would be able to say about his trip around Japan, it would be that Mark looked good against any background. He would have loved to have taken Mark around that country during the autumnal change of season with the orange, yellows, reds, and browns. Mark would have been something else against that backdrop. "See," Jaebeom said softly to Nora as he chucked under her chin slightly, "this is Mark. He's special. He …" _could be your baby daddy_ , Jaebeom wanted to voice but was too scared to voice out loud. He stroked her fur, smiling contentedly when she purred and closed her eyes.  He glanced over and stared at the annoyingly dark screen of his phone. For God's sake, when was Mark going to call him? He leaned his head back and allowed his brain to wander and think of him, all the while still stroking Nora as she curled up on his lap.

* * * * *

Mark's fingers itched to call Jaebeom. The weight of his phone was burning in his back pocket. But he was still refraining. Refraining didn't stop the hot flush through his body as he thought of the dark haired man. Refraining didn't stop the blood from thrumming through his veins and causing him to be erect at the most inconvenient times. Like now. The coolness of the mirrored walls of the elevator pressed against Mark's back through his thin shirt, contrasting well with the heat through his body as he leant against the wall of the lift.

His eyes stared blankly at the numbers as they lit up on each floor. He felt a tightness in his chest… and in his pants. He grimaced. He'd taken a cold shower before journeying here.

He took a deep breath to calm himself down.

It resulted in a yawn, Mark's eyes tearing up slightly. He leaned back, waiting, blinking his eyes clear, while the numbers slowly increased before finally dinging its arrival at its destination and the lift doors opened. Pushing off the wall with some effort, he stepped out into an empty corridor. He jiggled his legs, adjusting his semi hard-on in his pants. _Down boy._ With a deep sigh, Mark turned decisively to the left, his sneakered feet even quieter on the plush carpet as he headed to Wooyoung's apartment.

Mark paused at the door; he could hear the murmur of voices. Ah, Taecyeon had arrived back. Mark hoped he'd got the snacks. Stepping inside, he saw both Taecyeon and Wooyoung on the couch talking to one another as he toed off his shoes. He stepped up into the apartment, feet silent against the wooden floor as he made his way into the kitchen area and dropping his items onto the kitchen bench. He waved as Wooyoung lifted his hand in acknowledgment and started the prep for their drinks as he had promised them both. Pulling out glasses and ice, he cut up lemons and poured out the whiskey. They say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, but Mark preferred to think of it as cut up the lemons, add some whiskey and sit back to contemplate the world while sipping on the whiskey sour. Which is precisely what he was about to do now with Taecyeon and Wooyoung.

He carried the drinks out and placed them on the small table in front of the men. It had already been several days since Jaebeom's departure and Mark was in a place to finally deal with the questions that he himself had been asking since the younger man left. He knew what they wanted to know. He's already spoken at length on video call before finally succumbing to their demands and heading over to Wooyoung's apartment.

The other two grabbed their drinks. "So Mark, what do you think you'll do?"

Mark sat down, grabbed his drink and deliberated quietly before answering. "I don't actually know the detail details. I have this more-than-vague idea I want to see him. Like I want more. Ish. Heavy on the -ish. I mean, I knew I liked him before we did that trip."

He took a sip, putting his drink down before continuing.

"Everytime we met, I was happy to see him. I didn't realise that I was falling for him, but I should have guessed when I leapt at the chance to spend time with him every time we crossed paths." Mark let out a soft sigh, slowly ripping up a random piece of paper with his hands and growing a small pile of paper debris on the small tabletop absentmindedly. He made a face. "I didn't think he'd want to see me again at the end of this. I mean, I had hoped, but I honestly didn't think... " He breathed, staring down, deep in thought.

He lifted his eyes to look at the other two, a slight frown marring his face. "But you know what was weird? I think he thought I lived here. In Japan. Like, I don't think I ever corrected him, but what if," Mark paused, giving his words some thought before expressing them, "... he gave me the address thinking it was safe to do so? I mean, if someone might come to visit one day sure I'd leave an address. But if they lived in the same country? I'd have to _really_ want to see them again to chance leaving an address behind. What if they became a stalker?"

"Says the man who looked up both Naver and Google Maps to see where the guy lives and if it has pictures on the internet," murmured Wooyoung.

"Well, I want to know he's from a good area," Mark said defensively. Wooyoung raised his glass in agreement.

"Sure," Taecyeon grinned knowingly, his dark eyes crinkling at the corner in mirth. " _That's_ why you looked it up."

Mark stuck out his tongue childishly, narrowing his eyes at the older man. "Whatever. You stalked me when we first started dating and you fully stalked Wooyoung when you started so-called 'dating'. I learnt it from you." The two older men exchanged a glance before bursting out into laughter as Mark pushed his point. He leaned back, holding his drink, waiting for the other two to calm themselves. "So yeah, I don't know if he really wants me to call on him or not. But then again… you know," he added, "I didn't expect the 'come and get it' message. So maybe, he does want me to go to him?"

"Oh yeah, that message was a surprise. Can I see it?"

Mark looked at him, aghast. "No! You know where it's written!"

"Aw… spoilsport." Taecyeon leaned back with a smug little smirk that Mark hated at that moment.

"You have a man to ogle! Go get him to undress and take photos of him!"

Wooyoung tsked and shook his head. "I still can't believe you took naked photos of your man with my camera."

"Well, in my defense, I thought it was Taecyeon's, not yours, Wooyoung," responded Mark dryly.

Wooyoung clasped one hand to his chest. "My camera is scarred for life."

"Well, what else was it by the bed for?" Mark quirked his head, thinking fast. His eyes widened. "You take a lot of bedroom photos together don't you?!" The two older men exchanged a glance and both their faces flushed. Mark chortled. "You do! Ha! What - naked? Tied up?"

"Shut up! Like you can talk…" Taecyeon's cheeks were awash with colour in embarrassment. "So do you have a plan?" he quickly changed the subject and Mark smirked, content to let it go - for now.

Mark shook his head. "I don't even have a 'P', let alone a 'plan'..." There was a long pause as they sat there, Mark chewing on his lip somewhat thoughtfully as he pondered on when exactly he was going to see Jaebeom again. How should he greet him? Hug him? Wave awkwardly? Kiss the bejesus out of him? Strip him naked and have his way with him - could be awkward if they were somewhere public. Maybe safer to go with a handshake.

"But you _do_ really want to see him again?" Wooyoung's voice broke through his wandering thoughts. Mark's brain was busy on a different tangent so the first thing he thought of in answer to Wooyoung's question was,  ' _Naked? Yes. Clothed - that would be temporary.'_ Mark's thoughts were flying away with him. Mark eyes quickly flew to Wooyoung, wondering if the older man could read his mind. Reassured that the other man wasn't reading his very sinful thoughts, Mark squeezed his eyes tightly before nodding. He opened them as he assured both men, "Yes, I do. I guess I really do - want to see him. I don't have high expectations or anything, but I want to see him." He took a breath. "I want to see where this goes. I get the feeling it's, like, you know, - something that could be amazing." He paused. "I get the feeling he's been through something big. I mean look at the way he wasn't handling his ex when we ran into him. I mean, _that_ was a bad breakup. You can tell. No one reacts like that to their ex without having been hurt. Jinyoung made the cut, not Jaebeom. And either pretty recent or it had spent some time being put aside and the wound was still fresh. I'm almost certain that Jinyoung and Jaebeom's break up was the catalyst for why Jaebeom turned up in Japan." He took a sip of his drink and grimaced a little at the burn. "But… " he swallowed hard, "I don't want to be 'rebound man' either though. I'm not going to be the fill-in for what he's missing or what issues he has left with his ex. This whole thing could be something good or it could be turning what had been great memories in Japan into something bad…"

It would hurt Mark too much if Jaebeom used him as the rebound guy and he moved on to someone else. It would make Japan and all it stood for in Mark's eyes bittersweet.

"Do you really think that?" Taecyeon asked quietly, serious face on. "That it could turn Japan into something sour? I know how much you love it here. Despite our bad breakup all those years ago, you loved everything about here. Do you think that being with Jaebeom might change that?"

Mark paused, thinking for a while about how and what he wanted to express. "No," he said finally, his eyes meeting Taecyeon's unwaveringly. "I don't. I don't think that. Not really. I'm just a bit scared that I'm going to destroy what I've built up in my head." Mark laughed deprecatingly, the feeling behind it making his laugh sound a bit high pitched and nervous. "I really like him, Taec. He's just fucking amazing."

"I get that from the look on your face and from the way you were so … _giddy_ from seeing him. It was like, oh _Daddy!_ "

"It was not," denied Mark hotly. 'Daddy' brought to mind Jaebeom and his Daddy kink. Mark grew flustered and hot. He knew his ears were burning brightly and would be bright red, giving him away, but he attempted to deny it anyway.

Taecyeon sniggered. "Yeah? Who was the one all tortured and stuff on my couch because of what the said or didn't say from seeing him in Yokohama?"

"That wasn't giddy; that was… " Mark backtracked at the skeptical look on both their faces. "Okay, yeah, it was." He had to concede the point. He had been a bit transparent - call him Mister Cellophane.

Taecyeon arched a brow and sat back smugly, sipping his drink. "When I'm right, I'm right."

Wooyoung reached across and slapped Taecyeon on the chest as Mark said, "Screw you," throwing the bits of paper at him, the two of them laughing as it rained down around the older man. Some of it went into the taller man's drink and set off Mark into gales of laughter at the man's scowl.

Even as he laughed, Mark was still busy thinking about him and Jaebeom. It wasn't Jaebeom leaving that caused Mark to cry when he had first held that picture - it was the overwhelming moment of realisation that he'd let a man walk away that he'd fallen in love with. It wasn't even actually the realisation - it was more that he had realised that even though he _had_ let the man walk away, the man had given him everything to find him again. It wasn't just a chance of fate to bring them back together; it was actually the man himself wanting to give them a chance to make this work. The tears had fallen freely as Mark realised with a slightly more than giddy feeling that he still could see his 'Jaebeommie', that there was still a future that would hold this man. What kind of future it was would be anyone's guess. He let out a sigh - a happy content, yet also apprehensive sigh. "I honestly think this might be something worth pursuing."

"Then chase it down." Wooyoung was pragmatic about it. "You won't be happy unless you try."

Mark nodded, a sudden lump at this thought. He swallowed hard. The idea of chasing after this man filled him with more than a touch of apprehension and a fear of rejection. The clink of ice in their glasses was the only sound for a while.

It was with a smirk and Taecyeon lifting his brows and challenging, "See if you can get him to wear only that bucket hat. And only that bucket hat… " that Mark finally felt courage overwhelming the fear.

Mark grinned back. He could do this. "I have to go home first. Jackson still has me working here. I just need the team to sort out the contractors and get the job started."

"So… hurry up so you get to go home. By the way, are you going to message or call him?"

"I will - wait, I think I will leave Mister Im cooling his heels for a while."

"You are so Japanese-brained right now."

"Hey! I need to focus on work and _then_ I can go home. I have a photo to entertain me in the meantime."

Taecyeon laughed, "And the internet…"

Wooyoung finished, "And your hand."

Taecyeon slapped his forehead with his palm. "You better have sanitised my entire house before I go home, Mark."

"Ew…"

  



	19. Where Are You Tonight?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom is left wondering when is Mark going to contact him. Mark is trying to sort out work so he can go chasing after Jaebeom. How long will Jaebeom wait before he moves on? Is it long enough for Mark to turn up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for Obliviouschyld for helping wrangle something coherent from the jumble that was my brain. and for helping me sort out how to split chapters...

* * *

_"So don't worry - we are perfectly fine without you. Relax, take the time to just chill out after your trip away."_

"Are you sure, Jisoo?" Jaebeom's voice came out easy going, but in reality, his fingers gripped the phone tightly, holding it in front of him as her disembodied voice floated out over speakerphone. He really couldn't stay at home with his thoughts for company. He hoped she didn't hear the desperate hope in his voice.

_"Yes, yes. I had everyone take over the projects that didn't need you, and the other clients were happy about being pushed out to a later date as long as they got you so there is nothing for you to do until next week anyway. I had built in an estimation of few weeks before things were back to normal after your leaving and it seems to have worked out that way. Don't rush back."_

"Thanks, Jisoo. You're amazing," he gritted out, making the effort to sound grateful, but inside he was like, _you stupid, overly-efficient, generously-paid dragonkeeper._ He jutted out his chin, at his end of the phone, more than slightly annoyed at not getting his way.

Almost as if she had heard his petulant childish thoughts… _"I know. That's why you pay me so much. I protect you from clients as well as yourselves. Have fun and enjoy the rest of the week off."_ Her voice changed to a no-nonsense brisk tone, _"You will be here well rested and refreshed, ready to start on the Lee Junho project."_ The is-that-clear was very clear in her tone before she ended sweetly, _"See you then, boss."_

He hung up the phone with a sigh of resignation, resisting the urge to poke his tongue out, and threw the phone onto the couch _._

_Grr… argh._

He paced around like a caged panther. Stupid employees who do their jobs really well. Jaebeom had finally pulled himself together and called work to see how things were going. He'd wanted to go in so he could stop thinking about the fact that Mark hadn't called him. Now his very efficient and effective receptionist slash personal assistant basically told him to shove off - he was not needed. Sure, it was okay when _he_ told her to tell people that kind of thing and fob them off and to smoothly talk them into an appointment the following week, but for her to fob _him_ off like that? 'It's fine but come in start of the following week - we have everything covered'  is the equivalent of 'don't worry your pretty little head about it.' Who was boss here? He faced the wall and banged his forehead in frustration. Nothing urgent, they said - perks of being boss, they said. Only left with his miserable circular thoughts - _Argh_ . _Argh_ . _Argh_.

"Stupid employees and their stupid efficiency syndrome and wanting to do a job well done. Who the fuck asked you to work so goddamn well?" he muttered darkly, knowing he only demanded the very best from his employees but nonetheless scowled as he threw himself on the couch and covered his face with his forearm.

_Dramatic much?_

He turned, pouting and curling into foetal position, wrapping himself around a cushion, holding it tightly against this chest muttering, "If Mark was here…" He stopped. If Mark was here Jaebeom wouldn't be having this problem. He curled upon himself, allowing himself to wallow in all his pouting glory. He'd flown back, gone into his apartment and then stayed there, shaken by the intensity of his feelings after leaving Mark. Even as he lay on the couch, he still couldn't believe that he'd left Mark without saying goodbye, despite promising the man that he could come out to the airport.

But in Yokohama, he'd woken up and panicked. He'd woken up, felt the rise and fall of the smaller man's breath, and he'd found himself choked up and tears slipping out to fall on the bed beneath him. His chest had been tight and he'd felt so overwhelmed that he couldn't bear the thought of prolonging the bittersweet ending of this short romance. _Goodbye Mark._ He had kissed the man on the forehead as he'd lain in his arms, and he'd held the older in his arms, breathing in his scent and praying that one day he would get this again soon. His lips had tingled with the feel of Mark's hair as he'd pressed them lightly yet firmly against the top of the blond's head, his arms were so sensitive to weight of the smaller man, and his body had wanted to slide up against that warmth and remember the feel of that body pressed against his during the throes of sex and passion. Throes of sex and passion. He snorted. Fucking - it was fucking. Except he knew it wasn't. It had changed to love, making sweet fucking love with all the feels and the gentle slides of tongue against tongue, and sweet gentle lips, and the agonising slow slide of body against body. The soft huffs of breath as they had each panted their way to their climax, chasing their individual and joint orgasms, using one another to get there, encouraging one another to peak and fall - fuck, it had been so bittersweet.

He leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling of his apartment. _Mark_ , his heart called.

He couldn't believe that he'd had something so fucking amazing and then left it behind. In many ways, he felt like he imagined Jinyoung to feel. Except Jinyoung didn't look like he regretted leaving him. Jaebeom, however, regretted leaving Mark behind with every fibre of his being.

_Imbecile_.

He laughed most emptily as he again recalled the photo he'd written on and left next to the still sleeping man.

It had been the middle of the night; Jaebeom had wanted to wake him so much. He hadn't had enough of that man - with his lithe body, so athletic when moving over him - so much hidden and pent up passion within that gorgeous figure, and he'd slowly wanked next to him, like he had in Hakone. Then that man had woken up, taking a photo of him, "So I can remember you just like that," and then it had been lips pressing hard, almost bruisingly, and they'd had round number 'lost-count-of-how-many-times' before peacefully passing out holding one another again. They'd taken so many other photos, but that was the reason he had chosen that one - because Mark had wanted to take it so much. Jaebeom thought he would never wank himself the same ever again without recalling the hungry look in the older man's dark eyes. He'd written his address and that 'come and get it' on the polaroid before he could stop himself, before leaving the apartment, and recalling it now made him scream into the cushion clutched to his chest in belated embarrassment. Oh god - whatever possessed him to write something so … forward. Too late to worry now. He wondered what Mark had thought when he saw it after he woke - did he find it enticing? Erotic? Did he wank himself off to Jaebeom's photo? In his mind's eye, he could picture the man doing just that and his body responded by getting hard and sending all his blood south.

"Arghhh," Jaebeom gave a strangled scream as he threw himself around and thrashed his body around in pent up frustration. "Not enticing enough to call me. Obviously," he grumped when he finally lay still. _Stupid fucking pretty man who can't work a phone._ He pulled himself up and stalked to his computer, trying to ignore the still silent phone that seemed to mock him, wanting to get rid of the erection that he'd grown at the thought of Mark slowly tugging himself to orgasm to his photo.

* * * * *

Mark spoke in his quiet way into the phone, absently staring out of the Tokyo office window of Wang Incorporated. "So, the client is happy I take it? And I can come home?"

_"Yes, I think they are happy. They have signed the contract with those small amendments and have returned them to us. You did good, Mark. You just need to sign off on those contractors for the initial stages since you know them better than I do - they're at the office - and then you can fly home at your leisure. If Japan hasn't recaptured your heart, that is."_

Jackson's cackle over the phone was loud, but knowing. He alone knew the drawcard Japan had over Mark. After all, it had been Jackson that had put Mark back to rights after he left Japan, Taecyeon, his work, and all that he had loved in his move to Korea after his parents' death. But Jackson didn't know about the existence of Jaebeom. Nor of how Jaebeom had captured his heart.

Mark stared out at the Tokyo Skyline, his eyes thoughtful.

Returning home meant doing everything or nothing when it came to Im Jaebeom. Mark had put it out of his mind until now, choosing instead to concentrate on work. Work, it seemed, was complete and he was free to go home. So now was the time to focus on capturing one Im Jaebeom's heart. Japan had recaptured his heart, yes, but a certain Im Jaebeom had captured it too and he ranked higher than the country and was now the forerunner of what was important in Mark's priorities. Mark liked a challenge. And Jaebeom after a week of radio silence might be a challenge.

He spoke openly and decisively. "I'll be coming home, Jackson. There are things - people - I have to take care of. But I'm gonna need your help." Mark held the phone far from his ear as the happy squeal came down the line. He smiled as he listened to the younger man talking animatedly down the line. He had thought long and hard about what his next steps were going to be and he felt he may be in need of some help in the form of his friends. He was sure that they'd be willing - especially if it meant that he was finally moving on with his life. And right now - that meant chasing Jaebeom.

Jaebeom? Mark sent out silently. Come and get it? Challenge accepted. Mark hoped that the younger was prepared for him. He wasn't about to let him go without fighting for him - even if Mark had to tackle Jaebeom's demons head-on.

* * * * *

Jaebeom _tried_ to keep himself occupied. He 'worked' - putting his photos in order - lots of Mark - and unpacking - stuff bought with _Mark_ . He wrapped presents - _reminded_ him of Mark. He did laundry - clothes _smelled_ like Mark. He cleaned the house - he recalled tidying Taecyeon's with _Mark_ ! Fucking Mark, Mark, Mark, _Mark_.

He avoided going out as much as possible. That was partly because he wanted to hide away, and partly a remnant of the break up from jinyoung. He was still reclusive. He was still a bit restrained in wanting to be around other people who might question him about Jinyoung. That meant avoiding local convenience stores, local eateries, and most places in his neighbourhood. And he still avoided telling Seokjin and Youngjae that he was home. In the end, it had been an entire week and Jaebeom had yet to let people know he had come home.

Because he hadn't wanted to tell them about Mark. Or the phone number he'd left. Nor about the address of his apartment that he'd written on a fucking _nude_ photo. Admittedly he thought he looked good. Mark had taken a great photo. But hey - he may as well have left a business card. The boys would give him shit about that if they found out; which he violently promised himself that they never would.

A knock on the door made him start. He wondered who that could be. No one knew he was home. He moved to get up off the couch, scooping Nora from his lap. However, the knock was followed by a key in the door which surprised him and made him pause, half risen, and a voice...  "Hello babies… Oh my god! What are you doing here?"

Jaebeom froze and stared at the surprised face on one Yoo Youngjae, standing in his hallway. _Well, shit._

"Surprise?" Jaebeom said weakly, sitting back down on the couch, Nora on his lap. His fingers absently ran through her fur, waiting for the questions. He watched Youngjae enter fully with shopping bags in hand and waited for the younger to put things onto the kitchen bench.

Jaebeom arched a brow at the bags of shopping. That was a lot of stuff for just the cats, he quietly observed. _What was this?_ "Were you planning on having a party? Without asking me?" He noted that his tone was somewhat brusque due to being somewhat surprised by Youngjae's sudden appearance and he internally winced. Youngjae didn't deserve that. He calmed his tone somewhat and softly apologised to the man who had been gracious enough to look after his cat family during his absence. "Sorry, that was uncalled for...Um, so is that all for the cats?"

He saw the younger man take a deep breath before turning to face him. "No, dumbass. We were planning on having a few drinks to welcome you home, but like you always do, you never texted us back to say you were home. We had to rely on some shady as recruiting of your neighbours to find out if you were home. By the way, Mrs Ko says hi and welcome home."

_Well, there goes his peace. She would be wanting to talk him all the time now._

Jaebeom sighed. Yes, he deserved that. "I deserve that." He noted that he should probably give a box of those Japanese chocolates to the older lady. "I should probably give a box of chocolates to her then." Then he stopped. _Why was Brain so surprised to see him if he knew he was home?_ The words escaped him before he could stop them. "If you knew I was back, then why were you surprised to see me?"

Thank goodness, Youngjae had known him long enough to follow Jaebeom's jumbled train of thought. "Honestly?" Youngjae turned back to where he had put the bags down and started to put bottles of drinks into the fridge. "Because I thought you'd be at work - not actually at home home."

Well, it hadn't been Jaebeom's choice exactly. Jisoo had put a stop to that. Jaebeom folded his arms somewhat defensively and crossed his ankles as he sunk further into his seat. "I would have but Jisoo-ssi wouldn't let me," he muttered defensively. It still rankled that his personal assistant told him not to come in and "enjoy" the rest of his break.

Youngjae cackled, "Haha, I knew that girl would be worth her weight in gold!" Youngjae had been one of the ones Jaebeom had asked for his opinion on his receptionist before hiring her. It helped that Youngjae was also a partner in the company, albeit a silent one. Youngjae had loved her somewhat decisive manner and forthright way of saying things that others wouldn't say so out of the shortlist, she was Youngjae's first choice.

Jaebeom heard the fridge shut before Youngjae came into the living room and flung himself down in a chair across from him. He could feel the assessing stare from the other man as he stroked Nora's fur. He ignored him, knowing the man would say what he wanted to say when he wanted to say it.

Finally Youngjae spoke. "So the stranger finally came home. After ditching me in my hour of need, you finally deigned us with your company. Did you run Japan out of food? Alcohol? Both?"

It was a somewhat mocking tone, full of teasing and yet also hidden, unspoken concern. Jaebeom knew the man was concerned as a good friend would be and should be, but Youngjae wasn't one to be very vocal about his emotions, choosing instead to hide them in the teasing and the joking. Therefore it was expected when the younger man smirked at him, making Jaebeom hand itch to reach across and slap him for his teasing insolence. Instead, Jaebeom threw the younger a mock glare and growled before he laughed. The other man laughed too and gave Jaebeom a return glare back, complete with jutting out chin in mimicry of the older at his worst.

He laughed good naturedly, "Aiii, stop giving me a hard time, Yoo-ah. I said I was sorry. I brought back presents for you." He grinned at his friend's natural ribbing. He missed this. As much as he had needed to get away, he had missed his friends.

Youngjae's chin dropped comically open. "Yoo-ah?! Yoo-ah?!" Youngjae snarked, "Have you been gone away that long that I'm now relegated back to surname status? Shall I call you Im-sunbae or Im-hyung?" Youngjae started to fall to his knees to bow at Jaebeom's feet.

Jaebeom winced. He'd been in Japan too long using polite form only. He'd inadvertently used the same form here. Jaebeom grabbed at the other man. "Aish!" Jaebeom grinned, pulling at the young man to get him back on his feet. "Stop it. You just flustered me when you came in. And I've been so used to being so polite in Japan. I'm sorry, Youngjae-ah, Brain, friend, little brother. Forgive me?"

Youngjae got back to his feet, somewhat mollified. "At least you brought back presents. Wait… What? No irritation? No aggravated chin out? …" Youngjae paused, carefully giving Jaebeom a long, hard, assessing look, his eyes narrowing. Jaebeom shifted nervously under his gaze. The younger's eyes widened comically before he exclaimed, "Oh my God, you got laid! You had a holiday fling!" He pointed a finger, wagging it at Jaebeom. "Who?! What?! Where?! Oh my God!"

"You're incorrigible." Jaebeom laughed, shook his head and sat back down. He should have known that Youngjae would have figured it out. They had been friends for far too long after all.

"You didn't deny it though! You only say stuff like that when you have no comeback. Dude," he crowed, "you fucking got _laid_. You - Mr 'I am never sleeping with anyone else after Park Jinyoung' got fucking shagged and laid while he went on some last minute spur of the minute trip." Youngjae stopped, sighed heavily, a smile on his face and flopped back into his seat. He carried on chattering without letting Jaebeom getting a word in. "You have to admit that is pretty fucking radical and also all kinds of awesome. Hi-five and props to you. I didn't think you had it in you. So did you fuck some total complete stranger? Of course, you did, you don't know anyone in Japan. It was Japan, right? Not here? Was he hot? Of course, he was. Was it a one-time thing? Or the whole holiday? Brunet, blond or redhead? I bet you shagged like bunnies."

Jaebeom looked at the ground all the while Youngjae prattled on, shoving his hands in his pockets, the corner of his lips tilted up in a small smile at the memory of Mark. He shuffled his feet shyly.

Youngjae stopped, his face showing his thoughts clearly as his emotions ranged from surprise to thoughtful to surprised to.... "Oh. my. God." he whispered hoarsely. "You shagged that total hottie, didn't you? The one that you had photos of on your insta account?" His voice slowly grew in volume, "Claiming it was for aesthetic purposes, my ass! I bet it was him. I'm right, aren't I?"

Jaebeom couldn't answer him. Because well, Brain was right. He peered up at the younger and winced when his friend threw his arms in the air, yelling as he jumped up and down in excitement, "Oh my god, Im Jaebeom, you got Mister fucking Hottie. I'm so proud of you!" He grabbed Jaebeom's arm as Seokjin and another friend walked through the door. Jaebeom didn't get to see who as Youngjae was shaking him back and forth, clutching him by the arms. Youngjae ignored the others, demanding to know, "Was he good? Tell me he was bad because no one looks like that and is still fucking awesome in bed. That would just be unfair to the rest of us," Youngjae whined with a small stomp of his feet.

Seokjin stopped, his brows arching upward in surprised query. "Who is fucking awesome in bed? Who got laid?" he asked.

Youngjae exclaimed, "Some hot blooded Japanese-holiday-fuckboi was awesome in bed. Oh! And hear this, Beom-ah got laid!"

Seokjin deadpanned, "Who are you and what have you done with Im Jaebeom?" pointing accusingly at Jaebeom who was laughing heartily in his seat, having fallen on the couch after Youngjae released him. "Welcome back," Seokjin greeted Jaebeom, pulling the man up off the seat and exchanging a brief hug, before quietly asking, "All good?" Jaebeom smiled at the older man and nodded. Seokjin raised his brows and inclined his head towards the younger, more excitable Youngjae. "What's he talking about?"

Jaebeom smiled and shrugged. "It's nothing, Jin. Really. I just met someone while I was away. You know - I messaged you about him a few times. It was nothing, really."

"Nothing? _Nothing_?! He got fucking laid when he went away! He went to find himself and found someone else's dick to land on. This is like, cause for celebration! Yugyeom-ah, put the drinks down and come out here."

In the kitchen, the other person shouted with laughter and he came in carrying some opened bottles. He quickly placed them down on the coffee table before sitting next to Jaebeom, clapping Jaebeom's hand in greeting and a short shoulder bump. "Welcome, home, hyung."

"Yugyeommie! When did you get back to Seoul?" He clapped the younger man on the shoulder as the younger man sat next to him. Jaebeom liked the youngest. He was always good value in their group - a decent brain and a good moral compass. Unlike some others, he could think of… Jaebeom swiveled his eyes to throw a shady look at Youngjae before turning back to Yugyeom.

Yugyeom laughed and spoke in his quiet way, "Just a few days or so ago, but you weren't here yet. I'm surprised you stayed so long." He took a sip of his drink before continuing, mischief in his eyes as he looked at Jaebeom, sending a warning shiver down Jaebeom's back. "Youngjae hyung here said you were finding yourself. I asked him if he had told you to look down in your pants, but I gather not since you fucked off overseas."

He sniggered as Jaebeom grabbed him in a fond headlock, holding him tightly before letting him go with a shove to the other end of the couch.

"You brat!"

Both Youngjae and Yugyeom looked at Jaebeom. "Which one of us?" they chorused.

He gave them both a stern look before grinning and tsking. "Both of you."

Yugyeom laughed loudly before grabbing his drink. Jaebeom grinned at the youngest as their eyes met, amusement sparking in them. Taking a quick sip and setting his drink back down, Yugyeom turned to Jaebeom, curiosity evident in his eyes. Jaebeom knew it was the start of the inquiries as to who, what, when and all the other things associated with having a holiday affair with a total stranger in a foreign land.

"So," Yugyeom started, "obviously, I knew that you were in Japan since you called me. But I didn't know you were going there to find someone to shag. What was the deal with your fling? I wish I'd known you were going for a hook-up - I would have suggested different places for you otherwise!"

JB shrugged, not wanting to mention too much about Mark. He shook his head. "Aiiii, nothing. It's ok - it wasn't planned. I met him. We got on. We were attracted and we had sex a few times. We agreed it was a fling and nothing else. I think it was fun while it lasted, but we wouldn't have made anything more of it."

_What a fucking lie, Im Jaebeom._ If Mark was here, Jaebeom knew he would have pressed the older man for more than the few days they got. He would have asked for dates. He would have asked for short dates and long nights together. He had more than a sneaking suspicion that he had done the wrong thing in walking away without a kiss at the very least. Mark had reassured him several times throughout the night that if it was right, the universe would let it all happen again. Jaebeom didn't believe in that or maybe he had too little faith which was why he left the message for Mark. But now, it left him wondering if he had left himself wide open to rejection and ridicule. He shivered at the thought.

Shaking his head, he looked back at Yugyeom who had been watching him most closely. Jaebeom made a face. "Hmm? Do you have a question?"

"Ah, so you left him in Japan, I take it?"

Jaebeom shrugged. "Yeah, well, he lives there, you know." He tried to come off as nonchalant about it, rather than out his feelings about how much he missed the dumb fucker who still hadn't called him, and risk looking like a pathetic forlorn clingy lover. Recalling something, Jaebeom turned to Yugyeom, "Oh, and hey thanks for the recommendation for the ramen house! That place was awesome. Funnily enough, 'Mr Hottie' as Brain calls him had it recommended to him too by a friend. That's one of the places I ran into him actually. He was there with some work people."

"Oh really? Funny…" Yugyeom looked lost in thought for a moment before he shook his head and turned back, "um, yeah ok, good! Yeah, it's one of my favourites. I've been travelling there so much this year and it's nice to have familiar places."

"Yeah, it was good. The owner was a nice guy."

"Their whiskey selection is pretty good too."

"Oh yeah, it was good. I had some of his actually."

"Really? You don't like sharing drinks though?"

"Yeah, it was an emergency situation kind of thing. I was um, choking, and he gave me whiskey. I think he found it funny."

"That sounds like something one of my other friends would do," laughed Yugyeom. "I have been recommending that place to so many friends recently. One of my other friends is actually coming back from Tokyo."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he was there for work. I think he's coming back tonight or maybe tomorrow. He really liked it too. Said he met someone great there."

Jaebeom smiled. He had met someone great there too. "It's definitely a good place for it. I'll recommend it to anyone who goes there too."

"Ha! That's what hyung said too." Yugyeom was laughing. "I'm really surprised he didn't know about it since he used to live there. It's one of the more popular Japanese frequented spots in Shibuya. It's going to be overrun by Koreans though if we keep recommending it."

They both laughed. Jaebeom glanced over to the other two who were having a quiet conversation about something - he couldn't quite make out what they were talking about. Must be serious, he thought.

Yugyeom smiled at him. "Anyway… so you got to see some sights then. Your instagram was surprisingly well used. I'm surprised you got nowhere with convincing the fling to come here? Did you try to encourage him to come back with you?"

"Well no, the subject never really came up…"

"Other things were up, right?" Yugyeom teased him quietly. They both laughed. Still smiling, Yugyeom asked, "Did you enjoy your time there though?"

Jaebeom reflected on his trip. Aside from the time spent with Mark, he actually had enjoyed his time spent there. It was a good place to reflect on life and his future. It helped him decide on what he wanted, what possibly went wrong and what he would like to do in future relationships, be it friends, family or significant others. "Yeah, I did actually. I got to see many of the usual tourist spots, but I also got to see some of the not so usual tourist places. He made sure of that. He took me places…"

"I bet he did," snorted Youngjae, their quiet conversation obviously finished. He quirked a brow at them.

"Hush in the cheap seats!" admonished Yugyeom.

"Hey! You're youngest here!"

"Hey! Hush, we're talking here." Jaebeom interjected as he waved his finger between Yugyeom and himself. "Go back to fraternising with that fellow over there…" pointing to Seokjin who was busy smiling into his phone. He grunted as Youngjae threw a scrunched up piece of paper at him. "Hey!"

"Hey yourself. So tell us more about what you did. Stop hogging him, Yugyie. We want to hear about it too."

"Yeah Yugs."

The youngest laughed out loud but nodded.

Jaebeom chuckled. "So...I err… got a really good tour of the fish markets with sashimi..., oh my god, did you know that you can get good soba in the fish market?" Yugyeom shook his head, still smiling. Jaebeom nodded fervently at the warm memory. "Well, it's perfect after freezing your balls off at the auctions. It's in the outer shops of the fish market."

"Noted."

He flahsed a quick smile before continuing, "Um… let's see, I went up to Tokyo Metropolitan Building a few times since it wasn't far from my hotel - thanks for that tip too. It was good to go up and see the city during the day and at night. Oh, I got to see Yokohama, too, from the Landmark Tower. Oh, and from the Ferris Wheel! I went to Akihabara, Ueno - checked out the zoo, went on a beer tour at Kirin Beer Factory, um, Harajuku, oh they have cat cafes! And a hedgehog one. Oh and rabbits! Like the ones in Myeongdong. Went to the bottom of Mt Fuji and one of the outer cities - Hakone. Oh and I went bungee jumping!"

There were the 'awwws' he'd been looking for. "Sounds like you had a good time then," Seokjin smiled. "Glad to hear the escapism helped."

"Yeah, I had a reasonably good time actually. You were right, Yugyeom," he said, turning to the youngest again. "It is a good place to visit by yourself. It was actually nice? I didn't think it would be nice without someone else but I see what you meant from your vid call. Thanks for talking me through - I really hadn't planned anything. The places you suggested were pretty good. Appreciated that."

"No worries, hyung. I'm glad you got to enjoy yourself. You deserve it." Jaebeom smiled gratefully at the youngest. Yugyeom gave him a look before he said, "You know, you seem happier. Like when we talked, you seemed darker and now you are much lighter. Like you found something good." Jaebeom gave Yugyeom a sharp look. It always surprised him when he realised how much Yugyeom caught onto things that others often missed. He gave the youngest an amused smirk. The younger just grinned softly. "I'm glad you were able to find yourself, hyung. It's nice to see you happy again."

"Thanks, Yugyeommie. I was happy. I _am_ happy. I enjoyed my time there. I met some nice people. Got to see some places I have also dreamed of seeing. And I took an amazing amount of photos." At the look Yugyeom shot him, Jaebeom gave a soft laugh, "Yes, even Mr Hottie as Brain calls him. I did enjoy that time the most."

Seokjin spoke in his quiet tone. "You sound like you spent a bit of time with him, Beommie. How'd you meet?"

Jaebeom nodded, happy to relive the story of him and Mark. It made it seem more real, sharing it with his friends, and not just something surreal. "I did, Jin. I met him on my first night at a Starbucks. It was good to meet someone who spoke Korean. We kind of tripped around together off and on in the following days. Most of the things I got to see on my trip, he was a part of. We even did Hakone and Mt Fuji together at the end.  It didn't seem like it since we only travelled the tail end of my trip together, but he was pretty much present for a lot of my trip."

"Ah, a romantic tryst away…"

"I remember those…"

"I still have those…"

"I have to do those…"

Seokjin glared at the younger two before turning to Jaebeom. "At least you met someone nice, Beommie. Pity he isn't Korean and would live in Seoul."

Jaebeom laughed. "I know right? But hey, who knows - I left him my address so maybe if he felt like visiting…"

Youngjae and Seokin both paused drinking, exchanged a look before staring hard at Jaebeom. _Oops_. He forgot about Seokjin's sensitive point. He got the sinking feeling that they were both going to berate him now. Damn him and his loose tongue. He saw them exchanging another glance before Seokjin asked carefully, "Did you catch feelings, Beommie?"

"No."

"Then why would you leave your address details with a quick fuck?" Seokjin's voice was flat, almost hard.

_And there it is._

Seokjin warned them against leaving personal details with someone who might be a one night stand or a short-lived relationship. He'd been at the receiving end of a bad stalker experience. And it had stuck hard with him. He was always so wary nowadays and was always concerned for 'his boys' as Seokin called Jaebeom and their friends. Part of him was so disappointed in Seokjin being so blinded by his experiences but at the same time Jaebeom was sad that the stalking experience still bothered the older man so much.

Youngjae's voice too was soft and surprisingly silky with anger, "Yeah, what have we told you about not leaving details of where you live or work to total strangers?"

Jaebeom exclaimed. "You just said it was nice I met someone!"

"He's still a stranger!"

"He wasn't a stranger…" Jaebeom muttered. _And he wasn't a quick fuck,_ he mentally scoffed.

"Well, sure, not after he got up, close, and personal with your tongue and your dick. But it's still no reason for giving him your address."

Youngjae was getting worked up, tension radiating from him. He hadn't been happy about the stalker experience, having had to rescue the oldest of them from a few incidents that were close calls for their liking and taking Seokjin to the police to report the stalker every time.

Jaebeom bit back at the younger. "Hey!!! I'm a grown as man!" _How was this escalating so quickly?_ Jaebeom was bitterly regretting having said anything now.

Seokjin interceded and yelled back. " _Hey_! So am I, and do you remember that guy who stalked _my_ ass?! He made it seem like I was a child in comparison." Jin sounded disappointed but Jaebeom knew it was something they had all promised after that particularly bad time with that nut job who stalked him. The endless phone calls and hang ups were insane. But the stalking at cafes, supermarkets, and work was worse. Especially when he'd try to grab the older a few times.

"Yes, but that's different," Jaebeom tried to argue.

"Stalkers are stalkers, Jaebeom."

_Shit._ He breathed, trying to control his growing frustration. Jin's stalker was not Mark.

He tried again. "He's a good man, Jin. He wouldn't do anything like that. He's a good sort."

Seokjin snorted derisively. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!" He could feel his chin jutting out in response.

"Whatever." Jaebeom watched as the older man folded his arms and stood with his body language screaming 'I'm not buying it'. Seokjin's response annoyed Jaebeom. He was not being fair. He didn't know Mark; he made rash assumptions based on his own bad experience and he was judging before he knew the details.

"Hey!" Jaebeom shutdown the older man quickly and firmly. "You weren't there!"

"No, because if I was, I probably wouldn't have let you run off with some guy you just fucking met!"

"You're not my mother, my partner nor my keeper Jin!"

"No, I'm not but maybe I should be your mother. Maybe Jinyoung kept you in line all these years and this is childish you coming out!"

Jaebeom's eyes widened. "Are you shitting me right now, Jin?!" Jaebeom was incredulous. "You're fucking equating my ex-boyfriend who dumped my ass with some lame as attempt at fucking parenting me because I gave my damn address to someone I fucked as a grown up fucking adult?"

Seokjin crossed his arms and glared at him. Jaebeom felt the displeasure and animosity being sent his way from across the room. Well, that went both ways because he sure as hell was just as pissed as Seokjin right now.

Seokjin continued to be brash, irking Jaebeom even more. "Well, maybe Jinyoung saved you from making a ton of mistakes all these years…"

"It was _not_ a mistake!" Jaebeom exploded, "Stop trying to be my parent and be my fucking supportive friend like you usually are! I have good judgment too, you know. He isn't that guy, Jin! He is kind, and good hearted, and he has a good nature… He even had the heart to help save me from a horrible meeting with Jinyoungie!"

"What?" Three sets of eyes turned to Jaebeom. He felt mollified as they simultaneously calmed to look at him.

Seokjin snorted. "Ha! How on earth can he have done that?" Seokjin's tone was derisive and it rankled Jaebeom's back.  

He scoffed back, "Well, you don't know everything, Jin." _Yeah real mature, Jaebeom. Sounding like a real adult there._ He huffed as he told them, "Jinyoung was in Japan, of all fucking places. And just my luck, I damn well ran into him."

Youngjae seethed. "What the fuck? Why was Park there? He was the one that always stopped you guys from going. All these years and he suddenly decides to go?"

"I don't know his reasons, Brain. He was just there. Do I look like a fucking mind reader?"

Youngjae grouched, "Well, I hope you didn't try to get answers or look fucking sad in front of that fucker!"

Sarcasm flowed out of Jaebeom as he said, "Gee, thanks, Youngjae-ah. Because that was what was important, right? Try not to look like a moron to my ex who broke my heart. It's not like you guys were around to save my ass." Jaebeom sneered. _Why were they like this?_

He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Jaebeom tried to explain. "No, stop. Look guys, regardless of why Jinyoung was there, Ma.." Jaebeom didn't want to say his name. He didn't want them to mar, to tarnish, to destroy his wonderful thoughts and memories of Mark. Damned if he was going to let them do this. "... _this guy,_ Mr Hottie damn well made sure that Jinyoung knew he couldn't have me back. If he even wanted me back." He ignored the incredulous snorts from Youngjae and continued in a quieter, more calmer tone. "He played the part of my new boyfriend in front of Jinyoung."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because it was obvious that I was uncomfortable in front of Nyeongie! Anyway, it doesn't matter - what mattered was that he made it seem like we'd travelled to Japan together. It was honestly amazing. I don't think even Jinyoung as my actual boyfriend has ever done the stuff that he did in front of Nyeongie. Like straight out of a movie or drama…"

Jaebeom's voice petered off for a moment in recollection of Mark standing outside that train station, holding his hand to his face, making Jaebeom look at him. God, that would be a moment he would never tire of recalling. And that moment of just breathing Mark in, foreheads touching. That ache came back to the pit of his stomach.

Jaebeom sighed heavily - god he missed him. "You don't know how it felt. It was … _magical_." He sighed again, then realised where he was and who he was with and coughed. His voice a bit gruffer, he rushed out, "Um, and the whole time, his friend rubbed it into Nyeongie's face. I have never been so grateful to anyone before in my life that they were so petty and scathing. More so than Nyeongie on his worst days. Anyway, these two guys were both so good to play up the role. I don't think Jinyoung ever looked so bothered before, not even when Youngjae came onto him at that frat party in sophmore year."

"Hey, I was really really drunk!" pouted Youngjae.

"We know. But we also know you liked his ass. A lot. It often made our nights better after you'd been ogling it for a while." He grinned as Youngjae's face flushed with colour. "Anyway, Jinyoung left. And these guys kind of adopted me until I left, I guess."

"They weren't a couple?" The question was asked in a much softer tone, indicating that they were calming down. For that, Jaebeom was thankful. It made him feel relieved - he didn't want to have his recollection of Tokyo and all its wonders marred by an ugly argument.

He felt okay enough to clarify, "No, they're friends. They had invited me out to dinner with them and we happened to be meeting up to do that, " Jaebeom was counting stalking Mark as meeting up, "when we crossed paths with Jinyoungie. Taecyeon's boyfriend joined us later," he further informed them.

Jaebeom noticed Yugyeom was looking at him carefully. He arched an eyebrow at the younger boy, who made a hum of understanding as if something was clear to him. "Hmm… sounds like this guy was a good guy, hyung. Good for you."

"He is, Gyeom. He would never stalk me. Probably a pity, but hey, I am learning to accept it. I'm kidding, Jin. Please. I know how badly that stalker incident was and I'm not trying to make light of it. But please… "

Seokjin nodded, his face impassive.

"So this guy is in Japan. You had a great time." Yugyeom was trying to lighten the mood. Jaebeom appreciated that. He looked across at the other two. Their eyes all met and they all ruefully gave each other a tentative smile.

"Yeah it sounds like you had a great time," Seokjin repeated after a moment. Youngjae nodded.

Yugyeom laughed, "You know it's a shame he doesn't live here," there was an odd note in the youngest's voice but Jaebeom couldn't work out what it was. Yugyeom grinned at him. "But hey, I have a mate of mine if you're interested in seeing someone, hyung?"

Jaebeom gaped at the youngest. Didn't he just defend the fling? At what point did Gyeommie think Jaebeom would be interested in dating again?

"Not a bad idea, Beommie," Seokjin encouraged. "I'm not saying you have to jump into something else straight away, but it might be something to look forward to."

Yugyeom wheedled, "Look, I know it's quick… But you know what they say. The easiest way to get over a guy is to get under a new one. And I think you'd really like this one. I'm almost certain he'd be your type."

The look on Yugyeom's face was blindingly pure and heartfelt and for that Jaebeom felt bad. But still, he wasn't in a place where he would feel right about dating anyone who wasn't Mark. At least, not yet. The man had yet to call him, but Jaebeom wasn't about to give up - not yet.

"Um…" he stalled, thinking fast. "I don't know, Gyeommie," he fell back to using the younger's nickname in his effort to evade answering with an outright 'no'.

"He's nice and down to earth. Fun when you need him to be, too."

Youngjae leaned forward in interest, almost knocking his beer over, managing to catch it before it spilled. "Oh really? This sounds like I should take a look at him."

"Not for you, hyung. JB hyung." Yugyeom flicked him a withering glance.

Youngjae looked affronted, "Hey! Why not me? I'm amazing."

Jaebeom snickered at the offended look Youngjae was sporting. Seokjin also laughed into his drink, "Modest too."

Yugyeom was firm. "No. He's not your type."

Youngjae persisted. "How do you know? I might be his!"

"No."

"But Yugyeom-ah!"

"No. And besides you have your new boy toy. What would he say to you being like this?"

Youngjae sat back in his seat and pouted. Then he laughed. "Yeah, I do. He's too cute. And he'd hit me for being like this. He's a smacker. I'm going to be black and blue soon, but it'll be worth it to hear that laugh." Jaebeom watched as Youngjae's face morphed into some weird whipped-as look.

"You stole him." Jaebeom grumped.

"You weren't here." Youngjae scoffed.

Jaebeom glared. "You didn't wait."

Youngjae arched a brow. "Neither did you, oh fucker-of-hottie-boyfies."

_Yeah_ . He sat down nursing his drink as he tried hard not to think of what he'd left behind in Japan. His cock wouldn't let him forget. He felt it twitch again. SStop.

"Oh, he must have been good. Look at Beom-ah! Lost in his thoughts already. That good huh? Must be if you want him to stalk your ass. Did you top or bottom?"

Jaebeom felt his face flush. " _Aish. Hajima._ Stop it."

Youngjae waggled his eyebrows at Jaebeom. "Ha! Now you can put some of that skill into practice on this side of the sea. Why don't you try out Gyeommie's friend?"

Because he had had a beautiful blond man who had the most talented mouth and who had a hold of his heart, Jaebeom cried silently inside.

He missed him. He missed Mark.

_Mark_.

Jaebeom sighed. He thought about Mark and the countless times he'd teased Jaebeom about being his personal stalker - God, he missed that annoying fucker. Mark was good - very, very good. 

Jaebeom coughed as he felt his dick rising again, threatening to out his impure line of thought to his friends. He willed himself to calm down. Not everything was about fucking, for god's sake.

He swirled his drink, immersed in his head. Maybe Mark wasn't going to get in touch after all. Maybe he should at least meet people while he waited?  He didn't want anyone else though - only Mark.

_Obsessed much?_

"Jaebeom?"

He looked up and shrugged, feigning a nonchalance he didn't feel. Finally, he shifted his gaze to meet the eyes of the youngest. "I'm not ready to go into anything, Gyeommie," Jaebeom said quietly. "I … I can't."

Yugyeom nodded. "It's okay, hyung. I  can tell. It can wait."

Jaebeom breathed out in relief. He was glad that Yugyeom backed down.

Yugeyom's next words made Jaebeom start drinking in earnest. "As for Japan boy, at least you know he is in Japan and can't really chase you down. Unless he really lived here... or you know, came for a holiday, of course."

'Unless he really lived here…' What he'd give to have Mark actually live here. Or for him to stalk the blond man like he'd been accused of doing so many times. God, what he'd do to be Mark's stalker. He wondered what the blond was doing now… He took a deep drink of his drink. What he would do to know where he was now and if Mark was thinking of him…

* * * * *

On the other side of Seoul, a slim, tired, but happy man came out of customs and was pulled into a tight hug by a muscular man. "Welcome home, Mark." The strongs arms wrapped around the slender blond man and Mark relaxed into them. He hugged Jackson hard, feeling the other man holding him tight. He needed this. "Thanks Gaga," he said softly, "for doing this."

The other man coughed and gruffed, "Let's get you home. Taec called me to discuss the finer points so I bought soju and takeaways - we are getting trashed tonight. BamBam's waiting for us. We will be working on a plan - with a capital 'P'!"

He followed the solid Hong Kong man out to the car and got in weary but resolute. His head leaned back on the headrest. He felt tired and worn out, but also elated and determined. He hadn't made contact with Jaebeom yet and in the past two days, he'd just stared at the phone number he had put into his phone, wondering if he should call. Instead, he'd come home after Jackson had deemed the client happy with the proposal and was ready to hunt him down; the photo of one naked Im Jaebeom burning a hole in his pocket. And a Korean address in his phone.

Mark was determined to hunt Jaebeom down on his terms. Not because Jaebeom had given him his address that was now firmly imprinted in Mark's brain from the number of times he'd looked at that piece of paper before he'd entered it into his phone, but because Mark wanted this to be good, to be as new as any other relationship.

They may have ended on a bittersweet note in Yokohama - yes he had felt the bittersweet of their goodbye sex - but here in Seoul, it was going to be as good as any newly found lov… relationship. Mark still found it hard to say the 'L' word in his brain but he knew what he felt.

He wanted them to meet again, to see if they felt the same as they did in Japan, and then to do as any newly found feelings did and enjoy time spent together finding out each other. They might be doing things backward but Mark was going to make sure that they didn't skip over any part because Jaebeom deserved it all. And he wasn't going to chance skipping over anything vital for future memories.

And Jackson was going to help him. God help Jaebeom. Mark smirked. The man wasn't going to know what hit him. He hit send on a message before he threw his phone into the centre console. He just hoped this would work.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think people want to influence relationships. They love hearing about new ones (most of the time), but when you have had a random hookup/affair like Mark and Jaebeom have - is it enough to build something on? It will be interesting to see how their friends read the situation and the relationship. Do you think Mark can convince Jaebeom to date him now he is home?


	20. It's A Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom wakes to a hangover and a message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, another update! Surprise! Ok, it's another short chapter. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

"So how is it that I am back with a hangover and you are insisting that I go to the gym?" The sun was not even in the sky as Jaebeom, Seokjin and Youngjae walked from the train on the way to the gym. Yugyeom had disappeared before he had even emerged from his room and Jaebeom was grumbling at the fact that the boys were dragging him out so early. "What kind of friends are you?" Jaebeom knew he was moaning and annoying everyone but he really was beyond caring. _Jin and Youngjae were not his friends_ , he decided, petulantly dragging his feet as they walked along. He knew they were trying to help after an evening of him bemoaning the fact that he would have to join the market, so to speak, of eligible gay men out there again. Knowing that though didn't stop him from feeling the pounding in his head, the ache of his bones, and the queasiness of his stomach, and although he knew he shouldn't be taking it out on them; he was feeling more than a little sorry for himself. It was, after all, their fault that he was so hungover. He swore that he would never get that drunk ever again. Well, until next time.

"We are good for you," said Youngjae sanctimoniously as he minced alongside Jaebeom. He was also loud and it hurt Jaebeom's already sore head.

Jaebeom stopped in his tracks and shot him a look that spoke of daggers before he carried on walking, his strides were strong and purposeful, annoyed with Youngjae. "No. You aren't," he gritted out. He pushed to walk ahead of the other two, but Seokjin stretched his longer legs easily and kept pace with him; Youngjae laughing as he ran to catch up.

"Yes, we are," Seokjin said patiently, slinging an arm over Jaebeom's wide shoulders, causing Jaebeom to grunt at the heavier weight. Seokjin ignored the noise as he soothed, "We care, Beommie. We want you to be happy. Sitting in your apartment all day until you can go to work in not healthy. You're damn near close to obsessing that you are going to combust if he turns up in the flesh."

Jaebeom glowered at his words. "I wouldn't spontaneously combust." He wouldn't _combust_ \- he might die; he might hyperventilate; he might leap on the man, but he wouldn't spontaneously combust. Unless Mark touched him. Ok, yeah, maybe then. He smirked to himself. Ok, yeah, take that back - he totally would.

Youngjae snorted beside him. "Wouldn't that be funny if he did?"

Huh? Seokjin and Jaebeom looked at Youngjae quizzically.

"Huh? Wouldn't that be funny if who did what?" Jaebeom asked, confused.

"If Hottie boy turned up - wouldn't it be funny?" Youngjae clarified, sniggering at his thoughts.

"Ohhhhh, I thought you meant Jaebeom combusting…" Seokjin said, comprehension dawning.

Jaebeom threw the older boy a withering stare. "Like that's going to happen," Jaebeom tried to scoff, "Be real, guys. I wouldn't spontaneously combust and the guy would not miraculously turn up."

"Lighten up, Jaebeom. We all know you're uptight because he hasn't plastered your ass in like a few days... "

"Seven…Eight if you count today."

"Oh my god, you're counting?! You're like a bitch in heat, I swear. Look, you gave him your number and address for a reason. Why wouldn't he turn up? It's not like you're ugly. And from what Jinyoung said all these years, you're a pretty decent fuck. And Jin and I have heard plenty of 'Oh God, yes, Baby, do you like that Baby, fuck you feel so good, baby…fuck, Jae!' over the years."

His face went bright red. "Shuddyaup," Jaebeom muttered, his face and ears all flushed, but his mouth in a self-satisfied grin.

"Well… " Seokjin shrugged, somewhat amused at Jaebeom's embarrassment. "I think I'd pay to see that happen - the hottie guy turn up that is, and for Beommie here to just explode. I wonder if Mr Hottie would come over if I paid for his flight? Watch Jaebeom die on the spot or go up in flames?" Not only did Seokjin seem to be against him but Jaebeom felt affronted by his remark and his offer to pay for Mark to make him expire on the spot. _With friends like these, who needs enemies?_ He entertained the thought about maybe finding some new friends - briefly…

Jaebeom was itching to see Mark. He was almost climbing out of his skin, he was so desperate to hear from him. He knew that if push came to shove, he probably would burst into flames if Mark _was_ within grasping distance. He could still recall what Mark's touch felt like on his skin, what his mouth could do to him, and he could feel the ghost of his touch all over - inside and out. He tried to push the thought out of his head about what he _might_ be tempted to do if Mark was within arm's reach. He licked his suddenly dry lips at the thoughts his thirsty brain was filling his mind with. There was silence as they walked along, each man lost in their own thoughts.

After a moment of silence, Youngjae mused aloud, "Do you think he's going to up and leave Japan, his job, his life, and chase after him after a week? Like surely, he's not that desperate..." _Gee, thanks, Brain. Saranghae, pabo._

"Well, no, of course not desperate, but he might care enough for our Jaebeom here to do so…"

Jaebeom sighed. _It's like he wasn't even there_. "Guys, I'm right here…"

Youngjae argued, "He could have called, messaged, anything..."

"He didn't," said Jaebeom morosely.

"Exactly."

Jaebeom made a face at Youngjae. "Thanks, Brain - you're making me feel so much better."

"What can I say - you're welcome?" quipped Youngjae, dancing out of Jaebeom's reach as the older lashed out to hit him.

"Where'd did Yugyeom go this morning so early?" Seokjin asked abruptly changing the subject and grabbing Jaebeom around the neck to minimise the fighting.

"Yeah, why isn't he having his input into my love life too?" grouched Jaebeom, giving up on Youngjae and fall into step with Seokjin.

Youngjae laughed as he grabbed Jaebeom's hand and patted it placatingly. "He said he had to go - something about his boyfie being all clingy and wanting him to go home for some emergency something."

Jaebeom shook off Youngjae's hand with a mock scowl. "He better be coming to the gym. Hang on, I'm going to call him." He fiddled with his phone, realising after a moment, it had been switched off. _Dammit_. He turned it back on. An unknown number appeared on his phone. Jaebeom frowned. Who was that? He opened it. The message appeared and he forgot how to breathe.

_Message from unknown number:_

_Hey. So your note said 'Come and get it.' And you left me this little thing called an address in Seoul. So here I am. In Seoul. Call me an idiot. Call me a fool. Just as long as you call me. Mark._

It wasn't until Seokjin lightly slapped his face that he realised that he'd zoned out as he stared at his message. It wasn't until the phone was plucked out of his suddenly numb fingers that he'd realised that he'd been staring at the phone blankly. And it wasn't until he heard, "Breathe, Jaebeom!" that he realised he'd been holding his breath.

He breathed out. And then in. And then out again until his brain started functioning once more.

_Mark_.

His brain was a-whirl with questions, lighting up all the neural pathways available all at once. His mind was whirring, his body flooded with adrenaline, And his lungs were suddenly overactive and not active enough all at once. He bent down, hands on his knees, as the world spun dizzyingly around him.

"Jaebeom! JB! Beommie! Breathe! Shit!" He could hear Seokjin and Youngjae as he hyperventilated his way down from a rather large panic attack.

Mark came here. _Fuck_ . Mark came _here_.

He snatched his phone back from whomever had it and opened his messaging app. Ignoring his friends, he messaged back.

_Jaebeom:_

_Hey. Where are you?_

He waited anxiously, his eyes searching the screen as if it would miraculously find Mark there. After a moment, he got a reply.

Mark:  
_Nice to hear from you, Mark. How are you, Mark? But I get 'Where are you?' Nice._ _  
_ As for where am I? I'm in your heart. Duh! Like I said, I'm in Seoul.

He rolled his eyes at the sarcastic tone in Mark's words. _Seriously_? But a grin lit up his face unknowingly, as he typed back a response.

_Jaebeom:_

_I know that, idiot. Where?_

_Mark:  
_ _Aren't you supposed to be the stalker? LOL I'm at a friend's place. Come find me. Are you free?_

Jaebeom breathed at Mark's words. How was it this man could get under his skin in five seconds flat and make him aroused, elated, and highly anticipatory all at once? He quickly typed another response.

_Jaebeom:_ _  
_ _I'm supposed to be at the gym._

_Mark:_ _  
_ _Supposed to be? Why aren't you?_

The replies from Mark were quick and Jaebeom quickly realised Mark must be waiting for him as much as he was waiting for Mark. That realisation alone made him breathe easier yet tighter all at once. The man came here - for him. He felt a certain amount of pride at that. He was worth chasing after, after all. Jaebeom felt a little smug, a little more self-confident, a more than a little brazen. He tucked his tongue at the corner of his lips as he flirted with the man who came to collect him.

_Jaebeom:_ _  
_ _Well, I am on my way there. But it's a workout with a hangover. So I'm not really feeling it. You got a better alternative for me than the gym? ;)_

_Mark:_ _  
_ _Hangover huh? Must have been a good night then? Did you do anything I wouldn't do?_

_Jaebeom:_ _  
_ _I didn't do anything that *I* would do, but if you'd been there I would have done you._

_Mark:_ _  
_ _LOL That's a bit sad for you, but there's always next time._

_Jaebeom:_ _  
_ _Well, I did vow to never drink again._

_Mark:_ _  
_ _But wouldn't you like to find out what I wouldn't do? It's not a long list._

_Jaebeom:_ _  
_ _We did only scratch the surface in Japan. So yes. I would. I really would. Tied up. Blindfolded. Gagged. All of it._

_Mark:  
_ _Fuck, Jaebeom. Find me. Meet me. The sooner the better._

_Jaebeom:_

_I'll skip the gym and meet you._

_Mark:_ _  
_ _Yes. I was hoping you'd say that._

_Jaebeom:_   
_Where?_

_Mark:_   
_How about I meet you at Cafe Press? It's the closest thing here._   
_Do you know where that is?_ _  
_ Or find me on your stalker map LOL

Jaebeom knew the place. And where it was. And now where Mark was. His heart was pounding in anticipation.

_Jaebeom:  
_ _Yes. I'll find you._

_Mark:_ _  
_ _That's a good stalker. I want you to find me._

_Oh god, save me._ He could just imagine Mark saying that to him. Jaebeom was screwed. He drew a breath to release the tightness in his chest.

He looked up at the two faces who were peering down at him. "Guys, I need to run."

 

Jaebeom stood up, grabbed his bag and friends or no friends, hangover or not, he found himself running as if he had wings on his feet. Mark was here.

 

End of chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Jin and YoungjaeYoo. They must be completely flabbergasted at Jaebeom's actions. It's another short chapter yes, but necessary. What happens when hungover Jaebeom meets tired Mark? Tune in next time!


	21. You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark is in Seoul and Jaebeom is racing to meet him. Will it be all Jaebeom wants after the time apart? 
> 
> The long-awaited meeting of Mark and Jaebeom in Seoul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the length of time since my last post! I went for a number of Eyes on You concerts and then disappeared to Asia for a lengthy, overdue holiday. I was in Seoul for Mark's birthday! Pity I missed comeback there - that would have been amazing. And then I got back, I couldn't update because I was unhappy with the path my story had taken so I rewrote the upcoming chapters. Upside I have a few banked so be prepared for some updates shortly.
> 
> Now the boys are restless... they have been feeding the writing. 
> 
> We last left our Jaebeom getting that text from Mark and he left his friends Jin and Yoo Youngjae to run to meet Mark at the cafe. What is going to happen now they are in the same city and aware of each other's existence?

* * *

 

“Mark…. hi. Hi, Mark. Hey, Mark. Mark, hey!” Jaebeom tried all the ways in his head to greet Mark, but nothing sounded right. But then he saw him and nothing else mattered….

It was him.

Slim, blond, white shirt, jean-clad, leather jacket wearing, sex on a stick.

Mark fucking Tuan looking like Jaebeom’s gift from the gods.

And he found himself running and throwing himself at the other man, clinging to Mark like the bitch his mother made him.

Jaebeom’s heart - and hands - were full - with a hot mess of bewildering, fluttering feelings and hot man... Mark was here - oh god, so happy. Mark was here, what the hell? Mark was here, oh my god, that dry spell was too long. Mark was here, oh fuck does he know how much I love him?

All thoughts were happening at the same time as his lips were claimed by the softest, most heartfelt, kiss he’d swear was like it was the first time he’d really been kissed in his life. Unlike the first kiss they’d shared - which had been laced with adrenaline and sexual tension - this kiss was almost laughably chaste, closed mouth and so achingly sweet. And it made him swoon - if he was to swoon, which he told himself he wasn’t doing. But his heart continued to flip in his chest, a buzzing was in his ears, his lips were quivering under the tender touch, and his fingers were clinging to Mark’s forearms as he swayed on his feet. Maybe he was swooning. Only a little bit though.

“Jaebeom.”

His name was drowning in the naked emotion in Mark’s husky voice. And his legs went to jelly. Jaebeom swallowed thickly, willing his eyes to stay closed as he savoured the feel, the taste, and the touch of one Mark Tuan. He could feel the sinewy strength beneath the palm of his hands, the feel of skin under the sensitive pads of his fingers, the feel of Mark’s breath against his skin, and the scent that was only ever undoubtedly Mark beneath his nose as he tucked his head down into the crook of Mark’s neck. “You’re here,” he said eventually, opening his eyes. Jaebeom’s voice was barely a whisper.

“I’m here,” came the husky response.

His heart swelled - along with other another part of him. He watched as Mark realised it too. He smirked as Mark looked at first shocked, then sly as he pulled Jaebeom further into him. He blushed, looking down, and stared at Mark through his lashes. His chin was lifted by warm, slim fingers and the touch against his skin was like fire, branding him the exclusive property of one Mark Tuan. He lifted his eyes to meet his lover's. "Hi."

"Hi."

That smile. "Wow."

"Yeah."

That grin. "You're here."

"I am."

"Wow."

And then there was no more talking, for Mark's lips met his own once more; those plump full lips pressed against his, making him part his lips in a sweet sigh of release. The sweet scent of Mark's skin, the feel of his soft lips moving against his own, the familiar taste that danced over his taste buds as Mark's tongue deftly moved against his in that intimate way that only lovers know.

They parted slowly, neither anxious to let go, but instead, leaning their foreheads against one another, their breaths mingling softly in an unhurried way as they both relished their moment together.

"Jaebeommie."

 _Fuck_. The sound of his name coming out of that mouth vibrated through him. Mark's voice sounded deeper, more sinful than he remembered it. He shivered with excitement. "Mark."

"I missed you."

Mark's bald statement surprised the hell out of Jaebeom, to be completely honest. He hadn't heard from Mark since he had left Japan and now Mark was here - saying that he had missed him. Jaebeom shook his head in an effort to clear his thoughts.

"We should probably move this someplace else," Mark murmured as someone pushed past them. Jaebeom realised they were still standing on the pavement near the cafe they were supposed to meet at. He went to move away but found himself captured by the firm arm around his waist. "I didn't say you could move away from me when i just got hold of you again."

Jaebeom's face flushed and he bit his lip at the look Mark gave him. "We could go inside?" he suggested.

He waited, watching as Mark paused to think before nodding, indicating with the drop of his arm for Jaebeom to lead the way, but holding tightly onto his hand. Jaebeom could have sworn he heard Mark say something, but when he looked back in query, the blond just shook his head. He tugged the older man inside behind him to the counter where they quickly ordered food and drinks before making their way to a table in a quiet corner.

Mark wouldn't let his hand go - which was more than fine with Jaebeom - they sat on the same side of the table, their legs pressed against one another. His heart was going a hundred beats a second. Jaebeom could feel his heart hammering against his ribs so loud he wondered if Mark could hear it too. He could also feel the heat emanating through their combined clothing, the strong press of muscles against his, and the palm that lay on his thigh burning like hot coals through his sweatpants. It all sent shivers coursing through his body; hot and cold, excitement and want, mingling with nervousness and anticipation.

That fire was back in Mark's eyes. It was hot, sinful and full of hot promises. But Jaebeom realised he had never seen Mark without that fire burning for him. Burning for _him_. The thought lit a fire in his stomach and it was burning hotter and hotter. He wanted Mark and Mark wanted him. Fuck - this was all he'd wished for this week and now he was getting it. Jaebeom shook his head as he realised this and looked down - all flustered. But then he felt Mark's hand under his chin, lifting it to meet his gaze.

"Jaebeommie…" the breathless manner in which Mark says his name caught Jaebeom by surprise, reminding him of other breathless times when Mark called his name and sent another surge of desire rampaging through his body. 'Can we just leap on him?' his brain asked. _Thirsty much?_

Mark's voice was husky as his eyes searched hungrily over Jaebeom's face, "I've been mesmerised by this face for a week, but your photo pales in comparison." Mark has been staring at his photo the whole time? _Really?_ Jaebeom swallowed thickly at Mark's words. His naked, cock-in-hand, challenge of a photo? He felt elated and yet flustered by this admission. He swallowed hard, desire being fuelled just from the feel of Mark's fingers against his skin. _Oh yes sir, brand me with your fingers._

"You're very…" his brain searched for a word - _sexy_ \- now there's a word, "... _late_ ," he feebly settled for.

Mark paused then gave him an amused look before dropping his hand and leaning back. "To see you? Yes, I was late. I'll make it up to you later." He laughed that distinctive Mark laugh that Jaebeom loved hearing. But all Jaebeom heard was that Mark would make it up to him _later_ and it reminded him of how he thanked Mark later for the _Jinyoung_ incident. Forget half mast; Jaebeom was erect as a flagpole on the 4th of July. All thanks to Mark.

Mark. Goddammit. Mark. Fuck. He looked at his lover. _His_ lover. His _Lover_ . Should this be a thing? Maybe. Mark looked the same. Drool-worthy and leapable. Holy wow - did Mark look this good before? Jaebeom slapped himself mentally. _Well, duh, it's not like he's going to change in only a few weeks._

It _had_ been too long. His eyes roved over the older man. God, he looked so good. He felt so good. And he smelt so goddamn good. Jaebeom had missed the feel of Mark, the scent of him, the comfort the man brought to him. He wanted nothing more than to be naked, surrounded by Mark's warmth, holding his lover, filled with him. He moved a hand to top the one on his leg, feeling Mark's slim fingers beneath his palm. He couldn't help but rub his thumb over the back of Mark's hand. The older man's eyes darkened the longer Jaebeom stared at him and Jaebeom swallowed hard at the fire that was burning in the other man's gaze. The grip on his leg tightened before moving up dangerously close to his already half hard dick. Fuck, Mark. He drew a harsh breath as feeling surged through his body; he wanted nothing more than to leap on his man and have his fill of him. Instead, he stayed seated, hiding his rapidly growing erection beneath the table. He pulled his hoodie down further in the hopes that nobody would notice. Sweatpants hid nothing - _nothing_ . And the blonde sat there, holding his leg and staring at him with a smile on that beautiful face. His eyes holding warmth and desire, but it was mainly happiness that radiated from him; the same type of happiness that Jaebeom felt was emanating from himself. And maybe a bit of horniness. Mark squeezed his leg, long fingers brushing indelicately against the edges of his balls. Okay, a lot of horniness. Jaebeom wondered briefly if others could see how close they were to ripping off each other's clothes and fucking right there. Mark casually dressed in jeans, tee, and a leather jacket - all adding up to some kind of hotness that was making Jaebeom salivate like crazy. He worried that it would be obvious that he was drooling over his man. Oh, who cares - he was drool-worthy. And dear god, that face - all cheekbones, pink lips, and blond hair; pushed back off his face, coupled with that grin and those long canines, making Mark look like a modern day vamp. _Bite me._

All of _that_ making Jaebeom's heart pound hard in his chest, threatening to jump out.

Fuck it. He was going to take whatever he could get. Jaebeom leaned in. "You left Japan to come here. How long have we got together?" His voice was low, want deepening it further.  But Jaebeom's heart stopped as Mark looked at him carefully before briefly dropping his gaze to the floor. Alarm bells sounded in his head. "What's wrong?" he croaked out.

Mark looked back up to meet his worried gaze. "About that… I should probably tell you something fairly important and I'm not sure how you're going to take it."

"Oh?" Jaebeom's heart started to thump in alarm as a million scenarios went through his mind at a rapid pace and his dick was dying a slow death as he imagined all kinds of declarations. _He's married. He's engaged. He's bisexual and has a girlfriend. He had an accident and lost use of his dick. Fuck, he's decided he's full-on heterosexual._ All of them bad to worse to really, really bad.

"I live here."

 _Huh?_ Jaebeom's brain wasn't expecting that. _So… not married?_ "Huh?" Jaebeom's brain was slow in churning through the information. Mark lives here? What - _now_? Recently? Like he moved here? "What do you mean?" he asked, dumbly.

"Huh? Intelligent response, Jaebeom-ah. I was expecting something more." Mark shook his head. Mark slowly replied, "I live here. In Seoul. I was in Tokyo for work. I don't live there. _This_ is where I normally live. This is my home."

Jaebeom clenched his eyes shut before forcing them wide open to stare at Mark. "What? You live here. In Seoul? Like for real? Like your home? Not Japan?"

"Yes," answered Mark simply. Jaebeom stared at him, a million questions and statements rushing through his head at once and not one making a single bit of sense. _He doesn't live in Japan. He doesn't live in Yokohama. He doesn't live in another country. He lives here - in the same country, in the same city. But...huh?_ In the end, his head hurt too much and he decided to put them all aside and work through them later. For now, he would just accept whatever Mark had to say.

"Okay," he breathed, finally. Jaebeom was almost certain he would be asking a lot once the hangover was clear and he was fully functional again. Until then, any questions could wait.

"Okay?" Mark raised his brows questioningly.

"Well, it was not expected and I am pretty sure I will have a bunch of questions once my brain functions again but for now, okay."

He watched as Mark leaned back in his chair and stared at him, a frown on his face. "Really? That's it? No 'hey, why didn't you tell me this before?' No 'how could you keep this from me?' No 'hey that's convenient - let's go back to yours and Netflix and chill!' Really? Like, really?"

Jaebeom shrugged. "For now, sure. That's it."

Mark's smile was broad as he leaned back in and Mark's hands were back on his face, smoothing over his cheeks, touching, caressing. "Jaebeom, you are amazing. Why have I waited so long to come get you?"

"I don't know - why did you?" Jaebeom stopped and looked at him. "Actually, yeah, it is convenient and we so should go back to yours, but yeah, why did it take you so long to come to get me? I mean, I practically gave you an engraved invitation and yet, you waited?" The feel of Mark's fingers tightening on his face, seeing the regret on his beautiful face and Jaebeom knew he wasn't being fair, but it hadn't been fair. He had been pining for his Mark, for this beautiful man, and all the while this man had been taking his sweet as time to come get him. He was ignoring the rational part of his brain that said the man had been working which was more than what Jaebeom had been doing. Ignoring that small fact to be somewhat petty. "For all you know I could have been dating someone else, or found a new man, or… or...been reclaimed by Jinyoung… okay, wait, no… but or something!"

But then Mark had to be wonderful and sweet and make Jaebeom want to melt… Mark moving his hands to hold both of his hands tightly. And his voice was just melodic as he lowly intoned, "I'm sorry, baby boy. I wanted to come earlier but I was scared. I-I-I didn't know what you wanted during our time together, but then I realised that I wanted to come see you, to come talk to you, to see if what we had was as beautiful as I felt it was and if you wanted to see where it would take us. I just… just didn't want to come after you if you didn't want to take it any further. But then you left that note and I felt it was okay for me to come after all."

Mark cared about him. Mark _cared_ about him. _Mark_ cared about _him_ . Jaebeom's mouth wobbled a bit as feelings caught in his chest. Fuck his hangover. He kept feeling things. Mark kept making him feel things. Mark was just perfect. "Why are you so damn perfect?" Jaebeom muttered. He looked at Mark and his perfect, stupid face. "You...you always place _my_ feelings first. First, with what I want to do in Tokyo, then with our trip away, and all the times you are trying to make up what my ex did to me when it wasn't even your fault! And now here you are, making me feel like this. Why?!" Jaebeom felt all pouty and grumpy. _Damn you, Mark Tuan._

"How am I making you feel?"

"Like I am something special."

"But you are."

"But …"

"But nothing," stated Mark firmly. "Jaebeommie... I'm here. I'm talking to you. In the flesh."

"Yes, but…"

"God, I hate that man for the number he did on you. You are special, Jaebeom-ah, to me, otherwise, I would never have worked as damn hard as I have over the past week finishing up my work and then catching the first flight home despite it coming it so damn late last night."

"You came in last night?" Jabeom hadn't realised that Mark had only arrived in last night. Jaebeom was floored. Mark had thought of him first. He had messaged him as soon as he had arrived into the country. Just… wow. He stared at his man in wonder.

"Yes, surely you would have guessed from the time on my first message?"

"No, I didn't even check…How… what… I'm not…"

"If you say to me again that you are just not that damned special, I swear to god, I will pick you up and throw you over my shoulder and take you home. I'm having enough trouble keeping my hands off you as it is."

Jaebeom watched Mark shift in his seat and he was stunned when he belatedly realised as to the reason why. Was Mark horny? Was Mark hard? Part of him was tempted to peek down to check anyway. He met the elder's eyes as Mark sighed.

"Look, I'm going to be doing my damnedest to prove to you that you are worth something and that I am here to chase after you because you are _worth_ chasing after. Okay, I know that Jinyoung did a number on you. And I know that you somehow think that you aren't worth being chased after. But you are. I know you are." Mark leaned in, pulling Jaebeom towards him and closing the space between them. Jaebeom caught his breath at the closeness. He could just about kiss Mark again if he leaned forward ever so slightly. However, Mark was still speaking… "I know we said it was a holiday thing but, Jaebeommie, as soon after we spent time together I knew I wanted more. And when you left me that message and where to find you, I knew that I should collect what's mine."

Jaebeom's mind was slow to catch up. He was still stuck on wanting to kiss Mark and Mark saying he was here to chase after him. Him. Wow. He focused on what else Mark had said. "What's yours?" he asked his heart in his throat.

Mark gazed straight at him. "You are."

Jaebeom sat back, his lip caught in his teeth. The feelings that Mark stirred up were strong; the feeling of being wanted, of being desired, of being worthy once more. The overall feeling was overwhelming. "Aish…" he breathed, shaking his head.

Mark leaned forward grabbing his face between his hands. "Jaebeom. You said come and get it. I'm here. You are mine."

Jaebeom stared at him, hope in his heart. "Is that a confession?"

Mark stared back at him. "Are you taking it as one?"

Jaebeom paused and thought for a moment. "No?" he said finally. But it sounded like a question, rather than a statement.

"Good," Mark said, a tilt at the corner of his mouth. "Because when I confess to you, and I will, believe you me, there will be moonlight and roses, even though I know you hate that and don't ever seem to want or expect it."

Jaebeom felt his heart stutter at Mark's soft declaration. He was going to confess, just not right now. But the intent was there. Oh god, his heart was full to bursting. His desire to have Mark come after him and to be more than a holiday fling was really happening. He still couldn’t quite believe that Mark was really here. Seoul. His town. His home. His lover was here with him. Wanting him. Like he wanted Mark.

Jaebeom took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He looked at the blond, all his thoughts jumbling up in his head and nothing really coherent coming out. He eyed that mouth, wanting to press his lips against them again. Why had they spent a useless week apart?

"You could have messaged me, you know," he accused. Jaebeom hated that he sounded so petty and pouty but he couldn't help it. He'd agonised over so many scenarios this past week, wondering why the man hadn't called or messaged him. He had even searched the internet to see if there were any issues messaging between Japan and South Korea. He wasn't about to tell anybody else that though, and his internet history was clean and wouldn't incriminate him. Much. He continued to gaze at the blond, observing the older man and saw Mark's eyes soften in understanding before feeling Mark's hand against his cheek. He'd forgotten how much he loved the feel of Mark against his skin. He leaned into the warmth, nuzzling against it, relishing in the comfort it provided against his demons.

"Aish…, I'm sorry, Jaebeom-ah. I had considered it! But I really didn't want to do it half-assed. I didn't want to talk to you only to have you be so far away." Mark's voice floated over him. "I couldn't contact you until I knew I was free to come home to get you, you dumbass."

"Well, I don't care. I wanted you to call." He knew his voice was a mite petulant, and he was well aware that he had stuck out his lip in a pout even as he leaned into Mark's hand, but he couldn't help himself.   _'... until I knew I was free to come home to get you.'_ Everything about that statement made Jaebeom internally squeal like a teenage girl. He came to get him.

He heard Mark snort. He looked across at the older who was giving him a very indulgent but pained look. "Please don't do that, Jaebeommie. My heart can't take it."

He looked at the man as the blond stared him down. He tried for innocence. "What was I doing?"

Mark laughed, shifting his hand down to the side of Jaebeom's neck. "Don't even try being cute and innocent with me, Jaebeom-ah. I know you are far from innocent."

Jaebeom grinned before laughing with Mark. They shared the laugh before slowing to soft smiles and simpering gazes. Everything was fine. They were here - together. Mark came for him. Jaebeom was stuck on that. His brain kept repeating it over and over and over again.

“You came.”  
  
Teasing eyes stopped and held his. “I did - many times."

Jaebeom felt his face flush with colour at the double meaning. He heard Mark chuckle lightly while smoothing Jaebeom's skin with his thumb, sending a riot of feelings down through his body, and making Jaebeom want Mark to do more to him. But Mark just continued speaking, "But yes, this time, I came _for_ you.”

Another thrill went through Jaebeom at Mark's words. Did he really mean it? Did his Mark come all the way here because he missed him?

“Yes. I mean it. I’d like you to know I came for you and you only,” Mark stated with a tilt to his lips and a tongue braced against the corner of his mouth. That grin Jaebeom loved so much smirked at him as those eyes held his with so much warmth. He felt the answering surge through his body and his dick stirred at the feelings that Mark caused him to feel.

Jaebeom gave a small laugh as he realised that he'd voiced his thoughts out loud. "You'd better only come for me and only me," he teased.

Where was this bravery coming from? It was only a short time ago that he'd been agonised over the demise of a ten-year relationship and now here he was being suggestive and confident with this fucking god of sexiness.

His tongue worried at the corner of his mouth and he watched as Mark's eyes were drawn to the movement. He paused before realising what Mark was looking at and he grinned mischievously before he teased and ran his tongue along his top lip. He smirked as he noticed the deep breath that Mark drew, the tight clench of his hands on his face, and the bite of his teeth on his lower lip. Oh yeah, he could do this. Jaebeom ached to lean across, to run his thumb over Mark's mouth and tug that lip out from where it was caught in Mark's teeth. It would be warm, slick and slightly puffy and it would draw Jaebeom in to suck on it, to tug it between his own teeth, before capturing the older man's mouth with his own…

He leaned forward, following his instinct and allowed himself to kiss his lover like he wanted to. "I want you now," he said after kissing Mark thoroughly. "Wanna come back to my place for ramyeon?" 

Mark stopped and looked at him. "Did you mean this as a cheesy way of saying of come to my home for a cup of coffee?"

Jaebeom looked at him and shook his head slowly. Maybe Mark didn't know what that meant.

"I was hoping you meant that as an indirect way of saying let's go home so we can be naked and I can touch you to my heart's content." Mark cracked that wide grin that Jaebeom loved so much, eyes shining with happiness, all for him - for him, Im Jaebeom. Jaebeom's heart thudded in his chest, feeling like a lovestruck teenager.

"I did."

Mark let out an explosive breath and grabbed Jaebeom's hand. He dragged him up and out of his seat, pulling him into his body and kissing him thoroughly. Jaebeom felt out of breath when Mark finally released his lips and murmured, "Let's go. Now. I can't keep my hands out of your pants for much longer." Jaebeom quirked his brows, smirked and nodded.

_You make me feel teenager..._

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think? Yeah so again, sorry I haven't updated! Thank you so much for commenting, waiting, and still being here, and thank you for those who slid into my DMs on Twitter and let me know that you miss this story. Really helped with getting me motivated after the time away! Hit me up in comments or on Twitter (tjbaby101) if you feel the need!


	22. One Way or Another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Mark and Jaebeom make it home before they leap on one another?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments. They are very motivating!!! I now have a number of chapters banked and will release in due due course, thanks to all the lovely comments.

* * *

 

Jaebeom allowed himself to be dragged out of the cafe and toward the nearest train station, smirking as Mark showed his impatience to be with Jaebeom. It was a little difficult making their way to the station when the older kept stopping in secluded doorways to make out. But pretty soon after, it was not entirely clear who was dragging whom where but they hindered their progress well because of, well, one another. Jaebeom didn't think either one of them really minded all that much. Speaking for himself, he knew he didn't. Making out with Mark was a pastime he could get behind. Jaebeom couldn't help himself - he had to touch Mark; partly because he still couldn't believe the man was there in his city, and partly because he could never keep his hands off Mark at any given time since they first slept together. At first, it was the brushing of the back of their hands as they walked along, then it was an arm slung over the shoulder, then it was his palm at the base of Mark's long neck that Jaebeom wanted to suck and lick all over; it was the hand that danced its way down the slender man's back to brush along the curve of his ass before rising back up to rest at his slim hips. All touches that Jaebeom felt he needed to do to reassure himself that Mark was really there. And could he help it if it looked like he was basically copping a feel and refreshing his memory of what his body had missed?

Not only him either, he suspected Mark felt similarly... Jaebeom happily filed away the fact that as they walked, Mark loved to constantly nuzzle his neck, in that sensitive small hollow beneath his ear, breathing over his skin and sending electrifying tingles through his body; that those lips would curve up into a gentle smile or a teasing smirk and that his man would occasionally pull him into a meeting of lips or a kiss on the head after some lingering _hot_ glances. He figured it meant Mark couldn't help himself either and he couldn't help but wear a self-satisfied look on his face. He'd rather wear Mark though. It was all the touching and the teasing; the long and lingering sex and love-filled glances, the gratuitous groping, kissing and sweet, sweet, nuzzling that delayed their journey. It was a wonder they were making any headway at all - really. Not that Jaebeom minded all that much. It's just he was starting to regret living so far away from the cafe. "God, where is a love hotel when you needed one?" His brain was fuzzy as Mark bit at his collar bone, chuckling at his off hand remark. Mark agreed though, "I know, right?"

When Mark had said earlier that he couldn't keep his hands off Jaebeom any longer; it was then that Jaebeom realised that he wanted Mark to fuck him. Not just make love or do any of those sentimental word things; _he_ was Mark's baby boy; he wanted to be Mark's _only_ boy, but he really just wanted to fuck. Hard. Get all the frustrated feelings, heartfelt sickness, desire, want, and longing out of the way. He'd missed Mark. He missed the way that Mark felt inside him, the way Mark made him feel when he was inside him and most of all, he missed the way Mark kissed him when the older became undone inside him. And he kept saying this to Mark along the way as they made their way to the train station. "Fucking is what we should be doing, Mark," he panted, breathing hard after he had pulled the older in to yet another tug-and-frisk in a secluded empty doorway.

"Shut up and kiss me already, Jaebeommie."

Jaebeom complied, with a cheeky smile and a swipe along the older man's top lip. He nipped the growl that fell from Mark's lips and swallowed the resulting moan, chuckling. Jaebeom found Mark very dominant right now. And holy shit, that was hot.

"You are so fucking hot right now. All growly and dom…"

"Really? You like that, huh?"

He nodded at Mark's knowing grin. He winked. "You know it, babe." Something in him was thrilled when Mark growled before biting at his neck.

Throughout their time apart, Jaebeom hadn't had the edge taken off his very frantic libido because it seemed that only Mark could do that, no matter how many times he came while they were apart. He wanted Mark. His body wanted Mark. And now Mark was there and he was ready to fuck and be fucked right there. Jaebeom couldn't help himself - he wanted them to be free for all - all hands, lips, clothes being shucked off …But, oh no, Mark had to be all gentle and loving and beautiful words and Jaebeom just wanted to scream because he wanted hot hot hot fucking and the loving stuff can happen after they were both fully sated.

But then Jaebeom got his wish and it was hands and heat and Mark switching things around and pushing him back against the wall, and _oh god,_ Mark's hands were finally on his cock, inside his pants, _oh fucking hell, that was good_ … "Commando, baby boy?" … he nodded as those slim fingers wrapped tightly around his length. "Good boy." _Oh, fuck._ Jaebeom fisted his hands on Mark's hair at those words.

But then his grip tightened…

His balls ached and his hips jerked. It was the feel of Mark's hand moving over his chest, under his shirt, lips moving along with, and the slide and tug of the hand on his cock - Jaebeom held onto Mark for dear life. _Yes. Fuck yes._ It was the warmth of his lips enclosing one of Jaebeom's nipples coupled with that tongue flicking and teasing that had the brunet moaning and groaning and his hips rolling.

"Markmakemecumpleasecumpleasemeplease…" the gibberish that left his mouth when Mark hit him with a triple attack; Mark's warm hand palmed his cock; a finger and thumb pinched his erect nipple, and Mark's mouth suckled on the crook of his neck… _Dear god yes god oh god yes yes yes_ … Jaebeom found his cock was so hard, leaking pre-come like nobody's business, his mouth opened and closed like a fish, and his legs buckled unable to support him with a suddenness that surprised even himself. But Mark, pressed up hard against him, kept Jaebeom from sliding down the wall. And those fingers? They had slid further around and were brushing over his entrance in a way that had Jaebeom's jaw dropping open, his eyes closing tightly and his lungs forgetting to breathe... _Jesus fucking Christ..._ his hole was clenching and unclenching so fast as Mark's fingers glided around the rim and pressed against him.

'Be careful what you wish for,' Jaebeom thought hazily, uncaring that his shirt was pulled up to his shoulders and bared his chest for all to see. He couldn't care that his cock was half outside of his pants and that anyone could see them. He just didn't want Mark to stop. Tingles ran constantly through his body and his balls kept tightening then calming then tightened again, threatening to lose its load constantly as Mark licked and sucked his way over Jaebeom's pliant and willing body and his fingers teased and touched his rim.

 _God, what he would do to be a genie and blink them to his bed right now._ He groaned as he thought of how far they still had to go. "When did they move the train station to be so far away?" The sound of Mark's throaty chuckle was muffled against his skin but the corresponding vibration sent even more tingles through his already sensitive body. He let out another stifled groan as the blond rolled his hips against him and Mark's clothed cock slid against his unclothed one in a friction-filled slide.

"Jaebeom…" Mark's voice was deeper, huskier, and Jaebeom felt the answering pull of his groin.

"Fuck... Mark…"

He also wanted those pretty lips wrapped around him. God, he just wanted everything. With great effort, he made himself stop so they could get to the train and thus, his apartment. Jaebeom gave the elder man a regretful final kiss before pushing him away while tugging his shirt down and his pants up. "God, you're so fucking delicious, Mark. But… _oh god, you taste so good_... we should go. We might get arrested for doing this on the street..."

"You're so right…" Mark kept kissing and licking at his lips, trapping his hands at his waist.

"Yah! Hajima!" Jaebeom had to push Mark away again as the blond tried his damndest to stay close and touch him again.

"Ok, ok, ok…" the elder sighed and Jaebeom could finally free his arms. He slumped against the wall as Mark took deep breaths to calm himself down. The older looked hard at him and the hunger in Mark's eyes made Jaebeom heart leap. One hand slapped against the wall by his head, trapping him against the wall. "Let's go, Jaebeommie," he growled. "I've had a lot of time to imagine more things about you this week. Now, how about you let me show you?"

"You talk as if it's me denying you!" he scoffed as Mark led him out of the doorway. He tugged Mark in the opposite direction - the right direction of the station - before Mark led them the wrong way… again.

The older pouted and dragged his heels. Oh god, so cute. "Stop denying me access to this body," the older man whined as he pulled Jaebeom and backhugged him as they walked along.

Jaebeom turned his head and gave him a look. "I wasn't the one who thought he would wait before coming to get me," he reminded the older man, acerbity colouring his tone.

He could feel the vibrations of the grumble from the other man as Mark rested his chin on his shoulder. "Oh, shush. It seemed a good idea at the time." The pout was cute even in his voice - Jaebeom gave an 'awww'. The other man hit him. "Stop teasing me."

Jaebeom pulled him into yet another doorway and smashed their lips together as he grabbed Mark's ass.

" _That's_ teasing." he panted, breathless as they parted. "So… was it still a good idea to keep us waiting?"

Mark's hands were tight on his ass too. _Oh yeah baby, grab my ass._

Mark pressed a small tight kiss to his lips that made Jaebeom chase after them for more.

"I'm so regretting it now I have you in my hands. Yes."

Jaebeom got another peck on the lips and he grinned at his minor success. Mark smiled back at him.

"God, I, shit, Jaebeom-ah, oh, hell... I really like you."

Jaebeom's heart stuttered.

"A lot a lot. But I'm not confessing! I'm just telling you how I feel."

Jaebeom's heart fluttered.

"I hope you like-like a lot a lot me back."

Jaebeom's heart stopped. _God, yes._ His heart started to beat again. _Oh, I definitely like you, too, don't you worry. In fact, I love you._ But he knew he couldn't say that. Not yet. Instead, he nodded.

Mark gave him a warm smile. "Let's go."

He stared at Mark's back as Mark pulled him along, a small smile on Jaebeom's lips. He felt very giggly all of a sudden.

* * * * *

Mark's thoughts were in a whirl. He had managed to just about confess to Jaebeom - _what the fuck was that, Mark?_ \- and his brain was mentally berating him for being an awkward dumbass. God, could he sound any more retarded? He tried to walk faster as if to get away from the scene of dumbassery but the walk back to the station was way too crowded for Mark as commuters made their way to work - it was frustrating as hell, at least for Mark. Didn't they all know that he had places to be, Jaebeom to do??? He wanted nothing more than to get back to Jaebeom's place, strip the man naked, and make sweet, sweet love to him. Okay, maybe that was a bit of a lie - he wanted to fuck him good, and _then_ make sweet love to him. He groaned inwardly as his cock twitched and his balls ached - a reminder that he hadn't yet achieved this aim.

Time had seemed to stop when they had been sitting in the cafe, but the world hadn't so they were stuck in peak commuter traffic hell.

He and Jaebeom stared at one another as they stood waiting for their train; he noted that Jaebeom's eyes roved over his face as much as he stared at Jaebeom's. And every now and again, both of their mouths twisted into a satisfied or teasing smirk. He especially noted when Jaebeom would stare avidly at his mouth and the boy's mouth would drop open as his thoughts would take him places, and Mark sincerely hoped Jaebeom's thoughts were as lascivious as his own were. Because his thoughts were very very salacious and were all about the younger's mouth on his dick, on his mouth, or just generally anywhere on his body.

When the train arrived, he had thought that maybe it would be easier on him, however, being peak hour meant being pressed up hard against one another on the train, along with everyone else.

And that also meant being pushed up against one another.

And being jostled about wasn't good for either of their already raging libidos. No, no, it wasn't.

Mark _definitely_ noticed how Jaebeom _definitely_ wasn't prepared for how quickly he would get hard sliding against Mark's body in the subway.

And he _definitely_ was not prepared for how much he wanted to grab the hard cock rubbing against him.

He rubbed his body up against his boy after another bout of crowd pushing against them. _Wait. Was that a moan?_ Mark quirked a brow questioningly. What a day to pick to go commando, Jaebeom. He knew Jaebeom was going commando because of his unfettered access to his boy's cock. But no one else did. Who was he kidding? Mark glanced around and while he really enjoyed how visible his boyfriend's cock was in his semi-hard state - and in full erect mode - he helped Jaebeom cover up with his gym bag when they moved off to the platform. No one else needed to enjoy that.

"You're a shithead, you know." Jaebeom sided to him as they shuffled to the escalators. "You didn't have to rub yourself against me like that."

Mark grinned unashamedly, "But Jaebeommie, you seemed to like it? I _heard_ that moan. _Everyone_ heard that moan." He chuckled as the younger man's face bloomed with colour. "Come on, let's get to your place before you die from embarrassment and I get blue balls." He squeezed his shoulder before pulling him into his side. "God, you're cute, you know."

"I'm not cute," Jaebeom grumbled, settling into his side.

"Handsome then." He stepped onto the escalator, Jaebeom stepping in behind him.

"No."

He turned and looked at the dark haired man. Mark thought Jaebeom was even cuter now he was pouting. He laughed as he stepped off and waited for Jaebeom to reach his side. He slung an arm over his shoulders. "Then what are you?"

Jaebeom flashed him a grin before he pushed against Mark's side as they reached the turnstiles. "I'm sexy."

Mark laughed at the younger before he, too, exited through the turnstiles. "Sexy, hmm? He winked and licked his lower lip. "Maybe. You need to prove it to me first." He waggled his eyebrows at a stunned Jaebeom before he walked ahead. He laughed to himself as Jaebeom yelled "Hey!" behind him and heard the footsteps that came after him.

Mark stopped and turned, waiting for the younger to catch up. He held out his hand for him to take. "You're not the only one with dibs on being sexy, you know," he said loftily.

Jaebeom just gave him a look before pushing at his shoulder. "Hey! Modesty is a virtue, didn't you get taught that?"

"Aww, cute!"

"No! Not cute! Sex--sexy! Aish!" Jaebeom grinned unabashedly, sending flutters of something through Mark. _God, he really really liked this man._

Jaebeom bowed his head slightly. "Ah, really, I'm sorry. I will pull my big head in."

Mark laughed before pulling in Jaebeom to his side once again, his lips pressing into the younger's hair briefly. "Don't. It's ok. It only proves that I have brilliant taste because I'm only drawn to incredibly sexy and good looking things... and that in itself means I'm sexier."

"You're a fuckhead." Jaebeom's voice was soft and Mark grinned.

"You love that about me."

"I-no." Jaebeom shook his head, his grin wide.

Mark found himself declaring, "Well, I love yo..," _Shit_. "...that about you." Mark's heart hammered in his chest as Jaebeom looked at him with wide eyes. He quickly pulled the man's head into his neck. They walked along in silence for a moment, climbing the steps out of the station. He floundered for something safe to say. "Shh...show me where to go - I have no idea where you live in this city."

"You mean, you didn't look at the address I wrote at the bottom of the photo?" the teasing note was back in Jaebeom's voice and Mark's heart slowed back down to a manageable beat. "Did you get distracted by something pretty? Or something hard?"

Mark gave him a look. Mark shook his head and chuckled. "It was something _very_ pretty and hey, it could have been a fake address. Who in their right mind gives a real address to someone they only just met?"

"Who in their right mind travels with a stranger on their holiday?" countered Jaebeom.

"Who jumps off a bridge and kisses someone they don't know? A bit desperate if you ask me..."

"Who swooped in and felt me up while pretending to be my boyfriend in front of my ex???"

"Someone who doesn't want to see a grown man cry in a train station - I mean, no-one wants to see that. You would have looked cute and pathetic though."

"Hey! You!"

Mark laughed. Jaebeom had grasped his neck and was pushing him downward in jest. Mark kept laughing at the younger's reaction and allowed himself to be bent down. He felt the other ease up and he pulled himself out of the younger's grasp, and jumped out of easy reach.

He teased Jaebeom further. "Can't have you breaking down in front. People might think it's my fault. Besides," Mark managed to dodge and keep himself out of Jaebeom's grasp, grabbing his hand and tucking it to his chest. He held it firm as he taunted, "it gave you a chance to paw me the way you'd been imagining i… Hey! Stop hitting me!"

They were both laughing in their enjoyment of each other. Mark liked this. He liked that Jaebeom felt free to be like this with him. He pulled the younger man into his arms, smiling, and waited until Jaebeom stopped laughing. They stood, looking at one another, and Mark felt gratified about his decision to come find Jaebeom.

"Did I ever tell you that I'm glad that Jinyoung turned up? Because then I got to hold you the way I had imagined?" He stared at the younger with soft eyes and his heart felt warm when Jaebeom's cheeks flushed with colour and that shy, but cute smile graced his face.

The younger shook his head as his smile grew wider. "I didn't know that. I-well-you thought about me?" Jaebeom bit his lower lip as he shyly smiled at Mark's admission. Mark loved that about him. Jaebeom was such an innocent in love and Mark knew then that he really wanted to be the only other one in Jaebeom's life.

He pressed a kiss on Jaebeom's lips, soft but lingering. "I always think about you, Jaebeom-ah. Since I met you, I have done nothing but think about you."

"I have thought a lot about you too."

Mark felt validation when he heard that from Jaebeom. He wasn't the only one, thank god. He held onto the younger one, feeling the more athletic build, the broader shoulders, and the lean muscles against him. He could hear his Jaebeom's breath, close to him, and not several thousand miles away. He could really get used to this - holding Jaebeom always. Mark slid his hand to the waistband of Jaebeom's sweatpants and fingered the waistband suggestively, as he slid his hand from the back to the front and let his fingers trail along naked skin. He felt Jaebeom shiver as he grazed 'the happy trail.' He took a deep breath.

Jaebeom grinned wryly. "Let's go, you impatient man. Don't start this again." Mark laughingly conceded that he was about to do that again. They started walking down the road when Jaebeom elbowed him. He raised his brows at the man. Jaebeom made a face and said, "If anyone should be complaining, it should be me. You're the one that kept me waiting for more than a week. I think I'm entitled to keep you waiting a bit longer."

Mark felt his brows raise. He was amused. "Is that right?" Mark intoned. "We'll see about that." Mark grinned.

It made Mark very happy to see his baby boy so happy. Jaebeom seemed lighter, more free here than Japan. But he wasn't so happy that they kept stopping for kisses and quick gropes - ok, Mark wasn't really complaining; he had his hands on Jaebeom finally. Anything more was a bonus. It made the past week or working late into the night and early mornings worth it.

"Mark… I missed you." Jaebeom's voice was soft.

"I know, Jaebeommie. I'm going to make it up to you."

"Good." He smiled at the obviously pleased tone in Jaebeom's voice. God, he felt bad at having made his boy miss him so much. He was going to have to do some serious making up for this past week. 'I'm sorry to keep you waiting, Jaebeom-ah,' Mark thought silently, looking sideways at his baby. He vowed to make it up to him a lot. Starting with making love to him in every possible way until his boy was sated and had had his fill.

Jaebeom seemed to get nervous as they got closer to his apartment. Mark didn't blame him. He knew he'd feel the same way if they were heading to his. This was the moment. This was when and where of how and when they got together properly. This is the moment to 'when' their memories would go back to, time and again as they spent their years together..

He gently squeezed Jaebeom's hand in silent understanding and received a grateful smile in return.

When they finally got into the stairwell at Jaebeom's apartment, Mark rushed them up the stairs, pulling on the younger man's hand and kissing him at every landing; willing him to understand how much he was loved and would be loved by him.

By the time they arrived at the door, it was all Mark could do to contain himself and not take Jaebeom as soon as the door was unlocked. Jaebeom grinned at him as he unlocked the door with his passcode. "Home," the dark haired man replied, pulling Mark in after him.

Mark grinned, allowing himself to be dragged in.

The door closed and they stood holding one another, relishing in the feel of each other. Mark smiled at the ready acceptance of Jaebeom - he had missed him so much.

"I missed you, Jaebeom-ah... so much," Mark started before pressing his lips to the younger's mouth. He swallowed the sigh that escaped his boy's mouth as gently but firmly, he brushed and teased the boy's mouth open. "Did I mention how much?" finished Mark. God, he really had missed this. He had missed _him_. He lingered, enjoying the moment of just being with him before hungrily deepening the kiss, pulling the more athletically built man into him and focused on ravishing his mouth. Correction, he was just taking his time to remember the feel, the touch, the taste… And, boy, his body recalled with startling clarity just how good they fit together. His cock was so hard. "Jaebeommie…" he murmured, moving his lips along the brunet's firm but delicious jawline, teasing his tongue into the hollow beneath his ear before succumbing to the call of the line of his throat all the down to his collar.

He wasn't sure who was clinging onto whom, but he knew his arms were wrapped tightly around his man's back, fingers digging into those broad shoulders while his mouth was busy sucking and licking along those strong and delicious collarbones.

" _Mark…_ " he heard his boy groaning above his head and he couldn't help but smirk against his skin. _He_ caused those groans. He shifted his hips, moving his leg between Jaebeom's thighs, causing their hardened cocks to rub against one another, making himself moan involuntarily and felt the answering jerk of his lover's hips and the unadulterated moans that left the brunet's lips. Hands clutched at his sides, forcing him closer and he felt the buck of his boy wanting more friction - more anything - as his own hands moved from holding his back to down his sides and sliding into those sweatpants. The pliancy in his boy's body as he palmed his boy's hard cock and the shudder he felt rock through the dark haired man's frame caused Mark to feel hotly protective of his man. And he moved to claim his man's lips again.

They kissed hard, more passion and lust colouring their kisses, but there was the edge of sweetness too, to their movements. This was not a quick fucking, but more like a loving return to a state of being that their bodies had missed.

Jaebeom pulled at Mark's tee as their mouths melded and moved together. And as one, they both pulled away to remove their shirts before falling back into one another's arms; their hands roving, moving and teasing, sliding and touching; shoulders, backs, chest, nipples, abs before both needing to be more naked. Their eyes locked firmly on one another as they went to shucked off their pants, then Jaebeom with one fluid movement stepped out of his sweatpants and caused Mark to almost lose his balance as he took in the muscular structure of his boy being finally in front of him again. Naked. Fully hard and very naked. Holy fucken shit. He bit his lower lip, hands paused at his open zip, as he slid his eyes all the way over every single inch of his man's form. Hot fucking dammit. He was the lucky bastard that got this. Fuck, how did he get so damn lucky? Oh, that's right, he'll be sure to thank Jinyoung next time he sees him, right after he punches him.

"Jaebeom-ah, you are so fucking beautiful…" he breathed, as he stepped toward his Adonis. He watched the colour bloom on Jaebeom's face, neck and he moved to take him in his arms. "You are beautiful - never doubt that."

"Mark…"

He looked up at his eyes. "Yes?"

"I love all this but shut up and fuck me already."

Mark grinned, licking his collarbone. "You're impatient, Bummie." He felt the moan climb in the younger boy's throat as he licked and teased the skin at the base of his throat, moving wetly up the column of his throat before swallowing the breathless anguished sound as he claimed Jaebeom's mouth once more. He held himself against the wall with his forearms, leaning into his boy's face and taking his man's mouth slowly, slickly, savouring the taste and texture of his boy while feeling the writhing of the younger's body against his. He could feel the grind against his cock, the push of his hips; and he wanted to climb inside his boy and hold him there forever.

"Mark, take off your goddamn clothes." He could feel Jaebeom scrambling at his jeans, trying to get them off.

"Mmm… soon." He was busy.

"Now." His baby was getting so impatient.

"Soon, impatient boy."

Mark held Jaebeom against the wall, grinding on him and pushing his jean-clad hips against Jaebeom's naked hard cock. The boy moaned desperately into his mouth. "Mark, take off the rest of your fucking clothes," breathed Jaebeom as their tongues slid against one another and he sucked on the older's bottom lip before releasing it. Mark chuckled before moving away, hands braced at either side of his waistband but Jaebeom was impatient and pulled his man's jeans down in one swift move, Mark stepping out of them as quickly as humanly possible, then it was Jaebeom pushing Mark back against the wall, claiming _his_ lips once more. Fuck, Jaebeom was hot when he took charge like this.

"Fuck, Jaebeommie… I want you baby boy..."

But it seemed that Jaebeom knew every move that Mark liked as Mark was pulled and pushed up breathless against a wall as his man attacked him with lips and hands and he found himself wanting the dark haired man so much more each time.

"Shit… Jaebeommie, you are driving me crazy." He tugged on Jaebeom's waist harder, wanting to be crazily close to him as they kissed harder. "God, I want you so much. I missed you so much."

"Aish… Mark…"

"Fuck, I'd do you here if it wasn't so damn uncomfortable." Mark kissed along Jaebeom's jaw, and down the column of his throat. "You're so damn attractive…." he murmured against his skin. He could feel his pulse beneath his lips. "How'd I get so lucky, huh?" Mark's hands roved, pulling Jaebeom into his body, and grinding him against his already equally hard cock.

"Oh god, _Mark…_ "

The moans from Jaebeom were driving him wild.

Mark renewed his attack on Jaebeom, feeling that hot, naked skin beneath his fingertips; feeling those muscles bunch against the pads of his fingers as he moved them around, touching, skimming lightly, digging into his sides when Jaebeom ground his hips into Mark's in a particular way…Then it was Jaebeom kissing him desperately, passionately, mouths open, tongues feuding, and, oh god, the taste of him was heavenly. Fuck fuck fuck _fuck_ . God, he wanted to fuck this man so fucking badly and told him so as he slid his hands down to grasp his curvy ass beneath his hands. _Fuck, Jaebeom had a great ass._ Mark leaned his head back against the wall as Jaebeom attacked his neck, feeling weak at the knees as the younger's mouth moved over his sensitive skin and his fingers tightened reflexively, squeezing the younger's ass cheeks even more. "Jaebeom-ah… we need to get to your...ahh... bed really soon...fuck baby... or I'm going to take you in this hallway - damned the bed."

But Jaebeom had other ideas and wasn't about to let Mark live.

Mark was pushed back hard against the wall, Jaebeom grinning and kissing him, sliding lips down the elder's neck, moving hands down his abs. Mark felt frustrated. "Come on, Jaebeom-ah…" Mark's cock was already hard and his balls were feeling too tight and Jaebeom wasn't helping. And he knew Jaebeom's cock was equally hard and judging from the moans from the younger's mouth as Mark dined on the skin of his throat, he too was not far from exploding.

Jaebeom pulled away, grinning slyly as he slid down Mark's body.

"What are you doing?!" Mark hissed in alarm, looking around wildly, even though he knew they were the only ones there at present.

Apparently, Jaebeom thought that taking a nipple in his mouth was sufficient answer. Mark groaned, feeling attacked by the younger, but feeling too weak to object strongly. Hot mouth over his nipple, teasing and flicking, Mark feeling entirely too weak at the knees, but hard as a rock.

"Fuck, Jaebeom, we're ..."

"Yes, I know. But I want you now." He dragged his hand downward and palmed his cock. Mark's cock was already leaking copious amounts of pre-come.

"Fuck, Jaebeom-ah,..."

"I _know_." The devilish way in which Jaebeom said that sent tingles down Mark's spine. Then it was a rush of air circulating around his dick as Jaebeom dragged his body down over his aching, leaking cock.

Jaebeom stared up at him and Mark tried hard to not lick his lips in anticipation of Jaebeom's pretty mouth on his dick. To be fair, Mark also tried for a bit of objection. Tried being the operative word, "We are almost at your bed..."

"Yes. We are."

Mark sucked in a breath at the hungry look in Jaebeom's eyes.

"Can we, oh jesus... Jaebeom... shit... oh god, shit that's good..."

Mark looked down to see Jaebeom grinning around his cock as he sucked and licked his way down the shaft, and around his balls. _Shit_ . He'd forgotten for a moment just how fucking good his baby boy was at this. No, he hadn't forgotten - he'd just misremembered… _This_ was better than what he had remembered. _Oh fuck yes._ Then thoughts left as that man moved back up slowly, antagonising slow that Mark was biting the back of his hand until hot tongue swirled around the head and he threw his head back as Jaebeom drew him into his hot, ever so fucking talented mouth.

"Fuck, _Jaebeommie..._ "

He could hear himself groaning and moaning and he clenched his hands by his sides as he tried to not fuck that mouth. But he felt his hips tensing and jerking as Jaebeom put his mouth to work and slid up and down his shaft, those beautiful lips tight around his really hard cock. He chanced to look down again and saw Jaebeom staring up at him, lips wrapped around him.

He couldn't help himself. He touched Jaebeom's cheek with one hand and curved his fingers around to cup his head, "God, you look so good." _God, he loved him._

Jaebeom smiled around Mark's cock briefly before sliding back down and taking Mark as far as he could.

" _God…_ " Mark threw his head back, sucking oxygen as fast as he was able to as his balls tightened. "Oh shit… fuck… oh god, Jaebeommie, I want to come in that mouth… ahhh… god, I'm so…" Mark swallowed hard, "so fucking close, oh god baby boy, fuck, yes..."

"Jesus, _fuck_ , Jaebeom! Oh fuck, god, I'm going to… oh fuck I'm coming…unggghhhh."

Dimly, he could feel himself pulsing as he came into his beautiful boy's mouth, felt the man swallowing, felt his tongue on the underside of his cock, pushing against him as he released all of his pent up cum in that beautiful mouth. That tongue swirled over his overly sensitive cock and he hissed and jerked as he slowly came back to earth.

"You fucking little ... God. Thank you." They exchanged kisses while Mark finished getting his breath back. He stopped the younger man as Jaebeom want to move away and pulled him back into his arms. "I should fucking punish you for that."

"Later," Jaebeom pressed a lingering kiss to Mark's lips. "Later. Then you can spank me, _Daddy_."

"Why, you…"

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me on Twitter if you feel the need... (tjbaby101) or post your frustrations below ;)


	23. Need You Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Jaebeom - the continuing saga 
> 
> Will Mark ask Jaebeom how he feels? Does Jaebeom really want to be a sugar baby? Tune in and see...

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_ Shit-fuck _ . Goading Mark had been such a bad but  _ great _ idea. Jaebeom felt like he was going to blow his load any second with all the stimulation that Mark was providing; lips on his ear, jaw, neck; hands on his nipples, ass, and hips; cock upon cock and whatever those legs were fucking doing to that inner thigh skin he didn't realise were so sensitive until now. He gasped as Mark slid his legs against his again and the fire burning inside grew to a roaring crescendo.  _ Fuck. Mark... Mark... Mark... holy... fuck...  _ He couldn't think. He could barely breathe. It was like stimulation and over-stimulation all at once; Mark's talented hands, lips, tongue roving all over his body, lighting a path wherever they touched his heated skin.

"D-do-do you think… fuck… w-w-we should move this to...oh god yes...oh god, baby... fuck yes… Mark...should we... the bedroom?" he panted leaning his head back, groaning as the blond made his way down his stomach, pausing at his belly button and Jaebeom gripped Mark's hair tighter as the slim man's tongue delved into that crevice and made his ass hole clench in that 'fuck do that here' kind of way.

He felt the other man silently laugh but nod. Jaebeom knew it was hypocritical of him, considering he'd denied the older of that minutes ago but then felt Mark nose his way down his happy trail and  _ that _ jaw bumped against his very erect cock and he stopped thinking about moving things to the bedroom.  _ Fuck moving. Stay here. Do that again.  _ Jaebeom couldn't wait; it had been too long and he wanted nothing more than for Mark to be in him now. And Mark's cock was hard again. He had felt it. And he wanted that. In him. Fucking him. 

"Lube?" he heard Mark say while his tongue dipped into Jaebeom's slit before encircling the tip of his cock.  _ Yes _ , his brain hissed.  _ Wait, fuck.  _ Jaebeom groaned as he realised Mark had a point.  _ Lube needed. Yes. Bedroom. Now. _

"Ok, let's go…" as he moved the smaller man off his cock before he dragged his man into his bedroom and quickly retrieved the lube and shoved it at a surprised yet naked Mark.  _ Rawr _ . "Now. Fuck. Now. Me. Hurry," he panted in between kissing and sucking Mark's lips and wrapping his fingers around that beautiful deep pink cock that looked like it needed to be in him.  _ God pretty please yes. _ "Please, Mark. Don't make me wait any longer. Just-just- fuck me. Then we can do lovey lovey all hugs and shit after. I need you in me."

He felt Mark shuddering in his arms as he slid his fingers up and down his cock and feeling the pre-come dribble over his hand. 

"Jaebeom… god... I need to prep you or it will hurt."

_ Why is his man being so damn reasonable and logical? _ He stopped and gave his man a look. "Mark… fuck… " He walked away, back to his bedside table. "I have been prepping for you for a fucking week. See this?! And this?!" He pulls out a dildo and a vibrator that had been in his bedside drawer and waves them at Mark. "These have been my friends while I thought about you. You! Mark fucking Tuan! Fucking me! Long and hard, short and sweet, and basically just a lot of it! So now,  _ you _ are going to lube up that gorgeous cock of yours and you are going to stick it inside my waiting hole and then I will fucking ride you until I'm done. Got it?!" 

"Ah, Jaebeommie…" 

_ No. No. No! Mark was not going to stall some hot hot fucking. Come on! _

"Don't you 'Jaebeommie me', you...person who kept me waiting!"

Mark wrapped his arms around him and kissed him soundly. Jaebeom pouted.  _ This didn't feel like fucking him, this felt like soothing… _

Mark petted his hair. Jaebeom frowned and pouted. 

"You are so worked up that when you come, it will be quick and it will make you see stars. You will come hard. I am going to make sure you come so hard." 

_ Ok, was that a promise?  _ Jaebeom sure hoped so. 

"But first…" 

_ No, no firsts... _

Mark kissed him so soundly that he forgot how to breathe.  _ God, Mark was so good at kissing him. _

"Jaebeom…" The sound of his name made the younger thrust his tongue further into the other man's mouth, touching and tasting and grappling with that tongue.  _ God, yes. _ It was the slickness, the smooth slide, along with the hot glide that made Jaebeom feel even more turned on and wanting to rub himself all over the older man. He gasped for air as Mark released his mouth and moved along his jaw and then it was hot shivers and electrifying tingles as Mark tickled that hollow beneath his ear before sliding wetly down the column of his throat, nibbling and sucking on his skin and Jaebeom could only stand helpless against the onslaught of one Mark Tuan.

"Ohhh…" was the only thing that could come out of his mouth as his breathing became laboured and he swallowed thickly as Mark nibbled along his collar. "P…"

Jaebeom didn't even know what that word was even meant to be, or if there was a sentence even attached; he just knew that his body was on fire and his nipples were begging to be touched again, and his cock, god, his cock was leaking and twitching and so hard. His balls were so tight and threatening to explode at the merest touch. He could only clutch at Mark's slim shoulders as his body pleaded for more… more touch, more licks, more kisses, more tease… more anything.

"Maa…"

His fingers scrambled for purchase against the other man, finding those slim hips and pulling them against him and thrusting his hips blindly to slide his cock against the other man's skin. He groaned as his cock found purchase and rubbed against the older man's cock, feeling their pre-come allowing for a slicker glide against one another. He licked his lips in recollection of the taste of his man on his tongue. Then his tongue was claimed once more by the warm mouth of the older, his tongue teased with the other's as the other man fingered his nipples and boldly gripped his ass. He whined into the blond man's hot and willing mouth, and the other chuckled slightly, the vibrations adding another layer of torment to Jaebeom's racing heart and tortured body. 

"Jaebeom…?" 

He heard his name and he blinked his eyes open to find Mark's beautiful eyes staring intensely at him. He flushed as he acknowledged the hunger in his beautiful man. He licked his bottom lip and saw Mark's eyes follow the movement before returning to look at his. 

"No matter what you have done to yourself this week, I  _ will _ still be prepping you properly. As much as I want to take you against the wall, or on the bed, or on the floor, it has still been a week and I want you… god, I want you… but I need to know I have done everything I can to make you ready. I can't hurt you. Do you understand?"

He nodded meekly. 

And then the younger man felt himself being turned around and bent over gently. He willingly placed his hands on the bed and climbed up, kneeling on the covers. He dropped his head as he switched to bracing himself on his forearms and waited with bated breath as he heard Mark moving around him. He heard the flick of the bottle being opened. Jaebeom shivered as he felt Mark's lubed finger trail around his hole before slowly working its way in. The kisses on the small of his back were hot against his slightly chilled skin and because it was Mark, they imbued him with a sense of safety and security. He shivered in anticipation as he listened to Mark's voice, "I plan on being with you all day and all night…"

And it was with a sigh of relief and another shiver down his spine as he welcomed the gentle intrusion of his man's digit inside him. He felt the gentle press of Mark's lips against the small of his back as he was told, "I want to and will take care of you, Jaebeommie. I just… it would kill me to know I hurt you any more than I already have." 

He looked back at his man and his heart threatened to pound right out of his chest as he took in the serious and intense - but hot - look of concentration from his man. 

His man. 

His. 

Mark Tuan was his. 

He conceded Mark was right. Impatience could have hindered any other things they might want to do - like sex in the bath, on his desk, in the kitchen, on the couch. He wanted to have Mark in every which way and on every surface until his place was as much Mark's as it had been Jinyoung's. And he was touched that Mark cared so much for him. Because dammit, he cared so much for this blond who had just appeared in his world. Jaebeom wasn't certain yet, but he was almost certain he cared for Mark as much if not more than he had cared for Jinyoung. Mark was fast becoming everything right in Jaebeom's world. And Jaebeom wanted, not to erase all evidence of his previous relationship, but to add this warmth, this meaning to this apartment; to imbue it with feeling once again. Jaebeom shivered as his imaginings pictured Mark in nothing but Christmas hats, and birthday banners taking him and being taken by him. He silently thanked his lucky stars for his Mark. 

"Fine, prep me then," he pretended to huff, but then a groan was pulled out of him as Mark curled his finger inside him and the drag back sent tingles through his body. "Oh fuck it…  _ Mark _ ." The feel of another finger joining the other in sliding within him made him buck and jerk and he felt Mark's hand on his back, grounding him. He shook his head as the throbbing in his cock grew stronger. "God, Mark… I think I will milk you of all the cum you are capable of and you better not say no to me." He could feel the slide of the well-lubed fingers, and they were sending even more tingles down his body. Tingles that lit up his nipples, made his cock harder, and his balls ache. He ached more as Mark smiled at him. God, he was so done for this man.

"Of course," the elder man agreed even as he pushed his fingers further in; Jaebeom feeling them gliding in and he moaned as the long lean fingers brushed over that sensitive area inside him. 

"I'll hold you to that," he breathed as he tried to calm his wildly erratic heartbeat and his madly twitching cock as he felt the slow drag of the older's fingers sliding back.

"I will never say no to you, Jaebeommie. Never."

_ Good. _ Because Jaebeom wanted Mark to hurry up. He could only feel two of Mark's fingers sliding in and out of him.  _ They weren't even scissoring him yet! _ He wanted so much more. Groaning, Jaebeom dropped his head onto his forearms, breathing harder, and pushed his legs wider as he arched his back. "Then can you scissor me already or put three fingers in so you can finally fuck me until I see stars?" he asked plaintively. He grunted as Mark pushed in deeper. He wanted Mark to be as hungry as he was. He turned his head and looked at Mark, "... Daddy?" And he smirked as Mark's eyes darkened. God, he loved it when Mark got hot and bothered and turned on whenever he called him that. "Daddy, fuck me… deep. Oh god… like that...And slow. Want to feel me around your cock, daddy? I'd be so hot and tight… daddy."

He watched as Mark's eyes fluttered closed briefly, those full pink lips moaning softly. "You're an evil man, Jaebeom-ah…" 

And Jaebeom rejoiced even as he held his breath as Mark scissored him wider causing him to arch and push his ass back towards the blond man.  _ Come to papa, daddy. You know you want this. _

"I'm … not evil… only when I'm very very …  _ fuck _ . And …  _ oh god _ …" Jaebeom's words stopped as he bowed his head, overwhelmed with how good it all felt. 

"Oh god, Jaebeom, I can't wait any longer…" He felt Mark slide his fingers out and his hole clenched around nothing, then...

_ Sing hallelujah. _

Mark's cock was finally, slowly, very slowly pushing past his rim and entering him.  _ Jesus fuck... oh god...  _ Oh god, the heat from Mark's cock was burning him from the inside and god, Jaebeom loved it. His rim clenched around the blond's hard, thick cock as the older man paused. Jaebeom breathed through his nose as the burn eased off and then he rocked his hips back, willing the older man to slide further into him. God, he wanted the whole cock and nothing but the cock. Blood rushing through his ears, pulse beating wildly, Jaebeom could feel Mark holding his hips, hot palms holding him tightly as the man rammed his length all the way in until he bottomed out. They both groaned as they felt their balls rub against one another, the extra stimulation making Jaebeom cry out and he whined as Mark stopped. He could feel the pulse of the older man's cock inside him. He wanted him to move, to start thrusting in and out of him, and he got his wish. He felt the drag of his man's length sliding back until the head hit his rim, then it was a loud cry ripped from his throat as Mark grabbed hold of his shoulder and rammed hard and fast with a single thrust until he was balls deep once more.  _ Hot fuck!  _ He couldn't voice it as his body was strung tighter than a violin string and arched back as he took his man's cock deeper.  _ Fuck Mark was in him. Mark. Fuck. Mark. Yes. Please.  _

The slender figure started to thrust that hard cock in and out of him, rocking back and forward, and Jaebeom could only keen as he felt the glide and slide of his man's hot thick cock filling him and sliding back. 

Dimly, he became aware of the stream of babble that filled the air and knew instinctively that was him but he couldn't help it. His head felt full, his body taut, and his hole was tingling with the intense stimulation of his man's cock. Jaebeom started to rock back, meeting the blond's  thrusts, then it was a hot palm on either hip, balls hitting his as his man thrust faster and faster and hitting that sensitive spot with unerring accuracy over and over until Jaebeom felt that familiar tightening in his balls.  _ Fuck. Oh fuck... _

"Mark… I'm … fuck I'm coming… babe… fuck……"

And it was with a hoarse cry ripped from his throat, his body strung taut, and his ass clenching tightly around his man's cock that Jaebeom for the first fucking time in his ever fucking life came without being touched and the ropes of cum came hotly out of his pulsating red cock to fall onto the bed and he could only see stars as his man rode him through his orgasm. And he dimly felt Mark coming inside him as they both groaned at finally being together. He could feel him pulsing and coming inside him. And his cock twitched and gave a final spurt.  _ Fuck, what a mother fucking ride. All hail the mother fucking King of fucking orgasms. _

* * * * *

"Come on, did you really think that this was going to fill my place? I mean they aren't even the same size." Mark idly fingered the abandoned sex toys on the bed as Jaebeom snuggled up to him - the two of them were both spent after that round. Mark had cleaned both he and Jaebeom after that intense orgasm and both he and Jaebeom were disinclined to let the other far from their reach. They lay in one another's arms, letting their thoughts wander. 

He felt Jaebeom move his head to look at him. "You're full of yourself aren't you?"

"No, you're full of me," he teased Jaebeom.

Jaebeom made a tsk noise and shook his head. "Ah, really? You are so corny. Like bad dad jokes."

"That's ok. You understand them and that's all that matters."

Jaebeom giggled. "Ah, jinjja? You are so cheesy."

"Ah, but you like me."

"Perhaps," sniffed Jaebeom, looking away.

Mark laughed. "Admit it. You do."

"I admit I find you... attractive," Jaebeom's fingers idly trailing on Mark's shoulder.

"Hot." Mark corrected. He sniggered inwardly at the disgruntled scowl on his boy's face.

"Hmm… "Jaebeom gave him a look. "I was going to say, pleasing to the eye…"

"Handsome," amended Mark.

Jaebeom rolled his eyes. "Annoying…"

"A turn on…" Mark altered with a small smile on his face.

Jaebeom turned incredulous eyes up to Mark. "Ah,  _ really? _ You think being annoying is a turn on?"

Mark goaded, "Being annoying  _ to you is _ a turn on - to you."

"No, it's not!" declared Jaebeom hotly. Mark howled with laughter while Jaebeom slapped him. Mark grabbed the annoyed yet laughing younger male in his arms. Jaebeom huffed, "Stop it! Ah, really!" 

The older grinned before rolling them both over until he was on top of Jaebeom. He stared down at a surprised Jaebeom. "I like you," Mark said quietly.

"Ah, jeez…" Jaebeom turned his head, his face blushing.

"I do," Mark repeated. "Do you like me?" peering down at Jaebeom, a small grin on his face. Jaebeom avoided his eyes and moved his head side to side, but Mark followed trying to meet his eyes. 

"Oh my god… you are so annoying!" Jaebeom was blushing and yet smiling at the same time.

"But you find me hot," he smirked, waggling his brows at the younger.

Jaebeom challenged, "Well, you find me sexy."

"No." Mark shook his head. "Cute."

"Sexy," Jaebeom insisted.

"Cute." Mark loved winding him up.

Jaebeom threw his head back. "Aish."

Mark laughed. He loved this. He loved the way they were together. It felt right. Why hadn't he done this before Jaebeom left Japan? He looked softly at the brunet laying beneath him. "Jaebeommie?"

"What."

"Go out with me? Be my boyfriend."

Jaebeom stared at him. Mark was starting to think that Jaebeom had had a minor heart attack with how still the younger man was being.

Finally, Jaebeom softly replied, "Really? You mean it?"

"Yes."

Jaebeom gave a small satisfied smile before rolling his eyes and looking away. He sniffed, "Ah, you just want me for my sexy charismatic body."

Mark smirked at the younger boy's pretence. "Is that a yes?"

"Maybe. Let's go to sleep. I'm tired."

"Are you playing hard to get? Because you realise I just came inside you, right? And I have marked you all over. I won't be letting go that easily."

Mark found himself rolled over and Jaebeom astride him, peppering him with kisses. "Yes. A fucking million times… yes."  

"What's with the sudden change of heart, huh?"

"Because you're an idiot and make stupid decisions that involve me languishing on my own in another country and I can't trust you with your own brain. I'll do your thinking for you."

"You're an idiot."

"Yes, but I'm now your idiot."

Mark found himself grinning widely. "Yes. Yes you are." He slapped his hand against his boyfriend's naked ass - his boyfriend. Mark felt giddy at that. "Come on, idiot. Let's go shower."

* * * * *

 

"Oh! What?" 

Jaebeom was startled by Mark pouring shampoo onto his hair. He made a face as he looked at the shampoo he'd just poured in his hand. Mark had already started to lather up what he'd poured into his head. Mentally shrugging, he let the water wash away the now excess shampoo and allowed himself to enjoy the feel of his boyfriend's hands through his hair. He rinsed off as Mark started on his own head. Jaebeom grabbed the body wash and lathered up, all the while just eying and appreciating his man's muscle defined body. God, he got lucky.

"Mark?"

"Hmm?

"Where do you live?"

Mark rinsed off under the showerhead. "Song ga-pu," he replied shortly.

"Hmm…"

"Why?"

"I just wondered."

Mark gathered him up in his arms and Jaebeom smiled at his man. 

"Are you trying to assess if I'm good enough for you?" Mark teased.

"Yeah, you know gotta check on whether you're a trust fund baby and all that."

"Well…" stalled Mark shutting off the water and grabbing some towels

"Oh my god, are you???" Jaebeom numbly took the towel from Mark's hands.

"Well, not exactly."

"What?" He stepped out and dried off. He was rubbing his hair dry and smirked at his new boyfriend through the mirror. "Am I going to be a kept man then? Oh my god, is my new boyfriend rich? Oh my god! I'm a sugar baby!"

Mark laughed. "Do you want to be? It looks like you are already pretty set up here and you have to admit, it's not a shabby apartment in the slightest."

"Thanks. Yeah, Jinyoungie and I bought it many years ago with the help of his parents."

For a brief moment, Jaebeom's thoughts took him back to when they had finally settled in and had invited the Parks over for dinner to see the house.

> _ "Jaebeom! Quick, they'll be here soon." Jinyoung had been panicking and fretting and he had set and reset the table several times over. He had grabbed his boyfriend and had held him firmly by the shoulders. "Nyoungie, stay calm. It'll be okay." _ __  
>  _ Jinyoung had nodded and had taken a few deep breaths. "I hope they like it." _ __  
>  _ "They will love it." _ __  
>  _ "They might think we are being too frivolous with their money. God, maybe I shouldn't have hung those paintings up. What if they resent helping us buy this place?" _ __  
>  _ "They love you. They won't. They are happy." _ __  
>  _ "No, correction - they love you. They think I'm a useless waste of space." _ __  
>  _ "They do not." _ __  
>  _ "Ok, but I'm the one that is supposed to carry on the family name." _ __  
>  _ "And you still might. We haven't got around to having kids yet." _ __  
>  _ "Oh my god, are we still going to do that? Think of the money!" _ __  
>  _ "But you want them." _ __  
>  _ "I do." _ __  
>  _ "Then we shall. That's why we bought this place remember?" _ _  
>  _ _ "I love you." _ _  
>  _ __ "I love you too. Now stop fussing and let's check on dinner."

The memory faded away and Jaebeom shook his head to clear it. He and Jinyoung had worked hard to repay the Parks their money. He would be forever indebted to them for their generosity. He felt a twinge of guilt for not visiting them since he and Jinyoung broke up.

He and Mark moved back into the bedroom and lay down in the bed. Mark leaned up on his elbow, staring at Jaebeom. Jaebeom thought he was very pretty like that. 

"Tell me about him - Jinyoung?" Mark asked softly.

Jaebeom thought about it. "There isn't all that much to tell - he and I met at school. We were good friends and then we realised that we loved each other."

"Did your parents know you were gay?"

"No... Jinyoungie and I… we came out together. We asked the parents around one night and told them together."

"That must have been hard." Mark's hand rubbed over his arm as he shivered with recollection. 

"It was nerve-wracking. I have never sweated so much in my life."

"So… you guys got to live the dream coming out of the closet then?" 

"I guess we did."

He snuggled up to Mark. He shared some more memories of Jinyoung and him and somehow it didn't hurt as he expected it to. He told Mark of their first meeting, and of their trial date. He told him about the time when he'd forgotten a family dinner and another time when Jinyoung had made reservations and they had forgotten about it and why. He told him of times that Jinyoung made his world the best place to be in and other times when it was literally the worst. He could see that they'd been happy, but he could also see when they weren't. 

"What happened between you guys? I mean, it seemed like you had it made. You had gotten past the seven-year itch after all. It should have been gravy after that."

Jaebeom hmmed. "I don't actually know. I have thought about it a lot. I guess, maybe, I was not around? Maybe it was that? I don't know. I thought we were so happy. Until I guess we weren't." He relayed yet another private thought about his time with Jinyoung and he could hear the small amount of regret in his own voice. He wondered how Mark felt about that.

He was startled when Mark suddenly kissed him. He returned the kiss, deepening it and feeling Mark's coaxing of his own desire. He loved kissing Mark. It wasn't a battle of wills, it was an exchange of feelings. And right now, it was telling him that Mark cared a lot about him. They finally paused, once more needing air. He stared into Mark's solemn eyes. 

"You ok? Did I bring up too many memories asking about him?"

"It's okay. I need to be able to talk about him."

"Yes. He's a big part of your life. You need to be able to talk about him. But I understand if it's weird to be talking about Jinyoung with me."

Jaebeom smiled wryly. "I'm okay. Honestly," he reassured the man. "You don't need to kiss and make it better."

Mark stared at him with a serious searching look for a bit longer before switching to a more light hearted tone. Jaebeom knew he'd done it for him. 

"Ah, you think I was kissing it away for you? I was doing it for me. Gosh, you give me entirely too much credit if you think I care about your feelings. You're so all self-centered now. I might have to rethink this boyfriend thing. I didn't realise this about you." Mark even threw in an eyeroll and winking at Jaebeom.

"Aiii!" Jaebeom laughed and pushed at the blond man. "You're impossible."

"Shhh… shut up and just kiss me and make me feel better about your stupid past. I'm so insecure right now."

Jaebeom grinned and proceeded to do so most thoroughly. He did note that Mark was even more gentle with him and he knew that Mark was giving him mental space to deal with his memories. He felt even more grateful that he had found someone like Mark. He only hoped that he deserved him. 

* * * * *

 

They woke to the sounds of a door slamming and the sound of crashing. Blearily they looked at one another before Jaebeom got up and walked out to investigate. "Fucking cats." He'd forgotten about them in the eagerness to shag. He left the room still naked. Mark followed, wrapping his arms around Jaebeom like a walking back hug as they made their way into the lounge. Jaebeom could feel himself waking up and hardening again as he felt Mark's still very naked body pressing up against him and his man's cock against his butt. Marks hand wandering down his abs didn't help. Well, it helped get his dick hard.. Maybe they should switch it up this time? He grinned as they headed toward the kitchen.

"My eyes! Oh, shit on a stick fuck, my eyes!"

"Ahem…Jaebeom, clothes would have been good!" 

Mark and Jaebeom stopped, arms still wrapped around one another as they lifted their eyes slowly to the voices.

"I'm sorry…" Seokjin started.

"You're sorry - fuck, I'm blind, dude! He should be the one to say sorry!"

Jaebeom's boys stood there with their hands over their eyes…"Jin, Brain?" Jaebeom groaned before dropping his head back to lean against Mark. "What are you guys doing here?"

"You weren't answering your phone…" Seokjin was looking hard at the ceiling.

"Yeah… " Youngjae dropped his hand before he realised that was a mistake and instantly covered his eyes again. "Shit!" 

Then Jaebeom realised that he and his boyfriend were very much naked and quickly ran and whipped a couch blanket off the sofa and wrapped it around Mark. 

"We came to check on you. We didn't know you were busy not answering your phone because you were getting  _ busy _ !" Youngjae's tone was both outraged and congratulatory. "Thanks for ditching us to get laid, by the way!"

"Jaebeom … oh for fuck's sake... some fucking clothes please! You covered your fuck buddy - hi by the way - now do the same!" Seokjin berated the brunet. "Do I know you? You seem familiar."

"Ah, really? I don't think so?" Mark shook his head holding tight to the blanket wrapped around him before turning away and awkwardly motioning to the bedroom. "I-I'm-I'm going to get dressed."

"He might want his clothes that were littered in the entranceway - nice jacket by the way." Jin gave JB the stack of clothes.

Mark's head poked out the door "Er, Jaebeommie? Do you mind if I borrow some of your clothes? Mine are… " Jaebeom flushed brightly, his face blooming with colour at the reveal of his cute nickname by his boyfriend, pushed Mark's clothes into his arms. "...oh right, thanks!" Mark smiled brightly, causing Jaebeom's heart to flip-flop helplessly in his chest.

Behind him, Youngjae hoarsely whispered, "Jaebeommie?! Jae-beom-mie?!"

As the door closed behind Mark, Jaebeom swiftly turned back around and glared at the younger brunet. "Hey!  _ He _ can call me that.  _ You _ can't."

Youngjae gave him an evil little smirk and bowed. "Ok, Jaebeom-ssi. Sorry, Jaebeom-ssi. Whatever you say, Jaebeom-ssi." 

_ Idiot _ .

Youngjae was skating on thin ice, Jaebeom felt. 

"Oh and Jaebeom-ssi?"

Jaebeom stared warily. "Hm?"

"Jaebeom-ssi, are you walking - no disrespect meant, Jaebeom-ssi - with a carrot up your ass, Jaebeom-ssi, or because you got a good rogering, Jaebeom-ssi?" 

_ Aish. _

He shook his head and glared even as he grinned. "You guys are shits. Just so you know." He wagged a finger at them as they burst into loud raucous laughter. "And stop staring at my ass… I know I'm sexy." He sauntered back towards the room. Naked. Unpretentious. Flaunting his man's marks all over his body. He was owned. A thought crossed his mind and he thought why not ask these guys. He turned back. "I'm sexy, not cute, right?" A tea towel hit him in the face. "Alright! Alright!"

Mark was sitting fully dressed on the edge of the bed when Jaebeom walked in. "Sorry about that. My friends are shits. I had no choice really. I inherited them in the split because Jinyoung couldn't stand them." He walked over and sat next to him, palming the back of his neck, seriousness colouring his tone. "Mark? You ok?"

Mark grinned at him, showing him those canines. "Yeah. Not the most ideal way to meet your friends though but hey, can't be any worse than meeting Taecyeon, right? I mean, it wasn't awkward pretending you knew him really well in front of your recent ex, right? It's almost the same as meeting your friends completely starkers." He scratched his chest through his shirt. "I'm sure they won't be scarred. You hid most of me from them."

"Thank god, otherwise Brain might have hit on you. I mean, you make a good first impression." Jaebeom laughed, patting the back of Mark's neck, "At least, this time I wasn't acting as your boyfriend." He leaned over and kissed the leaner man. "This time, you  _ are _ mine."

He lay back on the bed, pulling on Mark to lie upon him and proceeded to kiss the older man thoroughly. Mark broke their kiss briefly to straddle him and then they went back to making out. 

"Jaebeom-ssi! We are going to coffee at Holly's cafe. Want to come join us?"

He looked up at Mark who was grinning down at him. "I am hungry," Mark whispered down to him. 

"For food?"

Mark grinned suggestively. "Well for you but yes for food right now. You… can be dessert."

He grinned as he held Mark's gaze, yelling, "Yes! We're coming!"

Through the wall, they heard both Jin and Youngjae yell, "That's what he said!"

"I am really sorry for having such fucktard friends." 

"It's ok. It explains a lot…" snickered Mark, nodding his head as if realising something.

Jaebeom slapped him in mock objection. "Hey!"

Mark laughed before peppering his face in kisses. 

"Yah, this is not letting you off the hook."

"No, but it'll give me a head start," he quipped as he leaped off Jaebeom and ran out the door.

Jaebeom scrambled off the bed, chasing after his lover, finally catching up to him as Mark stopped to put on his shoes in the entranceway. He wrapped his arms around the slim man and held him in place, laughing at the silliness on Mark's face as he tried to squirm out of his grasp. 

"Stop! Stop! I give in!" Mark cried out as Jaebeom squeezed him even tighter and attempted to lick his face. 

They stopped breathless but still smiling. 

"Dumbass."

They were dumbasses but they were together.

Mark was so beautiful, Jaebeom realised, as he took in that widely grinning face and the happiness that radiated out of that handsome face. God, he really had done something right in his previous life - first a good looking Jinyoung, then handsome Mark. He silently thanked all the gods that ever existed.

"Hey, Mark, are you really ok with going out with my friends? I mean, I'd completely understand if you wanted to go to a different cafe to get food or we can even order in and just get something delivered?"

"Jaebeom. Stop. I'm okay. Thank you." Mark kissed him on the lips and JB smiled, his heart filled with a lightness that hadn't been there 24 hours ago. He shivered as Mark deepened the kiss and once again he felt those tingles going through his body. He really, really liked this man. Mark finally pulled away and just held him close. He breathed in the fresh scent of shampoo and the scent that was uniquely Mark's, and he leaned his cheek on Mark's head, content. 

He laughed softly as Mark commented, "You might want to get some clothes on though. I mean I like you naked, but I don't know how I feel about everyone else seeing my boyfriend's hot body."

Right. He'd forgotten. Jaebeom rushed back to the room and threw some clothes on. Then they were out the door and heading down the stairs, and on the street. JB linked their pinkies together as they walked down the road. Mark glanced at their hands and at JB and JB grinned. "Cute," was all Mark said. 

He grinned happily to himself. Was the sun brighter today or was it just him?

* * * * * 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that hit the spot for you all. I do love their cutesy moments as much as their smutty moments. Hit me up on Twitter (tjbaby101) or comment below!


	24. Out of my Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Jaebeom are about to meet Jaebeom's friends. How will the meeting go?

* * *

 

As they walked along, Jaebeom realised that he didn't know much about Mark. That made him contemplative as they walked along. Before long, he found himself asking, "How long have you lived in Seoul?" He guessed that he'd surprised Mark in a way by the sharp way the older man looked at him, but Mark would have known that Jaebeom would ask this eventually. Right?

The older man took a short while to answer. "Um, hmm… I guess this time around... a long while? Maybe a few years now? I visited off and on and then I lived here for a while before moving to Japan with my boyfriend. But um… I moved back to here...after."

There was a lengthy pause as Jaebeom digested Mark's words.

He hadn't realised he had moved to Japan to be with his boyfriend but that made sense. But Jaebeom had more questions. Who was the boyfriend? Why did they move? Why did he move back? Finally, Jaebeom looked at him and asked simply, "Why?"

"Ah," Mark smiled, "that's a much longer conversation than I suspect we have time for. And I don't really want that conversation in the street if you don't mind. But I don't mind having that conversation with you." The blond smiled, sincerity in his face and Jaebeom knew that Mark would happily tell him everything he wanted to know. The knowledge made him feel more happy, more secure that Mark was sincere in wanting to be with him. It was different from when he had started dating Jinyoung with all the hiding, the lack of open affection for fear of getting caught.

"So … what do you actually do that takes you to Japan?" Jaebeom attempted to change the subject of his thoughts.

He watched the way the man thought before he spoke. Jaebeom found it endearing that Mark would be so careful in his contemplation before speaking. The older man softly chuckled as he explained, "Well, it's not usually what I do, but I was doing some risk assessment and project management for a friend of mine in Tokyo. It was supposed to be a one-off thing, but I suspect I might be headed back for a short spell to cover for him. It wouldn't be for too long though," he quickly reassured the younger man, pulling him towards him and clasping his hand tighter. "Out of curiosity, since we are on the subject… What do you do for a job?"

"You couldn't tell?"

"No…?"

Jaebeom was relieved that he could answer this easily, "I am a photographer by trade. I own a photography studio."

"Okay! I had just put it down to the fact that perhaps you were a particularly overzealous Asian tourist!" laughed Mark. "But, oh my god, that explains the camera equipment in your bag and no real clothes! Talk about priorities!"

While both were laughing at Mark's realisation, Jaebeom took the moment to just gaze at the happiness radiating from Mark.

"Okay, now that I know that, I have to ask - why did you choose Japan as opposed to another country?"

"Um, Jinyoung actually." Jaebeom was starting to dislike that so many things were about Jinyoung. "I wanted to go to Japan. I told you this before, but he always came up with some excuse to not go."

"And you never wondered why?"

"Well yeah, sure, I wondered, but I guess I just figured he just didn't want to go there. His family was directly affected by the Japanese regime so I couldn't understand his reluctance. I mean all Koreans were to some extent, but his family especially."

"Did you travel with him?"

"Sure we travelled, but never there."

"Oh? Where else have you been?"

Jaebeom launched into a list of cities and countries that he and Jinyoung visited before disclosing, "... there hadn't been a lot of time for travelling, and neither was there a lot of money after the purchase of the apartment, but we tried to go away if and when we could. It was also part of what gave us a want for a family as we came across orphaned children along our travels. And Jinyoung was so good with children…"

But it had been Jaebeom that had felt the hole and sparked the desire to want children as he'd had a lack of siblings. Jaebeom wondered how Mark would feel about a family. "Mark..." he started. The other man raised his brows in query. He shook his head and smiled. "Nothing…  Then he couldn't resist blurting out, "Mark… you're pretty."

"What the heck?!" Mark dropped his jaw before laughing and blushing. "That was out of nowhere!"

"Not nowhere. I find you just very _very_ attractive." He smirked as he palmed the slim man's nape and pulled him in towards him, thumb caressing his skin before slinging his arm over the slimmer man's shoulders as they both loped along. He loved being able to hold Mark like this. Jaebeom couldn't help but think, 'so different from Jinyoung.'

_Ah, Jinyoungie. Nyoungie._

Jaebeom thought about how he would have to thank the other man for letting him go. After sharing with Mark about their relationship, Jaebeom realised then how much of a rut they'd been in. He'd also realised somewhat belatedly, just how much he and Jinyoung had settled for what they had together, instead of perhaps truly seeking people out there for them. Maybe Jinyoung had realised this. But it had taken Mark for Jaebeom to realise that he hadn't had to stay with Jinyoung all these years.

Mark's slim fingers brushing against his fingers pulled the younger man out of his thoughts. He smiled, licking his lips at a particularly lascivious look from his older man. Too fucking sexy for his own good was Mark. Jaebeom couldn't help but touch him all the time. Even as Mark was ensconced under his arm, Jaebeom wanted more. More Mark, more skin, more everything. While he knew they couldn't spend all their time in bed, a part of him couldn't help but think, why not? He quietly snorted as he placed his lips in Mark's hair. "Baby, I like you." He felt Mark's giggle vibrate through his body beneath his lips.

"Beommie, I like you too. But you need to stop clenching and pulling me closer every time some guy goes past. In case you didn't notice, there are a lot of guys in Seoul. Let me live!"

Jaebeom stopped in surprise, causing someone behind them to object. He apologised to the stranger who glared as they passed them before turning Mark to look at him, searching his face. "I don't do that, do I?"

The shorter man grinned, nodding, "Yeah, you do. It's fine. Just gets a bit hard on the neck sometimes."

"I'm sorry." Jaebeom threw his arm over Mark's shoulder again as they resumed walking. "I'll be more careful… oh, I do do it," he made a face as he realised that he'd just pulled Mark away from a well dressed good looking guy walking the opposite direction. He shook his head and dropped his arm, grabbing Mark's slightly smaller palm in his. He bit his lip as he gruffed out, "Sorry, Mark."

Mark shoulder-bumped him. "Aw, Jaebeommie, it's okay. Don't pout. You're just a bit possessive and territorial right now. It's understandable though. I'm that fucking awesome," Mark teasing tone was back and Jaebeom grinned a little sheepishly.

"Ah… I'll try to be less so... territorial. And… good to see you so modest and humble as ever. Aish." Jaebeom clicked his tongue teasing the older man back.

"Well, you know… handsome stalkers are not easy to come by… Stop hitting me!"

"You okay?" Jaebeom asked the older man as they waited for the cross signal. The blond cracked a grin and nodded.

The younger man looked around, feeling like he was seeing his world through fresh eyes. Which in a way he was. Everything was brighter, fresher - sun, cloudless sky, tall buildings, trees, Seokjin, bus… wait, Jin? Oh wait, there's the boys…

"Mark, we need to cross over. I spotted the boys. Dumbasses. Mark? Huh? Oh." Jaebeom blushed as he realised Mark had been staring at him with a soft smile on his face.

The other man flushed too as he realised he'd been caught staring. "Um, ok."

"We'll have to wait for the signal," snickered Jaebeom as Mark made a move to step out and cross the road but the young man tugged him back. "Dumbass," he said softly.

The slender man flushed brightly. "I'm your dumbass, idiot."

"Yeah you are. And don't you forget it." Jaebeom squeezed his hand, letting out a small chuckle. "Come on." The signal changed and Mark smiled as Jaebeom took a deep breath and grabbed his hand. "Let's do this, Mark."

They set off to cross the road.

"Hey! Stop!…" as they walked and they turned their heads to see Seokjin and Youngjae yelling and waving their arms madly before the only sounds were squealing tires, blaring horns, and Jaebeom yanked hard on the older, more slender man, throwing him far and to the ground before darkness…

* * * * *

They set off to cross the road… then it was squealing tires, blaring horns, and Mark found himself on the ground, watching on in horror, having been thrown to the footpath by Jaebeom and he could only watch as Jaebeom flew through the air as a landrover hit him squarely where Mark had been standing.

"JAEBEOM!!!!"

He crawled to this feet and rushed over as soon as Jaebeom hit the ground.

There was blood and god, he was so still. Voices were clamouring with and around him.

_"Move!"_

_"Get out of the way!"_

_"Oh my God!"_

_"Who is that?"_

_"Is he okay?"_

_"Did you see that?"_

"Someone call an ambulance!" he heard himself scream even as he scrambled to kneel next to him and cradle Jaebeom's head gently where he was on the ground. _Shit! Where to start?!_ Seokjin and Youngjae had reached them and were also trying to help. Seokjin was on the phone to the emergency services and Youngjae was trying to rouse Jaebeom to consciousness.

"Jaebeom-ah! Jaebeom-ah! Can you hear me?! Yah!!! Talk to me!"

 _God! Come on, Jaebeom!_ He didn't want to move him and risk further injury, but there was so much blood and he frantically recalled as much first aid as he could remember. _Stem the bleeding. Where was it all coming from? Head. Arm. Leg. Holy shit - was that bone? Fuck! Jaebeom's friend Youngjae had that sorted as the man placed a shirt over the open wound, applying pressure._

Mark moved on to see if the younger was breathing. _"_ Jaebeom?! Don't you leave me. Don't you fucking dare leave me!" He tried to find his pulse, and to see if he was breathing. Mark's chest clenched as it seemed Jaebeom wasn't breathing. "Breathe, damn you! You better fucking be breathing!" There! He heard it against his ear. The man was breathing. Very shallow but still breathing. _Thank god!_ Mark whipped off his jacket and placed it over the man on the ground. _What was it about keeping the patient warm? Fuck! He should have paid more attention on that course!_

Then it was a blur. Paramedics arrived and official people came and pushed the three men away. Jaebeom was hoisted into the back of an ambulance and then they were all clamouring to be in the back but it was Youngjae who went in because he'd known Jaebeom the longest and knew his history. Mark stood there as the ambulance drove away, watching his love being taken away. Seokjin shook him. "Come on, there's a cab. We need to get to the hospital." Numbly, he climbed in and sat there, not hearing Seokjin telling the driver which hospital nor feeling anything save the jacket with his lover's blood on it clutched in his helpless hands. "Don't you die," he whispered. Don't you fucking die."

  
* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Well now, I think we got their reconciliation out of the way, and let's see, we carried on with the rest of the actual story, right? Oh dear… there is more to life than smut (did I say that out loud?) and as much as some of us like to read it, there is more to be shared in terms of Jaebeom's life and his recovery from heartbreak as well as Mark's own recovery of a different sort of heartbreak. But what is this? The evil author just added a crimp in the works… Shall we go on?


	25. And I'd Give Up Forever to Touch You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom and Mark fight their own inner battles.

* * *

 

Blinding pain…

Murky thoughts…

_Jinyoung._

_Mark._

_Jinyoung._

_Mark._

Jinyoung… everything kept coming back to Jinyoung. Everything in his brain was fuzzy but he could still recall Jinyoung…

Murky thoughts floated him out of his pain.

_Jaebeom was sad…_

_Jaebeom was angry…_

_Jaebeom was in pain…_

Murky thoughts floated him out of his pain.

_Jinyoung._

More pain…

Murky thoughts floated him out of his pain.

There should have been pain but he was numb.

There should have been words but he was dumb.

There should have been… should have been…

 _Jinyoungie_ … _I'm sorry._

Murky thoughts floated him out of his pain.

Jaebeom had never meant to hurt Jinyoung. He had never meant to hurt him so much with his overtime, and his music. He had never meant to be absent when the other man had obviously wanted or needed him to be present. He had never meant to leave the text messages unanswered nor the lengthy times until he did eventually answer.

Jaebeom was sad that his and Jinyoung's ending had not been mutual. He was angry that his and Jinyoung's ending had been abrupt. He'd been in so much pain that the life that he and Jinyoung had dreamt of together had faded away.

_Jinyoungie - I'm sorry._

It was just ... Jaebeom had grown so used to Jinyoung being there and sticking by him - just as he knew that Jinyoung never really meant to be petty or spiteful in his manner if Jaebeom displeased him, nor the silent treatment that he gave if he felt Jaebeom had overstepped the invisible line that Jaebeom never knew the exact position of.

_Jinyoungie - I'm sorry._

It wasn't supposed to be this way. It wasn't supposed to have been like this. He and Jinyoung had grown older but not up. He and Jinyoung were two separate beings that couldn't find a way to bridge the gap between them. They should have been something together. Instead they were broken shells of nothing.

It made him sad; he realised it wasn't so much that they had stopped loving one another but that they had found other things to fall in love with - music, work, life... and they had stopped growing together and had grown away from one another.

The reality was maybe they had forged their sexual relationship out of the strong bonds of friendship and kinship, which is a love in itself.

_Jinyoungie - I'm sorry._

That relationship had been forged from such an age that pettiness and the spitefulness had not been outgrown but instead had stayed with them and within their relationship… coming out as unfruitful retaliations, eating away what bonds they'd had.

_Jinyoungie - I'm sorry._

It didn't matter.

_Jinyoungie - I'm…_

All the realisations in the world hadn't stopped him from feeling hurt and distraught and anguished and unloved.

_… broken…_

Even as he had lain in Mark's arms retelling his past.

_Mark…_

It was Mark who had shown Jaebeom the possibility of an adult love, a love that had no conditions save one - barenaked honesty. Out of that, they would be able to build trust, love, and a life.

_Mark._

His thoughts flared bright.

His soul cried out in ecstasy.

He could feel the tatters of his heart melting and fusing back together again.

_Mark Tuan._

Whatever reasons Jinyoung had for leaving, Jaebeom was thankful that the breakup had led him to Mark. A man who was as emotionally scarred as he was; Jaebeom was certain of it - what from - time would tell. He hoped that Mark would eventually share it with him. He hoped that they would work together to heal one another along the way. So far, it was easy to love Mark, but was it equally easy to love an emotionally-hurt-from-Jinyoung Jaebeom? Someone who could hopefully love Mark as much he loved. Jaebeom hoped so.

He just had to live to make it work.

_Mark._

Clear thoughts floated him out of his pain.

_Mark._

Jaebeom breathed.

* * * * *

It had been beeping machines and noisy voices as Mark looked on helplessly. Jaebeom had been taken to emergency surgery and Mark hadn't been able do a damn thing. He hadn't been able to sign anything, nor help in any way. He hadn't even know who next of kin was. He could only wait. He was lucky that Youngjae and Jin knew all the details and Jaebeom's parents were called. The boys were talking to hospital staff and parents respectively and Mark removed himself silently, letting them get on with what needed to be done. He was only in the way.

He wrapped his arms around himself as he walked through the hospital hallway toward the main waiting area, unseeing of the other people walking or being wheeled around him. He could only think of Jaebeom's pale face, that moment when he'd seen him on the ground, the way that he had been so still and at the blood that was slowly leaving that healthy body that he'd held in his arms only moments before.

 _God_ . Mark threw his head back and squeezed his eyes, willing the tears away, but they teased at the edge of his eyes. _Dammit_. He didn't want to cry here. Not yet. Not while Jaebeom was in surgery...

"Mark!"

He looked up as Jackson came through the main doors.

"Ge! Mark!"

Mark ran and collapsed in Jackson's arms. He felt the strength of the solidly built man's arms with the thick muscles bunching up as they wrapped around his slim frame. God, he needed this right now. Someone he could just relax his guard with and tell his fears. Thank god for Jackson. Thank god. Thank god. He found himself repeating this in his head. People streamed through the door around them but Mark didn't care. His boyfriend, his man, his love was in that surgery and he couldn't do a damn thing and it hurt - goddamn it hurt. Fuck, it hurt. Fuck.

"What happened?"

Mark felt the rumble of the man's voice against his cheek. Mark didn't want to think about it but he had to explain to his friend so he could understand help him get visiting rights to jaebeom.

"He… he had an accident."

He felt Jackson walking them towards the seating area.

"Who?" Jackson asked.

Mark stated simply, "Jaebeom."

"The guy?"

He nodded. "The guy from Japan, yes."

He heard Jackson gasp. "He's here?"

Mark found himself nodding again as tears welled up… again. "Yes. Oh god it's bad, Jackson. It's bad."

"What? Why? Mark! Is he ok?"

Jackson was always concerned about any of his fellow men and this time was no different. Just because he didn't know Jaebeom didn't make Jackson any less concerned - he had a big heart that way. Mark could really appreciate this fact about his friend in this moment.

"No." Mark shook his head. "No, he's not okay. He's in surgery. They got him there in the end but they had been trying to track down next of kin."

"What? Why? Oh my god, you aren't making any sense. Why aren't you in there? Let's go in there."

"We can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because his parents are there!"

"So?"

Jackson's confused face made Mark's heart hurt because it couldn't understand why he couldn't be in there either. Only his manners said he shouldn't be - not right then at least.

Mark added softly, "And... his ex-in-laws are in there too." It hurt his heart to know that Jinyoung and Jinyoung's parents were there and he - Mark - wasn't.

"What???" Jackson was incredulous.

Mark stuttered, "J-Ji-Jinyoung… he's… next of kin… "

"What? Explain this? What? Who is Jinyoung?"

"His ex. Jinyoung is his ex. He is the one who… who… who gets to be in there with him.  The one who knows all about him. The one who the parents think is still with my boyfriend. The one who... the one who cast Jaebeom aside. That Jinyoung. The ex Jinyoung."

"Mark."

His name was pronounced in a frosty cold tone. He turned to see the person he hated the most right at that moment. The one who got to be with Jaebeom when Mark wanted to be with Jaebeom so badly.

Jinyoung gave him an indiscernible look. "It's best you go now."

Mark started, "But Jaeb…"

Jinyoung interrupted, "As you know, Jaebeom has been hurt badly and his parents are here now. I don't think his parents would appreciate that you were the one involved in his accident.

"Hey!" Mark frowned as he objected.

Jinyoung gave a heavy sigh. "Look, if he hadn't tried to save you, he wouldn't be here. They don't know you. They don't know who you are and they don't know if you mean anything to their son.

"Now hang on…"

"No. I won't 'hang on'." Jinyoung's voice became even colder, more scathing. "Do you think you mean something to him because of something you went through for a few weeks?" He snorted in derision and scorn, "You're irrelevant. You're nothing. You didn't even know his parents' names or his address or his work. You don't know his blood type. Or if he has health issues or if he is allergic to anything. I do. Now, I am going to be by Jaebeom's side when he comes out of surgery. My parents are here now too. We'll take care of things and fix him up. Like we've always done. You can't do anything and you're in the way." He looked at Jackson for a moment. "Your boyfriend here can look after you," Jinyoung sneered before he turned and walked away.

Mark watched numbly as Park Jinyoung walked back through the doors he'd come through. He didn't even hear Jackson's dark mutterings denying that he was Mark's boyfriend. He could only focus on the fact that the statements Jinyoung had just spouted were absolutely true. He rubbed his hand over his face. _God_ . Mark knew all of those statements were that - facts. He knew nothing about Jaebeom. Nothing. He can't even recall what part of Seoul Jaebeom's apartment was in because they'd been so distracted on the way to his place. _Shit, how stupid this was! God, how stupid was he?!_

"Mark?"

Mark spoke, his voice flat and toneless. "Fuck, I'm stupid, Jacks. His parents … I don't think Jaebeom ever told them of the break up." Jackson just stared at him. Mark swallowed thickly. "They are with Jinyoung. Consoling the man they think is Jaebeom's long-term boyfriend and man he lives with. Me - I'm not even in the equation, Jacks. I'm not even privy to _my_ boyfriend's details. And..." he took a deep breath as he looked up at the ceiling and tried to blink his tears away rapidly, "the worst part is, I'm not even his boyfriend yet. Not really."

"Mark!"

"No, It's true. I met him while he was on holiday and we had an amazing time together. But here we are, within 24 hours of seeing each other again and he's in hospital and I'm … a non-entity!! I don't have a right to him! Jinyoung was right - I don't even know him!" Mark was holding back the tears but he knew he was right. Jaebeom and he had barely started this relationship. They had agreed to start something but what did they really know about one another? What right did he have to be here - at Jaebeom's side?

"I want to be with him, Jacks." Mark sniffed as the younger boy pulled him in for a hug and held Mark to his chest. It made him think of how Jaebeom held him - the tears welled up again and spilled over. He whispered. "Fuck. I'm scared. What if Jaebeom doesn't recover? What if something goes wrong? What if I lose him? Jackson? I don't want to lose him. I only found him. I don't want to lose my chance."

Jackson sighed and held him. Mark clung to him. His heart was hurting so much that his chest ached. He hadn't hurt so much since his parents died. Mark was grateful for the presence of his friend - it made the hurt ease a bit. He stayed there for a long while until the tears stopped falling and the pressure in his chest had subsided to a manageable ache. He pulled back and sat up again, wiping at his face.

The younger sat back, his hand still on Mark's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "You okay, Mark?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Then do you think you should go and do something about this?"

Huh? Mark looked at Jackson, confused.

Jackson gave him a knowing look before calmly saying. "Don't you think you should stay here and fight it out?"

Mark sighed. "I told you. I don't know him. He doesn't know me."

"Well fuck it. Get to know him. Mark - get to know this man."

"But.."

Jackson talked as if Mark hadn't said anything, "Jaebeom - that's his name, right? Get to know him. Visit him. Ask him questions. Ask him all those things that the ex ... oh but fuck, he was hot - did you see that ass on him - fuck me - sorry Markie - oh but you have to admit, you could bounce a coin off that ass - fuck - um, so yeah, those things that stupid ex said you didn't know. Get to know those things. Family. Friends. Blood type. What does he like to eat - apart from you? What does he like to do - apart from you? Do you know what I mean?"

Mark nodded, slowly. "Yeah, Jacks I do, but…"

"No buts! All the things that you would ask on normal dates! I mean, you've fucked the guy inside out - I'm assuming that you did that throughout your lengthy-as mini fuck holiday, right?"

"Jackson, stop it." Mark blushed as he recalled all the sexing he and Jaebeom had done. He couldn't even deny it as his ears were red and he had to cross his legs as his cock twitched.

"Damn! He must have been good. Look at you, Mister Usually-Chill,  all hot and bothered."

"Shut it, Jacks." Mark was getting redder - he could feel it.

Jackson cajoled, "Come on, Markiepooh. You like him right?" Mark nodded and smiled.

Jackson leaned back with a satisfied look on his face. "Then do it. He's going to be recovering for a while. Make your hospital visits your dates." Jackson shrugged as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do.

"That's … that's … that's kinda creepy don't you think? Stalking him in hospital. It's like a bad drama or soap opera. Hi, I'm your new boyfriend - I hope you remember me? Creepy."

"Is it? I wouldn't know. I'd do it though."

"Yeah but that is you. I'm not you."

"I know - otherwise you would be in there already."

"Jackson!"

"Markie!"

"Stop!"

"No!"

Mark sighed. He felt Jackson turning him to face him. He looked at Jackson as the man earnestly laid out why Mark should be this radical.

"You, Mark, are making the best of a bad situation, right? Do you think Jaebeom is going to be wanting to be laid up and having someone glum - even if he is hot - looking after him? Don't you think that he would rather be looking forward to seeing you - his fucking gorgeous fuck buddy boyfie - and hanging out and watching movies on your laptop and eating and laughing together?"

Mark slouched as Jackson shook him. _How does he have so much energy? And no, Jaebeom wouldn't want Jinyoung there._

"But Jaebeom's parents? Jinyoung's parents?"

Jackson scoffed, "Circumstantial…"

Mark looked at him quizzically. "Do you mean superfluous?" he asked Jackson.

"Do I?"

"I don't know… what do you mean?"

"I mean get your ass in there and fight for your man, you dumbass. Parents or no parents. Kick ass, man." Jackson turned to Mark, his face questioning. "What the fuck happened to the Mark Tuan I know?"

Mark shrugged.

Jackson frowned. "He came all the way from Japan to claim his man! Right? Now damn well get off your ass and do it. Don't let some little up tart muffin shove you away from where you need to be."

Mark sat, his fingers twining and intertwining with themselves, contemplating what Jackson had proposed. Jaebeom. Jaebeom was his. Jinyoung or not, Jaebeom had agreed to be his and Mark wasn't going to let anyone, including Jinyoung stand in his way.

Resolutely, Mark sat up. "Jacks, help me find Jaebeom's friends. They should still be here." Jin and Youngjae would be key to his plan.

 

* * * * *

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Why is Jinyoung determined to be pain in my ass and in Jaebeom's ass? Come on, Mark, fight for your man.


	26. Wake Me Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The surgery is finally over. Jaebeom is finally back with Mark. What will happen with Jinyoung? And the parents?

* * *

Jaebeom relished the warmth on his skin, the happy brightness. Can sunlight really be categorised as happy? He wasn't sure. All he knew was that today, this day, the sun _was_ brighter, and it wasn't _just_ him. The sun was bright and it was warm and it felt just fucking amazing.

The colours were more vivid and intense like they were in dreams, the sky was that bright azure blue that could be captured on a perfect day on film if you were lucky or tweaked on the computer if you weren't, and the buildings were multitudes of colours and it was just so… _perfect_.

He could feel the sun's presence on his face, on his skin, burning brightly into his eyes, and all of it felt amazing. Amazing! Just like Mark's presence in his life. Amazing. Bright. Happy. _God!_ He felt so giddy with the happiness he felt he could almost skip down the road. Instead, he jammed his hand into his pocket as his other hand held his boyfriend's. _His boyfriend._ Jaebeom resisted letting out his internal squee and settled for the ear-splitting grin on his face to show the world how happy he was.

"Happy, baby boy?" Mark's soft murmur buzzed against his ear as the older nuzzled against his neck for a moment.

He nodded, the broad smile breaking across his face. He felt like he couldn't close his mouth again like he had a coat hanger stuck in his mouth, he was just that happy.

"I'll always be here, Jaebeommie. No matter what."

Their hands clasped together, they walked along and Jaebeom was enjoying just being... - being this happy, being with Mark, being in the sunlight with Mark and out of the darkness that had plagued him since his breakup with Jinyoung.

He snuck another look at Mark. God, he was good looking. Damn. Jaebeom sucked in his lip before releasing and painting a smirk on his face. That handsome man was his. He could feel himself walking with that swagger - he knew he got a good thing in Mark.

He wasn't looking a gift horse in the mouth - Jaebeom was pretty thankful for having found someone like Mark after the messy breakup he'd had. After all, he could have found himself a rubbish rebound, either taking advantage or being taken advantage of. Mark wasn't like that. And for that, Jaebeom was throwing every thanks out there to all the gods.

He felt that they were fated to meet - what was that saying again? Meet once, it's chance; meet twice, it's a coincidence; and if you meet a third time, it's fate. The universe threw them together more times than Jaebeom could count so he thought it was pretty safe to say that it stopped being random chance and more that they were fated to meet. How often can one meet another person before you figure out the real strong hint?

Hey, the Universe was pretty good at the unsubtle hints.

Mark was amazing.

But then again, in many ways, so had Jinyoung been great.

But Jinyoung was not Mark. And Mark was not Jinyoung.

He grinned at the blond man as they walked along, the sun hitting that hair and making Mark look like an angel…

He squeezed Mark's hand but his hand squeezed on thin air. _Huh?_ Jaebeom was suddenly aware of not feeling the other man's hand. _What?_ His eyes flew firstly to their joined hands then to the other man... Mark was fading slowly from in front of his eyes. _Mark!!!_ He went to reach for him. _Mark!_ Jaebeom reached out with his hands, but he felt like he was moving slowly, through tar. Something was stopping him from moving. His arms seemed glued to his side. They wouldn't move. _What's going on? Where was Mark?_ His brain was struggling to comprehend. He struggled hard against what was holding him in place. He tried to reach Mark even as Mark faded more and more. _No! Mark! Come back!_

He struggled to breathe as panic set in. Alarms sounded in his head. There were beeps and alarms, and he pushed against the very air that held him in place…

"DON'T GO!!!"

The aching cry in his chest shocked him awake. _Awake? What?_ His eyes opened to gaze at a white ceiling. He fought to breathe, his lungs aching as if he'd run a marathon. He was disoriented. _What was going on? Where was he?_ He felt himself lying in a bed. A crushing feeling in his chest - _Was it a dream? Was Mark a dream?_

Slowly, he became aware of a great many other things...

He could hear a myriad of noises all clamouring for attention - the beep of machines, voices talking quietly in one ear and in the other, a conversation between two people - it sounded like… _Eomma?_

"Thanks, Doctor. I just w-w-w-want… god, why do I keep breaking down like this? I'm sorry. I'm n-not usually s-s-so emotional."

_Doctor? Why is he at the hospital?_

"It's okay. We are all susceptible to these emotions when it's our loved ones involved. It's good that you are sticking by him. He will need you for recovery."

Was he in the hospital? Jaebeom was shocked. What had happened? He was so confused, and his mind was racing. He tried to move his mouth but it was stiff like it hadn't been worked in a while.

"I think his condition is stable and while it will take some time to recover from his broken bones, he is a young man and fit. That will hold him in good stead and aid him in a faster recovery time. He will need to come out of this coma on his own, but keep talking to him. We have noticed that patients often react to familiar voices more so keep talking to him."

"Jinyoungie has been so good to stay by his side. His Dad and I have had to keep going back home to keep an eye on things, but Jinyoung has stayed by our Jae-ah."

"That's good, young man. Keep it up. I've no doubt that he will eventually come out of it. His brain is taking a bit of a holiday. It will be fine. All the scans are showing good mental activity. Oxygen levels are good. His vital signs are stable. The body is protecting itself."

Something was brushing his forehead. It felt like a hand. He glanced sideways.

"Jaebeom-ah? Oh my god, Jae-ah! Someone! Doctor! He's awake! His eyes are open!"

He could hear the flurry of people and suddenly a light was piercing his eye and he flinched at the brightness of it. _Can you not?_

"Im Jaebeom, I'm Doctor Jung. You're at the hospital. Can you hear me?''

_Of course, he could. He wasn't deaf! And can you stop with the flicking light thing??_

"Im Jaebeom, if you can hear me, blink once with your eyes."

 _Blink_.

"Good. you have been in a coma. You had an accident. Do you understand?"

_Yes. Blink._

"Today is Thursday. It has been two weeks since your accident."

Jaebeom blinked rapidly. _What? Two weeks? What?_

"Breathe, Jaebeom-ssi. It will take some time to adjust. It is okay. You are in a stable condition. You have had an operation. You have two casts - your leg and your arm. They were broken in the accident. You have an IV line in your left hand. Do you understand?"

_Yes. Blink._

"Good. Now we just need to do some tests. Are you okay if we do this? Do you understand?

_Yes. Blink._

"Okay, squeeze my finger. Good. Now can you tap with your finger?"

_Tap._

"Please, Beomie, tap your finger… please." It sounded like Jinyoung. It made Jaebeom grouchy.

_I'm tapping, idiot._

The doctor was satisfied. "Good! Well done. Can you feel this, Jaebeom-ssi?"

_Yes._

"Jaebeom-ssi, tap again if you can feel this. And. this. And this."

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

There were more pokes and prods; nurses who came and went, the doctor doing some umming and ahhing and so far a lot of shit that Jaebeom couldn't work out why the fuck he was doing them until finally…

"Alright, it looks like he has not lost any nerve nor neurological functions."

"Oh thank god."

"We will test some more over the next few days, but now that he is awake, we can manage his care far better."

"Oh thank you, Doctor!"

"You're welcome. I will leave you to your family, Jaebeom-ssi. You are lucky to have them here. I will be back shortly."

He felt his mother come to his side and press his hand. "Oh, Jae-ah... I was so worried." Her hand brushed his hair back from his face. "Oh jagiya, thank god, you are awake now. Yah!" she berated softly. While her voice was admonishing he could hear the love and worry in her tone and had he been able to weep at that, he would have. Instead, he settled for trying to squeeze her hand. "if you hadn't I would have come after you. Aiii, you scared me to death." Her voice became softer, "Don't you know it's not good to scare your mother like that, huh, Jae-ah?"

"Hush, he's been through a lot. Jae-ah, can you hear me?"

 _Appa? Yes. Yes, I can hear you!_ With an effort, he managed to wheeze out a soft "Hi."

Jaebeom fought to blink his eyes, trying to clear his vision. He wanted to see his parents clearly. There. He turned his head toward their voices. There they were. His mother's beautiful face swam into view. She looked tired but still beautiful. He loved her so much. He hated that he had made her worry. There was his wonderful father. They had probably taken time off from their work to come to care about him and he felt a pang of guilt. They were hardworking people and they shouldn't be taking time to care about him. But he was grateful.

"Eom...ma… A-A-Ap-pa," he voiced with some effort. He felt their grip on his hand and his arm. He tried to move his mouth into a smile, but it hurt. He hissed.

"Don't talk. Save your energy." He felt the squeeze of his mother's hand on his. "We will have to leave you to sleep but we will be back really soon."

"I-I-I'm glad… you… here." It was an effort to get the words out.

"Beomie? Beom? I'm here too. Can you hear me?" The voice was familiar but not welcome. "It's Nyeongie. Your Nyeongie. I'm right here."

 _Why are you here?_ Jaebeom wanted to shout but nothing was working the way it was supposed to. He just wanted to scream in frustration. He wanted to know what was going on. Why was he in the hospital? _What the fuck was going on? Where was he? Why was he here?_

"Jinyoung has been here the whole time." His mother sounded happy and proud and part of Jaebeom wanted to vomit at the that. He knew if she'd known about what Jinyoung had done to him, she wouldn't be so happy and proud. "You have been so lucky to have him stay by you. You boys are so good for one another. You would have never found another one like him. Oh, thank you for staying by his side, Jinyoungie."

"I would do anything to stay with him, Eomma.

_Yah, like fuck. You should have done something way back when you walked out, you dumb fuck. Nyeongie. Jinyoung. Why the fuck are you here? Where is Mark? What is going on?_

"Hyung," that voice made Jaebeom's spine shiver. This was the man who broke his heart. And he was here as if nothing had happened. _Go away. Where is Mark?_ Jinyoung's voice continued to sound as he explained things to Jaebeom's befuddled brain, "...you've been in an accident and you've been in a coma for a few weeks."

 _That's right - the doctors said two weeks. Oh my god, Mark must be frantic!_ He tried to move, but his body wouldn't cooperate and only a low growl in his throat indicated Jaebeom wanted to say something. He was frustrated. He made the noise again.

Jinyoung patted his hand and Jaebeom wanted to pull his hand away but he couldn't. "Hush... It'll take you a while to adjust but just know that the doctors have done the best they can for you. It was very nerve-wracking for a while, Beomie. I hope I.. we never have to go through that again."

He heard the admonishment in Jinyoung's tone and almost felt guilty for putting them through that. Almost. But his brain was more focused on where his other loved ones were. _Where was Mark? Jin? Brain? Surely Jin and Brain wouldn't have left him here alone. And not with Jinyoung..._

"Jin…" he heard himself croak.

"Jinyoung? Yes, I'm here, Beomie! Your Jinyoung!"

"No… Mark…"

He heard Jinyoung laugh softly. "What? Oh no, you don't have any marks." He laughed again. Jaebeom felt a dislike for his laugh that he never used to. That wasn't the Mark he meant and he knew from Jinyoung's laugh that Jinyoung knew it too.

His mother's voice sounded confused. "You were worried about marks?"

Jinyoung laughed again, sounding a bit brittle in Jaebeom's opinion. "Haha, That's my Beomie. No no. A few bruises and scratches but no lasting marks." _Nice save, Jinyoung. And what's that supposed to mean?_

His parents joined in the laughing before his dad commented and he felt the touch of his father's hand on his arm. It felt warm and comforting, unlike the heat from Jinyoung's hand on his right hand. "You will be here awhile. You have a couple of broken bones that will require time to heal…"

His throat was so dry… Miraculously a glass appeared at his lips and he grabbed it with his lips and somehow he managed to wet his parched mouth. Then a spoon appeared and he felt the contents poured into his mouth and a familiar taste of his mother's baesuk filled his mouth. He swallowed the homemade concoction and spoon after spoon appeared until he forced his lips closed and the spoon was taken away. He loved his mother but seriously… drowning by baesuk wasn't the way he pictured going from this world.

"Hey," his father said gently. "Don't drown him in it. He's only just woken up. You'll have plenty of time to get that stuff into him. Give him a moment to collect himself."

_Thanks, Appa. Always the voice of reason._

He heard his mother huff at his father. She wouldn't be content until she had finished emptying the contents of an entire bottle of baesuk into him. "Make sure you give him more of that, Jinyoung-ah until it's all gone. I'll make more and bring it in with me." His parents sat on one side of him, holding a hand. "Jae-ah…"

The nickname his parents used burned in his heart. God, he missed them. He could have done with their … His thoughts caught up with him and he froze even more. _Oh god, did they know that he and Jinyoung split? Shit! No, they didn't know!_ He hadn't told them about Jinyoung leaving, and judging from that conversation he had heard, Jinyoung hadn't told them either! _Shit! Fuck! Damn!_

"The doctor told us that once you regained consciousness, you might be too dazed to talk with us," his mother's voice broke through his panicked thoughts. He flicked his eyes to hers. "Your father and I will need to go soon. Your father needs to sleep. You know how he is when he gets tired. He's been insisting that we needed to stay here, but well, you know your dad…"

Jaebeom knew his father would have only said it to make his mother feel better. His father was good at doing that for his mother. Actions always spoke louder than words in their home.

She bustled about, trying to get her things together, but Jaebeom knew she was just collecting her feelings so she wouldn't show her upset to him. "Now, make sure you eat the food when they bring it to you and be sure to thank the nurses and doctors when they come in, and Jaebeom-ah?" Her voice wobbled before she took a deep breath and carried on, "I will make you some jook and bring it in. Okay?"

He felt his mother brushing back his hair again. He felt tears in his eyes. Her lips brushed his cheek.

His father leaned in and kissed him too on the cheek before patting it gently. "You gave us a scare. Don't do that again. I'm getting too old for this." He heard his father quietly snigger. "I'm getting too old for placating your mother."

Jaebeom could only give a raspy wheeze of a laugh, but he knew his father understood by the squeeze on his hand. Then he was gone.

He heard them gathering their things and then they were leaving, the sliding door closing softly behind them.

Jaebeom tried to move his head but he let out a barely sounded groan as the pain shot through him however Jinyoung must have heard him for he rushed to his side.

"Beom? It's okay. Don't try to move. I'll get the nurse."

He quickly grasped the other man's hand. "Jin… young?" His voice was still wobbly and croaky. He hated it. But he had to ask. "W-W-What's going on? Explain this all to me again. Why am I here? Ex… plain all of this to me. What happened to me?"

He heard Jinyoung take a deep breath. "Jaebeom… you were in an _accident_. A car accident. A car hit you as you were crossing the road. The driver was lucky to not hit any of the other people, but he hit you pretty hard." Jinyoung's voice broke before he coughed in an effort to sound stable again. "It … it was bad. You were badly hurt, Jaebeom. Very bad. You needed surgery. You've had a few additions to your body - you can finally say you are part machine. Like Terminator." Jinyoung laughed weakly. "We had to wait until your parents could arrive because … well… I couldn't sign for it." He heard Jinyoung sigh. "My parents came up too. They've had to go back. Work and everything."

Jaebeom knew that the very fact the Park family had come up was a sign that they cared deeply. He was deeply touched.

"Jaebeom… " Jinyoung wanted to say something, Jaebeom could tell. He heard the younger hesitate before blurting out, "I didn't say anything to your parents, Jaebeom. But Jaebeom… my parents don't know that we split up. You apparently haven't told your parents either." Jaebeom worried about this too. Jinyoung's words were rushed. "I had to act like we were still a couple, Jaebeom. I'm sorry if that was the wrong thing to do but I didn't know how else to deal with it! I had both sets of parents in front of me upset over you and comforting me and I know… I don't have a right to be upset, but I was so worried about you, Jaebeom. God, I was so worried!" Jinyoung was crying. Jaebeom could hear it in his voice. He couldn't turn his head properly to see the younger man. He tried to moved his hand to give comfort to his ex. Jinyoung latched onto the offered hand. "I- it broke my heart to see you so broken, Jaebeommie! I was so s-s-scared!"

"Shhh… " Jaebeom tried to calm Jinyoung down, but it was hard with the casts and the wires and tubes. He tried anyway. "Jinyoungie… I'm okay. It's okay."

"Oh god, hyung. You didn't see the way you were when they wheeled you to surgery. God, it was so… oh god. I don't know how anyone could leave you like that. It made my heart ache. Jaebeom, I'm sorry. It was … " Jinyoung choked back a sob. "Oh god, I'm sorry that this happened to you. God, I hurt when I saw you all broken...." Jinyoung drew a shuddering breath. "That landrover hit you hard… I'm so.. God, so, so sorry… " The tears were flowing freely now, "Oh god, you have no idea how sorry I am... Jaebeom-ah, you needed a lot of blood infused, so much! I couldn't get over how pale you were when we were waiting for your parents to arrive..."

It made Jaebeom think of Mark. _Where was Mark? Surely, Mark wouldn't have left him if he'd been so hurt._

"Mark..." Jaebeom tried hard to speak properly. He felt Jinyoung start to speak but he croaked out, "Wait… Where-where is… Mark?"

Jinyoung, beside him, sighed. "Is that his name? I'm sorry to say this but he hasn't been here." Jaebeom's heart clenched. Jinyoung sighed again, "I haven't seen him since the day you were taken into surgery."

Jaebeom closed his eyes as pain bloomed in his chest, but it wasn't pain from the accident but from Jinyoung's words. _Mark didn't stay? Mark didn't visit? Mark wasn't here? What? What was he to Mark that Mark would leave him like this?_

"I'm sorry Jaebeom. He … I think… I don't know… Jaebeom, I think he sneaked out the minute our parents turned up. He seemed very relieved to hand all your care over to us." Jaebeom felt Jinyoung touch his hand. "I'm sorry, Jaebeom. I'm guessing you were expecting him to be here? Is he your boyfriend? I mean I recognised him from Tokyo. I'm sorry. I'm guessing it was too hard for him to deal with? Or maybe he isn't one to stick around when times get … you know what, forget it. Sorry." Jinyoung held his hand in both of his. "Jaebeom, please. Please. Don't think about him. I'm sorry to deliver what is obviously bad news. I didn't realise how much he meant to you. Shall I try to find him for you? I can try finding him for you. Maybe I should get you a new phone? I would have suggested calling him but your phone was broken in the accident."

Jaebeom rasped, "No. No, don't bother."

"It's no bother…"

"Don't. Just… don't."

He didn't want Jinyoung to do anything for him. He didn't want Jinyoung to be here telling him his boyfriend had given up on him. He didn't want… he didn't want Jinyoung full stop.

Jinyoung squeezed his hand. "I don't know if it's any consolation, but I-I-I'm here, Jaebeom. If you can, please take comfort from me. I'll-I'll-I'll stay if you want me to. I mean… yeah… I will. You just have to ask. Do you want me to stay with you?"

A memory floated back to him… _"... I won't beg you to stay. Because I don't want you to stay. I deserve more than that."_

How long ago was that time? Jaebeom looked at Jinyoung. Jaebeom's mind was fuzzy and confused. But not so confused that he'd forget how this guy had made him feel when he walked out of their apartment and his life. And how his heart had ached.

He wanted to say, 'Thanks for the offer, but no.' But instead, his mouth stayed silent as he looked at his ex-boyfriend and acknowledged that he was still beautiful and handsome, but Jaebeom could also see the tired lines, the slight weight loss around his face, the seemingly earnest expression on his face and just how _not_ Mark he was.

He missed Mark. How he wished Mark was here and not JInyoung. It should be Mark holding his hand. It should be Mark here with him.

He didn't realise that he was squeezing Jinyoung's hand until it was too late. Jinyoung's voice was full of emotion as he spoke, "I'll stay Jaebeom. I'll stay if you want me here."

Tired and still coming to grips with making him body function, Jaebeom tried to talk. "I-I-I do-do-do…" _don't want you here._

"Oh. Beomie." Jinyoung grasped his hand tightly, sniffing slightly. "Okay. I'm sorry if I'm not the person you want here, but… I'll be right here. Th-th-thanks for trusting me. I know that you have every reason to not trust or want me right now, but … thanks. We can do this together. I want you to get better. Our parents want you to get better. Believe me - they were so worried about you. I was so worried about you. Please… let me stay and help you."

 _What? I don't want you here! And trust? Trust?_ Jaebeom snorted in his head. He didn't trust Jinyoung. Jinyoung broke him. Why would he believe in him?

Then again, he trusted Mark too. But where was he? Mark wasn't here. _Mark._ An old phrase came unbidden to his mind. _Why have you forsaken me?_

His heart felt heavy at the thought that Mark had left him in the care of the Parks and his parents. And that Mark hadn't come back to see him. _Why, Mark? Dammit!_

His heart felt burdened.

"J-J-J-jin…"

"Stop speaking, Beomie. I need to go out for a moment, but I'll be back again shortly. Rest for now. You'll be stronger soon. We can talk more then. Beomie..?"

He met Jinyoung's eyes.

"Beomie…I-I- nevermind."

Jaebeom felt Jinyoung pat his hand as he shut his eyes. He felt the other man leave as he lay there with his eyes closed; the door opening and closing behind him. He was finally alone with his thoughts.

And his thoughts were whirring like mad.

What the heck was he going to do? Holy fucking shit - he was in the hospital - with Jinyoung -- and his parents -- and what was going on?

Why was Jinyoung coming onto him like a dog in heat? Where was Mark and Jin and Brain? Why was Jinyoung here and not them? The idiot man that broke his heart and left him what weeks, or was it months ago - why was it that he was acting as if they were fine and together? And what was that about trust and being here? What? What the actual fuck was all that?

Hadn't they all going to Holly's cafe? What happened between then and now? What? Argh.

Jaebeom was so tired.

His head pounded with his thoughts and ached. The doctor and nurse came back in. They injected something into his IV and he felt the dull fuzziness of medication kicking in and before long, the inky beckoning of sleep… he welcomed sleep as he drifted off again into the darkness.   

 

* * * * *

He was there, holding his lover's hand.

He couldn't believe that he was finally awake.

The pang in his chest was strong from the pain that he couldn't be there when the younger had opened his eyes.

"Jaebeom," he whispered. He stared at the sleeping man.

"Fuck, you're beautiful even while you are bruised and bandaged up. How is that possible? You're just lucky like that, huh?" He reached up with the other hand to brush the brunet's hair off his forehead.

Mark felt the hair under his hand, slightly matted after Jaebeom's extended hospital stay. It didn't matter; it was a familiar feel of his lover's hair after they had panted and chased their orgasms with one another. He ran the hair through his fingers, feeling the closeness in the action. His eyes followed the line of Jaebeom's brows, over those dots under his brow that he'd kiss before they slept in one another's arms, those lashes that fluttered then and now while the younger man slept, the soft yet angular cheekbones that called for Mark to touch them again. He drew his hand down. "Fuck. Just … fuck. Stunning." He cupped his palm on the younger's cheek, holding his breath as Jaebeom nuzzled into it, setting nerves tingling in his palm and through his body. Slowly, he let his breath out along with his disappointment when Jaebeom showed no sign of waking. "Fuck, I miss you," he softly whispered.

He gripped the hand he was holding a little tighter. "Please don't forget me." A tear slipped out and down his cheek. "I miss you, Jaebeom. Please come back to me. I'm still here. I haven't left you." A choked sob sounded loudly in the room. "Please… no matter what… please remember I was there for you and you were there for me. Please don't forget us." The tears fell freely as he stood there.

The pale moonlight shone through the minute gaps in the blinds and cast its wan light palely across the sleeping man's form and the man who stood there, wishing for his lover.

 

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Ah… Jinyoungie, stop being a pain in my ass. Also for those who are medically trained, I'm sorry if I got things wrong!


	27. See The Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Jaebeom is awake, Mark only wants to see him. But Jinyoung is always in the way. Will Mark be able to work it work and get in to see his man?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this and all future chapters, Yoo Youngjae has been renamed to his nickname of 'Brain' to eliminate any confusions between he and Choi Youngjae. Even in text. It will keep all confusion between the two Youngjaes clear.

* * *

 

It was still early hours of the morning; the sun barely at the horizon when Mark ventured out from the train station after his visit with Jaebeom. Dawn was slowly breaking, the sky tinted a mix of indigo and violet with that distinct light tint of blue on the horizon. On the streets, cars and trucks made their way down the streets, street and shop vendors alike were either closing from the night or getting ready to open for the day, and the pavements still held plenty of pedestrians. Mark barely noticed any of this.  _ He _ was walking the streets of Seoul because of his heart, bouncing on his feet as he walked, hands in his pockets and earbuds in, hoodie over his head.

_ Jaebeom was awake!  _

He raised his face and breathed in the cool night air that spoke of dew; that distinctly night aroma that came just before the dawn. He smiled and walked on, ducking his head back down and drawing his hoodie further around his face.

Like the pathetic lovesick moron he knew he was, he'd gone to see Jaebeom knowing the younger man had awoken from his coma in the hopes of seeing him awake; he hadn't been, but Mark had been ecstatic just being next to him, knowing the younger was now only sleeping. And now here he was in the early hours of the morning, having just left a sleeping beauty named Im Jaebeom, walking along because his heart was light and he had adrenaline coursing through his system. He had it bad.  _ Love _ . He'd raced back from Japan because of it only to almost lose it again in a freak accident. Mark shivered at the thought, not of the dawn air. 

He never wanted to lose Im Jaebeom. Not ever. And if Mark had his way, he never would.

Mark was anticipating that it wouldn't be long before the young brunet man was coherent enough to make his own decisions and make his wishes known and then Mark would be able to go and sit in that room with his boy as he belonged. He ducked his head to hide the even larger grin he was sporting at the thought. _Reunited and it feels so good_ \- the song lyrics rang through his head. He felt like a dick but he was happy. The universe couldn't begrudge him of that, right? His heart was light and his head full of future possibilities of a life with Im Jaebeom. He continued to walk with that bounce in his step as he made his way home.

He grinned happily to himself - his man was no longer in a coma. He felt like kicking his heels up in the air and jumping and shouting. Instead, he settled for jamming his hands deeper into his pocket, letting the grin spread on his face, and just breathing deep, happy for the first time in several weeks. 

A shout of laughter followed by some loud voices made him bring his head back up. He noticed a group of people leaving a twenty-four-hour cafe. He wasn't in a headspace to be around other people. He skirted around them and continued on his way. He laughed quietly to himself. Typical of Seoul -  there was always something happening and people were still out and wandering around; Mark noticed there was still plenty of traffic too. In fact, it wasn't that far off from commuters starting to make their way into work and Mark was thankful for the trains to have started already for he would have never been able to get home otherwise. But he really wanted to be alone right now.

A sudden loud clatter broke through the music in earbuds and jarred Mark to a stop.  _ Oh, for fuck's sake!  _ It had given him a start and caused him to jump, not to mention it had gotten his heart hammering at seemingly a thousand beats per second. He spun around, searching wildly around him for the source. His shoulders deflated in relief. It was only someone emptying rubbish by an apartment block, bottles being emptied into the bottle bin, and although it sounded loud, it was not threatening. Phew. He still wasn't completely okay with sudden loud noises - especially at night; not after his parents… and not after Jaebeom and that car accident. His feet began moving again. He carried on walking, clutching at his heart, telling it to stop thudding so hard against his chest. He breathed in and then out. 'Get a grip on yourself,' he told himself. It was hard enough being so nervous at possibly seeing Jaebeom awake again without imagining things jumping out at him in the dim light. He knew he was weird enough without adding more weirdness to the personality that Jaebeom hadn't even yet completely gotten to know. Mark resolved to try and get over his own anxiousness and jumpiness before Jaebeom had to deal with it. He checked back over his shoulder to see who had made the noise. And it was no-one important - just an elderly man with a cap and a cigarette. With a sudden pang, it reminded him briefly of his father when they went home to visit family in Taiwan. All of a sudden, Mark missed his father. He would have loved Jaebeom to meet him. They would have liked each other a lot. Mark mentally shrugged the thought off as quickly as it came. It wouldn't do to dwell on that right now. 

He looked up at the sky as he walked, letting his hoodie fall back off his head - slower paced now and more reflective in nature. The sky was getting brighter as dawn had finally broken, the sun rising and there was more brightness in the sky. He liked this time of the day because it was the moment that he could breathe; the darkness would be held at bay while the light beckoned and overcame.

It was like Jaebeom.

Jaebeom who was his light, his beacon. The man who gave him warmth and lit up like a lighthouse on a rock. The darkness had overwhelmed and threatened to take him under until he'd heard that his man had woken up. Mark had so been elated to find out that Jaebeom had woken up from his coma. The hours, minutes, and seconds that he'd waited until he could go in and see the man for himself, without fear of seeing Jinyoung or the parents of either Jaebeom's or Jinyoung's…. It had seemed interminable. Then when he did finally get to see Jaebeom, the man was asleep. It was okay though - Mark could smile now, Mark could breathe again. 

He felt happy. Things were getting better. He walked on, still with his light heart and bounce in his step to his house.  _ Jaebeom. Jaebeom was awake. At last. _

After Mark got home, he'd been too buoyed up to go straight to sleep so he had looked at photos of Jaebeom from their trip. He had slowly gone through photo after photo, staring at a smiling Jaebeom. What Mark wouldn't do to see that smile again. His fingers had brushed the screen, tracing that jawline, that nose, those brows… 

He'd fallen asleep to one of them in the gondola with Mt Fuji in the background - when neither of them were really paying all that much attention to the scenery…  _ Jaebeommie…  _

Mark felt as if he had just fallen asleep when he was woken up with the abrupt bang of his door and the jolting bounce on his bed. 

"Wake up, Mark!" It was Yoo Youngjae - the brainless idiot. Aka Brain.

Mark groaned -  _ after _ he'd place a hand against his chest and his wildly beating heart.  _ Dammit _ . 

It had clearly been a mistake to give Brain and Jin free access to his place. He should have known that one or both of the boys would be calling in this morning. They kept coming in no matter what time and he'd just managed to get to bed. He peered at his phone, eyes burning with lack of sleep. Irritation rose up and he frowned.  _ Goddammit.  _ One hour - he'd been asleep for all of an hour. He'd only just gotten to sleep! 

"You have to stop doing this," Mark said for what felt like the umpteenth time when Brain threw himself onto his bed. Mark felt the bed bounce beneath him as he lay on his stomach. He clutched the pillow beneath his face as he bounced before releasing it again. Then he reached over and punched Brain in the shoulder. "Stop jumping into my bed!"

"But whyyyyy?" asked Brain childishly as he leaned on his elbow staring at Mark's face.  _ Why did he have to do that so close to his face? _ It was unnerving how Brain did that - it was a bit eerily similar to Jackson. No boundaries - honestly, those two.

Mark knew how he would deal with Jackson and treated Brain to the same deal as he would his best friend. A little mind-fucking wouldn't give him a ticket to hell, right? He bit his lip, blinking his eyes slowly. "Because one day I might decide to leap on you - boyfriend be damned," he teased.  _ God, he was going to go to hell for this.  _ Mark knew that laying his head sleepily on the pillow, and doing the soft bedroom eyes, complete with a slow perusal back of the younger man purposefully, chewing on his lower lip before parting them wetly…  _ yep, gets 'em every time…  _  laughing silently he noted the other men's eyes arrested on his lips, the hitch of breath, and the slow flush of colour rising on the other man's cheeks. He raised a brow and let his morning voice do the rest. "How you doin'?" he further teased, his voice raspy.

Brain lay on his side, his eyes stunned and glazed over, face flushed. Mark worried that he'd broken the poor boy. "Brain? Youngjae? Yoo Youngjae?" Maybe mind-fucking the younger had been a bad idea. Oh god, Youngjae - the other Youngjae - would kill Mark if he'd broken Brain.

Brain shook his head as if to clear it before looking hard at Mark's face. "Not fair! Hot damn! If it weren't for JB and Choi boy… you're fucking something, you know that? That was… holy shit. Did you use that to get JB?" admired Brain. Brain waited until Mark gave a small grin and nodded before he gave a small strangled scream. "Argh! Oh my god, yes, I could see that working on the old bastard."

Mark smiled wistfully at the memory. "Although it was less 'how you doing' and more like 'stop staring at me. It's creepy.'" Mark admitted. "But yeah, I did something similar to him."

Brain's breath exploded from him as he laughed uproariously, "God, he never stood a chance. Poor bastard." 

Mark watched resignedly as Brain threw himself on his back and pulled the covers over himself. "Well, as leapable as I know I am, this is exactly why I need to come here and teach you about our Jaebeommie."

"Yes, well, right now I need sleep..." Mark was fighting the drowsiness to even hold this conversation. He felt the pull of it and wanted to be asleep again.

Brain continued as if he hadn't heard Mark. "He's an oddball of a fellow and in case you haven't noticed it, he is not exactly well versed in all the facts of life and still plenty innocent in many ways. So you need to get know our Jaebeommie without all the sexing… you need to date him, and see how he is when grumpy or working or sleep deprived and you need to know how to fix that. Glad to help in this department by the way...he needs you..."

"Yes, well, as I said,  _ I _ need sleep..." 

"... Well, you need to see him awake. Did you get to see him again last night? I'm assuming that this is why you are all tired out and not the result of having gone and picked up a stray and fucked his brains out or anything." 

_ As if he'd do someone other than Jaebeom. _ Mark eye-rolled. "Yes, Brain, I spent the night at the hospital and sat there with Jaebeom."

"Awwww, did you sit there and look at his precious pretty face while he slept?"

Seokjin, Brain, and Mark had gotten so used to one another in the past few weeks that the younger boy had taken to making jokes about Mark and Jaebeom's feelings - in a nice manner, of sorts. But it was still easy to be caught by surprise when the younger would make comments that made Mark want to reach over and slap him. It was - it was like dealing with Jackson.

Mark wanted to hit him. Lucky for Brain, Mark was just too goddamn tired. His voice muffled somewhat by the pillow beneath his face, Mark mumbled, "I'd reach over and hit you but I'm too tired. Smash your face into my hand, would you?"

Brain laughed at Mark however he did slide over a little further from the elder. "Okay, okay, point taken. But we still need to talk about all things Im Jaebeom!"

Mark knew they did. But he was so tired. He sighed. It  _ had _ been good to hear stories about Jaebeom - fun ones, sad ones, and things that the younger boy may not have wanted Mark to find out about and would probably want to commit murder after hearing that Brain had outed his bad fashion days, complete with pictures. 

It had been incredibly stressful for Mark while Jaebeom had been in his coma; not knowing if he could go in to see him, and when he had found he could sneak around Jinyoung and the parents in small doses, feeling helpless as his baby boy lay there, barely surviving. It had been really good to have had Seokjin and Brain to keep him company and regale him with stories of Jaebeom. It could almost make him be okay with the fact that once again he had put work first before the right kind priorities - his relationships. 

In Tokyo, he had put bum-to-chair, worked hard to finish Jackson's contract without once making contact with Jaebeom in Korea. And the Universe told him in no uncertain terms that this method was a totally crap method because life was not one you could put on hold while you work through thing methodically while using avoidance methods. He should have learnt that with Taecyeon but apparently, it took him several times to learn 'things'. 

He had made a silent promise during the past few weeks to not do that again if only Jaebeom would be okay and would wake up. Now that Jaebeom had woken up, Mark was a bit more relieved with the world, but he wasn't prepared to go without sleep for it. Not now his boy was awake and could be dealt with in a relatively normal medical way. 

So, at that moment, Mark wasn't up to having conversations about Jaebeom's jutting chin or sleep deprived state or hangry-ness or how he'd ditch Brain in favour of going to lunch with another friend when Brain had come to visit him specifically. Desperate for sleep, Mark closed his eyes and tried to close his ears to Brain's constant prods and remarks about getting out of bed. He rolled onto his back with his eyes closed tightly shut. He really wanted Brain to go away. 

"Come on, hyung. Get up. We can make your pancakes!" Brain added, "Besides, it's easier to answer your questions when we aren't on the lookout for Jinyoung all the damn time."

Mark let that thought float around in his head for a moment before letting out a huff of air. Yeah, okay, that was true. Being on the lookout to avoid Jinyoung certainly made the hospital visits more interesting. He didn't think the three of them were that good at keeping out of sight and leaving no traces of their visits behind - Mark was somewhat surprised that they hadn't been caught yet. They had found some interesting little out of the way nooks and crannies to hide in, but admittedly, they hadn't really had to hide much as Jinyoung always seemed preoccupied when he came out of Jaebeom's room to even look for them. 

Mark mentally groaned at the thought of having to be awake after staying up all night talking in soft tones to Jaebeom’s sleeping form or just staring at his face, soft and relaxed in sleep.  _ Jaebeommie… _ Mark's tired mind wandered…  _ His Jaebeom was so pretty.  _ He bit his lip and smiled as he thought of how beautiful Jaebeom was while sleeping. He had gazed upon those soft lips parted in sleep, the cheeks that occasionally puffed in and out as the younger man breathed, and he had smoothed back that dark hair that lay upon that smooth forehead, feeling those strands beneath his fingertips.

"Ew… stop thinking about JB hyung, hyung."

Mark sighed - his imaginings bursting with Brain's voice. "How'd do you know I was thinking about Jaebeom?" grouched Mark. 

"Cos you get that pathetic slack jaw, gooey face on you." 

Mark knew his ears were bright red even as he denied it. "I don't!"

Brain's knowing look stopped Mark's denial in its track. 

_ Okay, just maybe he might concede that he might get some kind of look on his face when he thought about Jaebeom. Maybe. _

He threw back, "You know, all of your 'helpings' still doesn't mean you can barge in here all the damn time. How's it going to look with you in our bed all the damn time? I've almost been in the same bed with you more times than Jaebeom!"

Brain swiftly turned on his side to look at Mark. "Oooh, it's our bed already huh? Aww… I didn't know you cared for me that way Mark! But," Brain's voice turned sickly coy as he teased Mark back and pretended to twirl his hair, "I hate to tell you this,  _ Markiepooh _ , but I have a boyfriend."  

Mark looked at the teasing man in front of him and wanted to throttle him. Sometimes at times like this, Mark wondered if Jaebeom was crazy because he kept company with people like Brain. But then there was Seokjin so Mark surmised it can't all be insanity. Maybe it was just hanging around with Brain that made people insane? His energy was certainly contagious. 

Mark shoved a pillow at the younger man. "Shut up, Brain. You know that's not what I meant. Idiot." He laughed. He pulled the pillow back and leaned on it. " Besides,  _ your _ boyfriend won't mind since he wants to do me as much as you do." He poked out his tongue childishly at the other man. "I'll call him later and offer to do him. I'm sure he won't mind then."

"Oh my god, don't you dare! He might actually take you up on it!"

"Choi Youngjae is Choi Youngjae. He would say yes to rile you up, Brain."

Brain laughed and threw another pillow back at Mark. "You're lucky I like you because yeah, he likes you. Not as much as he likes me, but yes he likes you. And he doesn't mind me helping you like this."

"So  _ your _ boyfriend is okay with it. How's it going to look to anyone else though? How's it going to look to  _ my _ boyfriend?" asked Mark, shoving his own head under the pillow. All he wanted some sleep… "Especially if you keep coming in in the mornings while I have morning wood..." Mark resigned himself to being awake now. Brain was not going to go away. He was tenacious like that. The younger man's drawling voice pulled him out of his thoughts rather quickly. 

"Well well well..."

“What…?” He lifted the pillow to peer at Brain, who was staring at … "Don't go there," Mark warned. 

He could feel Brain looking at him below the waist and Mark wanted to curl up and hide from that knowing perusal because it was the morning and Mark had well, morning wood, but told himself to stay still. He tried to stop thinking about Jaebeom, but his dick couldn't, or wouldn't, and plus he was desperate to go to the bathroom. Then it twitched. Mark winced. "Could you stop looking at my dick please?"

The younger man's eyes were wide. "You can't say shit like that without me wondering, you know. I did notice already that you have really long feet. And  _ wow _ , your cock is  _ really _ hard now… "

"Oh my god." He shoved the pillow down to cover himself, his ears, face, and neck flushing brightly now with embarrassment.  

"That's not what I expected to hear with Brain in your bed. Shall I leave and come back later?" Seokjin stood at the doorway of the bedroom, looking slightly horrified. Mark looked across at him, also horrified, fingers clutching the pillow firmly over his penis. 

"Jin! It's not..."

"Oh, hey, Jin! Mark was just showing his morning wood."

Mark screamed into the pillow and curled up under the covers. He couldn't recall the last time he'd been this embarrassed.

The taller man turned on his heel to walk out. "Fuck that - I'm leaving." 

"Me too." Mark went to pull the covers back to get up before recalling that he was only in a tee shirt and boxers that wouldn't hide anything at all. And belatedly that it was his room they were in. "Wait, no  _ you _ get out!" he half-yelled at Brain, grabbing the blankets and wrapping them around himself. Why was he leaving when the disruption was caused by this so-called imbecile who was in his bed? He felt mortified. And indignant.

Jin poked his head back in. "Hurry up and get dressed and then we can talk about how you are going to get to see Jaebeom like a civilised person that he'd be willing to be seen in public with now that he's awake. And maybe, you can show  _ him _ your morning wood." Jin straightened and leaned against the door jamb. He looked at Mark. "Did you go again last night?"

Mark sighed, sitting on the edge of his bed, blanket firmly fixed around him from the waist down. "Yeah. I know he woke up from his coma and it was going to change things but… it was harder to see him last night. So much more monitoring… and with his parents and Jinyoung...so hard to sneak in."

"I had wondered if that would be the case."

Mark looked up at the taller man. "It was still nice to know that he'd been awake before they'd made him sleep again, you know? I'd like to think he could hear me talking to him and that maybe he knew somehow that I was there." He felt tears prick at his eyes and he blinked rapidly, willing them away. He'd already cried so much during the past few weeks. 

Brain patted him on the shoulder. "He knows, Mark. He knows you're there."

Jin gave a half smile. "Jinyoung surely knows that we have been keeping an eye on Jaebeom's condition. He can't keep us out and definitely, he has no right now that Jaebeom is awake. I'll be out in the kitchen. Come out when you're ready. We can try and see him today when he's awake! Maybe he'll have morning wood once he sees you!"

"Ha ha, funny. Not," Mark grumbled.

Laughing at Mark's snarky remark, Brain scrambled to his feet, patted Mark on the shoulder once more and went out to join Jin in Mark's kitchen. 

Left alone, Mark let out a deep and heavy sigh. He breath came out on a wavering sigh. His heart hurt. He missed his Jaebeommie.  _ Damn you, Jinyoung, for making this difficult. _ Mark flipped back the blankets and sat on the edge of the bed, his head resting on his hands. Mark had felt it keenly that he couldn't be there when Jaebeom had woken up. He'd half thought that maybe Jinyoung would tell Jaebeom that Mark was a figment of his deranged and delusional imagination. He could only imagine the disorientation in his boyfriend's mind when he'd woken up. He wanted to be there so desperately for his baby boy. "Hold on and wait for me," he half whispered. "I'm coming for you. I haven't left you." Jaebeom, after all, was his. 

He called out to the men in the kitchen as he threw his pants on, "Hey, when are we heading out?"

* * * * * 

"What the heck?" Mark was incredulous. Two security guards flanked him as medical personnel had the audacity to say to his face that he was no longer allowed to go into Im Jaebeom's room. "No! Please! Let me see him!" Mark fought against the arms that restrained him. The security guards faces were implacable as they held him from being able to go to Jaebeom's room. It was enough to make him want to scream in frustration.  _ Why was this happening?!  _ "I'm Mark Tuan - I've been visiting Im Jaebeom for weeks now. What is going on?"

Seokjin and Brain were also being held back. It made no sense. One minute they were walking into the hospital to go and visit him, the next they were being held by security guards as medical personnel told them they were no longer allowed - any of them - to see Jaebeom. It made no sense! 

He wasn't allowed to see Jaebeom? But he'd been able to go in last night...  He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t get in to see him today? As opposed to yesterday? What the hell? Mark struggled to comprehend what the hospital staff were saying. 

The medical personnel stood his ground.  “No, sir. I'm sorry. I can't let you in. There is a list of people who can come and visit him for now. It is so people cannot disturb his or the family's peace. I’m sorry but I can't let anyone disrupt his recovery.” The man dropped his head in a stiff, unapologetic bow of apology. "Your names are excluded from the list."

“Why the…” Brain strained to walk past and was fighting against the restraining arms that held him too. 

Seokjin bit out, “Don’t be an idiot. This is not going to help him or Mark. Stop struggling and let’s come back later.” 

A woman at the side said, "I'm sorry, Kim Seokjin-ssi, but you won’t be allowed in later either. Your names are not on the list of people allowed to see Jaebeom-ssi." The nurse bowed in apology. "I’m sorry."

Mark was outraged. “But I’m his boyfriend!”

“Only a Jinyoung-ssi is listed as his partner. No Mark Tuan. I’m sorry.” She bowed and walked back to her station. 

“Wait! There’s been some mistake! Wait! Wait!” 

He felt the security guards tighten their hand around his arms. He could feel the strong tug as they silently gave him to option to walk out under his own steam. Seething, he allowed himself to be guided toward the entrance. It took all of Seokjin and Brain's concerted effort to get Mark into the car to go home. 

This was not how it was supposed to go - they were supposed to be able to walk in, see Jaebeom, and he would say 'hey great to see you' and everything would be okay. Instead, they got this shit show of a hell hole about some fucking list that said Mark wasn't allowed to visit. What the actual fuck??? 

* * * * * 

Mark was back home, brooding. He frowned as he thought about the situation, his hands slowly ripping up paper and throwing it onto the table top. It was creating a mess but he didn't care.

Jin and Brain had gone into their respective workplaces after simultaneously trying to cheer up and calm down Mark and reassuring him that they'd come up with a plan to get him in to see Jaebeom. 

They'd left him unconvinced that they'd be able to get in to see Jaebeom. Mark was mad and he was confused. He was also frustrated. He let out a small growl, startling the other man in the room. Jackson. Mark stared with narrowed eyes at the beefy muscled man working on his laptop at his table. 

For Mark - well, Jackson was his current workplace so in order to distract Mark from his dark, brooding thoughts Jackson came to Mark so the elder wouldn't have to leave the house. 

However, Jin, Brain and himself hadn't told Jackson of the exemption list. They had all thought it better than to tell the hot-headed, passionate Hong Kong man of that particular detail. After all, Jackson was the impulsive, spontaneous type. He might have decided to go into the hospital himself and cause more havoc than was completely necessary. But it left Mark feeling like shit because he couldn't even talk to Jackson about it. Hence the ripping of paper and throwing it, well, everywhere.

The three of them, however, did tell Jackson that it had been difficult to see Jaebeom and that Mark had been unable to gain access in. So Jackson understood that Mark was despondent and grumpy and sad all rolled into one Mark-Tuan-shaped package. But Jackson was here trying to cheer up and distract Mark, and well, that wasn't a good thing.

For one, Mark's head was jumbled and full of memories from his time with Jaebeom: walking together in Hakone, bungy jumping together, seeing Mt Fuji together, eating food together; he wanted more than anything to do that and more again with Jaebeom. 

And two, he wasn't on the list to see his boyfriend who had woken up from a coma and what?  _ What the actual fuck, Universe?  _

So Mark revolved from seeing past memories back to why was he exempted from seeing Jaebeom.

The questions were never-ending. The answers unsatisfying and created more questions than answers. Why was there an exemption list? Why were Jin and Brain off the list? Why was his name specifically on the 'exclude' list? Surely, Jinyoung wouldn't be that petty? He froze as a particularly unpleasant thought came to him; _what if it wasn't Jinyoung but Jaebeom who asked for them to not be included in that list?_ Mark's mind was swirling with this new possibility. Then a shiver went down his spine. Would Jaebeom's parents intervene and make Jaebeom see Mark as an error? What if they had put his name on the list? How would they have known to put him on the list? What if Jinyoung told them stories of Mark and that was why he was not on the list?

"Mark, are you even listening to me?"

Mark turned his head. "What?"

"Hey, I've been talking to you about this." Jackson looked at him, nonplussed. "Where is your head?"

Obviously, Mark wasn't interested in hearing about contracts or designs or anything gym or diet related. "Oh, sorry." He tried to sound sorry, but he wasn't, not really. His mind really was all about Jaebeom at this stage.

"You're still not paying attention." Jackson was eyeing him closely and Mark felt the strain of seeming normal. The man eyed Mark with a knowing look, "And I don't think you have been for a while."

"Well, no, I haven't," admitted Mark with a grump. He grumbled, "But you have to admit, you have been going on for ages. It's like you like the sound of your own voice or something."

Jackson frowned. "Hey, I know things are shit right now, Mark, but what's gotten into you?"

Mark looked at the earnest man. "Nothing's gotten into me," Mark lied. 

Jackson snorted derisively. "Really? You sounded pretty shitty then. I might have to leave and then come back with your attitude."

Mark rolled his eyes before he could stop himself. "Oh, here we go, Mr-I'm-sensitive. 'Imma leave then come back.'" His tone waspish, Mark felt the insult leave his mouth, and almost instantly regretted it.  _ God. What was wrong with him? Oh, that's right, he couldn't see Jaebeom because of some freaking fucking list! But that was no way to be to his best friend. _

Mark caught the look Jackson threw him and braced himself.  _ Yep, he deserved that look and whatever was coming. Jackson would start swinging soon.  _ Mark had almost forgotten how sensitive the Hong Kong man was sharing his ideas on work in the first place, let alone if he was being ignored while expressing them, and his temper although short was pretty bad when it was unleashed. Mark was prepared to take it.

"What the fuck, Mark?" Jackson shook his head. "You know what, fuck it. You've been a shit since I got here."

But then something that had been wound up tight in Mark snapped. He found himself unable to take control back of his feelings - all the turmoil and turbulence of the day swirling around inside him and spilling over out of him. 

"Fuck you." Mark retorted. 

Jackson raised his brows at him. "No. Fuck you." He put the lid down on his laptop and scowled, "What crawled up your ass and died? Month old sperm? You need to get past it. So you can't see the man who just about died for you. So what? We need to work here. Pay some bills, you know? Not all of us can live off the profits of the sale of a business."

Mark was offended. "Hey!"

Jackson snapped. "Hey, what?! Truth is you got shagged to within an inch of your life. And by somebody who knew how. You fucked him, he fucked you and gave you a good rimming which apparently meant that you gave him your heart. Then he up and went into a coma. And now you can't get in to see him. Boo fucking hoo. Is that it in a nutshell?" 

"That's not it!" Mark declared hotly at Jackson.  _ Okay yeah, that was it. _

"Then WHAT IS IT?!" Jackson yelled back. "Because I have watched you all fucking morning lose your shit and I'm just about done with babying the fuck out of you. You don't get to act shit towards people who care about your sorry fucking ass, Yi-en!" Jackson turned away, waving a hand disgustedly in denial. "You know what - forget it. You left your cock-whipped ass in fucking Japan. Find your fucking balls wherever it was you left them! Or find someone to hump and get over him!"

"Oh! I'm sorry I'm not on the prowl and finding a fuck buddy. My boyfriend is currently in the hospital trying to not die!!! I'm not moving onto someone else!"

Jackson lifted his brows up in mock surprise. "Fucking Mark-fucking-Tuan stopped making moves!" He raised his voice as if there were people in the room."Listen up people, he's off the market!"

"Hey! It's not like I made the moves on people a lot before like you do! I didn't do it all the fucking time!"

Jackson conceded, "No, you didn't, but now you fucked somebody and caught some feels! And he's a zombie. Congratulations, fucker!"

"He's not a zombie! And I didn't just catch some feels, Jacks - I fell in fucking LOVE… " Mark gasped and clapped a hand to his mouth at the same time as Jackson did. His eyes went wide as he realised what he'd just outed to his friend. Jackson's eyes were just as wide.

"You… " Jackson stammered, almost at a loss for words, waving an errant finger at the blond. "You… fell … Oh my fucking god, you finally said it… you fell…"

"In love," Mark finished for him on a whisper. " _ Shit." _ He growled at the ceiling in frustration. Mark could feel all the frustrations, the anger, the helplessness he had felt for the past few weeks all rising up from their carefully sealed place inside him. He exploded. "Argh!" he yelled. "What the everlasting fuck?! I finally found a no strings attached, fuck buddy while in another country even, and I go throw my heart in the fucking ring. And you know what? I called his sorry fucking ass, and I fucked him and he fucked me and we had the best ever reunion sex and we agreed to start dating and be exclusive but then he was run over and then in a coma, and now he's awake and all I want to do is see him, and I can't and now I'm shit scared that I've lost my heart to someone who woke up realising he only wanted a rebound!" Mark was breathing hard at the end of his tirade. "Fuck." Fuck. That was it. He was scared. He was so scared that Jaebeom wouldn't want him now. He wanted reassurance that he wasn't a rebound man.

But Jackson still pissed at Mark, roared, "Well, it's too damn late for that now, isn't it, because I see a dumb fuck who lost his heart anyway!!!"

Outraged and angry, Mark shouted, "You're supposed to be my FRIEND!"

Jackson fired back, "I am your friend, you FUCKING moron!" He punched the air and shook his fist at Mark. "It's the only reason I haven't hit you with a baseball bat and kicked you out on the street!" 

"It's MY FUCKING HOUSE!" Mark screamed back at full volume.

"So what?!" Jackson got in the elder's face with gritted teeth. "I'd kick you out and then I'D LEAVE AND LOCK THE DOOR BEHIND ME!!!!"

"WHY ARE WE YELLING???"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE IN LOVE AND IT ALL COMES OUT IN MORON!" 

Jackson threw his arms around Mark and hugged him tighter and tighter until the older blond collapsed in tears. "I miss him, Jackson. I miss him so much! What if he doesn't want me? What if he realises that I was the rebound guy that was good for a while but now that he's had this life-threatening accident, he decides that I'm not enough?"

Jackson shook him then hugged the older man tighter. "Okay, that is it! You are coming to the gym with me tomorrow, whether you like it or not! You need to work off this rubbish emotional shit of yours!" Mark gave a watery grin through the tears as Jackson muttered grumpily, "Fucking falling in love without my careful eye on the proceedings. Look at what that gets you."

They stayed like that, Mark being held and the other holding him until the tears ceased and the sobs decreased and the older man was able to finally relax since that morning. 

Jackson ran his hands through Mark's hair soothingly. His distinctive voice sounded soft as he said, "It's not you are loved or not loved, Yi-En. It's about loving or not loving. It's what makes us different beasts from the animals out there. We choose to love, and who to love. And we choose who not to love. In your case, you choose to love Jaebeom. Whether he chooses to love you back is not up to you, but to him. I'm sure that he's fallen for you once, I'm sure he can do it again."

_ That's what I'm afraid of. What if he doesn't? _

Mark felt the other man lay him down and soothing him to sleep. It was still early morning, but he went willingly to the land of Nod. He hoped to at least find Jaebeom there.

* * * * * 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Are y'all still yelling at me? Yell/heated discussion at me in the comments below. Or on Twitter @tjbaby101


	28. Sweet Dreams are Made of These

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom is so over being the hospital. He is over the visitors that are not Mark. When is Mark coming? And what bombshell is Jinyoung about to drop.

* * *

 

_ God, he'd been in a coma.  _

_ A fucking coma. _

For Jaebeom, it had been a number of days since he'd woken from his coma and Jaebeom's voice was back and he was finding it easier to move around.

_ But damn… a coma? _

It was like some kind of bad K-drama. Can you play the major character in the drama that is your life? Jaebeom certainly felt like it at the moment. If he was the main character then who was his lead? Jinyoung or Mark? Which of them was the second lead? Everyone knows that second leads don't get their man so that should be Jinyoung then. Who would watchers vote for his partner… Jinyoung or Mark?  _ God _ . He closed his eyes and rubbed them briefly. Only K-dramas had people go into comas and then come out of it with your recently-exed ex-boyfriend and both sets of parents. He snorted. He was lucky and thankful that he didn't have amnesia. He groaned internally. He hadn't lost all his mental faculties - had he? He didn't want to be that guy who lost his mind while in a fucking coma. He could remember his name, age, his parents, Jinyoung's parents and of course, Jinyoung himself. And he could also remember Youngjae and Seokjin and that he referred to them as Brain and Jin. But most of all, he could remember that he'd gone to Japan, had the trip of his dreams, and how his world had been turned around by one lanky blond and his boyish grin and sexy smile. He remembered meeting the man of his then-unknown dreams in the form of Mark. He threw his head back in frustration.  _ Who could forget doing that? _

_ … Mark laughing and squeezing into his side, smiling cutely _ _ … Mark purring, "Good boy…" _ _ , the blond jerking within his arms, abs clenching tightly, hips jerking, jaw-dropping to gasp hotly, the blond's eyes dark and intense, almost glaring at Jaebeom. Mark Tuan, turned on equalled one hot fuck mess…  _ _  looking down to see Mark; wet hair pushed back off his forehead, wet face staring up at him, licking his pink lips before he leaned forward to touch the tip of his tongue to the slit of Jaebeom's hard cock. _ _ … looking at a full frontal naked Mark in the mirror, hands braced on the counter, a beautifully big hard-on that was being gripped by yours truly and the hand that disappeared between his legs... _

Jaebeom had not forgotten a single part of Mark. But yes, he remembered Mark - far too easily. Nothing was wrong with his dick it seemed. Especially, when he'd woken up with morning wood and thinking of Mark, but it didn't take long in the hospital environment for it to disappear on its own - nothing like morning conversations about bowel movements and the like to make happy thoughts disappear. Ah, but yes, his dick had it bad for the blond. So bad that briefly, when he'd been hard, he had even entertained the idea of wanking with the 'off' hand because he'd been  _ that _ hard. Jaebeom - and his dick - could have sworn he could smell Mark in the room last night, and he could have sworn that he'd felt Mark kissing his lips while he slept. Of course, Jaebeom knew that was impossible. 

This made Jaebeom very grumpy. And everyone knew a grumpy Jaebeom made for a lackluster and uncooperative visit.

The dark haired man brooded as he thought of all the reasons as to why his boyfriend - _his_ _motherfucking_ _boyfriend_ \- was not by his side. 

One, they were really not even yet a couple-couple - well they were, but their relationship wasn't even out as an official thing to his friends that they'd been on their way to see, let alone his actual family which brings up number two… the family who incidentally didn't even know about his ten-year relationship breaking up. Oh yeah, like he could totally see how Mark wouldn't want to hang around for that.

It had been so easy to read Mark - he and Mark had understood one another so well - plus knowing what the younger man knew of Mark, the older man would have felt some kind of issue with being around when all this was going on. 

But still… 

Jaebeom pouted as he thought about this - which was often since he'd woken.  _ He would have to find that man and hunt him down - how dare he stay away? _ It wasn't like he was legally obligated to be there when he woke up from his coma, but one would think he would at least be there a few times by now. 

He sighed. No, Mark wouldn't be here. Jaebeom could read him like a book despite not knowing him for long. The blond would have stayed away in order to not interfere because that part of Mark would be so governed by what was right and not by what he wanted.  _ Stupid man.  _ The older man would have assessed the parentals and decided that he wouldn't interfere because he and Jaebeom hadn't known each other long enough. Jaebeom sighed heavily, his chin jutting out in his annoyance, and glared at his leg still cast high in the sling to help keep the swelling down and the blood circulating. He'd have to wait until he could move around but boy, that man had a piece of Jaebeom's mind coming when he found him. Jaebeom felt affronted.  _ How dare he be all perfect and shit and then not be there when he woke up? _

He wanted to find the older man now, but he couldn't because he was stuck here in this  _ stupid _ hospital room with his  _ stupid _ ex-boyfriend and the  _ stupid _ comedic farce that they were having to put on for the parents. 

He couldn't cross his arms so he settled for pouting and glaring at everyone in general. He could always blame it on the pain in his limbs.  _ Stupid fucking broken limbs. _ He frowned at his casts again. 

The cast on his leg and arm were not helping him on the moving front but it seemed that everything else was recovering well. At least the doctor seemed happy with his progress and had even talked about possibly going home. Jaebeom had been ecstatic to hear that because he wanted out of this hospital bed, but he knew it would be hard to do things on his own. He would do it, of course - he's not disabled really, but being non-weight bearing on his right leg, and also recovering a broken left arm would make it extremely difficult to manage by himself. At least, he could be thankful for being somewhat of an ambidextrous left-hander.

Of course, Jinyoung had volunteered to be at Jaebeom's side. Jaebeom mentally eye-rolled at that. Jaebeom wasn't sure what to do with regards to Jinyoung. Both sets of parents had been around since he had woken up, and they'd had to keep up with the act of being together and while it had been easy enough to slip back into the way of addressing one another and act as if they were still together, when it came to touching one another, Jaebeom still couldn't help but flinch when Jinyoung touched him. 

But Jinyoung seemed so… almost obsequious. It was unnerving. It was almost as if he was the one apologising for the accident as well as for Mark not being there. Still, it didn't make Jaebeom feel any easier about Jinyoung being around and having to act like they were still together whenever the parents were around. Funnily enough, the hospital staff didn't even bat an eyelid. 

Talking of Jinyoung… here he was again. He was there every moment that the parents were. Which was almost every damn waking moment in Jaebeom's book. At least it seemed like that. The medications certainly didn't help as he found himself sleepy and drowsing off at the oddest of times, only to wake again when the nurse of the day came in to check on him. 

He turned his head to observe the visitor group from the safety of his bed. It really was like happy families, and his ex-boyfriend, Jaebeom felt, was milking every single bit of it. The two sets of parents had turned up within seconds of one another and Jinyoung had slipped into his room just minutes beforehand. And they all sat around talking as if Jaebeom and Jinyoung were  _ still _ Jinyoung and Jaebeom. 

It drove Jaebeom just a  _ little _ bit nuts. Okay, a lot nuts. Almost insane even. This is what should be Mark's place, not Jinyoung's. And his brain and heart were not happy with the picture before him. He wanted Jin and Brain to visit him - have a laugh and to just be. Just so he didn't have to keep painting a smile on his face and bear the touch of Jinyoung.

Jinyoung's mother's voice broke through his thoughts. "So Jaebeom-ah, you'll be happy now that the doctor is saying it won't be long before you can go home, won't you? 

He plastered a smile to his face, hoping it would cover the disappointment he felt. "I hope so, but they said it's still early days, but all the signs are good."

"That's good - it will be nice to be in your own space."

"It must have been a hard time for Jinyoungie here to come here every day," Jaebeom's mom pointed out. "You should be thankful that he is this good a man to you."

_ Thankful? Thankful? That he has to put on this front all the times? _ He opened his mouth to say something but Jinyoung bet him to it.

"Oh, stop that, Eomma, Eomeonim," Jinyoung ducked his head and gave a small embarrassed smile. "It's what you do. Jaebeom would have done it for me too."

Would he? Would he have done this for Jinyoung? Probably not, considering their most recent history. He wouldn't be sitting in a hospital telling his old almost-in-laws that he was still dating their son. 

Okay, not what  _ he _ would have said. He watched Jinyoung carefully, noting the man to not be truly embarrassed as none of the usual tells were there. Jinyoung was playing, acting if you will and internally, Jaebeom rolled his eyes. His mother's next words made him gag a little. 

"No, it's what  _ you _ do, Jinyoung-ah," Mrs Im said. "You have raised a good son," she added, looking at the Parents Park. "He looks after my Jae-ah so well." They smiled and nodded and gave their thanks.

_ Oooh, look at everyone all happily praising each other. Yay. Let's all hold hands and skip around the happy toadstool village. Yippee-doo-dah _ . 

Yeah, he wasn't feeling the love fest happening in the room. Jaebeom was feeling out of sorts with having to keep up this weird pretense with Jinyoung, and of course, the Mark issue. He couldn't help it. 

Waspishly, he said, "It's what you do for people you love. Turn up and look after them. That's if you don't stop loving them first." God, he really was a grump. He could see his mother scrutinising him from across the room. He reined himself in a little. "Sorry - feeling out of sorts today. Must be the meds."

Jinyoung smoothed Jaebeom's comment over with, "It's okay. We are always there for one another - regardless of what happens or has happened, you are there for friends."

Jaebeom's mum spoke then, "You know, you don't ever fall out of love with people, you just fall in more love with other things or other people. Once you love something or someone you cannot turn it off, it's just outloved by something else."

Jaebeom noticed his mother assessing them. Jaebeom saw the start that Jinyoung gave. And the look the younger man shot him. And he was pretty sure his mother noticed it too.  _ Damn _ .

"It's a fine line between love and hate. You can cross over to hate pretty easily." Jinyoung nodded his head as he said it.

Mr Park scoffed, "Aiii, Jinyoungie! Hate is a pretty strong emotion!" 

"Yeah, well, so is love," he retorted. 

Mr Im spoke up to add his two cents worth, "If you hate something or someone then you must have had very strong emotions for them and it will be very hard to let them go because you have tied them into that strong emotion. If you want to let them go, then stop feeling strongly about them. Love something or someone else more."

"That is a very interesting viewpoint." Mr Park noted. "Not falling out of love, huh? So are you saying that you never fall out of love?"

"Exactly. You love things or people, but you don't stop loving something one day. You just find that you start loving something else more. Like for example, you loved a teddy bear once upon a time, and took it to bed with you; maybe even everywhere with you. Then one day you discovered building blocks. Now, you didn't stop loving the bear, but the building blocks gave your imagination a chance to do more things than you could with the bear so you played with that more. Then, one day, you notice the bear and realise that you don't love it the same way you used to and you put it away on a shelf or on your desk. It still catches your eye every now and again, and it still holds a special place in your heart, but it's not what you love the most any longer."

"Okay, wow. That's really a very interesting perspective. I think I'd like to explore that philosophy more," mused Mr Park. "There was a girl who claimed she loved me when we were four years old - maybe she can be the backup plan if things don't go to plan?" he teased Mrs Park.

"Oh,  _ pabo _ ," she grinned as she shoved at him. 

Jinyoung broke in to ask, "Okay, something slightly segue way-ish… Tell me what happens if you are passionate about a hobby; you love it right? But you love a person too, right? But the hobby starts overtaking your life -- would it consume you to the point of forgetting about that person you love?" 

Jaebeom definitely rolled his eyes openly then - Jinyoung hated his hobbies because it took the focus away from being with Jinyoung 24/7. But he, too, was interested in the response.

"Oh, now this I think I can answer," declared Mr Park. "A thing you do - like a hobby or a passion - might fill some part of you that a person cannot," Mr Park said.

Mr Im agreed. "True. It does not mean you love that person any less; just that they cannot fill that space that the other thing does."

"What do you mean?" Jaebeom couldn't help but be drawn into the conversation.

Mr Park explained, "Well, for instance, a person might feel something missing from his life. So he searches until he finds something that fills that hole. It might be music, books, photography, tennis, golf, whatever. But it makes that person feel really good and more whole. Now, there isn't a hole anymore. But that other person can't fill up that hole because it's no longer a hole, is it?" 

Both Jinyoung and Jaebeom nodded. 

"But… you have to be careful because if you - a person - are someone's passion, and they are not yours, they - the other person - will resent you for not showing the same amount of emotion back."

Jaebeom felt Jinyoung shoot him a look. He threw a sardonic look back - after all, it wasn't him that made Jinyoung put himself first. 

"A passion like art, music, sport can give you something back in satisfaction in a job well done - for it is tangible; a person is more fluid, less obvious. You can't always see the emotional result of having all interests lay in a single other person. You can't see yourself getting better, or improving or getting stronger. We are a results-based species. Hence why it is important to have other interests other than your partner."

"Don't forget, no one person can hope to fill every single space in another person's life," added Mrs Im.

"Why not?"

She replied, "Because a person is meant to grow and if you are filled with only one aspect of life, then you cannot find personal growth as a human being. It is why we encourage you to see more to the world around you than just money or work. You need to see the beauty in the world. If one person takes up your space, you may miss all that beauty."

"But don't you need to love the other person with all of your being?" Jinyoung asked.

Mrs Im answered, "Yes, but you need to give them space to breathe, to grow, to remain true to themselves. You have to take their good and their bad, and you have to understand the reasons why they are the way they are. You are not there to fix them. You are there to love them."

Mr Im nodded, "Yes. That's right. You should complement a person in a relationship, to add something to their life; not take away or diminish something of theirs. I offer something that your mother is missing and vice versa. Like, sure, I love your mother, but she has her faults," Mr Im laughed as Mrs Im slapped his arm, also laughing. He exclaimed, "Wait, wait! It's true! But… but I don't draw attention to them! Ok, well right now I am!" He carefully explained, holding tightly to his mother's hands so she couldn't hit him again - they both had smiles on their faces as they stared at one another and as his father continued to speak. "Instead of telling her about the 'bad' traits so she can 'fix' them, I compliment her about all the good things about the bits that are beautiful about her. And when the not so great traits come out that maybe I don't think is her most flattering best, I help her through them by being by her side - like when she gets hungry and gets cranky, I know to not bother her with my own troubles, but to maybe get her some tea and five minutes on her own to help her find her equilibrium again. Plus it helps if I stand back and throw chocolate at her." They both laughed. "Then I help her get food and to stop her being so hangry. Then she is just her beautiful self again. I complement her by offsetting her. Like salt and pepper." 

Jaebeom took in the loving looks his parents were exchanging and was momentarily taken back to being a child again as his parents sat there showing love. He had promised himself that he would one day get that too - for himself. He would find somebody who looked at him the way his father looked at his mother and his mother looked at his father - like they were something special and exciting... Like food coming from the kitchen when you were starving, his mother once said. 

His father turned to speak at him, causing Jaebeom to start as he was brought out of his memories. "You do this with Jinyoungie, Jae-ah."

He was momentarily flustered. "I do?" he hedged.

"Yeah, you tend to him when he gets annoyed sometimes and you soothe him until he becomes right again."  _ Oh, right.  _

Jaebeom felt Jinyoung shoot him another look but he resolutely kept his eyes on his father's face. "I thought I was doing it well enough, but sometimes I think it was never enough…" The memory of Jinyoung's,  _"_ _I don't love you anymore" flashed through his brain._

Jinyoung quickly rushed in to speak, "It's always enough but sometimes, you need to be more present. It's hard when you aren't there."

"Yes, it's very hard to fix things when you're not there, isn't it?" Jaebeom quipped, the sting in his comment hidden by the tight smile on his face. He turned back to the parents who were looking at them both. "Thank you Eomma, Appa, and also thank you Eomeoni, Abeoji." He nodded his thanks to the Parks. "Your advice is and has always been gratefully accepted and appreciated. 

Mrs Park smiled. "Ah, you two are always good at managing one another. You have done so for such a long time. It is good that you are always looking for ways to appreciate one another more."

Jinyoung bowed his head and nodded too. "Thank you. We are always given good advice from you all." Jinyoung touched Jaebeom's shoulder and squeezed and left his hand there. Jaebeom tried very hard to not shrug it off. 

Mrs Park smiled her gentle smile. "We must be tiring you out, Jaebeom-ah. Maybe we should go for a walk and leave you two for a moment?"

"Oh no, it's fine," Jaebeom reassured her. 

However, Jinyoung interrupted, "He should really rest. The doctors said it's better if he can rest. Maybe you can go for lunch or early dinner someplace nearby?"

Mrs Im stood up, indicating for the others to do the same. "What a good idea. A little fresh air would do us good."

He saw the look the mothers exchanged and sighed. He thought they thought they were doing them a favour by leaving them to have 'alone' time but really… no. 

The door slid closed behind the parents. "Jaebeom?"

"What?" he asked, exhausted.

The pretense was dropped the minute the parental units left. He didn't have the energy to fake nice-nice to his not-even-on-his-radar ex-boyfriend.

"Don't be snarky."

Jaebeom was tired. "Why? Does it not work in with your grand plan or something?" he asked exasperation creeping into his voice. All of this hiding the truth was wearing him out fast. It was making it harder for him to appreciate his parents coming in to visit him. And this coaching of his actions -  _ wow, this felt just like when they used to be together.  _ He noticed Jinyoung sigh and look at him. Jaebeom knew that look - it was full of resignation and growing resentment. Okay, yep, just like when they were together. He had never fully noticed how toxic their relationship was; he'd only grieved for it as it had ended so abruptly. The hindsight… wow. Just wow.

Jinyoung crossed his arms and gave him a tight smile. Jaebeom gave him a similar one back. The younger boy's tone was plaintive as he asked Jaebeom, "Can you at least look like you aren't wanting to kill me at every turn? I know couples go through difficulties, but this makes us look positively on the rocks. And you really need to stop looking like your skin is crawling every time I touch you. "

"Why, does it hurt your feelings?" Jaebeom knew he was being an ass but he really didn't want to continue being nice when he still hadn't technically stopped disliking Jinyoung.  _ Ass. Idiot. Fucker. Wanker. Gosh, hadn't he let this go already? _

Jaebeom sighed heavily. He was being an ass when Jinyoung was only just trying to help him out. After all, it was his own fault that his parents hadn't known about their breakup. "What do you want me to do?"

"No, but I want you to look like you at least care about me. My parents will notice if you are an ass towards me."

He sighed. It was like hearing a variation on a character from a well-known movie and book constantly saying, 'Wait until my Father hears about this.' Jinyoung always did like that character. Probably should have known that Jinyoung was secretly a pompous little ass. 

"I could always tell them about the ass you were in breaking up with me."

Jinyoung huffed, his full lips pouting. "Come on, Jaebeom! That was a while ago. And to be honest, I didn't think you were still holding onto that. 

"I'm not."  _ Much _ .

"It sounds like it. Do you still care that much about me that you are hung up about our breakup?"

"No. I got over you."

"By getting under someone else?" Jinyoung's tone was somewhat acerbic. 

Jaebeom narrowed his eyes at him. "Wasn't that your thing?"

"Is that what you think?"

Jaebeom raised a brow at him and shrugged. "It's what I heard. It's not really my concern, is it. It only matters if it was when we were together."

Jinyoung crossed his arms and made a pout of his lips. "So you heard this from someplace, hmm? Really? Which of the petty wonders told you that then? Jin? Jae?"

"Does it matter?" Jaebeom asked, sighing.

"No, not really," admitted Jinyoung. "I still care about you even though we aren't together. I can see you still care about me."

Jaebeom exploded. "For fuck's sake, Jinyoung, I'm not holding onto you."

He looked genuinely surprised. "Really? You wanted me to stay though."

Jaebeom stared hard at him and laid it out on the line to make it clear. "No, that was  _ your _ assumption. I was actually trying to say I don't want you here. I'm sorry if that hurts you. My mouth wasn't working well enough that day. Much like other parts of me still isn't working well enough so I can leave this hospital or this conversation," he muttered darkly. 

"Oh, really? Is that so?" 

Jaebeom could tell that Jinyoung was working himself up to have a fight and he wasn't up for that. "Jinyoung.  Don't think I haven't appreciated all you've done. But let's face it. We aren't supposed to work out. You took a step that guaranteed that we would never turn back into 'us' again."

"But I do care about you, Jaebeom."

"I care about you too. But this is not going to go any further. After I get out of this hospital, you and I are never going to see one another because we will have told the parents and they will understand and then we can live happily or unhappily ever after."

Jinyoung tangled the sheet around his fingers, " Actually…. Admittedly, I think it wasn't exactly the smartest move I'd made…" Jinyoung lifted his eyes to look at Jaebeom. "I-I maybe should never have left you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yell in the comments please. Tell me what you really think.


	29. A Reason to Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung dropped his bombshell and Jaebeom deals with the aftermath. But Jinyoung has more news to deliver. How will Jaebeom deal with this new set of news?
> 
> Mark is nearer his goal - to see Jaebeom. But will Jinyoung destroy what he has built with Jaebeom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and the tweets and the DMs. Loving the feedback, even though y'all are hating on Jinyoung. I hope this chapter will make it up to you all.

 

" _What?_ " He looked incredulously at the younger man who was apprehensively chewing that lower lip Jaebeom had kissed so many times before. "Are you seriously telling me that you are standing here telling me you've made a mistake in breaking my heart?" Jaebeom couldn't believe it. He laughed a little brokenly. "In breaking up with me?" He threw his head back and stared up at the ceiling. "Are you kidding me?" he asked softly. " _Aish_ . _Jinyoungie_." He sighed and continued to stare at the ceiling. After a moment, he said, "Don't. Just please, don't do this. You only think that way because our parents are here and we have to act 'together'." He lifted his head and looked back at the boy who was standing there, lips pursed, staring at him. He frowned. "Is this why you are here trying to look after me?"

"Eh, Jinyoung-ah. You told me you don't love me anymore. I would have understood if you had said you don't love me the same way anymore; that things weren't working between us. That _we_ weren't working any longer. Anything. But you telling me you don't love me anymore - that shit smarts, Jinyoung. You don't get to walk in here and tell me you changed your mind and that you want me back. Nope - you don't get to shit on me like that and expect me to take you back. I'm better than that. I deserve more than that."

"Jaebeom, you have been the only man I cared for in my life for this length of time. I was so scared and worried for you when I saw you broken and lying there. Surely that shows I still care about you?" The younger man's speech was impassioned for sure, Jaebeom will give him that. But …

Jaebeom stared long and hard at the man who months ago he would have leaped at the chance to have him return to him and say this. The older man looked - really looked - at Jinyoung - the Jinyoung who he had pledged to love for pretty much all eternity, and saw him for the first time in a long time as the same young, scared, sensitive boy he had fallen in love with. And who was too scared to be alone. His heartbeat for a moment for that young boy. But for the man who hurt him… it beat firm and strong against allowing Jinyoung entrance. It didn't stop Jaebeom from wanting to be gentle with the man who he had once loved with all of his heart.

"Jinyoungie… Jesus Christ, I can't believe I'm going to be doing this…" He took a deep breath and looked hard at Jinyoung, grabbing the other man's hand in his. "Jinyoung, you are a caring and sensitive person." He waited until he saw the man nod stiffly at his words. "Sure, you're an ass but…" And he gathered some kind of inner strength he didn't know he possessed to say this, "... you love deeply and greatly. And very possessively. And while you would have looked at me and thought about how much you cared for me, it wasn't the love that we shared that made you feel that - it was the empathy that you are full of." He patted the man's hands. "You no longer love me, Jinyoung. Remember? We can't go back to how it was - not even if we truly both wanted to. And I don't want to. I found someone I want to love more."

Jaebeom watched tears well up in the younger man's eyes, and that lip quiver, before the tears spilled over to run down those full cheeks. _Ah, fuck, he just made it worse._ He felt the prickle of his own tears. He had always cried if Jinyoung cried. _Dammit_. He took a deep breath. He wasn't doing this. He refused to do this. Jinyoung would cry and he would cry and then there would be some words said and then Jaebeom would give in to what Jinyoung wanted… No, he wouldn't do this.

He pulled away and leaned back, closing his eyes, willing the man to leave the room. It was silent, save for the harsh breathing coming from Jinyoung. Jaebeom heard him take several deep yet shaky breaths, and it sounded like the younger was wiping his cheeks free of tears. There was a moment where everything was still and Jaebeom resisted opening his eyes because he knew Jinyoung would most likely be staring at him. His heart sounded loud to his ears as it pounded in his chest. Finally, Jinyoung sniffed, coughed and picked up his bag. He heard him stop at the door. The time spent listening and waiting for the younger man to leave seemed interminable until finally, he heard the man open the door and leave, the door sliding closed behind him.

Jaebeom released the pent-up breath he was holding and let his body relax. _Oh god_ . He let his own tears fall weakly out of his eyes and he wiped them with a shaky hand… _Why, Jinyoungie? Why are you saying things like that?_

_Oh my god._

Jaebeom could not believe this. After everything Jinyoung wants him back ... Did the last month not happen? Where were all the words Jaebeom wanted to say? Where were all the hurt feelings and all the other shit?

It was tiring… His body healing was tiring, but Jinyoungie in his emotional bubble was even more tiring. He'd almost forgotten how hard it was to be with the younger man. But this? This was wearing and tiring and it was almost more than his soul could bear right now. He wasn't strong enough to deal with all of this and Jinyoung was coming at him from out of left field. No. He didn't want to know that Jinyoung regretted leaving him. Too much water under the bridge and most of it was Jaebeom's own tears. There was no turning back time - not any longer.

He stared with watery eyes at the ceiling. This emotional rollercoaster was how it always was with Jinyoung-and-Jaebeom. It was never like this with Mark…  never with Mark.

His eyes pricked with more tears and he felt them falling as his heart screamed for the older man. A sound rose in his throat and finally, he cried, sobbing, with one hand over his face. He cried, letting the fear and uncertainty out; he cried, letting the lies and the truth come out; and he cried, letting the yearning and desire rise to the surface and overflow.

_Mark, where are you? I need you._

His heart ached and cried and he wanted his man to come and take his hand and wipe away his tears. Instead, he was alone and he hated it.

But there was no Mark and he was all alone.

He alone wiped away his tears; he alone gathered himself together and he alone, took the long, slow, deep breaths in the silence of the otherwise empty room.

It was tiredness that swept through his body and he welcomed it with open arms. He felt himself being beckoned by the land of sleep and let himself fall into the sweet abyss.

And if he quietly - just quietly - let himself hope for more dreams of Mark, no one was there to know.

 

* * * * *

By the time Jaebeom resurfaced after his nap, it was much later in the day; the sun was lower and he could hear Jinyoung on the phone to someone.

"...no… I don't think so. Just change the keypad combination. I don't want strangers in our apartment. No. It's fine. I think he'll just need time to heal. Make sure to reschedule his appointments. Yes, we are fine here. Just let his team know he's okay. Yes. Yes. Yep, we understand it's confusing but it's how it is. No no, don't apologise. It's okay. Just thank god, he is okay now…"

 _Is Jinyoung doing what he thinks? What the fuck is going on?_ Jaebeom asked baldly, "What are you doing?"

Jinyoung turned with a start. "Oh, you're awake." He hung up his call and went over to Jaebeom.

"Yes, and what are you doing?" Jaebeom was sure that Jinyoung was talking to Jisoo and from what he had been able to work out, sorting out _his_ schedule and _his_ work and _his_ life. No.

Jinyoung said breezily. "I'm changing the locks and passcodes to our apartment."

Jaebeom was incredulous. " _Our_ apartment? What? You left, remember?"

"Jaebeom…"

"Jinyoung, no." His tone was flat and unemotional. Jaebeom was determined to have this talk with Jinyoung and make it very clear that it was not going to happen. Did Jinyoung really think he could say he missed Jaebeom and had made a mistake, and move back in? Ah, no. Why was he determined to play happy families? "You left. You have been really good during this time but you can't just waltz back in and move in as if you never left."

"Ah, actually, about that…"

Jaebeom looked wide-eyed and incredulously at the younger man. "Are you _fucking_ joking?!"

"Well,” Jinyoung had the grace to at least look uncomfortable and embarrassed. “The thing is... when you are discharged, your parents want to come to visit and my parents are coming to stay and help 'us' out."

His brain felt like it exploded. "No…" he heard himself say. "I have friends. Friends who will help me. After we have explained to our parents, you can go away and besides, I will have Mark…"

Jinyoung broke in, his face in a scowl, and his voice holding a touch of exasperation, "Mark won't be there. Jaebeom. He hasn't been here. _Why_ are you still counting on him?"

“Why are you so _sure_ he won’t be there for me? Once he hears I’m awake… look, you don’t know him. It's not Mark's way. You must have said something to keep him away!” He couldn’t take back the accusation hanging in the air.

Jinyoung looked affronted. "Jaebeom!"

He couldn't help the outraged explosion that had him blurting, "Jinyoungie, I know you! If someone gets in your way you move heaven or hell to get your way! I'm half surprised you haven't murdered him or attempted to run him over..."

"I don't do that!"

"You do!"

Jinyoung took a deep breath before he launched into an equally outraged tirade. "Jaebeom - believe me, I want nothing more than for you to be happy! When I saw you in Tokyo I was happy that you'd moved on. I wasn't sure if you would but you did! Honest to god, I care about your happiness!" Jinyoung's voice was full of emotion as he spoke, but Jaebeom had heard all the different tones all before. "Look, I know I've hurt you, but it's not too late to forgive, Jaebeom. It's not. I had hoped you would find it in your heart to forgive me… I really regret hurting you like that. I really do. Please let me do this, Jaebeom. Let me be here for you. Allow me to care for you in our house and then we can work on building your strength and then when you are stronger, we can tell our parents and then maybe, just maybe, we can both heal."

In a weird sort of way, he could see the point that Jinyoung was making but at the same time, he wasn't sure it was the best solution and he said so. Jinyoung said he was only doing it because he cared. That made Jaebeom somewhat angry again. "If you cared you would have kept Mark here. Nothing would have kept him away." Irrationality made his tone sullen. He knew he was being petulant about it all but he was so sure that Jinyoung said something for Mark to stay away like this. After all, the older man had come back from Japan to claim him - he wouldn't leave him. Not like this.

"Not if he didn't want to be here," said Jinyoung, almost too quietly for Jaebeom to hear, but he caught it.

He looked at Jinyoung who wouldn’t meet his eyes. Full of acerbity, Jaebeom snapped, "And what's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Well… shit." Jinyoung looked away into the distance. Jaebeom knew the younger only did this when he was broaching a potentially painful subject. Jaebeom's heart started to pound. It sounded loud to his ears. What was Jinyoung going to say?

Jinyoung took a couple of deep breaths before he continued. "I’m sorry. Jaebeom, I didn't want to tell you this, but Mark… well… _ah_ , _fuck the bastard_ … I told him you were going into surgery and that my parents and I would stay until you were done, but Jaebeom, when I'd gone to tell him, but he wasn't there so I went to look for him. Mark was with some guy - I don't know who it was; they weren't there earlier - but when I went to find Mark, they were sitting so close, you couldn't tell where one started and the other began. They were all over each other. And when I told Mark the news, he left and never came back to see you. He left with that guy who came in. I'm sorry."

 _Fuck_ . _What?_ Jaebeom's mind was suddenly fuzzy, ears buzzing, and he was confused. And his heart constricted and ached. His blood seemed to start to flow thicker and more loudly in his ears. His head started to pound with his pulse. He didn't realise that he was squeezing Jinyoung's hand until Jinyoung spoke again.

"He let you down, Jaebeom. I don't think he's coming back. I think he had… I think that was a boyfriend."

Jinyoung disentangled his hand from Jaebeom, leaving Jaebeom feeling bereft and adrift in his inner turmoil. "Beommie, I'm sorry," said Jinyoung softly. "I didn't mean to drop that on you."

Jaebeom was silent.

He heard Jinyoung sigh. "You need time to yourself - I'm going to go out for a while. Do you want or need anything?"

_Mark. I need Mark._

Jaebeom turned dull eyes to the younger man. Ten years had taught him a lot about reading the younger, just as he knew the younger could read him too. He noted the pity and the concern in Jinyoung's eyes, and the uncomfortableness in his stance that told Jaebeom the younger wanted to leave his presence.

"No," Jaebeom said flatly back to the younger. "I have nothing that you can bring me. Just… it's fine, just go."

He lay back and closed his eyes. He heard the soft swish of the door as it slid open and then closed. He willed away the strong sting of tears.

 

* * * * *

Meanwhile, Mark was back at the hospital, glaring at a nurse on duty in the nurses' station. It had been several days since Mark had been escorted out of the hospital with Jin and Brain. Since then, he'd broken down, gone brain dead, been hauled off to the gym, felt physically, mentally and emotionally drained and today, Mark had woken up. Truly. He'd woken up and decided he was going to find a way in to see Jaebeom. Fuck that. Like Jackson had said, "Find your balls wherever you left them, Mark." No other man was going to keep Mark Tuan away. So he'd pulled himself together and had gone back to the hospital and was in the process of pressing for admission to Jaebeom's room. He stood there, sunglasses in his hand, glaring at the desk nurse on duty, and gritting his teeth, "... but I've been coming in every day until he woke up." _And I'm not about to leave._

The woman dropped her head in yet another small bow of apology. Again. "I am sorry, sir, but I can't." She bowed. Mark noted the security guards walking out of the elevators and towards them. Again. Mark knew the drill now. _Damn_. He leaned forward, pleading softly, "Please - can't you let me in to see him? You know I've been seeing him every night and almost all the afternoons I could get in. Won't you find a way to get me in?"

She shook her head, her eyes sorrowful. He frowned. He didn't want to leave, knowing Jaebeom was just down the hall, but it seemed he had no choice, again. Clenching his jaw tightly, Mark moved toward the entrance, but he was going to have the last word. He called out to her as he walked backwards towards the entrance, "I'll be back again tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. You can't keep me away forever."

A harsh voice called out from the side. "What is going on here?"

Mark turned his head and saw Jinyoung. He stopped in his tracks. The brunet looked angry as he strode to the nurse, demanding answers. Mark hesitated, alternating between walking away and staying where he was. He opted for the latter. He wondered if the brunet was going to get him kicked out. He cocked his head, trying to hear the conversation between Jinyoung and the nurse, but they were speaking too low and fast for him to catch their words.

Mark watched as the two conversed, noting Jinyoung frowning and looking toward Mark while listening intently to the nurse's words. He could see the younger man, looking him up and down as the younger spoke to the nurse in what looked like clipped tones.

Briefly, the blond wondered if the nurse would mention anything about Mark's nightly visits to Jaebeom for the past two weeks. She'd been the one who had let him in until the accursed no entry list.

There seemed to be no antagonistic body language to Jinyoung's stand, Mark noted. In fact, the younger man looked more anxious the lengthier the conversation grew. Finally, Jinyoung turned to the nurse, said a few words before nodding and motioning toward Mark. The nurse bowed her head briefly at Jinyoung before rushing over to Mark. "I'm sorry. There has been a misunderstanding. Mr Tuan, you may visit Im Jaebeom."

Mark held Jinyoung's gaze. He raised a brow at the younger, before dipping his chin in a small nod of thanks. The younger gave a short nod back before he turned on his heel and walked away. Mark watched Jinyoung as he walked off, his stride long and measured. The brunet looked resigned in his gait as he walked away. Mark wondered why.

The nurse touched Mark's shoulder and he turned to look at her. The nurse nodded at him and smiled. "Jaebeom-ssi may be asleep, but you may stay as long as you like."

He nodded.

All of a sudden, Mark realised his mouth was dry as his feet took him down the familiar path to Jaebeom's room. He was nervous. Nervous at seeing Jaebeom after several weeks; nervous at seeing an awake and coherent Jaebeom; nervous at what his reception would be. Heart hammering in his chest, Mark took a deep breath before sliding the door open.

 _Oh._ Jaebeom lay fast asleep on the bed. Mark felt the bitter pang of disappointment at the anticlimactic moment. He sat down in the chair next to the man's bed, staring at Jaebeom's sleeping face. "I'm here, Jaebeommie," he semi-whispered. He grasped Jaebeom's not casted hand and held in his. "I'm really here." He wished the man would wake up, but he was patient. After all, he was here now and nothing would get him to leave again.

He smiled at a snuffle from the injured brunet and silently laughed as Jaebeom gave a particularly loud huff before said man turned his head and snored with his mouth hanging open. Mark swept a hand over Jaebeom's forehead. "Did you know I fell for you the minute our eyes met in that Starbucks?" he asked softly. "You held me enthralled that minute I set eyes on you… You were so embarrassed and flustered, but you were so cute. Damn you and your cutely embarrassed face and your dark eyes...and that stupid bucket hat..."

 

* * * * *

 

 _Was he dreaming? Was he waking up?_ Jaebeom could hear Mark's voice and he could smell Mark's cologne and he wasn't sure if he was in a dream state or awake. His eyes closed after the turmoil of Jinyoung's parting words, he lay there just listening. He could feel the familiar warmth of Mark's hands holding his, that familiar tingle that ran up his arm at Mark's touch. With a start, Jaebeom realised it wasn't a dream; he wasn't just dreaming of Mark being at his side; _it was actually_ Mark by his side. Finally, the man he wanted to see was sitting there talking to him and holding his hand! Jaebeom was overwhelmed with emotion that he was torn between wanting to scream with joy or sob. Instead, he just lay there, relishing the feel of his man's hand and his man's voice being close to him.

"... so, okay, Jackson told me to tell you when I felt it. I don't know if you still recall that moment but I think that when you crawled across that floor, packing be damned, and with that horny look on your face - that was when I realised I had more than just mild feelings for you. I already knew I felt more for you but I hadn't been prepared to take them out and examine. I wasn't sure what they were for sure until later when I realised that we weren't just screwing around - in my head, we were actually making love. I think you touching your tongue to my rim and blowing my mind pretty much sealed the deal."

He heard Mark laugh quietly and Jaebeom could feel the happiness bubble up inside himself at the sound.

"One day, you are going to have to tell me how you got _that_ good at rimming." Mark's voice held a touch of both reverential wonder and teasing amusement.

Jaebeom recalled that moment well too. God, he recalled that moment very well. He could remember the feel of Mark coming undone around him as he tongued that man's rim. Flutterings of feelings swirled around in his stomach and there was a familiar growing tightness - Jaebeom was definitely looking forward to a future repeat of that. But it quickly turned into a tumultuous wave of emotion at Mark's next words.

Jaebeom's heart clenched as Mark's voice turned softer but still as firm and unwavering as he said, "I love you, Jaebeommie. I want to spend a lifetime showing you that if you'll let me."

His breath caught in his chest momentarily before he expelled it slowly. _God, Mark!_ He opened his eyes, and his eyes were held arrested by that beautiful face. _Mark. Mark. His Mark. Beautiful Mark_.

His voice a little rough and raspy from sleep, tongue-in-cheek he asked, "And what makes you think that you can confess like that to someone who is not even awake to hear you?" He heard Mark gasp and Jaebeom grinned, blinking a few times to clear his eyes. He felt Mark's hands tighten around his own.

"Jaebeommie?"

"Mark…" _He was there - with that beautiful gold halo of his. That blond hair is just…_

Jaebeom gripped Mark's hand tighter and he knew they were both drawing strength from their joined hands.

"Hi," he said to the stunned blond.

The blond grinned shyly, but happily at him. He watched Mark as the older man gave him a somewhat cheeky smile and said, "Hey, Sleeping Beauty."

Jaebeom lifted his mouth into a somewhat crooked flirty smile and winked. "What took you so long, beautiful boy?"

The man's jaw dropped, his cheeks turned an endearing shade of pink. The blond dropped his eyes, a small grin on his face, fingers plucking at Jaebeom's hand. Jaebeom internally squeed with the cuteness.

Those beautiful eyes flicked up to look at him again before the blond leaned back and smirked. "I'm sorry. I was delayed a bit, but I'm here now. The dragon that guarded the castle was a bitch."

Jaebeom laughed. He didn't know if Mark meant it to be but it was an accurate description of Jinyoung. Dragon. Haha. That was actually funny. He could imagine Jinyoungie as a fire-breathing dragon. He sniggered at the image.

He felt Mark looking at him and he snuck a look at him, then his eyes were held arrested by Mark's.

He couldn't help but feast his eyes on Mark's face, and he couldn't help but notice Mark doing the same to his. It was like Mark couldn't get enough of his face and vice versa. It actually made Jaebeom feel pretty good about himself. It made him feel like Mark hadn't changed his mind about him while he'd been out in his coma - thank god. And the look that Mark was giving him and his body right now - he recognised the hungry look. He smirked. That man had it bad for him. Yep, Jaebeom felt pretty good right now.

He, in return, looked at the man he'd dreamt of while in his coma. This blond who was perusing all of him like he hadn't had food in a year - this was the man he'd asked for when he'd awoken; this was the one he wanted and this was the one that made Jaebeom think damn he was thirsty. He wanted his fill of Mark.

He glanced briefly at his various casts and one part of his mind idly wondered if he could get some good loving in with the casts on. He couldn't see why not. The other part of his mind sounded suspiciously like his Eomma, chastising him for even having thoughts down that path. He took a deep breath and tried to get his mind off Mark's naked body riding him.

He shifted in the bed uncomfortably. _Well, that didn't work._

Jaebeom looked over the blond hungrily. He felt so starved of Mark. God only knew what the past two weeks had felt like to the older man though. His heart went out to the older man. He hadn't had to sit there and wait for him to come out of a coma - Jaebeom had only had to wait a few days to see his man. His man had had to wait all that time for him. He smiled ruefully - apologising silently in his head for causing the man worry. His fingers gripped the man's hand tighter, letting his eyes rove over the older man as much as possible. He noted the thinness, the slight gauntness around the cheeks, the slimness of his neck and how the clothes hung a little baggier than normal. He frowned a little. Was the older man okay?

"Mark…?" Jaebeom asked, eyes flicking over the much slimmer man than he remembered. "Are you okay? Were you hurt at all?" Jaebeom eyed him critically, "You look like you lost weight?"

The older man shook his head, those blonde locks falling over his forehead. Jaebeom itched to push them back.

"Yes. No," the man said. "I'm fine. I'm fine. Don't fuss." He shrugged. "I didn't get hit at all. You made sure of that." He gave a small smile. "Tha… thank you, Jaebeom. You pushed me out of the way and save me from injury and possibly saved my life…" The man's voice choked a bit at the end. "And I just haven't been eating well. I'll be fine now you're awake. It's okay."

The wheels were churning uncomfortably in Jaebeom's head. Was Mark only here because of the accident? Did the older man think he owed the younger something in exchange of his life? Jaebeom sincerely hoped that this was not the case. He'd hate to think that Mark was only here because of that. He took a deep breath. He didn't want any misunderstandings. Jaebeom looked him in the eye. "Mark, you have nothing to thank me for. Don't think that you are staying around because you owe me something for saving your life."

Mark looked back at him with wide eyes. Then he cocked his head to the side, face scowling a little. "Don't even think that I would that, Jaebeom-ah. I'm not sticking about because I feel I owe you something." He lifted Jaebeom's hand and held it tightly before bringing it to his lips and pressing them on the back of his hand. "That's not why I came rushing back from Japan to find you." Mark stared at him before raising a brow. "Dickhead. You're a dickhead. How could you even think that? Did the coma do something to that brain of yours?"

Relief flooded through Jaebeom. "Okay - well, that was clearing the air." He watched Mark laugh with him. The air was back to easy camaraderie and not fraught with tension like moments before. He teased the older man, "Now what was this about loving me?"

Mark smiled back at him, amused, before claiming. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"But you said…!"

"Did I?"

"You did! I heard you!"

"You were sleeping - it must have been part of your dream."

Jaebeom's jaw dropped at the blatant lie. He knew Mark was teasing but still...

Mark shook his head as if in pity. "Aiii… the accident must have addled your brain. You must have been mishearing things."

"I did not! I heard you!"

Mark tsked. "Only morons hear voices. Maybe we should get a different type of doctor to assess you…"

Jaebeom threw his hands up, pouting. "Aish! I'm an invalid! I'm broken. I just woke up from a coma. And I thought I had an angel by my bed, declaring his undying love for me and in reality, I have a devil who is out to just abuse me. Where in the world does it say that's fair?"

He heard Mark laugh and his heart filled with love at the sound. That was what he needed - what they both needed.

"Fine. I said I love you."

It was the perfect moment. Without skipping a beat, Jaebeom said, "... I love you too... dumbass." He held his breath, waiting for Mark's reaction.

Mark's laughter stopped and his eyes grew wide. Jaebeom gave him another crooked grin, his heart beating wildly.

 

* * * * *

 

 _Was that a declaration of …_ Mark looked at Jaebeom, his eyes wide. His heart was pounding in his chest, his blood rushing through his ears, and all he could see was that face… That face that he had only seen in repose, in sleep for the past two weeks and now he was wide awake and confessing his love to him.

Abruptly he stood up, his body automatically moving to Jaebeom's side and Mark's hands found the nape of _that_ neck and he lifted _that_ face up to meet his and pressed his lip to _those_ lips…

It was _heaven_.

The feel of those lips - those oh-so-familiar lips - soft and plump; awake, alive and meeting his; matching kiss for kiss. He felt his stomach flipping wildly as they kissed - hard and bruising at first before heading into a softness and a gentleness that spoke of their longing for one another, their relief at being together and finally, a greeting softly exchanged with one another. Then it was a soft sigh that escaped his lips that seemed to signal something to Jaebeom and Mark felt the tentative touch of the younger man's warm tongue teasing his own lips open and he let it slide in, greeting it with his own. He tasted the familiar taste of Jaebeom on his tongue, the smell of Jaebeom's skin against his nose, and that oh so familiar sweep as the younger man teased his tongue with his own. Mark felt the familiar bubble of butterflies in his stomach, that tickling feeling that often accompanied anything associated with Jaebeom's body, and his hands clenched softly in the brunet's hair. With a reluctance, he pulled back, resting his forehead against the younger man, listening to the sound of their heavy breathing, feeling their breath mingling, and he sat there, holding their heads together, eyes closed, savouring in the taste, the feel, the scent of his One.  

"Did you…" he asked, almost disbelieving to believe that Jaebeom had just confessed back

"Yes…" he felt the younger man grinning under his palm cupping that face.

Mark breathed, deep, before expelling it in a long breath."You're awake."

He felt Jaebeom's hand on his wrist. "You're here…"

He leaned forward slightly and pecked those lips. "I missed you…"

He closed his eyes tightly when the younger said, "I dreamed about you…"

He felt Jaebeom lean toward him and leaned forward to meet his lips too, this time a gentle press of lips against one another. The fear of loss was gently dissuaded by the reassurance of the other's presence. Mark moved his lips over those warm, soft lips, feeling so much emotion swelling and growing and threatening to overwhelm him. Jaebeom was awake, _alive_ , here, present, with him. He sucked on that lower lip. _Jaebeom_. He slid his tongue into that welcoming mouth. _Jaebeom_. He teased and parried lazily with that tongue. And Jaebeom _loved_ him. He broke off their kiss to stare at him, to reassure himself that it was true and his man was right there. He was. He cupped that face. He searched that face just as those eyes searched his own. "Jaebeommie…" he breathed.

The brunet's hand moved from holding Mark's wrist to caress Mark's cheek; the soft fingers brushing with a light but familiar touch making Mark weak at the knees. Shivers were sent coursing through his body at the familiar stroke of the man's thumb. A shot of pure intense feeling through the older man's body at the warmth of his boy's palm cupping his cheek.

The heat radiating from Jaebeom's skin warmed his and Mark closed his eyes at the feel. _He had missed this._ He leaned in to touch foreheads with Jaebeom. It was still Jaebeom - bruises, casts, and all. His, " _Jaebeommie_. I have missed you, baby boy," he whispered softly. He felt the slight pull away as the other man got embarrassed at the use of the pet name but he chuckled lightly, dragging the man back to him. He felt no tug of resistance though as the man melted willingly into his hands. His fingers brushed against younger man's neck, feeling the shivers as he did so, biting his lip at Jaebeom's reactions to his own touch. He couldn't help but say, "Oh baby, you are okay. I'm so glad you are okay. Thank god, you are okay." He had hoped and prayed for Jaebeom to be okay, but to have it here, in front of him, Mark was so thankful to any and all deities.

" _Mark_. Baby, I'm okay. I'm so much more than okay. You're here. I didn't dream you. You're really here." He almost missed the, "I've missed you, Markie. I have missed you," it was said so quietly.

His eyes misted over at the soft admission. Jaebeom wasn't one to over-emote. He'd learnt that through his own interactions and from what he'd been told by Brain and Jin. His Jaebeommie was so _cute_ when it came to emotions… Then Mark remembered where they were and why. Mark pulled back more and hit the other man lightly. "Yah. You're an idiot. Don't you ever scare me like that again. _Pabo_ ."  The younger man shook his head and softly grinned at Mark. Leaning in, the blond kissed the younger man softly, the warm feelings surging through him stirring the already swirling desire; holding onto that strong neck with both hands, nudging at those pink lips until they willingly parted, bading him entrance. Then Mark's mind was blown away at the gentle touch of tongues, the warmth of Jaebeom's mouth so inviting; a small taste, a tease of what it would be like to be inside this man again, and Mark was all heady sensations and want. He wanted _him_. "Jaebeommie," he breathed, voice low and heavy with desire.

He felt the answering pull from his man as both of the younger man's arms wrapped around him, one of them clasping his own nape, the other wrapping around the small of his back and pulling him forward… then he was in the heady maelstrom of brunet, cast and bandages with more than a touch of tongue and pull of lips and he too pulled the younger brunet further into the close of his arms, reveling in the feeling of holding his Jaebeommie once again. The insistent grip of the back of his neck, the growing clash of tongues and the battle for dominance, the arch of the younger's chest into his, the heady sound of "Fuck… _Mark…_ " the gasping breaths of his boy spurred Mark into taking it all even further.

"Ma...ark… " Jaebeom's voice groaned into his mouth and he swallowed the sound of the younger's breathless moans as he deepened the kiss more, devouring all that Jaebeom was offering, feeling heady while desire pooled in his balls, making them ache in that familiar way and his cock rising and getting harder. He sucked hard on that full lower lip, running his hands lower…

"Oh my god!" Mark and Jaebeom jumped apart, faces blazing hotly with colour as they turned to the shocked nurse, standing at the door. Her face too was blushing and she bowed, "I'm sorry! So sorry! Oh my god, I'm sorry."

Behind her, also shocked, was Jaebeom's mother. Her eyes were wide and she was staring rapidly between Jaebeom and Mark. Jaebeom's father was behind her, looking away. Mark's face flamed and he quickly released Jaebeom. "Oh my gosh!" Mark straightened quickly before bowing abruptly. His heart was beating so fast. "My apologies," he said, still bowing low.

How could he have forgotten Jaebeom's parents? _Shit._ They were here for their visit. How did it look almost molesting their son in front of them? He cringed internally. _Oh god._ He looked at the floor with shame.

His thoughts rushed through his head. _Oh my god, what must they think of him? Oh god, what must they think of Jaebeom right now?_ His face flushed and he could feel his ears burning red.

He straightened up finally, knowing his face was as bright as a tomato. "I'm sorry. So sorry. Hello, Mrs Im, Mr Im. I am M-Mark. Mark Tuan." He took a deep but shaky breaky, letting it out slowly as he tried to calm his beating heart. "I-I-I'm a friend...Jaebeommie… Aish… I mean..."

"Thank you. You may leave. We'll call you in a moment." As expected Jinyoung was there. Swiftly, he moved everyone into the room, pushed the embarrassed nurse out, and closed the door to the hall. It was he who threw the room into chaos. "Eomeonim, Abeonim, this is Mark. He is... " Jinyoung stood there with his head bowed, before expelling a deep breath and saying, "... Jaebeom's boyfriend."

Mark stood up ramrod straight. _What?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Jinyoung - you are full of surprises. What do you think he's doing? Are y'all still yelling at me? And how was that reunion with Mark and Jaebeom. My heart is still full of uwu... come, yell at me in the comments below. Or DM me or tweet at me in Twitter.


	30. Buses and Trains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung dropped the bombshell of who Mark is in relation to Jaebeom - will Jaebeom's parents accept it? Mark, SeokJin and Yoo Youngjae find out something about Jinyoung and the reason behind him leaving. And what will the parents talk privately with Jaebeom about? Will it change Jaebeom's mind about Mark?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments! I love hearing about what you all think - even if it is throwing hate at Jinyoung (poor man - I apologise to all Jinyoung stans for making you hate him in this story). I loved how some of you waited until Markbum reunited before you yelled at me, either here or via DM on Twitter.

* * *

For the first time in the time he'd known Jaebeom, Mark was completely and utterly floored by the events happening around him. Correction - the second time. The first time had been floored when he'd realised he'd fallen in love with this man, but this time was … well, all the things right now were making everything confusing and maybe a little chaotic for Mark's liking. Silently, he blamed Jinyoung.

"Jaebeom's _boyfriend_?"

Their voices were shrill - surprise evident in their faces and the body language as their response rang throughout the room. Mark slid his gaze to them, wincing a little in anticipation of their reaction as he did so. The parents of Im Jaebeom were understandably shocked, standing stock still, mouths agape. After all, they'd been blindsided by one smarmy little git, who was going to get his face smashed in very shortly Mark swore. Mark wasn't sure what Jinyoung was playing at but he sure as shit wasn't prepared for this let alone the parents of his Im Jaebeom. His heart was hammering ten times to the dozen in both nervousness and adrenaline. He turned his gaze, his brows coming together in a heavy frown, glaring hard at Jinyoung. Mark was ready to jump across the bed that held his injured boyfriend and smash the self-righteous little prick to the floor when said prick bowed, winked at Mark, and excused himself out the door - all in one go.

_What the fuck?_

There was a brief scramble as Mark cursed and crossed to Jaebeom's opposite side of the bed. If he had thought his heart was beating fast before, it was nothing to now. He pressed a hand to his chest. _What the hell, Jinyoung?_ Mark's eyes fastened on the closed door. He shook his head in angry confusion. _Did… did Jinyoung just drop and run? Again?_ He swore once more, feeling angry at the seeming duplicitous nature of the younger man.

Having quickly anticipated a mother's wrath, Mark had angled himself between Jaebeom and his parents bodily  - ready to protect the younger man if it was needed. _Shit shit shit_.  He breathed heavily in nervous anticipation, his fingers winding and unwinding around each other. He sincerely hoped he didn't need to protect Jaebeom, since he wasn't sure how much of a defence he really was if the parents Im should decide to get to the younger man, but Mark thought he would put up a good fight.

He turned his head and snuck another look at the still shocked parents, standing there rooted to the spot. They looked still looked stunned, Mr and Mrs Im exchanging glances with one another, and Mark bowed his head, shuffling his feet, angry at Jinyoung revealing their relationship like that and shocking the parents. This wasn't what he'd wanted to to do nor how he'd wanted to reveal his relationship with Jaebeom to Jaebeom's family.  His blood was boiling; anger making his heart race, his blood pulse and his head was full of the thrum of blood rushing through.

Dimly, he felt Jaebeom reach out and pull him in. The arms of his boyfriend tugged and pulled until they were able to wrap themselves around Mark's waist. Mark in reflex wrapped an arm around Jaebeom's shoulder, pulling the younger man toward him in the semblance of comfort. But it was he who found comfort in the hold, tingles floating up his spine, and he felt the anger ebbing away. As he felt Jaebeom's warmth seeping through his clothes, the familiar scent of his baby boy, all warm and musky, filling his nostrils and hitting his brain and calming him like nothing else in this world, Mark was able to see, and hear again, and he took a deep breath. "You okay?" Jaebeom asked him quietly. Mark nodded, his hand coming up to run a hand through the brunet's hair. "I'm okay," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the young man's forehead. "I'm okay."

"Jinyoungie always runs away when he realises that he fucked something up and doesn't have a back up plan," came a low voice from the other side of the room.

"Language, Appa," Jaebeom scolded his father in a light tone, resting his head on Mark's shoulder, his arms wrapped around Mark's waist - possibly the only thing stopping Mark from running after Jinyoung. The blond turned slightly and held on tighter his boy while grumping silently to himself about Jinyoung getting away and bit his lip in consternation.

Jaebeom's father tsked from across the room at Jaebeom's light reprimand. "You've used worse," the older man pointed out. "And you've heard worse."

"I have," Jaebeom conceded, preening in Mark's hand carding through his hair. "I learned from you after all."

His hand still moving absently through the brunet's hair, Mark just listened to Jaebeom and his father interact. He was confused. Jaebeom and his father seemed very relaxed for what Mark had thought would be a very awkward, downright fraught with tension moment. He looked sideways at the gently smiling man who held him tightly around the waist.

"What is going on?" Mark hissed in Jaebeom's ear. "Shouldn't you be mad or something?" He couldn't quite avoid looking at the parents, but his boy's relaxed body language told Mark that something wasn't quite right with the picture Mark was seeing… _surely they should be mad with Jinyoung?_ _Shouldn't they? Shouldn't they be asking questions about who he was? And why?_ Jaebeom was reaching up to draw Mark's face down to his and pecking him on the lips. Mark allowed himself to be distracted and sought the safety of his man.

"Shhh… let's hold hands and skip around the mushrooms." Jaebeom gave him a beatific smile.

"Wha-a-at? Why?"

"Because it would be fun." Jaebeom pulled him down to kiss him full on the lips once more.

Mark drew back and raised his brows at Jaebeom. "What the hell are you on?" he asked bluntly. "Are the meds making you weird? Are you okay? Do I need to call a nurse? Are you high?"

"I'm high on you…" Jaebeom sing-songed and Mark drew back, weirded out, giving Jaebeom a look of uncertainty.

"Ahem, Jaebeom?"

The sound of the woman's voice brought Mark's attention back ... _oh, right - Jaebeom's parents. Awkward, much?_ He grimaced inwardly, while outwardly maintaining a modicum of decorum towards his boyfriend's parents. He snuck a glance at them as he waved to them, ill-at-ease and gawky. His gaze was held there by the soft, appraising look from the Im parents. He winced and shrank back against Jaebeom as he anticipated an explosion of wrath from them.

"Relax, Mark. They are only my parents. Don't stare at them like they are secretly ninjas about to attack you with shurikens."

"Although that would be cool if we did," remarked Jaebeom's father.

Jaebeom guffawed into Mark's chest at his dad's comment, "It would be cool on one level, but you would be hurting my love so there's that downside. But you need that big leather Samuel L Jackson level of cool coat that you flap behind you when you turn? Flap then walk away… "

 _Huh?_ He didn't understand. It was obviously some kind of inside joke. It surprised him slightly. They were close, that much was obvious. It made the questions fly through his head that much more quicker. _The Ims were a close family unit? Were they going to be unhappy with their son's choice of mate? Did they prefer their son's choice prior?_ They were smiling now and Mark tugged his lower lip into his mouth, feeling bashful and blushing in embarrassment at their knowing looks. Mark shook his head - he really hated being blindsided by constantly changing turn of events.

It was Jaebeom's mother who took the first step to easing the leftover confusion in the room.

"Aiii… both of you stop it. You'll confuse poor Mark here."

Jaebeom's mother walked over to the other side of Jaebeom, pulling him off Mark and hugged her son, leaving one hand in her son's palm as she combed back his hair with the other. Mark instantly felt bereft of the warmth and security of the brunet male. He ran a hand through his own hair nervously, unsure of what to do with his arms that had been holding onto Jaebeom. He settled for crossing them across his body for now, until he could get Jaebeom back.

"Hello, my darling," she cooed in a soft voice at her son. "Have you had a good day so far? I'd say you were having a good afternoon from what I could see… As I have often told you, it's important to have a good man who is good with his..."

Mark accidentally interrupted, coughing and spluttering in embarrassment and surprise at her words while Jaebeom laughed freely at his mother's words and teasing tone. The brunet admitted cheekily, "It would have been better had it not been interrupted; it was just getting good!"

 _Jaebeom - no!_ The younger man had a slight flush to his cheeks but nothing like what Mark had. His own face was heated and he knew his ears burned hotly. Mark objected, wanting the floor to open up and swallow him alive, "Aish, Jaebeommie, that's just…" he stopped, not knowing what to say nor how to say it. Instead, he settled for a strangled scream against his boyfriend's shoulder. His boyfriend wrapped an arm around his waist once more and another held his embarrassed face against him.

"It's okay, Mark," he heard Jaebeom soft voice laughingly say. He snuck a peek out and met Mrs Im's gentle eyes. He pulled back, face still blushing. His eyes met Jaebeom's in a comforting look.

Mrs Im chuckled, but her cheeks too were pink, "Lucky for us, _it_ hadn't gone any further… It might have been embarrassing."

The arm that had wrapped around Mark's waist squeezed tighter as Jaebeom laughed softly, teasing the older man with his eyes as well as his words. "For whom? _I_ was fine. Mark taught me about exhibitionism…"

Mark's eyes went wide. "Yah!" He hit Jaebeom with a light slap.

"Really…?" asked his mother with a colour-me-intrigued note in her voice.

Jaebeom 'hmmed.' He also asked, "And does it count as the mile high club if you are in a gondola?"

Mark wanted to sink through the floor. " _Pabo_! Stop it!"

"That's not what you normally say..."

Mark stood there with his mouth agape. _What the hell?_ He closed his mouth, then opened it again, then closed it finally, shook his head. Eyes flicking wildly side to side, Mark didn't know where to look. Finally, he looked down at the bed cover, fastening his eyes firmly there. He muttered, "I think I am going to trade you in for a new boyfriend, idiot. I don't know an Im Jaebeom anymore." His ears almost burst with the sound of Jaebeom roaring with laughter. The final snicker followed by his boyfriend's squeeze of his hand as he teased the older blond man. _God, he really did love this man._ He eased back in Jaebeom's hold, sitting in the space the boy had shuffled over for him, and accepted the gentle nudge on his shoulder. He cast a glance at his beautiful brunet boy, and wished to god that he didn't melt all the damn time at that beautiful smile. _Stupid idiot._ Mark wasn't entirely sure if he meant Jaebeom or himself. He could feel a silly in-love smile on his own face. _Aish_.

Thankfully, Jaebeom changed the focus back to his mother. A smile lifted the corner of the younger man's lips. There was an answer in the similar impish smile that graced his mother's face. For a brief moment, Mark thought it made them look so very alike.

"How long were you standing there anyway?" the broad shouldered man asked Mrs Im in a casual tone, his body having relaxed and was now at ease.

Her voice teased, "Long enough to see enough. The silly girl came and interrupted," she joked, referring to the nurse. Mark saw Mrs Im glance at Mr Im with a mischievous smile on her face. "Probably a good thing or your father would have had conniptions had it gone further."

"Good Lord, yes," his father said vehemently. "There are things in life that a father does not need to know about his son."

The younger man smiled, his eyes loving and warm, eyes crinkling to little crescent moons on his face. "See, you don't need to protect me, Mark. I'll be okay. It's only my parents." Mark harrumphed at that and Jaebeom squeezed his arm, before taking his hand. The younger took a deep breath, his hand still in Mark's, and sat up a little more in his bed before turning to his parents. "Eomma, Appa, let me introduce you you properly. Yes, this is _my_ Mark. Mark Tuan. My boyfriend." Jaebeom happily said, his eyes disappearing into little crescents once more as he turned back to again smile broadly at Mark.

Mark stood and bowed in greeting, fulfilling the formality of the introduction before he turned back to Jaebeom and sat down.

Mrs Im laughed at her son's impertinence. She reached across and tapped Jaebeom on the head. "Hey, ' _Pabo'_ ," she gibed, indicating that she was talking to Jaebeom and not Mark, using the same jibe that Mark had used on Jaebeom earlier, "we figured that much," Mark felt the 'eye-roll much' intimation in her tone. She cocked her head to one side, her eyes studying her son and him. Mrs Im gave a small snigger as she stared at them, "... unless you allow strange men to kiss you so intimately when they visit you?"

 _Oh fuck_ . Mark flushed even more. He felt the inclination to climb over Jaebeom and go out the door and hide in his embarrassment, but he hid it outwardly. He'd stay where he was - _for Jaebeom._ And also because Mark didn't feel he could move right now. His feet were rooted to the spot from embarrassment. He lifted his chin bravely against playful perusal of both Im parents. It didn't stop him almost crushing Jaebeom's fingers within his. Silently he swore to never get caught kissing every again.

He tried to turn it on Jaebeom. Despite the high cuteness factor of his smile and the presence of the the parents Im, Mark shot Jaebeom a wide eyed, disgruntled look. "Really? _Your_ Mark? What if it's you who is mine? _My_ Jaebeom? Huh? 'My Mark'? Since when have you been possessive?"

"Since you." His boy looked at him while gripping his hand tightly.

 _Awww…_ Mark's brain short circuited.

Mrs Im giggled and continued to look them over, her curiosity-filled eyes coming to rest on him. "Interesting how we aren't the only ones to think you're an idiot when it comes to important things though. 'Pabo' - I like how he uses that like a pet name for you. Appropriate." Her hands got busy pulling the sheets straight on her son's bed and he started to object with a pout and a scowl on his face. Mark hid a smile while clasping Jaebeom's hand. It was like his boy was five years old all over again. There were muttered grumblings from the dark haired man slowly being trapped in his bed by his mother and his sheets and she was shushing him at every opportunity.

As she trapped Jaebeom into the bed via the tucked in sheets, she kept glancing up at her son. After a short while she blurted out, "When were you going to tell us about Jinyoung, Jae-ah? Before or after Japan?"

 _They knew about Japan? How did they know about Japan? WHAT did they know about Japan? Holy shit - Japan._ Mark was divided between wondering how she knew and what she knew and also thinking about his own memories of Japan. 'Not now,' he silently whispered to his twitching dick.

Jaebeom's mother drew Mark's attention when she asked her son about, well, Mark. "And Mark? What about him? When were you going to tell us about him?"

The slim man tried to choke quietly. She shot him a quelling glance before looking at Jaebeom as she probed further, while tugging at the sheet. Mark tried to die quietly as Mrs Im seemed on a roll now.

"Were you going to tell us after Seokjin and Youngjae told us? Or perhaps you were going to do it way back when Jinyoung left?" She sighed, giving the sheet a final pat after the last tuck. "I would have expected at least one drunken phone call, Jae-ah, from you. If not from Tokyo, then at least when in Seoul. I'm so disappointed. Did you not drink much?"

Mrs Im finally stopped fussing, sat on the edge of the bed, and held Jaebeom's hand in both of hers.

"You didn't even tell us that you were alone and that Jinyoungie had left you. When were you going to stop hiding the fact that you had a new boyfriend, Im Jaebeom? Were you going to hide him in your wardrobe everytime we came to visit?" She looked over at Mark and addressed him directly. "It wouldn't have been comfortable. His closet is very small."

Mark couldn't help but laugh at the unexpected and outspoken remark. She smiled back and looked at him warmly. "It is nice to meet you, Mark Tuan. I heard a lot about a trip to Japan that involved you, a cord, and a harness." _Oh, Mrs Im was a tease._ Mark liked her more and more - when he wasn't her target for her wit. Her voice took on a different tone as she continued a little more solemnly, "It would have been nice to have spoken with you these past few weeks instead of being under a different impression, hey, Jinyoungie." She said this without turning around.

Mark's eyes widened as he hadn't noticed Jinyoung back in the room. He hadn't heard him come back in. But Mark did notice how Jinyoung paled, his eyes widened, and how a disconcerted look had crossed his face.

"I'm sorry, Eomeonim." Jinyoung's voice was strained. He snuck a look at Jinyoung's face and saw the consternation on the younger man's face. Mark couldn't help the tiny little self-satisfied little devil that said he totally deserved whatever he thought he was going to get. He slid his eyes back and caught Mrs Im's gaze. Whoops.

Mrs Im nodded, acknowledging Jinyoung's response, her eyes still firmly fixed on Mark's face. Mark squirmed a little under her knowing gaze. She couldn't read his thoughts - well, he was almost positive that she couldn't. He slid his gaze away, looking anywhere but at her. There was a tingle as warm fingers brushed the back of his hand and he looked at Jaebeom and then their hands, watching with fascination as the man twined and untwined their fingers, brushing his fingers with his own. He felt the soft pads of the younger man trailing over the back of his lazily before sliding around to meet him palm-to-palm.

She tossed back over her shoulder at Jinyoung, "We'll discuss it all soon enough. Prepare your pretty speech in your head, Jinyoungie, and leave the room while I talk to my Jae-ah about hiding his pretty boy from his parents. I will come out and talk to you shortly." Her tone was dismissive to Jinyoung and yet warm to both Mark and Jaebeom. He watched as Jinyoung nodded and left the room again but this time it was a more comfortable silence he left behind.

"So how long have you two been together?" She asked lightly, staring at their joined hands.

Mark's mind wandered. How does one count the time together? From the time they started to see one another in Tokyo and their trip together? The time in Hakone when he promised Jaebeom that he would give him everything in the few days they had together so it would be the time of his life? The time in Yokohama when he realised he had fallen for the younger man? The time he came to Seoul to claim Jaebeom? Everyday since the accident when he had snuck in to see the injured man, swept back his brow and held his hand and spoke to him about life, love, and truths until it hurt because his man was lying injured and unable to respond to him?  Or now - the day he turned up to a hospital and claimed his man once again, Jinyoung be damned?

Mark squeezed Jaebeom's hand tight as he said, "If you count today? And the days he was asleep? Eighteen days."

Her eyes rounded, Mrs Im sucked in a shocked breath. "Really???"

Mark and Jaebeom looked at one another and nodded.

"Oh my god, but that's how long since the accident..."

"The accident happened the day we formally got together, Mrs Im…"

"But what about Japan? And after Japan?"

"We were not together yet…" Mark said.

She tsked before bluntly asking, "Did you kiss?" Mark shared a look with Jaebeom before he nodded. "Sleep in the same bed?" He nodded. "Have sex together?" Was he supposed to answer that? Mark squirmed a little at the forthright question. But Jaebeom started nodding for the both of them so Mark nodded his head along too. _Can't say something different now, can he?_

At both their nods, she said firmly, "Then you were together."

"Errr…" Mark hedged. Not that he disagreed with this thought… _But_ they were not technically together- _together_ . At least not then. It was, after all, only supposed to be a holiday fling, a temporary romance, god how was _that_ supposed to be explained away? Hey we were busy fucking that we didn't give a title to what we were? His mind started to wander away and Mark had to firmly steer it clear of images of naked Jaebeom. _Not in front of the parents._ Mark still gulped at the thought of Mama Im talking to them _about_ them, let alone springing a boner in the middle of the conversation. He felt Jaebeom squeeze his hand. He squeezed the younger boy's hand back. It didn't make things better. Mark was still nervous.

"But Mrs Im…"

"Call me Mama…"

"Mama… " Mark choked on the word. It had been a long since he had called anyone Mum, Mother, or Mama. And no, that didn't make it any easier. He gripped Jaebeom's hand tighter, making the younger man wince.

"Isn't it a bit soon to get him to call you mama, Eomma? It might make him uncomfortable..."

"Yah, who are you to tell me when I can tell people when they can call me a certain name or title?"

Jaebeom squirmed and apologised. Mrs Im leaned over and patted their joined hands. "Your hearts were together, sweethearts. Therefore you were together. You would not have come looking for him had your heart not been with him already, Mark."

He paused for a moment, staring at the spot where she had patted their clasped hands. She was right - he wouldn't have chased after Jaebeom if his heart hadn't already gone with him. _Well fancy that._ It had never really been a doubt in Mark's mind that Jaebeom had captured his heart from the start. Fate threw them together time and again to a point that Mark had started wondering if the Universe thought he was really clueless, but then realised it was maybe Jaebeom who had been clueless. Mark just went along for the rest of the rides until Jaebeom became aware of what the world had in store for him - him. Mark still half wondered if Jaebeom had worked out that the Universe had conspired to bring them together.

Jaebeom mused, "So by your reasoning, Eomma, that would make it five to six weeks then…if I count from when we met..."

"Then it's a perfectly reasonable length of time to have been dating before introducing him to your parents," she said, satisfaction in her voice.

Mark supposed that she was right then. He raised his eyes to meet hers. She gave him a smug, satisfied look. It reminded him of the look Taecyeon's mum had given him when they had revealed their relationship to his mother. The reminder of Taecyeon made a thought occur to him.

"M-M-Mama?" It felt a bit stiff on his tongue and it still caused a pang in his heart.

"Yes, Mark-ah?"

He wasn't sure how to phrase it. It wasn't his place to ask, but he felt it needed to be asked. "What happens now? Will Jinyoung and his parents be a problem for Jaebeom?"

She cocked her head, "What do you mean?"

He frowned in thought, "Well, _you_ know about us now. Jinyoung knows that _you_ know about us." He paused for a moment as he gathered his thoughts together. He looked at Jaebeom and then his parents. He frowned even more. He thought back to him and Taecyeon. He'd left Taec the apartment they'd had in Megaro Neguro, but he'd asked for things to be sent over. They'd not had a joint bank account, but Taecyeon had been putting money into his account for his share of the mortgage. Was it the same for Jaebeom and Jinyoung?

He tried to say what he was thinking. "This does mean the Park family will also know now. Will they... I mean… How does this affect everyone involved? Will there be a splitting of ways? Of families? Of assets? I mean… well, they never did that after they broke up. In fact," he looked at Jaebeom again, "Jaebeom said Jinyoung walked out with all of his stuff, but never indicated one way or the other what would happen with the apartment. What will this mean for Jaebeom if Jinyoung wants to sell his part in his home?"

He had her full attention. She was quiet. Mark and Jaebeom exchanged a glance at the concerned look her and her husband exchanged.

Mrs Im turned to Mark. "I think that perhaps you should go out and let us discuss this. I know you want to be by his side. But this is all about ending things with Jinyoung and his family and I think it would be best if you went out while we discussed how we navigate the ties that bond our two families. Out of respect for the Park family, we should perhaps not discuss their family dealings without their knowledge."

Mark bowed his head. He understood this clearly. He had cuts ties with Taecyeon, but it had been hard cutting ties between his family and the Oks. He nodded to them both and kissed Jaebeom's hand. "I will be outside when you need me," he said simply. Jaebeom smiled at him and Mark knew the younger was thankful for his understanding.

He quietly left the room. What he found outside of the room, however… made Mark stop in his tracks.

 

* * * * *

Jaebeom cast a final look at the door Mark just walked out of, mixed feelings flooding through him. He rubbed his upper arm above his cast. He was lucky to have Mark - really.

He let out a sigh before he turned back to rest his gaze on his mother. She abruptly dropped her nice facade the minute Mark left - her smile leaving her face. Her face looked solemn and serious. Jaebeom was concerned. "Eomma…"

Mr Im came over and stood beside his wife. His voice was calm and firm. "Jaebeom-ah, we need to talk seriously. This is all very serious now. The Parks didn't know about this either. So many things have to now be sorted through with the break up of you and Jinyoung. Mainly to do with financials and with of course, property. And we need to discuss a little more in-depth about you and Mark."

"What about me and Mark?" Jaebeom asked bluntly. He felt a little bit defensive - they had only just met him. He reasoned with himself that they had only just met Mark so therefore they might have reservations. But he sincerely hoped they didn't. They obviously weren't there for the time he fell for the blond man. But silently, he hoped that they truly liked him. After all, Jaebeom liked him - a lot. And if his dick had any say in it - 'a lot a lot' and then some more.

He plucked at the bedsheet with his casted arm. His mother smiled, her hand coming to rest on his. "He seems lovely. He cares for you a lot. I can tell that. He bravely stood in front of you to protect you from any…" she raised her hands and formed quotations marks in the air, "...'parental wrath' I am assuming. Even when he could have stayed standing on the other side of the bed. And even though he didn't even know what type of people your father and I are - he wanted to protect you. It was instinctive in him. It's rather lovely."

His father laughed his familiar laugh and jaebeom's heart warmed. "Yes, he does seem to be a commendable man. What does he do for a job?"

Jaebeom stopped, a slight grimace on his face as he anticipated the reaction he would get. "He's… sort of unemployed right now," he winced.

His parents shared a look that Jaebeom did not miss. "Jaebeom…"

Jaebeom shook his head at their reaction, laughing somewhat. "You guys are so funny. It's fine, Eomma, Appa. He had his own business in the IT industry. He sold his business and is currently doing consultation for the owner of the health club I go to. That is why he was in Japan. He was overseeing a new project. Don't worry, he has plenty of his own money and isn't looking for mine."

He noticed his mother looking appeased somewhat but she still that those frown lines in between her brows that indicated that she was still concerned about him.

"Eomma, relax, I'm fine. The fact that you know about both Jinyoung and I breaking and Mark and I being together now is a weight off my mind. I know you loved Jinyoungie, but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive him and me for breaking up."

She laughed and he still thought it was the best sound in the world. He really did love his mother. That impish smile that she got on her face when she was truly happy made his world feel just right. And there it was - so beautiful. She teased, "Jae-ah, I love you and I love him.” She smiled a little more sadly now. “Jinyoung is-was like a son to me. But _you_ are my son. I will take your side obviously.” Her smile cleared and her face was more serious again, looking concerned. “But  promise me - now that you have broken up, don't forget that you need to look at yourself and what happened. Be a little bit introspective. See what it was that broke down in your relationship - was it you? Was it him? Was it both of you? Did you have enough of the right type of communication? Did you speak each other's language? Was there enough sex..."

"Eomma, calm…" he gave a small laugh, a little embarrassed at the subject of sex with Mark being brought up. "I love you. You are my favourite mother." He chuckled as she blushed prettily and pushed at him and he grabbed those hands and held them firm.

He smiled at his mother. He still thought she was the beautiful woman in the world. God, he loved her - so much. "Eomma," he appeased in a gentle tone, "I spent a lot of time looking at what happened, questioning everything. At the end of the day, neither of us escaped without fault. We grew up and unfortunately we grew away from each other. There were too many variables as adults that we forgot to factor in our life plan. I have had time - plenty of time to look at it. And while I appreciate your advice, I also know this is a path I have to tread myself. It is still early and I know that I haven't had nearly enough time to myself to heal before meeting Mark." He leaned back, letting both their hands fall to the covers. "I worry that I will lose Mark because it was so soon after Jinyoungie and I separated."

His father nodded. “That is understandable. But sometimes you find the right person when you least expect it. You have to understand that the Universe will not give you anything that you cannot handle.”

"Have you guys dated?" his mother questioned. "Like dated-dated and not just… you know."

Jaebeom smiled shyly, ducking his head so as to not meet her knowing gaze head on. "Yes we dated." He could feel the blush rising on his cheeks. "Mark made sure of it. He didn't want it to be about… _sex_." He was so sure his ears were also burning bright red now. "He said that he wanted Japan to be a treasured memory, not one I shy away from because of just meaningless sex." He lifted his gaze to meet hers somewhat proudly. "Mark wanted it to be a trip of a lifetime, not running away from my disastrous relationship ending."

His mother was surprisingly quiet and he watched as her eyes misted over. He tilted his head and grinned, "Aw, Eomma, it's okay."

She blinked rapidly, looking away. "No, it's fine. I'm fine. I'm just… he treated you well then?"

"Yes," replied Jaebeom, his thumb rubbing small circles on the back of her hand. "Yes, he did. He treated me like I was something special." He bit his lip at the memories that came to his mind. "He did all the things that you would do on dates. But it was more than that - we went to dinner, we did sightseeing, but the whole time he held my hand as we walked, he would wrap me in his arms if it got cool or if we would stop to look at something special; he argued and talked and laughed and talked and argued some more… we would stop at food stalls and he would order for me… he treated me like I was special and… he treated me like I was... his."

There was silence in the room.

His mother had smiled as she listened. Softly, she asked, "What did you argue about?"

He choked, "About whether we should have sex there or in the room." He ducked his head in embarrassment. "Aish! I can't believe I'm telling you this! Um, I was for it… he was… against it… he wanted to wait. But he damn near killed me with the waiting. And the torturing… god, that man is just… mmm… " He went bright red as he remembered who he was saying this to, and tried to hide his face, covering his face with his arms but his cast hit him hard in the head. "Shit! Ow!"

"Jae-ah! Oh my god, are you ok?"

Ruefully, he rubbed his head with his good hand. "Yes, it's fine. Aish, I can't believe I just did that. Aiii…."

"So Mark is good to you then. That's good to know. And he wanted to wait. See, he is a good man…" teased his mother.

Jaebeom made a face as he recalled _all_ the 'blue balls' moment. "Sure, if that's what counts as a sign of a good man then he is…"

He and his parents sat there in comfortable silence. Jaebeom reflected that it was nice to just be - to not think about anything more than being with his family and being loved and being just… there.

 _I love you._ "Thank you, Eomma, Appa." he said breaking the silence. "Thank you for being here and for making sure I had the operation and for making sure I was taken care of - all of it."

Mama Im patted his hand before clasping if firmly in hers. "I love you, Im Jaebeom, but if you ever cause me another moment like that I will strangle you myself."

He laughed. "It definitely wasn't intentional so I will try to not do it again in the future."

"That would be most appreciated, son," remarked his father. "It was a hard journey getting here in time and I'd like my hand to remain intact and not squeezed to goddamn death. So no next time, got it?"

"Got it."

"So…"

"So…"

Jaebeom started, "What…" then changed his mind, "nevermind…"

"No, what?"

"What if…  he - Mark - decides that I'm too much … upkeep? Here I am fresh in a relationship and I am injured and he is obligated to stay and look after me. What if he thinks this is too much of a burden? What if at the end of the healing he decides to leave me?"

"Then we will cross that bridge when we get there. Has he indicated anything to make you think this?"

Jaebeom shook his head. "No not at all. It's just… it's my fears. "

"Do you want to talk about the break up? "

Jaebeom took a deep breath. He thought hard about it. Did he want to bring that up again? While several weeks had passed for them all for him it was still fairly recent and he hadn't had a moment since he woke up to think about how he was with Jinyoung. Now that Mark was here, he could focus on how he felt. He shook his head. "No I don't need to tell you. Suffice to say that Jinyoung ended our relationship. I did not fare well emotionally afterward and that is why I went on holiday - to clear my head. And where i found a new beginning… Mark. He is all I need to focus on now. Maybe I can be all I need to be for him."

"Okay, but know that we are here whenever you need us."

"Thank you."

Papa Im said, "Now… we need to discuss a number of things and a lot of that is to do with you and Mark and also with you and Jinyoung."

Mrs Im implored, "Listen first please, baby, before you say much. Okay? Jinyoungie has been a part of your life, in fact, our lives for a very long time. In many ways, this separation will be very difficult because there are many things that have been woven into both families over the years, but something you may not have registered is that you both own that apartment and you have investments in businesses - in fact, both of your businesses were started with both of you. There will need to be a discussion about what to do now that you are not together."

Jaebeom sighed. "Jinyoungie and I signed a legal document many years ago that should anything happen with us, we would divide the market cost of the apartment evenly dependant on our direct contributions to the mortgage and the house."

"Will there be any issues with it?" His father asked.

"I don't see why there would be. It just comes down to one of us wanting to live in it, and buying the other out, or we sell it and divide the money.”

“You probably want to get in touch with your lawyer." Mr Im mused aloud. "Not only that but you will need to find your own lawyer or perhaps Jinyoung needs to find his own. You can’t have the same one represent you during your separation. There are plenty more considerations since you have financial ties together.” His father queried, “What about your businesses? Did you not have investments? And you started your business with both your monies. What about furniture? Cars?”

“We kept all the receipts of the modifications we made, both within the home and with our various businesses and any investments we made. And the furniture is neither here nor there. At least not to me."

His parents nodded their understanding.

Jaebeom took a deep breath and looked at his parents. "I have found Mark. The universe threw him at me. I thought at first it was just coincidence, but then it threw him at me a second, then a third time, and before I knew it, he was Japan for me. Everything about Japan was and is Mark. When I was drowning in the grief that was the end of me and Jinyoung, Mark rescued me. He lifted me up and out of that misery. So no, if Jinyoung wants to try and prolong the rest of the end by financial means, then I will walk away. He can give me the money and I will walk away."

His parents nodded. "We understand son."

Mrs Im held his hand. "Shall I get him and get him to come in again?"

"Yes please… and Eomma?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. For loving me the way I am and for accepting him based on what I have just said."

His mother looked at him. "When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window. Jinyoung may have closed the door, but Mark made you fly."

 

* * * * *

Mark kissed Jaebeom's hand. "I will be outside when you need me," he said simply. Jaebeom smiled at him and Mark knew the younger was thankful for his understanding.

He quietly left the room. What he found outside of the room, however… _What the fuck?_ Mark didn't know where to look. What he had found outside Jaebeom's room was absolute chaos in the form of three people who really should never be in the same shared space together.

SeokJin and Yoo Youngjae had arrived and apparently that meant showdown time with Park Jinyoung. Yoo Youngjae stood on one side of the corridor and Park Jinyoung on the other, while Kim Seokjin stood in the middle trying to stop the two from directly confronting one another. "Why you… _imbeciles_!" Jinyoung was semi-shouting from his side of the corridor, being pushed back to his side by Seokjin's hand on his chest. "You were visiting him all this time? Why didn't you say so???"

_Yep, Mark was pretty sure he should stay out of this…_

"Because why the fuck would we tell you?" huffed Yoo Youngjae, his face arching toward Jinyoung from his side of the corridor, being physically barricaded from Jinyoung by Seokjin's much taller and bigger body. It didn't stop him from jeering, "You weren't talking to us since the fucking break up anyway!"

Jinyoung's jaw dropped. He stared at Yoo Youngjae in astonishment. "You _dickhead_." Jinyoung slapped his forehead. "Beommie's accident is bigger than some stupid argument between us!"

Yoo Youngjae had the grace to look uncomfortable at that before he retorted hotly, "Well, you're the petty spiteful one in the group!"

"Oh, there is still a group is there?" Sarcasm dripped from Jinyoung's mouth.

"Yes. It's a reunion - and you're Petty Spice!"

 _Oooh he definitely was staying out of this!_ Mark gaped at the petty insult, his jaw hanging. Quickly, Mark swung his head to look back at Jinyoung, his eyes wide. Jinyoung looked furious. Seokjin was having a hard time trying to stop a jumping Yoo Youngjae who was waving an irate finger at Jinyoung who in turn was trying to reach around the taller, older man to wrestle the other man. When he couldn't reach the younger - thanks to Seokjin's many talents - Jinyoung settled for glaring, trying to outstare Yoo Youngjae.

"Yeah? Yeah???" Jinyoung gritted his teeth, grimacing and pushing his chin out, very reminiscent of Jaebeom.

Mark wasn't sure whether to help or laugh at the situation. Mark was sure he wouldn't be helping if he stepped in so he stayed where he was and continued to watch the three stooges duke it out - Jinyoung's arms scrambled around, still trying to grab the other man, but Seokjin's arms were long enough to keep Jinyoung from reaching Yoo Youngjae, leaving Jinyoung flailing around with Seokjin's palm in his face.

Frustrated, Jinyoung backed off. He cricked his neck and growled at the other two, straightening his rumpled clothes, "Well… well...  you could have just tried to say you were visiting him. What - were you hiding from me? From all of us? I swear to god…" he jabbed his index finger aggressively at them, "... you two are like the worst friends ever. Who hides from someone because they don't want to announce their visits? God, no wonder I thought the two of you were terrible-as friends who had stopped seeing him because of the accident! Aish! So I was covering for the fact that you guys weren't here! Shitheads!" Jinyoung straightened and smoothed his clothes, looking both affronted and scowly.

The other two stopped in their tracks, both of them looking confused.

" _You_ were covering?" asked Yoo Youngjae slowly, incredulity in his tone, Seokjin's hands still resting on his shoulders from holding him back. He looked dazedly up at Seokjin.

"For us?" SeokJin asked doubt in his tone. Both SeokJin and Yoo Youngjae exchanged a look before looking at Jinyoung.

Jinyoung glowered. "Yes I was covering. It's not like I'm sitting here pining for Jaebeommie."

"Bullshit! You don't cover for anyone but your own ass. Like ever. In fact, you were keeping him from us!" Yoo Youngjae exclaimed.

Jinyoung crossed his arms, stepping back, and leaning back against the wall. "Why the hell would I do that, you dumbasses?"

Yoo Youngjae looked at him, derision in his stance. He counted off on his fingers, "Because you were jealous of him and Mark?" (duh) "Because you wanted him back? Hmm… oh and three, because you're a small, petty, competitive man and we know it!" His hands were clenched into tight fists when he'd finished as he confronted his ex-friend. Seokjin made him unclench his fists and step back until Yoo Youngjae was seething silently against the opposing wall.

Jinyoung snorted and gave a snotty, derisive look at everyone and folded his arms. "I'm almost certain that things haven't changed since we last went to the gym so I'm pretty sure my dick is still bigger than yours so who are you calling small, huh? And what was that? You think I want to look like I'm hanging off my ex-boyfriend, like a fuck toy who came crawling back?"

"Why not, you looked like a fuck toy when you were with him!" countered Yoo Youngjae sneering aggressively.

Jinyoung charged toward a glowering Yoo Youngjae, his fist pulled back and clenched. "Why you…"

SeokJin stood in front and stopped the younger, grabbing hold of him across the chest and shoulders and pulling him away. "Park Jinyoung, don't be an idiot." Jinyoung struggled against the older taller man. Surprisingly, the taller man had a lot of strength and held the younger man immobile. "Yah, stop it, Nyeongie," he said in his soft toned voice. "You aren't really angry with Brain, you are angry with yourself. Brain told you some home truths and you didn't like it."

"That's not true!" Jinyoung hissed as he struggled against the older Seokjin, arms still locked back by the older man.

"Nyeongie." admonished the taller man. "You left JB, and you did it in such a callous hard-hearted sort of way. You have to acknowledge that. What you've done for him for the past few weeks is atonement for that, but now you have to let it go. You fucked up badly in the breakup and now you have to let him go."

"Argh! I would have left him here! But I couldn't leave him before one of you turned up!!! None of you were here!" Jinyoung roared, feet stomping the ground, all pretence at being civilised gone. "Fuck you all! I look like a desperate pathetic ex-lover all because you all left him! You.All.Left.Him. I thought you guys would be here for him - even after we broke up! Screw you all!" Jinyoung's voice cracked at the last word.

Mark was somewhat astonished - he hadn't thought much about how Jinyoung may have felt leaving Jaebeom since arriving in Seoul. He delved in his mind the amount of times he'd thought about Jaebeom having been recently separated from someone. Even throughout their trip in japan, any remarks that slipped about his recent breakup, Mark had chosen to either ignore or let them slide. But he realised that Jinyoung cared about Jaebeom in a similar manner to how he himself had cared for and why he left Taecyeon. Mark had reassured himself that Taec was better off without him, only because he knew Taec had friends in Tokyo, Seoul, and Los Angeles who would watch out for him. Here he was now watching someone do the exact same thing to his boyfriend. His heart grew in understanding at the pain Jinyoung was going through.

"You left him!" Jinyoung sounded both angry and on the verge of tears and Mark could feel the pricking of tears in his eyes at the sound. That was the sound of a heart that felt betrayal and loss twofold and thrice. Jinyoung choked out, "I trusted you guys to be here and look after him even after I left him…" Jinyoung brought a hand up to his mouth as Seokjin slowly released him, a sob escaping the younger man. He half whispered, "Where the fuck were you? Where _were_ you guys?! Didn't you know he needed you?" He choked back another sob, and another… He looked at them both, "Don't you know how hard it's been..c-c-covering for f-f-friends that should have been there when you know… when you know you shouldn't be?" He burst into full tears, and sank to his knees, and would have dragged the older man with him, had Seokjin not let the younger man completely go. The younger man looked up at SeokJin and howled, "Do you think I want to be standing there in front of his parents and mine, knowing that _I_ broke his heart? Do you think I want to be in front of his parents knowing that I walked out weeks before and that I shouldn't even be there? That Jaebeom wouldn't even want me to be there?" He hung his head, arms hanging uselessly by his side, and cried… Tears that were falling in rivers down his cheeks, to join at his chin and dripped down to the ground were now torrents as he sobbed.

The tears fell and the man still cried… And Seokjin knelt down with him, grabbed the younger man by the shoulders, and pulled him into his chest and held him tight - his own face a stunned mix of confusion and sorrow and growing understanding. Jinyoung's voice was muffled but still discernible as he sobbed in Seokjin's chest.

"Do you know how hard it's been to be by his side knowing that he would probably hate me when he woke up?! And do you know how hard it was when he did wake up to be that old Jinyoung - the one who loved him so much to fucking leave him - to act like I didn't fucking care? Do you???" The younger hit Seokjin in the chest with a feeble hand as he sank deeper into the older man's warm embrace. He roared, anger and sorrow in his voice, "And all this time… Where the fuck were you? Where the fuck _were_ you???" The wail at the end broke Mark's heart.

Mark's heart twisted in empathy as the younger man cried. Something about this moment stabbed Mark in the chest. Jinyoung too went through heartbreak, the same as Jaebeom, and he had truly cared about Jaebeom, however, it was only now that the mutual friends realised the depth of it. Something about that made Mark's heart ache in sympathy for his boyfriend's ex.

SeokJin's eyes met Mark's. Mark stayed absolutely still. He didn't want to be in the middle of this, but it was like a train wreck - he couldn't look away. And he couldn't move away.

Minutes went by where the only sound was Jinyoung's cries.

Mark watched as the older man held his boyfriend's ex in his arms, comforting him as best as he could, SeokJin shaking his head as slowly understanding came to him. He soothed the younger man, "Shhh… Nyeongie, it's okay. We are here. We have been here. You didn't need to shoulder this on your own. Jinyoungie, we wouldn't leave him behind. Not ever."

This triggered the younger man to sob anew and weakly yell, "He doesn't like being alone!" The younger thumped his hand on Jin's chest even as he sobbed, "He hates it! It's why the cats are his - he needs them! And why you are his. You don't leave him! Ever!!!" He cried some more, shocking them all into silence. He sobbed for a while, the others just standing there. He softly asked through the tears, "Was he eating? H-h-he doesn't eat when he's s-s-stressed. I h-h-hope you remembered t-to f-feed him..."

"Shhh… I know…. Shhh… we know." Mark watched as SeokJin and Yoo Youngjae exchanged a look over Jinyoung's sobbing head.

More cries, louder now as Jinyoung caved into his emotions and let go of his tension over the past few weeks. They stood there, a little awkwardly but let the man cry until he seemed calmer and the sobs had somewhat subsided.

Seokjin rubbed the man's back. "Nyeongie, it's time you let go of Jaebeom. His parents know now and he wants Mark."

"I know," came the soft muffled response. "I know… He wanted Mark from the moment he woke up. It wasn't me he wanted. He wanted Mark. It hurt."

"I know. But he's not yours anymore. You gave him up."

"I know," came the muffled sound. "I know that. I-I just… I just didn't know that he would find someone else so soon. And so much better for him than me! That's what hurt. I loved him and I let him go. Someone found him and loved him and he loved them too. I can't help that it hurts."

SeokJin soothed the younger, rubbing small circles in his back. The younger sniffed after a while.

"I saw them you know," his voice small, like a child's. "I saw them. Just before the accident. I pulled out of my parking space and saw them at the crossing for the Twosome cafe. It made me stop, Seo-ah." He glanced up at the older before closing his eyes tight as if in pain. "I was so distracted I didn't even see the traffic around me. Just them. But I saw the accident.  And I saw what he did - I saw him throw Mark out of the way. He loves him. Beommie loves him. And then I saw… I saw… I saw him get hit." The younger started crying again, the tears flowing down his cheeks.

Mark and Yoo Youngjae were silent. Yoo Youngjae was scowling at the turn of events. Mark - Mark wasn't sure what to feel. He felt awkward, like he was intruding on something personal and intimate between friends, but he had no way of escaping without making his presence felt. _Silence it is then_.

"I am happy for him, but I am sad because I haven't got anyone. Not yet. But Beommie found someone and he wasn't even looking. Why is that, Jin? Why does he get to find someone and I don't?"

"Because he's not a bitch?" muttered Yoo Youngjae darkly. SeokJin shot him a look of 'shut up moron' and Yoo Youngjae mutinously pouted and glared.

But Jinyoung heard. "Is that why you're still single?" his tone slightly acidic but with very little bite.

"Actually I'm not," said Yoo Youngjae loftily. "I have a wonderful new boyfriend and he's everything possibly good in this world all in one not-so-little package. His name is Choi Youngjae."

Mark wrinkled his nose. He didn't need to know anything about Choi Youngjae's package thanks very much.

"Youngjae is dating a Youngjae???" Jinyoung lifted his head from Seokjin's chest. "Is this a joke?"

"No, it's real. And they are well suited to one another." Seokjin told him.

"How'd they meet then?" Jinyoung asked.

"Through Yugyeom and through the gym." Seokjin replied.

Jinyoung smiled, his eyes less watery,  his voice a little wistful. "Ah, Yugyeom - my dongsaeng - he never mentioned it, but then again, he never mentions anything to do with any of you anymore to me. And I miss that gym. The eye candy at this new one is not nearly as nice. There was a really good looking man at our gym. I miss watching him." He sighed. "Why? Why is Beommie happy and I'm not? I want to be happy, and I want him to be happy. I let him go so he could find happiness. He would never be complete with me. He wanted a family. I didn't. Too many fights we had was because of that, Seo-ah, did he tell you that? He wanted children so badly and I well, I hated them. I'm scared of them. I don't want little people who will be dependant on solely me. Can you see why I wouldn't be good for Jaebebeommie who wanted lots of children to be Appa to? He wants to be Appa so badly."

"You're an idiot, do you know that?" Yoo Youngjae was harsh, not mincing words. "You had the man that people would kill to have and give up their right arms or their fortunes to have what you had, but you wanted out. You didn't want a family? Bull fucking shit. You just didn't want a family with Jaebeom. He isn't what you pictured as head of the family. You still can't see it. That's why you left - because he wasn't enough to be head of _your_ family. I'm right."

"This is why we aren't friends, Youngjae-ah."

"Don't call me that. We aren't friends anymore and we have only been acquaintances because of Jaebeom. Consider us as never ever having been friends."  The younger spat. "Don't even think you can excuse your poor behaviour away because of some pretty words. You're a fuck. That's it. End of story. You knew he wanted a family. You just never thought he was father material for your kids. And that is so fucking wrong."

Jinyoung nodded in acknowledgement. "Sorry, Youngjae-ssi." He pulled away from Seokjin. "Thanks Seo-ah. For everything, but I-I think you guys should be with Jaebeom now."

"Jinyoung-ssi," Mark called out. The younger man turned toward him, surprise in his face. "Don't worry I haven't been here long. I just wanted to say a few things to you."

Mark looked at him in pity. Jinyoung was hurt. But it didn't excuse what he'd done to Jaebeom, but he had tried to do what he could.

"It was good what you did for Jaebeom. Don't belittle that you stepped up and looked after him even though you knew he might not want you here. But you need to step aside now. Leave him be. You left him. You tore him apart when you left. You didn't even give him a reason why. You broke that man and you were not around to pick up the pieces. He has held himself together because he fought to find himself. Not because of you but in spite of you. And you know what - I was here for that. And although you didn't see me - I was here for this too."

Mark took a deep breath before speaking his truth. "Of course, Jaebeom won't stop loving you. I know this. You know this. He isn't that type of man. You held him for ten years. Ten loving years. A fact that will never change." Mark smiled at the younger man. "You will always have that first kiss, that first, touch, that first everything."

He waited and watched the younger man, a wistful look cross on his younger face as Jinyoung recalled those individual moments. Mark felt for him, which was why he chose his next words carefully. "Those moments are precious in anyone's memories - this is why I will not take any of that away from him because those are part of what makes him who he is today. In fact, I will get him to keep loving the you of yesteryear." A tear ran down Jinyoung's cheek as Mark looked at him. "Those younger years are the ones that will be taken out and polished off in remembrance, treasured and loved. But Jinyoung-ssi…" Mark made a sad face, looking at Jinyoung with sorrow and pity. "I won't tell him why you left him - that's on you. Just understand this - Jaebeom loves me. We have something, a connection, and I am prepared to fight anyone for him, because he is worth fighting for. I love him. He loves me too. And he can move on from you because he found someone to love more than he loves you. And I will be his _last_ kiss, his _last_ touch, his last _everything_. Because he loves me. And I will treasure being last because to Jaebeom that's more precious than being first."

Jinyoung's eyes were unfathomable. "This is why he loves you, Mark, hyung. You are the one meant for him. I was just a placeholder."

"Don't say that. Your history with Jaebeom means a lot to him."

Jinyoung smiled - a sad, small smile. "But that's just it, Mark. It's history. We will never have a future again. I envy you."

The door to Jaebeom's slid open and Mrs Im came out. Mark and Jinyoung shared a look before they turned to Mrs Im.

She came up to them both. "He is asking to see you, Mark." Mark did not miss the hurt in Jinyoung's eyes, even as the younger man quickly hid it.

Jinyoung bowed at ninety degrees. "Eomeonim… I feel responsible for this situation."

Her eyes indiscernible, Mrs Im said quietly, "Why don't the three of you go inside. His father is still visiting with him. Jinyoung and I will go for a walk, won't we, dear?"

"Eomeonim…"

"Come, Jinyoung-ah, let's go…"

As they turned to walk away, Mark heard Jinyoung say, "Eomeonim… I-I-I was so…  shaken by the accident that I took certain... _liberties_. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. So sorry." Mark turned back and watched as Mrs Im stopped and patted Jinyoung on the hand, before draping an arm around his back and they were walking slowly together.

Jinyoung would be okay, Mark was sure of it. He turned back and looked forward to Jaebeom, to _his_ future.

  
* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been a while. I wrote, I edited, I had it proofed, I procrastinated, then I re-read, re-edited, re-proofed, massaged, deleted, rewrote, edited, and now we have this. Whatever this is. I hope you liked it. And well, I hope you didn't need tissues like I did when I wrote some parts of this. Come talk to me in the comments. I like hearing all the theories and the reactions. Or if you want to do it a bit more real time, you know I'm on twitter.


	31. Hurts So Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaebeom leaves the hospital in the care of Mark. How does one cope with an immobile at-home patient? Mark's about to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm sorry. No, I haven't forgotten. Here, have some smut.

The sun was streaming down as Mark opened the door to one chirpy Jackson Wang. It highlighted the Chinese's man's features well, but Mark took very little notice in that as he swung the front door wider with a weary sigh.

"How is our patient today?"

"Our patient is particularly trying today," Mark grimaced as he let Jackson in. "Come on in," he beckoned and waved a hand airily, "but pay him no mind because he is full of complaints," Mark closed the door. " _again_."

"And you thought it would be easy, Mark," the Hong Kong native reminded him.

Mark took a deep breath. "Don't remind me, Jacks. I hear about it a lot." Mark wrinkled his nose and led Jackson through the house, thinking back to how easy he had thought this would all be. But he hadn't counted on Jaebeom being a horrible patient.

It had been many days later, weeks even, but time had dragged for Mark and Jaebeom as Jaebeom's hospital stay went on an on and on. However, the day finally arrived when they had been let out of the hospital.

(Yes, _they_ , because Mark wouldn't stay away from Jaebeom. He had even refused to do anything else for Jackson until his 'baby boy' was all fixed so Jackson had had to video call or drop into the hospital whenever he had needed to discuss anything with Mark.)  

But finally, the 'baby boy' had been allowed to go home, with his hovering carer - Mark. Although Jaebeom had made it into a moon boot and the cast on his arm had been upgraded to a fibreglass light cast - still unable to be submerged but less fear of it being touched by a bit of water - he was still unable to bear weight on the leg and had to use crutches.

He could have moved home easily enough. Nevertheless, instead of Jaebeom's apartment, Mark had chosen his place for Jaebeom to convalesce in. Reason one being the more spacious of the two abodes, obviously. And reason two, a decided lack of parents staying with them - as they (parents Im and Park) were firmly ensconced in Jaebeom's apartment, depleting it of all relevant Park-related family items. Jaebeom hadn't wanted to be around when that happened and for that, Mark had been grateful.

But the hospital stay hadn't prepared Mark for Jaebeom - the in-home patient. The young brunet male was grumpy at being immobile and complained about it to Mark. Ad nauseum.

> _"It itches."_  
>  _"It's heavy."  
>  _ _"I can't use these stupid crutches."  
>  _ _"I want a shower. No! I don't want to wrap it in plastic sleeves. Oh, where is that shower cover thing? Aish, I'll take a bath instead. Oh, wait... I can't!"_

Mark closed his brain off to the recurring complaints swirling in his brain, quickly moving through the apartment. As Jackson followed - Jackson toed off his shoes, fully entering the apartment in the slippers Mark had laid out in preparation - his hand had come to rest on the shoulder of the long-suffering slender man, squeezing Mark's shoulder in both sympathy, greeting, and a silent acknowledgment of the man's words. The young Hong Kongese flashed Mark a look of understanding and offered him an empathetic smile.

Mark responded with a glimmer of a smile before indicating that they move to the office area, and they moved to start work, Jackson pulling reports and documents out of his bag.

"Did the Kyunsoo deal go through?" Mark inquired in Mandarin.

Jackson nodded as he shuffled reports. "Yeah, they were happy with it. Work is due to start in three months' time."

Mark hummed and made some notes. The two Chinese-speaking men worked amicably together, conversing in low tones, with their peculiar mix of Korea, English, and Mandarin that they used when together. Mark typed some notes into his laptop, while Jackson emailed some clients.

Jackson asked shortly, "Do you know if the Sings made any decisions about that interior layout they wanted?"

"I spoke to the Acting CEO; he said they had not yet finalised which layout worked. That's code for 'I'm stalling because I haven't been told what to do yet.'" Mark raised his brows.

Jackson laughed. "Let's put that one on hold then; it might take another two months before anything comes of it and put the Kims' hotel in Daegu project ahead. They are closer to sign-off on the first section, and the plans for the second part came in yesterday."  

The two poured over various documents - invoices, purchase order forms, and proposals, as well as scoping documents. Then it was phone calls and more emails while the sun moved slowly across the sky, creating and shifting shadows around the two men.

Time passed quickly as they worked together, discussing the various client sites and projects until Mark excused himself for a toilet break.

Mark and Jackson were working from Mark's apartment rather than Jackson's office today because then Mark could still look after Jaebeom. Upon his return, the two both decided they could use a break before resuming their work.

"How is he today?" asked Jackson, leaning back and stretching his arms. Mark flashed him a brief look of irritation and grunted non-committally, serving them both fresh drinks.

"He's had been particularly sarcastic in the most recent of days and very trying," Mark said shortly. Very much so on Mark's patience in those moments. Mark closed his eyes at the memories of some particularly bad times when Jaebeom had been frustrated and fed up with his immobility that he'd thrown his tray of food aside. At the time, his mother had been visiting and the younger man had been severely chastised by both an angry Mark and an irate mother, leading the younger man to be very apologetic after.

Still, Mark felt a deal of pity and sympathy for him - times when Jaebeom had slipped in the bathroom, or even just being frustrated that the act of going to the toilet wasn't even a private affair as he had to be balanced or held, either bodily, or help to hold his dick - it was a humbling and most humiliating time for Jaebeom. The older man could understand (most of the time) when the younger man would lash out in resentment and frustration. Granted, the younger boy had done nothing bad as such, but oh my god, the complain, complain, and fucking complain. Mark didn't begrudge him that - just... it would be nice if he would stop doing it all the fucking time.

But at that moment, when he and Jackson heard, "Aish, can you do something to alleviate this boredom? I can't even do anything while in bed. I wank with that hand. Do you know how rough a cast is against your dick?" the older man just desperately wanted to hit him with the laptop. Mark was not feeling it. No pity and sympathy - just anger and exasperation.

The older blond ran a frustrated hand through his hair and growled low in his throat, trying not to let his friend know just how fucked off he was getting. But at Jackson's next words, Mark knew he had done a poor job of hiding it from the younger blond.

"Is he always like this?," Jackson asked quietly, his eyes wide. Mark could tell that Jackson was concerned for him.

He shook his head. "No. Yes." Mark sighed in frustration. "He's often worse."

"Hyung," Jackson's face was grave. "this is bad. It's not healthy."

Mark sighed, "I know. I try to tell him to quit complaining so much…"

"No, that's not what I meant," corrected Jackson. "Jaebeom is … well… he needs to get off."

Mark looked at him, confused. "What?"

Jackson gave him a knowing look. "Markiepooh, he's frustrated, and sexually at that!" He leaned in, "Have you done anything at all to help him while he's been laid up? Get those dopamine and endorphin levels up?"

Mark could feel his face heating up. "No! We've been in the hospital, Jacks!"

"Well, I wouldn't have that stop me. But, you're home now. What's been stopping you?"

"Well…" Mark thought about it. "Nothing."

"And…?"

"But I'm tired…" whined Mark, "... he's _exhausting_."

"Hyung." Jackson's tone was firm. "Do you love him?"

"Yes." Mark's was sullen.

"Do you love his cock?"

"Jackson!" Mark hissed, eyes darting around furtively.

"Well? Do you? Don't you want that thick cock shoved up you and you riding him?"

Mark closed his eyes. _God yes._ "Yes."

"And don't you want to silence that complaining mouth with your cock, and fuck it until he is using his mouth for swallowing instead of complaining?"

Mark looked at Jackson with hooded, angry eyes. "Yes."

Jackson held out his hands, palms up. "Hey! Don't shoot the messenger. You're the one who missed the memo about giving your boyfriend dick, or mouth-to-cock aid."

"Fuck.You."

"No. That's what you should be doing to him." Jackson looked proud of himself. He waved his hands and arms around and pointed to various places in the open plan apartment. "Yep. Fuck him. Out there. On the couch. Looking out over your skyline. Nothing wrong with his brain or his dick. I'm going now. I'll be back," Jackson thought about it and added hastily, " … but not today."

Mark watched with narrowed eyes as Jackson gathered his things and packed them up. He hit the other man when Jackson smirked and cocked a brow at him, wagging his brows up and down. Jackson let out his signature hyena laugh, happiness radiating from him, and the older man shook his head at the younger's obvious delight and pleasure in his awkwardness.

"Stop it," he grumped at Jackson.

"Someone's going to get some…" teased Jackson in a loud whisper, biting his lip while grinning. Jokingly, Mark shoved the blond out towards the front door. He followed the Hong Kong man out. "Be seeing you, JB!" Jackson called out as he walked through past the angry, laid-up brunet to the foyer.

Jackson put his shoes on but Mark grabbed his arm before he went out the door. The younger blond stopped to look at him and Mark smiled, "Jacks… Thanks."

The other man waggled his brows, did a few suggestive rutting hip movements before cackling and walking out. Mark shook his head. That Jackson… He took a deep breath before he decided to do something about his sexually frustrated dick and his little man too.

_Oh, Jaebeommie…_

  


* * * * *

Jaebeom was pouting as he sat against the headboard on Mark's bed. He was bored. Something was missing. He didn't know what; just that something was.

He knew that this immobility was his future for the time being but it didn't help to know that. It wasn't even his fault, for damn's sake. It was the fault of the driver who hit him and oh wow, was he acting the victim here? _Gah_. He sighed and leaned his head back against the headboard staring at the ceiling. He knew he was being sulky but he couldn't help it.

He wanted to be up, to be active, to be doing his morning run, to be going to the gym.

Not lying on his back, staring at a screen or the ceiling. _Unless he had a really good reason to be on his back_ … he could feel the corners of his lips tugging up into a smirk and he couldn't help it. It was because of the thought of what he'd rather be doing while flat on his back…. Mark. He'd rather be doing Mark.

Talking of Mark…

That delicious walking talking tall drink of … _oh god, look at him leaning against that door jamb_ . Wearing that red hoodie… Jaebeom gulped… and **_only_ ** that red hoodie.

He greeted the blond, "Hello." Jaebeom was surprised how not-croaky-and-desperate sounding his own voice was. He eyed Mark from crotch to top and back again. Those hands though…

"Hey Jaebeom," drawled Mark… his boyfriend drawled and his mother fucking dick paid full attention to that. It knew that drawl. Jaebeom felt raw, exposed as those eyes raked his body equally as rapaciously as he'd done to the older man.

He eyed the slender man again from crotch where he could see those bare naked balls to those soulful, intense eyes, and lingered on those full, plump, pink lips and back down to cock again.

His own dick grew to an almost painful hardness by the time he'd got back, seeing the outline of the hard-on that Mark was sporting and very casually palming and rubbing through the hoodie.

"Fuck me," he whispered as he stared at the visible outline of that cock through the clothing the blond man wore. He was watching with avid interest as those slim fingers continued to stroke themselves against that hardness he wanted to feel for himself. "Fuck. Me."

"What was that Jaebeommie?" asked Mark, finally pushing off the wall and slowly making his way to the end of the bed.

Jaebeom's heart started to pound as Mark first knelt on the bed then slowly crawled up towards him, moving inch by agonising inch.

_Holy fuck me._

Yes please, his brain added. He shook his head and heard Mark laugh. His eyes focused on that boy's mouth. _God, those lips_ … He would do anything to press against those lips.

Then it was those very lips that pressed - not against his but - against that spot on his neck; that oh-so-sensitive spot that made him knee-jerk react and his dick yell… and those slim fingers that slid along his skin to cup his neck, enticing and encouraging him to lean into their warmth, as firm - dare he say it - _calculating_ lips teased along his skin, breathing hot air on moistened skin... as his _evil_ boyfriend's errant and wayward tongue licked along the column of his neck and _oh god - that tickles… wait… oh, fuck yes_ …  Jaebeom flushed as his dick stood to full mast with all sails blazing, blood rushing south to make him harder still and - _oh fuck me, did Mark just s_ …

Jaebeom felt his eyes roll back, his toes curling as Mark sucked hard on his neck. Like hard-hard. Like sucking and tonguing right on that sensitive spot that had him just about cumming in his pants. Okay that was a lie, but he _was_ rock hard, balls tight, and his nipples were just as erect and he could feel Mark's hand under his shirt, and his man was somehow suddenly straddling him - when the fuck did that happen - and Jaebeom could feel Mark's ass on his own clothed cock; the elder's hand stealing up his chest to brush against an erect nipple; touching, teasing, the pads of his fingers hot and firm against his sensitive buds.

And that mouth…

That dirty, filthy-sounding mouth was moving over his neck, brushing their firm plumpness against his heated skin, murmuring… no… _teasing_ and _tantalising_ and downright moaning obscene and filthy ' _oh fuck yes you want your cock inside me; you want your thick hard cock sliding inside my hot little ass and fucking me…'_

Oh yes, Mark's voice was hot, sultry and downright fucking filthy and Jaebeom was just dying.

"Mark…" His toes curled. "Maaa...rk."

His nipples ached as his voice choked on his boyfriend's name. "Please!"

He rutted up, rocking his hips up towards Mark, his dick dying for some friction, and he felt Mark grin against his skin.

He moaned, knowing the man was torturing him.

"Stop…" he whined, trying to cant his hips upward again and feeling the older's thighs gripping along his sides, preventing him from getting the friction he wanted.

He gripped the sheet with one hand as Mark moved to lathe at the base of his throat, sucking and gently biting his way along his collarbone. " _Aish, jebal…_ " and down along his chest.

Hot warmth spread along his body as his body heated up with desire and plain want. Then it was his head thrusting backward as his blond simultaneously tongued a sensitive nipple and slid a hot hand under his waistband; heatedly palming his bare cock that had Jaebeom arching up as his cock felt that familiar hand. He choked out, _"Mark hyung!"_ precome slickly smoothing the way for the man to slide his hand down the younger's hard cock firmly and easily. And Jaebeom was not complaining - _oh no he wasn't._

_But holy fuck did those fingers… oh fuck …_

Jaebeom could feel those long slim fingers tracing over his tight balls and he could feel his balls curling and tightening and, _dear god, how long had it been since he'd cum last  - was it before the accident?_ \- and then the question was being removed from his mind as his man slid down his body; mouth roving over him, errant tongue dipping into every crevice on his body on its way down, being eye-fucked every goddamn time his man looked up at him, and then it was sucking and dipping into the hollow of his hips, the older man's cheek brushing against the sensitive side of his cock, and... it _twitched_ . It goddamn twitched towards the teasing, corrupting man who was lying between his spread legs - _he was such a slut for this man_ \- and it was the depraved blond who pulled his sweats down, releasing his cock - _finally_ \- and then it was goddamn fucking heat - _fuck that mouth was fucking hot… oh, fuck yes..._ \- as that talented mouth moved over his cock.

Jaebeom had died and gone to heaven. Or maybe it was hell as Mark continued to tease him, making him moan and twist in his mouth.

The licking and the sucking and the moving of Mark's hands over his cock were making his blood thrum in his ears; his skin felt like it was stretched too tightly over his body; his entire concentration was at the apex of his legs as his cock twitched in the elder's hand and mouth.

Then it was coolness flowing over him as the older man let his cock go and Jaebeom cried out in frustration…

… before moaning lewdly when the blond tugged and lubed up the younger man's cock…

And then Jaebeom's eyes widened… for Mark reared up and leaned forward, hand disappearing somewhere behind the blond man's body…

Jaebeom's cock got even harder than he had thought possible when Mark choked out a strangled moan; pink lips parting with the sound, dark pink tongue peeking out, while his body shuddered…

… _jesus fuck that was a butt plug_ …

… the blond pulled out the plug and threw it someplace.

Jaebeom sucked in a breath as Mark's eyes met and held his.

That intense gaze held him for a moment before Mark moved slowly, sinuously; now straddling his hips, slim fingers lifting his heavy cock… then he could see Mark's entrance, the hole clenching over nothing, the blond lowering it over the brunet's aching, almost purple cock and then it was …. _Fucking hell, oh Jesus fucking Christ and almighty fuck I'll worship you forever oh god_ he strangled some words out of his constricted throat as the slender man eased onto his cock.

He arched back as the tightness of Mark's hole constricted around him.

_Fuck that was…. Oh, fuck yes yes yes yes…_

And those eyes, those eyes that had held his while those lips had been teasing him so captivating, so inviting, so … _oh god, what_ …. those same eyes, they crinkled at the corners as that inviting mouth grinned a feral sort of grin, the kind that had always had him wondering if he were going to come out of this alive, and sensitive or not, his dick still twitched with that hint and promise of more to come…

"Mark…" he softly moaned the man's name, licking his lips and the athletic man pulled the red hoodie up and off… All Jaebeom could see was Mark's bare abs and bare chest. And goddamn fucking cock.

Jaebeom couldn't help but look down … he saw his own dick, hard and slickly wet with lube, sliding in and out of his man and he saw his man's hand, slowly pumping his own erect cock. He watched while Mark tugged on himself while rising and falling on his cock. The younger felt the hot heat of the elder's inner walls as his cock was eased in and out of the slim blond, making Jaebeom arch his hips up and moan lewdly, _"Oh god, do that… just like that… yes. Fuck yes."_ \- as the older man's experienced ass moved along his aching cock... The sight and feel of it all made Jaebeom want to cum and come hard.

His cock head pulsed and ached as his man slid slowly - _fuck you Mark_ \- and it leaked copious amounts of precome as the blond moved down and up and pausing at the top to slam down to his balls - fucking hell then it was - _oh fuck_ \- Jaebeom fought to breathe - _breathing what was that?_ \- that motherfucking tongue flattening against his nipple, licking up a stripe …

He choked on a gasp as Mark took his nipple into his mouth and it was hot - _fuck it was hot_ … to look down and see his man sucking his nipple in his mouth with those plump pink lips...

And the man's ass tightened during that slide down his dick, that hot heat slickly engulfed his cock and that tongue teased the sensitive nipple before the man slid back up to grind against his balls before he rose and slammed back down… glide up, slick down...

And Jaebeom arched back, hand coming up to his mouth to fist his mouth...

"Fuck Mark fuck," he whispered hoarsely, and, _oh god,_ his heart hammered against his ribs and his balls were hot and tight and he was yelling and it was too hot, and it was too much and when a hand twisted his nipple and another touched his ring and taint, and " _oh fuck, Mark. Mark, I'm … I think… shit… coming… fffff ….hyung..._ "

It was with a yell that was torn from his throat and he couldn't hear or see, just felt his balls releasing and his cock twitching as his cock shot after shot of cum, painting Mark's inner walls white and Mark riding him until he became too sensitive… _Fuck!_

Jaebeom arched back and howled at the oversensitivity. He growled harshly, staring at the blond who was looking at him while still riding him.

"Fuck! Mark! Mark!!!"

He hissed and curled in, prying his boyfriend off him.

Mark stopped and grinned, letting Jaebeom slide out with a plop. The smaller man sat atop him, smiling that feral grin.

_Goddamn it, Mark._

"Jaebeom…"

He could hear the gloating yet enticing tone of his boyfriend.

He felt fucked out and groaned out, "Fuck off, you evil man, and your wayward ways."

He lay back. He was blind. He was sure of it. Didn't his mother say something about too many times of jacking off and cumming made you blind?

He felt thoroughly debauched, his sweats were still around his thighs for fuck's sake, his shirt was pushed up to his armpits and neck, and he could feel the remnants of what he imagined was saliva and cum sliding down over the base of his cock and his butt cheeks. He felt like he'd run a marathon and yet as he watched Mark lick his lips, he could feel his balls tightening, dick hardening and his brain dinging like 'round number two!'

He shut his eyes, throwing his good arm over his face. He heard the chuckle of his boyfriend and opened his eyes to find Mark's face above him.

"Jaebeommie…"  the cute tone belied the evil smirk on his boyfriend's face. Belatedly, he remembered that Mark hadn't cum yet and he looked down to see the blond's thick cock in his boyfriend's hand, being fisted and tugged.

"Mark…" he softly moaned the man's name, licking his lips and willing that gorgeous, veiny, thick cock to come his way, and watched as that man wavered, biting his lip before sitting up and leaning forward. One hand holding his cock at the base, he hovered in front of Jaebeom's face while the other hand braced himself on the wall above the younger man's head.

Jaebeom stared up at him, seeing only balls, cock and abs, and above it, his man's turned on expression.

_God that was hot._

Jaebeom stared at his man's hard, red cock with its leaking head, rock hard and weeping for his touch, and he could see it, smell the musky aroma of Mark and he wanted the taste…

He looked up again and Mark grinned at him and Jaebeom felt it was a satisfied sort of a grin then it was his mind focusing on only Mark's hard and very naked cock before him as Mark softly demanded, "Blow me." The 'bitch' was implied.

And Jaebeom was okay with that.

He opened his mouth and felt the heavy weight of Mark's cock on it, tasting that sweet taste of his man mixed with the taste of himself, before the familiar musky scent of Mark hit his nose as he relaxed his throat and took in Mark's cock to the hilt. He heard the guttural groan above his head, felt the shudder that ran through his man's tautly held body and felt the older pull back, hovering for a moment before pushing back in.

Jaebeom teased that cock as best he could, raising his hands to grip at Mark's slow-thrusting hips. The younger man could hear the panting breaths, the gasps, and the lewd, lewd moans " _oh fuck baby, oh fuck, baby boy, yes, fuck you do this so well, oh you fucking want to be my little cum slut fuck you are oh fuck…_ " and he adjusted his pace and angle.

Mark let out a throaty cry from the depths of his throat and Jaebeom could feel those balls tightening…

He held the man back with his hands, denying his length his mouth, only the head… He could feel his blond's shudder and jerky motions as the older man moaned in protest, _"Oh god, Jaebeommie… your mouth… fuck, I've missed your mouth…"_ before letting the man slide forward into his mouth again. He felt the tugs on his hair, the pants in ever decreasing cycles and as he moved his hand to finger the slender man's rim, pressing against it and dipping in knuckle deep. He felt those balls tightening and then it was a hoarse cry above him as his man shot ropes of cum into his mouth and Jaebeom swallowed it all, feeling Mark's cock twitching and body shuddering, sucking him into oversensitivity _"aish Jaebeom stop please jebal fuck_ " until finally he stopped moving and let go of the man's slowly decreasing cock.

Smiling gently, Jaebeom helped move the slimmer man to the side of him as best he could, easing the older onto the bed beside him. And as he cuddled the naked man, he had one thought before sleep threatened to claim him.

_Fuck - that was fucking awesome._

He hadn't meant to say it out loud but he must for he hadn't expected Mark to wrap his lean fingers around his half hard cock and tug, whispering, "But we're not finished yet, baby."

_Fuck_.

This was what he'd been missing.

* * * * *

 


	32. So Much For My Happy Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Jaebeom are caught with their pants down. The accident report also comes in. Will Jin and Brain be scarred forever? Will Jaebeom and Mark be happy with the results?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look another update! Again, I'm sorry. No excuses. Here, have some more smut. With a little more plot.

They say that life has an overwhelming sense of fairplay. When something goes wrong in one place, somewhere in the world something moves in motion in order to right things, to balance it out, to make sure the scales are never tipped too far one way or the other.

When Jinyoung left Jaebeom thought his world had ended but apparently it was the signal for the Universe that Mark and Jaebeom would meet. It would move hell or high water for him to go to Japan and for Mark to be there too.

And when Jinyoung happened on them and Jaebeom was figuratively thrown into Mark's arms, Jaebeom figured that was when things were evened out.

But the accident happened…And Jaebeom wasn't so sure anymore. Surely it was Jinyoung's turn, after all?

So Jaebeom should not have been surprised that the Universe decided that its sense of fairplay had to happen.

 

* * * * *

It was a few days later that the parents Im asked to come around to Mark's apartment. They had received copies of the police reports about the accident with them and had asked to come around to discuss them.

Seokjin and Yoo Youngjae had arrived earlier at the elder parent's behest, letting themselves in with the key Mark had given them.

That had turned out badly for the four men…

"My eyes! My eyes!"

The two caught Mark and Jaebeom in the bedroom 'in flagrante delicto'... the elder growling as he'd ' _been so close to cumming, you dickwads_.'

They scrambled under the covers while Seokjin stood with his hands over his eyes and Yoo Youngjae was scrambling up against the wall, his eyes tightly shut.

"Why do we always find you two naked?" Seokjin asked.

Jaebeom chuckled, "Because you always come in using a key?"

"A key that you gave us!" Youngjae refused to face the couple even after they were covered up.

"Because you had demanded it!" rebutted Mark hotly. "I didn't know you'd keep letting yourself in like this!"

"You should! I set the precedence already!"

"How was I to know that you would throw yourself into my bed every time you came around???"

"You should know better than to be doing… doing… " Youngjae spluttered.

"Jaebeom," Jaebeom supplied helpfully.

"Yes! Him! I mean you! I mean… oh shit, my brain." Needless to say, the key was demanded to be rightfully returned following Yoo Youngjae's savage declaration, "My eyes will never be the same."

Mark's retorted, "That serves you right for jumping into our bed again. Now hand over my key!"

Yoo Youngjae visibly shuddered, his eyes not meeting either Mark or Jaebeom's and slapping the key into Mark's outstretched hand.

"Do you mind leaving so we can get dressed now?" Mark asked in a waspish tone.

Mark's hope for a bit of tension relief before the parents turned up was very obviously interrupted and he couldn't help but be curt in his manner.

Possibly why he called out "Might not want to sit on the couch!" as he got out of bed to grab their clothes from the floor. The "Ew, dude," that came from the direction of the lounge made it worth it though as he pulled on his boxers and pants. Angrily he tugged on his belt as he did it up.

"That was uncalled for," Jaebeom said lightly, but Mark hadn't been able to resist. He was more than a bit cross, knowing that Jaebeom was a bit tense about what the report might say about the accident, the man still having issues with recalling all the events surrounding the accident.

"Yeah well, we were busy," he said a pout in his tone, pulling his tee over his head. He looked at the younger man as he shoved his arms into the sleeves.

From the bed, Jaebeom shook his head at him, a cute smile lifting the corner of his lips. "You're being a shithead, you know."

"I know," he said, crossing back and pressing their foreheads together, closing his eyes. He had just wanted some time with Jaebeom before whatever the report might say. He felt the younger man breathing along with him and he opened his eyes to gaze at him, looking at the full red lips that were swollen from his kisses. He pressed his lips against them, feeling the answering kiss back from his man. He sighed. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, Mark. Honestly."

Mark hmmed, holding Jaebeom close, arms wrapped loosely around his shoulders. "Less pain today? Or more? Or the same?"

Jaebeom hummed noncommittally, shrugging. "I was doing just fine while you were doing that thing…" he flashed Mark a shy but knowing smile and Mark drew in a shaky breath. He knew exactly what the younger man was referring to…

Mark leaned into the hand that came to cup his butt and he bit his lip as Jaebeom gave him a crooked smile and quirked his brow. "We can't," he hoarsely whispered, biting his lip, even though he was sorely tempted. "We have guests…" he reminded the younger man.

The younger man reminded him, "Guests who interrupted us…" before Jaebeom lifted the covers enough to briefly show Mark his still hard cock before putting covers over it again. Mark felt his own cock hardening in his pants. _Evil man. Bad boy._

"You are such a corrupting little boy…" he gasped when Jaebeom palmed his length through his pants, feeling that warmth from his hand through the material and felt the familiar fingers rubbing him to full erection. "You are an evil evil man…" he softly teased as he stood beside the bed, cock now fully hard in his man's hand.

Jaebeom moved, legs parting either side of him. Mark's eyes widened, and he choked back a gulp, for Jaebeom's hard length was revealed in all its glory before him. Fuck, that boy was _hard_ . And naked. He stuck a fist in his mouth. _Fuck_.

"Like what you see?" Jaebeom grinned up at him, a sexy smirk on that handsome face. "Am I the bad boy who is corrupting you or the evil man coercing you?"

Mark reached forward, placing his palm against the back of his neck, and felt the warmth beneath his skin. Jaebeom's lips brushed against the sensitive inner skin of his wrist and the blond shuddered when he felt the younger man's breath wash over him, sending tingling feelings down his spine and coaxing a moan from his lips.

"You're a good boy…" Mark leaned down to run his tongue along the younger man's lower lip, swallowing the gasp as he covered the man's mouth with his. His tongue teased with the younger's, painfully aware of both of their hunger not yet satiated. But he was aiming to do something about that.

He deepened the kiss, moving his mouth over the other's, slowly, unhurriedly, asking, coaxing, pleading.

The older man felt elation flood through him as he felt the younger's sharp intake of breath. His answer came in the form of hot, shuddering breaths, panting moans, and a silent surrender to his lips. Then the slowly released groan sent shivers down the elder's spine in a cock tingling sort of way.

The sound of their harried breathing filled the older man's ears as their kiss deepened, however, his cock pressed against his pants with painful intensity.

With reluctance, Mark pulled back to adjust his hard, almost painful dick, dipping his hand down into his pants to pull his cock up, his hips jerking as his fingers brushed over his sensitised skin.

"Undo them…" breathed Jaebeom, chasing his lips as Mark pulled away to stand, settling instead for brushing his fingers over the sensitised head that was peeking out of the elder's pants.

"Shit…" Mark gasped.

The younger's hands were already joining Mark's to undo the fastening and the zip, pulling at the waistband of his boxers. The brunet's warm lips joined his fingers, pressing hard kisses along the skin revealed. With somewhat clumsy and jerky movement, the older man managed to undo his pants around Jaebeom's hand and hot mouth, and Mark's cock finally sprang free. Wasting no time, Jaebeom's fingers wrapped themselves around the hard form, making Mark gasp as he felt the younger tugging and sliding his hand along his length, lips against his head. Then they were joined by a hot delving tongue.

"Jaebeom…" his boy's name left his mouth in a hot gasp when the younger dipped the tip of his tongue into the older man's slit. "Fuck, Jaebeommie," his high pitched strangled whine was forced out of his suddenly constricted throat as the younger swallowed the length of his cock into his mouth.

Mark's head swam as Jaebeom's hand slid down and back up his length, fingers coming to tease his balls, gliding down and around them. He closed his eyes, "Fuck, Jaebeom..."

Jaebeom slid off him, fingers still pumping him. "No time," his boy teased and Mark opened his eyes to glare down at him.

"Now is not the time to joke," he gritted through clenched teeth.

Jaebeom gave him a smug smirk. Mark scowled then he moaned. Fingers had tightened warmly around his shaft and Jaebeom's hand pumped him, slowly at first, then faster as Mark held his hands in the younger man's hair, those full lips slick as his tongue snaked out to lick at them, and those dark eyes looking at him.

His hips jerked as Jaebeom fisted him faster, then it was a mindblowing moment as Jaebeom took him into his mouth, those dark eyes still looking up at him, and Mark found himself shuddering quickly to the climax his body had been clamoring for all morning; balls tightening, cock spasming, and ropes of pearly cum spurted hotly into his boyfriend's willing mouth.

He gasped as his body shook until eventually he couldn't cum anymore and there was only growing sensitivity on his cock. Shuddering, he pulled on Jaebeom's hair lightly, unable to utter a single word. Jaebeom's mouth slid off his cock and Mark swallowed with difficulty, fighting to regain his breath and his equilibrium. He fell to his knees, kneeling down in front of his boy, as his body calmed to a more regular heart rate.

"Fuck, I needed that." Smiling tiredly, Mark struggled to take a breath, feeling Jaebeom's other hand carding through his damp hair. Jaebeom's smug face met his eyes and Mark swatted at him. "Proud of yourself there, Jaebeommie?"

The boy laughed and nodded. Mark thought himself lucky.

He leaned forward, pressing his lips gently against the younger's.

"Thank you," his voice soft.

Jaebeom nodded, his face still smugly smiling.

Grinning back, Mark slowly ran his hand up the younger boy's bare thigh to palm his length.

Jaebeom's smirk became crooked as the younger became affected by Mark's actions.

Mark gave a little grin.

He watched as Jaebeom's lips parted on a soft moan, his eyes roving over the boy's face. Mark licked his lips, noting Jaebeom following his tongue as Mark ran his tongue along his upper lip. Teasingly, the blond grinned lasciviously, sucking his lip in and biting it before slowly releasing it.

The younger drew in a shuddering breath in response… "Mark…" he breathed, as Mark firmly pumped his hand on his cock. His hips jerked when Mark bent down and breathed on the head of his cock…

"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"

The expletive sounded from the doorway to their room before they heard, "now _he's_ giving JB a blowjob!" from the lounge.

Jaebeom ran a shaky hand through his hair and groaned. "You should probably go out there," he indicated to Mark, looking thoroughly frustrated at the idea, but Mark had other ideas.

The blond grinned up at the younger. "He did say I was giving you a blowjob. So I may as well finish it?"

The dawning realisation on his boy's before Mark took Jaebeom's head of his cock into his mouth. He licked around the head, swirling his tongue around like the boy had done to him earlier, waiting until he heard the shallow gasps before he moved his mouth all the way to the base, and he waited for a moment, relaxing his throat and pressing his tongue up hard against the man's cock. He heard the deep guttural groan, felt the shudder run through under his hands and through his mouth and he drew back slowly, sucking as he did so, feeling the tenseness in the thigh muscles under his palms. He did it all again, waiting until the groans became moans until the moans became whimpers; he sucked, he teased; before eventually lifting his head up again. The man's eyes were closed, his breath coming in shallow whimpering draws… Mark snapped his fingers in front of Jaebeom's eyes. "Jaebeom? You still with me here?"

The younger man opened his eyes, obviously bringing his mind back. "What? Oh yes, I am definitely here. Do that again. Please. _Jebal_."

Mark grinned at his obvious effect on his boy. He gave a wicked, little chuckle, while also giving a supercilious smirk. Jaebeom shook his head, an answering smirk on his face. Eyeing him all the while, Mark pumped his cock, twisting his hand along the slick length. The dark haired boy's smirk wavered then left as he groaned hard and jerked inwardly. "Jebal, Mark…. This is torture. Faster… please."

The blond took his hand off and licked his palm from wrist to tip, then wet his lips as he slid his hand slickly along the man's length, holding the other man's gaze when the brunet jerked at his touch.

He let out a cackle of sorts as Jaebeom swore, "Goddammit, Mark," and the blond laughed once more before dipping down to touch his tongue to his cock. "Yessss… that. More. Please."

Casually running his tongue up his length, he lazily circled that head. Glancing up, he met that dark-eyed gaze, smoldering at him. He grinned around the man's cock before calmly taking him again into his mouth and suck. _God, he tasted good._

"Fuck it! Mark!" The swearing was coarser now.

Emboldened, he slid his mouth slickly down his length and he could feel the younger man's balls tightening in response.

"Oh God, this is… so... fucking...oh god... great, yes!"

Jaebeom's hand had scrambled its way to Mark's hair and he could tell by the way Jaebeom held it there lightly that he possibly did not want to risk the elder pulling away, but the older knew he was wanting to maintain a touch, a link to him outside of his mouth on him. Mark could relate to that.

With an effort, he kept the speed slow at first, then gradually speeding up, but maintaining a steady rhythm, his hand moved along him, sliding and twisting as his lips stayed firmly wrapped around the younger man's cock. His lean fingers brushed against the younger's tight sac when his other hand rose to caress it.

"... too much….Stop," Jaebeom whispered above Mark's head as the elder's mouth and hands worked on him. Mark ignored him, continuing to work on his boy. "Mark!" he heard the boy gasp, body shuddering. He pulled off.

"Not yet," he whispered to Jaebeom as he leaned across to the side table and grabbed the lube. He watched as Jaebeom followed his movement with hooded eyes, mouth part, panting breaths escaping.

Lifting his head slightly, he moved his hand, enabling him to slide the tip of a lubed finger into the younger. Mark wanted nothing more than to slide himself inside the dark-haired man, but he knew they didn't have time. Regretfully, he sighed but with his mouth and hand still firmly working on the boy's hard cock, the elder eased another finger inside; moving them at a slow, even tempo.

Angling his head so he could see Jaebeom's face, he watched him closely as he alternated with the flat of his tongue and the tip around the younger man's head, swirling it around slowly before dipping into the slit, and then sliding all the way down to tease him closer and closer to his impending climax.

The boy's face was contorted, his jaw was open; panting moans and guttural groans escaping from his open mouth. Mark sucked harder and the boy dropped his head back, letting out a cry.

The older man felt that surge of energy, knowing that it was him making his boy feel that way and he put in even more effort, pressing his hand in, curling his fingers to find his man's g-spot, and he felt the answering jerk of the brunet's hips and the corresponding groan that told the older that was it; he got the spot.

Had he not had a mouthful of Jaebeom's  dick in his mouth he would have smirked, but instead, the blonde continued to move his mouth up and down the length of the younger man's cock, moved his fingers to pump in and out of his man, sliding purposely against that spot over and over again.

The tension was building inside the younger, he could feel his muscles tightening all around his fingers, and the blond listened to the way the younger's breath hitched in his throat, the small puffs of air as the dark haired man arched his back and moaned.

Mark could feel from the way Jaebeom drew his legs up and how his hips were slowly roiling under his ministrations; he knew the brunet was not far from his orgasm. The moans were sounding louder and coming faster above his head. He moved faster and sucked harder and then it was spurts of cum in his mouth and he swallowed as he sucked and was rewarded with the hoarse cry above him as Jaebeom kept cumming, fingers gripping tightly to Mark's hair.

Finally, the grip on his hair eased, and Mark slid his mouth off Jaebeom's slowly deflating cock.

The weak chuckle from the brunet as he threw himself back on the bed, legs still straddled around Mark. "Fuck, babe."

"You're a pair of fucking bunnies," came the call from the lounge. "My ears are now contaminated!"

"You shouldn't have been listening!" he called back, his hands slowly stroking and calming his younger boyfriend's skin. He pressed his lips to Jaebeom's hip and laughed. "If they weren't scarred before, I think they might be now," moving up to lay next to his baby boy and kissed him fully on the lips before lying back himself. "What time were your parents due again?"

"Soon, I think."

Mark eased himself up, kissed the brunet again before scrambling up and redressing. He made a face at his damp boxers and quickly pulled his pants and boxers off, looking in the closet for new pairs of each. As he dressed, he looked at the replete brunet lying naked on the bed spread eagle. He chuckled and grabbed some clothes for the dark-haired man. He tossed them at him before saying, "I'll get your meds and water; you get dressed."

* * * * *

He walked out fully clothed, having cleaned up in the bathroom on the way, leaving a grumbling but smiling Jaebeom behind. Mark cast Seokjin and Youngjae a seemingly innocent look as he grabbed a bottle of water and the medication needed for the younger man. "Avoid the dining chairs..." he'd smirked at them before turning on his heel at the sound of the doorbell.

"Ew, dude…" had followed the older man to the door as he'd gone to let Mr and Mrs Im into the house.

He raised a brow at their pained expressions once he followed the Ims back into the kitchen. Satisfied that he'd caused them as much pain as the blue balls they'd given him and Jaebeom, he pledged to stop making pointed comments. Pledged - not actually stopping though.

Quietly he handed the water and pills to the younger man who had made it out to the kitchen, watching as Jaebeom quickly swallowed them, sculling water back to wash them down, making a face. Mark raised a brow at him questioningly.

Jaebeom replied in a whisper, "They always taste so bad," to Mark, before going to greet his parents. Mark gave a soft laugh. Jaebeom was such a baby sometimes. His baby though. Mark was good with that. He followed the crutch-wielding boy.

The parents were depositing their offerings into the kitchen; there was much rejoicing in the kimchi Mrs Im had brought with her.

"I hear it's good for fixing eyesight," Mark remarked straight-faced, looking at Yoo Youngjae. "Not sure about ears though." The man blanched at his words, the younger shuddering at the memory and made a face at Mark. The older man sniggered, patting the younger on the back.

"That's just mean," whined Youngjae.

"What's going on?" asked Mrs Im as she set out the food for them to help themselves, her darting eyes showing her curiosity.

"Nothing!" the boys chorused, avoiding looking at one another.

The infamous strawberry yoghurt was well received but earned a, "Jaebeom-ah, you need to share," that made the man scowl as he held it protectively to his chest.

But Father Im brought fried chicken and beer; and all four boys were all over the Im parents, hugging and thanking them before feasting on the food brought with them.

There was still the odd red face when eyes would meet and Yoo Youngjae or Kim Seokjin would resolutely turn around and present their back to either Mark or Jaebeom, causing much laughter between the other two and many mystified looks from the Im parents.

But it was pleasant and satisfying in a way that only the comfort of home can bring to a group setting. For Mark, it was also nice to have laughter and joy in the house after all the grumbling… although admittedly, Mark had noticed a marked absence of grumbling after all the sexing recently. He smirked as he caught Jaebeom's eyes. Mark coughed and snickered at Jaebeom's quietly and hastily mouthed, _Stop it!_ behind his mother's back as the younger male reddened at the older man's thorough scan of his body.

Mrs Im turned around and glanced between the two of them with a smirk of her own. "Okay okay, while it's all very well with this lovefest… the reason we came to see you today was to talk to you about your accident."

Mark saw Jaebeom make eye contact with his father who nodded.

Jaebeom wrapped his arms around his mother's shoulders. "Let's finish eating and then we can go sit in the lounge, eh?" he said gently.

She smiled, smoothing his hand on her shoulder. "Of course. Let's do that. I'm sorry. I'm just anxious. I don't like my son being injured." She reached up to put a hand on her son's cheek. "Are you doing okay? Mark is taking good care of you? I hope you're taking good care of my son, Mark. His needs are greater these days, you know."

Mark smiled. "I'm taking care of him, Eomma."

"I'm sure you are, Mark. I'm just… he's my son."

Seokjin crossed the room to also wrap his arms around Mrs Im. "We all love him and take care of him, Eomma. You know we wouldn't have let this happen if we' been able to prevent it."

"I know, " she sniffed. "But I can't help feeling like I want to wrap him in bandages…"

"... or a bubble…" Mark offered..

"... or one of those hamster balls!" added Jin.

"Hey!" Jaebeom objected. "I don't like those balls!"

"Just Mark's…" Mark sniggered at his own joke.

All eyes turned to Youngjae as he sprayed the room with his drink. "S-s-sorry," apologised the young man weakly. He grabbed some kitchen towels and started cleaning up, carefully hiding his red face.

Mark cackled loudly, then his face flamed as he realised whom he'd said it in front of, and he quickly quietened down, biting his lip.

"I think that safely answers my next question," said Mrs Im, laughing. "Mark finally got some alone time! I'm gonna be a grandma!" she teased.

At that, Mark choked and coughed. She lifted her brows at him, giving him that same smirk that was so reminiscent of her son's smirk. Mark felt himself flushing with embarrassment. He started putting food away, focused and not looking her way. 

"They scarred us, Eomma. They were doing things…"

"Are you twelve, Yoo-ah?" she asked.

"No…"

"Then you should know better than to enter someone's room," chastised Mrs Im, as she closed the containers of food.

"But we could still hear them!" complained the younger man. He stood up pouting, his arms folded. "I will never be able to get that sound out my head again," he said forlornly.

Jaebeom hobbled over and patted his shoulder. "Silver lining - wank bank material."

"Ew no."

"Why 'ew'?" Jaebeom was offended.

Youngjae deadpanned at him. "Do you really want me to be jerking off to the sound of your boyfriend? Or you?"

Jaebeom backtracked. "Probably not."

"Exactly."

"Ahhhh, yeah, let's go into the lounge, shall we?" Mark motioned hurriedly. "Let's go…" He hurried the others to clean up and head into the other room.

//

Adjourning to the lounge, Seokjin, Yoo Youngjae, and the Im parents sat down with he and Jaebeom, and Mark waited impatiently as they settled on their seats before bombarding them with questions.

"So…? What happened? Who were they? What were they doing? How did it go wrong? Did they not see the red light or the crossing signal? How did they miss that?" Mark asked in rapid-fire form, impatience showing in his nervous leg jiggling.

He felt the warm hand on his leg as Jaebeom reached over and placed his palm on Mark's leg, helping Mark to calm himself. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to breathe slowly and calmly.

"It's okay. We were the same when we were talking to the police." The Ims smiled in understanding.

Smiling briefly at him, Mr Im explained, "We have been in many discussions with the police and they investigated the incident. There were plenty of witnesses and many came forward. There are some further follow-ups with some of the witnesses to corroborate some other facts. However, so far, it has been firmly established that the car that hit you was an out of control vehicle. The driver has accepted the blame. There may be a court appointment for him. Our lawyers have been in discussions."

Mark's face was tight, but Seokjin and Yoo Youngjae nodded along, "Yeah, we expected as much. And yeah, that was how we noticed it - it was so out of control," said the older one sagely.

"I mean it was huge - you couldn't miss it. It's a Land Rover after all," butted in Youngjae, "and watching it sway as it headed toward them; it was definitely out of control. I think I heard a bang too?" He looked at Seokjin for confirmation.

"Yeah," nodded Seokjin, "there was a definite bang. It sounded like a tire or a backfire? The police interviewed us too. And actually it was a Range Rover, wasn't it?"

Jaebeom's father nodded, "Yes, you are correct, Jin. As you know the shocks on them can cause that sway or roll. But yes, I believe there was a cause for the bang. Hang on..." He opened the report and read down, "Hmm… okay, witnesses said the car came out of nowhere. It was careening like crazy as if it had been avoiding something and then lost control. And there was a loud bang. The report further says that the right front tire wall burst and that caused a further uncontrollability to the vehicle's handling."

Mark nodded. "That makes sense." His fingers tightened on Jaebeom's. He let them go as he didn't want to scare the other man with how he was feeling. Jaebeom reached over to grab his hand again though, giving him a much-needed smile of understanding. Mark leaned into the younger man's offered warmth and comfort.

"Did they ever find out what happened from the driver?" questioned Jaebeom, Mark settling into his side.

"Yes, the driver was placed under arrest, questioned, and the police did their investigation based on all the witnesses' statements," Papa Im turned the pages of the report, leafing through it. "Aha! Apparently, he had started to slow down but a car pulled out onto the road then stopped. Unfortunately, the car had stopped right in his path. He had had to swerve to avoid hitting the car, but his foot slipped due to the internal roll of the vehicle, causing his foot to slide onto the accelerator and not the brake, then the tire burst, and, well, that was how he hit you and at such speed."

"And they believed that? A car stopped?" scoffed Yoo Youngjae. He let out a snort of derision. Privately, Mark agreed with the younger man, but he didn't let on his thoughts.

Mr Im's eyes were impassive. "Yes. He said the car had pulled out of a car park and he (the driver) had expected it to join the flow of traffic."

Mark wished that older man would show some kind of other emotion, like anger or irritability so he wouldn't feel alone and drowning in his wave of emotions.

Mrs Im asked, "I know I keep asking this… But why did they stop? Was there a reason? Why did it stop there?"

Mr Im shook his head, reaching across and patting her hand. "As the driver of that vehicle was not part of the investigation, we may never know."

"But that's crazy!" she cried angrily. "Why would you pull out of a car park in front of someone and then stop??? Unless you were avoiding a person or an animal, you don't just stop! That's crazy!"

Jaebeom, too, was shaking his head. "No one in their right mind would stop after pulling out unless they had car trouble or saw something - maybe that was why they stopped there?" 

> _I pulled out of my parking space and saw them... It made me stop..._

Mark and Yoo Youngjae were exchanging shocked glances. Mark was asking himself if this was possible. Could it be…? This sounded like …

He didn't want to jump to assumptions.

Seokjin asked, his voice strangled, "Did he take note of the car or the driver of the car that had pulled out?"

Mark's heart was in his throat. He avoided looking at Jaebeom as they waited for the answer.

"Yes, the car was a late model Porsche Cayenne. The driver said something about it was a car he'd liked hence why he'd noticed it. Hang on, it's in the report. We haven't even read it properly. And the driver…" Mark held his breath while Mr Im leafed and found the page and read down it. "... was not clear." Mr Im looked up from the report. "He couldn't remember if it was a guy or a girl or anything. And after the accident, he didn't even think to look for the person. Just that the guy seemed to have pulled out, got distracted by something and stopped, staring at something.

The transcript of the questioning reads: 

> 'Policeman: "What can you tell me of the accident?"  
>  Driver: "I can't say much. It all happened suddenly. (long pause) One minute Min Young and I were talking and then I noticed a car pulling out of a parking spot ahead of me. A Porsche Cayenne - moonlight blue - I'd always wanted one of them which is why I noticed the make, model and colour. God, it was nice. I-I-I thought it was joining the traffic but it stopped suddenly - in the middle of the road. I thought it was going to move and was only focused on that so I noticed the red light too late. B-But the car hadn't moved and it was hit it or swerve and I swerved but I noticed the red light and then the tire on one side blew, and the car lost control and I couldn't turn the wheel, and I tried hitting the brake but my foot slipped! And then I realised i was pressing the accelerator but before i could do anything, I hit...I… god… …(sounds of sobbing) If that car hadn't just stopped right there! Why? Why? Why did he stop? God, all of this could have been prevented if only that stupid car hadn't stopped in the middle of the road."'

Papa Im put down the report. "There is more but not much more detail from the driver."

The other three men's eyes met… Mark knew what Seokjin was thinking too. After all, he'd been the one holding Jinyoung when the younger had said it. He nodded at the other man's questioning look.

Seokjin's voice sounded constricted as he spoke. "At the hospital, Nyeongie said he had stopped to stare at you and Mark, Beommie," SeokJin revealed slowly, his face pale, "Jinyoung drives a late model Porsche Cayenne…in moonlight blue." There was silence after Seokjin's words.

Mark could hear Jinyoung's voice as if it was happening in front of him again.

 

> _Just before the accident. I pulled out of my parking space and saw them at the crossing for the Twosome cafe. It made me stop, Seo-ah." He glanced up at the older before closing his eyes tight as if in pain. "I was so distracted I didn't even see the traffic around me. Just them._

Mark heard the sudden intake of breath that Jaebeom took and the older man felt his heart clench. Then all hell broke loose.

 

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm a little nervous about how this turned out. It's a little clumsy. Sorry for that. The idea for this was written when I wrote chapter 1. So much has happened along the way. By the way, Jinyoung? I'm not sorry.
> 
> Yell at me in the comments if you like. Or DM. Or you know, silently seethe. It's ok. Or you know, go back and read the smut again. It's good for what ails you.


	33. Worlds Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Study the past if you would define the future."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still with me? Some JJP moments in this chapter.

Mark was angry. And it was not a low key kind of angry. It was full blown 'how can the world do this to him' kind of justice-seeking angry.

He had spent time trying to help Jaebeom since meeting him; encouraging him to see the brighter side of life; understanding that whatever Jinyoung thought in order to break up with him that it wasn't Jaebeom's fault, nor was it anything to do with Jaebeom but all to do with Jinyoung and the way his mind worked. But this? How do you fight with this? How do you explain this to your broken boyfriend who had to have an operation to fuse his limbs together; was in a medically induced coma and was already reeling with having to deal with Jinyoung and the lies and the betrayals - that this, the universe planted the proverbial bomb in their world.

"ARGH!" He yelled. "WHY? Why is this happening? Jackson, why???" He gripped his hair tightly, so frustrated with the events unfolding.

The discussions of the police report and discussions thereafter had blown all the tempers in the room. Mrs Im was distraught and angry, Seokjin and Yoo Youngjae were ready to seek and destroy… Mr Im had taken Jaebeom back to their room. Mark - he'd made sure Jaebeom was okay, Mrs Im and the boys were calmer and sitting in the lounge, Mr Im was comfortable about staying with Jaebeom and he'd gone; walked out of his apartment and headed to Jackson's house, texting the Chinese man on the way. Safely ensconced in the makeshift gym room at Jackson's house where it would be harder for him to destroy anything, Mark let loose the story and his temper.

He looked across at the other man seated across from him. "Why are we not catching a break here? When the hell did we walk into some fucking Korean drama? Fuck, Jackson. Maybe I shouldn't have come back for him."

Jackson quickly crossed the room. "Don't be stupid, Mark. This is just a bad set of coincidences."

Mark side eyed him. "What - that Jinyoung caused the accident that almost killed his ex-boyfriend while he was walking with me, his new boyfriend? That kind of coincidence?" He sat back, head against the wall. He stared unseeing at the ceiling. "Why?" he asked softly. "It shouldn't be like this. It should be wine and chocolate and roses and all those frilly things that love's supposed to come with." He turned his head to look at Jackson. "Not drama. Not ex-boyfriends. Not car accidents." He turned back. "Was it a test? To see if I would stick around? Would the world be that cruel?"

"Mark…"

"I lost my parents already to a car accident. Is this karma? For not being there? For not talking to my family enough? Is this what this is?"

Jackson was quiet. Mark closed his eyes, feeling the tears on his lashes. "I wanted someone to love. That was all. Nothing more. Just someone to love who would love me back. I thought maybe, just maybe the world had forgiven me enough for running out on Taecyeon. But maybe this is my karma. Maybe it's not anything to do with Jaebeom and everything to do with me? Jinyoung leaving Jaebeom was the same as me leaving Taecyeon. We left them thinking they'd be better off. Maybe this is what is suppose to happen. Maybe I am being told that I should leave Jaebeom alone. Is that it?"

"Don't be silly, Mark..." Jackson started.

"NO!…" Mark yelled, then softened to a quieter tone. "I'm not being anything, Jackson. I'm being realistic. I'm not a good man. Jaebeom deserves more than a washed up hack."

He leaned back.

Minutes passed. The ticking of the grandfather clock sounded loud in the house. Finally, Mark spoke. "I'll leave him by the end of the week. That way I can make sure the boys are free to look after him."

"Don't be dumb.  You won't leave him. You live and breathe him. So no, you won't be. Jaebeom will kick your ass. So will I. And a bunch of people you call mates. So no - it won't be happening."

Mark kept staring at the ceiling, unseeing and unhearing. 'Love shouldn't be this hard,' he thought. 'Love should be … love.'

 

* * * * *

It is said that you should study the past if you would define the future. It was Confucius who said that. At least, Jaebeom thought it was Confucius. And at the very least, Jaebeom thought that maybe he should examine the past if he wanted a future with Mark. You know, lest he ends his second relationship the same way as he had with Jinyoung. What way was that? Badly. And knowing what he knows now - very badly.

It was raining. He lay on the bed staring at the beads running down the window pane. That damn police report threw light on Jinyoung's comment and now Jaebeom had three irate men upset with his ex-boyfriend. Eomma and Jin and Brain were in the apartment still, but Mark had walked out, full of anger.

He didn't know what to think.

He didn't want to think.

He shook his head and focused his eyes back on the droplets of rain on the glass…

_One…_

_Two._

_Three…_

Counting as the beads ran together and slid down the pane to the bottom, coalescing to a stream that ran off somewhere beyond his line of sight. Much like his past… and his future.

Jinyoung - his past, Mark - his future.

He sighed as he reflected back on that damning police report.

He reflected on his past relationship. _Stupid Jinyoung. Why are you still in my life like this?_

He gave up, trying to scoot down his bed a bit.

_Dammit, Jinyoung._

Thumping the bed angrily, he pulled the sheets further up, annoyed when it pulled past his ankle and his foot was laid out bare. _Humphf_ . He pursed his lips, laying there for a moment thinking about life, loves, and the 'woe is me' and the 'wherefore art thou' …

_What do you want, Jaebeom?_

_What about the past, Jaebeom?_

_What about the future, Jaebeom?_

_Mark?_

_Jinyoung?_

What about them?

Mark. His second relationship in his life. God, even saying that felt heavy. He felt so inexperienced… so green, so _beginner_. His only other comparison for Mark was Jinyoung.

Jinyoung. His first love. Who had apparently been part of why he'd been put into the hospital. Okay okay. He hadn't run him over per se, but he had caused the accident. Could Jaebeom forgive him for that? He had trouble forgiving him for walking out on him; what about actually being part of the cause for his bodily physical harm? He had loved Jinyoung for so long and for all sorts of reasons. And although a part of him hated his lover of over ten years, a larger part of him still loved the stupid bastard who tore his heart apart and who was responsible in part for the large scar that now adorned his leg. His first love.

 _Stupid man._ Jaebeom wasn't sure who he was applying that to.

Was it fair? To compare his first love, his old love, with his new love, his promised future love…?

ARGH

He flailed around for a while before stopping and staring at the ceiling, catching his breath. "Stupid fucking wankery bastards who are too pretty for their own good," he muttered as he tossed the sheet over his head and grumped about stupid Jinyoung and stupid Mark and stupid hearts that fucked with his brain and ...

His father spoke, "Jae-ah?"

Jaebeom stilled. He'd forgotten his dad was in the room. _Whoops_. Slowly, he moved the sheet and peered over the edge of it to see his father's concerned look.

"Hi, Appa," he grinned, sheepishly.

Raised eyebrows greeted his sheepish eyes. His father's tone was a little sarcastic, yet concerned as he spoke. "Oh well, hey there. Er... you having an existential crisis there? Shall I leave you alone with your thoughts?"

 _NO! God, don't leave me alone with these thoughts._ Jaebeom shook his head, eyes still the only thing above the sheet line. "No, no, stay here, Appa. I want you to stay." He felt the hand that patted his leg and felt comforted as he did as a much smaller version of himself.

"Okay, if you're sure." His father's tone was amused as well as skeptical. It was almost like the times when he'd asked about whether Jaebeom was okay after a run-in with Jinyoung during his crush days.

He was grateful for the sheet that hid most of his red face. "Sorry, Appa."

He father gave a small laugh. "It's okay, Jae-ah." His face took on a concerned look. "Do you want to talk about it?"

 _Yep, almost exactly like those days._ His eyes wide, Jaebeom shook his head.

The adrenaline was tamping down after that initial fright of finding out his ex-boyfriend was possibly behind what had caused his accident. It ranked right up there with having his parents and Jinyoung walking into Mark's and his, well… 'making out scene' was the best way he could put it. At the hospital. None of which he wanted to discuss _per se._ He sighed again. He heard the sound of the chair being pulled up and the feel of his father pulling the sheet down firmly so he could see his face.

"Jae-ah. Talk to me. A problem shared is a problem halved - you know this."

"I know," he mumbled.

"Then talk to me."

Yeah okay… um… how to talk about what exactly? How his past and present were colliding like this? Jinyoung was his past. Mark was his present. Jinyoung was his past. Mark was his present. Jinyoung… Mark... God, his brain hurt. He raised his brows cynically at his father. "You want me to talk to you about how I am freaking out that my ex-boyfriend and my current boyfriend are in my life, often the same room, firstly thank to the hospital, and then thanks to our apartment strife, and now, how I am to reconcile what is warring in my heart about how I feel about this… _incident_?"

"Yes," his father replied simply.

"Argh!" the young man growled, trying to hide under the covers again... as if that would fix everything. He knew he was trying to get away from his circular thoughts and it wasn't going to disappear easily. He frowned. He'd never thought that Jinyoung and Mark would have to meet again. And not under these circumstances.

But Jaebeom still had feelings. About  _Jinyoung_. What to do about Jinyoung?

"Do you want me to tell you about how I want to hate Jinyoung and yet, hold dear all my memories of him?" he asked from beneath the covers.

"If it helps, yes."

He took a deep breath. "I-I want to hate him."

"And that is your right."

"Don't you hate him?" he asked his father.

"Look," his father clasped his hand over the sheet, and Jaebeom felt like he was five years old again and his father was explaining how the world worked all over again, "relationships ebb and flow. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. Water and earth work if there is an even amount of earth to water. But if the ratios are uneven, the earth will dry up the water until there is none, or the water will drown the earth and turn it to mud. What happened to you and Jinyoung is unfortunate, but you have both obviously done everything to date to make it work and now it doesn't. And you have moved on with Mark. What is done is done. What made Jinyoung special to your past self is still valid. Your past self will still be in love with past Jinyoung. Even if it is revealed that he caused your accident into being."

"H-he was everything to me, Appa," tears rose unbidden. He was glad he was under the covers so his dad wouldn't see him crying.

His dad obviously knew him better though for his voice was soft and comforting, "And that's okay, Jae-ah. It's okay. Why don't we talk about it so you can lay it to rest?"

"I don't want to, Appa," he pouted, his voice petulant. "I don't want to talk about Jinyoung."

"You sure? You talking about it can make it easier for your heart and mind to file it away so it doesn't shadow your present with Mark."

Jaebeom was quiet. _Stupid fathers and their stupid wisdom._

Jinyoung was his recent bitter past... Even Jaebeom knew he needed time to get over that. And yet, here he was, fresh out of the hospital, having had to be grateful to his ex for his hospital care and for getting his parents there and for all of the surgery and the days after. And now, having to reconcile that the man he loved for ten fucking years was the man who caused him to be in the hospital in the first damn place. Who'd have thought that he'd bring about his own personal dilemma? Jaebeom wasn't sure how he was going to deal with this. He wondered how Mark would deal with this?

At the thought of Mark, Jaebeom's face crinkled up into a crooked smile and his eyes beamed brightly and his face lit up. He silently squeed into his fist at the thought of Mark. Mark - his beautiful, sun-filled, happy present. He couldn't be more grateful to Mark for dragging him out of the dark hole he had crawled into after Jinyoung had left him, and standing him in the light and showed him how beautiful his world was.

(His world. Not Mark's, not Jinyoung's - Jaebeom's. Jaebeom didn't need Mark's world. He hadn't even needed Jinyoung's world. He had needed to find the world according to himself and it was Japan and Mark that had shown him that. And Japan had shown him that he didn't _need_ anybody but that he could have somebody to share it with. And then it gave him that somebody - somebody quiet and passionate - Mark. For that, he was grateful to the Universe.)

His father was right. Jaebeom knew that his father was right. He needed to talk about it because it was his world, his life. He needed to talk about how he had loved Park Jinyoung up until the day he walked out on him, and it needed to be to someone who loved him just as much - Jaebeom's own family.

Jaebeom kept the covers over his head, even as his father held his hand. "Well, it was back at school… it was on the field…"

> **/flashback/**
> 
> _It was him. That guy. His friend. Jaebeom groaned. That friend whom he shouldn't be thinking of in that way._
> 
> _God, how does he do that? Look so gorgeous without any effort? Jaebeom looked at him, drinking in the sight of one Park Jinyoung with his hair all pushed up off his forehead…_
> 
> _Why must that forehead see the light of day? It was like a beacon for his eyes and then below that were those eyes that crinkled up in the corner like cat's whiskers when he smiled or laughed, then below that that cute little nose, and below that those beautiful full perfect pouty plump lips that make Jaebeom want to kiss them, to press his lips again them._
> 
> _He gripped his hair tightly and screamed silently in his head. Why was Park Jinyoung so damn perfect?_
> 
> _"Jaebeom-ah?"_
> 
> _He looked up and saw Jinyoung's face looking at him with anxious eyes. He was beautiful when he was concerned._
> 
> _"Jaebeom-ah?"_
> 
> _"Ah, Jinyoungie. I'm fine. Just… ahh… don't worry. I'm fine."_
> 
> _The younger boys sat back on his heels. "Are you sure?"_
> 
> _"Yes." He breathed out, then in, then out, concentrating on breathing as Jinyoung didn't move away and he was in arm's reach of Jaebeom who wanted to just grab him and hold him and crush his lips to those pursed pink lips._
> 
> _Jinyoung was so close he could smell the sweet scent of his shampoo and was that his cologne? God did he wear cologne? It better not be Jinyoung's natural scent because if it was, Jaebeom would just die because that was so heady and intoxicating… his thoughts stopped because anything more would be just criminal right now since he'd sport a boner in the middle of the sports field._
> 
> _He stood up, brushed off the back of his pants and waved goodbye, walking off._
> 
> _Keep walking._
> 
> _'Keep walking, keep walking,' he chanted to himself, hoping that Jinyoung wasn't watching him walk away. He turned his head in what he hoped was a non-apparent look back, and, holy shit, he was watching him, and Jaebeom felt his ass cheeks tighten with a jerk and he cursed._
> 
> _He looked back again but he tripped over his feet however caught himself._
> 
> _He stood straight._
> 
> _Shit._
> 
> _Jaebeom whipped his head around and yep... Park Jinyoung was still crouching on the grassy field, looking at him but now with that shit eating grin._
> 
> _Jaebeom feebly waved and continued walking away. He'd fallen for his friend - the school's heartthrob. He was fucked._
> 
> _/ end flashback /_

"So what happened? Did he come after you?" asked his father. Jaebeom wrinkled his nose and made a face.

"No. He let me walk away. I found out later that he'd wanted to come after me but thought I would think it was weird."

His father laughed. "I knew you'd fallen for him but how long did it take before you both owned up to liking each other?" Papa Im questioned.

Under the sheet, Jaebeom sighed. It seemed so long ago.  "Awhile, Appa. A long while."

> **/ flashback 2 /**
> 
> _"Jaebeom!" Jinyoung's voice called out to Jaebeom._
> 
> _Jinyoung? Jaebeom's heart fluttered again with hope. He got annoyed with himself. 'Stop it Jaebeom. It's been four long months. Jinyoung just wants to hang with you. Not date you, stupid.' he panicked as he saw Jinyoung cutting across the yard toward him. Run, idiot! "No, it's too late!"_
> 
> _"Wait! What? No it's not!"_
> 
> _Jaebeom felt the hand that grabbed him and swung him around to face the ever so stunning visage of Park Jinyoung. Dammit._
> 
> _Jinyoung panted, "Beommie! What is going on with you? You won't return my calls, you won't hang out with me, you won't even walk with me to class anymore. And now I've come to find you you say it's too late? For what? Class doesn't start for like an hour..."_
> 
> _Jaebeom looked at him. He eyed that beautiful face with the windswept hair, those classic eyes and those pouty plump lips that begged to be kissed. He swallowed as he took in the earnest expression, the uncertainty in those eyes, and softly, he found himself announcing, "I like you okay? I like you." He walked forward as Jinyoung stepped back. "I.Like.You. End of. And you don't like me like that. But know that I like you like that."_
> 
> _Jinyoung laughed shakily, "What is wrong with you? I like you! I hang out with you all the time!"_
> 
> _Jaebeom smiled somewhat sadly, "You like boys like Minhyuk, Taemin, and Chanyeol," he said in an almost whisper. "I don't come anywhere near on their level."_
> 
> _Jinyoung looked at him. Jaebeom could sense the confusion, the younger boy's eyes frantically searching his. "Jaebeom…"_
> 
> _He grimaced. Enough. He'd pined enough. Today he was giving up. He gave a small nod. "It's enough now." He turned away. Jaebeom felt the hand that once again caught his arm and he turned at the urgent pull. He sighed as he looked back at Jinyoung's upset face._
> 
> _Those eyes searched his. "Beommie…I like you. You know that," urged Jinyoung._
> 
> _"Not like you like them!" Jaebeom cried out in frustration, startling both himself and the object of his affection. He found himself yelling, "Argh! Why, Jinyoung, why? Why why why? Why won't you just fucking like me like I like you?!"_
> 
> _"Oh." Jinyoung's eyes dropped and something in Jaebeom's heart broke a little bit._
> 
> _"'Oh'? Is that all I get? 'Oh'? Come on, Jinyoung, where are all those eloquent words that you're so proudly spouting all the damn time, huh?!"_
> 
> _Jinyoung just stared at the ground as Jaebeom stood there, his chis chest heaving from his outburst. What did it matter anyway? Jinyoung was never going to say what he wanted to hear. But like a supreme idiot, he stood there and waited; waiting for Jinyoung to say the words that would finally break his heart fully. Seconds ticked by, maybe even minutes. It all seemed like a terribly long time to Jaebeom as he stood there with his heart beating erratically in anticipation, teeth gnawing at his lower lip, one hand shoved deep into his pocket, fingers anxiously playing with the lint at the the bottom._
> 
> _Finally Jinyoung lifted his head and looked at him. Jaebeom's heart stopped. He held his breath at the disaster that was about to strike him. But Jinyoung surprised the fuck out of him._
> 
> _"Motherfucker!" Jinyoung burst out. "There! How's that for an eloquent word, huh?" huffed Jinyoung, before a smirk appeared on his face, and the boy was stepping toward him._
> 
> _Jaebeom stumbled backward in confusion away from Jinyoung walking steadily toward him. He felt like he was being stalked. What was wrong with Jinyoung?_
> 
> _Jinyoung stopped in front of him. "Im Jaebeom, I like you too," the younger boys stated firmly._
> 
> _Jaebeom stared at him, stunned. Jaebeom's mind went blank. "What?" he croaked._
> 
> _Jinyoung's pretty lips grew into an even wider smirk. "I.Like.You."_
> 
> _And it was then, while he was absorbing that fact while staring at Jinyoung's mouth, that Jaebeom finally felt the softness of Jinyoung's full lips on his and the press of his chest against his own. And then it was a swipe of the boy's tongue along his lip that made him draw a breath and part his lips… that confident and cheeky boy took that invitation seriously and slipped his tongue into Jaebeom's mouth and Jaebeom felt his entire mind explode as he finally tasted Jinyoung. His mind caught up and firmly he wrapped his arms around the younger boy pulling him in as he responded to that kiss, deepening it more._
> 
> _Jinyoungie…_
> 
> _He liked him._
> 
> _Jaebeom's heart thumped against his chest, his arms full of the boy he had crushed on and finally gotten…_
> 
> / end flashback /

Jaebeom heard his father snort. "If I was your eomma, I would say something like aww…. But since I'm not, I won't."

Jaebeom pulled the sheet down and glared at his dad. "Gee, thanks Appa."

"You're welcome," quipped his father. He leaned back and stared at Jaebeom until Jaebeom felt the need to squirm. What was his father thinking?

"Are you uncomfortable, Appa?"

"What? No," Jaebeom was happy when his father shook his head. His father said, "I was thinking about how you must have felt. You never told me a lot of this. And you didn't come out to us until later. You were already with Jinyoungie."

Jaebeom thought back and nodded his head, "Yeah, I guess that's true. When we told you and the Parks, we'd been together for a little while so it never really occurred to me to share with you or Eomma how we got together."

His father hummed before saying, "Well… so far, it's all about Jinyoung and how it was good to finally confess. What about when you got older, when it wasn't so new and so … pretty? And things got more adult-like?"

He laughed at his father's pained look, obviously anticipating some X-rated material that might be shared.

"Don't be awkward, Appa," chided Jaebeom, laughing. "I'm not going to tell you anything weird!" They both laughed, his father obviously relieved. Jaebeom smiled at him, "It was still good after we got together, obviously.

School was easier because I wasn't trying to avoid him any longer. And when we went to university, it was nice to be together. And you know, we were so excited to get into our jobs and get our place together."

Jaebeom smiled, wistfully thinking back to those more carefree days when they had to worry about passing exams and whether to hang out with friends and drink or stay home and watch movies. It was far different from working and paying off a mortgage and their parents.

He looked at his father with a serious face. "I think we were so happy that we had worked hard to buy an apartment and to have good jobs. And we had worked so hard to pay you guys off for your contribution to our home. I look back and think about how happy we were… we were so relieved to have been able to pay you and the Parks back the money you'd given us to get us into our home. It will never be stated enough how grateful I am for what you did."

His father smiled, pride on his face and Jaebeom felt his chest swell at his father's following words. "We were so happy to see you so happy that you could give us our money. We were so proud of you." Jaebeom gave an embarrassed grin, his cheeks flushing. His father continued, "I hope you boys took pride in the effort you made to give us our money back. It took a lot of effort on your part. I know we celebrated it with you, but did you two celebrate your efforts?"

Jaebeom knew his cheeks flushed more as he thought back to his and Jinyoung's celebration after the parents left… probably not something he should share with his dad. 

> **/flashback 3/**
> 
> _"Bye! Thank you! See you later!"_
> 
> _They had finally finished waving and seeing both sets of parents off and then they were alone. Jaebeom wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and stared at his house - no -_ their _house._
> 
> _"It's ours, Jaebeom. It's finally ours."_
> 
> _He felt the contentedness leaking out of his normally not so emotionally free boyfriend as he leaned his head on his shoulder._
> 
> _"We did it, Jinyoung. We finally did it."_
> 
> _It had been a hard slog and some ridiculous amount of work as he and Jinyoung had fought to pay off their parents for their contribution to their apartment, but they had finally achieved it - financially not obligated to their parents for their house._
> 
> _He squeezed his partner in crime, his partner in life, his partner in love._
> 
> _Jinyoung._
> 
> _His Park Jinyoung._
> 
> _Jaebeom knew he had never felt happier than this moment. Except maybe perhaps when Jinyoung had first come out to him and confessed that he'd like him - maybe then he'd been happier than this moment._
> 
> _He grinned._
> 
> _"What are you so happy about?"_
> 
> _"You," he answered simply. "Just you."_
> 
> _He heard that quick intake of breath. "You always take me by surprise, Jaebeom," murmured Jinyoung as he turned in the circle of his arms._
> 
> _"Why? Because I tell you by how smitten I am by you?"_
> 
> _"Yes, that, and how you are still like that even now."_
> 
> _He pressed his lips against his neck. It felt warm and inviting, the scent of Jinyoung rising and filling his nose._
> 
> _He felt his pulse quicken as those full pink lips pressed warmly against his neck, pressing small kisses against his skin. He groaned as that tongue came out to lick at his quickly warming skin. It was always zero to sixty with Jinyoung._
> 
> _"Jinyoung," his voice came out thickly._
> 
> _"Jaebeom...," the boy at his side teased as he pressed his lips to that sensitive spot beneath his ear._
> 
> _Jaebeom groaned. He knew that Jinyoung knew that he was sensitive there. "You know that spot gets me."_
> 
> _"I know…" that little kitten lick again and Jaebeom felt that moan rising in his chest. "That's why I'm doing it."_
> 
> _A moan escaped. He whispered huskily, "You're evil."_
> 
> _"Yes." Jinyoung's warm mouth suckled on his skin and Jaebeom felt his blood rising._
> 
> _Weakly, he tried to push on the other boy's chest. "We need to clean up."_
> 
> _"I'll do it after. Let us just enjoy our house."_
> 
> _He looked at his boyfriend with a rise of his brow. "Oh yeah? How do you propose with do that?"_
> 
> _"By kissing you here…" kiss "and here…" kiss "and oooh, right here..." Jinyoung's lips pressed firmly against his._
> 
> _His blood was inflamed at the thought of having Jinyoung everywhere._
> 
> _"Come on, Jaebeom, let's start with this wall…"_
> 
> _Jaebeom's laugh soon turned into a moan as Jinyoung plastered him against the wall and mouthed his neck. God this man would be the death of him…_
> 
> / end flashback /

"I was proud of you boys for paying us all off. You did that very well."

Jaebeom brought his mind back. "Thanks, Appa."

"I feel like there is stuff unsaid …"

"Yeah…" He rubbed the back of his nape, face flaming. "No, you don't need to know how we celebrated."

"Oh." His father's face turned red too and he looked away, awkwardness in his frame.

Obviously, Jaebeom had had to edit that to his father. He might have told his mother about that particular incident had his mother been present, but she wasn't so he hadn't. Jaebeom laughed to himself. He got it. It was different talking with his eomma. His father - er, probably not so much. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk about stuff with his father, but it was that he didn't want to be uncomfortable about discussing gay sex with his father. Not the finer details anyway. There was no need to share the intimacies of fucking his ex-boyfriend with his father - even if his father had fully supported the whole 'hey appa, I'm gay' thing, he was pretty sure that he didn't need to voice the actual details to his father.

But…

Talking about Jinyoung like this made Jaebeom realise how much he had truly loved the boy and eventually, the man.

Jaebeom forced himself to look at it all, in a way he hadn't before.

He and Jinyoung - they had gone through so much of their growing up life together. The awkwardness, the gangly, the nervousness at the precipice of adulthood, and the confusing and indecisive moments of deciding their future when nothing present had ever been guaranteed. But they had grown together, grown up together, and he knew that they had both gained courage and confidence, especially himself.

So different from when they had got together and how unconfident he had been. God how awkward had he been at sixteen? Twenty? Twenty-five? Jinyoung had seen all of that. And had stayed with him. For that, he was thankful.

Jinyoung had been his first love. He had been the one who had introduced him to the concept of love, of what love meant, of how relationships could be, and of what compromises were made of. They taught each other about companionship.

They also taught each other about how much pain you can deliver in order to hurt someone you love.

He paused for a moment as his heart clenched at the hurtful and painful memories; not just of Jinyoung hurting him, but of his own part in the pain he himself caused; words he'd thrown out of pettiness or spite or in retaliation; the silence after arguments. He was no angel himself. It takes two, after all, to make a relationship work. And to make it disintegrate.

"Are you okay?" His father's voice broke him out of his thoughts.

Jaebeom nodded, swallowing. He mused out loud, "Isn't it funny how life just happens to pull shit on you? I mean it was Jinyoung, wasn't it? It was all him. It was him - coming out of his car park space and stopping to stare at Mark and myself that caused the accident - my accident. That's why he was so good to me, wasn't it? It's why he kept coming back to the hospital - it was just to keep up appearances; he did it because he felt guilty."

His father's eyes were imperceptible as Jaebeom looked at him. Jaebeom sighed heavily. How was he supposed to handle this? How was he going to handle Mark? Mark was angry - beyond angry. Seokjin, Youngjae - both were angry as hell. And could he blame them? No. He too was angry, but at the same time, he felt pity.

Pity for his ex who must have been consumed by guilt.

_Jinyoung._

In all honesty, Jaebeom was ready to end everything fully with Jinyoung. Ten years, two weeks, four hours and was it really fifty-two minutes was all that marked the end of what had been their lives entwined together.

No, Jaebeom was done with the hurt, the angst, the anxiety and the stress that was Park Jinyoung. Financial was only a formality to what had already been ended long ago.

He had been hurt by Jinyoung leaving him, ending everything that had been good, bad, and other. Finding out that in a strange round of events that Jinyoung has also caused him physical hurt - it wasn't that much of a leap in reality.

Because in truth, he'd been hurt well and truly before then.

The grief with every argument, the hurt after each barbed comment, the tears that had been kept inside, even the realisation that everything that Jaebeom loved Jinyoung had slowly ended until there was no enjoyment in the thing left - Jaebeom was empty and tired of all things that were his previous relationship.

Numbers, money, shares, and property… all material items that Jaebeom would and could happily walk away from if need be. He knew that his parents would make him take his share and in the end, he knew that he would be grateful for them forcing him to take that share. There would be no ongoing resentment, therefore no ongoing feeling and Jaebeom would be able to let go entirely and fully and without hate. He would just need to make sure that Jinyoung was compensated for whatever costs the man had incurred during Jaebeom's stay in hospital.

Jinyoung. His past. The boy had grown up to be a man. They had both grown up to be men. Jaebeom realised this with painful clarity. Heartbreak had been the final lesson in his and Jinyoung's story.

He closed his eyes, recalling some of their more better days. He had to; because he couldn't keep crawling through the mire that were the worse days. He couldn't have ten years of pain to look back on. Jaebeom needed to know; to see that he'd also had ten years of happiness.

He opened his eyes, staring unseeing ahead of him. It would be hard to forgive Jinyoung for this incident, even if it was inadvertent. Jaebeom sighed. He would, though. He would forgive him. Even if Jinyoung never asked for it. But he knew he would never forget. One more nail in the coffin labelled heartbreak. But he would let it go. Think it over, think about it, let it go. End of.

He felt the bed dip as his father sat down. The older man sat close on the bed, and draped an arm over his shoulders and giving him a squeeze while holding him close to his chest. It made Jaebeom feel good about his thoughts. He put aside his thoughts of Jinyoung.

_No more, Jinyoung. No more._

"Hi, Appa…" murmured Jaebeom. He didn't actually want anything, he just wanted to be able to say it.

He leaned against the man who had held him through all his mishaps over the years, had held him through the tears, and had taught him how to deal with his wonderful but temperamental mother - which in hindsight had been great lessons in how to deal with Jinyoung.

God, what this man must have gone through while he was in his coma. He felt more than a bit guilty for putting his father through that.

He felt the familiar strong hand card through his hair and soothe his back and he was back to being … a son. "Appa…" he sighed, content.

They sat like that for a few minutes. Then his father's voice rumbled above his head.

"Jaebeom-ah, is Mark everything you want?"

The question was asked softly as if they were just whiling away time. No pressure. No angst. Just a conversation between father and son.

Jaebeom smiled a soft smile, breathing in his father's scent and leaning in close. He leaned his head and thought for a moment then decided to be honest. "I don't know, Appa. It is still so new for us. I want to say yes but I cannot answer it properly."

"You thought Jinyoung was everything you wanted, once."

Jaebeom thought about that. That was true. "Yes. That much is true. I thought he was everything and I did want Jinyoung but what I wanted, I got. And at that time, he was everything. Like everything. But we aren't those kids anymore and Jinyoung doesn't give me what I want anymore and I don't think I fulfill what he needed anymore either. I think Jinyoung is glad that he isn't sticking around."

He felt his father nod and hummed, his father's chest vibrating beneath his cheek. "Didn't you want a family with him though?"

Jaebeom stayed against his father's chest, smoothing his fingers across the material absently as his thoughts wandered. "Yes. But Appa, Jinyoungie never wanted a family."

"He didn't?" His Appa's voice rumbled against his cheek, surprise evident in its timbre.

Jaebeom gave a little huffing laugh. "Have you never seen him with children? They like him and he finds them fascinating like a child finds a worm in a puddle fascinating, but then the kid decides to either stomp on the worm or pick it up and pull it apart. Then the kid cries when they realise they killed it. That kid is Jinyoungie. With children. He's good for a while then he wants to torment them and see if they cry when he pinches them or takes something away from them."

"That sounds… interesting." Papa Im's voice sounded strangled.

"Nyeongie's nurturing traits are there, Appa. They are far outweighed by his current selfish and somewhat narcissistic tendencies."

"Why did you stay with him?"

 _Because I loved him despite all of those. And I thought I could change him._ "Because I loved him even with all of those. And I thought I could change him."

"That doesn't sound balanced nor healthy."

Jaebeom chose his words carefully. "It's not… ideal. But he could be so special when he wanted to and those moments seemed amazing." He looked at his father. "Don't mistake his negative traits as a sign he didn't love me. He loved me the best way he knew how. After all, he left when he couldn't give me what I wanted."

"How do you know?"

He leaned his head back on his father's chest, listening to his heartbeat as he used to when he was a kid. It was comforting. He hummed in in satisfaction.

While he silently counted the heartbeats, Jaebeom explained to his father, "I've had time to think about it - while I've been in this bed. I felt the urge again to think about a family - about the possibility of a family. And while I was missing Mark I was thinking about what it would be like if he came in and declared his love for me and said that he wanted to marry me and start a family… And I realised that yes, I wanted that. And I also realised that Nyeongie couldn't ever give me that and we'd even been talking about it at the time, and had even seen an agency about adoption and fostering, and we'd explored surrogacy." He sat up and looked his father in the eye. "But all of that happened right before he up and left. It took me a long while to realise that _that_ was the most likely reason. And not because he was sleeping with someone else, or because he was being callous toward my feeling. It was, if anything, the most unselfish thing I have ever known Park Jinyoung to do."

His father's eyes were contemplative as they stared at him. Jaebeom hoped that he had been able to express what his thoughts were clear enough for his father to understand. The Park and Im families were so closely intertwined from their connection that it would be hard to untwine them easily and Jaebeom hoped that his explanation would mean less division between the Im and Park parents, thereby making it easier for them to sort out what they wished to do with their future lives.

His father looked away for a moment before turning back to him, a frown on his face. "You were going to start a family? Was that wise knowing what you knew of Jinyoung?"

"Appa…"

His father sighed. "It wouldn't have mattered either way to us, son. We would have loved you all and especially the babies you blessed us with. I don't suppose you'd be venturing that way with Mark now, would you?"

Jaebeom slapped his father across the arm. "Hey, it's still early. Do you want to scare away my boyfriend by talking about children and family holidays???"

"Ahhh… so that's how you do it. I should have tried that with Jinyoungie all those years ago."

"You loved him."

"Not as much as you loved him."

"Did you not like him?"

"I liked him as long as he made you happy. When you kept turning up to our house a lot more often, I guessed he wasn't making you as happy anymore. Are you happy now? With Mark?"

Jaebeom stared in surprise at his Appa-nim who he had thought had been blind to all things in his relationship with Jinyoung.

Jaebeom sucked in a breath. Had his father been unhappy about Jinyoung? He guessed he'd never thought about what his parents might think of them - Jaebeom/Jinyoung. He'd just assumed that they'd be happy as long as he showed a happy front. Was he wrong? He nodded, his eyes wide, biting his lip in consternation.

His father stared at him for a moment before speaking lightly, "Dammit, and here I thought you'd go into monkhood and eternal servitude in a temple. Now you have another relationship with possible grandchildren in the future thereby making me a grandfather with children that might be just like you. Give me strength. You made me age years. Years, I tell you." The older man pulled Jaebeom into his chest once more, his lips brushing his hair fondly. Jaebeom could feel the love despite the gruffness of the voice, "You're determined to make me old, son."

He smiled at the implied approval. "You'll never grow old to me, Appa." He teased, "You were already old when I was young."

He felt the resulting tickle was a small price to pay for the happiness of his Appa's face. _Saranghae, Appa._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww... that was a lovely father/son moment. 
> 
> Did anyone else get JJP feels? I hope I did that justice. I wasn't sure how that would work but I hope I showed how lovely and in love they were.


	34. Closing Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Jaebeom are moving on after the accident report - is it together or are they choosing different paths. Where does this leave things with Jinyoung?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go... It's a mammoth chapter. I couldn't find a place I wanted to split it at, so here it is in its entirety! It does contain smut. it wouldn't be me without some.

* * *

_“_ _Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end._ _”_

_― Closing Time, Semisonic_

* * * * *

/Flashback to Mark's arrival back in Seoul/

**__Mark:  
_ _ __Hey. So your note said 'Come and get it.' And you left me this little thing called an address in Seoul. So here I am. In Seoul. Call me an idiot. Call me a fool. Just as long as you call me. Mark._ _ **

_Mark banged his head on the dining table. Dumb! Dumb dumb dumb. He shouldn't have left it this long to make contact. The message seemed to mock him as it sat unread and unanswered._

_Aggravated, he leaned back in the chair, flicking a wad of paper across the table as he thought about what he should have done. What he should have done was to contact Jaebeom after the younger man had left that photo and message and said something like, um, oh, what the hell - 'hey thanks for the fucking picture that had me wanking for four straight nights in a row.'_

_He sighed, huffing out a breath and making a face._

_Yeah, that wouldn't have come across as desperate or love-starved, right? Creepy? Stalkery? Yes. Hey-I-love-you-and-missed-you? No. Well, maybe, but in a creepy 'Misery' kind of way and Mark didn't think Jaebeom would have liked that._

_Okay, so messaging probably wouldn't have achieved much but probably better than what he had done. What did Mark do instead? Oh, he just fucking listened to the stupid wanking fucking devil on his shoulder that assured him that the man in question may have feelings for him and that he'd totally understand why Mark had to finish the contract work before running after him. Sure - that was a fucking great idea._

_He leaned his head back to stare blankly at the ceiling, all the while calling himself names._

_Dumbass._

_Dumb._

_Really dumb._

_Like stupidity on the grandest scale._

_Okay, granted, he wasn't sure what the reception would be after not contacting the man straightaway in the week they had been apart. He hadn't thought that Jaebeom would freeze him out but as he hadn't heard from the younger man and it had been a number of hours so of course, he was doing the next logical thing - panicking._

_Honestly, if it had been him in Jaebeom's shoes and he hadn't heard from the other man, Mark would have chalked it up to 'oh well too bad, the other guy's loss for not chasing him' and moved on._

_He wasn't sure what Jaebeom would do._

_He'd like to think that the younger man would have been happy to receive a message from Mark._

_But then again, maybe he would be just like Mark - and any other sane man for that matter - and gone, 'pfft, who does this dude think he is?'_

_Groaning, he put his head in his hands, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. God, he himself wouldn't have answered after a week of no contact and here Mark was, expecting the message from Jaebeom almost immediately and yet, Mark hadn't even sent him a single message in the past week. Dumb, dumb, dumb._

_Mark couldn't help but wonder if he had done the right thing in texting Jaebeom - he should have called him. Wouldn't that have looked desperate? Or booty call-ish? He grimaced. He gripped the phone tightly, wondering if Jaebeom was doing this on purpose. The panic was on the rise._

_What was the man doing?_  
_Why wasn't he answering?_ _  
_ God, would it kill the man to send him an answer - even if it was only one word?

_Gah._

_He was dying here and the man in question was probably smirking that damnable sexy smirk of his reading Mark's message._

_Had he seen it on his lock screen and swiped it away, hoping that Mark would get the message and not message him again?_

_Or maybe he was smirking at some other man? Oh my god, what if he had found another man? Shit._

_He resisted throwing his phone, reminding himself that he would need his phone as Jaebeom would be texting him soon._

_He took a deep breath. Nope, not helping. He knocked his head quietly against the table as he tried to stop the annoyingly aggravating thoughts that circled in his head -_

_'Does Jaebeom still like me?_  
_Does Jaebeom miss me like I miss him?_ _  
_ Does Jaebeom want me like I want him?'

_God, he sounded like a whiny little bitch. Mark banged his head repeatedly while silently chastising himself again. "Get over yourself, Tuan!" he growled, scowling at his stupidity._

_"Markie, stop that." He stopped and lifted his head at Jackson's voice, eyes tight with barely concealed anxiety. Bambam stood with Jackson, looking at him in concern. He couldn't blame them; he must look so pathetic._

_"I … Jackson, why won't he answer?" Mark croaked, feeling somewhat pathetic at the way he acting, but he couldn't help it. Jackson's face showed his empathy at the older man's dilemma with a warm smile and a crook of his finger. Mark gave him a wry smile in return and forced himself to get out of his chair. He headed out to the kitchen with Jackson and Bambam, slippered feet shuffling along behind the two. His head bowed, he figured that he must look like a hot mess right now._

_"Hey, you have to eat," Jackson said, firmly shovelling food onto a plate for Mark. Mark nodded glumly. He grabbed the plate and starting moving the food around._

_He was thinking more about Jaebeom than he was about food. Damn, that man - why wasn't he answering?_

_"Stop it."_

_His eyes shot up and met the youngest's scowl._

_"But Bammie..." he heard the whine in his voice and hated himself for it. Mark groaned and looked up at the ceiling. God, when had he turned into some fucking whiny as fucking ass? "Is this what love does? Maybe I should forget trying to be in love? Oh wait - it doesn't work like that." He looked down and glared hard at his silent phone. "Argh. Why is he torturing me like this? Jaebeom, answer your fucking messages!"_

_He thought about why he sent that message in the first place - Mark supposed that it had started off as a sort of challenge. He had wanted to keep Jaebeom on his toes. The trouble was, Mark wasn't sure if it kept Jaebeom on his toes or if it kept Mark on his. Wait, he knew the answer - Mark knew that he had been on tenterhooks ever since he had sent the text to the younger man. So um, yeah, so the man on his toes would be Mark. In hindsight, it was probably a bit of a dumbass move to make when the other person didn't know it was a challenge, really._

_"He'll answer when he is ready, hyung." Bambam reassured him, reaching over and patting him on the shoulder._

_"When is that going to be?"_

_Jackson exploded, "Oh my god, you are such a whiny as bitch. What the fuck happened to the suave, happy-go-lucky dude who would just take men and leave them strewn behind him?"_

_Mark turned a puzzled face to Jackson, "When did I ever do that?"_

_He waited as Jackson stopped and thought for a moment. Jackson got that lightbulb moment look on his face, "Oh wait, maybe that was me…" Mark snorted - of course, it was. Jackson waved a dismissive hand. "Well, what happened to the dude who was_ **_not_ ** _a whiny as bitch, huh?"_

_"Shut up." Mark scowled hard, pushing at the food on his plate._

_"Grown up as reply, Markie. What are you teaching young Bammie here, huh?"_

_Bambam rolled his eyes at them. "Young Bammie here is getting laid which is more than I can say for either of you, hyungs."_

_Jackson made as if he was going to throw something at him. "Hey! Rudeness! Disrespect! What the actual fuck?"_

_Mark pouted. "Well, I'd get laid again if Jaebeom would answer his fucking message."_

_Jackson snorted, "Sure you would. I mean, hey, I'd let someone stick their dick into me after not talking to them for a week after mind-altering sexcapades."_

_"You said he'd answer!" accused Mark, throwing his chopsticks at Jackson._

_Jackson ducked. "I said he'd_ **_probably_ ** _answer!"_

_"You have to admit," Bambam said with an apologetic tone, "- you left him hanging for a week without a word. I'd have given up. Or gone into the many stages of grief, anger, depression, anger, fucked off and hurt."_

_Bambam had a point. A shiver went through Mark at the thought that maybe he'd read it wrong. Maybe Jaebeom had left him that message and was regretting it and hadn't wanted Mark to chase after him? He voiced that to the guys._

_But both Bambam and Jackson had reassured him that his man would reply._

_The phone rang in his hand…_

_Mark froze and stared at it._

_"Answer it!!!"_

_He put the phone up to his ear, "Hello?" The disappointment and the relief when he heard Youngjae's voice, "Hey, sorry, Youngjae. Yeah, I'm back in Seoul. No, I'm fine... Yes, I will think about hitting up Mr Hottie. No, I haven't talked to him yet... Yes, I messaged him already. No, I am hopeful that he will answer. Okay. I will. See ya." He hung up. He looked at Bambam and Jackson and stamped his feet. "What am I doing? Why am I being this pathetic, huh? I wouldn't do this for anyone else. Why is he so goddamn special? Fuck, I didn't even do this for Taec!" He looked over at his friends. "Why am I being like this??? I'm an embarrassment to humankind!"_

_"Dude, you are so whipped. I can't wait to meet this guy."_

_He wouldn't blame Jaebeom if Jaebeom had decided to give up on Mark and moved on. Silence after a photo and note like that -- what else would you think? Dumb, Mark, dumb._

_The boys tried to keep his spirits up, but Mark was still worried that he'd totally ballsed it up. Did Jaebeom not want anything more, after all? Wait, no he'd left that message, hadn't he? But what if he had changed his mind after he had got home? Maybe Mark wasn't as appealing now?_

_Mark's thoughts were circular as they drank soju and beer and ate pizza. Where was he? Why hasn't he answered? Has he seen it? Why hasn't he messaged back?_

_Bambam forcefully said, "Mark, stop thinking so much! He will return your message. He probably just hasn't seen it - he was probably out with his friends before you arrived at the airport. He just probably hasn't checked his messages."_

_"What if he has?! What then?! What if he has decided that me-Mark is not worth the time and day and the hassle because I didn't send a message or call him after he left, huh? And after leaving me that photo too? I mean - oh God!" Mark punched a cushion into the air. "I'm an idiot!!!"_

_In all honesty, if Mark was completely honest, he was a lot scared to think that he may have lost his chance._

_But he wasn't completely honest with himself so… he had started drinking heavily to take his concern away. And it was with all these thoughts swirling and mixing in his head that Mark had huffed and puffed his way through the many shots of soju, bottles of beer and glasses of whiskey. And told the world at large aka everyone in the room - Jackson and Bambam - that he was so done with Jaebeom._

_"I don't blame him really," he drunkenly waved his beer around later that night, "I mean I didn't even send him a message, let alone call him. And we'd had some rip-roaring fucking good sex too. Fuck. I'm fucking stupid."_

_"It's okay, hyung. You have plenty of other fish in the sea," consoled Bambam. Jackson hit him and made the Thai boy wince. Bambam defended his comment, "Hey, he does have options, you know. So Youngjae is out of the picture, but look at how well he responded before Mark disappeared to Japan. This man is a highly sought after commodity - we just need to find him thirsty ho boys like Youngjae."_

_Jackson conceded, "I think you're right. Mark's a ho bag attractor."_

_"Hey!"_

_"Well you are, aren't you?"_

_Mark thought about it for a moment, "No, I'm a ho bag for one man and one man only."_

_"He must be special," muttered Jackson, exchanging a glance with Bambam that Mark caught._

_"He is," nodded Mark. "Im Jaebeom is special."_

_"Jaebeom? Not the Im Jaebeom?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Oh my god, Mark! Why didn't you tell me this earlier???" Bambam scrambled up from his prone position on the couch. "Yugyeom is with him right now!"_

_"What??" both Mark and Jackson exclaimed._

_Bambam waved his hands excitedly. "Yugy is with Jaebeom hyung and his friends because the man has been back a week and hiding out in his apartment. Holy shit! You fucked JB! Shit!" Bambam palmed his mouth, his eyes wide. "Shit. You're his rebound man," he breathed._

_"What???" Jackson screamed in excitement._

_"JB came back from Japan… shit, I hadn't made the connection. Oh holy fucking hell, you're the guy who made JB smile again. And gave him the best sex he'd ever had. Yugyeom texted me about how the smile on JB never left his face when he talked about his holiday man. That's you! You - Mark! You! Oh shit, you the rebound guy after Jinyoung! Damn."_

_Mark made a face. "Yeah, I suspected as much. He's only recently broken up with his ex, right?"_

_"Yeah. I'm sorry, hyung. Man, that sucks. You're the rebound guy. Shit. Sorry, man."_

_Mark hung his head. "It's okay. I knew it was too good to be true. Holiday romance and all that." The stupid idiot hasn't replied; Mark was a nervous wreck; and while Yugyeom was in the "Jaebeom camp" so to speak, it didn't seem that Bambam was having any luck finding out anything from his boyfriend. But then again, what was the point of having said boyfriend infiltrate the camp when said boyfriend didn't even know what was going on? Bambam didn't want Yugyeom to know that they were using him for info. Duh. Mark was ready to march over to Jaebeom's house and find out why the man hadn't answered his message already. Instead, he got steadily drunker._

_The following morning Mark received an answer._

**_Jaebeom:_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Hey. Where are you?_ **

_In hindsight, perhaps it hadn't been the best idea to get overly drunk after sending a text to the guy you are interested in, but at least he had not decided to send Jaebeom drunk texts. Oh, wait, no, he had wanted to, but Bambam had confiscated his phone. Mark had pointedly ignored the younger man all night. Hard to do when there are only three of you to start with. The younger man only gave the phone back that morning when Yugyeom had turned up._

_They had woken to Yugyeom's knock on the door after Bambam had whined to his boyfriend that he wasn't there for post-drinking cuddles, so hence, Yugyeom turning up at the door early that morning. Yugyeom had just fallen down fully clothed with Bambam on the couch when he had walked in; the other three lay in various positions on Jackson's furniture in varying degrees of undress - some shirtless (Jackson), some pantless (Bambam) and then there was Mark who was wearing just a big hoodie and boxers. Mark was also upside down on his chair, clutching his phone to his chest._

_The level of drunkenness experienced throughout the night was possibly the reason why when morning had arrived, Mark had been upside down in his chair, fitfully dozing and thinking his way - not very clearly - over the events since his arrival back in Seoul._

_Since Jaebeom hadn't replied, was it more a non-event? Mark hadn't really given up on Jaebeom, or maybe he had? He doesn't recall._

_He did know he was upside down, wrong-side up; he was drunk or hungover, or something, he wasn't sure which yet and was in no fit state to talk to anyone, let alone a guy he was madly crushing over, or dare he say it, possibly falling madly in love with._

_He willed himself to peer at the screen, knowing the light would burn his fragile hungover retinas._

_He peered down at the screen, his thumb pressing against the screen to wake it up. Beneath his message from the night before was the new message._

_**_Jaebeom:_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Hey. Where are you?_ ** _

_He sat up with a jerk and promptly fell to the floor. However, Mark didn't even notice he'd fallen; scrambling to a sitting position, lean limbs fighting to fold themselves into something that would keep him upright. He just stared at the phone. Jaebeom. His eyes scanned the message, but his brain wanted more and he even turned his phone over in his hand in confusion and befuddlement before his brain registered that there wasn't more. Wait. What? That was it? Seriously, a man of few words. Mark quickly typed out a response._

**_Mark:  
_ ** **_Nice to hear from you, Mark. How are you, Mark? But I get 'Where are you?' Nice._ **

_Ah, sarcasm. It was useful. He was hungover and from the way he was feeling, he suspected he may not actually be sober yet. He stretched over and shook the others awake. "Holy shitballs, he answered!" Nervousness and excitement coloured his voice to a much higher pitch than usual._

_"Then answer him back moron," came the grumble from the other armchair._

_"I did!"_

_"Yay. Go you. Now shut up." Jackson wasn't so chipper this morning._

_"Did you answer him properly?" yawned Bambam from where he lay with Yugyeom._

_Oh. No, he hadn't. He quickly typed back an answer to the Jaebeom's question._

**_Mark:  
_ ** **_As for where am I? I'm in your heart. Duh! Like I said, I'm in Seoul._ **

_He knew it was facetious, but he couldn't help the tongue in cheek response. Also, it was a callback to something they had shared while away - that he, Mark, would always be in Jaebeom's heart. Mark waited anxiously, his heart hammering against his chest. After what seemed like an infinite moment, a message came in._

**_Jaebeom:  
_ ** **_I know that, idiot. Where?_ **

_He burst out laughing at the irritated tone coming through from Jaebeom. He could just imagine the tsk with the head toss and the beginnings of that clench of jaw and the jutting chin. He smirked. He couldn't help himself; he felt the need to wind him up further._

**_Mark:_ **

**_Aren't you supposed to be the stalker?_ **

_He could only imagine what Jaebeom would do to that message. He chortled as he typed some more._

**_LOL I'm at a friend's place. Come find me. Are you free?_ **

**_Jaebeom:_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I'm supposed to be at the gym._ **

**_Mark:_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Supposed to be? Why aren't you?_ **

_Mark took a deep breath. That broad shouldered frame he remembered so well working out at the gym brought to mind many other images that did not involve lifting weights nor running on treadmills. It brought to his mind the image of dark shadows playing across the wall as Jaebeom sank down on Mark, those thick arms balancing on either side of him as the younger balanced himself enough to lift and rock his hips to move slowly along Mark's slick cock, taking the elder's cock into him with an aching slowness. Mark could still remember how it felt. God. Mark shook his head to dispel the images but his body burned with recollection._

_Mark prayed that the man wasn't going to tell him that he'd reached the gym because drunk or sober, Mark would probably make his way there just to see that body working out. God, he was trash for his man. Why was that body so perfect to him? Mark ached for him. It had been so long. The notification startled him out of his thoughts._

**_Jaebeom:_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Well, I am on my way there. But it's a workout with a hangover. So I'm not really feeling it. You got a better alternative for me than the gym? ;)_ **

_Mark laughed at the message. The boy was flirting with him! He knew from Yugyeom how that hangover came about. And yeah he definitely had a better alternative him than the gym._

**_Mark:_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Hangover huh? Must have been a good night then? Did you do anything I wouldn't do?_ **

**_Jaebeom:_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I didn't do anything that *I* would do, but if you'd been there I would have done you._ **

_Fuck. Mark breathed. Jaebeom was definitely flirting with him. And still into him - rebound or not. Mark internally squeed at that. How cute can his man be? He was flirting! That meant Mark had been missed after all. He beamed his way through his next words._

**_Mark:_ ** **_  
_ ** **_LOL That's a bit sad for you, but there's always next time._ **

**_Jaebeom:_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Well, I did vow to never drink again._ **

_Mark snorted. He'd give the boy an incentive to drink._

**_Mark:_ ** **_  
_ ** **_But wouldn't you like to find out what I wouldn't do? It's not a long list._ **

**_Jaebeom:_ ** **_  
_ ** **_We did only scratch the surface in Japan. So yes. I would. I really would. Tied up. Blindfolded. Gagged. All of it._ **

_The joke was on Mark. He stared slack-jawed at the returning message. Mark swore as he tossed his head back, staring hard at the ceiling, willing the clench of his balls away.  Fuck, Jaebeom, don't do that. But the ache in his cock was growing at the images his brain was helpfully supplying him with._

**_Mark:  
_ ** **_Fuck, Jaebeom. Find me. Meet me. The sooner the better._ **

**_Jaebeom:  
_ ** **_I'll skip the gym and meet you._ **

**_Mark:_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Yes. I was hoping you'd say that._ **

**_Jaebeom:_ ** ****_  
_ **_Where?_ ** ****

_With urgency, he nudged Jackson with his foot. "What's a good place near here?" Jackson didn't move. Mark wiggled his toes, knowing Jackson's most ticklish spot and Jackson grumbled against the tickling sensation. He laughed as Jackson batted weakly at him._

_"Cafe Press," muttered Jackson, morning voice croaking out, waving Mark's foot away from his side. "It's the closest to here. It's memorable."_

_Mark put his foot back on the ground. "Huh? Why? What is it?"_

_"That place I took you to where Youngjae humped your leg."_

_Mark's brain cleared. "Oh, that place. And I'm going to take Jaebeom there?"_

_Jackson lifted his head wearily to give Mark a cheeky smile. "Do a Choi. Hump his leg. Make it even more memorable."_

_Mark ignored him, but a smile lit the corner of his mouth anyway. His fingers moved across his keypad._

**_Mark:_ ** ****  
**_How about I meet you at Cafe Press? It's the closest thing here._ ** ****  
**_Do you know where that is?_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_Or find me on your stalker map LOL_

 **_Jaebeom:  
_ ** **_Yes. I'll find you._ **

**_Mark:_ ** **_  
_ ** **_That's a good stalker. I want you to find me._ **

**_Jaebeom:  
_ ** **_I'll see you soon._ **

_He couldn't help himself. There was something about Jaebeom that really made him want to tease him about being a stalker. Or maybe just teasing him in general. "He said that he's on his way. Fuck-fuck-fuck... Fuck!" His fingers clenched tightly around his phone and he made a movement with his arm that looked as if he was going to throw his phone._

_"Nope nope nope." Mark felt Jackson grabbing the phone out of Mark's hand before it went flying._

_Bam sniggered weakly from where he sat with Yugyeom, "Good idea, hyung." Mark agreed. There was no telling what he would have done with his phone at that moment. They were only then just registering how hungover they all were. And Mark had started hyperventilating. "Fuck, Gaga! I'm about to go meet him. And I'm hungover as fuck. In fact," he slid up to his knees and paused, "I think I'm still a little drunk." He shook his head and felt the room spin, "Fuck."_

_"It's okay, hyung. It's okay," soothed Yugyeom. "So is he."_

_Bam sniggered, his feet tucked under his boyfriend's legs. "Did you guys eat at all last night?" referring to the boys' night in at Jaebeom's apartment._

_Yugyeom gave him a smug look, "They didn't. I did. I figured that you would call me home later. When you texted me that you were hanging out with Jackson, I knew you'd ask me to come in the morning for post-drinking cuddles." He laughed warmly, smiling at his boyfriend who was holding his hand._

_Bambam pulled the youngest's hand up and pressed his lips to the back of it lovingly, "I taught you well, grasshopper."_

_Jackson was giving them a seriously unamused look that made Mark giggle._

_"You guys are sickening," the Hong Kong boy deadpanned._

_"You're just jealous," the younger boys chorused._

_"Cute." Jackson then shrieked his crazy high pitched laugh, then Mark sniggered when Jackson groaned as it hurt his head. "Oh my head…" Jackson looked at him. "Markie, you have to go to him. You love him."_

_"Woah woah woah, I didn't say that…" Mark's head was spinning but not from the hangover._

_"You did."_

_"I did?"_

_"Yes."_

_“When?”_

_“When you pushed to come home instead of staying in Japan like you had wanted to in the beginning, and when you tossed off last night and this morning while calling his name when you came.”_

_Mark was floored. "Shit."_

_“No, it was ‘Jaebeommie… oh baby’, actually,” BamBam interjected._

_Mark could feel his ears flushing hotly in embarrassment and his eyes lowered to the ground while the three youngest cackled with laughter._

_Unbeknownst to Jaebeom, it was the same cafe that Mark, Youngjae, Bam and Jackson had gone to when Youngjae had flirted heavily with Mark. Mark grimaced a little at the thought that his first meeting with Jaebeom would be where he had his first meet up with Youngjae. Was that a little weird? He hoped not._

_"Hyung?"_

_"Hmm?"_

_"Jump in the shower. Now."_

_Mark went._

/ end flashback /

 

* * * * *

 _“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life._  
  
_A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave._  
  
_A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...”_ _  
_ ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

*** * * * ***

**Present Day**

It was barely light when Jaebeom woke alone. He'd only woken up because his hand had reached across and met cold sheets on Mark's side of the bed. He lay back, deflated. That meant Mark hadn't come home last night. He reached for his phone, hoping that Mark had sent him a message but saw only one message and it wasn't from his boyfriend.

Brain:  
"Coming around to see you tomorrow, dickhead!"

He smiled wanly. It wasn't from Mark. He flopped back on the bed. He felt empty. He missed holding the older man. Grabbing Mark's pillow he breathed in the scent that was uniquely Mark's and let it soothe him. Although he'd been hoping for a word from Mark, the message he' received still made him happy.

It had been at least twelve hours since he'd seen the younger man, and before he'd left, Yoo Youngjae had assured him that he would bring his boyfriend around to meet him. Jaebeom lay looking at the ceiling, reflecting on how it seemed that the man had finally found someone who made him happy. Jaebeom was happy for that - it had been a long time coming. His friend had been through a number of unhappy encounters and it was time that he found someone good.

But it didn't make him feel any better about Mark not being there. He missed him. He knew the man would be home eventually, but finding out that it was Jinyoung… he understood why Mark felt so angry. Just even the recollection of connecting those dots and piecing the puzzle together - it tore Jaebeom to think it had been his ex inadvertently causing the accident. He shivered as he thought back and recalled how Mark was in direct path of the vehicle. Jaebeom was still glad he pushed Mark pushed out of the way. He didn't think he could have dealt with the aftermath of _that_ had it been Mark who was injured. He shivered.

Pushing those thoughts away, Jaebeom got slowly out of bed, strapping his moon boot on and using his crutches to carefully manage his way to the bathroom. He wanted to at least get cleaned up. He felt manky after the crying and the deep meaningful with his father.

Hand rubbing at his face, he paused, staring at himself in the mirror. His hair was unkempt and his face was puffy. He hmmed. He'd cried yesterday because of the stress and relief and conclusions but it had ended on a happy note. More or less. It would have been happier if Mark had come home. _Stop it._ He sighed and turned on the tap, running his toothbrush under it. While brushing his teeth, he eyed his cast and opted for the quick flannel wash up - thank god Appa had helped him have a shower last night before the parents had gone back to Jaebeom's apartment.

As he washed his face, he wondered briefly if Jin and Brain were okay. They too were angry at Jinyoung. Jaebeom wondered if he should be mad at his parents for bringing it all up. That would be stupid though. They weren't to know that this would happen.

Again moving slow, he made the reverse trip back to the bed, wondering what to do about Mark. The phone rang as he stared at it. He jumped in fright. He scoffed at himself, grabbing the phone. He paused, frowning hard at the screen.

His phone was still ringing but what made Jaebeom stop from answering it was the name and the photo that flashed on his screen. "My Forever Love" and the accompanying 'cute kissy lips' Jinyoung. God, he hadn't changed that. Something wrenched in his heart and he had to take a deep breath. It caught in his chest as he swiped across. "Hello?" his voice sounded a little breathless to his ears.

"Hi…" The voice that answered him brought back so many emotions. _Jinyoung_ . "It's-it's me." _I know._ The silence screamed between them. "I-I needed to call you. I'm sorry. Was this the wrong thing to do?" There was a hesitancy in Jinyoung's normally confident voice that seemed so foreign to Jaebeom.

Jaebeom's head was full of thoughts but there was little to no coherency to them, just a stream of nonsensical words running across the front of his brain and he couldn't make head nor tail out of them. He could barely make out what Jinyoung was saying as his head tried to process that his ex was calling him - now of all times. After that damning report. The Universe was cruel. Jaebeom was silent as he pondered. Should he say anything to Jinyoung? Would it be fair to Jinyoung to know this? Would he want to know if he was in Jinyoung's shoes?

"Beommie? I wanted to clear the air. Is-is this okay? Is now a good time?"

"Yes, it's fine," he found himself uttering, despite his misgivings. He surprised even himself. He didn't trust his own self to come out with the right thing to say, in light of the accident report. He gripped the phone, willing himself to calm down as his heart raced with unnamed emotions.

There was an audible sigh from the other end. "I-I… * A sigh. "Look, Beommie, I came around to visit but you weren't at the apartment. Mum and Dad said you were at Mark's. I thought it might be too awkward to come to visit you there. I-I hadn't realised that you'd moved in together. It surprised me, to be honest, but then aga..."

Jaebeom phased his ex's voice out as he realised with a sudden shock that what he and Mark had done with moving him into Mark's apartment; it indeed constituted moving in together. In a way. And with another sudden shock, he realised that his heart leaped at the thought of this being permanent. His eyes wide; his ears unhearing of Jinyoung's voice talking on; the dark-haired man's thoughts raced ahead: Did he want to do that? Move in with Mark?

The very idea left him breathless, excited, worried and happy all at once. He loved the slender blond with all his heart, but was it too soon?

They had barely begun to date, he justified to himself, and while the man was nursing him back to health, it was a crash course in all things Mark-and-Jaebeom. They were growing together though. He could tell when he had whined just a bit too much for the older man to handle and Jaebeom would quieten his grumblings to a minimum when the boy got too quiet because that was the lull before the storm. He knew when the older needed to be held, he knew when it got too much, he knew how he liked his coffee, how he liked to eat spicy food, how he craved Chinese food every so often because of his upbringing, and how he favoured cold drinks over hot.

"... if you are. I mean, I'm not wanting to change anything between us, Jaebeom, but I would like to think that we could maybe become friends again. What do you think?" Belatedly, he realised Jinyoung was still talking.

Jaebeom wondered if he had missed anything crucial while he'd been thinking about he and Mark living together, and tuned back in, suddenly realising that Jinyoung was expecting him to answer a question he didn't even hear, "Err… I don't know," he hedged.

There was a pause. Finally, Jinyoung broke it by asking something that Jaebeom never thought in a million years he would agree to answer, "Do you still love me?"

Jaebeom felt that deserved no answer.

"Look, Beommie, I know you like to think things over. You and I are still similar in that respect."

"That's about all the similarities left, it seems." That seemed safe to say. Or not, as he heard Jinyoung sigh again.

"I know that I didn't leave on a good note, but there were reasons why it was better for us to break up," said Jinyoung plaintively.

The way that Jinyoung said that made Jaebeom bristled inwardly. How could Jinyoung justify any of it? "I know you broke up with me because of my need to have a family. And that you didn't want to have one."

He heard Jinyoung suck in a surprised breath. "How'd you know that? Who told you?"

It was Jaebeom's turn to sigh. Honestly, this boy. "Who has been your partner for ten years, idiot boy?"

There was a sheepish tone in Jinyoung's voice, "Oh yeah. I guess you do know me better than I know myself."

"Why, Nyeognie?" The question hung in the air. It needed to be asked. It needed an answer. _He_ needed an answer.

There was a pregnant pause before the younger man replied. "I don't know. I thought about it more and more when we talked about adopting. You were so excited. And I… I… I wasn't. I thought I was, but I soon realised that I was excited because you were excited. And I loved the idea of having a family. But I don't know. I don't think I'm ready. I like children and they like me. But I think I'm still too selfish to want things myself than to actually want to share with a little being.

"I want to experience life and do things and go places, unencumbered. I want to go to Spain and do the pasodoble, I want to go to France and visit vineyards, I want to go to Italy and be serenaded by a gondolier. I see these parents struggling with their kids on trains and in supermarkets and I think, I can't be bothered with that. I don't want to think twice about whether I can afford to do this because I need to pay the teacher to ensure my child gets extra work credits, or be at school helping out so my child gets extra attention.

"I hope one day that will change, but this time when you need me to be like that? I'm not. I'm not that person you can share that life with. So it's better that I'm not there." Jinyoung's voice was steady as the words poured out. "You - you need that. You wanted siblings. You wanted little people to share your life with. And you -- you would be amazing to share that with. You have so much love to give and I would want to watch you do that and raise those children and for you to receive that love and accolade that having children and family would give you, but I knew I'd be standing to one side. I wouldn't be able to involve myself in that. I would resent you for making that life before i was ready. I would forget about our amazing life together. I would forget you - the real you."

 _You forgot the real me a long time ago_ . _And you were and still are incredibly selfish._ Jaebeom couldn't get over what Jinyoung was saying. _It was always all about you._

Taking a deep breath, Jaebeom willed the negative thoughts away and instead asked, "Then you left me for my own good? Is that it? You gave me no choice in a life that we had agreed we'd make together. You broke my heart. You broke me. And you broke my trust." Jaebeom stopped because he wasn't sure if he could trust his tongue to stay nice. He'd love Jinyoung with all his heart. And while he knew that the ending was, in the end, the best thing for them in hindsight, it still hurt him. The scar hadn't fully healed, no matter what pretty thoughts he had, and what bandages he put over his heart.

"I'm sorry. I truly am. Please forgive me, Beommie."

His heart hurt - could he forgive him? Jaebeom shook his head. "Then why all the stuff at the hospital? What was with all the things you were saying about being sorry for leaving me? What was that all about? Or was that only because you thought Mark had stopped going out with me because I was going to be crippled?" Was that it? Jaebeom wondered if that was why Jinyoung did all that - because he thought Mark had left and he didn't want to look like he too had run out on the injured ex-boyfriend? He thought about it some more. "Was it a pity plea? Because 'Jaebeom's boyfriend ran out on him' - is that what you thought? And getting combinations to our apartment changed? All of that? It didn't add up, Jinyoungie. Why go to all that trouble if you weren't going to be around?"

"Mark came." The simple phrase was enough for Jaebeom to get it. Jinyoung never liked competition. His jealousy had been the basis for some of their more stupendous fights.

"Ah, so he put a crimp in the works?"

"Yes. And then, I wasn't sure if he was sticking around because you needed help. Or if he truly loved you. And I hung about because I wanted to be there, in case he wasn't there for… you."

Jaebeom mulled this around in his head, letting it linger for a while before filing it away. "Were you serious, though?" he asked. "Were you actually considering asking us to get back together again? Is that why you did those things?"

The younger stammered in his ear. "No. Yes. No. I considered it - yes."

"But you hadn't factored in the fact that I wouldn't let Mark go," guessed Jaebeom. He knew he was right by the silence at the other end."Jinyoungie, why are you putting us through this? You keep jumping from 'regretting leaving me' to 'you're fine with me moving on'. Which is it?"

"I-I-I don't know."

"You basically pleaded with me to let you look after me, Jinyoung. Why? Is it your parents?" Jaebeom was suddenly concerned about the Park family ties and whether or not Jinyoung's family were unhappy about the split. They had treated Jaebeom like another son and they had been very supportive in the end over their son's choice to be with Jaebeom.

"No." Jinyoung's voice sounded flat. "It's not them."

"Then what?" Curiosity made him prod the proverbial cat.

"Because I got caught up with that world!" blurted the younger man. Jaebeom was taken aback at the vehemence of the outburst. Jinyoung shouted, "It was just us again. Being happy families and all love and smiles and I know it was my fault for why I didn't have that anymore, but the breakup didn't make me a robot! I still feel! And I felt like it was nice again! And I wanted that again! Screw you and your parents for making me feel all those warm fuzzies and all that love again!"

Jaebeom's head was spinning. He knew how the younger man felt, for he'd felt a little bit that way too. He had almost been caught up in the lies that they were spinning at their parents about still being together. "You know it wasn't real though, right?

"I know! Believe me, I know." The bitter tones washed down the line and Jaebeom knew that Jinyoung had been woken up by the reality. "I don't begrudge you happiness, I really don't. I just… I was just wanting to be selfish for a moment and hold onto what I loved." Jinyoung's voice sounded strangled on the phone and Jaebeom's heart reacted the same way it always did when he heard that. He wanted to hold the younger man and let him cry, the let those deepest fears and uncertainties come out. He listened, gripping his phone tightly instead, as the younger man carried on talking, "I miss you, Beommie. Sometimes I really miss you. Like now. You would be here and you would hold me and I would be able to let the tears and the words come, and you would make me feel safe and secure, my shelter in the storm.

"You are an amazing man, Im Jaebeom," his voice was thick so Jaebeom knew the younger was already crying, "and I hope that Mark realises that." Jinyoung gave a hollow laugh. "It's dumb but what I miss most? The stupid things. Like touching you as I walked past if you were sitting in your chair; your tendency to grope my ass on the way past to the bathroom - every damn time, Beommie, do you know how long before I stopped getting hard on my way to the bathroom every time I remembered that? - the hugs, the reading together, and that stupid way you would warm yourself up on me by putting your leg on top of mine.

"But what I missed most of all? The way we would gently fall asleep together. I miss being the little spoon. You know what else I miss?" Jinyoung snorted. Your dumb stupid friends. They were my friends too. I miss seeing them. I miss them waltzing into our apartment as if they lived there. I hate that we had to make them choose and that they chose you."

  
"So why did you?" Jaebeom wanted to know that. Why Jinyoung forced them to choose. They would have chosen anyway, but Jinyoung forcibly telling them they had to choose over the phone. Why?

"Because I needed to know you wouldn't be alone." There was a pause. "I knew the minute you gave me that look of disbelief and confusion after I'd said what I'd said," Jaebeom could hear Jinyoung hesitating; even _he_ couldn't bring himself to say it again. "...I could almost see your world shattering and falling around you... I knew then that I had to make sure you weren't alone. I thought you'd been expecting it, like I had been. But I hadn't imagined that I would be cruelly breaking your heart like that. Not like that."

Silence as they both reflected back on that moment. Then Jinyoung, "I'm sorry, Beommie. Please believe me.

_Why, Jinyoungie? Why? Why did you callously break my heart like that? There were so many other ways you could have broken up with me._

"Nyeongie… Jinyoung. You said something so hurtful to me and I haven't been able to let that go."

"Which part?"

He took a breath. "The part where you told me you don't love me anymore."

There was silence from the younger boy before the low, almost whispered, "You know that was a lie."

The flame ran up his back -  that made Jaebeom angry. "No. No, I don't. It hurt, Jinyoung. It cut me deep. That person you professed to love forever, you said you stopped -" he cut off, taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself. "You said it like it was a switch that you turned off."

"I had to. Or I couldn't leave."

Jaebeom on some level understood what he meant. He didn't like it, but he understood it. It didn't mean he liked it, condoned it, or even if he could even really forgive it. But he could forgive Jinyoung. He had to. For him and for Mark. He couldn't wear that into their relationship. It was baggage. It was torture. It was… time to let it go.

Then Jinyoung asked a question that made Jaebeom question his life. "Are you happy, Jaebeom? With Mark? You hadn't been together long before the accident. Are you sure he is staying with you for all the right reasons and not because you need help?"

That made him even more sure of his decision to forgive and let go. He was angry. He couldn't believe Jinyoung was still playing these mind games. He made sure his own voice was steady as he pointedly ignore the questions, "Thank you..." he paused to take a deep breath. "for telling me why you left. And why you said… what you did." He meant it. "Really. It doesn't make up for the pain you caused me. You hurt me -- more than I could ever imagine and more than I can ever explain. But I think… I think I should forgive you. It will take time for me to forget it, but I think I should forgive you. I think, in some ways, I already have."

"You let me go, Jinyoungie," Jaebeom told him. "You made a decision that rocked our worlds. In fact, you made several. I will never forget that you took that away from me, giving me no choice but to be alone, without you."

Jinyoung's melodious voice sounded so deep, so torn up as he confessed, "I never wanted to let you go. I really had never intended on letting you go. Until the day I realised I couldn't stay."

"Then you should have told me that! Not make plans to leave me all of a sudden! What kind of relationship does that make ours, huh? What does that say about what we had that we couldn't even talk about it?"

"It was me! I admit it! It was me! I loved you! I still do!"

"You don't hurt the ones you love like that, Jinyoungie! You don't walk out leaving them with nothing! You don't take away what is left to hold onto to! Why did you even bother to stay and tell me??? That is what is making me crazy! You stayed! To tell me that! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Who stays there to tell someone that they don't love them anymore?!?"

"I loved you!"

"You have a fucked up sense of love then!"

"Screw you!"

"You already did!"

He heard the sniffles and the not-so-silent sobs coming through the phone. He waited. He had already shed enough tears over this. He wasn't going to expel any more. Jinyoung cried for a while; the only sounds coming through were the shaky sighs, the deeply indrawn breaths, the slowly exhaled ones, the quiet sobs. _I hope you realise what you lost, Jinyoung. I loved you. Wholeheartedly and with every bit of me. I will always love the Jinyoung I had for ten years. But the 'you' that is you now - that's no longer the 'you' I love._

Jinyoung broke the silence, "Beommie, I'm sorry. I hope you realise that I still love you. B-b-but I know that you have got an amazing man. And I hope he loves you more than I ever have. Because you deserve that, Beommie. You deserve it all. More than I can ever give. Just so you know… I love you. I never stopped loving you," his voice breaking at the end.

_I know, Jinyoung. I know. In your own warped little way, you do, but you don't have the right to say it anymore._

Jaebeom thought it, but he didn't say it. Any of it. Instead, he waited. It was silent on the other end, except for the sniffles that sounded occasionally. Then it was final... "Goodbye, Beommie."

 _Bye, Jinyoung._ "Take care of yourself, Nyeongie," he whispered back.

The call ended and Jaebeom laid his hand and head on the bed. He took a deep shaky breath. It was truly over.

His eyes fastened to the home screen of his phone.

 _'There can only be an ending of something old, if there is a beginning of something new,_ ' he thought, staring at the photo. It was a picture of he and Mark, making goofy faces. It was a picture of hope.

_Goodbye, Nyeongie. Goodbye, Jinyoung._

* * * * *

Jaebeom hobbled into the kitchen only to find his mother working in there. He quirked his head. He recalled her leaving to go back to his apartment before he'd slept the night before. But she was there this morning too. Then again, she was his eomma. She always had her own reasons for things.

He saw food on the bench and reached for it. She slapped his hands away. He pouted. He shrugged, "Eomma? Have you seen Mark?" limping over to give her a kiss. "Morning."

"Morning baby. No, I haven't," she said, accepting the kiss Jaebeom placed on her cheek, "but that lovely Chinese boy called and said he was over there. Sleeping off a hangover, I suspect."

Jaebeom laughed at her remark. Inwardly, he was surprised 'that lovely Chinese boy' had called his mother. There was only one other Chinese boy that Mark would go see after the events of today, Jackson Wang - business partner and best friend. Ah, so that was why Mark wasn't in the apartment. Jaebeom was surprised but then again his boyfriend had been pretty mad the day of the report so maybe he'd needed to get it out of his system. He hobbled to the cupboard before he stopped - how would Jackson know to call his eomma? He clarified as he reached up, "Jackson?" Grabbing a cup, he started to make himself coffee.

"Yes," Mrs Im confirmed, turning slightly, her hands still in the sink doing dishes. With a touch of coyness, she added, "He was very nice."

He turned. As he took in Mrs Im's suddenly shy demeanor, Jaebeom laughed. "Did he call you a 'nice girl' again? Or the 'Beauty of Ilsan'?" asked Jaebeom as he finished making himself coffee. Jackson had been effusive upon meeting Mrs Im at the hospital the few times they'd been there at the same time. The younger man had left an impression on his mother.

"No," she denied quickly but by the pink in her cheeks, Jaebeom could tell she had been pleased by whatever Jackson had said this time.

He marvelled even as he chuckled to himself at how the Chinese man could win anyone over within a few minutes of speaking to him. He envied that man's skill at putting people at ease. Jaebeom wished he had that.  His dealings with the Chinese man had been many, since Mark worked with him at the hospital and then at home, but he already knew the man was a flatterer. He grinned. The nurses had loved Jackson - some a bit too much. His eomma had a similar affliction too, certainly playing up to the younger boy during his visits, to the point his father had taken his mother out so that Mark and Jackson could get some work done. But his eomma always came back with an iced green tea for the Chinese man. He put his nose into his cup, hiding his smile, "Just remember you're married."

"Oh Jae-ah!" she giggled. "Don't be silly!" .

He gave her a look, his brows raised while sipping his coffee. She laughed outright this time, waving soap-suded gloved hands at him. Holding the cup in his hand, he smirked at her. "You're giggling like a schoolgirl, Eomma." He tsked. "Honestly, a grown woman… " he teased his blushing mother. "Flattery always gets Jackson everywhere. How does he do it?" He sipped at his coffee, shaking his head and laughing as soap suds came flying towards him.

"Nothing wrong with it," she said, defending the absent Hong Kong native. "He's very polite. You should invite him over." The suddenness of the suggestion made him roar with laughter.

"Eomma!" he said, mock scandalised tone in his voice even as he laughed. "You're married!"

Her face flushed red as a tomato. "Psssh tosh, Im Jaebeom. This is not for me. It's for you!"

He looked at her quizzically, unable to resist teasing her further, "Is this your way of setting up the equivalent of an adult playdate? His eyebrows shot to his hairline. He mock-gasped, "Eomma! What are you saying? I'm taken. I have a boyfriend I'm happy with, thank you. Remember Mark? I'm shocked at you, Eomma."

"Pabo. Not for that! I wouldn't do that!" his mother denied, face red with embarrassment. She flicked water at him as he convulsed with laughter. Focusing on the dishes in the sink, she didn't say a word, but Jaebeom could see the smile on her face.

"I'm sorry for teasing you, Eomma."

She huffed, but still worked with a broad beam on her face. But after a few seconds, she said, "But you know, he is Mark's friend. You should get to know him."

Ah, his Eomma. Always a parent. He smiled to himself. She loved him.

Jaebeom leaned back on the kitchen counter and crossed his arms, still sipping his coffee. He thought about Jackson for a moment. Jackson was very close to Mark - his encourager, his enabler. When Mark was scared of doing something, Jackson pushed him and supported him until Mark could get on his feet. At the same time, Mark was Jackson's anchor. He supported the feisty extroverted man, letting him chase his dreams, encouraging him, and giving him support if and when he failed, which from the sounds of what Mark had told him about Jackson was hardly ever.

"You're right," he said eventually. "I don't know enough of Mark's friends. I should invite him over without him coming over for just work." He moved to hobble away but then turned back, looking at his mother quizzically. "By the way… why are you here?"

* * * * *

Someone was shaking him. "Mark! Wake up!"

"Huh?" he said groggily. He could have sworn he heard Taecyeon's voice, but his brain was telling him that man was still in Japan. He opened his eyes, hit by the glare of the sun. He whined, "Couldn't you have shut the curtain, Jaebeommie?"

"I'm not Jaebeommie."

 _Jackson._ It came back to him. He was at Jackson's. He'd stormed in, gone straight to the gym room and smacked the crap out of the punching bag the gym owner had there. Then he'd been all melodramatic and blamed himself for Jinyoung-and-Jaebeom, and Jaebeom, and Jinyoung. He blinked, his face blank. He hated this. He wanted to be waking up next to his boy, breathing in his scent as he buried his face in his neck, but instead he was In Jackson's spare room. He flopped on his pillow and sighed. He felt the bed move as someone huffed to his right.

"You're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy." Taecyeon's voice was loud in his left ear.

Mark's eyes flicked sharply to the right in surprise. "Taecyeon?" He turned over and sat up to look for the source of the voice. "I thought I heard you; why? Huh? What?" The disembodied voice came from the person on his video chat screen. Mark blinked a few times to focus, rubbing his eyes, his brain trying to catch up. Taecyeon was looking at him from his screen, patiently waiting.

Jackson sighed from beside him on the bed, holding the phone only inches from his nose. "Here, hold it yourself." Jackson said gruffly, forcing Mark to take his phone. "You're at my place, remember? Trying hard to make a dick of yourself? Remember that?"

Yeah, he remembered. The stupid accident report. And his world views on the universe at large. Bleary eyed, Mark crossed his legs lotus style, wiping his eyes clear. "Thanks, Jacks." The man grunted in response. Mark turned his attention to his screen. "God, I thought you were here for a moment, Taec. I was wondering why you'd be here and not in Japan."

The man snorted. "I did just about fly to you."

Mark leaned back on his elbow, holding the phone up. "Is that why you are calling me?"

"Yeah. Why are you being a dumbass?"

Mark stopped. He knew what Taecyeon was referring to - him talking about leaving Jaebeom. Taecyeon knew. He sighed. "Jackson told you." He glared at the other blond briefly before moving up the bed; Mark sat up against the pile of pillows and the headboard. Pursing his lips, he stayed silent for a while, gazing impassively at Taecyeon through the screen. He could feel the disapproval from where he was. Both from the man on the screen and the one next to him. Mark bit out a little sharply, " What do you want?"

Taecyeon retorted, "Jackson asked me to knock some sense into you. He said you were talking about leaving JB because of some stupid ill conceived notion that this was the world's way of punishing you for the death of your parents. I fucking didn't believe it. Tell me you aren't that fucking stupid."

He felt smaller. Damn the man. There was some silence, Taecyeon's fingers tapping on the desk before him before Taecyeon shuffled in his seat at his end. Mark felt cornered. He muttered defensively, "Well, he should mind his own business."

"So it's true?" The older man demanded over the phone. "You are that insanely stupid? I mean, I knew it before, but I hadn't expected you to be this totally moronic. What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm doing what is best," he gritted out. What was it with all these people who thought they could tell him what was best?

"What is wrong with you, Mark?" Taecyeon's voice was soft. "You love him."

"And that is why I want him to not have to deal with the amazing karmic retribution the universe keeps throwing at me."

"Oh Markie… Yien… You know that is not true. We make our own karma."

As much as he did not want to, Mark couldn't help but listen to the older man's words.

"You love Jaebeom. You love that crazy bucket wearing penis head. His accident was not because of you; it is crazy coincidence that his ex caused it. Yes, Jackson did tell me what you thought," Taecyeon held up his hand to stop Mark from speaking as the blond opened his mouth to argue, "but Mark, accidents happen. Including the one your parents were in. You and your actions did not cause their deaths."

Mark looked impassively at Taecyeon. He didn't want to listen to this. "I don't want to hear this."

"Well, you are going to hear this Yien," Taecyeon gritted out. "If not from Jackson then from me."

"I can hang up on you."

"Then why haven't you?"

Mark considered it - strongly. His thumb hovered over the end call button.

Taecyeon said, "You can't do it because you know you want to hear it - you want to hear this. Someone to confirm that you are not the cause, that you are allowed to be this happy."

Mark swallowed hard. He felt the lump in his throat. He blinked back the tears that threatened.

Taecyeon gave him a look. "It's okay, Mark. You are allowed to be happy, and yes you are allowed to be _this_ happy. Jaebeom is a wonderful man. He's not without faults. He's not without baggage. And neither are you." Taecyeon leaned forward, his face filling up the screen. "I love you, Mark Yien Tuan. Wooyoung loves you. Jackson loves you. Tammy, Joey, Grace, everyone loves you. You are allowed to smile, laugh, be in love, be crazy, be crazier in love. All of those things that normal people around you are doing. You might be special but you aren't that special that you cannot do them, do you understand me?"

Mark drew a shaky breath. Taecyeon waited until Mark nodded.

"Look, you have been nothing but supportive of him. You know even when he asked you to go on that trip with him what it entailed and yet you went; to be with him. You told me yourself, it felt like something important, that you had sensed it would lead to more. And it did. It led to you and Jaebeom being together."

Mark swallowed the lump in his throat. "B-b-but…"

Taecyeon was firm. "No 'buts'. You didn't chase him back to Seoul for this pike out at the last hurdle. This isn't you. You don't give up like this. This is a small blip in the road and you know it." Taecyeon ran out of steam. "Look, Markie. I love you. I have never stopped loving you even when you were a dickhead and left me because …'reasons'. I forgave you for choosing to make the decision. I even forgave you for taking that decision away from me. But,"  Taecyeon moved closer to the camera, "...understand me clearly, Mark Yien Tuan… " Mark drew his breath at Taecyeon calling him that. It had been such a long time since he'd done so. "...don't fuck up the first relationship you have had since me. Jaebeom works for you. And you work for him. Don't stop loving him now."

It was the morning dammit. He hadn't put on his armour. He felt blindsided with all of this. It was getting too much to handle. He could feel all the emotions bubbling up and wanting to come out. He wanted them to go away and leave him in his little cocoon of justification. He tried to ignore the hurt in his heart at the thought of leaving Jaebeom. He tried to ignore the part of him that yelled at himself that he deserved to be happy. He pushed back at the wave of emotions that screamed at him to let it all go and run to Jaebeom. His Jaebeom. Im Jaebeom. His heart cried out for his man. A crack appeared in the wave; the tide foiling his plans and spilling around him. He was swept up with all the feels of heartache, of love, of missing him, of wanting him, of knowing that he loved him. Tears flooded his eye and flowed down his cheeks.

"I-I-I… _can't!_ " He all but wailed. Jackson gripped his hand.

"Mark, you love him. Don't give up now," Mark felt the tightness in his chest as he fought to hold back the sob that was rising at Jackson's words. _Please stop._ But the man's voice continued to implore him and his chest grew tighter and more tears ran unchecked down his face, "Mark, don't give up. Please. Think of him. Think of yourself when you are with him. You love Jaebeom, Mark; you know you do."

The dam broke and the sobs came out. Jackson crept closer and pulled him into his arms. Mark slid into them willingly, welcoming the feeling of being cradled and comforted. The sounds of his crying was the only sound for a long time.

Finally, the sobs subsided and turned into hiccoughs. Mark felt exhausted, worn out. "I'm sorry," he said. Jackson shushed him and continued to gently stroke his hair. Mark looked across to the phone that Jackson had thoughtfully placed against something to balance it up. Taecyeon was sitting there looking concerned. "I'm sorry," he said to the man.

"For what?"

"For not believing."

"In whom"

"In you, in Jaebeom. In humanity."

Taecyeon snorted. "Humanity? That's a new one."

"Shut up. It's not like … look, I'm trying to be serious here."

"Sirius died. Book three. Spoiler alert." Jackson smiled down at him.

Mark looked up. The conversation conveyed in that look; Mark knew they understood what this meant for him, that he and Taecyeon valued this relationship, and what it meant for Mark. They fought for Mark when Mark was too weak to fight for himself. No - they fought alongside, with Mark, giving him the strength to get there himself. God, he loved his friends. They were his family.

He smiled, "You're an idiot, Jackson."

Jackson mock gasped. "Did you hear that? After all I do for him, he insults me to the core!" He tried to push Mark off his lap, but Mark just laughed and clung on. "Idiot," Jackson affectionately carded his hands through his hair again. In his most British tone possible, Jackson said, "Honestly, don't you read?"

Mark sniggered, "Your British voice… You sound full of yourself."

"Thank Jackson for the fact you're still alive and kicking because _HE_ stopped me from killing you when you walked out on me," commented Taecyeon dryly.

"Ouch." Mark looked away as Taecyeon reminded him of the irreparable choice he had made all those years ago.

"Yeah. Ouch. You think it hurt you? Think about the hurt you caused me. You think that his friends will hold him back when you try to walk on him? You think Jackson will hold back Jaebeom?"

"No. Jackson won't." Jackson stated from his place on the bed.

"See. He won't. He will let that boy come at you, moon boot and all."

"I recommend dodging the crutches." Jackson suggested. "You ever thought about getting him a knee scooter?"

Mark glared at the half-naked, solidly built man laying on the bed next to him with his arm over his face. "You're both shitty friends."

"No, that's where you need to get your head out of your ass and get home where you belong. Your boyfriend needs you. Not this morose fucked up boy who thinks it's all about him. This incident report affects your boy. Not you. You wanted to kill Jinyoung. Go hunt him down. Take some of Jaebeom's friends with you, I'm sure they feel the same way if not stronger about this too. Remind yourself that the world isn't about you. The universe isn't reminding you of the fuck ups you've made in your life. It's there to make sure you don't repeat the same dumb things over again and it gave you something to stand on while you're doing it."

Jackson added, "Don't forget, Jaebeom didn't have a choice. Jinyoung took his choice away from him by instigating the break up. A choice can't be made when none is given."

"I didn't give Taec a choice."

"No. You didn't."

"So I'd be taking it away?" Both the men nodded.

"Yes. And being a dickhead while doing it." Taecyeon added.

"I hate it when you're right."

"It's why you fell for me," he replied with a smirk.

The knowing smile grated on Mark's nerves - who chased him at the beginning of their relationship, huh? "You're also an ass."

Taecyeon shot back, "You dated me. Who's the ass really?"

Mark snickered at his words. "Fine. Jackson, I'm going home," he stated while still grinning at Taecyeon.

"Thank god," the other man groaned, "because I have a date in a few hours. But there's time for the gym…?"

"I'm going for a run…"

Jackson whined, kicking his arms and legs about, "Markiepooh, why do you hate me?"

 

* * * * *

_Leave. Stay. Leave Stay._

Mark was running.

_Leave. Stay. Leave Stay._

His feet pounded on the pavement, slapping loudly against the concrete through the crisp morning air. Running shoes absorbed the impact for the body, all sinew and muscle, arms and neck glistening with sweat. The sun was low in the sky, the sky a light shade of morning blue. The haze on the horizon disappeared slowly as the sun continued its journey to rise higher into the sky, defeating the night.

It was colder as the seasons had turned. He had tucked his blond hair under the hoodie of his tee before he had started and he was glad of it. They'd barely noticed the seasons changing, in the wake of Jaebeom's accident - too caught up in the recovery process. But it was certainly noticeable upon his return to his morning runs.

It was his favourite pastime; running. It gave him a clear mind, a place to carefully sort through his feelings, a single thought at a time. It was preferable to heading indoors into the gym and pushing weights and running treadmills, like Jackson and BamBam. It was mind against muscle; body against the elements. And Mark liked that.

He let his blood sing through his veins as he pushed his body through his usual markers; he needed to let out steam before he did something that he would forever regret.

Thoughts were running as fast as his feet, tumbling over each other in their haste to make it to the forefront of his mind. He ignored them all in favour of having a clear mind, breathing in the morning air while he jogged at a constant pace.

 _Leave,_ said his brain.

 _Stay,_ said his heart.

 _Leave. Stay. Leave. Stay._ His feet kept pounding the pavement along with every beat of his heart.

 _“No matter how bad you want a person, if your hearts are in two different places, you’ll have to pass and move on.”_ _  
_ _― Alexandra Elle_

Stay. He would stay with Jaebeom. Come heaven or hell, he would stay. His heart resolute, Mark sped a little faster, ran a little further, heart and mind connecting at last.

* * * * *

 _The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven._ _  
_ _\- John Milton_

* * * * *

Jaebeom stood there, looking at his reflection. He looked good enough to take outside, right? He tried to see past the crutches…  Mark had called during his morning run. And they'd had a short, but good talk. Everything was good. Mark was okay. And they were okay. Jaebeom was relieved. And also somewhat excited. He had missed his man. Mark was in the shower, but soon, he would come out and would take Jaebeom and his parents out to the park.

Jaebeom quietly squealed. They were going out for the day! With friends! For normal people, this wouldn't be anything special, but for a man who had spent the better part of two months indoors, barely mobile, this was the best thing ever.

His mother was in the kitchen, happily making food and organising the picnic. That was why she was there! Thank god, for her otherwise, they would have starved. He still wasn't sure about whether Mark had any cooking skills or not. His father was helping his mother while Jaebeom sent messages and took phone calls.

Brushing his hair until he was satisfied, he hobbled back to sit on the bed. He was ready for when Mark came out...   

And when Mark came into the bedroom… Mark molested him. Wait, no that's not fair. _He_ molested Mark.

In all fairness, Mark came in from the shower, towel wrapped around his waist, another towel drying his hair. He was still damp, a few water droplet running down his lean, athletic body.

_Look at that body._

Jaebeom's mouth went dry. He swallowed the lump in his throat. Something stirred within him and he was salivating…okay, drooling. Mark stopped and stared at Jaebeom. And that's when Jaebeom felt that he was entitled to some comforting and loving and well, fuck he was horny.

_Look at that body._

One night without him and already Jaebeom found himself hard for him. He'd missed Mark immensely when Mark had stayed over at Jackson's. He knew why Mark went, but his body didn't care for reasons.

Biting his lip, he stared at the blond, pulled his hand into his shorts, and brazenly pulled out his almost hard dick.

Touching himself, he gasped quietly, when Mark gulped looking at it - at him. The younger pulled and tugged, working his hand over his head, twisting it around and sliding down his shaft, working himself harder, watching Mark's tongue swipe at those pink lips. The younger whined, egging the older boy to come closer. He felt himself getting harder, precome leaking at his tip and he tugged some more.

The older looked like he wanted to say something but before he could, Jaebeom lifted his hips and pulled his sweats off to enable him to part his knees. God, he was so horny. He wanted Mark so badly. He slid his hand down to touch his taint and finger his rim, whimpering as he did so.

That was enough to break Mark. The blond stalked over, pushed his hands out the way, growled something before getting on his knees and Jaebeom felt his tongue licking around the ring of muscles deliciously. He shivered then keened as Mark worked his tongue in, lapping at him. _Jesus Mark and Joseph._ Jaebeom couldn't hold the whine in that grew into a moan.

God, he was so turned on. "God yes, oh just like that," Jaebeom murmured. He could feel the stroke of his fingers, the glide of his lips…  oh god yes fuck... "Oh god oh god, that is so good. Fuck Mark… oh god, so good." There was something very dominating about the way Mark was taking him that made Jaebeom hard. Really hard.

Head swimming as Mark dug his lean fingers into the soft plump cheeks of his ass, Jaebeom arched up with every slow lick, every puff of hot breath, every single slick pass against his rim that the blond made. It was like being pleasurably tortured and he half wished he was some hybrid cat human that would produce slick just to show Mark how much he was really turned on. As it was, he hoped that Mark knew from the embarrassingly loud moans that he couldn't stop if he tried to the panting cries of his lover's name on his lips. And maybe - just maybe - Mark would know from the way Jaebeom fisted the sheets in his hands, uncontrollably arching his back off the bed. Or maybe the total giveaway would be his interminably painfully hard cock that dripped copious amounts of precome as he twisted and writhed at his lover's hands. Yeah, maybe that would give it away.

Hot breath against his skin as heat unfurled in his stomach; naked skin against naked skin; the feel of his dick hot and hard, and aching to be touched; he heard his lover's laugh, teasing as the blond moved his head ... oh, shit, yes, those were lips against his cock. Oh god, yes, he could feel his cock being engulfed in that heat.... and his hips bucked up, his mouth open, and his breath coming hard and fast.

Electric currents were running under his skin, connecting all the sensitive erogenous zones as one and coalescing to one point - his cock that was being tongued by one Mark Tuan. Fuck yes.

"You want to come for Daddy, don't you, baby boy?" growled a very dominant blond, sending spikes of greed through his body to his brain, colouring his thinking with lust and overwhelming urge. He moaned his assent, wanting more of the dominating Mark, and got it from the older man pulling down on his hips until with a small squeak of surprise, he was perched on the edge of the bed.

_Oh Daddy..._

Knees raised against his chest, the brunet watched as the slender, wiry blond poured lube liberally over a finger and over his hole. It felt cool against his skin. He clenched and unclenched before Mark pressed a finger against his rim. He groaned as his body relaxed at that touch, wanting, waiting for it to slide inside and tease him. Everything was so sensitive; he could feel the air against his skin, still and cool against his too-warm skin, disturbed only by Mark's breath. He could feel the slick slide of his finger entering him, the muscles slowly giving way and a heady feeling unfurling from his stomach to his head, causing him to arch his head back and gasp.

"That's it, my baby boy, that's what I want. Take me inside you…"

The words turned him on even more. He could picture Mark being inside him. The low hum that had thrummed through his body was now vibrating at a higher level - his nerves were singing out for Mark to be inside him. He felt Mark slide another finger in and curl, searching for his g-spot and he pulled his legs closer to lift his hips and aid him. His eyes flew back as Mark pressed against it. Oh God yes, that was it.

"Oh you like that, do you? Yes, baby, how about when I do this?" and Jaebeom saw stars. He arched back, a silent gasp on his mouth, breath coming out harshly; sucking air in desperate gulps when the elder man slowed his hand. "That's my baby. That's it." He felt the slight sting of a third finger, the extra lube added being cool on his heated flesh and then the glide, yes the glide of those three fingers sliding on home to hone in on his spot. Jaebeom was shaking, his body already over sensitive, as the older man played him harder.

"Please… Mark… stop teasing me...jebal… slide yourself in. I want to feel you, to touch you. To taste you…"

He hear Mark laugh warmly and he shivered, wanting the man desperately. "Soon, baby boy. Soon." Jaebeom groaned at Mark's words. Then the older man leaned forward, braced on the arm placed next to the younger's head. His voice lowered as he promised, "Soon, you have my hard cock shoving up inside you and riding you. I will fuck you hard and fast. I will fuck you so fucking hard until you beg me to let you come again."

Jaebeom groaned at the imagery and the imagined feel as Mark moved his fingers in simulation of what his body would do to him. Jaebeom was so turned on. He could only whine and shiver as those fingers swept over and over against his spot, teasing touching and pressing hard then gentle strokes. Those gentle, slow strokes were worse because they brushed and teased. He wanted it harder, faster, deeper. He could feel his cock hard, bouncing against his stomach and he ached as he rode those fingers. In. Out. Sliding against his rim, gliding against that spot, his nipples were on fire, wanting to be licked, to be stroked, to be pleasured, by hands, tongue, mouth, anything. He wanted Mark to be inside him, guiding that thick hard cock inside, feeling that thick heat sliding in, cleaving him, bottoming out, rubbing that pelvis against his sensitive taint and brushing against his balls. His head was swimming with all the thoughts and he was gasping and shuddering around Mark's fingers and then it was Mark's mouth around his cock and he bucked hard then it was dizzyingly empty as the older man pulled his mouth off him and slide his fingers out. "Maaarrrrkk….." he found himself whining, pining for the feel of something to fill him up again. "Come on, please…"

"Shhhh baby," the placating tone soothed Jaebeom's fevered mind for a moment. The hot pressure at his entrance before that slight bump as the older's cock slipped the head in; it pulled a choked gasp from the both of them. They paused in limbo, Mark straining to hold himself in check and waiting for the younger to be ready; Jaebeom bowing back as he felt the thickness stretching him…

"Jaebeommie…" he opened his eyes to meet dark eyes focused intensely on him, muscled arms straining to hold himself off the younger man's body, sinewy body rigid with tension.

He nodded, hair damp against his forehead, holding the man's eyes with equal intensity. "Now, daddy... come home…" And he opened his mouth on a soundless scream as Mark bottomed out and he felt the distinct rush of pleasure that only happens in that first slide of being filled. "Yessss," he hissed, ending in a guttural groan and unintelligible babble as the older pulled back and slammed back into him over and over and over… wave after wave of intense electric currents flowed through his body; his nipples erect, his balls tight, his cock hard and spasming, precome spilling over, slickly flowing between the two of them...

His cock was being stroked and it was tight and firm and the rhythm grew faster and faster and he was suddenly flying, soaring as he came hard, ribbons of cum over the older man's fingers and tears in the younger's eyes as he came crying his lover's name out into the empty room...  
  
"MARK!"  
  
Jaebeom lay there, breathing hard after he had been stroked to completion. Mark was still hard in him. Mark held his eyes as the older man touched his sensitive deflating cock. Jaebeom hissed at the sensation.

"Whose are you?" Mark demanded, his eyes intent, still buried deep inside Jaebeom.

Jaebeom weakly lifted his head. "Yours."

"Whose?" The firm tug on his cock was enough to make him moan again.

"Yours!"

Mark gently but firmly played with his cock, and the younger could feel his cock growing hard again. He choked as his over-sensitive cock filled harder than before when Mark thrust hard against his prostate. "Fuck, Mark!"

"Whose are you?!" came the demand again.

"Yours! Yours! Fuck, all yours! Oh god, baby… Oh god, Mark. Oh god, fuck, Daddy, yes yes yes yes!"

And he saw white as Mark rode him harder and faster, thrusting into him at a speed that had Jaebeom flying, soaring, and he was cumming around a pulsating Mark who was yelling his name.

_Oh God._

He slowly floated back to himself, becoming aware of the tangle mat of hair under his hand and the hot breath on his shoulder.

Mark lifted his head weakly and pressed his lips against his. "I love you, baby."

He felt his spirits lift and he replied raspily, "I love you, Markie," carding his hand through mark's damp hair. Jaebeom was satisfied that any tension that was there had been alleviated most thoroughly. He felt Mark heave himself off, pulling himself out of Jaebeom slowly. He let out a small moan as he felt Mark slide out and he clenched on emptiness. With shivers going through him, every nerve over sensitised, he moaned and whimpered as Mark gently wiped the towel he'd thrown off earlier over the younger man's chest, his abs, all the way down his deflated cock, brushing against his swollen rim, Jaebeom arched back at a particularly sensitive spot. He felt Mark peck him briefly on the cheek before collapsing on the bed beside him. They were both exhausted. He felt Mark kissing his hair and his face as his eyes slowly drooped closed.

Neither of them noticed the messages on their phones.

* * * * *

Slowly, Mark lifted his head and peered at the bedside clock. He groaned quietly. They would have to leave soon. They were probably already going to be late to meet their friends. He still pulled the broad shouldered man toward him, snuggling into his warmth, promising himself 'just another five minutes.'' He breathed in the warm, comfortable, scent of his man, resisting the urge to start something again as he felt the smoothness of naked skin under his palms. He groaned quietly when the younger man burrowed backward, grounding that tempting ass against his pelvis and his cock twitched. Quietly cursing his boy, he quickly inched his hips back, removing all temptation by rolling onto his back. He gazed at the ceiling counting to twenty, then backward to one. By the time he had returned to five, he was back in command of himself and wasn't about to ravage one Im Jaebeom in his sleep. He still counted silently all the way back to one, taking a deep breath before turning back to cuddle the younger man for a while longer. Another ten minutes had passed before he finally carded his hands through the younger man's locks and woke him up.

"Babe, we need to go clean up in the shower and get ready."

"Mnngghh… another five minutes."

Mark softly laughed, "I've already given you fifteen."

With a muffled groan and a deep sigh, Jaebeom turned within the circle of Mark's arm. He was so cute when he was still sleepy. Jaebeom lifted his face with a small pout on his lips. "Kiss," he demanded. Mark indulged him. Jaebeom sighed happily and wiggled against him.

"Stop," he warned the man. The younger whined in complaint but started to sit up anyway. Mark helped the younger make it to the bathroom, his arms wrapped around the other, 'supporting' the brunet down the hallway while pressing his lips against every bit of skin with his lips' reach.

Jaebeom whined as Mark's lips touched on a particularly sensitive spot. "M-M-Ma-ark." He felt the boy shiver in reaction as his tongue joined in the fun. "You said stop before," his voice came out husky. "This isn't fair."

Mark muffled a soft laugh against his skin. "Sorry baby, I'll stop now."

"No, I didn't say you should."

Mark shook his head, pressing a final kiss on the man's neck. "No, we need to behave and get ready. Our friends will be waiting. Come on." He dragged the man into the bathroom and sat him down on the seat of the toilet lid.

Together, they struggled with the waterproof sleeve that went over the man's cast. Lucky for them, the scar on Jaebeommie's leg was healed enough that it no longer required any form of cover while bathing.

"How much longer before this cast comes off?" whined the younger man, perched precariously on the cover of the toilet by the time they'd got it over his hand..

"Only a few more weeks," grunted Mark as he struggled to pull it higher. It said slide on, but really it was more of a grapple and wrestle job. "It's not like your leg, you know. It doesn't have the aid of the plate and screws like your leg does. There. Done." He patted the end of the sleeve.

"Boys…" Mark froze. It was Mrs Im. he looked at Jaebeom in panic. "Don't be long," she called. They heard the closing and latching of the front door, meaning she had just come through…? He hoped she'd only come through. He'd completely forgotten that his boyfriend's parents were in his apartment when he decided to grind their son into the mattress. He listened intently, hoping she wasn't coming down to the bathroom. Her voice carried down the hallway to where he stood, still frozen in place, "Jae-ah, your dad and I bought extra drinks to bring with us. I'll just finish packing up the food. I sent a message to the group to say you were _'indisposed'_ and to postpone the time of the meet up. Did you see it?"

 _What?! The whole group knew they were having sex? What?_ Panic flailing around like a fish inside his stomach, he cast a helpless look at Jaebeom. "Did she just tell all our friends we were fucking? Oh my god, were they here all that time?" whispered Mark, horrified at the thought. They hadn't been quiet. Had they heard them? More importantly, did they hear him taking their son so savagely and talking so dirty to their precious son? His ears went bright red and he ran his hands agitatedly through his hair.

"What if they were? Would you have been silent but violent? Shall I ask them?" Jaebeom smirked indolently at him. Mark felt like beating him at that look. Insolent boy.

Mark shook his head, frowning warningly at the younger, who smugly gave him a look before calling out, "Eomma, did we drive you out?" his eyes still on shorter blond male. Mark's eyes widened, his mouth flattening into a thin line, expressing his anger at the dark haired man.

Mrs Im must have poked her head around from the kitchen for her voice carried louder down the hall. "It's okay, Mark. We didn't hear much. Jaebeom's father was out the door the second he realised what you might be up to! We didn't hear much beyond your growl and his squeak of "Mark!" before his dad was out the door." The peals of laughter didn't help matters as Mark groaned and hit his head against the wall. "Yes, pretty much just like that. Do we have to leave again?" Jaebeom's mother had a teasing lilt in her voice.

"No!" Mark yelped, holding Jaebeom in front of his naked body as if Mrs Im was going to come down, ignoring the snickering man. "I mean, it's ok. Just um… showering! Be out soon," called Mark. He hissed down at his shit-eating, grinning-loon of a boyfriend.  "Dammit, Jaebeom, why didn't you remind me they were here?"

"And spoil the fun? Not in a million years, my love."

He looked down with a pout, feeling disgruntled while Jaebeom wrapped his arms around Mark's waist. He felt the pressure of the younger man's lips pressing into his tense abs, brushing across the top of his happy trail. He sighed. "I don't want them to think badly of me."

"Markie, look at me."

He met Jaebeom's eyes with worried eyes of his own. Jaebeom held his hips tightly. "Mark, my parents are ecstatic to know that I am with you. They like you. Hell, I think they love you. Hell, they might even love you more than they love me. They might be embarrassed now. You might be embarrassed now. But the truth of the matter is, they now know without a doubt that I am the happiest that I have been in a long time, maybe even in my entire life. If they have to hear me moan while you fuck the living daylights out of me to reassure them that I'm happy, then that is one I'm willing to take for the team. That way, I know now that my parents won't worry about me."

He looked down at the brunet who was staring up at him earnestly. "Are you not embarrassed by this whole thing? By them hearing us? I mean, I was being a little more ..."

"Dom-like?" supplied Jaebeom helpfully.

"That. Like I wasn't holding anything back."

Jaebeom shrugged at him. "I could be, and maybe should be, embarrassed by the fact that I know they heard some of it, but Mark, the way I see it, my parents heard me...you... us, expressing our love for one another in the safety and security of our bed, in our room, in our home. And while it is weird, it doesn't detract from the fact that it is a beautiful thing."

Mark felt emotional at Jaebeom's words. He jerked his head back to blink furiously at the ceiling. He felt Jaebeom planting soft kisses against his tense abs before the younger man pressed his cheek against his skin. "Come on, my 'blushing, virginal bride', let's get in the shower and dressed or my parents might think I'm blowing you here."

"Oh my god!" Mark jerked back, his face bright red. "Why are you like this? Can you not?"

He looked down to see the younger grinning lasciviously at him. That smirk made the older feel things that he felt he shouldn't be thinking of right then. He willed his dick to not think of it or at least to only half mast it. Jaebeom looked down at the twitching half mast dick. The younger man lifted the corner of his lips into a decidedly wicked and sly smile, and that tongue grazed the corner of the younger's lips. Mark felt distinctly attacked. "What fun would that be, Markie?" Even the voice got to him. The younger had the audacity to wink at him before sliding his hand up to cup Mark's balls. "I'd like to blow you right now."

Mark jerked away from him. "You're a fucking tease, Im Jaebeom. I'm telling your parents on you."

"Go ahead," the younger taunted to his back as the older started the shower. "I'm sure you'd love to tell them about how unfair it was their son touched y…" Mark flew across to palm the younger man's mouth. Jaebeom cracked a broad smile under Mark's hand and Mark felt he'd never been so whipped for a man in his life.

"Move that cute ass into the shower," he grumbled, taking his hand away.

"Sure thing," answered Jaebeom and Mark felt a spark of relief which was short lived as Jaebeom walked past and palmed his ass before breathing hotly into his ear, "... _Daddy_."

 _Full mast ahoy!_ Mark cursed under his breath, "Goddammit, Jaebeommie, I'm trying to be good."

"Well, where's the fun in that?"

* * * * *

Jaebeom felt it was worth the almost drowning at Mark's hands under the shower. He kept sniggering at the recollection of Mark's mortification. "Did you honestly think they didn't hear us?" as Mark washed his body.

"It's embarrassing!" Mark's ears were flaming once again. He scrubbed a little too hard and Jaebeom winced. "Sorry. But we have to spend the afternoon with them!"

Jaebeom gave him a look. "Who is going to be more embarrassed huh? You or my dad?"

Mark looked like he gave it some serious thought. Jaebeom laughed at his big baby of a man. "Babe, it's okay. They won't mention it, and hey, I liked it. All dominant you. Go you. It was good… real good." He tried to sidle up to Mark and caress his body, but the older man was not having a bar of it. The younger tried to stay in for longer and take a fun shower, maybe blow Mark off after all, but Mark was having none of that, hissing, "What if your parents think we are "doing it" in the shower?" in a loud whisper. His "Then they'll get some great ideas for the future?" wasn't washing well with his lover and Jaebeom chuckled at his man's blushing face, but got out when the older man insisted on it.

Once they were back in their room, he waited patiently on the bed, drying his hair while Mark rummaged through finding clothes. He looked at the blond who was going through the wardrobe, finding suitable clothes for a moon boot, arm casted man. Mark had already removed the sleeve for his cast.

Jaebeom felt well looked after. Mark really did care for him. He wondered if they would stay living together when he didn't need Mark to look after him anymore. He hoped so. He wondered if Mark had thought about it.

He let his mind wander back to everything the man had done for him. He felt his heart swell at all the memories of Mark looking after him; from the hospital to now. But it was then that he realised that Mark hadn't just looked after him after the accident, he did it even before the accident. It was all the little things while they were on their trip, from sorting out bookings to making sure Jaebeom went to all the places Jaebeom wanted to go; to the restaurants where Mark made sure Jaebeom had lots of water, had even refilled the ban chan for him a few times, and he was always making sure that Jaebeom was cleaned up after being filled by the older man. Mark wasn't here because he felt sorry for him; he wasn't here because Jaebeom was going to be a cripple; Mark was here because Mark cared. That's who he was.

"Mark?" he called softly across the room causing the older man to look up. "Thank you." The blond smiled that beautiful big smile and Jaebeom felt his heart flutter. He smiled back, suddenly feeling bashful. The blond crossed the room and planted a kiss on his forehead.

"I love you, cutie Im Jaebeommie. Now get your cute ass into these clothes - we have a picnic to get to."

A broad smile blooming on his face at the reminder, Jaebeom stepped into the boxers and shorts, pulling them up to his thighs before Mark hauled him to his feet, holding him tightly around his waist so he could pull them up over his ass. He pecked Mark's lips because they were there, chuckling at the surprised look on the blond's face.

"What was that for?"

He shook his head, smiling, before hobbling around to grab his tee. Sliding it on, he reflected on the fact that he was fractionally taller than his man and wondered just how many benefits that afforded him. He glanced at him, watching the blond, naked, man slip his clothes on, spraying his cologne on after.

Mark threw him a glance of query, and Jaebeom nodded so Mark brought him his cologne so he wouldn't have to hobble to the set of drawers.

He smiled, taking it gratefully from the man's slender fingers, and his eyes followed Mark around the room as the blond cleaned up their towels and put the room to rights - the way Jaebeom liked it. The way… wait, what? He frowned. Did he…? He noted that Mark had changed the way he did some things to the way that Jaebeom liked. Was that to make Jaebeom happy? He did a little jig of happiness inside his head. Mark really liked him. He knew he did things a little differently to suit Mark too. He could really get use to this. He made a note to talk to his friends about what they thought about he and Mark moving in on a permanent basis. Maybe even talk to Jackson about it. Maybe even talk to Mark about it too. After all, it did include the man himself. Jaebeom smiled - he was really a very lucky man. He had love.

* * * * *

_Love is love. No matter what kind of love, it is love. There is love between parents, children, siblings, cousins, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, childhood friends, adult friends. You feel love when you enter a relationship, even the ones that are platonic relationships. The only thing that no one ever tells you is that love is a tap that never turns off; it just comes out in differing flows. Sometimes it gushes so that it is almost overwhelming; sometimes it drips and leaves you in moments of thirst; and other times it is this constant flow that never leaves you wondering and gives you security and peace. For Mark and Jaebeom, they were still in the early stages of love, when life is still white roses, and heart eyes and you still blush when you look upon one another, and you will never wonder where the loves comes from because you can see it and feel it._

_But love is a funny thing…_

_And the thing about love is that it twists and turns and swirls and moves. It is ever constant and ever changing. It never stays as one thing nor in one place. You have to move with it… or be left behind._

* * * * *

He gazed out the open window as they pulled into the carpark lot. The day was still clear and sunny, and the sounds of people talking and being happy wafted through the air. Jaebeom was right - he'd thought it wasn't all that late when they had finally made it out of their bedroom, and out of the apartment - it didn't warrant being teased mercilessly by the Im parents all the way to the park.

He clambered out of their car and to his surprise, Mark had ready a new knee scooter for him. He'd been looking at them since he'd heard about them! He beamed at the blond man, kissing the lips found under the brim of the man's cap in appreciation.

There was a cool breeze breaking up the heat; the promise of winter was there, lurking about, being held off by the tenacity of autumn. It made for a pleasantly mild temperature, perfect for the picnic the boys had in mind.

With Jaebeom using his new knee scooter, they walked along the Han River, looking for a good spot for their picnic. There were many people also out enjoying the day with their friends and family. But Jaebeom only had eyes for his new scooter -so cool! He toyed with it as they ambled along, trying to swivel the handlebars around. He couldn't wait to get his cast off. As Mark put it, he'd levelled up with the addition of the scooter - once the arm cast was off, he'd be a boss. Invincible!

"Jae-ah! Please be careful!" Mrs Im sighed. "It's like he's 3 all over again. Hey, Mark, this is worse than when he was a child and we gave him a new bike," Mrs Im turned to Mr Im, "or remember that time when we got him that skateboard. I'm too old to survive another round of wheels."

He heard Mark's cute laugh. He yelled back as he 'zoomed' along, "Eomma! I'm being careful - it's okay! Mark wouldn't get me anything dangerous."

"Ah, really? It's not the things - it's you who is dangerous! He is spoiling you!"

"He's the best!" he agreed. Jaebeom couldn't stop beaming at his gamer boyfriend.

"Take a picture; it'll last longer," Mark grumbled when he caught Jaebeom staring at him again. But he smiled coyly and grabbed hold of the other man's elbow.

He'd never seen Mark's ears flushed red so many times in such a short period of time as Mr and Mrs Im gently teased the two men about their "eyes for only each other" and "how nice to be in love." He sniggered and shrugged helplessly, knowing better than to interfere, when Mark shot him a desperate plea for help.

They found a good spot - a nice flat place near the path so Jaebeom could still wheel around his knee scooter. Just as the Ims and Mark had started to lay out the rug to sit on, Jackson came bounding up. The excitable muscled man had immediately latched onto Mark, gripping his sleeve and jumping up and down, "Mark! Mark! There's this cute dog and it was white and it was so cute and oh my god, there it is! And it's with Youngjae!" He ran to the man holding the cutest, whitest dog Jaebeom had ever seen. "Oooh! Youngjae - is he yours???"

The man holding the dog laughed loudly while Jackson alternated between patting the dog and jumping back. Jaebeom couldn't stop the laugh that came out of his mouth. Jackson was such a 'wear your feelings on your sleeve' kind of guy. Jaebeom liked that about him.

He looked back at his parents and Mark getting their picnic set up and ready; food being placed out of the bags and onto the mat. "Do you need help?" he offered, knowing that any help he could do was minimal and feeling a bit helpless about that fact.

His mother smiled her beautiful radiant smile and he felt his heart swell at the love she always expressed so freely to him. "It's fine, Jae-ah. We'll be ready soon. Mark is helping. You go and catch up with your friends."

As nice as she meant it, it smacked distinctly of 'run out and play with your friends, dear' like he was five years old again. He gave her a crestfallen pout and turned his gaze on his boyfriend. Mark huffed in amusement before waving good-naturedly at him and indicating toward Jackson the man with the dog as if to say 'go talk to them.'

Feeling like he was lacking he swung his scooter about and started to head to Jackson, but paused. The other man was talking animatedly and gesturing wildly and laughing loudly. The sound that came out of the man Jackson had run up to was more than loud, it was spirited and cheerful, enough to take away any feelings of shortcomings that Jaebeom had. It brought a broad smile to Jaebeom's mouth as he listened to it. He looked at the man closely and the wide smile on the man with the dog was the brightest he'd ever encountered and it stunned him. It was like …

"It's like looking at the sun, isn't it? He's gorgeous," smiled Mark with a knowing look, standing next to him. He felt like he'd been caught looking at another man inappropriately. Even though he hadn't, he still felt embarrassed. Jaebeom coughed and looked down, rubbing his nape. "It's okay," reassured Mark. "I know how it is. Youngjae does that to me too. His smile is blindingly radiant. So much purity in that face. But wait until you get to know him. The dichotomy in that one body is real. Such a devious soul resides in there," Mark cackled. "He's mischievous! Watch out."

"So his name is Youngjae? Is he a friend of yours…?" Jaebeom looked at Mark, curiosity colouring his tone. Did Mark invite him? How did Mark know this guy? He didn't want to come across as jealous, but Jaebeom knew he was - just a little bit. "Sounds like you…" _know him well then?_ The question Jaebeom really wanted to be answered was - _how well?_

"Yes, I know him," Mark answered his unfinished question. "That is Choi Youngjae. You know, Brain's new boyfriend?" The light cleared all jealous thoughts out of his brain. Jaebeom went "Ah" and it all made sense to him now. Mark would have met Youngjae already outside of the hospital. Mark pulled his elbow. "Come, I'll introduce you. Oh wait, there's Brain; maybe he wants to introduce his new boyfriend," stated Mark, waving at the other man coming towards them with bags of food in his hand.

"Hey! Brain!" Jaebeom exchanged handshakes and hugs with his best friend. He looked hard at his friend, knowing the state he had left their apartment the previous day. "You good?" Brain nodded with a wry smile. Jaebeom returned his smile then nodded at Youngjae, Jackson and the dog. "Is that your new boyfriend? He's got quite a laugh on him." While Yoo Youngjae looked at his boyfriend, instinctively, Jaebeom's eyes sought his blond man. He noted over Yoo Youngjae's shoulder that Mark had moved away to help Mr and Mrs Im while Jaebeom and his friend caught up. Mark was always so unobtrusive and helpful. He felt calmer knowing where the older one was.

Yoo Youngjae chortled, "He's gorgeous, isn't he?" referring to Choi Youngjae. "I bet you to him! How gutted are you now that you missed out on him?"

He smiled at Mark helping his parents before looking back at his friend. Jaebeom hmmed for a moment at Youngjae's comment, "Oh, that gym guy? Is that him?" He glanced over at Choi Youngjae. Choi Youngjae was definitely not the man that Jaebeom had been taken by. That man was different. He and Youngjae were definitely not talking about the same man. "That's who you meant? Oh, that was not who I meant by the 'gym guy' when we were at the gym. The man I meant was… " His voice trailed off. While they had been talking, Jaebeom's eyes had strayed back to Mark who was helping his parents lay out the food, and as he bent over, the cap on his head hid his face for a moment.

His distinctive blond hair was hidden and only his lean-muscled limbs were visible. His ass - that ass that Jaebeom was very familiar with - was on display and Jaebeom's eyes narrowed and then widened as a realisation struck him. "Oh my god, it was you…" he breathed. Yoo Youngjae swivelled to look at where Jaebeom was looking.

Mark looked up and saw the two men looking at him. He gazed between the two men with uncertainty. "Um… you okay?"

The way that Mark was standing, the light hitting him from behind a certain way and Jaebeom could see how he had missed it - that Mark all along had been _his_ gym man. The man his eyes had followed at the gym, way back when all hope had gone and he'd been swirling in the dark waters of post break up city. That beacon of hope had been Mark, right from the start. "No way," Jaebeom shook his head, "it _was_ you. Oh my fucking god, it was you all along."

Mark looked confused at his words and Jaebeom rushed to explain but… "What was?" Seokjin snuck up behind them and laid an arm around Jaebeom's shoulders. "Like your new wheels, JB. Pretty flash."

"What?" replied Jaebeom distractedly, uncaring for the interruption, "Oh yeah, the knee scooter. Pretty cool."

He stared at Mark who had turned back to what he'd been helping with, the older man sending him confused glances every so often. Jaebeom was stunned, barely able to believe it. Was it really Mark?

Seokjin slapped him on the chest, "So what was 'you all along'?"

"Oh! Um, yeah that…" Jaebeom couldn't take his eyes off Mark, looking at him in a new light. "Wow. Um, yeah, wow. Ah, I think.. I am… I'm pretty sure that the gym guy I thought we were fighting over? The guy I noticed at the gym? That guy? That guy was Mark. Mark was the 'gym guy'. _My_ gym guy."

"Your gym guy…?" Yoo Youngjae was confused.

"The one we thought we were both gunning for," clarified Jaebeom, . "it wasn't your Youngjae. It was my Mark," he added softly, lost in the realisation that his Mark and his gym guy were the same man.

"The one… oh. Oh! OH!" The three men simultaneously turned to look at Mark and the blond again stopped where he was. The blond turned sideways and yelped, "Help" to Jackson who was still standing next to Choi Youngjae.

Jaebeom and his friends focused their gazes on Mark and his two friends who had started to walk towards them - in a familiar manner. "Oh wow…All of... It was all of you... God!" He pushed his hands through his hand. "Ahhh! God!" He pumped his fists up into the air, adrenaline rushing through him. He couldn't believe it had been in front of his eyes, their eyes all this time!  "God, it was all of you - why did we not see it?!"

Jackson looked at them with a frown and then his face cleared, "Oh hey! I know you all you guys. You're the group from my gym! I know you all! What are you doing here? Do you all know Mark?"

Jackson yelled, "Wait! If Jaebeom is part of the group… There used to be four of you! And then you came in with three one morning - the morning I brought Mark! Whatever happened to him...oh. You're Jaebeom and..." Jackson turned to Mark. "The fourth man was Jinyoung, wasn't he?"

Jaebeom saw Mark start at Jackson's words and then levelled his gaze at them, seeming to assess them.

Jaebeom was surprised. He hadn't realised that Jackson would put that together so quickly.

Choi Youngjae too looked at them, his eyes narrowing and staring straight at Jaebeom. He looked at Mark then back again, and from the look on his face, he too had connected the dots. Jaebeom shifted uncomfortably as the boy looked at him coolly, then Choi Youngjae let out a loud laugh, pointing a finger at Yoo Youngjae. "All this time, babe, and you weren't even chasing the same man!" He howled, "You didn't need to worry about me meeting JB then! It was always Mark he was after!"

Mark looked quickly between the two groups, cocking his head, "Jaebeommie? What? Wait, _I_ was your gym guy??? That's what this is about?" Jaebeom hissed and nodded his head, a crooked, but elated smile on his lips. He couldn't believe it. It was Mark all along.

The blond man bit his lower lip, staring at Jaebeom, quirking his lips. "I was that guy! Your gym guy! Brain told me that you'd been fighting for the same man, but _I'm_ your gym guy! Not Youngjae! Ha! You lose, Brain!"

Mark started running around, his arms widespread, "I was your gym guy! I'm your gym guy! I'm your dream guy!" Jaebeom laughed as Mark happily told the world. He watched his man fall to the mat on the ground and whooped with laughter until he cried.

"Yes, you're my gym guy," he nodded at the blond man; that man _was_ his dream guy. It made Jaebeom feel like it was all weirdly meant to be. Mark was meant to be his.

The blond calmed enough to sit up. "You _are_ my stalker!" he declared. "See! Oh my god, this is gold," the older man crowed to him, "You fell for me before you even met me! You were totally my stalker!" He stood up and ran to Jackson. The two of them were laughing and jumping calling him, "Stalker."

Jaebeom shook his head. "This is not funny!" he called.

Mark disagreed. "Yes it is! Jaebeommie! This will be fodder for all my jokes forever! Oh my god! Stalker boy! Thanks, two Youngjaes!"

His eyes followed his very happy boyfriend as he ran about the park, celebrating. Jaebeom shook his head in mock disgust. He would never hear the end of this. But then again, maybe that was a good thing. Because Mark was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

* * * * *

He lay back on his elbow, full to the brim. God, he was so full! Mark shook his head. There was so much food brought but that was okay. It was almost completely demolished by the group with full appreciation. Mark always felt that it was better to have too much than not enough. He rubbed his stomach in silent appreciation.

He peered around as he lounged next to Jaebeom. The others too were looking a bit comatose after the consumption of food and were quite happy to sit and talk. Coco was being monopolised by Bambam and Yugyeom who finally turned up, bringing frisbees, soccer balls and baseball bat and ball with them. And even with all that entertainment, Mark noticed the group were having more fun just sitting down and talking - both groups of friends getting to know one another. So many questions were being asked.

_"How do you guys know Mark?"  "AmeriThaiKong forever means what…?"  "Mark, how's JB in the kissing department?" "Bambam - where's that name from?"  "Jaebeom, what's it like dating a foreigner?" "CYJ, how'd you adopt Coco? And why Coco?"  "Jin, how do you know Jaebeom?" "What recipe did you use for this - it's amazing?!"_

Mark laughed at some of them as he overheard them. He also noticed how many of the questions were being directed at he and Jaebeom. They managed to ignore or deflect, but he hazarded a guess it was because they were the newest relationship and least known about.

Choi Youngjae - forever dubbed CJY in their group, sat with Bambam and Yugyeom, keeping a close eye on his baby Coco while still holding hands with Yoo Youngjae. So far, they had not openly talked about he and Mark having dated, though Mark made a mental note to discuss that with Jaebeom at some point in the near future.

As suspected, Yoo Youngjae and Jackson seemed to have hit it off and were grilling one another to the point of laughter. _"So Jackson, you're Chinese?"  "Youngjae, how do you feel about calling out your own name during sex?"  "Did any of you guys ever crush on any of your friends before?"_  Seokjin and Youngjae conversed with Mr and Mrs Im while Mark and Jaebeom were happy to sit back and listen to them all.

Seokjin lay back on his elbow and focused on them and Mark felt a prickle of alarm - was this the expected friend grilling? "Right, come on boys, who made the first move?"

He breathed a silent breath of relief. That one was easy - or was it? He and Jaebeom looked at each other. He thought back to Japan and wondered who made the first move - was it him because he asked the younger away?

Mark figured he should start with the truth - sort of. "He was my stalker."

Jaebeom spluttered in indignation. "Wha-wha-what??? No! I was not! How many times do we have to go over this?"

"Until you admit you were stalking me," teased Mark.

"But," Jaebeom looked around wildly, taking in all the expressions of the people around them, "but, I… it was totally coincidental!"

"I'd believe Mark," Youngjae stated.

"I'd believe JB," Yoo Youngjae challenged.

"Oh come on, really?" Yugyeom asked.

Jackson countered, "Have you seen Mark? People follow him around the supermarket and stalk him in the train stations."

"So who was it?" Mrs Im asked.

"Truthfully," Mark answered, "I think technically it might have been me."

"When?" they chorused.

"I was the one who said hi to him in Starbucks, but I think I was the one who first made a real move - thanks to Jinyoung. I must thank him for that someday," mused Mark.

"That sounds interesting…?"  

"Jinyoung?"  

"Tokyo?"  

"You met Jinyoung?!"

The cacophony of questions made him laugh. Mark summed up, "Jinyoung was in Tokyo, we met, hated on each other, I groped Jaebeommie, Jaebeommie and I made out, Jinyoung realised we were a couple, I took Jaebeom on the trip on his life f…"

"Oh, my god!" Jaebeom hid his face in his hands at Mark's synopsis. "Oh, god, my parents…"

"...funning about with bungy jumping and tours of Mt Fuji and Hakone and Yokohama."

Mr Im teased, "Trip of a lifetime, eh? Japan was that good, Jae-ah?"

Jaebeom peeked through his fingers at the parents laughing at him, betrayal written on his handsome face. He mock-glared at them. "Hey! Japan is incredible. You wait until you try it."

Mark broke in, also teasing him, "Aw babe! I'm not that good that you should boast about it! And sharing with your parents? Cute and all, and while it is legal in Japan, it is still considered illegal here in Korea."

Jaebeom screamed and hid his face behind Mark's back. Mark shrieked with laughter. God, his Jaebeommie was so cute! "Come out, Jaebeommie!"

"No! I hate you all!"

"Hate is such a strong word, Jaebeommie," laughed Mark as he tried to get the man out from behind him. He eventually got Jaebeom to sit back up, although with a little bit of pouting. He sat behind the pouting brunet, tucking his chin on his shoulder while wrapping his arms around the man. He kissed him sporadically - well, because he could.

He saw Bambam give Jaebeom a look full of curiosity. "So how was it that you got Mark Tuan of all people to fall for you?"

Mark huffed, "Why is this always a thing with you?"

"Everyone wants a piece of you. All those people who want your number, hanker after you wherever we go, the people who slip us their numbers to give to you… But you're always the same… You don't like other people, hyung," the implied 'duh' hung in the air after BamBam's words.  

"I do!"

Jackson and Bambam exchanged a look before laughing outright, while Yugyeom tried to hold in his, but failed and erupted into giggles. Mark managed to reach over and slap him on the stomach. "Stop it! I just don't like them when they are near me."

"That," chortled Yugyeom, pointing at him while laughing with the rest. Mark could feel himself blushing.

"It's okay, Mark. The world needs introverts," soothed Mrs Im.

Jaebeom turned to his boyfriend, "What is this?"

Mark sighed. "I don't like people…"

"You spoke to me."

"Because you were you and you were way more uncomfortable than I was and I was prepared to play to my advantage."

"So if I'd been... say... Jackson?"

"I would have run far, far, far, away, chanced journeys through perilous deserts, climbed the highest mountain to the biggest room in the tallest tower," misquoted Mark while vehemently confirming that he would have run away.

Seokjin grinned, "So… not into extroverts then. Noted. Have you noted that Jackson?"

"Why are you looking at me? I'm his best friend. I'm not dating Mark."

"Why haven't you dated Mark?" asked Jaebeom.

"Have you met him?" demanded Jackson. "He's so… _Mark_ ." He made expansive sweeping gestures before shaking his head. "I can't live with that. You tell him something, he tries to find solutions. You tell him something else, he is quiet as a door. I need to rant and rave, and be excited, not have a problem solver at my disposal. And I have enough doors in my life without adding another one. Nah-uh. _Ack_. He's all yours." Jackson waved his hands round in denial as if to cast Mark off away from him.

Everyone laughed while Mark threw a napkin, "You are no longer my best friend! You're supposed to talk me up, not run me down!"

Jackson knelt up, "I would if it didn't involve me lying!"

"Ooooh! You're lucky I have Jaebeom in front of me or I would…"

Jackson was swaying from one knee to the other, taunting Mark. "What? What will you do? Huh? Huh? Beat me up? I have witnesses. That's abuse. That's assault. I'll...I'll… "

"Sit down," Seokjin said quietly but firmly to the blond Chinese man. Jackson promptly sat down next to him. "Good boy."

Jackson frowned at him. "Shall I wag my tail too? I'm not a dog, hyung," Jackson stated with a huff. Seokjin just patted his leg.

"Stay." Jackson stayed. "Good boy."

Jackson gave a small smile, in spite of himself then grabbed Seokjin's arm and wrapped himself around it. The older man looked startled, but then relaxed.

Mark hid a grin. It never took long for people to warm up to Jackson.

"Hey did Mark ever tell you about the night he flew back from Japan to chase you down?" Jackson asked in a not-so-sweet, not-so-innocent tone. Mark glared at him.

"Don't you dare..."

Bambam snickered behind his hand, shaking his head. "You should have seen him," he said to all. "He sent Jaebeom a text before he even left the airport but when he got back to his apartment, he overanalysed everything because he hadn't replied in 0.3 seconds!" the young Thai boy carded his hand through Yugyeom's hair even as they laughed.

"I did not!" Mark denied as hotly as he could while hiding behind Jaebeom's head.

"You did, too. He paced around, then sat down, then paced some more; all while waiting for your text. Then he got drunk and slurred out words that made no sense to us whatsoever. Then when he got your message, he proceeded to panic and flail around before running to shower to 'look cool.'"

"Thanks so much for making that sound so cool, _Gaga_."

"You're welcome, _Yi En_."

Jaebeom shook his head, his mouth set in a small smile. "I'm glad I didn't see this. You sound so pathetic. Tough Mark Tuan all soft because of little ol' me."

Mark hit him, his ears flushing red. "Shut up," his teeth catching his bottom lip in that endearing cute lip bite that made Jaebeom feel things. "I was nervous and I wanted to see you and if anything, it just shows how unsure I was of you. Love, moron, love," Mark sulked, feeling like he was being picked on, "...as if you were any different. You hid in your apartment, licking your blue ball nuts, getting drunk with your friends."

"Yeah well, you left him alone for a week," Yoo Youngjae snarked. "He didn't even tell us he was home, he was so desperate to hear from only you."

At first, Mark spluttered, then he cackled before falling to the mat, clutching his sides, laughing uproariously. He wiped his eyes, "You really hid in your apartment for a week? A week? Dude!"

Jaebeom gave Yoo Youngjae a look but Youngjae just shrugged and reminded the man, "Blue balls, dude. Blue.Fucking.Balls."

Mark saw them exchange a look that spoke volumes before Jaebeom turned his head to speak to Mark, "So what, huh? It was a long fucking week. You woke up the sex fiend in me then denied me for a week! That's cruelty! I should report you."

He felt the kiss that Jaebeom bestowed on his cheek. He snorted. "To whom?" retorted Mark cheekily, "The Sex Police?"

"Aish!" Jaebeom grabbed Mark's knee and squeezed hard.

Mark shrieked with laughter as both pain and ticklish feelings shot through him, "Fine fine, whatever. Gosh, you big baby!" He kissed Jaebeom's shoulder. "Shithead. Oops. Sorry for the language, Mama." He looked across at the parents Im who were watching them with warm smiles on their faces.  

Jaebeom waved at the others, "Continue with your story. Which by the way sounds like all the ways Mark avoided me."

"Hey, says the man who stayed home for a week."

"He was waiting for loverboy here to call him. Apparently, it involved some very personal note?"

"Oooh, was that the dick pic?"

"What?!"  

"Ahem! Parents!"

"Im Jaebeom! What have we taught not to do!"

A chorus of "Sorry Mrs Im!" "Sorry hyung!" and "Sorry Jin!" filled the air.

Behind the Jaebeom's back, grinning ear to ear, Mark subtly nodded, confirming the dick pic.

He loved that photo. It didn't compare to the real thing but he still treasured it nonetheless. However, Jaebeom saw the nod and cast Mark a look of betrayal, "Ouch, Et tu, Brute?" Jaebeom put his hand on his heart, "Low blow. Kiss me better please?"

Chuckling, Mark scrambled up to his knees and leaned in. He made sure that the younger man felt better as the slender man grabbed in his face in both hands and kissed his lips, chasing away any chill from the cool breeze. Obviously, that satisfied the younger, for he sighed and pulled Mark in closer, snuggling him in close to his side. Mark settled in with a happy smile.

But, in his ear, Jaebeom chuckled, "Do you realise how dumb you were? To not make contact? Do you concede that for an intelligent man you really were astronomically stupid?"

Mark's face flamed. Mark buried his head into the brunet's neck, ears burning. "I know," he said, his voice muffled against his skin. "it seemed like a good thing to concentrate on work then come for you."

Jaebeom pulled back and leered, waggling his brows, whispering into his ear. "You came for me alright. Many times."

Mark shoved him, "Dirty!"

Chortling, the younger man fell to his side away from Mark, "You love it!"

Mark smiled with an, "I love you. Even if you're a sleazy boy sometimes," and pulled him back up into the circle of his arms.

"Hey do you two mind? We are trying to tell a story here!" Jackson and Bambam were still recounting Mark's story, but it was to the point that the blond man was so embarrassed that he hid his face in Jaebeom's lap and wouldn't come out.

"Wait… Was that cafe where Mark and Youngjae were playing footsie under the table, Jacks?" Bambam questioned. "And where he kept grabbing Mark's leg?"

Jackson crossed his arms, nodding. "Good times, man, good times. He was almost humping Mark's leg."

Mark was making 'cut it out' motions with his hands when Jaebeom caught him. He weakly mumbled something and before hugging the man, hoping to distract him. Jaebeom mock-scowled at him, "You took me to a cafe where you'd been pawed at by some other man??? How could you?"

Mark thought quickly. "I apparently have good luck at picking up there?" replied Mark. "I was raising my chances at getting you."

Jaebeom gave him that beautiful smile that always melted Mark's heart. "You're lucky I can believe in that stupid reasoning. Now, shut up and kiss me because I'm feeling insecure." Mark was happy to indulge his man. He gave him several kisses, just to be sure.

"They went on a date afterward, you know." Jackson disclosed slyly. "It was before Japan so that should be fine, right?"

"Who went on a date?" Jaebeom looked confused. "The pawing man? With Mark?

" _Why_ would you tell him that?!" Mark practically screamed.

"Mark kisses great by the way," said Yoo Youngjae. "- Youngjae told me."

Mark's loud groan made the two Youngjaes laugh while Jaebeom patted his back consolingly. The younger man's reaction made the older man think that Jaebeom did not completely understand the joke and who the 'pawing man' was. Mark tensely waited for the shoe to drop. He wanted to die. Mark couldn't believe these people - he glared at the circle who seemed to be ganging up on him.

At first, Mark thought he escaped and Jaebeom was missing it all and that he'd be able to explain it later to Jaebeom but then Youngjae said, "I did buy you the wrong flavour ice cream. I blame Jackson. Although, you did practically climb down my throat to taste it though so maybe it wasn't so bad…"

"YOU KISSED YOUNGJAE'S BOYFRIEND YOUNGJAE, MARK FUCKING TUAN?! THAT YOUNGJAE WAS _HIS_ YOUNGJAE???"

 _And the penny drops…_ Mark quickly straddled the younger man's lap, grabbed his face and force the younger to look at him. "Babe! Babe! It was one time…"

"Hey! It was at least three times!"

He turned to glare at Choi Youngjae while still holding Jaebeom's face between his palms. "Stop helping me, Youngjae! You all go away while I placate my boyfriend! You guys are making it worse than what it is! You'll give him a complex! I'm sorry, baby. Let me explain!"

* * * * *

As Jaebeom listened to the older man berating the laughing, teasing men they called friends, he felt his heart swell. This man really did love him. Jaebeom squeezed the slighter man. "As long as it was before us, I can accept it," he mumbled while Mark was still holding his face.

Mark nodded fervently. He patted Mark's head, mollifying the slighter man somewhat. He wrapped his arms tightly around his waist. But he made sure to cast a glance at the two Youngjaes before pulling Mark down and proceeding to kiss the living daylights out of his man. "Mine," he whispered as he ended the kiss. Mark looked a little bemused - Jaebeom liked that.

He moved Mark forward, pulling Mark further into him. He crushed their lips together again. Kissing Mark was like a breath of fresh air. He lived for it. He kissed him again… and again... "I love you," he said between kisses. "I love you. Don't ever doubt that. Not now. Not ever." As they kissed, Jaebeom thought he could stay like this forever. As long as Mark was there.

"*cough* public displays *cough.*"

Jaebeom pulled back reluctantly. Mark gave a huff of disappointment. "Is there something stuck in your throat, Yugyeom?" the blond asked waspishly, as he clambered off Jaebeom and sat by his side. The way Mark glared and looked so mad at the younger three - Yugyeom, Youngjae and Bambam… Jaebeom couldn't help it - he started to laugh. And laugh some more. Finally, laughing so hard that he fell over, Jaebeom clutched at his stomach, realising that he loved all of these weird and wonderful people that made him feel so alive. He laughed until tears leaked out of his eyes, his heart expanding with every breath.

"You ok?" Mark sounded so concerned.

Everything was okay. Jaebeom never felt more secure in his life. His man loved him. His friends cared about him. Everything was in the open. Everyone shared, well, everything. Sitting up, he wiped his eyes, grabbing Mark by the nape and pulling him in close to smack a kiss on his head.

"We are all loons. And apparently believe in sharing. I love you all, you weirdos."

"Who are you and what have you done with Im Jaebeom?"

Their friends all piled on him and Mark, almost crushing them until Mark yelled at them. "Get off my boyfriend's broken and injured body because if I have to wait on him for another three months, I'll kill you all." They mock-grumbled, laughing all the while, but moved off Jaebeom carefully.

Sitting back, Jaebeom beamed at these people who meant something to him, to Mark. Jackson, Bambam, Yugyeom, the two Youngjaes, Seokjin, his parents. Jaebeom had forgotten how much he enjoyed hanging out with his friends and family like this. Having fun and just being here because they had called. It made his heart feel...stuff. He was lucky.

Just as Jinyoung and his relationship break up divided their friends, so was his and Mark's joining bringing them in together. He liked this. It made him go - Jinyoung who? He realised he didn't want anymore to do with Jinyoung, accident report or not accident report.

He sat up abruptly, staring at them all. They all stopped and looked at him expectantly. "I… I want you all to promise me something," he pleaded. "But please, hear me out before you get mad."

Glancing at each of them, he wondered if it was the right thing to do. He knew it was a big ask, but he needed this. He needed to ask them and he needed them to understand why he was asking them to do this. After everything his friends and family had already done for him, he was asking for more - did he have the right to do this? He looked at Mark for much-needed strength. His beautiful, wonderful boyfriend smiled encouragingly at him. He hoped he would still be as supportive in a minute's time. He wished and hoped that Mark, at least, would understand what he was about to say and why.

He took a deep breath and let it out in one go. "I want you to promise me… to never let Park Jinyoung know that he caused my accident."

The silence around him was deafening.

He knew his words would cause a big uproar. But it was important. Important for him; he needed this.

Brain was the first to break the silence. "Why?" the sound of his friend's voice was tight, constricted.

Jaebeom took another deep breath. "Because I need to move on, Brain." He held up a hand as he sensed the objections that were coming. "Please… "

"Jinyoungie will want to make amends, son," protested his father.

He turned to his dad. "Appa! That's why I don't want him to know!" he almost shouted. His voice was rising. He calmed at Mark's silent squeeze on his hip. He carried on, a little slower, a little calmer, "If he knows already, fine. But…" Jaebeom dropped his head. It felt right to do this. He wanted them to see it too, "...I don't want him to know that I know. He's done enough. He took care of me at the hospital even though all of that was a total fuck up and misunderstanding. But, he still blindly did it. I don't want to think that he only did it because he felt responsible. I want to keep remembering he cared; in his own warped little Jinyoung world, he cared."

"If Jinyoung finds out that he caused me to be run over, it might kill what is good in him. He may be an ass to everyone else, but he has feelings and it would crush him. I have no need for him to come seeking me for forgiveness, nor do I want him tortured in his mind or spirit by this knowledge. That would be a burden on my soul too. I'm not holding onto him. I'm not! I have said my goodbyes to him. But I have found my closure and I want it to stay that way."

He lay there, emotions spent, his head against Mark's shoulder. Mark was running his hands through Jaebeom's hair and it felt so good. He felt safe with Mark.

"You know… I was stupid yesterday. I'm glad you didn't see it," Mark's voice was low, melodic to his ears as the blond spoke said in his quiet way.

Jaebeom raised his brows. "Oh?"

Mark's cheeks pinked in colour. "It was really dumb. It took Taecyeon to wake me up and make me realise that I was being stupid. I know that Jinyoung was a part of your life and you will always think of him. Not everyday, not every moment, but he will be there."

The younger man started to reach for his hand, "Mark…"

"No, wait. I'm not worried about him. Far be it. I will be in your memories, too. Tomorrow, the next day, the day after, and the day after that. My job in your life is to make sure that you think a little less of Jinyoung everyday until one day he will simply be a part of history and not something that just comes unbidden to your mind when you do or say something. Then and only then will I have done my job being your partner."

Jaebeom looked at him, his eyes tearing up. He squeezed his eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay - Mark understood him.

"This here… what you are asking for from all of us. Understand that we all love you. We understand that you have loved, and a part of you will always, love Jinyoung. But we will all need time to process what you said. Some of us," Mark sent a pointed glance at Yoo Youngjae, "are angrier than others. And have reason to be. And some of us understand why you are doing what you are doing."

Yoo Youngjae grouched. "I won't say I'm proud of you because in a way I'm not. He destroyed you. But maybe that was what was needed."

"Are you saying that Jaebeom deserved what he got? Wow, harsh, babe." Choi Youngjae rubbed his boyfriend's back.

"Ah, but," Yugyeom justified, "maybe Brain hyung has a point. After all, JB and Jinyoung hyung were destined to break up because Jaebeom hyung needed to have his world shaken up by Mark hyung. You wouldn't know because you don't know him well yet, but look how far he has come - even with the accident getting in the way. He's out here in public being touchy-feely without it being the other person doing all the public displays of affection. It's all him. And did you listen to him? The old JB hyung would have dealt with Jinyoung hyung with anger and resentment… he's dealing with it with rational thought. Is it because of Mark hyung?"

"You give me far too much credit, Yugyeommie," Mark shook his head. Then he looked at Jaebeom, seriousness on his handsome face, making Jaebeom's heart lurch. He looked away, scared of what his boyfriend might say.

"Hey," he felt Mark's hand on his jaw, pulling him to face him, "I won't say I'm proud or anything cheesy like that because you hate it when I do that. I will say that it's good that you are doing this." Jaebeom lifted his eyes to meet Mark's shyly. This was why he loved Mark - the effortless way he bolstered him up. Mark met his eyes with gentle ones, "You spent ten years with him, Jaebeommie. More even if you count the lead up. You became the Im Jaebeom we know today because of your journey with him. " The younger man hid his pink cheeks as he listened to Mark's words. "Remember the happiness you had and treasure it. It'll be different from happiness with me, but it adds to your story. Just like my past adds to mine." Mark smiled, "Just as long as you are happy with your decision - are you?" Jaebeom nodded. Mark nodded in satisfaction. "Then it's fine. Remember, never regret the decisions you make. They were your choices. Jinyoung was your choice once. I trust in you because I'm one of your choices now."

"God, if this gets anymore cloying, somebody shoot me."

"Hush, you love it, Jin," Mrs Im teased the eldest one.

The older man's voice was plaintive. "I'm usually the voice of reason. I find it hard that Mark is now. He takes all the good words away."

"You can always have that," Mark assured the taller man. "From what I can gather, Jaebeom needs all the help he can get!"

"Hey!" Jaebeom objected. Mark turned to him with big innocent eyes. Jaebeom tsked. "Aish, I'm not falling for that. Don't give me that."

In a high baby voice, "Jaebeommie loves me!" Mark did aegyo before collapsing in embarrassment into his boyfriend's neck.

Instead of Jaebeom, Jackson squealed. "Can you resist that? Oh my god, my heart gives in every time when he makes that face."

Jaebeom scowled at the Chinese man squeeing at _his_ boyfriend. "Anyone would think it was you who loved Mark."

"I do, but not in the way you love Mark. Which is probably lucky because if I liked Mark like that, you wouldn't have had a chance at him at all."

"You are far too good to him," he sidled to Mark.

"Hey!"

Mrs Im broke in with her soft voice, "Are you sure about this, Jae-ah?"

He eyed them from his spot. "No," he replied shortly. "I'm not. But to what purpose does it serve telling Jinyoung this information? It's not concrete. We are speculating it because of what he said and of what the police report claims. It's not official. Plenty of men have been brought to their knees, hell, even their deaths because of speculation in this country. Hearsay and your reputation is gone, just like that. Neither of us have been good to each other recently. This is just me ending it peacefully amicably so that we can move on."

His father smiled, "And out of the fire rose the Phoenix.... I for one, am proud of you, Jaebeom. You have grown in a way that was perhaps harsher and more unforgiving, but you grew."

Jaebeom smiled at his father. "Thank you." His mother leaned over and gave him a kiss and squeeze his hand.

"You're a good man, Jaebeom," declared Jackson.

Yugyeom declared, shaking his head, "You don't even know him yet."

"Do you have to know someone to appreciate their journey?" demanded Jackson hotly. "You brat. Just because I don't know him well doesn't mean I can't see how he is a good man. He must have gone through a lot to get there and still retain his values. Besides," he added loftily, "I trust in Mark's judgement. You can have Jaebeom's."

Jaebeom tsked. "Aish… you brat…"

Youngjae and Youngjae sat together, looking at he and Mark. Jaebeom wasn't sure what to say to Yoo Youngjae. He knew that the man had a lot of anger and resentment built up against his ex. He just hoped that Yoo Youngjae wouldn't do anything stupid. Choi Youngjae gave him a smile. "Jae just needs some time, Jaebeom. He won't say anything to Jinyoung."

Yoo Youngjae muttered, "Yeah, like I'm going to see the man anytime soon anyway." Jaebeom watched as his best friend made an effort and shrugged away his black mood, "Anyone up for a game of ultimate frisbee?" After a chorus of "yes"es, Jaebeom and Mark found themselves left on the ground mat alone. Jaebeom stared after his friend, but it seemed that the other Youngjae had it all under control and had Brain laughing in next to no time.

"Thank god, he found that courage to ask that man out. I was supposed to be his wingman, did you know that? Instead," he pressed a soft kiss to Mark's forehead, I ran away to Japan and found you."

Mark bit his lip in that endearing way that Jaebeom loved so much before the older man spoke, "You know… I had a fear of falling back into a relationship. Of falling for you. I went ahead and asked you to do that trip and bungy and everything knowing that I could and most likely would fall in love with you. I followed you back to Seoul. I want you to know - for absolute certain, that I am here for you, not for any other reason. God, if you could only know just how much anxiety I put myself through when I followed you back here. _That_ is how I know I love you."

Jaebeom grabbed Mark and pulled him in, kissing him on the top of the head. "I love you," he whispered into his ear.

Mark smiled his big wide smile and hid his face against Jaebeom's shoulder. "I love you too, Jaebeommie," Jaebeom heard whispered softly. His heart was filled with joy and love and… peace.

 

* * * * *

 _You held my hand when it was cold_  
_When I was lost you took me home_  
_You gave me hope when I was at the end_  
_And turned my lies back into truth again_  
_You even called me "friend"_  
_You gave me strength to stand alone again_  
_To face the world out on my own again_ _  
_ ― Anne Murray

* * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. That is everything. Almost a year since I first started this mammoth fic (for me). I didn't think people would love it - heck, I didn't think people would even read it, let alone like it. I wasn't sure how this ending would work because I had thought about the ending before I even wrote the first chapter. But I did away with the epilogue idea. So this is slightly different to what I had pictured originally. But it works, doesn't it?
> 
> If you are here, thank you for reading this all the way to the end - warts and all. I apologise for the many chapters that were unbeta'd and the mistakes that were all mine. 
> 
> I thank Obliviouschyld and islandahgase for the time they spent talking me through my story and providing (bombarding) my inbox with pics of Mark for inspiration.
> 
> Thank you to all of you for your wonderful comments, your insightful thoughts, your kudos and your DMs. Please... feel free to add your comments below or hit me up on Twitter ( tjbaby101 )
> 
> Until the next time... or perhaps in that epilogue... ;)


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